Nearly Normal: Surviving the Wilderness, My Family and Myself

by Cea Sunrise Person

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

 From the author of the bestselling memoir North of Normal comes the harrowing story of a past that won’t let go, and one woman’s attempt to put her life back together after everything falls apart

In her bestselling memoir North of Normal, Cea wrote with grace about her unconventional childhood—her early years living in a tipi in Alberta with her pot-smoking, free-loving counterculture family. But her struggles do not end when she leaves her family at the age of thirteen to become a model. Honest and daring, Nearly Normal reveals the many ways that Cea’s unconventional childhood continues to reverberate through the years.

At the age of thirty-seven, Cea has built a life that looks like the normal one she craved as a child—husband, young son, beautiful house, enviable career. But her carefully art-directed world is about to crumble around her. As she confronts the death of her still-young mother, the disintegration of her second marriage and the demise of her business, all within a few months, she finally faces the need to look at her past to make sense of her present.

The Globe and Mail says “Person’s best gifts as a writer are her memory, her knack for knowing when to dig down into the finer details of a scene, and when to pull back.” Nearly Normal chronicles the many stories Cea left untold but that needed telling. Settled into a new and much happier life after the release of her first book, she is nonetheless compelled to continue searching for answers about her enigmatic family. She discovers the value in the lessons they taught her, and the power of taking responsibility for her own choices.

 

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Canada, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Canadian Literature

304 pages, Paperback

First published February 7, 2017

About the author

Author of the bestselling memoirs North of Normal and Nearly Normal. Wife, mom, friend, dream believer.

Reviews

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do you feel normal now? is the question I get most often from my readers. Almost, I say. Nearly normal.

After book tours and readings (and even a Tedx talk) in the wake of her bestselling memoir North of Normal, Cea Sunrise Person realised that her story was really connecting with readers; and especially with those readers who had survived challenging childhoods of their own. This realisation sparked Person to write a supplementary memoir, this time including the most painful stories from her past that she had omitted or only briefly referenced the first time around; Nearly Normal is meant to fill in the whole story of Person’s stranger-than-fiction life, and as supplementary material, I found it to be, once again, fascinating and thoughtful (I don’t know if it would stand on its own, and don’t think it should be read as a standalone). A had a few quibbles with the writing this time, but will happily round up to four stars again.

The hardest things to write about were the times in my life I felt I didn’t matter, that I wasn’t heard by my family, that I wasn’t allowed to feel shame or modesty or have an opinion that differed from my freedom-obsessed family. Trying to navigate my way through the minefield of Person beliefs — homeopathy, astrology, health food, artificial mood enhancers, freedom, nonconformity — and non-beliefs — religion, politics, consumerism, attachment, guilt, regret, expectation, obligation, education, authority, government, discipline — had left me with little room to form my own opinions other than “whatever’s the opposite of theirs.”

Nearly Normal doesn’t go deeply into the details of Person’s unconventional wilderness childhood (that’s in the first book), but she does add in some shocking stories of abuses she suffered (committed by non-family members, but tied to the neglectful environment she was raised in), she goes into the details of her two failed marriages and successful modelling career, and she outlines her inspiration for and process of writing her first memoir, along with the roadblocks she faced to having it published. The narrative jumps between these three timelines expertly, converging on her life in the present: happily married, with three healthy children, and a successful writing career; “nearly” normal, at last. This is an inspirational story of survival and I can appreciate how other survivors of abusive childhoods could find real value in reading Person’s additional unvarnished truths.

Despite the madness of my early years, there was no doubt that I’d learned some unique and valuable lessons. And if I were to acknowledge that my family had put me in danger because they were too selfish or lazy or crazy to care, it seemed even more important to me that I find the positive in those experiences. So maybe it all evened out. Maybe in some weird way, all the hardship had set me up to be the pattern-breaker of dysfunction in my family. Because I knew that those who continued their family’s patterns of destruction not only hurt themselves but also admitted defeat to those who had damaged them, intentionally or not.

Perhaps the most interesting thing that Person shared this time is her doctor’s suspicion that her mother, aunts, and uncle all suffered from Fragile X Syndrome — they all had mental challenges that ranged from mild cognitive impairment (Cea’s mother) to bipolar (an aunt) to schizophrenia (her institutionalised uncle) — likely, according to the doctor, exacerbated by early and prolonged marijuana use. Cea herself tested negative for the genetic disorder in adulthood (and her children also appear unaffected), and as she also takes after her father in appearance (and apparently in intellect, temperament, and mannerisms, despite not knowing him until adulthood), she makes the provocative statement that she believes a person’s character is fixed at birth “and that environment had little to do with the person we ultimately become.” Adding, “Maybe the reason I’d endured so much as a child had less to do with creating my personality than creating my life’s purpose,” with her life’s purpose being the writing of her story “as though someone else’s life depended upon it”. That’s a provocative conclusion to have ended on, and I’m still mulling it over; happy to have read this, happy to have been provoked.

[Saleema Noon · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading North of Normal a few years ago I was compelled to contact author Cea Person to share with her how moved I was by her story of survival, strength and resilience. Needless to say, I had high expectations for Nearly Normal. I finished it in three days (which is lightening speed for me) and could not believe that Cea's story is even more tragic, intriguing and unbelieveable than I knew it to be. In Nearly Normal, Cea shares stories too painful to share in her first book and updates readers on her life in the last 20 years. It is raw and honest, and Cea takes readers with her as she comes to terms with her wilderness upbringing, dysfunctional family relationships and her reckless life decisions. Nearly Normal is the amazing story of Cea's resilience and dreams realized despite the odds stacked against her. Seriously, you won't be able to put it down.

[Laurie Hoover · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another triumphant memoir by the remarkable Cea Sunrise Person. I read North of Normal over a year ago and reached out to this author as I felt a connection through time and experience after writing my own memoir, Trash: A True Story. I finished Nearly Normal in one day and I am completely inspired by this writer's bravery, resilience and wisdom. Nearly Normal is a true testament to how we all carry our past and its resounding effects no matter how much we try to bury or camouflage it. Cea Person reveals even more of her unconventional childhood marked by terrible neglect and the shadows that haunted her until their release...and maybe they will always haunt her on some level. But let me say this is one strong dame and to accomplish all that she has in the midst of so much adversity is incredible and admirable. Her story will impact you and stay with you.

[Sandy Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fascinating memoir of a girl raised by her hippy grandparents and single mother in the wilderness in profound poverty conditions. But she survived, not unscathed but the better for it. I could hardly put it down!

[Paula Rooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I was really taken by Cea’s first book and approached this follow up with caution as I was concerned it would not hold up to the last.
I could not have been more pleased with the story and wrong with my initial judgement. While I find that many authors who flip between eras give the reader literary whiplash, Cea’s stories from her life flowed with such care and thoughtfulness. She took her second book as an opportunity to share untold moments and offer us, the reader, an inside view into what her therapy session may involve.

The damn bravery it would take to share these stories. AND the skill and effort it would take to weave them together so well.

I HIGHLY recommend picking up both her books. Doesn’t hurt that she’s a Canadian too !!

[Melanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I absolutely loved Cea Person's first book. I was surprised that I didn't love this one as much. It felt like an endlessly long list of terrible events and details about awful people that were left out of the first version. I respect that at the time of writing the first book Ms. Person had her reasons for not sharing everything, and that's ok. I just felt the second book lacked the charm and coherence of the first. I sincerely hope things continue to go well in life for Ms. Person. She certainly deserves it after all she has been through!

[Louise Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

A blow your mind, fill in the gaps, honest sequel to North of Normal. Given Cea's ability to look back at events throughout her childhood and adult life, and be able to understand how that has affected her decisions, her emotions, and her ability to be 'normal', I'd say she is one of the most 'normal' people I have ever known. I say known, because I feel like Cea is a friend who needed me to listen. And everyone has listened, not judged. I sent Cea virtual hugs in each chapter and see that this book has been very much a part of her healing process. Many of us have gone through struggles in our lives, but Cea more than any one person should have - and she has come out on top, with a loving family (yeah Cea, you go girl) and a strong sense of who she is and how, even the hard parts, have made her a better person today. I'm so ecstatically happy for you Cea, you're an inspiration and I wish you a long and successful writing career and endless happiness.

[H · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this second memoir, Cea answered some big obvious questions for me about my own similar-but-different journey. I found myself reading faster and faster through the pages, and then almost crying with gratitude at the "aha!" moments. Whether you have had a childhood like hers or not, her words will soothe and bolster in many ways, the difficulty of getting through the hardships of life. Love, love this book.

[Brook · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all, if you haven't read Cea's first book, North of Normal, then you need to run out and get that one and read it as well. This second book is real and raw and while Cea's experience is unique, almost everyone will relate to the universal themes throughout. This is a must read!

[Allie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. North of Normal (although incredibly interesting and well written) left me wanting more, and Nearly Normal delivered. Cea is a remarkable writer and I admire her vulnerability in these memoirs. This makes me want to read a sequel to every memoir I’ve read!!

[Christina McLain · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book a very interesting albeit horrifying portrait of eccentric family life, in the tradition of The Glass Castle. The family portrayed here are, if possible, even crazier than the strange folks in Glass Castle and the family unit is rife with mental illness, including a violent schizophrenic uncle, a mentally challenged aunt,and a grandfather in love with the wilderness and himself.As patriarch of this motley crew he is their leader and visionary and may or may not also be a domineering psychopath. The author, Cea Person, sadly has no siblings with whom to share her damaged fate but does manage to turn her life around, surviving two painful marriages and after spending her 20s and 30s running on empty. She becomes,of all things, a successful model but finally realizes her true calling as a writer. Her mother, a real piece of work you love to hate, allows her lovers to molest and terrify her daughter and gets off lightly, though she too seems to have a serious case of diminished responsibility.

[Collette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved North of Normal and was excited to read the follow up. However, this book jumped around too much for me. One minute it’s her childhood and the next she’s in Vancouver publishing her book. I’d get into a story she was telling and then suddenly we were in a totally different, unrelated stage of her life. It just felt like all the cuts that had come from the first book were mashed together to make a second. It also started to get a bit repetitive - always reflecting on her relationship with her mother. It’s important but didn’t need to be done every few pages.

[Sussie Hansen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book, is so interesting, the life she had is so very different.
I dont know how she stayed so normal, it shows how much you can
take when you have your Mothers love, even if it is very dysfunctional life.
Family really shows thru.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so traumatic to read that I almost had to sleep with a blankie for two nights. All the worst stuff of her life. How did she ever survive it? I have endless admiration for the author for 1) Going through the horrors of the life she experienced with a dysfunctional and crazy family, and 2) Being able to write clearly and dispassionately about it. What a book! My hope for her is that she finds the rest of her life rewarding and is able to enjoy it.

My metaphorical hat is off to her!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed North of Normal, so I was excited to read this as well. Unlike Janette Walls, Person's second memoir was less effective than her first. While I ate through the first text, this was a much slower read. I enjoyed the sequential development of her first book, but felt it had holes in her adult life. This tries to remedy the later, but jumps around with flashbacks I often found repetitive. I hope she continues to write, but I don't think this added more to our understanding of her life as depicted in North or Normal.

[Terra Wolski · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this incredibly hard to read :( not because it wasn't well written but because it's harsh and sad and no child should have to go through what she did :( Cea is a survivor and I am happy to know she is now safe and happy.

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you read North of Normal, then you were likely waiting eagerly for this sequel. I am so glad Cea wrote this second book. It's honest, harrowing, and ultimately uplifting. What a survivor she is!

[Alex Dunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

As wonderful as her first book. Cea Person is a lovely and incredibly brave human being and writer. I would recommend Nearly Normal and North of Normal to anyone.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting premise, a memoir about the memoir, and the details that didn't make it in, and the aftermath.

[Barb Kelownagurl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good followup to North of Normal. Gave more in depth understanding of her life.

[Erika · Rating 2 out of 5]

This should be added bonus material to North of Normal. I don't know how to fairly review this book without passing judgement on the character of the author herself, so I won't.

[Val Sousa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice followup. A little choppy with the story telling. It does fill some of the missing parts from her first book.

[Lester · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well Cea..YAAAAAYYYYYY!!! So happy that you are continuing to 'blossom'. Glad that writing is good for you..makes readers of your stories look at their own worlds and hopefully make (even small) adjustments to be thoughful, considerate, honest and all those things to each other. Writing words so personal must feel 'raw'..and making it possible for the world to read about your life is a very personal gift. Thank you for that. Thank you for involving your family in your gift.
After meeting you in Tagish (Sept 2016), reading Nearly Normal..was a different feeling. Mostly because I could hear and see you, sorta.
Funny reading your 'take' on The Secret..I couldn't make myself read the entire book..it pissed me off so bad I threw it in the woodstove. Then when I found another one in the Freestore..I put it in the woodstove too feeling like I might have 'saved' someone from 'accidentally' reading it!! HAH!!
I am looking forward to visitng again this year..when you return to Tagish (ummhmmm??) to read from Nearly Normal. Maybe this time you will be able to make the boat trip to your old family camp with our Librarian Jane!! Maybe a springtime trip is in the air?
Thankx Cea..for being you..and learning how to! (Lesli oo)

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a very fast-paced and readable autobiography exploring many issues in contemporary society. The author grew up in an extremely counter cultural environment. It's interesting to draw parallels to Western society today. Although many people advocate this type of lifestyle the actual lived effects of this type of lifestyle are often not very positive for children.

This book give the reader a lot to think about in regards to the effects parental action have on children when parental actions are purely oriented to parental desires which are not restrained at all.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as compelling as her first memoir, and I'm not sure how it would be on a standalone basis, but absolutely necessary if you read (and loved) her first one. So glad I got to learn the second half of her story.

[Virginia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the survivor who wrote this book although I've never met her, and have continued cheering her on through her struggles. I also hope at some point there'll be a third memoir continuing her story.

[Kirsten · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't love this quite as much as North of Normal, but it was still worth the read!
I did the audiobook for this one and didn't love the narrator's voice (Cea herself). I think I would have preferred reading it myself.

[Dianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fascinated by North of Normal, Cea Person's first memoir and was left feeling like I wanted to know even more. I dove into Nearly Normal interested but admittedly having that thought about second books: would it be able to hold a candle to the first? And yes, I am pleased to report, that it does, and then some.
I admire this woman for her objective voice, her grace in storytelling and her proud honesty. She has claimed a place in the Canadian literary wilderness and truly in my heart.
Looking forward to reading her works of fiction.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

It usually takes me half a year to read a book because I just can't find the time. With Nearly Normal (as with North of Normal) I devoured it in two days! Beautifully written and captivating from start to finish. A story worth telling, and worth reading about!

[Robyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars