I Know What You Are: The true story of a lonely little girl abused by those she trusted most

by Taylor Edison, Jane Smith

The moving true story of a little girl with Asperger syndrome, controlled and abused by the one person she called her friend. Taylor had always struggled to make friends – she felt ‘different’. Taylor never knew her father and her mother wasn’t around much. She just didn’t understand people, and was alone and scared most of the time. That was until, aged just 11, an older married man called Tom befriended her. She loved having someone who would talk to her, listen to her, a protector. But when he moved away a few months later she was easy prey to the gang of drug dealers and petty criminals who groomed and abused her, using her as a form of currency to appease their debtors and amuse their friends. Increasingly isolated and desperate, it began to look as though the pattern of Taylor's life had been set – until she started to fight back, determined to build a safe future for herself, however long it took.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography, Autistic Spectrum Disorder

304 pages, Paperback

First published February 9, 2017

Reviews

[Amy Bruestle · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is hard to rate an autobiography...how can you rate someone’s experience?? You can’t.

First, let me say, I absolutely admire Taylor for putting herself out there and writing this book to tell her story. She is incredibly brave! My rating in no way reflects what she went through and endured. It is simply in relation to her writing, and her writing alone.

I don’t really know what to say to explain why I gave this 3 stars, other than how I just “felt” like it was 3-star worthy. It is hard to rate because the story is true, so you can’t use the author’s basis for plot or lots of other things to rate it like with other books. But given the experience that she went through, I feel as though this book could’ve been written in a way that came across much more powerful and a little less juvenile. It almost seemed at times like she was questioning her own writing...but that’s just my own opinion. I also think more could be added for the conclusion and the way the story is wrapped up.

I don’t know if that made any sense at all...it made sense in my head, but now that I am looking at the words on the screen, I’m not so sure. Oh well, I tried.

[Marieke · Rating 2 out of 5]

I do want to say: "Thank you Taylor for sharing your story. Incredibly brave of you."

Unfortunately I found this book difficult to read. Not because of the language, but the constant repeating.

[Selina Litt · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book doesn’t hold back on the descriptions and it’s really important that this kind of story is out there. However, as a story it was disjointed in places.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who abuses a child, in my humble opinion, deserves a fate much worse than death. But to willing abuse a child who has any type of needs is even lower than low. How could the number of men who hurt this girl and used her not even once realize that she couldn't grasp everything that was happening to her. Unfortunately though that is the nature of the pedophile, not sympathy for those they see as a toy. It is despicable to me. But yet I have to say that the mother is even more despicable! How you can let your child knowingly be abused and be OK with it is beyond anything I can comprehend! I realize the mother had issues of her own and a history we will never know, but it sickens me that there had to be some level of guilt you have to feel to allow it continue and not step in. I don't even grasp how many red flags there had to be for Taylor at school, when she was arrested, and when social workers came by and never cared to look at them or second guess what they were being told! Even neighbors had to realize something wasn't right. How do you not keep fighting for a child who is subjected to things you even think could be happening. I applaud Taylor for being able to survive all she has and want to do better by her own child! My son has Aspergers and I have fought for him everyday I've ever needed to and I days I haven't. The struggles they go through trying to navigate a world they can't fully understand, yet comes at the like speed of a jet plane s hard enough. Our job as family, friends, and as a community should always be one of support and love. These kids feel so much more than your "average" child that they constantly need reassurance that their feelings and thoughts are "normal".

[Nathalie Fannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so unbelievably brave. It emphasizes our need to look out for protect children ALL children and not just those within our own homes. It tells the heart-wrenching story of someone who did not get a childhood and was failed by all of those around her. It was difficult to hear but should not be ignored.
Some comments have mentioned that the author sounds detached but I would suggest that this is partly due to her Aspergers, and partly due to the trauma that she has been through that consumed her whole childhood.
I think this was unflinchingly honest and raw.

[Mae · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is an interesting read and written in a unique way considering the content of the writing. Taylor Edison provides a raw autobiography; yet when reading you can see a level of detachment from the story itself. She starts with her struggle of understand, her diagnosis of Asperger, the horrid experience she endured by the men around her, the complex and sad connection and experiences with her other, and then discusses what it did to her as she has grown up. It was a quick read.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a heartbreaking story about a little girl who had asked burgers, and her and her mother was not very compassionate. She let her daughter just run on her own, and her daughter had no upbringing. So the little girl ended up being miss treated, and not knowing that she was being being miss treated, and because she had asked burgers, and finally she got herself. She kind of realize that something was wrong and she did get help and she wrote this book I don’t.

[Erika · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was passed this book with the recommendation that it was really insightful about Asperger's syndrome... while being on the spectrum is a big part of Taylors story, the majority of the book focuses on child abuse, sexual abuse and is at many times a grim and difficult read. I also struggled with the tone and repetitiveness.

[Crazy_smiler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad story of a girl who hated herself so much she allowed so many men to use and abuse her.

I am surprised she managed to not get an STI that we know of.

I wish her the best of luck and happiness in her future and gets the help she needs.

[Natasha Gonzalez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the book, it made me really sad knowing this is a true story and someone actually went through the things she did young. Even though I loved the story I didn't love the ending but that is only because I like a resolution. Because the author is writing about the past she ends it with a quick update of where she is in life which is amazing but it feels unfinished

[Marwa Ghazy]

June 2024
I can't rate these books. It's not meant to be rated.

I have one question though, why were all her "boyfriends" Afghan?
I can't find info about her and where she's from. if anybody knows please tell me.

[windinthewilloreads · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked this, I did struggle with the subject matter. Although wonderfully written its not an easy book to read.

[Tra Cey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Horrifying. Book covers primarily relationship with mother and men. I appreciated the look into how her brain works and how she perceives things.

[Sebbe P · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story can not be rated with stars, the person in question has experienced something that no one is entitled to judge.
So my judgment is based solely on how the book is written.

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Massive trigger warning for this book! It deals with some really heavy subjects such as abuse and violence and was a very difficult, but ultimately rewarding, read.

[McKayla Cave · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing, heart wrenching book. TW of SA, Prostitution, sex work, DV

[Debi · Rating 5 out of 5]

True story about how a child with Asperger syndrome grew up in horrific conditions and managed to survive and fight her way out of it, to lead a better life.

[Aimee Swinderman · Rating 4 out of 5]

The things she went through were terrible. I hope she finds healing and a good life ahead. I did, however, have difficulty with some of the repetitiveness and the writing style of this book.

[Sydnei · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like how this shows how people emotions are and what they go threw, as well as what they have become. It's not all the time that people will go out of their shell and tell you about this. Even in writing! It was true feeling and what actually happened during this process as well as how she grew up.

[April Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do not like rating memoirs. It feels wrong. I went with three because there was a story and you saw growth throughout. I struggled with the repetitiveness and how long it took to see growth as a book. In life, it’s very different.

[Cal Littlehales]

An amazing, uncomfortable at times, read. From the most unconventional, to say the least, early years of this child's life to the present day. A true story of courage and faith in the face of absolute adversity.
Do you know where your child is and what they are doing - read this book.

[Titch88 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Won as part of a goodreads giveaway.

A moving story and at times uncomfortable read but one that had me hooked. It was hard to imagine that a girl so young could go through so much from such a young age without the love and support a child is supposed to have. Taylor showed such courage and strength to pull herself through the darkest of times.

Wonderfully written

[Kay Townsend · Rating 5 out of 5]

For such a dark subject this was a really good book. It told a lot about the subject and I found it really interesting.

[Andreap · Rating 4 out of 5]

Difficult to read. Taylor is a survivor and a hero.

[Ace]

DNF sorry. Couldn't handle it anymore

[Hazel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

I Know What You Are is a true story about a lonely child with Asperger Syndrome, trapped in the unremitting cycle of abuse and exploitation. Taylor Edison, now aged 21, reflects on her unhappy childhood, focusing on terrible events that began ten years ago.

Taylor was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at a fairly young age after being unable to cope at school. Although this explained her recalcitrant behaviour, it did not ameliorate her drug dependent mother’s antagonistic behaviour. Not being able to make friends at school due to her significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside the lack of love at home, Taylor was left believing that she was the person to blame for all the negative things in life.

At age 11, Taylor made a friend, or so she thought, in an adult man named Tom. Due to her lack of understanding about the world, Taylor believed that anyone who paid her attention was her friend. Adversely, Tom had ulterior motives for befriending Taylor, leading her to be susceptible to abuse, not just from Tom, but many men in the future, too.

Not understanding that she was being abused, Taylor thought sex and other inappropriate behaviour was normal, resulting in her becoming involved with a gang of drug dealers at the mere age of 12. Taylor speaks of the acts she was forced to endure, as well as the effects it had on her young self. Instead of going to school, she was dealing with pregnancies, miscarriages and sexual violence.

Abuse of any nature is a horrendous situation to find oneself in, but when the victim does not realise it is abuse, it is just about impossible to get out of. Convinced that the violence she endured was a result things she has done wrong, Taylor perniciously continued to do everything her abusers asked in the hope that they would love her.

From sexual abuse to becoming a pre-teen alcoholic, Taylor writes down everything that happened as it occurred, without trying to sugar coat or protect the reader from the hard truth. Possibly due to being on the autistic spectrum, Taylor’s narrative is bereft of emotion, which would usually signify an incompetent writer, however in this case, adds further understanding to Taylor’s experience.

Admittedly, I Know What You Are is difficult to read – is anyone comfortable reading about a 12 year old having sex? It may seem odd that Taylor wants to share the ins and outs of her abuse with the world, but her goal is to express that what happens to you is not what you are. It is not your fault if people are horrible to you, or abuse and exploit you.

Unfortunately, Taylor is not completely safe from her past, but she is well on the way to having a more stable life. She has been able to get the education she missed, and is slowly creating a future for herself.

It is unclear how much of the book Taylor penned herself, since it was ghost written by Jane Smith. The style of narration fits in with the typical mannerisms of Asperger Syndrome, but comes across as too perspicuous for someone with a large hole in her education.

I Know What You Are is not a book to be read for entertainment. It is not a story to be enjoyed, and will not appeal to many readers. Those with interest into psychology or survivor stories are the more appropriate target audience. Despite the subject matter being something not a great deal want to read about, Taylor has every right to write about the way she was treated. These things should not be kept hidden from the world; by telling her story, Taylor may save someone else from their abusive relationships.

[Chad Palumbo · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 lots of explaining the same things about her condition. But still a good book. Sad how she was used.