This is written by a self-admitting Narcissist. I initially had my reasons to avoid trusting the word from a narc. It's simple. I don't believe whatever they say. Anything and everything under the sun is a carefully concocted narrative that lures people into their charm. They nominate and dominate and I was convinced the author's mindset would be no different from the moment he's conveyed that he was a narcissist writing this book. I didn't believe someone would be charitable enough to portray their side of the thinking, so I had my reasons to take this book with a grain of salt.
Boy was I wrong, and I was proved wrong.
This is coming from straight from the horse's mouth.
As I went on reading, into my 5th chapter of the book, I felt a certain uneasiness probably because so much of it was being repeated over and over. It took me a while to ponder and think through the thoughts being shared, and eventually I grew more empathetic of the fact that the author chose to disseminate this information in an effort to curb his narc tendencies. He confesses openly that he copes his heightened awareness of being a narc in people's lives by trying to write and making sense of this disorder.
Things that I found disturbingly eye opening.
1. Narc are specialists at creating illusions and obscuring reality so that you think you are looking at something when really it is something else.
2. Part of the manipulation of you is to bury deep inside you that desire to always want us.
3. When an interaction takes place, if I begin to cause an argument, walk away or end the call. Do not give into the temptation to 'put me straight' (remember it will not work with me) or to try and 'make me see sense'.
4. Establish clear boundaries and protocols by which the minimal interaction must take place and stick to them absolutely. Do not deviate.
5. No Contact is the cessation of all contact and interaction with the narcissist.
6. The narcissist will never give up on (A) wanting to extract the Hoover fuel from you, and (B) wanting to punish you.
7. Understand that the siege we will subject you to when we try and break No Contact will be intense, brutal and hard to resist. You need all your strength and awareness to deal with our repeated overtures.
8. No contact is the complete and total severance of anything and everything to do with us. You must not meet us, speak to us, watch us, ask about us or even think about us.
9. No contact means the narcissist never existed.
10. No contact means erasing the narc from your life in every format.
11. NC means banishing the narc from your life and maintaining that exiled state.
You must avoid
1. Repeated analysis of what went wrong.
2. Obtaining any kind of closure from the Narc.
3. Never give in to their hoovering attempts.