Without My Mum: A Daughter's Guide to Grief, Loss and Reclaiming Life

by Leigh Van Der Horst

When Leigh Van Der Horst lost her beloved mother to cancer in 2008, she faced her biggest battle yet. In Without My Mum, she invites us on a journey that is at times heartbreaking, others heartwarming, but ultimately comforting and inspiring. With warmth and candour, Leigh tells of her transformative passage through devastating grief, one that allowed her to rediscover and redefine her own identity.

As well as exploring her own experience, Van Der Horst brings together stories from many inspiring women around the world, including contributions from Jools Oliver, Lisa Wilkinson, Megan Gale, Amanda de Cadenet and Natalie Bassingthwaighte.

‘A wonderful book that captured my heart in the first few paragraphs. Leigh’s candid, humorous and heartfelt narrative, together with a collection of stories and wisdom from others who have walked a similar path, are authentic, uniting and ultimately inspiring. It’s a laugh-out-loud, sob-a-little-uncontrollably kind of book that will resonate with any parent or carer. I adored it!’— Jools Oliver

‘I can’t sing the praises of this gorgeous mum enough. For those who have lost their mum and are forging ahead as a mum on your own, this is truly a must have book.’— Natalie Bassingthwaighte

Leigh Van Der Horst is the mother of four boys. They live on Victoria's beautiful Mornington Peninsula. Leigh discovered a passion for writing when her beloved mother passed away from cancer and now regularly writes for her inspiring website 'Leigh V Loves'.

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief, Memoir, Death, Biography

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 27, 2015

About the author

Leigh Van Der Horst is a mother of four boys who lives at Victoria's beautiful Mornington Peninsula. Leigh discovered a passion for writing when her beloved mother passed away from cancer and now regularly writes for her inspiring website 'Leigh V Loves'. Leigh believes that with a positive attitude, life can be a wonderful adventure and hopes to encourage others to live their best lives and believe in themselves.

Reviews

[Beanca Daluz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was given this book by my sister when we lost our Mum in 2022. I found the parts relating to women with children not identifiable as I don’t have kids of my own so it took me awhile to finish this book.
Think it’ll be great for those daughters with kids but for me I lost interest.

[Min · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book that I read from cover to cover. I couldn't put it down. I smiled, I laughed, and I sobbed my heart out. Leigh tells the heartbreaking story of the loss of her mother to cancer in 2008. At the time, Leigh was only 32 with three small boys. She was now a motherless mother. Though it is a heartbreaking story, the book is also full of joy and hope as we see Leigh travel through her grief to transform her life into one where she now lives with a more grateful heart and a positive attitude. The book also shares the stories of other motherless mothers across the globe and includes a section where mothers (including some celebrities) share their mothering wisdom for the various phases of motherhood. These two sections at the back of the book provide an uplifting sense of sisterhood and the wonder of women supporting and nurturing other women. A must read for all women!

[Kirsti · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first part, Leigh's account, was my preferred mode for telling a story. The next two parts, short and sharp, didn't have the same effect as the more personal narrative. It's not to take away from any individual grief, but I don't think we get enough of any woman's story there to take as much away from it as we did the first part. The final part was words of wisdom, and yet again, I didn't find this as emotive as the first part.

A good book, emotional and well written (in the beginning) Three stars.

[Susan Crowley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the second and third sections of the book.

The second section was cathartic. It's helpful that other women without their mums feel things that I feel too.

The third section was about the struggles and fears of being a mother and raising little people. It added to my understanding of this time of life and together with my observations of life and experiences of my friends hopefully expanded my compassion, insight and care for women in this stage.

[Miss Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Leigh for having the strength to write this book. I was desperately searching for something like this in 2012 when I lost my mum. You made me feel like I'm not alone in this motherless journey and I cried many tears as I related to your story. Wishing everyone in a similar position love and strength. Our mothers live on in us Xx

[Lisa Bacon-hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

So heart breaking to read but also inspiring and comforting as I am motherless mum.
Tough reading and I could feel her pain, it so resonated with me.

[Lorraine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn’t keep me interested and didn’t finish the book...sorry

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really nice story of loss. It really hit home for me and I saw a lot of parallels with my mum.

[Sally · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sad story.

[Amna Durrani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have also lost my Mother.... And can relate each and everything written in this book....

[Bea Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have not lost my mum however I lost my eldest daughter to terminal illness. So much of "Without my Mum" resonated deeply with me and what I went through that I was brought to tears several times while reading it.Leigh writes so beautifully about how precious and sacred the love between mother and daughter can be,and how this love can continue on even if Mother or daughter are no longer physically together. I loved everything about this book from the open and honest recount of Leigh's story and the stories of others that have lost their mums,to the collection of reassuring and comforting advice from mothers all around the world.

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't hesitate to buy this book as long as you get tissues handy. The book is divided roughly in thirds. First is the honest account of the author's loss of her mother, second is a collection of stories told from motherless mothers, and third is a section on motherly wisdom shared between loving mothers. All three sections had me choked up if not teary-eyed at times. This 300+ page book shows the themes transcend age, ethnicity and geography. I received a copy from Goodreads First Reads program.

[Sylvia Vanderhorst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leigh's book is a must read. It recounts her experiences as she navigated through the time of her Mum's illness and death. It is honest and hearfelt and beautifully written and for so many of us that have lost their Mum, it is an experience we can relate to. It includes other Mum's stories of loss, which are both inspiring and very moving.

[Jo Jowett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautifully written book is an honest account of when the author, Leigh, loses her Mum to cancer. I found the book very easy to read and I struggled to put it down. Although it was extremely heartbreaking to read, due to it bringing up a lot of my own memories, it was also inspiring and incredibly comforting.

[Bianca Rose (Belladonnabooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

After losing my mum a year ago my partner purchased this for me as a Christmas present. I eagerly devoured it within 2 days. It was like a warm, welcoming hug. I felt the author's pain, I resonated with her grief, I cried and rejoiced at the similarities we shared. Thank you so much Leigh for your raw, heartfelt words. Reading this book meant so much to me.

[Rebecca Baker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honest and heartfelt but wasn't sure about the structure of the book. The authors story at the beginning was a very emotional account and the part I most enjoyed but I didn't get out of it what I had hoped.

[Heidi Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in one sitting and felt so blessed that I still had a mum in which to have conversations with. I sobbed my heart out reading Leigh's story. Great read, but make sure you have some tissues on hand.

[Lyn Mether- fairbairn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't read in public in a waiting room as I did. Very heart wrenching and hits home. Excellent book with great insight.