Getting through this book was absolute torture. This writer proofs that having completed a doctor's degree in psychology, don't necessarily provide insight. Unfortunately she 'murdered' this book with her comments. What could have been an excellent book, and started out as 5 star, quickly plummeted to one star only.
I found the South African law, case studies as well as history from eg. the Victorian era, informative and enjoyable.
I have to question however whether the writer has been in a abusive relationship and had the courage to leave, which I will gladly applaud her for if that was the case. Still, being a psychologist, she should be aware that no two people are the same, no situation is exactly alike, all people doesn't have a support network, IQ differs as well as EQ, which I feel the writer lacks in this book as well.
In the case of not having been in an abusive relationship before, it is easy to judge, and sit and throw peanuts from the side.
On page 25 for instance, 'They should leave before they find themselves in a situation where they are forced to resort to killing.' That is so easy to say.
On page 26, 'They offer other excuses -they have no skills, do not earn enough money, cannot provide for their children. But millions off other women are able to divorce their husbands and support themselves and their children.' This is actually giving me chills running down my spine... Then I can argue a totally absurd and downright stupid argument that if certain men can be billionaires, so could all the others?
Do the writer have the slightest idea of the statistics of South Africa and how many people are jobless and looking for jobs? So if one woman can do it, so can someone without matric, battered, no self esteem, no decent clothes, no family or support network, stay at home mom with no work experience the past 10 years and 3 small children that needs care. I mean, come on woman, lift your lazy butt, colour that bruised face en get on with it while the abuser is searching to kill you. Just don't breath to deep with that broken ribs and internal scars. At least you have a piece of paper in your hand to keep him away from you...
And so the book continues, with a lot of questions asked in comments to either fill the book or proof ignorance. Arguments that just don't make any sense at all. Maybe, being part of the police service put everything in black and white, right or wrong, no empathy, no understanding.
Speaking under correction on specific dates, but I am not going to search for the page now, but asking why a farm worker didn't go to the police(I think it was the 80's) to report a possibility of a murder that might take place. Picture it, farm worker, farm clothes, worn out vellies, hat folded in his hand, dirty of farm work, walking into the police station during the apartheid era to report a possible murder that he heard about via the grapevine? I think not.
The end of the book feels rushed, page 279 to 288 filled with facts and ends of with only one case study for all of it.
If you decided to read the book, and doesn't want to be utterly frustrated, I suggest you skip the comments, but not even that will safeguard you. It could have been an amazing book, especially if the writer kept her remarks for herself, added cases for the facts at the end of the book and maybe add some more photos.
The writer should have left, divorced, ran away, before her murderous comments.