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The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide

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Despite their agreeable demeanor, INFPs represent one of the most passionate and complex personality types within the Myers-Briggs Inventory. Employing a wholly unique stack of cognitive functions, this type sees the world around them not just as it is but also as it could be—making them a deeply imaginative and highly idealistic personality.In this detailed, type-based survival guide, seasoned MBTI author Heidi Priebe explains the strengths and struggles INFPs face as they navigate the world around them as one of the most creative and emotionally intense personality types.

300 pages, ebook

First published September 27, 2016

307 people are currently reading
1808 people want to read

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Heidi Priebe

11 books628 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 97 reviews
Profile Image for Harkeerat Dhunda.
79 reviews13 followers
November 26, 2017
“Perhaps what every INFP longed to hear growing up is simply that it’s okay to feel things as deeply as they do. It’s okay to be overjoyed one moment and filled with despair the next. It’s okay to feel the pain of the whole world on your shoulders and to find its redemption inside tiny, fleeting moments. It’s okay to break down. It’s okay to let in happiness. It’s okay to be terrified about what comes next and to find beauty in the most unexpected places. It’s okay to ride every tidal wave that introverted feeling overwhelms you with, as long as you don’t let it drown you.”

Being an INFP, the accuracy of all of this hit me pretty hard.
I'm almost always misunderstood by others, and this book let me realize who I truly am and I swear I don't think I've ever felt more understood.
This book has helped me realize my greatest strengths, weaknesses and how I can overcome them.
I can finally fathom how my cognitive functions: reasoning, memory etc. work and how I can work on them to improve myself.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else is the greatest accomplishment."
Profile Image for Ashley Marilynne Wong.
423 reviews23 followers
August 31, 2018
Lovely, lighthearted and therapeutic. After reading this book I feel recharged and I am now ready to crack on with writing my first novel <3 This book certainly motivates me to dream on and dream away, writing in my cave at home 💖💖💖
Profile Image for Lauren.
264 reviews28 followers
October 13, 2016
I know, I know. Another MBTI book, Lauren, really? Weren't you an ENFP? Literally, didn't you just read Priebe's ENFP book?

Okay, okay. Yes. Yes, I did. However, after reading this, I'm 99% I mistyped myself, as INFPs are prone to do. Afterall, I've been testing as an INFP for YEARS. What, suddenly I like to surround myself with people and I'm an extrovert? Yeah, so I retook the test and answered all questions with an extrovert angle. Thus, ENFP. I'm dumb. Apparently we're also guilty of mistyping often.

"This type lives in a world of identity possibilities and they are constantly shifting their perspective and redefining exactly what it means to be themselves."

Anyway, this book made me realize I'm just not operating on a healthy level as an INFP, which is really messing with me.

One thing that I have a difficult time coming to terms with -- especially pursuing the career path that I am -- is that I am a very emotional person, in the sense that I feel deeply and am constantly processing everything around me on an emotional level.

"emotional intensity of the INFP is this type’s greatest blessing as well as their greatest curse."

But enough about me. The book was good -- though I did enjoy the ENFP guide better. This one was VERY heavy on the cognitive functions and I found myself flipping back and forth to make sure I was getting it all. I had to stop often to make sure I was absorbing the information; it was a lot of heavy stuff to take in, whereas the ENFP guide was a lot more fun-centric. This one was very deep and definitely hit the darker points of my type, which was needed. If you're looking for a funny read on what your type does at a party, though, THIS IS NOT IT.

One of my favorite parts of the book was how INFPs work with other types -- though it was phrased in the context of relationships, it was pretty easy to ignore that language and relate it to how I interact with other types in a day-to-day sense. It was also helpful from a romantic angle, though, as my boyfriend is an ENTP and we often see the world very differently. All of our challenges were spot on and provided helpful tips on how to understand where the other type is coming from.

"The ENTP may feel smothered by the INFP’s need for reassurance and commitment, whereas the INFP may feel neglected by the ENTP’s need for independence and freedom."

#needyAF

Overall, the book was exactly what I needed to identify my funk and figure out a plan of action on how to get out of it. I've definitely been rolling in a tertiary loop and need to work on strengthening my functions.

If you're an INFP, I recommend this. If you are close with an INFP, I recommend this. I rated it a 4/5 on Goodreads.
Profile Image for Hala.
51 reviews6 followers
January 12, 2021
This book felt like reading my own Terms and Conditions of Use lol. Many ideas that used to bother me and which I didn't know how to formulate properly, turned out to just be pretty interesting aspects of my personality type. Also, a recurring thought kept coming to me while reading this book, -other than trying to find the equivalent of every single sentence in my own life- is that oh my god i's so exhausting to be human hhhhhhh Can't i just live???! Do I have to become 𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 and dEveLoP mY Te uughhh (yes the answer is yes i have to do that nevermind me this is a really great book and that's just my Fi talking)
Profile Image for Iman  Binagh Dirige.
13 reviews
December 31, 2025
“We are beautiful creatures. With so many talents that aren’t as common but sorely needed in this world. We keep a little bit of magic still in our hearts. We can see the potential in everything. If we could harness our creativity, it would have no bounds. We can be empathetic and gentle, but have a stronger core than you think.”🌻

This. All of this. Enjoyed this lovely INFP-A life guide within one sitting.🌻

Naturally as a wholeheartedly optimistic open-book with beautiful chapters - I’ve known who I am for a lifetime as a humbly assertive individual. Been on a decade long journey to understand the “why” - beyond grateful to now know since beginning my cognitive function and MBTI journey with the love of my life in Iraq. Appreciated the sweet tidbit on healthy relationships with those captivating ENTJ-A & successfully raising ENFJ/ENTP children.🌻

Highly recommended read for fellow keepers of FiNeSiTe cognitive functions that hold a 9w1 Enneagram.🌻

Goodreads review shared publicly December 17th 2019 - coincides with our Pinterest vision boards for our humble Dirige Ohana.🌻🌺🍀🌸🌵
Profile Image for Sheziss.
1,367 reviews486 followers
March 28, 2017
This is the most complete book about the topic I have read so far. And a bonus: it's also kind of therapeutic.

It's the basic about INFP but it's developed in a more 'profound' way, touching hidden and subtle parts of the matter that nurtured and satisfied my curiosity.

The theoretical part in the beginning is hard to grasp at first. It's very intangible and easy to mix and get lost in the middle of all those terms: Fi, Ne, Si, Te: introverted Feeling, extroverted iNtuition, introverted Sensing, and extroverted Thinking. Each 'power' has a role, and the order is quite important. When I finally understood how this worked and why, it all made sense in my head, and I could see the pattern in which my mind works.

When my mind is ok and when it's not.

Quite revealing.

The way an INFP grows up and the various steps in the road which confuse you and make you behave differently, not recognizing yourself in each step.

In the end it makes sense. But I would have liked to know more about this part.

The Enneagram is quite telling, too. It explains once and for all why the differences between INFPs. Apparently, the most common one is the type 4, the Individualist, the 'artsy' one. The second most common is the type 9, the Peacemakers. When I read the third most common I knew that was me, the type 6: the The Loyalist.

Another innovative concept was how relationships work with the INFP. I particularly enjoyed how these relationships vary and are played with each specific type: the reasons why they attract each other, the challenges, and the solutions to such conflicts.

It's a more theoretical book, but on the other hand, it's also more subjective. We get to see the personal vision and opinion of flesh and bone INFP people. Advices they would have wanted to hear when they were young, what they love about themselves... even non-INFP people telling what they like about INFPs.

That's why the therapeutic hint of this book. In a way, it says it's not only ok, but awesome, to be how you are, who you are.
Profile Image for Aakanksha Jain.
48 reviews14 followers
February 22, 2021
If you indentify as INFP personality type, this book would feel like someone observed you all your life , even your inner world and even the things you couldn't understand - and put them into a kind book. ❤️

And like other reviews say, it's extremely therauptic. Thanks to the author for writing this.
Profile Image for Yannes.
216 reviews47 followers
Read
December 10, 2021
I really appreciate all the insights given in the book, especially the interview parts and the parts where it explains the science behind each personalities. However I do find it slightly repetitive in the compatibility parts, talking about the relationships between infp and other mbti. To me, that whole part sums up in one line: communication is KEY. Anyway, I’m really glad to see other people embracing themselves as infp :””) Overall, I would recommend the book if you’re interested in how the minds on infp work in detail.
Profile Image for P.
991 reviews59 followers
July 11, 2018
This book is a physical equivalent of receiving a hug for who you are. Even now, in my 20s, my family does not accept me for who i am and looks down on me for my hypersensitive and emotional nature. I have read several articles by Heidi which were all so understanding and empowering. It means a lot to read this and every word feels like an embrace, a gift. Thank you Heidi for writing this book. There were things in here I'm not ready to face yet which I will get back to, on a later stage, things that were hard to hear but also what I deep down knew to be true of my behavior regarding the tertiary loop, manifesting of the shadow side and my avoidant style of conflict management. Almost everything was so spot on including the love languages except that I have always tested as an INFP in all my different stages of life, different moods but I guess, that's what makes living particularly hard in a world so opposite when your preferences for introversion, intuition and feeling is too strong to ever be mistyped. But also I loved the take on cognitive functions and the enneagram. It feels like I understood enneagrams a little more better the way you explained. So well Heidi, great job & thank you ❤
Profile Image for Günther.
5 reviews5 followers
September 5, 2017
Heidi Priebe's INFP survival guide is a good start for any INFP trying to understand him or herself. She explains the basics of the type and how well they tackle certain situations like their workspace, parenting, etc. She provides the pros and the cons while trying to help us handle some of those cons.

The most interesting chapter in my eyes was the one about the unhealthy INFP behaviors. Most INFP's know we are prone to mental problems like anxiety, depression and many others. Knowing this is one thing. Understanding it quite another. That's why i find it important to know what could be possible reasons for succumbing into such dark depths and how to combat it. It is in this chapter that Heidi Priebe gives us important insights into our "dark side" (and no, this has nothing to do with the dark side of the Force :D ). While i already knew quite a bit about being an INFP, it is in this chapter that i learned the most.

The only drawback about my reading experience? I encountered quite a bit of spelling mistakes. Maybe it depends a lot on my specific edition and there is a more error-free version on the market. It just sticks out while reading. (This while English is not my native language).

PS: I suppose everyone is going to try and find as many spelling mistakes in my review as they can. :D
179 reviews1 follower
January 1, 2024
The information was generally correct and the advice was sound. There were some beautiful analogies to help understanding, which I (or my Ne) appreciated.
However, lacking in depth analysis or theories, this book would serve better as an introduction. Though I had an extremely good takeaway quote "You are not your Fi alone"
Profile Image for Alex Lindner.
170 reviews1 follower
March 28, 2021
I used to walk through life on eggshells because I was terrified I would hurt people’s feelings the same way little words and actions had the power to shatter my day.

THAT. I highlighted that quote from a fellow INFP because I have rarely related to anything more.

This book was much needed. There are aspects of myself that I’ve always been ashamed of - namely, how emotional I am. I’ve been called “too sensitive” on multiple occasions and it’s made me think that perhaps something is wrong with me. Others are able to handle things better than I can, so clearly I’m the problem.

WRONG. It’s not my fault that I feel deeply, and there are benefits to being this way. Reading this book about my personality type had me going “OMG that’s so me” so many times. For the first time ever, I used a highlighter while I was reading this so I could call out the sentences that described me to a T.

Perhaps what every INFP longed to hear growing up is simply that it’s okay to feel things as deeply as they do. It’s okay to be overjoyed one moment and filled with despair the next. It’s okay to feel the pain of the whole world on your shoulders and to find its redemption inside tiny, fleeting moments. It’s okay to break down.

Some ways being an INFP manifests itself in my life, taken from this book:
- I spend a lot of time daydreaming and fantasizing about my future or possible ways situations in my past could have played out. I enjoy that rich fantasy world more than I would actually enjoy the reality of those fantasies
- The experiences of others affect me in a strong, personal way
- I’m good at remembering small facts and subtle details about the people I love
- I’m typically my own worst critic in order to avoid criticism from others. I tend to think I’m failing to live up to other people’s standards
- I focus on the comfort and happiness of those around me, sometimes to my own detriment
- I require a decent amount of validation that I’m deserving of love

I don’t read nonfiction often, but I’m glad I picked this book up.
Profile Image for Alysha.
172 reviews
January 17, 2018
So, I've been spending many years trying to be an extrovert and not even realizing it. My heart is full of love for people and wanting the world to have more joy, peace, wonder, etc. I'm often spontaneous, enjoy trying new experiences, can't say "No" when I feel like I should help someone and talk to people fairly easily, this all lead me to Priebe's ENFP survival guide, but while reading it I felt like something was off. It wasn't quite me, although many things did ring true. After studying cognitive functions more, I decided I could be an INFP after all. This book confirmed everything for me and I feel so understood. I clearly saw the traits in myself that I've been trying to cover up or avoid, as well as the many traits I've always loved most about myself.

I'm definitely an introverted feeler, constantly thinking (subconsciously), "How do I feel about this," or, "How would I feel if that were me?" I pray for the homeless people I see as I drive around town, often crying when my husband or children cry because I take on their pain as my own. I'm a full time stay at home mom of 3 young children and I almost always feel drained from it, now I know why and how to better care for myself - even though it's hard for me to prioritize myself sometimes. Understanding my functional stack better has opened a window into my being, I now clearly see my inner life and how I process, as well as respond, to the world.

I'm a whimsical, empathetic, heart-driven individual and it's such a relief to know and love myself for it all.
Profile Image for Camille McCarthy.
Author 1 book41 followers
May 24, 2021
This is a great guide to INFPs in general, especially breaking down the INFP functional stack and what it means. I found the advice to be practical and useful, and I liked that the author included anecdotes and statements from actual INFPs about how they had experienced certain things, like getting past heartbreaks and what they think about being INFPs, or what happens when they've come to certain crises. It's definitely helpful to know how my type thinks through problems, the pitfalls we can face, and how to work on improving those issues. It's also nice to be at an age where I'm working on my inferior function which means I'm using this book to help me understand myself and what areas I need to work on (organization, executing plans) and it's nice that my personal goals match up nicely with the trajectory of my type. Most of all it's nice to know I'm not alone and that I'm not the only one who experiences life like this, who has a lot of energy devoted to intellectual pursuits yet feels like they live in a fog most of the time and can't seem to actually get anything done.
I would definitely recommend this book to other INFPs and this author did a great job of going into the type and breaking it down in an easy-to-understand way. I came across it through Arcadia Page's book "Idealist Dreams," a great resource on how to get organized as an INFP, and it was a great recommendation.
Profile Image for Midori.
69 reviews11 followers
July 17, 2019
All the online personality tests always gave me the result of INTP, portraying me as an emotionless robot. In fact, I do not give a damn about the emotion of my conversation partner (as I expect everyone to be mature enough to know how to handle things without personal emotions), sometimes I found myself saying things too straight to the point which certainly made some people upset or think that I was being mean. But deep down my gut telling me that something was wrong as I have the ability to put myself in other people's shoes and know what others may feel when it comes to certain situation. Read this book, and bam! I'm a mature/developed INFP who just got better and better at taming down my primary Fi and controlling my inferior Te, being able to make it a healthy Te while really excel at Ne to the extent that my dominant function is now Ne.
Profile Image for Gabriele Edwards.
3 reviews
September 19, 2021
Excellent book to give INFP insights into themselves and their relationships. I enjoyed listening to the mature traits VS the unhealthy traits and how to nurture the latter. At times it was a bit research heavy and I found myself getting lost in the letter traits… maybe I just need to be better versed. In any regard I recommend the book for any INFP Interested in learning more about themselves and how they display their traits in relationships.
32 reviews
April 2, 2022
Scary that a person can be defined by 4 letters. Yet comforting to learn that there is a structure to relate to the different people.
Profile Image for Sandy.
436 reviews
November 30, 2023
This took so long to read bc it was repetitive and boring. The same things have been said succinctly in other books.
Profile Image for Carl.
56 reviews
June 2, 2021
I should begin this review by saying I'm not usually one to read these types of books, and my knowledge of the MBTI is rudimentary at best. However, I know myself quite well, and after having had a brief read on all 16 types, INFP is the one that resonates with me the most, confirming my initial test, that also was under the INFP banner. As with most self-help books I was skeptical about Heidi Priebe's "The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide"(from here on after just written as "The Guide). However I was pleasantly surprised.

Heidi Priebe has laid out a wonderful framework with a clear direction, and even going further and deeper, which many of the online tests fail to do so. Even the most introvert INTP has an outwards energy, which rung a bell with me. As a creative person, there are few things i enjoy more than putting my work out there, either in brainstorm sessions, finished projects or showing off my photography and/or painting abilities to others. I tell myself and others that I don't like it, or at least is indifferent, but inherently this isn't true.

The Guide follows the INFP growing up, from childhood to adulthood, and up to around 30 years old, where the INFP personality truly lands and becomes a clear integrated and hopefully successful adult. Having turned 30 recently, I must say it resonates well and I truly only are beginning to feel comfortable now.

I will have to go back and reread many of the chapters both to get an even deeper and better understanding of myself, but also because there is solid advice, INFP's in the workplace, INFP's in relationships, etc., which I want to get better at understanding. The Guide has unveiled somethings, but not much of it is truly new knowledge, which I presume only reinforces my personality type. It puts some of my thoughts in words and ensures I'm not as alone as I felt before reading this book.

Who is The Guide for? Well, I see three segment:
1. You are an INFP, but is somewhat well-adjusted and striving, and is simply curious about yourself. Recommendation, hammer through it and don't read too much into it and skim parts that aren't relevant.
2. You are an INFP, but you are an absolute mess! Suffers anxiety, depression, perfectionism, unsuccessful from work and/or not great in relationships, then this is the book for you. Recommendation. Read the first parts thoroughly and in depth. It might unlock places in your mind that usually is somewhat inaccessible and hidden. Find the chapters that relevant for you and focus on them, but read the entire book.
3. You are in a relationship with an INFP. You will get a deeper understanding and be able to cater to their needs, because they might not always be able to do that themselves. Recommendation: Read the chapters about the INFP in relationships, workplace and towards the other 15 personality types. Not all INFP's are the same, but once you get some of the basics right, you might just be surprised, and surprise him/her.

Selfhelp books are hard to judge. I've given it 4/5 here on Goodreads. The Guide is one of the better books I've read about my personality type, but I haven't a long repertoire of books under the belt. However I do see this book lingering for longer in my collection, however hidden adn for my disclosure only. Know Thyself, as a smart man once said, and this is one of the keys to do exactly that.
Profile Image for Mar.
11 reviews
June 11, 2019
3.5: it’s no longer very late at night, so this will be semi-coherent. This was a really good review of the INFP personality and gave me a lot of clarity into some aspects about myself. However, the constant usage of “he or she” was very jarring and awkward to read, especially when the author would use “they” shortly afterwards, sometimes even in the same sentence.
Profile Image for Sassenka.
15 reviews29 followers
March 27, 2017
So, a MBTI book? Things have come to a pretty pass huh? I'm fascinated by personalities and people so, yes I am pretty interested in this stuff lately. But, I also think some people may take it too seriously. Let me quote Elizabeth Turner to show you my opinion on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator: "You're pirates. Hang the code, and hang the rules. They're more like guidelines anyway." Okay, I could have skipped the pirates part, though.

This book is half description of the INFP type (you don't really need to buy a book for that, it's on the internet everywhere) and the other half is a more in depth explantation of the cognitive functions, how they work under stress or "dark times", how to deal with it and some examples of "healthy" and "unhealthy" INFP behavior (and this half was interesting and worth buying the book).

To me, as an INFP type, most of those things made really sense. Especially if you had to deal with "times of trouble", or you do so now, you probably find this book helpful.

Heidi Priebe has a charming way to write about the INFPs and their struggles, and so I read this book in a few hours straight. It has some great aha moments and some other parts made me smile because I felt caught :P
Profile Image for Sabrina.
48 reviews
June 30, 2024
2.5*

taking this book in with a grain of salt primarily because MBTI is an alleged pseudoscience, but it’s a pleasant reminder that ‘introverts’ have purpose and success in modern society. personally i don’t think survival guides and personality tests are necessary for as long as we take the time to accept our talents and flaws and treat ourselves and those around us with the respect and understanding.

hot take, but making your MBTI your main personality (same goes for zodiac signs) just makes you a pretentious ass. it’s not that deep. just act human and treat everyone like a human.
749 reviews
December 20, 2022
[Audiobook] I 100% do not recommend listening to this as an audiobook. It is impossible to keep the abbreviations straight without being able to refer back. Actually, I’m not sure I recommend this as a book book either. The whole concept assumes a way greater level of intimacy with MBTI than I possess (I’m lucky I know my own? let alone people I know??) and somewhat smacks of astrology. It’s all just a bit much.
Profile Image for Jerry André.
Author 4 books4 followers
November 27, 2018
It took me a while to read but I really don’t regret it. The book is full of insightful advice and explanation for all INFPs out there. There’s some small typing mistakes throughout the book.
105 reviews54 followers
December 31, 2019
A very comprehensive book on INFPs. Both healthy and unhealthy versions of the cognitive functions are discussed. A should-be-kept book for reference and inspiration as per need basis.
2 reviews
June 22, 2020
Just a bit too much of MBTI jargon, for my personal taste!
382 reviews
June 13, 2020
4.6

I don't know why exactly I decided to read this but the timing couldn't be more perfect.

I'm currently in the midst of trying to heal an emotional wound whose cause I'm having a hard time understanding and thus having a hard time coming to terms with. Up until now, whenever I drop everything I'd been distracting myself with and let myself reconnect to my feelings, I feel the devastation all over again. The most accurate description I can come up with is it feels like thousands of needles sticking out of my heart with someone squeezing the hell out of it.

I sometimes even wish that I'm not this deeply attached so that I wouldn't feel the pain this intensely. Everything just feels like a bottomless well that remains filled to the brim no matter how much I had already released.

Anyway, I'm telling this because while the book overall resonated with me, I was especially amazed with the unhealthy infp behaviors part. It was so on point in describing what's going on with me that I'm amazed that someone was able to express my experiences/sentiments into words that make sense.

So,, yeah. Because of that, I was able to understand myself more which, accompanied with the actionable steps given, helped me with caring for me and my needs better.

Moving on, I find some of the parts lacking, especially the INFP relationships and the one that detailed the possible dynamics of infp and all the other types. But given the volume of this book and the scope it managed to cover, not bad. This was at least able to give a rundown of the infp cognitive functions and how they fare in various life situations. Honestly, I feel like other resources were able to explain them in more detail but the usage of such vividly accurate imagery in this made up for it.

I feel like someone else reading this would find it awkward or cringe-y. Which is understandable since this wasn't that coherent and structured. However I don't mind since I have the context of what happened and who I am and that's all that matters.
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