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Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life
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Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life

3.95  ·  Rating details ·  253 Ratings  ·  33 Reviews
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Revised Edition
Paperback, Revised, 288 pages
Published December 2nd 1992 by Harper Perennial (first published February 1st 1982)
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Beverly Fox
Aug 08, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
When I purchased this book, I was at the very beginning of my separation. It took me a few months to actually start reading it. By the time I did I had already experienced several of the stages described: the confrontation scene, the separation, relief, deep shock, anger, ambivalence and depression (the last few still ongoing). I'd already experienced the emergence of self, gone through the public divorce, rediscovering sex and love with a new partner and still, in spite of all these new changes ...more
Paula Bear
Dec 17, 2017 rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction
This book is comprised of divorce stories that support the authors points. In some ways it was helpful to read about other peoples struggles. You feel validated and not alone, but after a point the stories stop helping. There is no light at the end of the tunnel with this book. In fact my big take away is that my next partner will likely cheat on me. Everyone cheats on everyone. Thanks for that.

This was the first book I read after my husband randomly decided our marriage wasn't worth fixing. It'
Feb 21, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Although divorce can be an embarrassing, humiliating, traitorous, and vindictive event in a person’s life; it is often a necessary end to a toxic relationship. This book describes the various stages of divorce and provides examples of various men and women’s battles through the trenches of separation. Most of the separations were based on the traditional cheating/lying scenario. There was a lack of alternative situations such as abuse, mental illness, and abandonment. However, the author provide ...more
Marsena Adams-Dufresne
Jan 10, 2010 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: no one
This book oozes hysteria, in the worst sense. The overabundance of exclamation marks, coupled with an emphasis on the TWO YEARS it takes to feel normal after a divorce is enough to make a reader feel crazier than when they first picked up the book. Going through a divorce may be a "Crazy Time," and it may in fact take TWO YEARS to get through the worst of the fallout, but we don't need books that exacerbate and feed off that feeling.
Kristine (fezabel)
Oct 19, 2008 rated it it was ok
Shelves: marriage
This book is not for divorces with no children involved. I'd like to add that the author tends to use quite a bit of catchy phrases like 'Crazy Time' and repeats them far too often. The case studies and stories in the book can be helpful, but are really too numerous to appreciate.

I did find the descriptions of common feelings and emotions to be helpful however. It's always nice to have those validated and understood. Not a bad book about divorce, but not one I would recommend.
Aug 10, 2008 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: people contemplating or going through divorce, perhaps friends and families of people doing so.
I read this book some time ago, but I continue to recommend it for anybody going through a divorce. It gives a framework that helps one understand what went wrong. Its descriptions of what to expect and common emotions during divorce can be profoundly reassuring to a person who fears that what they are feeling is 'wrong' or out of proportion.
Kylene Jones
Mar 02, 2013 rated it did not like it
Shelves: self-help
Horrible book. Did not give any advice just horror stories not to follow. Gave no hope or encouragment on things getting better or a possible good marriage cuz theya re all dysfunctional and everyone cheats- at least according to this book. For someone that is going through a divorce, especially with no abuse or cheating, this book was depressing and discouraging. DO NOT READ!
Feb 14, 2016 rated it really liked it
A really good book for people going through a divorce. It has lots of personal stories to relate to (and if you don't relate to one, there will be another along in a moment). It did take me a long time to read because it was so dense with emotions that I am still working through.
Oct 17, 2008 rated it did not like it
The short stories are filled with anger, rage and dissapointment - something that everyone feels to varying degrees during a divorce, but I didn't feel like the author was focusing on how to heal, only how to commiserate. Def not a reccomended read for someone going through a divorce.
Nov 10, 2008 rated it really liked it
The ultimate message of Crazy Time is "you will get through this," something many of my clients find hard to believe. I will continue to recommend this to them.
Daryle Tibbs
Jan 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I highly recommend this book to people in the early stages of learning about the divorce process. Crazy time, as the title suggests, acknowledges the craziness that can be a divorce. This book focuses on the different stages of the process and the different ways for dealing with those stages. All of this is written through the lens of the author who describes the final days of, what she now acknowledges as the end of her marriage. This book is especially important for someone who has had very li ...more
Tina Kim
Aug 08, 2017 rated it really liked it
Aside from all the disturbing references to murder-suicide, which grew comical, a valuable resource!
Catherine Joy
Jan 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
An outstanding book for anyone trying to negotiate the breakdown of their marriage.
Jeffrey Brantley
Jan 08, 2014 rated it liked it
So far I'm about halfway in and it's pretty awful. This author basically takes one of Eric Fromm's most insightful quotes, then tries to re-explain the same idea with her own spin. She fails though and then spends like half the book using made up examples, most of which are so ridiculous to borderline outlandish it's hard to take seriously.

In one example a guy is a high class executive who was in the skull and bones. In the next one, a guy has a French maid who he obviously is having an affair
Jan 12, 2014 rated it it was ok
Generalizations are made throughout the book, and many of them are not true in my case. I did not have an affair, and I would never have an affair. I was with a dominant man who ended up having an affair with the wife of his best friend. Now that I am single I can say with relative certainty, that unlike the book, I will not become a bed-hopping experimenter. Geez! I think someone is trying to justify their own inappropriate behavior with affairs and sexual wantonness portrayed as the norm.
Oct 03, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This book was extremely helpful in surviving the "Crazy Time" that is long process of divorce. I read it through and then re-read this book whenever something challenging came up in my journey because parts were relevant to my experiences at different times. I have recommended this book and even bought copies to give to friends as they began their journeys.
Lauren Goldfish
Jan 19, 2010 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book on the stages one goes through on the way to, through, and out of divorce. These things are never clear cut, but it is helpful to understand that you're not the only one feeling this way, that a way, all those crazy ways. Written well. Hilarious. Beautiful. It's not just non-fiction, it's written w/ some great flair!
Mary Rigney
Mar 13, 2012 rated it it was ok
It's a bit dated but some things never change. Whether reeling from an actual divorce or a long term relationship breakup with kids the stages are the same. It does validate the emotional roller coaster!
Dec 30, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: genre-self-help
Not much help for an actual divorce. Read it to prevent a divorce or a future divorce! Excellent food for thought regarding what goes wrong in relationship due to imbalance due dominate / submissive partnering.

Bought for my Sister but read by me instead.

Jun 09, 2016 rated it it was ok
The only merit of this book was the explanation of the types of "ghosts" and power dynamics that play out in relationships which without awareness, you are doomed to suffer with and repeat. TERRIFYING. This book was not comforting or hopeful, but did point out what can go wrong in a marriage.
Feb 08, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: marriage
I found the book a very interesting read, and have recommended it to several people going through divorce. I don't think any of them ready it. The thesis is simply that it is normal to feel disoriented, and this too will pass.
Mar 19, 2015 rated it really liked it
This book is very helpful. Abigail Trafford has been through a divorce, experienced the pain and interviewed hundreds of others. Straightforward and solid. I'll write more when I've completed this book.
Dec 26, 2009 rated it really liked it
An excellent book about divorce.
Jan 05, 2013 rated it really liked it
Helped me through my divorce, nothing fancy but it gave me hope I would come through it ok.
Mar 28, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: divorce survivors
Recommended to Brian by: marriage counsellor
this was a great roadmap of what to expect and how some of the things I did to deal with my wife leaving were not so out of the ordinary and were in fact quite normal
Sep 26, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ill, relationships
Descriptive rather than prescriptive. Tough to read; oh, the feelings confronted.
Oct 14, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Going through a divorce?
Oct 11, 2012 rated it it was amazing

Required reading for anyone either considering or going through a divorce!
Apr 20, 2015 rated it really liked it
Mostly solid book if you look at from an "is my experience normal" perspective.
Lynn Burch
Very helpful and informative ... read it before. Needed a refresher! :) But I am reading it!! LOL!
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