Stories to Read While Driving: Kill the King and Other Tales

by Jim Heskett

If the cabbage man doesn't arrive soon, another meal will slip by and the king will still be allowed to exude foul breath from his lips. While the pastry chef and the royal food taster plot in the kitchen, the butcher keeps a close eye on their plans. And don’t forget the sausage-lipped prime minister… he’s got a secret buried in that mustache, no doubt about that.

Thus is the thrilling quagmire of regicide and culinary espionage of Kill the King. Read on for this darkly comic tale and eight others, if you dare...

You'll find a mix of suspenseful action-packed short stories such as:

the tale of an assassin out to kill his target: his former high school rival.


Or quirky and funny stories:

the tale of three washed-up and mostly-useless superheroes trying to save the life of a choking man at a deli.


And tales of the absurd:

the debut author whose great literary work becomes something horrible by a reality TV-loving focus group.

Genres: Fiction, Short Stories, Anthologies

Unknown Binding

First published December 18, 2014

About the author

Jim Heskett is a writer of short and long fiction, currently slaving away at a laptop in an undisclosed location in Broomfield, Colorado. Details about previous and future publications can be found at www.jimheskett.com

Reviews

[Traci Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jim Heskett has a talent for creating quirky, but believable, characters and dialogue. His plotlines run true to his vision of the world. Nothing and nobody can be easily categorized, analyzed, or predicted. He takes situations we hear about daily and adds his own twist.

In this set of short stories, the author explores the more comic side of misdirected phone calls, pompous people, and annoying co-workers. He also investigates a slightly more serious side of political maneuverings in a repressed country, teen popularity, and misplaced trust.

The thought-provoking questions at the end of each story bump the reader onto an even higher level of humor and analysis. A nice fit for anyone who’s willing to think outside the box.

[Shaheen Darr · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read books by Jim Heskett before so I had no hesitation in downloading this book. Also judging by the quirky title, I knew I would not be disappointed. Jim Heskett explores a range of different scenarios in this collection of short stories. A combination of unexpected twists and a unique and witty writing style help retain interest throughout. A perfect companion for days when you want to read something fun and entertaining, you wont be disappointed!

[Sandra Kerns · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't tell you how much fun this book was to read. I know, it's short stories, but I just kept turning pages because they were either too funny or too thought provoking. I loved the questions he offers at the end. They make the stories live on as you consider possible answers. You won't be disappointed when you pick this book up. Jim Heskett has a real gift for telling tales.

[Les · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a collection of short stories that I am sad to admit are rather forgettable, I really can only recall the first one in the book with any level of detail. But the stories are dark, humorous, twisty and followed up with the most insane 'Book questions' ever.

[Traci Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was intrigued from the beginning. I have never heard of a book narrated by a royal taster before. This unique perspective enabled the reader to see events through the eyes of a regular person. The narrator wasn’t a disembodied, silent observer. He was a dynamic part of the story.

The descriptions were flawlessly executed. For example, the reader could easily taste the food in his own mind. The appearance and emotions of the characters jumped off the page as well.

The story was suspenseful. I wondered how, or if, the main characters were going to accomplish their goal. What were the roadblocks going to be? Despite the anticipation, the ending was unexpected. My jaw probably dropped as I was reading it.

The entire tale was a sort of fictional expose of relationships in modern authoritarian regimes. I found the motivations, speech, and actions of the characters to be believable. A cast of selfish, egotistical, and desperate individuals acted as expected.

I would recommend the book to any students of human nature. The book would also interest fans of light fiction of any genre.

My only concern was that there are two blank pages in the manuscript.

[Mike]

Review copy provided by the author.

There's a nice wry humour in this occasionally grim novella about the King's official food taster, a man who's also part of a conspiracy to kill the king. Heskett builds up the tension well, and in the short time he allows himself, describes a small world where everything revolves around the whim of a particularly unpleasant king, a man unaware of everyone else's dislike of him, from family members to foreign visitors, but also extremely concerned that no one poisons him. It turns out that's the least of his troubles.
The world includes CIA-type security guards, extravagant meals, a palace bereft of its former treasures, and a bunch of servants living in fear of their lives.
It's a quick read, but one that holds your attention from beginning to end.

[Patient Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. "Quirky" is one of my favorite things, and this was quirky from start to finish. I didn't read the book description until I finished the book, so my only clue was the delightfully strange title. The last book I read was Stephen King's Bazaar of Bad Dreams, and this collection had a similar feel (without the supernatural elements). With each new story, I had no idea where it would go, and sometimes I didn't find out until the zinger at the end. (I'm a big fan of the zinger at the end.) The writing was slick, clean, and sophisticated.

My favorites were Observation A14 (I loved the subtlety with which the punchline was delivered), The Melancholy of Darby James, Sword Hands Vs. Shoulder Guns, I Go by Tim, and Kill the King. All had endings I didn't see coming, and the plots were clever. The characterization was superb for such short stories.

Perhaps my favorite thing about the book (other than the fantastic title) were the "discussion questions" at the end of each story, icing the satire cake.

Excellent book. I look forward to reading others.

[William Coon · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be totally transparent, I read this book because I am the narrator for the upcoming audiobook version. But I have to say that I honestly and thoroughly enjoyed the collection. On his deathbed, the Shakespearean stage actor Edmund Kean allegedly said "dying is easy; comedy is hard," but Jim makes comedy look easy. His sly humor, relatable characters, and inventive plots make each story engaging and entertaining. It was the literary equivalent of eating a box of fine chocolates, with none of the calories.

[Pandora Spocks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having previously read some of Jim Heskett's work, I was intrigued to read Stories to Read While Driving. It's a collection of nine short stories that run the gamut of moods from odd and quirky satire to equally odd satirical dystopian drama. I particularly giggled at the story Contraband, because truthfully speaking, who among us hasn't been there? In this book, the author treats us to nine distinct tales that leave the reader wondering what will happen next. I highly recommend this book.

[S. Yates · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fast paced, well plotted with a twist at the end. I especially enjoyed how the little details made me questioning, in my mind, my preconceived image of a typical fairy tale setting as it is normally connected to things like kings and food tasters. A great story that I will read many times over in the years to come, mainly because the author is a true wordsmith.

[Douglas Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well done riveting tale that keeps the reader engaged from start to finish. Heskett's phrasing is cunning and darkly charming as he weaves a short suspense that's humorous and satisfying.

[Adam Mahler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh em gee

This has me in stitches. I didn't know about the fun at the end of the stories so it had me giggling the whole book.

[Jim Buschmeier · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrible
So bad I could not finish it. I rarely quit on any book.

[Steff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jim Heskett is an amazing author! This book won’t disappoint. He has a way of pulling you into every story and you absolutely will not be able to put the book down until you have read every page.

[Serena]

I read I Go By Tim through the author's newsletter and loved it, now I need to read the entire book.

I Go By Tim ****

My Rating System:
* couldn't finish, ** wouldn't recommend, *** would recommend, **** would read again, ***** have read again.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

With the title of this book being as amusing as it is, I really expected to like this.

My first disappointment was at the long, overly descriptive characterizations of each character. After our introduction, most of our protagonists have either a dragged out pompous conversation or overly long stream of consciousness. After having these overly long discussions (or thoughts) the story quickly reaches its (usually very obvious) climax and for the most part, abruptly ends thereafter. But the 'amusement' doesn't end there. There are silly questions after each story. Not my idea of funny. I think it was supposed to be? If it's not... then I don't even know where to go with this.

To sum things up, I personally didn't care for the style of writing or humor but I can certainly see it being funny to many other readers and listeners. After all, humor is subjective. I would recommend checking out the sample if you are considering purchase.

I enjoyed the narrator and would certainly like to listen to more of his narrations.As for the author...I am curious to see how his novel-length stories fare for me. I have a feeling that I would like those better than the short stories.

I was provided this audiobook at no charge by the writer, publisher or narrator in exchange for an unbiased review.

[Julieta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Le bajé el raiting de 5 a 4 estrellas porque al ponerle puntaje a cada historia por separado y luego hacer el promedio me dio 4.2. Mis puntajes para cada historia son:
*Being Gary Wingo; 5 estrellas,
*Observation A14: 4 estrellas,
*Damn you, Bobby Finch: 4.5 estrellas,
*The great proteini: 3 estrellas,
*The melancholy of Darby James: 5 estrellas,
*Sword hands vs shoulder guns: 5 estrellas,
*Contraband: 4 estrellas,
*I go by Tim: 4 estrellas,
*Kill the king: 3.5 estrellas.

Las siete primeras historias son graciosas y las dos ultimas son más serias. Como ven casi todas las siete primeras me encantaron, me parecieron muy graciosas, muy divertidas. Son historias para reírse un rato y la verdad que tuvieron éxito. El estilo de escritura del autor me gustó, es muy fácil de leer y hace reír. Las dos últimas en mi opinión son muy parecidas. No me gustaron tanto como las primeras pero no me aburrieron. La última me resulto más densa y larga (comparada con las demás).
Algo interesante sobre este libro es que al final de cada historia tiene una serie de preguntas como para reflexionar sobre lo leído, a veces mas serias que otras, algo que me parece original.
En general me gustó mucho el libro, es muy entretenido. Definitivamente voy a leer más libros del auto ya que me gusta mucho cómo escribe.

[Veronica Robbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a charming story told from a unique point of view, that of a royal food taster. In the beginning I thought I was reading something written like a fairy tale, but it soon became clear that it was a very modern monarchy. The author's use of language to create the detail of this one-of-a-kind modern fairy tale kingdom was brilliant! Descriptions of modern security guards, similar to Secret Service agents, blended seamlessly with images reminiscent of childhood fairly tales (the cabbage man, the king's obsequious entourage, etc.) to form something truly unique.

It didn't take me long to agree that the power-obsessed, narcissistic king needed to die, for reasons not nearly as noble as those of the royal food taster. I wasn't prepared, though, for all of the twists and turns. Each was as unexpected as perfectly plausible.

This story is a quick and delightful read. I highly recommend it. The language was so delicious that I read it twice!

At the end of the book is an added bonus of another short story, I Go By Tim. This one was also very well-written with an unexpected twist at the end.

[Valerie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an odd little book that doesn’t conform to any definition. It has an air of fairy tale about it, but then there are security men talking into their wrists and people wearing casual attire. The character of the king could be a metaphor for any number of dictators - he’s basically just evil and arbitrary and gluttonous, so maybe he’s supposed to represent all that’s bad in politics. You’re left to draw your own conclusions. The story is simply told without much embellishment. It follows a straight course from beginning to end without giving much analysis of the protagonist. Again, you’re left to draw your own conclusions about his character and how he feels about his plan.

I didn’t engage emotionally with the story - the descriptions are a little too detached and the characters didn’t interest me much. However, the author definitely has talent, and this is a fun little diversion, well paced and plotted. The author provided a review copy, and I will happily read his work because I was very impressed with his stories in his book Abandoned.

[Fionna Guillaume · Rating 5 out of 5]

You should not read these stories while driving, because you'll crash your car. Seriously; they are so good you lose track of everything and just have to keep turning those pages! I almost missed a couple bus stops thanks to Mr. Heskett.

I honestly can't think of a better book for any bus-or-vanpool commuter. The stories are short, hilarious, and engaging. You can finish one in a typical commute time, which leaves time to enjoy the amusing tongue-in-cheek "Reader's Guide" questions at the end of each. As for the stories, they are diverse and expertly crafted. Examples of the best you can find in the genre; not a word wasted, and stories told clean, without fluff, and superbly well.

A common theme I noticed throughout was people caving in, failing, changing at the last minute - or not. Their reasons vary, but every time something is revealed. Can we actually succeed through failing? Does our failure say more about us than our success? I honestly don't know, but it sure was fun to watch each character on their short-but-satisfying journeys.

[Stephanie Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've said it before, I'll say it again; I love Jim Heskett's writing. Short story, long story - it makes no difference; he's just great fun to read. I wouldn't necessarily say I DISAGREE with his suggestion to read this book while driving; I would just ALSO strongly suggest it for reading clubs. I've never made that recommendation before, but the idea of sitting around and taking off with the conversations these stories ignite would be a kick! I was laughing out loud (like, rolling laughter; the kind where you have tears running down your cheeks and your stomach hurts because you haven't been doing nearly enough core exercises and your kids are looking at you, then looking at each other and shrugging), specifically when reading "Damn You, Bobby Finch" and "The Great Proteini". Even if a story, itself, didn't have me completely in stiches, the discussion questions totally cracked me up. Absolutely loved it; 'nuff said!

[W.O. Cassity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heskett has offered a compilation of enriching short stories that delve into the exploration of the behavior of human intricacies. He provides vividly descriptive scenes with well-developed characters involved in unique everyday plot scenarios often delivered with a subtle hint of humor, plunging the reader into contemplative reflection. I would highly recommend this offering for a reader who has been rendered into a stationary position because it will require your full attention, in spite of the offering's title suggestion to be read while driving, of which I'm certain would definitively take away from the author's noteworthy delivery (and probably would be considered unsafe as well).

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a strange, yet compelling collection of short stories. The longest story centered around a plot to kill a very unpopular king. Although they were a bit odd at times, I found myself intrigued by these stories; they were engaging and kept my interest well. The author chose to include discussion questions at the end of each story, but I did not find these questions helpful or useful. If you like short stories, these are a fun and interesting way to spend an afternoon.

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this novel in exchange for my honest review

[Amelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could not put this down

Wow all the stories were really good I had a hard time putting this down which is kind of a bad thing as I started this right before work. All we're hilarious or maybe I just have a weird sense of humor.
My favorite one was about an author trying to publish her book. If writing focus groups are like the ones in this story I see where lots of bad books come from.
The focus questions at the end were some of the best I've read and really tied the piece together.

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title is pretty indicative of the short stories to be found inside. Semi-normal situations (though I guess most wouldn't be taste testers for the reigning monarch, but still) with a twist thrown in for fun. All fairly enjoyable. The discussion questions at the end of each story make it all worthwhile.

Regardless of the title, though, you probably shouldn't read these while driving. Unless it's like a heads-up display in one of those self-driving cars that won't kill you to save a butterfly. Then, sure, read while driving.

Good stuff. Recommended.

[Aditi Chopra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Right from the title of this collection to beginning of each story, this book hooks you in and keeps you interested. There are so many intriguing and unique stories to read in this collection. I had fun reading all of them and it is really difficult to choose a favorite. Jim Heskett is a gifted author and these stories are truly fun to read with a distinct touch of humor and reality that strikes a chord. Highly recommend!

[Nanette M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jim Heskett’s engaging collection of short stories explore humanity in an interesting (and often humorous) way that should appeal to all readers. I had planned to read one story a day, but ended up devouring this entire collection in one sitting. The characters are rich and the storytelling fresh. As a reader, I quickly lost myself in each new world that Heskett created. Definitely two thumbs up on this collection

[Petra · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like stories filled with dark humour and subtle satire, this collection is for you. Edgy, modern and cleverly written, the author explores a range of scenarios and settings. It is very much about questioning, considering, chewing over questions from the big to the small. The style is fresh and witty, and the mood urban, sort of bleak, questioning...

[Steve Goldberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This concise collection of stories was consistently hilarious and witty and even touching at times. The framework of adding "discussion questions" at the end of each story really worked and gave it all a wink of added absurdity. This is my kind of humor. I read this concurrently with the latest Jesse Eisenberg collection, Bream Gives Me Hiccups, and I liked this more. Though I recommend both!

[Lisa Decaire · Rating 5 out of 5]

quite funny and ironic at times. Lots of suspense and twists along the way. Highly recommended.