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Unlocking the Magic of Facilitation: 11 Key Concepts You Didn't Know You Didn't Know

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Have you ever been in a training and marveled at how quickly the time flew by? Genuinely enjoyed a meeting you were expecting to dread? Learned something powerful about a topic you thought wouldn't engage you? Experienced an intimate, vulnerable, transformative moment with a group of total strangers?

Then you've witnessed the magic of facilitation.

Like all magic tricks though they seem to defy reason when you're spectating for the first time once the secrets of facilitation are unveiled to you, you'll look back with a bland obviousness. Of course that's how it's done.

In this book, co-authors and social justice facilitators Sam Killermann and Meg Bolger teach you how to perform the favorite tricks they keep up their sleeve. It's the learning they've accumulated from thousands of hours of facilitating, debriefing, challenging, and failing; it's the lessons from their mentors, channeled through their experience; it's the magician's secrets, revealed to the public, because it's about time folks have the privilege of looking behind the curtain of facilitation and thinking of course that's how it's done.

This book highlights 11 key concepts every facilitator should know, that most facilitators don't even know they should know. They are sometimes-tiny things that show up huge in facilitation. It's a book for facilitators of all stripes, goals, backgrounds, and settings and the digestible, enjoyable, actionable lessons would benefit anyone who is responsible for engaging a group of people in learning.

Then you've witnessed the magic of facilitation.Like all magic tricks – though they seem to defy reason when you're spectating for the first time – once the secrets of facilitation are unveiled to you, you'll look back with a bland obviousness. Of course that's how it's done. In this book, co-authors and social justice facilitators Sam Killermann and Meg Bolger teach you how to perform the favorite tricks they keep up their sleeve. It's the learning they've accumulated from thousands of hours of facilitating, debriefing, challenging, and failing; it's the lessons from their mentors, channeled through their experience; it's the magician's secrets, revealed to the public, because it's about time folks have the privilege of looking behind the curtain of facilitation and thinking of course that's how it's done.

This book is highlights 11 key concepts every facilitator should know, that most facilitators don't even know they should know. They are sometimes-tiny things that show up huge in facilitation. It's a book for facilitators of all stripes, goals, backgrounds, and settings – and the digestible, enjoyable, actionable lessons would benefit anyone who is responsible for engaging a group of people in learning.

156 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 28, 2016

222 people are currently reading
452 people want to read

About the author

Sam Killermann

3 books37 followers
Sam Killermann is a multi-disciplinary artist who puts his gifts to work to achieve global justice as the Director of Creativity for hues. Sam is also the person behind It’s Pronounced Metrosexual, the comedy show performed at colleges and universities, as well as the online resource, which has educated millions of readers on themes of social justice, gender, and sexuality.


Sam’s work (that he uncopyrighted in 2013) has been downloaded by hundreds of millions of people around the world who utilize it to bolster their educational and advocacy efforts toward equity. His version of the Genderbread Person, a model for understanding and teaching gender and sexual diversity, has been translated into over a dozen languages.


In 2014, Sam designed an all-gender restroom sign that he gifted to the commons, which is now being implemented on three continents, is featured in the White House, and is becoming the standard for dozens of communities around the U.S. and world.


Sam is the author of A Guide to Gender, which is an exploration of gender from a social justice perspective, with humor and comics sprinkled in. The book opened as the #1 bestseller in gender on Amazon, and as a reflection of Sam’s commitment to access as a core social justice value, he’s given away over 10,000 copies of the book. He gave a well-received TEDxTalk that has over 200,000 views called “Understanding the Complexities of Gender,” where he distilled the themes of the book into a few minutes of fun, energetic, and easily-digestible speech.


Sam is the co-creator of TheSafeZoneProject.com, a free online resource for LGBTQ and Ally training materials. The open source curriculum they published is being used by over ten thousand educators in at least 100 countries.


Outside of his key initiatives, Sam is a frequent keynote speaker, serves on the Board of Directors for Healthy Teen Network, is the comedy half of S.E.X., head elf at Socially Just Cards, and is always dreaming up new social good projects. When he’s not on the road, he likes to spend at least a few hours a day bicycling around sunny Austin, TX, where he counts himself lucky to live.

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5 stars
78 (31%)
4 stars
105 (42%)
3 stars
53 (21%)
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10 (4%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
Profile Image for Aleš Roubíček.
19 reviews51 followers
October 11, 2017
K facilitaci jsem se dostal díky Coderetreatu a postupem času jsem začal chápat co dělám špatně a co se daří. Pak jsem poznal Vaška Lavičku a začal jsem za facilitací vidět mnohem náročnější disciplínu než jsem si zpočátku myslel. Každopádně je to skvělý způsob učení a vzdělávání.

Tahle kniha přináší spoustu postřehů a zkušeností z facilitační praxe. Rozhodně doporučuji.
Profile Image for Jessica.
Author 3 books25 followers
January 18, 2021
This is very practical.

This could be a very useful tool for music therapy students learning techniques for music therapy groups with very practical and concrete tips for verbal interactions. This could also be useful for more experienced therapists to help review or maintain skills.
Profile Image for Rebecca Graves.
499 reviews
January 4, 2024
This was a quick to read, easy to digest and still helpful book! Touched on real concepts, had humor and was honest. Felt like you were at one of their events and they were talking to you which I love in a book like this; it doesn’t feel over researched or like I have sat down to read a school book. Great tips and very actionable concepts!
89 reviews2 followers
May 25, 2021
I don’t really know what to make of this book. If you didn’t already know the authors were social justice advocates, you will by the end. Not that this is a bad thing, but I’m not sure there was a single example which didn’t feature this in one way or another.

As for the topic of the book, it had some things I’ve learned before (and nice to have them reaffirmed), but I’m not so sure about the rest of the stuff. I’m just not sure I get it.

This is the first book I’ve read about facilitating, so maybe they’re all very similar, but I get the feeling this is maybe an outlier.
Author 8 books1 follower
September 23, 2019
Straightforward and simple; little magic

For someone who has never facilitated anything before this might help a lot.

I have informal experience facilitating and was looking for a more thorough treatment of the subject.

It was a pretty easy read, a bit corny and lacked the magic I was looking for.
2 reviews1 follower
September 5, 2022
Solid reference for facilitation, the authors have a good sense of humor, I'd give it 4.5 stars if I could but am rounding up because of the reference to the movie "Up" in the footnotes. I could do with a few more examples of some of the concepts outlined in the book, but I have a great jumping off point to explore those myself. I really liked some of the tips to regain control after a triggering situation. It's easy to lose an entire audience in those situations and these strategies are great to keep in the old back pocket.
Profile Image for Meghan Burke.
Author 4 books18 followers
July 25, 2017
I have a lot of experience facilitating, but I had some anxiety about an upcoming enhanced and more intensive role. I wasn't sure I would get much about this, but I really did. Plus, as others have noted, it's written with wit and a palpable social justice lens. I'm glad I read it! And I'll probably refer back to some sections as the new layer of this work for me begins. Thanks to the authors for such a valuable, humane, funny, and socially just book.
Profile Image for Michael MacDonald.
111 reviews1 follower
January 2, 2018
Great refresher

This is a great book for those who are facilitating difficult topics and lack formal exposure to Critical Theory.

For professionals that have done formal work with social justice and critical theory, this is a good refresher that uses non-academic language to help you re-engage with the important principles of examining power structures within a training/workshop environment.
14 reviews1 follower
March 13, 2018
I learned a lot about facilitation practices from this book. I enjoyed the focus on vulnerability, probing questions and triggers. For those in education, I recommend this book to those looking to grow in their interactions with students, co-workers, and parents.

I will note that the book had a high number of grammatical errors. This was somewhat distracting and surprising.
Profile Image for Ava.
169 reviews
July 23, 2018
Read this at work, was interesting to compare to my facilitation experience and training with Sustained Dialogue at school. Well written and pretty funny, and lots of valuable knowledge within!

Would recommend if you need tips, but exactly really a "for fun" read otherwise. :)
Profile Image for Coral Rose.
380 reviews19 followers
October 17, 2019
Honestly, this was the practical steps I've learned accidentally facilitating workshops at work. Anyone who facilitates learning on tough subjects can find something useful in this. I am going to make it required reading for our Witnessing Whiteness facilitators at work.
Profile Image for Adam.
90 reviews
February 4, 2025
Not really what i was expecting. I guess facilitation is different based upon the application. I was expecting it to be more as about workshop facilitation rather than learning facilitation. Some good tips and worth a read for newbies to learning facilitation.
Profile Image for cat.
1,232 reviews43 followers
February 3, 2018
Really a 3.75, but rounding up because I really enjoyed the book. Many familiar concepts, a few new helpful processes, and an overall great reminder of the value in the work of facilitation.
4 reviews
June 13, 2019
Great tips and fun to read

Perfect content and length for anyone facilitating any topic. I enjoyed reading it and learned from it and it reinforced things I already knew.
Profile Image for Juraj Holub.
158 reviews25 followers
January 6, 2020
The first half of the book was practical and full of actionable tips. The second half got into social justice waters and introduced some very fluffy concepts that didn’t hit the mark for me.
Profile Image for Eric.
141 reviews
March 27, 2020
A different way of looking at facilitation. I find it to be a great resource for teaching new facilitators.
39 reviews
January 29, 2021
The book was a quick read with helpful tools and suggestions. If you need to facilitate and redirect tough conversations or move the conversation forward, this book is for you.
Profile Image for Grace.
336 reviews3 followers
March 28, 2021
There were some very helpful facilitation tips in here, particularly around how to frame up good questions. It's an odd read but it goes by quickly.
2 reviews
June 5, 2022
Awesome book for people starting their facilitation journey. It's filled with valuable insights, tips, and tricks to become a better facilitator and a better person.
Profile Image for Rebecca Beck.
86 reviews
December 8, 2023
A great primer for professionals that are new to facilitating. I was able to pull a few very good nuggets of wisdom from the book, as well.
Profile Image for Elana A.
149 reviews14 followers
February 13, 2024
Well put together for people who are engaged in experiential facilitation and activist spaces.
Profile Image for zoagli.
633 reviews5 followers
May 31, 2024
Encouraging primer about facilitation that any teacher or trainer should read, if you don’t mind the “woke” writing style – the book is very short, but it took me almost two months to get through it.
Profile Image for vivian.
31 reviews
November 14, 2024
Very helpful and kind. There are many typos though? I also wish there was a bit more academic reference just to help the structure.
Profile Image for Lindsey Mark.
31 reviews5 followers
March 21, 2017
Good way to easily wrap your head around facilitation, a very helpful life skill that's often not honed.
Profile Image for CJ Venable.
14 reviews
March 30, 2016
Unlocking the Magic of Facilitation by Sam Killermann and Meg Bolger is a great introduction to some of the key tips for social justice facilitation. The book is a quick and easy read, breaking down complex concepts (like Obear's work on the triggering event cycle) into digestible nuggets of knowledge. The authors present a number of concepts that were familiar to me already, but in ways that were compelling and useful as reminders of their importance. Reading these portions (like the importance of the "Yes, and..." rule) helped me to reflect on my own practice and how effectively I utilize those strategies to act as an effective facilitator rather than a hostile lecturer.

Other concepts were new to me, particularly the "roundabout" of strategies to step away from the triggering event cycle and the discussion of ways to question more effectively. These practices are definitely ones I will be incorporating into my work with facilitation, but also my one-on-one interactions with students.

Overall, this book was a useful and fun read that achieved its goals: not to be a comprehensive resource, but a valuable set of tools and tips that are accessible to any facilitator looking to improve their skills.
Profile Image for B*tchy.
271 reviews53 followers
October 24, 2016
I teach training the trainer workshops using Nick and Meg's book along with Nick's invaluable resources to help clinicians learn how to create safer spaces in their practices by looking at their own biases while discovering new ways to connect. The goal is that the trainers go back to their facilities and replicate their experiences. This book has been a FANTASTIC how to, and has helped many who are shy or uncomfortable teaching find their voice. I even found the info extremely useful as a seasoned lecturer and presenter. I feel like reiterating the basics took my game to another level and has make me come back to that magical place of curiosity. It helps me bond quickly in a room and I feel like interactions goes deeper.
Profile Image for Amy.
301 reviews7 followers
April 11, 2016
This book will be a great resource for me in the future as I test the facilitating waters with my toes again and again! Sam and Meg are two very wise people who have happened to author a great book on concepts some of you may or may not already know, but in a way that keeps you reading and shaking your head as in, "I get it, or great idea!" I love the sense of humor...aka the parenthesis and foot notes throughout the book! The And vs But chapter was a great reminder of how important our wording is in the facilitation process as well. I can't say enough, and how thankful I am for the opportunity to review this book as a Goodreads winner! Great job you two!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews

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