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Love, Retold
Tikva Wolf has witnessed love transcend and evolve beyond the rigid, traditionalist trappings of the fairy-tale romance. Love, Retold is a meditation on love and companionship for people who don't remember feudalism. Each chapter explores Wolf's experiences with loved ones—Wolf's lovers and their lovers. The stories capture key moments in these relationships, and they reflect on the murkier, tenebrous aspects of love, especially—but not exclusively—the non-monogamous kind. These stories illuminate and revere uncertainty, confronting the realities of mismatched needs and desires with compassion and self-reflection. In a world obsessed with beginnings and endings, this is a book about middles.
96 pages, Paperback
Published June 2, 2017
1 person is currently reading
370 people want to read
About the author
Tikva Wolf
6 books32 followersTikva Wolf is a freelance author and illustrator focusing on the topics of healthy communication and relationship dynamics. Wolf’s work is used as an aid by therapists and educators, has been translated to several different languages, and is a part of the Kinsey Institute’s archive collection as well as the Ivy Plus Libraries Global Webcomics Archive.
Having always taken delight in making people laugh, and in doing so also unveiling hidden perspectives, Wolf uses humor as a way of encouraging others to deeply see themselves and each other. Wolf is most well-known for the webcomic Kimchi Cuddles, which draws from real life stories and experiences to spread awareness about poly, queer, and genderqueer issues. Kimchi Cuddles’ authentic vulnerability is deeply relatable to anyone regardless of relationship or sexual orientation.
Wolf is available for creative commissions as well as speaking engagements.
Having always taken delight in making people laugh, and in doing so also unveiling hidden perspectives, Wolf uses humor as a way of encouraging others to deeply see themselves and each other. Wolf is most well-known for the webcomic Kimchi Cuddles, which draws from real life stories and experiences to spread awareness about poly, queer, and genderqueer issues. Kimchi Cuddles’ authentic vulnerability is deeply relatable to anyone regardless of relationship or sexual orientation.
Wolf is available for creative commissions as well as speaking engagements.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
January 13, 2019
First off, let me just say that Tikva Wolf is an awesome name! I could repeat it all day ...
So what sort of book has Tikva written for us? Love, Retold is a series of musings on Love in all its myriad mysteries and moods. Each chapter would appear to focus on a different individual, but no names are given, so it's hard to tell. They're drawn differently in each chapter, and, at the back of the book, there's an ad for another Tikva Wolf book, Ask Me About Polyamory. Indeed, this publisher would appear to specialize in books on the subject. That said, these meditations on Love, for the most part, make little mention of polyamory specifically, and one is free to interpret them as one will, whether poly or mono or something else entirely.
On the whole, this book didn't do much for me. I certainly didn't hate it, and Ms. Wolf's artwork is delightful. It just didn't strike me as anything special. I suppose I may just not have been in the proper frame of mind to appreciate it. Had I read it closer to Valentine's Day or my wife's and my wedding anniversary, it might have moved me more deeply. The fires of love in my life never seem to go out entirely, but some days feel more smokehouse than bonfire. This seems to be a book best appreciated with the one(s) you love. May it give you more insights than it did me ...
So what sort of book has Tikva written for us? Love, Retold is a series of musings on Love in all its myriad mysteries and moods. Each chapter would appear to focus on a different individual, but no names are given, so it's hard to tell. They're drawn differently in each chapter, and, at the back of the book, there's an ad for another Tikva Wolf book, Ask Me About Polyamory. Indeed, this publisher would appear to specialize in books on the subject. That said, these meditations on Love, for the most part, make little mention of polyamory specifically, and one is free to interpret them as one will, whether poly or mono or something else entirely.
On the whole, this book didn't do much for me. I certainly didn't hate it, and Ms. Wolf's artwork is delightful. It just didn't strike me as anything special. I suppose I may just not have been in the proper frame of mind to appreciate it. Had I read it closer to Valentine's Day or my wife's and my wedding anniversary, it might have moved me more deeply. The fires of love in my life never seem to go out entirely, but some days feel more smokehouse than bonfire. This seems to be a book best appreciated with the one(s) you love. May it give you more insights than it did me ...
May 24, 2017
It seems like only yesterday I was reviewing Tikva Wolf’s Ask me About Polyamory! and quite frankly in this time of massive uncertainty, revealed oppression and polarized opinion I wondered whether reading and reviewing their second book was the most constructive use of my time. If you too are dealing with emotional upheaval on a horrifically divisive global scale, choosing where to spend your time and deciding where to fight most effectively… be reassured that spending a little time reading, absorbing and reflecting on the messages in Love, Retold can be a legitimate part of that, whilst also providing unexpected comfort and relief. For me the surprise in this book is that whilst it is beautifully drawn in a rather different–more detailed–style than the current day comic strip, it is the well-crafted prose accompanying the graphics which touches. Whilst the subject matter deals with interpersonal relationships, it also gives voice to perspectives on freedom, grief, uncertainty and connection that we all experience at every level.
From a purely polyamorous perspective, Love, Retold personifies non-violent and exploratory angles on our perceived powerlessness created by an ultimate truth; we cannot control others or their willingness to be in a relationship with us, if we truly seek to love. Accepting this truth entails a willingness to accept the joy along with the pain and is precisely what makes love, wherever and however we find it, so precarious and so precious.
Don’t look for solutions in this book for you will find none. But you will find a better understanding of the common and poignant experiences which bind us all together because pain exists for which there is no obvious or one-size-fits-all solution… like what do you do when a much loved partner decides to climb the relationship escalator with another–an escalator that they have perhaps previously shunned? How do you cope when the uncertainty of your relationships is suddenly revealed by fear of loss? Can you reach a mutually satisfactory solution, or must you spiral inwards depending only on supposedly healthy but often lonely tools of self-care?
Those of us choosing consensual non-monogamy have often taken steps out of our comfort zones and attempted to dismantle systemic restriction only to replace them with other self-imposed constraints. Realising and undoing those constraints is sometimes more painful than going against the system not of our making and for which we can blame others. Love, Retold provides a moving third eye on our relationship journeys through a deeply vulnerable, flawed human being and narrator. Consisting of short graphically depicted key moments in Wolf’s own life, it delves into the inconsistency of our fundamental needs, like freedom versus security, our desire for connection whilst preserving our personal space, the hunger for knowledge but the attraction of mystery.
What does this book bring to me personally? A resonance that we’re all seeking for ways in which we can be happy but that our happiness is short lived and worth very little if it comes at the expense of others’ right to their own happiness. The first story moved me to tears–enough to know that I had to take my time with this book to reflect on and reinforce my own ethics which are so important, now more than ever.
Whilst we must not allow books like this one to lull us into a ‘love-and-light’ complacency, it is a timely reminder that at our core we all strive for the same needs even if our approaches might be drastically and sometimes despicably opposed. Fight hard, but don’t lose your compassion for others or yourself. Fight hard, but don’t let your anger drive you to become what you hate. Fight hard, but do not lose sight of the fact that those you fight are also human, just as you are.
Full disclosure: This review copy has been provided to me by Thorntree Press who also publishes my own books.
From a purely polyamorous perspective, Love, Retold personifies non-violent and exploratory angles on our perceived powerlessness created by an ultimate truth; we cannot control others or their willingness to be in a relationship with us, if we truly seek to love. Accepting this truth entails a willingness to accept the joy along with the pain and is precisely what makes love, wherever and however we find it, so precarious and so precious.
Don’t look for solutions in this book for you will find none. But you will find a better understanding of the common and poignant experiences which bind us all together because pain exists for which there is no obvious or one-size-fits-all solution… like what do you do when a much loved partner decides to climb the relationship escalator with another–an escalator that they have perhaps previously shunned? How do you cope when the uncertainty of your relationships is suddenly revealed by fear of loss? Can you reach a mutually satisfactory solution, or must you spiral inwards depending only on supposedly healthy but often lonely tools of self-care?
Those of us choosing consensual non-monogamy have often taken steps out of our comfort zones and attempted to dismantle systemic restriction only to replace them with other self-imposed constraints. Realising and undoing those constraints is sometimes more painful than going against the system not of our making and for which we can blame others. Love, Retold provides a moving third eye on our relationship journeys through a deeply vulnerable, flawed human being and narrator. Consisting of short graphically depicted key moments in Wolf’s own life, it delves into the inconsistency of our fundamental needs, like freedom versus security, our desire for connection whilst preserving our personal space, the hunger for knowledge but the attraction of mystery.
What does this book bring to me personally? A resonance that we’re all seeking for ways in which we can be happy but that our happiness is short lived and worth very little if it comes at the expense of others’ right to their own happiness. The first story moved me to tears–enough to know that I had to take my time with this book to reflect on and reinforce my own ethics which are so important, now more than ever.
Whilst we must not allow books like this one to lull us into a ‘love-and-light’ complacency, it is a timely reminder that at our core we all strive for the same needs even if our approaches might be drastically and sometimes despicably opposed. Fight hard, but don’t lose your compassion for others or yourself. Fight hard, but don’t let your anger drive you to become what you hate. Fight hard, but do not lose sight of the fact that those you fight are also human, just as you are.
Full disclosure: This review copy has been provided to me by Thorntree Press who also publishes my own books.
December 4, 2017
A collection of poignant and exhilarating mixtures of the emotional roller-coaster that is love found and love lost. Like poetry, it is filled with moments of startling clarity, amid the twists and turns we find in the everyday pursuit of the well lived life. I found myself reading each chapter and savoring the contents, purposefully taking the time to let them come to fruition, before moving ahead to the next exploration. An excellent read for anyone who has ever been in a relationship, or who is in one or more of them now.
August 7, 2017
Oh Tikva. Hit my feelings right in the gut.
I will re-read and share this, but it's hard for me to put down graphic novels, hence finishing in a matter of an hour. They lure me into reading them at lightning speed because pictures.
Anyway, the content. She talks about the "middles" which is what we often become less intentional about. Beginnings and endings receive so much attention and define so much. But what about the in-between? Can we be present for the mundane, the boring, the quiet and sweet and not just the wild passionate fireworks? Those are the scenes Tikva addresses in her seven short graphic stories. She asks some hard questions, too. What does a former love's new experiences with love mean for the love we shared? How do our needs in love change and how can we let that happen? Why do romantic partnerships receive so much more of our attention and effort? Can we define our relationships among ourselves, no roadmap style? I have found her web comic Kimchi Cuddles so interesting and useful to think with. Whether you're polyamorous, monogamous, solo, or somewhere else, her work has insights into relationships that I have not seen contemplated elsewhere. Polyamory gives Tikva much of the insights and experiences she shares, but I believe anyone who loves and is in love with people can find this helpful. She pays attention to and gives voice to the vulnerable moments most of us hide in shame and fear. It's uncomfortable and painful to see the thoughts so many grapple with, but also nice to have them out there.
The art is Tikva's fun, sweet style, amped up in deep color and graphics because hey, she can.
I will re-read and share this, but it's hard for me to put down graphic novels, hence finishing in a matter of an hour. They lure me into reading them at lightning speed because pictures.
Anyway, the content. She talks about the "middles" which is what we often become less intentional about. Beginnings and endings receive so much attention and define so much. But what about the in-between? Can we be present for the mundane, the boring, the quiet and sweet and not just the wild passionate fireworks? Those are the scenes Tikva addresses in her seven short graphic stories. She asks some hard questions, too. What does a former love's new experiences with love mean for the love we shared? How do our needs in love change and how can we let that happen? Why do romantic partnerships receive so much more of our attention and effort? Can we define our relationships among ourselves, no roadmap style? I have found her web comic Kimchi Cuddles so interesting and useful to think with. Whether you're polyamorous, monogamous, solo, or somewhere else, her work has insights into relationships that I have not seen contemplated elsewhere. Polyamory gives Tikva much of the insights and experiences she shares, but I believe anyone who loves and is in love with people can find this helpful. She pays attention to and gives voice to the vulnerable moments most of us hide in shame and fear. It's uncomfortable and painful to see the thoughts so many grapple with, but also nice to have them out there.
The art is Tikva's fun, sweet style, amped up in deep color and graphics because hey, she can.
June 24, 2018
Only made me cry a lil bit. #PolyFeels
May 16, 2020
I loved the book. This was my second read. It's a small read - 30 mins to an hour tops. Tikva Wolf is opinionated. She might not have a perfectly healthy view of love or at least the healthy view is not always apparent. Maybe she has a healthier view but this book is meant to capture only the magical parts of love. That is not to say that it's a fantasy romcom like book. It's profound in it's observations about love and polyamory. It does speak a bit about unconditional love which I personally find a little bit simplistic and unhealthy. But other than that it's a profound book. It's poetry in prose form. There are few quips that you'd want to make a part of your romantic toolkits. It so beautifully captures the curious feelings that we feel in relationships and around love. Her observations on polyamorous love provide food for thought. IMHO, her open/poly/mono marriage with her husband reveals the future of human relationships. You want to read this book like a book of poems - slowly, taking breaks while reading them and considering what the words mean in the context of the imagery and feel the emotions that they are trying to convey subtly yet accurately. Everyone who believes that they want to love deliberately and with purpose, not just to put a check on the checklist of life should read this book.
October 30, 2022
It's a nice and a very personal book. I appreciate the openness and metaphors to express feelings that do not have so much space in our culture. Those are the feelings that many of us have and try to suppress: fear of the unknown and maybe disappointment of the romantic relationships (that we were told are the most relationships we can ever have) not working out.
I find the book a bit too short though. I wish there were more stories, more process how to work through one's feelings when relationships change. I know it is a lot to expect from a comics book, but I think it would have been even more relatable and a good book to look up once the relationship unknown comes to one's life.
I find the book a bit too short though. I wish there were more stories, more process how to work through one's feelings when relationships change. I know it is a lot to expect from a comics book, but I think it would have been even more relatable and a good book to look up once the relationship unknown comes to one's life.
August 8, 2017
I actually just discovered Ms. Wolf's webcomic, "Kimchi Cuddles" so this was a timely book for me. Her artwork is very simple which greatly contrasts the deep and meaningful message she wishes to convey. She spins words together very poetically. I absolutely loved the unique mini-stories and the powerful metaphors found in this book. The book seems very personal to the author. I sincerely appreciated the author's perspective on polyamorous and polyam/monog relationship concerns. I look forward to reading more from this author.
January 1, 2018
What I like about this book is what I like about Kimchi Cuddles -- a peek into Tikva Wolf's inner processing of their relationships. Reading this book gave me a bit of warm and fuzzies, but it doesn't do a whole lot more for me as a polyamorous person.
I think this is a nice book to read (ask your local public library to purchase it in their collection!), maybe even to have in a personal collection (I think I'll add it to mine).
I think this is a nice book to read (ask your local public library to purchase it in their collection!), maybe even to have in a personal collection (I think I'll add it to mine).
May 6, 2018
A nice view into one polyam life
I could relate to their experience, but it was really focused on their particular set up. I'm solo polyam so a lot of material I read is focused around folks with primaries. I just wish there was more about other relationship styles. That's my only qualm. The writing is smart and honest. The artwork is good, I like the art style and color choice. I would recommended this to new polyam couples or people who have primaries.
I could relate to their experience, but it was really focused on their particular set up. I'm solo polyam so a lot of material I read is focused around folks with primaries. I just wish there was more about other relationship styles. That's my only qualm. The writing is smart and honest. The artwork is good, I like the art style and color choice. I would recommended this to new polyam couples or people who have primaries.
February 4, 2018
I love Kimchi Cuddles but I didn't love this book. It felt to me like it was written for Wolf's "pack" and I found it hard to relate to or understand as an outsider. Instead of being short, relate-able comic strips like Kimchi Cuddles, each topic took several pages and held a lot of metaphors for love/relationships that don't fit with my experiences.
August 7, 2017
Poetic and vulnerable, Tikva writes with an authentic voice full of exploration and love. Best enjoyed in a quiet room with space for reflection, these short ruminations can be savored fully over time.
December 24, 2017
Short but sweet
Deep reflections into the enigma we call love - with polyamory thrown in for good measure. Wolf attempts to lay her innermost thoughts and feelings out bare for the reader - and succeeds.
Deep reflections into the enigma we call love - with polyamory thrown in for good measure. Wolf attempts to lay her innermost thoughts and feelings out bare for the reader - and succeeds.
December 15, 2022
Sweet and tender vignettes of lovers and personal reflections. Written almost as love letters to others in Tikva's life. One of them will harbor a gem for someone, and each person will probably find something different that is meaningful in the same book.
January 19, 2026
A good book to get you thinking about Love Positive relationships. I loved the line "Poly propaganda" as it might just get you to think outside of that box. Illustrations are fun and speak the story as well, even when slightly more simpler in details.
June 21, 2017
Cute graphic novel on love and relationships.
July 3, 2018
While the art is nothing to write home about the beautiful way Tikva Wolf appreciates her partners and the various forms they come in is fantastic.
May 6, 2019
This book is a gorgeous little gift, like a dear friend is taking you by the hand and letting you know that they see you.
March 6, 2019
Some sweet and poignant illustrated vignettes about ethically non-monogamous relationships by Tikva Wolf of Kimchi Cuddles fame. It reads a bit like a children's book for grown-ups, which I don't mean as a criticism in the slightest. I just mean that there's little in the way of narrative, instead simply presenting a series of situations accompanied by brief observations about them with an art style that would be at home in a children's book. I think anyone involved in ethically non-monogamous relationships, especially those who are newer to the conflicted emotions that some have difficulty processing, could gain something from this intimate look into one person's own inner world as Wolf traverses the emotional landscape of their own relationships.
July 20, 2024
[2024]
It doesn't feel as deeply meaningful as it did in my early 20s but I do enjoy it reminds me of how many people I think about when I think about love.
[2021]
I re-read that to remember it's okay for relationships to change.
I re-read that to remember love is love with each of its million faces.
[2018]
Some of these pictures were very familiar - I knew them from inside me. Others were new but seemed naturally true.
I recommend it to everybody!
It doesn't feel as deeply meaningful as it did in my early 20s but I do enjoy it reminds me of how many people I think about when I think about love.
[2021]
I re-read that to remember it's okay for relationships to change.
I re-read that to remember love is love with each of its million faces.
[2018]
Some of these pictures were very familiar - I knew them from inside me. Others were new but seemed naturally true.
I recommend it to everybody!
April 30, 2017
I received a copy of this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
Somehow I didn't quite realize that this graphic novel was focused on polyamory -- which I know is not for me, but I have a lot of respect for people who do manage to successfully negotiate polyamorous relationships.
There's a lot of wisdom in this little book, even if you're not polyamorous or even interested in the subject. A nice reminder not to take the people we love for granted.
Somehow I didn't quite realize that this graphic novel was focused on polyamory -- which I know is not for me, but I have a lot of respect for people who do manage to successfully negotiate polyamorous relationships.
There's a lot of wisdom in this little book, even if you're not polyamorous or even interested in the subject. A nice reminder not to take the people we love for granted.
March 29, 2018
This is a short but good read. It celebrates life as an adventure and that when we live it with a heart that is open to twists, turns, and new experiences, then we might gain more than we ever could hope for or imagine.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews