Unhealthy Helping: A Psychological Guide to Overcoming Codependence, Enabling, and Other Dysfunctional Giving

by Shawn Meghan Burn

Helping and giving are good. It’s just that some types of helping and giving are unintentionally unhelpful and unhealthy. Unhealthy A Psychological Guide to Overcoming Codependence, Enabling, and Other Dysfunctional Giving demystifies codependence and dysfunctional helping and giving by examining it through multiple psychological lenses. The book contains theory-and-research based answers for people who help and give in ways that are ultimately harmful to themselves or others. Loaded with research and real-life stories, including the author’s journey from unhealthy to healthy giver, Unhealthy Helping empowers people with psychological knowledge, self-assessments, and practical psychology-based strategies for personal and relationship change. Psychology professor and Psychology Today blogger Shawn Meghan Burn explores the dynamics of codependent and dysfunctional helping relationships, the difference between healthy and unhealthy helping, why some people are prone to unhealthy helping and giving, what codependence is and where it comes from, and how even the best of helping intentions can go wrong. Everyone faces helping and giving challenges. Unhealthy Helping will help you find that giving and helping sweet spot where your help is truly helpful and your giving is healthy for others, your relationships, and for you.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help

202 pages, Paperback

First published July 10, 2015

About the author

Shawn Meghan Burn, PhD is Professor of Psychology at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo, California. Her research and writing focuses on the application of psychology to solve individual, group, organizational, and societal problems. She is a passionate teacher of psychology, committed to showing people how they can use psychology to solve problems and maximize human potential. She is the author of four books and many research articles and writes a blog (Presence of Mind) for Psychology Today.

Reviews

[Brittany Burgunder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unhealthy Helping by Dr. Burn is a gift of a book for just about any person, family or relationship, as there is some dysfunction in us all, and thankfully ways we can all become better. When I first started reading, I had no idea just how much of an impact this book would leave on me, and just how much I would be referring back to it as a guide in my continued growth in my life. I realized quickly how much I identified with being an unhealthy helper and how often I give to others that not only hurts me, but also enables them to not get better. Dr. Burn’s book was like talking to a therapist; it thoroughly explained why different people get caught in unhealthy helping patterns and it provided so much insight into my own personal situation, both past and present, which empowered me. This is a fully interactive book with questions, rating scales to identify areas you need to work on and many resources. What truly makes this book so valuable is that it provides solid, sound, helpful solutions backed up by research to overcoming your unhealthy helping ways. For every type of negative situation in which you may find yourself, this book provides positive ways to counter and change the situation. It also provides excellent examples, so you can get good ideas of what healthy statements sound like. This book highlights real-life stories throughout, which are very helpful and relatable. After reading this book, I feel much more confident in myself and in the tools I now have. This is a must read book for anyone looking to improve their lives and help loved ones.

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Unhealthy Helping" by Shawn Meghan Burn, PhD is a good resource tool for someone who is looking to break the cycle of unhealthy helping and giving. To help to change the behavior of dysfunctional giving, the author looks at the "emotional reasoning" gender or cultural factors that may be involved in the giving. The author provides specific methods to establish healthy boundaries and how to deal with the ambivalence that may come with newly set boundaries.

[Jasmine Herrera · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fruitful start of convo

The writing seemed not to flow. Small insights throughout the book. It's a good starting place. I wouldn't recommend to use with clients and definitely helpful in a beginner's understanding of unhealthy helping and giving.

[Sue Lyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good introduction to the field of codependency written for the lay reader.

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF

[Michelle Beese · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good information about how to reccognize the problem of unhealthy helping and good strategies on how to over come the problem.

[Bev]

Found this book quite enlightening and helpful