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Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It
We’ve been thinking about sex all wrong. Mainstream media, movies, and porn have taught us that sex = penis + vagina, and everything else is just secondary. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don’t orgasm this way. We’ve separated our most reliable route to orgasm—clitoral stimulation—from how we feel we should orgasm—penetration. As a result, we’ve created a pleasure gap between women and men:
50% of 18-35-year-old women say they have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner
64% of women vs 91% of men said they had an orgasm at their last sexual encounter
55% of men vs. 4% of women say they usually reach orgasm during first-time hookup sex
In Becoming Cliterate, psychology professor and human sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz exposes the broader cultural problem that’s perpetuating this gap, and what we can do about it. Pulling together evidence from biology, sociology, linguistics, and sex therapy into one comprehensive, accessible, and prescriptive book, Becoming Cliterate features:
Cultural & historical analysis of female orgasm (spoiler: the problem’s been going on for ages)
An anatomy section (it’s all custom under the hood)
Proven techniques for cliterate sex (it starts with training the sex organ between your ears)
A comprehensive final chapter for men (because you don’t have to have a clitoris to be cliterate)
By dispelling the lies, misunderstandings, and myths that have been holding us back, Becoming Cliterate tackles both personal and political problems and replaces them with updated outlooks and practical skills needed to change our collective perspective on sex. It’s time to finally inform women and men on how to have satisfying experiences in bed that benefit both parties.
The revolution is cuming—and Becoming Cliterate offers a radical, simple solution to progress and pleasure for all.
50% of 18-35-year-old women say they have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner
64% of women vs 91% of men said they had an orgasm at their last sexual encounter
55% of men vs. 4% of women say they usually reach orgasm during first-time hookup sex
In Becoming Cliterate, psychology professor and human sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz exposes the broader cultural problem that’s perpetuating this gap, and what we can do about it. Pulling together evidence from biology, sociology, linguistics, and sex therapy into one comprehensive, accessible, and prescriptive book, Becoming Cliterate features:
Cultural & historical analysis of female orgasm (spoiler: the problem’s been going on for ages)
An anatomy section (it’s all custom under the hood)
Proven techniques for cliterate sex (it starts with training the sex organ between your ears)
A comprehensive final chapter for men (because you don’t have to have a clitoris to be cliterate)
By dispelling the lies, misunderstandings, and myths that have been holding us back, Becoming Cliterate tackles both personal and political problems and replaces them with updated outlooks and practical skills needed to change our collective perspective on sex. It’s time to finally inform women and men on how to have satisfying experiences in bed that benefit both parties.
The revolution is cuming—and Becoming Cliterate offers a radical, simple solution to progress and pleasure for all.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2017
809 people are currently reading
8224 people want to read
About the author
Laurie Mintz
3 books88 followersLaurie Mintz (Ph.D.) is a tenured college professor at the University of Florida, who teaches the Psychology of Human Sexuality to over 150 students a year. She is also a licensed psychologist with over 25 years of experience working with private clients, on both general and sexual issues. She is the author of two books aimed at empowering women sexually: Becoming Cliterate and A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex. She has also published over 50 research studies, writes a popular Psychology Today blog and has been quoted extensively in Parenting, Cosmopolitan, Prevention, Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, CNN.com, Oprah.com and HuffingtonPost.com. When she's not writing, teaching, or seeing clients, Laurie enjoys walking, yoga, and spending time with family and friends.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 348 reviews
February 29, 2020
This book is a must-have for every person who has a vulva (heck yeah, applying lessons from the book) or would like to help pleasure someone who has one.
Before reading this, I was fairly skeptical. I had the feeling that it would be the type of book 40+ year old housewives read that makes them name their genitalia, speak about it as if it has feelings and suggests group masturbation sessions to everyone they know. Which, isn't bad but is definitely not who I am.
However, this book is so so far from this. Before reading it, I thought my sexual knowledge was, well, average. However, looking at it now, I feel like sex education has cheated me because there's so much that just gets ignored or doesn't get enough attention. The sex education that I remember highlighted the dangers of unsafe sex and talked about all the ways you can suddenly get pregnant. I don't even remember the idea of pleasure being involved, let alone a conversation about the importance of communicating during sex.
I had no idea how many of the ideas that I hold do not reflecting my thoughts or knowledge. Like, despite everything, I've always considered sex = penetration even though I have the knowledge that not all sex includes penetration. It's like there's this dissonance between the factual knowledge that I hold and the way I view things and this book managed to help close that gap.
The author writes so clearly and accessible. She manages to make these topics casual, informative and understandable. It's just so clear and so well written. It's science based yet not heavy, funny yet smart. Really, you do get the feeling like it's a counseling session.
I found myself sitting down and literally re-evaluating every sexual encounter I've ever had. It was enlightening to suddenly reconsider and redefine how I've been thinking about intimacy and sexual encounters. Reading a book that suddenly makes you go, "wow, I've been looking at this the wrong way" is such a powerful and positive experience.
It was fascinating to consider how many myths exist around an action that is so normal, you know? People still think penis size influences their performance or that anyone cares about the appearance of the lips of the vulva. We've failed ourselves when there's so much social pressure that is just false and harmful. This book does much to clean this away. It's so sad to consider how much of sex is still portrayed as shameful, from slut-shaming to the "walk of shame", our culture really doesn't do enough to show the sheer beauty of sexuality and intimacy.
The parts about communication were interesting as well. I mean, I did know and have experienced how important communication before, during and after sex can be but it was great to hear about all these examples and truly see how much of an impact simply saying what you think and want can have.
Mintz talks about the power of language and truly, reading this, I found myself thinking about how the word in Hebrew for clit is embarrassing. It comes from the same word "tickle" and it's just not a word that I would feel comfortable using in my daily life. This really makes me wonder what it's like in other languages and how international and culturally broad is this phenomenon. Totally tempted to ask bilinguals now what's the cultural usage of the word clit.
And speaking of language, my one and only word of criticism toward this book is that it's not queer friendly enough. Sure, the author tries her best to include the idea that sex isn't just man and woman but it's not trans-friendly at all. Just as we need to stop saying vagina when we mean vulva, we need to stop saying women when we mean people with a specific set of genitalia. This idea that women all have vulvas ignores approximately 0.6% of the population that are trans and maybe do not have the genitalia you'd assume.
And yeah, some people might argue that that's minor but when you look at the insane number of trans women that get murdered, this idea becomes insidious. Gender isn't a binary and it's high time we stopped seeing sex as a binary as well. Every time I hear people speak up about this, I immediately think about how I was beginning to date this girl and eventually she goes, "I have to tell you something," and there was actual fear in her eyes as she told me she's trans, literally apologized and assured me that it's okay if that's a deal breaker. We are not doing nearly enough to make the dating and hook-up scene comfortable for queer people and feminist books like this should absolutely talk about this.
Apart from this, I feel like I've learned a lot and am really happy to have read this. When I write reviews, I do think about how everything you write online is permanent and can be seen by everyone (often without your knowledge) but at the same time, yeah, I'm totally going to own the fact that I read a book about orgasms cause I don't need this shame in my life.
What I'm Taking With Me
- Guys do want to make sure their partner enjoys the experience, claiming that they simply care about their own pleasure is unfair and really, the problem is the culture around us and the lack of communication and understanding of the biology.
- Arousal is a state where your body sends more blood to your genitalia without it flowing back. Then, an orgasm is when the blood rushes back. A female and a male orgasm are exactly the same, although the process is external for people with penises (that is, an erection) and internal for people with vulvas.
- Vulvas! Vagina refers only to a part of the vulva and when we use the word vagina, we imply that the entire genitalia is simply the part that gives pleasure to people with penises and that's not right at all.
- Only around 5% of the women manage to experience an orgasm during hook-up sex for the first time. This statistic is so so wild, like that number is tiny.
- The idea of the clit as something that is solely meant for pleasure.
Uni Adventures
- aHH, this coming week is going to be so hard and I have so many hard choices ahead of me which is leading to me panicking which is messing up with my studying.
- In other news, I'm redoing Ethics and seriously, fuck this, I can't believe I need to reread Kant again, haven't I suffered enough?
- This week was just me trying to study, getting distracted, going to a coffee shop, studying really well, missing all of my study goals, and feeling sad.
- I went to another philosophy conference and have reached the conclusion that philosophers are seriously just mean to each other. There's no way around it, we should just go back to Ancient Greece and the agora, things were better there.
- Seeing a grad student from Chicago get brutally attacked by like 3 Israeli philosophy professors was just so sad and he was so visibly upset and yeah okay, his lecture wasn't great and ultimately, I had no idea what he was trying to say but still.
- I've just been listening to Eurovision in the hopes that maybe that will add joy to Econ and it's sad to think that Israel's song choice is just so bad.
- Okay, so we have elections on Monday and as a Politics major, I feel obligated to vote but I also don't feel like any one of the parties deserves my vote, I feel like they're all equally terrible and there's no one, although 40 parties are running.
- It's embarrassingly hard (as Mintz would say, no pun intended) not to think about the game Plague whenever people bring up statistics about Corona.
- Man, can the new semester just start already, I'm so over this?
Before reading this, I was fairly skeptical. I had the feeling that it would be the type of book 40+ year old housewives read that makes them name their genitalia, speak about it as if it has feelings and suggests group masturbation sessions to everyone they know. Which, isn't bad but is definitely not who I am.
However, this book is so so far from this. Before reading it, I thought my sexual knowledge was, well, average. However, looking at it now, I feel like sex education has cheated me because there's so much that just gets ignored or doesn't get enough attention. The sex education that I remember highlighted the dangers of unsafe sex and talked about all the ways you can suddenly get pregnant. I don't even remember the idea of pleasure being involved, let alone a conversation about the importance of communicating during sex.
I had no idea how many of the ideas that I hold do not reflecting my thoughts or knowledge. Like, despite everything, I've always considered sex = penetration even though I have the knowledge that not all sex includes penetration. It's like there's this dissonance between the factual knowledge that I hold and the way I view things and this book managed to help close that gap.
The author writes so clearly and accessible. She manages to make these topics casual, informative and understandable. It's just so clear and so well written. It's science based yet not heavy, funny yet smart. Really, you do get the feeling like it's a counseling session.
I found myself sitting down and literally re-evaluating every sexual encounter I've ever had. It was enlightening to suddenly reconsider and redefine how I've been thinking about intimacy and sexual encounters. Reading a book that suddenly makes you go, "wow, I've been looking at this the wrong way" is such a powerful and positive experience.
It was fascinating to consider how many myths exist around an action that is so normal, you know? People still think penis size influences their performance or that anyone cares about the appearance of the lips of the vulva. We've failed ourselves when there's so much social pressure that is just false and harmful. This book does much to clean this away. It's so sad to consider how much of sex is still portrayed as shameful, from slut-shaming to the "walk of shame", our culture really doesn't do enough to show the sheer beauty of sexuality and intimacy.
The parts about communication were interesting as well. I mean, I did know and have experienced how important communication before, during and after sex can be but it was great to hear about all these examples and truly see how much of an impact simply saying what you think and want can have.
Mintz talks about the power of language and truly, reading this, I found myself thinking about how the word in Hebrew for clit is embarrassing. It comes from the same word "tickle" and it's just not a word that I would feel comfortable using in my daily life. This really makes me wonder what it's like in other languages and how international and culturally broad is this phenomenon. Totally tempted to ask bilinguals now what's the cultural usage of the word clit.
And speaking of language, my one and only word of criticism toward this book is that it's not queer friendly enough. Sure, the author tries her best to include the idea that sex isn't just man and woman but it's not trans-friendly at all. Just as we need to stop saying vagina when we mean vulva, we need to stop saying women when we mean people with a specific set of genitalia. This idea that women all have vulvas ignores approximately 0.6% of the population that are trans and maybe do not have the genitalia you'd assume.
And yeah, some people might argue that that's minor but when you look at the insane number of trans women that get murdered, this idea becomes insidious. Gender isn't a binary and it's high time we stopped seeing sex as a binary as well. Every time I hear people speak up about this, I immediately think about how I was beginning to date this girl and eventually she goes, "I have to tell you something," and there was actual fear in her eyes as she told me she's trans, literally apologized and assured me that it's okay if that's a deal breaker. We are not doing nearly enough to make the dating and hook-up scene comfortable for queer people and feminist books like this should absolutely talk about this.
Apart from this, I feel like I've learned a lot and am really happy to have read this. When I write reviews, I do think about how everything you write online is permanent and can be seen by everyone (often without your knowledge) but at the same time, yeah, I'm totally going to own the fact that I read a book about orgasms cause I don't need this shame in my life.
What I'm Taking With Me
- Guys do want to make sure their partner enjoys the experience, claiming that they simply care about their own pleasure is unfair and really, the problem is the culture around us and the lack of communication and understanding of the biology.
- Arousal is a state where your body sends more blood to your genitalia without it flowing back. Then, an orgasm is when the blood rushes back. A female and a male orgasm are exactly the same, although the process is external for people with penises (that is, an erection) and internal for people with vulvas.
- Vulvas! Vagina refers only to a part of the vulva and when we use the word vagina, we imply that the entire genitalia is simply the part that gives pleasure to people with penises and that's not right at all.
- Only around 5% of the women manage to experience an orgasm during hook-up sex for the first time. This statistic is so so wild, like that number is tiny.
- The idea of the clit as something that is solely meant for pleasure.
Uni Adventures
- aHH, this coming week is going to be so hard and I have so many hard choices ahead of me which is leading to me panicking which is messing up with my studying.
- In other news, I'm redoing Ethics and seriously, fuck this, I can't believe I need to reread Kant again, haven't I suffered enough?
- This week was just me trying to study, getting distracted, going to a coffee shop, studying really well, missing all of my study goals, and feeling sad.
- I went to another philosophy conference and have reached the conclusion that philosophers are seriously just mean to each other. There's no way around it, we should just go back to Ancient Greece and the agora, things were better there.
- Seeing a grad student from Chicago get brutally attacked by like 3 Israeli philosophy professors was just so sad and he was so visibly upset and yeah okay, his lecture wasn't great and ultimately, I had no idea what he was trying to say but still.
- I've just been listening to Eurovision in the hopes that maybe that will add joy to Econ and it's sad to think that Israel's song choice is just so bad.
- Okay, so we have elections on Monday and as a Politics major, I feel obligated to vote but I also don't feel like any one of the parties deserves my vote, I feel like they're all equally terrible and there's no one, although 40 parties are running.
- It's embarrassingly hard (as Mintz would say, no pun intended) not to think about the game Plague whenever people bring up statistics about Corona.
- Man, can the new semester just start already, I'm so over this?
January 13, 2022
Looking for a smart, sassy book about feminism and sexuality and equal-opportunity orgasms? Becoming Cliterate is your gal.
It’s this year’s Come As You Are! With a complete focus on vulvas! This book is set up like a college textbook for female orgasm, with some philosophy and pep talks and then some hands-on experimenting. And a chapter at the end for male partners to read. What more could you need?
From Taking Care of Yourself with Books at Book Riot.
It’s this year’s Come As You Are! With a complete focus on vulvas! This book is set up like a college textbook for female orgasm, with some philosophy and pep talks and then some hands-on experimenting. And a chapter at the end for male partners to read. What more could you need?
From Taking Care of Yourself with Books at Book Riot.
January 17, 2022
EVERYONE needs to read this book.
April 24, 2022
в цілому, через книжку проходить одна (справді важлива) тема - не забувати про клітор і пам’ятати, що він головний у питанні жіночого задоволення. також важливо спілкуватися з партнером та дослухатися до власного тіла, вивчати його.
все це правильно та дійсно допоможе парам різного віку. проте, корисної інформації дуже небагато. стисла інформація найголовнішого, а уся інша книжка наповнена порадами та непотрібними «секс п’єсами», ще і продубльованими два рази.
всю цю книжку можна уявити у вигляді невеличкої, інформаційної глянцевої брошури на сторінок так п’ять, яка несла би ту саму користь, що і ці триста.
все це правильно та дійсно допоможе парам різного віку. проте, корисної інформації дуже небагато. стисла інформація найголовнішого, а уся інша книжка наповнена порадами та непотрібними «секс п’єсами», ще і продубльованими два рази.
всю цю книжку можна уявити у вигляді невеличкої, інформаційної глянцевої брошури на сторінок так п’ять, яка несла би ту саму користь, що і ці триста.
June 13, 2017
Can't go wrong with this book. It's interesting (and annoying) how women's pleasure takes a major backseat to men's, historically. You might learn something, your partner might learn something. One little change for me is that I taught my daughter the word vulva and use it when applicable instead of the anatomically incorrect catchall "vagina." I hope it's the beginning of our open, appropriate, shame-free, body-positive conversations.
June 21, 2022
Every Man and Woman needs to read this book. It is full of knowledge to educate you on a whole different level. It gives the ability to take your lover to new heights and pleasure. I knew a lot about sex prior to reading this book, but I walked away with so much more information to use....💋
July 18, 2022
While the title may not hold universal appeal, I found this book to be a fascinating resource about women’s sexuality. The author is so sincere in her desire to help young women discover and enjoy their bodies. She provides a wealth of information on anatomy and function, including graphs, statistics, and illustrations. I loved that about this book.
On the other hand, I found her language usage to be, well…less than elegant. She has a sense of humor that just doesn’t work for me—even in the title.
Anyhow, the book was an easy read and I seriously thought I should buy copies for my (young adult) daughters.
On the other hand, I found her language usage to be, well…less than elegant. She has a sense of humor that just doesn’t work for me—even in the title.
Anyhow, the book was an easy read and I seriously thought I should buy copies for my (young adult) daughters.
July 14, 2017
This book is an easy, lively read, and offers lots of good information about women's sexuality and especially the clitoris - what it is, how it contributes to arousal and pleasure, and how women can become more adept lovers (and self-lovers). That said, part of Mintz' purpose is to lay to rest the myth that good sex has to involve vaginal penetration, by a penis or anything else. To that end, she minimizes and then dismisses as largely irrelevant information about the g-spot and other loci of arousal and pleasure beyond the clitoris. That strikes me as unfortunate. But, the book has a lot of useful facts and attitudes to share about the clitoris, and I suppose there are plenty of other books out there emphasizing other aspects of women's sexuality. The book includes a special chapter aimed at men; it largely recycles and abridges text from the rest of the book, which is fine, but as a guy, I found it worth reading the whole thing.
December 7, 2020
Для чоловіків тут не так багато порад. Але ті, які є, цілком слушні.
April 17, 2021
Книга предназначена для решения культурной проблемы диспропорции оргазма. Мужчины испытывают оргазм гораздо чаще, чем женщины. Культурно сложилось мнение, что от пенетрации женщина конч��ет так же легко, как и мужчина, когда на самом деле это правда всего лишь для 5% женщин. Подавляющее большинство кончают от прямой или косвенной стимуляции клитора. Стимуляция клитора так же важна, как стимуляция полового члена. Вот главный посыл этой книги. Здесь есть главы, позволяющие изучить свои половые органы, примеры мастурбации, очень много рекомендаций к прочтению и просмотру чтобы узнать себя лучше и избавиться от неверного убеждения когда-то заложенного Фрейдом - что женщина не испытывающая оргазм при пенильно-вагинальном акте - фриги��ная. Это очень пагубно повлияло на равенство оргазмов. Благо, сейчас пишутся такие книги и в массы продвигается культура клитора. Также, мне очень понравилась глава про развитие навыков сексуальной коммуникации и про перенос способов мастурбации в партнёрский секс. Советую её всем девушкам. Абсолютно всем. Жалею, что не прочитала её ещё в самом начале половой жизни. Я потеряла столько оргазмов - не счесть, но зато сколько же их впереди! И всё благодаря Лори Минтц :)
April 5, 2021
«Робіть те, що вам підказують почуття та бажання, не забуваючи подбати про те, щоби добре почуватися наступного дня.»
June 9, 2024
Шкода, коли мені було 20-25 років, навколо був лише російкомовний шлак про 25 лучшіх поз в сексє, настольная камасутра і как удовлєтворіть мужчіну, а не оця корисна річ.
October 20, 2020
Дельная книга про оргазм, с главной мыслью и нужными подробностями. Есть лишние лирические отступления, но основная тема не забыта и раскрыта в полной мере. Можно рекомендовать
October 27, 2017
I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway (and I’m so glad I did). This is a very charming, sex positive and thorough look at the female orgasm that reads like a how to from your friendly local sexpert therapist who also happens to be a highly educated feminist. As a psychotherapist, I so appreciated the additional knowledge and ways of engaging with my clients around orgasm/pleasure/beliefs around what sex “should” be. All around one of the better psychology books I’ve read because I know I can take this material directly into my social justice/integrative work (though you do not have to be a therapist to gain incredible value here). Thanks Dr. Mintz!
January 9, 2022
Yup, I read a book about sex. I almost didn't include it in my Read list,but then I realized I'd be perpetuating the weird shame women have around talking about sexuality.
This book gave a fascinating look at why women are uncomfortable talking about sex, how feminism has changed sexuality, and encourages women to appreciate the uniqueness of their own bodies.
This book gave a fascinating look at why women are uncomfortable talking about sex, how feminism has changed sexuality, and encourages women to appreciate the uniqueness of their own bodies.
October 8, 2017
Highly recommend! I actually got a chance to speak with the author recently. She is as empowering, friendly, and genuine as she comes across in the book. Great down-to-earth advice and education. I will definitely recommend this book to clients and friends.
January 6, 2018
This book was fantastic! If you’re ready to have your entire mindset shifted around your pleasure (ladies, I’m talking to you) and why your orgasms matter (plus, bonuses on how to get there!) then you need to read this gem of a book!
So glad I picked it up! Will be buying for all my friends.
So glad I picked it up! Will be buying for all my friends.
March 10, 2025
«Якісний секс починається з рівності»
Без похабщини про розуміння себе і потреб свого тіла, про рівність оргазмів.
Не без води. Має поєднання і фізіологічних, і психологічних аспектів але з чітким посиланням, що якщо говорити відверто, ротом слова, то на здоровій комунікації..
Цікаві згадки про істерію, перші вібратори, клітосвіту. Рандомні факти про різні дослідження, багато сумної статистики. Загалом корисна інформація, враховуючи хибу сексуальної освіти чи то покоління, чи то суто територіальні. При попаданні в руки в правильному віці - золото золоте
А Фройд гівнюк, «кілер, який завдав останнього удару.. по клітору»
Без похабщини про розуміння себе і потреб свого тіла, про рівність оргазмів.
Не без води. Має поєднання і фізіологічних, і психологічних аспектів але з чітким посиланням, що якщо говорити відверто, ротом слова, то на здоровій комунікації..
Цікаві згадки про істерію, перші вібратори, клітосвіту. Рандомні факти про різні дослідження, багато сумної статистики. Загалом корисна інформація, враховуючи хибу сексуальної освіти чи то покоління, чи то суто територіальні. При попаданні в руки в правильному віці - золото золоте
А Фройд гівнюк, «кілер, який завдав останнього удару.. по клітору»
June 7, 2023
Дуже важлива книжка, на яку треба написати огляд. Але поки що я лежу на дні 😅 Хіба зо можу сказати, зо щиро рекомендую.
August 15, 2024
Нє трахан, нє целован, нє впєчатльон.
Ну от дуже багато понтів. Дуже. Дуже багато розповідей про те, яка авторка крута, про те, яка клітосвіта хороша, але мені книга здалася не інформативною. Я не кажу, що вона взагалі не інформативна, просто для мене майже нічого з того, що тут розповідали, не було новим. Загалом для знайомства з клітором та жіночим задоволенням книга хороша. Моя проблема в тому, що я з ним уже знайома. Доволі empowering в контексті того, що кожен заслуговує на оргазм.
The author is edging the reader. "Зараз ви будете читати про те, як кінчати!/Зараз ви дізнаєтеся, як досягнути цервікального оргазму!". Дуже багато відступів про досвід автора та преференції автора, і це мене абсолютно не цікавить. Ім'я давати клітору теж не хочу.
Добре, що комунікації присвячений цілий розділ, бо ТРЕБА СЛОВАМИ ЧЕРЕЗ РОТІК!!!!!:)))) У мене це тригерна тема, і я була рада бачити, що в книзі зачіпають метакомунікацію — комунікацію про комунікацію, типу "я боюся це сказати, бо я відчуваю, наче ти розізлишся на мене, ти розчаруєшся в мені, тобі це не важливо" і т.д. Про комунікацію необхідно говорити, особливо з людьми, які для тебе важливі.
Розділ клітосвіти для чоловіків просто коротко викладає книгу з незначними уточненнями та додатковою інформацією, але це теж не революційні дані.
Можливо, книга допоможе більше психологічно, ніж практично, додавши гордости за клітор та сміливости звертати на нього свою мимовільну, довільну та післядовільну увагу. Я б поставила 2 зірочки, але це мої суб'єктивні зірочки, і я не вважаю, що це оцінка, яка має грати роль в об'єктивному оцінюванні цієї книги.
Ну от дуже багато понтів. Дуже. Дуже багато розповідей про те, яка авторка крута, про те, яка клітосвіта хороша, але мені книга здалася не інформативною. Я не кажу, що вона взагалі не інформативна, просто для мене майже нічого з того, що тут розповідали, не було новим. Загалом для знайомства з клітором та жіночим задоволенням книга хороша. Моя проблема в тому, що я з ним уже знайома. Доволі empowering в контексті того, що кожен заслуговує на оргазм.
The author is edging the reader. "Зараз ви будете читати про те, як кінчати!/Зараз ви дізнаєтеся, як досягнути цервікального оргазму!". Дуже багато відступів про досвід автора та преференції автора, і це мене абсолютно не цікавить. Ім'я давати клітору теж не хочу.
Добре, що комунікації присвячений цілий розділ, бо ТРЕБА СЛОВАМИ ЧЕРЕЗ РОТІК!!!!!:)))) У мене це тригерна тема, і я була рада бачити, що в книзі зачіпають метакомунікацію — комунікацію про комунікацію, типу "я боюся це сказати, бо я відчуваю, наче ти розізлишся на мене, ти розчаруєшся в мені, тобі це не важливо" і т.д. Про комунікацію необхідно говорити, особливо з людьми, які для тебе важливі.
Розділ клітосвіти для чоловіків просто коротко викладає книгу з незначними уточненнями та додатковою інформацією, але це теж не революційні дані.
Можливо, книга допоможе більше психологічно, ніж практично, додавши гордости за клітор та сміливости звертати на нього свою мимовільну, довільну та післядовільну увагу. Я б поставила 2 зірочки, але це мої суб'єктивні зірочки, і я не вважаю, що це оцінка, яка має грати роль в об'єктивному оцінюванні цієї книги.
December 16, 2021
Почну з назви. Загалом переклад книги доволі хороший, але переклад назви, як на мене, невдалий. Оригінал звучить більш вишукано і точніше відповідає ідеї книги "Becoming cliterate. Why Orgasm Equality Matters - And How to Get It" (cliterate - clitoral +literacy, клітосвічений). Власне книга про рівність між чоловіками і жінками в отриманні сексуального задоволення і культурну проблему, яка була створена нереалістичним зображенням сексу у кіно. На противагу, українська назва якась войовнича, хоча Лорі Мінц пояснює все досить м'яко (не з позиції "ми - сильні і незалежні, маємо право на оргазм", а з позиції, що це якісно покращить сексуальне життя обох партнерів.
Думаю, не помилюсь, якщо скажу, що більшість (принаймні міленіали) формували своє уявлення про секс на основі фільмів (в т.ч. порнофільмів), де жінки нібито отримують яскраві оргазми від пенетрації. Це великий міф. Лише дуже незначна кількість жінок може отримати оргазм від пенетрації, а понад 90% жінкам для цього потрібна стимуляція клітора. Нереалістичні образи стосуються також розміру і вигляду геніталій, тривалості статевого акту і.т.д.
Тобто в книзі описані дуже базові речі, але з огляду на плачевний рівень секс-освіти це прямо скарб на папері.
І що мені дуже сподобалось, тут також багато про прийняття себе і любов до себе, тому я б щиро хотіла, щоб книгу прочитало якомога більше жінок і дівчат-підлітків, які починають статеве життя.
Думаю, не помилюсь, якщо скажу, що більшість (принаймні міленіали) формували своє уявлення про секс на основі фільмів (в т.ч. порнофільмів), де жінки нібито отримують яскраві оргазми від пенетрації. Це великий міф. Лише дуже незначна кількість жінок може отримати оргазм від пенетрації, а понад 90% жінкам для цього потрібна стимуляція клітора. Нереалістичні образи стосуються також розміру і вигляду геніталій, тривалості статевого акту і.т.д.
Тобто в книзі описані дуже базові речі, але з огляду на плачевний рівень секс-освіти це прямо скарб на папері.
І що мені дуже сподобалось, тут також багато про прийняття себе і любов до себе, тому я б щиро хотіла, щоб книгу прочитало якомога більше жінок і дівчат-підлітків, які починають статеве життя.
April 9, 2022
I’m cliterate now! If you still think that penetration of penis inside vagina is called sex; this book is for you.
For so many generations female pleasure has been discouraged and ignored. As a result in most heterosexual relationship there is an inequality in receiving pleasure. 90% of woman don’t orgasm via penetration alone! Which means that most penetrative sex has been giving pleasure only to men. It’s not a surprise considering females have always been given a backseat for generations. But times can change, and this book is a start. Anyone can be cliterate, people don’t really need to have clit to be cliterate. If you really want to pleasure your female partner or if you’re a female who wants to enjoy sex and orgasm, the answer is the clit! Say it proud!
Dr. Laurie mintz has made this such a fun read full or puns that it is hard not to enjoy. It opened my eyes in terms of what society considers as sex. And all my concerns were validated. I’m really glad she made it a point to make the book keeping both male and female readers in mind. Because it’s high time everyone learns this since sex education everywhere stops at “not getting pregnant and stds”.
For so many generations female pleasure has been discouraged and ignored. As a result in most heterosexual relationship there is an inequality in receiving pleasure. 90% of woman don’t orgasm via penetration alone! Which means that most penetrative sex has been giving pleasure only to men. It’s not a surprise considering females have always been given a backseat for generations. But times can change, and this book is a start. Anyone can be cliterate, people don’t really need to have clit to be cliterate. If you really want to pleasure your female partner or if you’re a female who wants to enjoy sex and orgasm, the answer is the clit! Say it proud!
Dr. Laurie mintz has made this such a fun read full or puns that it is hard not to enjoy. It opened my eyes in terms of what society considers as sex. And all my concerns were validated. I’m really glad she made it a point to make the book keeping both male and female readers in mind. Because it’s high time everyone learns this since sex education everywhere stops at “not getting pregnant and stds”.
August 6, 2017
"Becoming Cliterate" by Dr Laurie Mintz is an amazing book for anyone who wants to learn about female sexuality and specifically the clitoris, the one human organ solely responsible for pleasure. According to research, only 5% of women achieve orgasms through penetration only, an overwhelming 95% need some form of clitorial stimulation. Yet we as a society almost never talk about the clitoris, men who learn about sex through porn think thay penetration is all a woman needs to orgasm. So in turn women orgam way less than men and actually feel pressured to fake orgasms and it's not ok! This book debunks alot of sex myths with research and it teaches everyone how to become aware and more Cliterate, and how to enjoy our own bodies and those of others. It's a must read. We need a sexual satisfaction revolution for women!
June 21, 2017
I'm not sure what I expected Becoming Cliterate to be when I started reading, but it isn't what it was, which was a smart, funny look at the female orgasm. The author did an excellent job of presenting the information in a way that wasn't too clinical. She added sass and humor when needed to keep the reader engaged, but covered the female body and the science of how and why orgasms work--complete with a chapter for the male partner.
Full Disclosure: I was invited by the publisher to read this title in exchange for my honest and unbiased review. I received no monetary compensation, and all comments are subjective and mine alone.
Full Disclosure: I was invited by the publisher to read this title in exchange for my honest and unbiased review. I received no monetary compensation, and all comments are subjective and mine alone.
August 2, 2017
Some good information in this book. For the most part, there wasn't much that was new to me. Cementing biological knowledge mostly. However, that being said, if one knows nothing about the clit or isn't sure how to communicate with a potential partner, this book would be a valuable resource. I know people who would probably benefit from reading this. I very much appreciate Mintz's desire to change the cultural dialogue regarding sex, the clit, women's orgasms, intercourse, how society refers to our genitalia. So it's most certainly a book that is needed.
October 1, 2017
If you have had an orgasm, have not had an orgasm, care about having or giving orgasms.....this is probably on a must-read list for you. Laurie Mintz does an excellent job of dispelling the myth of how orgasms occur, why porn and movies have perpetuated this myth and totally ruined it for women, and how to ........the list goes on and on. Easy to read style that is just the right amount of girl talk and science. And yes..there is a chapter for men to read to. :)
August 31, 2023
As a man, I probably should've read only the last chapter. Nevertheless, it gave me good pointers and understanding into women's POV in sex.
This book is much more than just an anatomy lesson, it covers many cultural, social and linguistic biases that we unconsciously carry and bring to our relationships. The author not only points these myths but even gives suggestions to dispel them.
The book's pace is great and contains many resources to further read on particular topics.
This book is much more than just an anatomy lesson, it covers many cultural, social and linguistic biases that we unconsciously carry and bring to our relationships. The author not only points these myths but even gives suggestions to dispel them.
The book's pace is great and contains many resources to further read on particular topics.
August 20, 2019
I get the writing style is supposed to be conversational to make it easier to read, but I found it annoying. The book was also longer than needed. The basic point is this: whichever you have, dick or clit stimulation is where orgasms most often come from. So typical penis-in-vagina sex doesn't cut it for most people with clits.
Saved you a read.
Saved you a read.
January 20, 2018
This is so important. Everyone that has a cookie or loves someone with a cookie needs this book.🌷
love. love. love.
love. love. love.
April 12, 2021
Дуже важлива книга для сексуальної освіти, але трохи затягнута.
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