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The Conscious Heart: Seven Soul-Choices That Create Your Relationship Destiny
One of the most celebrated books on relationships in the past decade, Conscious Loving has been incorporated into wedding ceremonies and taught in college courses, as well as becoming an intimate guidebook for thousands of couples. Now, building on the psychological insights of their earlier work, Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks bring a new level of spiritual knowledge to the point-blank world of relationship life.
At the core of their new book are seven soul-commitments that change relationships from the inside out--basic shifts of attitude and intention that can transform everything from a couple's fundamental trust in one another to the petty details of day-to-day life. These soul commitments enable us to use conflict to illuminate the fears that keep us stuck and hidden from our true nature. They also work to enhance authenticity, equality and appreciation in every aspect of our partnership.
The Hendrickses outline these spiritual principles with eloquent clarity, and they also show them in action in numerous illuminating examples--including their own mid-life marital crisis and in dealing with the very material world of money. No other relationship book is at once so on-target practical and so large in its claims for the ultimate power of the conscious heart.
At the core of their new book are seven soul-commitments that change relationships from the inside out--basic shifts of attitude and intention that can transform everything from a couple's fundamental trust in one another to the petty details of day-to-day life. These soul commitments enable us to use conflict to illuminate the fears that keep us stuck and hidden from our true nature. They also work to enhance authenticity, equality and appreciation in every aspect of our partnership.
The Hendrickses outline these spiritual principles with eloquent clarity, and they also show them in action in numerous illuminating examples--including their own mid-life marital crisis and in dealing with the very material world of money. No other relationship book is at once so on-target practical and so large in its claims for the ultimate power of the conscious heart.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published July 1, 1997
32 people are currently reading
382 people want to read
About the author
Gay Hendricks
93 books507 followersDr. Gay Hendricks has served for more than 30 years as one of the major contributors to the fields of relationship transformation and body-mind therapies. Along with his wife, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, Gay is the author of many bestsellers, including Conscious Loving, At the Speed of Life, and Five Wishes.
Gay received his PhD in counseling psychology from Stanford University in 1974. After a 21-year career as a professor at the University of Colorado, he founded The Hendricks Institute, which offers seminars in North America, Asia, and Europe. He is also the founder of a new virtual learning center for transformation, Gaia Illumination University.
Throughout his career, Gay has done executive coaching with more than 800 executives, including the top management at such firms as Dell Computer, Hewlett Packard, Motorola, and KLM. His book, The Corporate Mystic, is used widely to train management in combining business skills and personal development tools.
In recent years he has also been active in creating new forms of conscious entertainment. In 2003, along with movie producer Stephen Simon, Gay founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle, which distributes inspirational movies to subscribers in more than 70 countries around the world. He was the executive producer of the feature film Conversations with God, and he has appeared on more than 500 radio and television shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 Hours, and others
Gay received his PhD in counseling psychology from Stanford University in 1974. After a 21-year career as a professor at the University of Colorado, he founded The Hendricks Institute, which offers seminars in North America, Asia, and Europe. He is also the founder of a new virtual learning center for transformation, Gaia Illumination University.
Throughout his career, Gay has done executive coaching with more than 800 executives, including the top management at such firms as Dell Computer, Hewlett Packard, Motorola, and KLM. His book, The Corporate Mystic, is used widely to train management in combining business skills and personal development tools.
In recent years he has also been active in creating new forms of conscious entertainment. In 2003, along with movie producer Stephen Simon, Gay founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle, which distributes inspirational movies to subscribers in more than 70 countries around the world. He was the executive producer of the feature film Conversations with God, and he has appeared on more than 500 radio and television shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 Hours, and others
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
February 3, 2019
3.5 stars - Some good points and ideas but too much into filler storytelling and spreading themselves too thin by wanting to cover a lot of ground in a way that was a bit disorganized and lacked focus. I'm also unclear what they mean by essence, a key concept in this particular book that they never got around to defining. Conscious Loving is a much better book.
January 5, 2009
While I rated both "Conscious Living" and "Conscious Loving" by the same authors, the Hendricks's, with a very enthused 5 star rating, subsequently ordering several of their books, I have stepped back with my endorsement after reading "Conscious Heart." This particular book does not detract from the basic message of their work in general with a "conscious approach," so to speak, to life and our various relationships, romantic or otherwise. I still hold to that. The premise is sound. But "Conscious Heart" has little new to offer; indeed, what is new is a section that rather made me wince.
I am all flags and hurrah banners for a commitment to honesty - to self and to others. Speaking one's feelings aloud, bringing them into the light for full understanding, using that understanding to build intimacy in a romantic relationship but increased efficiency in a work relationship, yes, all of that makes solid good sense to me. But I am also a believer in balance. Often, too much of a good thing becomes, well, not so good. It is possible to exaggerate this idea to the point of being obnoxious and unnecessarily cruel.
Example: The Hendricks couple recount an incident in their marriage that tested their commitment and their honesty. Gay Hendricks, in his own retelling, goes through a scene of seduction that is handled with, to me, absurdity. While I agree with their commitment to tell each other when they might be in danger of serious straying, teetering on the boundaries of infidelity, so that they might work it out together -- I am not at all convinced that this incident, as it is described in the book, is handled in a way that even a reasonably committed couple could, or should, endure. Gay spots a younger woman across a dance floor, someone both he and wife Kathlyn know and trust, but suddenly he sees this woman in a different light. How this temporary desire for another woman is handled between the three of them tests my limits of understanding. The marriage endures -- but my patience and empathy do not. Not only is the disclosure unnecessary, but the concept of commitment seems to get lost in this threesome as they find their proper paths. The Hendricks are, after all, a married couple. Surely that stands for something. This "exploration" of Gay's temptation should have been cut off at the starting line, period.
I still recommend the Hendricks first two books with enthusiasm. Honesty is indeed the best policy. Being conscious of one's own motives and feelings is powerful. But I see no benefit to being subjected to my partner's ongoing stream of consciousness every time he feels a tingle in his tenders, not if it's a passing and momentary thought. Nor do I intend to subject him to same. That kind of banter is wearing, and I see no benefit from it. Not to be confused with open and full disclosure when infidelity, or danger of it, does indeed threaten a relationship. That is always necessary, no exceptions.
My recommendation is to read the Hendricks' first books, "Conscious Living" and "Conscious Loving." The basic idea of this kind of living, after all, is not complicated. I can't help feeling this newer addition was written merely as padding.
I am all flags and hurrah banners for a commitment to honesty - to self and to others. Speaking one's feelings aloud, bringing them into the light for full understanding, using that understanding to build intimacy in a romantic relationship but increased efficiency in a work relationship, yes, all of that makes solid good sense to me. But I am also a believer in balance. Often, too much of a good thing becomes, well, not so good. It is possible to exaggerate this idea to the point of being obnoxious and unnecessarily cruel.
Example: The Hendricks couple recount an incident in their marriage that tested their commitment and their honesty. Gay Hendricks, in his own retelling, goes through a scene of seduction that is handled with, to me, absurdity. While I agree with their commitment to tell each other when they might be in danger of serious straying, teetering on the boundaries of infidelity, so that they might work it out together -- I am not at all convinced that this incident, as it is described in the book, is handled in a way that even a reasonably committed couple could, or should, endure. Gay spots a younger woman across a dance floor, someone both he and wife Kathlyn know and trust, but suddenly he sees this woman in a different light. How this temporary desire for another woman is handled between the three of them tests my limits of understanding. The marriage endures -- but my patience and empathy do not. Not only is the disclosure unnecessary, but the concept of commitment seems to get lost in this threesome as they find their proper paths. The Hendricks are, after all, a married couple. Surely that stands for something. This "exploration" of Gay's temptation should have been cut off at the starting line, period.
I still recommend the Hendricks first two books with enthusiasm. Honesty is indeed the best policy. Being conscious of one's own motives and feelings is powerful. But I see no benefit to being subjected to my partner's ongoing stream of consciousness every time he feels a tingle in his tenders, not if it's a passing and momentary thought. Nor do I intend to subject him to same. That kind of banter is wearing, and I see no benefit from it. Not to be confused with open and full disclosure when infidelity, or danger of it, does indeed threaten a relationship. That is always necessary, no exceptions.
My recommendation is to read the Hendricks' first books, "Conscious Living" and "Conscious Loving." The basic idea of this kind of living, after all, is not complicated. I can't help feeling this newer addition was written merely as padding.
November 15, 2017
So I think there were good suggestions in this book about taking ownership of our issues and being authentic with our partners, but I think all of the focus on energy and the universe is just not understandable. And I didn't really like the Gay introduced by the book.
November 16, 2019
Winning!
This book was Awesome and logical! This book completely changes the mind. Its a great book for anyone wanting to grow.
This book was Awesome and logical! This book completely changes the mind. Its a great book for anyone wanting to grow.
May 8, 2020
I found this book to be fascinating and I recommend everyone read it.
June 4, 2020
"Den medvetna kärleken", för en varaktig kärlek och gemensam utveckling i parrelationer. (på svenska 1998)
February 2, 2012
Being in a 13 week course given by Gay Hendricks prompted me to read this book. It is fantastic and challenging. I found myself questioning old beliefs that had been limiting me in my relationships. I now approach my relationship with my husband in a much more open heart centered way. I was particularly challenged by being completely honest (does a partner really need to know when you fantasize about someone else, for example?), but opening to this has been amazing to our relationship and allowed us to grow together! I also got a lot from both of us accepting 100% of the responsibility for conflict. Giving up the quest for who can be the bigger victim has allowed us to release resentment and move more in love.
December 18, 2016
The foundational idea of the seven soul-choices, committments etc. is great in my opinion. But in the end, for me the book felt like reading through endlessly repeating gibberish without real substance. The authors deliver one emotional- and especially esoteric speech after the other. I generally do not have anything against alternative spiritual mindsets but here it felt not only exaggerated but also superimposed. Obviously, looking at the great average score, other people have other feelings about that.
June 2, 2008
Kind of a sequel to their first major book Conscious Loving, this covers what they have learned in their marriage, teaching, and counseling in the meanwhile. More personal (transparent with their lives) and less textbooky than the first one.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews