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Kale, My Ex, and Other Things to Toss in a Blender
Not yet published
Expected 1 Jan 35When Mia s summer starts with an epic breakup, she s sure the rest of the vacation will be miserable. But her best friend, Justine, would never let that happen. Their plan has two parts. One: use their summer job driving a snow cone truck to keep tabs on Mia s ex in person. Two: create a fake persona to connect with Mia s ex online.
Soon both plans have morphed into something so much bigger. Add some kale to a snow cone and they ve got the hottest smoothie in town . . . and more money than they could have imagined. And when Mia s ex starts falling for the online girl, there s a revenge plot just waiting to be born. A guy who dumps a girl because he thinks her thighs are too thick deserves to have his heart broken by a fake girlfriend, right? All s fair in love and smoothies. . . .
Soon both plans have morphed into something so much bigger. Add some kale to a snow cone and they ve got the hottest smoothie in town . . . and more money than they could have imagined. And when Mia s ex starts falling for the online girl, there s a revenge plot just waiting to be born. A guy who dumps a girl because he thinks her thighs are too thick deserves to have his heart broken by a fake girlfriend, right? All s fair in love and smoothies. . . .
272 pages, Library Binding
First published May 30, 2017
433 people want to read
About the author
Lisa Greenwald
37 books469 followersA long bio can be kind of boring, so instead I'm going to pretend
that a famous journalist (maybe Barbara Walters) is interviewing me.
The only thing is, I'm making up the questions.
If you think of any other questions you'd like me to answer, send me an email and ask away!
Q. Where did you grow up?
A. I lived in Fairfield, Connecticut until the end of fifth grade and then I moved to Roslyn Heights, New York. That's on Long Island. But I don't have a bad Lawn Guyland accent, I promise.
Q. Do you have any siblings?
A. Yes, I have two younger brothers. I always wanted a sister, but it's kind of nice being the only daughter in the family, and my brothers and I are really close.
Q. What about the rest of your family? Are you close with them too?
A. Yes, family is really important to me. I talk to my parents and grandparents every day.
Q. Are you married?
A. Yes, to a fabulous guy named Dave. We met at sleep away camp when I was sixteen.
Q. Do you have any kids?
A. Yes, my daughter Aleah Violet Rosenberg was born on May 28th, 2010 and I personally think she's the cutest baby in the world, but of course I am biased.
Q. Do you have any pets?
A. I had a miniature toy poodle named Yoffi, but he died in 2007. I miss him so much.
Q. That's sad. Do you think you will get another dog?
A. I would love to adopt one very soon!
Q. What is your favorite book?
A. Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt is my favorite book in the whole entire world. I read it in sixth grade in Ms. Mayer's class. I have read many books since then, but Tuck Everlasting is still my absolute favorite.
Q. What is your favorite movie?
A. I have two. Clueless and Avalon.
Q. What's one of the craziest things that's ever happened to you?
A. I won a radio contest at the end of eighth grade! Someone from Z100 called me up and asked me to say the "phrase that pays" and I answered correctly. I won a thousand dollars.
Q. Did you always want to be a writer?
A. No, not always. I wanted to be a hair stylist, then a concert pianist, then a rabbi. But I always loved making up stories, so I think writing is the perfect job for me.
Q. Where did you go to college?
A. I went to Binghamton University in upstate New York. I was an English major with a concentration in creative writing. It's reallllllllly cold in Binghamton. Then two years after I graduated college, I went to The New School to get my MFA in writing for children.
Q. You mentioned that you met Dave at sleep away camp. Did you really like sleep away camp?
A. YES! I loved it. I went to Eisner Camp in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. I would go back to camp forever if only I could. Sleep away camp is the best place in the world.
Q. Tell me some other things you really like.
A. Okay. Here's a short list: sleeping late, fancy hotels, reading and writing (duh!,) peanut m&ms, flip flops, sweatpants, people watching, New York City, cheese omelets, weddings, pedicures, looking at old pictures and re-reading old cards and letters.
Q. Tell me some things you really dislike.
A. Peas, mean people, rats and mice, sweating, pants and skirts with a side zipper, spicy food, uncomfortable shoes, people clipping their nails on the subway, feeling lonely or thinking about other people who might feel lonely.
Q. MY LIFE IN PINK & GREEN is about a pharmacy. Do you really like pharmacies?
A. Yes, I love them! I love the way they smell and the way the aisles are arranged. I love when the pharmacists know the customers and I love looking at all the beauty products.
Q. Do you write every day?
A. I try to, but in addition to writing I also work in the library at The Birch Wathen Lenox School in Manhattan. I love being around kids and books and talking to kids about books!
Q. I don't have any more questions. Is there anything else you'd like to add?
A. Just that I hope readers like my book, and I'd love to hear from all of them if they want to talk to me!
that a famous journalist (maybe Barbara Walters) is interviewing me.
The only thing is, I'm making up the questions.
If you think of any other questions you'd like me to answer, send me an email and ask away!
Q. Where did you grow up?
A. I lived in Fairfield, Connecticut until the end of fifth grade and then I moved to Roslyn Heights, New York. That's on Long Island. But I don't have a bad Lawn Guyland accent, I promise.
Q. Do you have any siblings?
A. Yes, I have two younger brothers. I always wanted a sister, but it's kind of nice being the only daughter in the family, and my brothers and I are really close.
Q. What about the rest of your family? Are you close with them too?
A. Yes, family is really important to me. I talk to my parents and grandparents every day.
Q. Are you married?
A. Yes, to a fabulous guy named Dave. We met at sleep away camp when I was sixteen.
Q. Do you have any kids?
A. Yes, my daughter Aleah Violet Rosenberg was born on May 28th, 2010 and I personally think she's the cutest baby in the world, but of course I am biased.
Q. Do you have any pets?
A. I had a miniature toy poodle named Yoffi, but he died in 2007. I miss him so much.
Q. That's sad. Do you think you will get another dog?
A. I would love to adopt one very soon!
Q. What is your favorite book?
A. Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt is my favorite book in the whole entire world. I read it in sixth grade in Ms. Mayer's class. I have read many books since then, but Tuck Everlasting is still my absolute favorite.
Q. What is your favorite movie?
A. I have two. Clueless and Avalon.
Q. What's one of the craziest things that's ever happened to you?
A. I won a radio contest at the end of eighth grade! Someone from Z100 called me up and asked me to say the "phrase that pays" and I answered correctly. I won a thousand dollars.
Q. Did you always want to be a writer?
A. No, not always. I wanted to be a hair stylist, then a concert pianist, then a rabbi. But I always loved making up stories, so I think writing is the perfect job for me.
Q. Where did you go to college?
A. I went to Binghamton University in upstate New York. I was an English major with a concentration in creative writing. It's reallllllllly cold in Binghamton. Then two years after I graduated college, I went to The New School to get my MFA in writing for children.
Q. You mentioned that you met Dave at sleep away camp. Did you really like sleep away camp?
A. YES! I loved it. I went to Eisner Camp in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. I would go back to camp forever if only I could. Sleep away camp is the best place in the world.
Q. Tell me some other things you really like.
A. Okay. Here's a short list: sleeping late, fancy hotels, reading and writing (duh!,) peanut m&ms, flip flops, sweatpants, people watching, New York City, cheese omelets, weddings, pedicures, looking at old pictures and re-reading old cards and letters.
Q. Tell me some things you really dislike.
A. Peas, mean people, rats and mice, sweating, pants and skirts with a side zipper, spicy food, uncomfortable shoes, people clipping their nails on the subway, feeling lonely or thinking about other people who might feel lonely.
Q. MY LIFE IN PINK & GREEN is about a pharmacy. Do you really like pharmacies?
A. Yes, I love them! I love the way they smell and the way the aisles are arranged. I love when the pharmacists know the customers and I love looking at all the beauty products.
Q. Do you write every day?
A. I try to, but in addition to writing I also work in the library at The Birch Wathen Lenox School in Manhattan. I love being around kids and books and talking to kids about books!
Q. I don't have any more questions. Is there anything else you'd like to add?
A. Just that I hope readers like my book, and I'd love to hear from all of them if they want to talk to me!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
January 16, 2018
This was a fun book. The whole theme of it was funny and yet carried significant consequences. It was intriguing and it was plausible. It was definitely funny and the romance was heartbreaking and then sweet. If you don't want to need to think about much and want something to get your mind off things, this book is for you.
June 5, 2017
Note: ARC received via Amazon Vine.
Greenwald manages to write with a voice that will attract a certain subset of tweens, but herein lies the problem. The book is meant for a slightly older crowd. The main characters have just finished junior year od high school. They are shallow as all get out and only have boys and money and revenge on the mind. To get that, they resort to deceptions throughout and are never called on any of it or face consequences. Instead of taking the book into the dark corners of what Mia and Justine are doing, the author opts to go for "humor" and lightness. At no point did I feel as if anything was at stake for the characters who mostly come off as mean girls lite, the outsiders version.
So, here are the charges:
Cyberbullying/stalking
Deceiving employer
Stealing from employer
The goal of the characters is to be noticed, be skinny, and have boys. The above issues aren't even recognized as issues including the fact one of the girls, Mia, is normal sized but thinks she's fat and decides to basically go on a juice diet for which she is praised when it's obvious she's lost weight. So yeah, it's a light read, but it's not a good one when you really look at how issues are brushed aside. Please, do not support this book.
Greenwald manages to write with a voice that will attract a certain subset of tweens, but herein lies the problem. The book is meant for a slightly older crowd. The main characters have just finished junior year od high school. They are shallow as all get out and only have boys and money and revenge on the mind. To get that, they resort to deceptions throughout and are never called on any of it or face consequences. Instead of taking the book into the dark corners of what Mia and Justine are doing, the author opts to go for "humor" and lightness. At no point did I feel as if anything was at stake for the characters who mostly come off as mean girls lite, the outsiders version.
So, here are the charges:
Cyberbullying/stalking
Deceiving employer
Stealing from employer
The goal of the characters is to be noticed, be skinny, and have boys. The above issues aren't even recognized as issues including the fact one of the girls, Mia, is normal sized but thinks she's fat and decides to basically go on a juice diet for which she is praised when it's obvious she's lost weight. So yeah, it's a light read, but it's not a good one when you really look at how issues are brushed aside. Please, do not support this book.
February 27, 2018
TLDR: Wish I could toss this into a blender.
This was such a disappointment. The title grabbed my attention, I found the premise hilarious. At the very least I expected a fluffy, light, YA romance/coming of age romp; and then I read it. Sadly, this book was simply awful.
Reading the book jacket or Goodreads synopsis is misleading; it feels like there will be some depth despite the teenage shenanigans. At least you'd hope so with a YA book that includes stalking, catfishing, deceiving an employer, unhealthy dieting, slut shaming, characters basing self worth on attention from boys/sexual experience, right? Otherwise why the hell would you publish this book for a YA audience? But no.
For all the authors explaining (and boy does she ever love to explain e v e r y t h i n g - show, don't tell, please!) that Mia and Justine are being enterprising and empowering themselves - there's not much, barely even a little bit, of it. Through "Katie", the fake online persona they've made, the girls do learn to recognize confidence in themselves (good!) but that newfound confidence is also tied up in each of them finding boyfriends (nice, sweet boys, awww - JK, insert eye roll here). Hopefully this was unintentionally done, but it's definitely there. All the supposed personal growth is summed up in just BRIEF "hey, we should like ourselves just as we are and not based on our weight/looks/popularity/dating status" and "that was a bad thing we did, we own that" conversations at the end. Too little, too late.
Here's the other 99% of the book, if you're still reading this (or just skip to the last paragraph):
Mia is relatable inasmuch as she feels invisible/undesirable because she isn't one of the perfect pretty girls, who she calls "The Skinnies", and yes, body image is a common teen concern. But her character is reduced to her dieting. By what little I can tell, she's still a conventionally pretty, white teen of average weight and build - though Mia calls herself "chubby." It's implied that she is dumped because she's "chubby," so she's determined to lose weight. After a few days of "Operation Skinny", with balanced meals like the 5 blueberries and a cheese stick breakfast, an early morning craving leads her to finding the smoothie shop that brings the duos financial success. After that, we don't hear anything about "Operation Skinny" - just kidding! All Mia eats that summer are smoothies and the occasional order of cheese fries she shares with Justine at the diner, we get regular updates of her weight loss, and other female characters compliment her on the weight loss.
Justine is a loyal friend, and I definitely related to her wanting to avenge Mia's pain, but her straight-talk, bold manner gets rude and dismissive. In her mind, she's angry that Mia's ex takes up so much of Mia's thoughts, but what she says sounds, I'm sad to say, plain bitchy. Her intentions/human weakness (no one is the perfect friend ALL the time, I know) is never addressed in any way really.
I think that's a big part of why this book bothers me - everything, no matter how problematic,
is just fine. There are plenty of stories that include friends or whoever being flawed humans, but the flaws are clearly pointed out as such and part of the resolution is addressing those behaviors. That doesn't happen in this book, and it doesn't feel intentional, like these characters are antiheroes. This isn't a satire about upper/upper-middle class Connecticut teens and their town of yoga moms, "chubby moms" (that is a actual description from the book), nice guys, who are also quirky and gorgeous (one is basically manic pixie dream boy) and rare treasures among the shallow, sex-driven boys. This is not self-aware in any sense. Yes, the girls acknowledge that their revenge scheme is petty and cruel, and they should never do it again, but like I said earlier, too little, too late, because honestly the revenge scheme is a drop in the ocean of all the shitty things going on.
Unfortunately, there's a lot more to dislike, but this will go on forever so I'll just take a moment more to address the actual writing. God, it was awful. The author has no grasp of authentic teen voice or sense of time; it's like the text is exactly the same as when she started writing in 2007 but with some updated app/social media names put in - poorly. The dialogue manages to be both awkwardly formal, in the out-of-touch-adult -trying-to -talk -the -kids -do way AND too juvenile, making the characters sound like 13/14 yr olds rather than 17. She also wrote in the "likes", like, how they'd probably talk but like, how you shouldn't actually write since it's like, annoying as hell. Especially when it's not consistent. The point of view switched between Mia and Justine, and the chapters were very short. Neither felt necessary, except when it came to the romance plot lines, since both girls hide their feelings/love interests from the other (for no explained reason). The switching and chapter length felt sloppy and strangely-paced. And the chapter titles...author did a gimmicky smoothie name and "recipe" for each title. It was cute for the first handful, but for 55 chapters in only 261 pages, it got annoying quickly. Especially since the "recipe" was just an ingredient list, no quantities or directions included, and in nearly every chapter the smoothie was described by title and ingredients by the girls for no purposeful reason (again: SHOW, don't tell! Especially since you already told us once! Please!). Then there was the oddly developed yet ignored characters that could have been left out or should have been developed more - particularly Mia's widower dad and Justine's parents, who only ever fight or watch tv (her dad) and sleep (her mom). Those could have been interesting and substantial relationships to explore.
Sigh.
Yet another depiction of teen life reinforcing negative tropes and behaviors. It's a shame.
This was such a disappointment. The title grabbed my attention, I found the premise hilarious. At the very least I expected a fluffy, light, YA romance/coming of age romp; and then I read it. Sadly, this book was simply awful.
Reading the book jacket or Goodreads synopsis is misleading; it feels like there will be some depth despite the teenage shenanigans. At least you'd hope so with a YA book that includes stalking, catfishing, deceiving an employer, unhealthy dieting, slut shaming, characters basing self worth on attention from boys/sexual experience, right? Otherwise why the hell would you publish this book for a YA audience? But no.
For all the authors explaining (and boy does she ever love to explain e v e r y t h i n g - show, don't tell, please!) that Mia and Justine are being enterprising and empowering themselves - there's not much, barely even a little bit, of it. Through "Katie", the fake online persona they've made, the girls do learn to recognize confidence in themselves (good!) but that newfound confidence is also tied up in each of them finding boyfriends (nice, sweet boys, awww - JK, insert eye roll here). Hopefully this was unintentionally done, but it's definitely there. All the supposed personal growth is summed up in just BRIEF "hey, we should like ourselves just as we are and not based on our weight/looks/popularity/dating status" and "that was a bad thing we did, we own that" conversations at the end. Too little, too late.
Here's the other 99% of the book, if you're still reading this (or just skip to the last paragraph):
Mia is relatable inasmuch as she feels invisible/undesirable because she isn't one of the perfect pretty girls, who she calls "The Skinnies", and yes, body image is a common teen concern. But her character is reduced to her dieting. By what little I can tell, she's still a conventionally pretty, white teen of average weight and build - though Mia calls herself "chubby." It's implied that she is dumped because she's "chubby," so she's determined to lose weight. After a few days of "Operation Skinny", with balanced meals like the 5 blueberries and a cheese stick breakfast, an early morning craving leads her to finding the smoothie shop that brings the duos financial success. After that, we don't hear anything about "Operation Skinny" - just kidding! All Mia eats that summer are smoothies and the occasional order of cheese fries she shares with Justine at the diner, we get regular updates of her weight loss, and other female characters compliment her on the weight loss.
Justine is a loyal friend, and I definitely related to her wanting to avenge Mia's pain, but her straight-talk, bold manner gets rude and dismissive. In her mind, she's angry that Mia's ex takes up so much of Mia's thoughts, but what she says sounds, I'm sad to say, plain bitchy. Her intentions/human weakness (no one is the perfect friend ALL the time, I know) is never addressed in any way really.
I think that's a big part of why this book bothers me - everything, no matter how problematic,
is just fine. There are plenty of stories that include friends or whoever being flawed humans, but the flaws are clearly pointed out as such and part of the resolution is addressing those behaviors. That doesn't happen in this book, and it doesn't feel intentional, like these characters are antiheroes. This isn't a satire about upper/upper-middle class Connecticut teens and their town of yoga moms, "chubby moms" (that is a actual description from the book), nice guys, who are also quirky and gorgeous (one is basically manic pixie dream boy) and rare treasures among the shallow, sex-driven boys. This is not self-aware in any sense. Yes, the girls acknowledge that their revenge scheme is petty and cruel, and they should never do it again, but like I said earlier, too little, too late, because honestly the revenge scheme is a drop in the ocean of all the shitty things going on.
Unfortunately, there's a lot more to dislike, but this will go on forever so I'll just take a moment more to address the actual writing. God, it was awful. The author has no grasp of authentic teen voice or sense of time; it's like the text is exactly the same as when she started writing in 2007 but with some updated app/social media names put in - poorly. The dialogue manages to be both awkwardly formal, in the out-of-touch-adult -trying-to -talk -the -kids -do way AND too juvenile, making the characters sound like 13/14 yr olds rather than 17. She also wrote in the "likes", like, how they'd probably talk but like, how you shouldn't actually write since it's like, annoying as hell. Especially when it's not consistent. The point of view switched between Mia and Justine, and the chapters were very short. Neither felt necessary, except when it came to the romance plot lines, since both girls hide their feelings/love interests from the other (for no explained reason). The switching and chapter length felt sloppy and strangely-paced. And the chapter titles...author did a gimmicky smoothie name and "recipe" for each title. It was cute for the first handful, but for 55 chapters in only 261 pages, it got annoying quickly. Especially since the "recipe" was just an ingredient list, no quantities or directions included, and in nearly every chapter the smoothie was described by title and ingredients by the girls for no purposeful reason (again: SHOW, don't tell! Especially since you already told us once! Please!). Then there was the oddly developed yet ignored characters that could have been left out or should have been developed more - particularly Mia's widower dad and Justine's parents, who only ever fight or watch tv (her dad) and sleep (her mom). Those could have been interesting and substantial relationships to explore.
Sigh.
Yet another depiction of teen life reinforcing negative tropes and behaviors. It's a shame.
February 27, 2017
Note: I'm filling this review with spoilers but they will be hidden for those of you who want to read this novel in the future. If you don't intend to read it, click away on all those little spoiler links!
Synopsis: Mia and Justine are best friends who are slated to work in a snow cone van all summer (Mobile Cones, which is admittedly a great name). Shortly before this happens, Mia's boyfriend Seth cheats on her and dumps her. Mia is devastated and still in love with Seth, so to help her heal, Justine decides that the logical move is to create a fake Facebook account and fool Seth into falling in love with this made-up girl over the summer before breaking his heart the way he broke Mia's. But both Mia and Justine find themselves eyeing other guys over the summer, which complicates things. Oh and they also discover that no one wants to buy snow cones, and they start an illicit but profitable smoothie operation instead.
This book started off with 'summer beach read' potential but spiraled into 'I hate these people and their poor life choices' about half way through. Here are my issues with this book:
1) The narrators. I disliked both Mia and Justine more and more every chapter. Mia's whole shtick is that she's supposed to be mooning over Seth, but: Also, it alarmed me how Mia's response to getting dumped was to starve herself to lose weight so she could look prettier. Oh girl. Just... just no. And Justine isn't any more likable: she decides that smoothies are more profitable than snow cones, and uses the van as a front for her and Mia's personal side business. Then she deposits all the smoothie money in a secret bank account. If that were to happen in real life, you would get SO fired if your boss found out. That's just a really terrible employee right there. She also goes way overboard with the whole fake Facebook girl thing, and does it more for selfish reasons than for Mia's sake. I actually saw more emotional depth and likability from Seth's character, and he's supposed to be the villain.
2) The lack of maturity/growth: Mia and Justine are flawed individuals - this is not inherently a bad thing. In fact, I remember noting a few chapters in that I liked how they were flawed and immature. They're teenagers. Of course they are. But as the book went on, there was no genuine growth. Every hint of maturity is pure lip service. At the end of the novel, Also,
3) The end of the novel. This last bit is just one big spoiler:
So, yeah. I wouldn't recommend this one, not even for a summer beach read. The morals are questionable and the characters are frustratingly self-serving and shallow.
Synopsis: Mia and Justine are best friends who are slated to work in a snow cone van all summer (Mobile Cones, which is admittedly a great name). Shortly before this happens, Mia's boyfriend Seth cheats on her and dumps her. Mia is devastated and still in love with Seth, so to help her heal, Justine decides that the logical move is to create a fake Facebook account and fool Seth into falling in love with this made-up girl over the summer before breaking his heart the way he broke Mia's. But both Mia and Justine find themselves eyeing other guys over the summer, which complicates things. Oh and they also discover that no one wants to buy snow cones, and they start an illicit but profitable smoothie operation instead.
This book started off with 'summer beach read' potential but spiraled into 'I hate these people and their poor life choices' about half way through. Here are my issues with this book:
1) The narrators. I disliked both Mia and Justine more and more every chapter. Mia's whole shtick is that she's supposed to be mooning over Seth, but: Also, it alarmed me how Mia's response to getting dumped was to starve herself to lose weight so she could look prettier. Oh girl. Just... just no. And Justine isn't any more likable: she decides that smoothies are more profitable than snow cones, and uses the van as a front for her and Mia's personal side business. Then she deposits all the smoothie money in a secret bank account. If that were to happen in real life, you would get SO fired if your boss found out. That's just a really terrible employee right there. She also goes way overboard with the whole fake Facebook girl thing, and does it more for selfish reasons than for Mia's sake. I actually saw more emotional depth and likability from Seth's character, and he's supposed to be the villain.
2) The lack of maturity/growth: Mia and Justine are flawed individuals - this is not inherently a bad thing. In fact, I remember noting a few chapters in that I liked how they were flawed and immature. They're teenagers. Of course they are. But as the book went on, there was no genuine growth. Every hint of maturity is pure lip service. At the end of the novel, Also,
3) The end of the novel. This last bit is just one big spoiler:
So, yeah. I wouldn't recommend this one, not even for a summer beach read. The morals are questionable and the characters are frustratingly self-serving and shallow.
July 12, 2017
This book was a good and funny, relatable novel, I would totally recommend reading it after a break up for extra relatable-ness, it also has inspired me to try to make smoothies lol
January 3, 2020
I didn't really like the book but.... there were recipes for shakes and smoothies on every chapter so... I liked that part ;)
March 8, 2018
I like my book. I like this book because the book doesn't give away to much. It was appropriate for my age. I would recommend this book. It has a lot of drama and a lot of funny things happen. People my age that like drama books would like this book.
August 27, 2017
I was predisposed to like this because I know the author (the daughter of a classmate) and I liked her first book, My Life in Pink and Green. It's always nice to have preconceived positive opinions confirmed in the reading. What could be bad about a book where every chapter begins with a smoothie recipe? Other than a bit of confusion with the shifting points of view, this is a great fun read.
November 17, 2019
Wow, what a toxic book. This book is clearly aimed at younger girls and not only teaches them terrible behaviours and expectations but also that actions have zero real world consequences.
Literally the main concept of the book is that these two girls are cat-fishing one of the girls’ ex, for really no other reason that they want to crush his own self esteem. Yeah her boyfriend was kind of a jerk but cat fishing someone it’s bat shit crazy and completely unacceptable behaviour. . They also run a back end business making smoothies out of one of their step-uncle’s snow cone business. The romances in this novel are sloppy and felt slapped together at the last minute. Obviously none of the character see any significant growth other than they’re less mopey about their ex and that you too can be skinny if you only drink smoothies for an entire summer!
The friendship in this book is mediocre at best because even though they open up to each other in the end they keep so many secrets from each other, you wonder if they even actually like each other. Honestly what kept me reading was to see if these two brats actually got to see any of their deserved consequences but they literally saw nothing!!!
Please do not let your impressionable daughter read this book it will only give her unrealistic expectations about relationships and teach her that their are no consequences for hurting, manipulating, lying, and cheating other people in life. There are so many better ya books don’t waste your time on this one.
P.S feel free to read the spoilers, this book isn’t worth the read anyways.
Literally the main concept of the book is that these two girls are cat-fishing one of the girls’ ex, for really no other reason that they want to crush his own self esteem. Yeah her boyfriend was kind of a jerk but cat fishing someone it’s bat shit crazy and completely unacceptable behaviour. . They also run a back end business making smoothies out of one of their step-uncle’s snow cone business. The romances in this novel are sloppy and felt slapped together at the last minute. Obviously none of the character see any significant growth other than they’re less mopey about their ex and that you too can be skinny if you only drink smoothies for an entire summer!
The friendship in this book is mediocre at best because even though they open up to each other in the end they keep so many secrets from each other, you wonder if they even actually like each other. Honestly what kept me reading was to see if these two brats actually got to see any of their deserved consequences but they literally saw nothing!!!
Please do not let your impressionable daughter read this book it will only give her unrealistic expectations about relationships and teach her that their are no consequences for hurting, manipulating, lying, and cheating other people in life. There are so many better ya books don’t waste your time on this one.
P.S feel free to read the spoilers, this book isn’t worth the read anyways.
June 24, 2020
This book had the potential to be a fun YA summer book like Katie Finn's "Broken Hearts and Revenge" series which I absolutely loved. However, this book was a total let down. I was only interested in reading it because of the catchy title and cover art, it really sparked an interest.
The characters had no dimension and there was no character development in either of the main characters, which trust me, is an issue because the main characters do not have many redeeming qualities. The entire premise of this book seems to be, "if you're a girl and you're single and not skinny you're unhappy and have nothing to live for". Really, I'm not kidding. This book is a total blah.
The characters had no dimension and there was no character development in either of the main characters, which trust me, is an issue because the main characters do not have many redeeming qualities. The entire premise of this book seems to be, "if you're a girl and you're single and not skinny you're unhappy and have nothing to live for". Really, I'm not kidding. This book is a total blah.
December 5, 2019
Okay yeah I know I apparently have no regard for “literary merit” because ya know this book was kinda trash but yet here I am liking it anyway. The writing left something to be desired (can someone please tell middle aged writers to stop trying SO hard to be “relatable to the teens?” I mean #okboomer amirite). Also— the cover dear lord. I wouldn’t have even picked up this book if my friend hadn’t recommended it because frankly the cover is slightly atrocious. But like I thought it was a good story line and a great guilty pleasure book.
January 24, 2019
I was really hoping this would be a hilarious light read because the title made me laugh out loud. Sadly, it is the worst YA novel I have ever read! Characters made horrible decisions (cat-fishing an ex-boyfriend??) that lead to no consequences or growth. Random ending that slapping me in the face during the last two pages. One pro, each chapter begins with a smoothie recipe.
June 4, 2017
I'll say 2.5 stars. I was really hoping this would be another summer/beach read to the likes of Katie Finn.
It just... wasn't.
It just... wasn't.
June 14, 2017
Not what I expected from this book..
June 22, 2017
A quick summer read....but this had no morals, or characters of substance, or real consequence of actions. Such a piece of fluff.
August 26, 2018
This was an amazing book with a twist ending in my point of view, and I love Lisa Greenwald.
February 6, 2019
A fun and light read, but don't look too hard or you'll see a lot of fan-fiction type writing.
July 11, 2019
I think I needed to be twelve to appreciate this one...
August 4, 2019
I didn’t finish the book. I tried and at first thought it would be better for younger crowds because these girls sound very young to me, like middle school. But I just didn’t like it so I stopped.
February 25, 2019
I loved this book so much❤❤❤! This is a highly recommended book for pre-teens as well as teens. I loved the idea of Katie, and I thought it was hilarious😄. I read the acknowledgements, and Lisa Greenwald actually wanted to call it "Stalkers." I think that this would've been an okay title, but it wouldn't have emphasized the fact of how Mia and Justine became a HUGE hit because of their smoothies. (The epic kale made me laugh out loud!😂)
In my opinion, Mia and Dennis is a total ship.💕 I cannot tell you how much a gated Seth. . . . Really for no apparent reason. I was kind of sceptical about Emmett at first, the way she took Justine into that room and locked the doors. And plus, when he first came up to the smoothie stand and he said he was a banker, I pictured a very friendly middle-aged man. Bennett's personality turned out to be fantastic, and just right for Justine.😍
One thing I wanted to know how heavy Mia really was! And did Seth ditch her just because she was FAT?! 😠
I loved the ending where they arrived in the helicopter 🚁😂
And I loved the book overall. Even though I feel a surge of rage towards Seth 😡😤
In my opinion, Mia and Dennis is a total ship.💕 I cannot tell you how much a gated Seth. . . . Really for no apparent reason. I was kind of sceptical about Emmett at first, the way she took Justine into that room and locked the doors. And plus, when he first came up to the smoothie stand and he said he was a banker, I pictured a very friendly middle-aged man. Bennett's personality turned out to be fantastic, and just right for Justine.😍
One thing I wanted to know how heavy Mia really was! And did Seth ditch her just because she was FAT?! 😠
I loved the ending where they arrived in the helicopter 🚁😂
And I loved the book overall. Even though I feel a surge of rage towards Seth 😡😤
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 9, 2020
If you’re looking for like serious lit with a complicated analysis on the teen condition, this isn’t for you. If you want to have fun, are ready to overlook crazy and borderline psychotic girls, are looking for a grown adult to call teens kissing “hooking up”, and want to see the sentence “we are going into senior year with boyfriends!!” thirty times, this is the book for you.
I would recommend if you are trying to get out of a reading slump. There isn’t much you have to figure out or reread; it is kind of just enjoy the ride. It’s like talking to the wannabe popular girls that wear those really fuzzy jackets and have obsessive crushes and will probably grow up to get excited over hobby lobby pillows. And tbh im excited for them. This was overall the feeling of having friends and getting to hear all the drama. And I love that feeling tbh.
And now I kind of want to learn the losing Vice Presidents of every year that would be so cool to know.
I would recommend if you are trying to get out of a reading slump. There isn’t much you have to figure out or reread; it is kind of just enjoy the ride. It’s like talking to the wannabe popular girls that wear those really fuzzy jackets and have obsessive crushes and will probably grow up to get excited over hobby lobby pillows. And tbh im excited for them. This was overall the feeling of having friends and getting to hear all the drama. And I love that feeling tbh.
And now I kind of want to learn the losing Vice Presidents of every year that would be so cool to know.
October 9, 2018
2.5*
I had many issues with this book, but I also found myself enjoying certain parts a lot.
Dennis’ and Emmett’s characters were my favorites. They were adorable and semi cliched but I found them the most likable.
Mia and Justine on the other hand-
I found them really unlikable. Especially Justine.
And Seth-
Oh my lord Seth-
May I just say that 1) I NEVER once in that book felt that Seth was “in love” with “Katie”. That process felt rushed if anything.
2) He was just a douchebag end of story.
But I did like the side smoothie business. A lot. It made me want to find our blender and become a kale enthusiast like Mia.
A big redemption for me were the Fleetwood Mac references. We love taste.
And not even gonna lie I lowkey lived for the helicopter scene.
Overall, it wasn’t necessarily bad. But I don’t see myself picking it up again.
I had many issues with this book, but I also found myself enjoying certain parts a lot.
Dennis’ and Emmett’s characters were my favorites. They were adorable and semi cliched but I found them the most likable.
Mia and Justine on the other hand-
I found them really unlikable. Especially Justine.
And Seth-
Oh my lord Seth-
May I just say that 1) I NEVER once in that book felt that Seth was “in love” with “Katie”. That process felt rushed if anything.
2) He was just a douchebag end of story.
But I did like the side smoothie business. A lot. It made me want to find our blender and become a kale enthusiast like Mia.
A big redemption for me were the Fleetwood Mac references. We love taste.
And not even gonna lie I lowkey lived for the helicopter scene.
Overall, it wasn’t necessarily bad. But I don’t see myself picking it up again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 8, 2017
This book kept me hooked, I'll give it that. Although there were a lot of things about it that annoyed me. Once the whole catfish scene started it took a long time for it to actually go anywhere and end. Like the entire book was spent with them trying to get to a point where they thought Seth would be interested in katie. And the side stories the two of them kept a secret from each other for confusing. The constant change of narrators as well. I often got confused about who "she" was referring to. The endings all resolved for the most part although I wish there was more closure for the ending of the story as far as Seth was concerned. But the characters overall were very relatable for the average teenage girl which I liked.
June 23, 2018
2.5
I picked this up as kind of a joke... I mean look at the title! Both ridiculous and absolutely something I'd read for fun. It was better than I expected, being funny and relatively relatable, but I didn't love the characters. Both girls sounded the same and I didn't agree with multiple of their actions at all. It wasn't the best written book, sometimes the syntax felt awkward or the pacing weird, but it was a quick read and interesting enough and inspired me to write and make smoothies. The smoothies at the beginning of each chapter were one of my favorite parts!
I picked this up as kind of a joke... I mean look at the title! Both ridiculous and absolutely something I'd read for fun. It was better than I expected, being funny and relatively relatable, but I didn't love the characters. Both girls sounded the same and I didn't agree with multiple of their actions at all. It wasn't the best written book, sometimes the syntax felt awkward or the pacing weird, but it was a quick read and interesting enough and inspired me to write and make smoothies. The smoothies at the beginning of each chapter were one of my favorite parts!
June 28, 2018
A really fun read that as a teenage girl, I found extremely relatable. It went a little crazy with the girls’ plot about Seth (no spoilers), but fun to read about. I actually loved the book until the last scene (again, omitting spoilers) because I didn’t think it was at all realistic or sent the right message. The book was also a little obsessed with weight loss, which is maybe true to teenage girls but also maybe not the best message.
Overall though, a super fun quick read that reminded me of my own life in a lot of ways.
Overall though, a super fun quick read that reminded me of my own life in a lot of ways.
May 22, 2020
This was pretty lame for a even for a YA book. Guess that is why it was in a dollar bin. Plot is basically Mia's boyfriend breaks up with her she spends all summer obsessing over him while Justine makes a fake Facebook page to cyberstalk him. Supposed hilarity ensues. Except it is not funny.
Oh and Justine is also stealing from her Uncle by piggy backing onto his legal snow cone business with her own illegal smoothie business. (Permits not required in CN I guess for food trucks selling yogurt based smoothies vs. snow cones.) Highly improbable and somewhat stupid.
Oh and Justine is also stealing from her Uncle by piggy backing onto his legal snow cone business with her own illegal smoothie business. (Permits not required in CN I guess for food trucks selling yogurt based smoothies vs. snow cones.) Highly improbable and somewhat stupid.
June 19, 2017
Fun quick read about two friends and their summer before senior year.
I had a hard time figuring out who was who-their voices where alike
I wish there would have been more consequences to their actions . Starting the smoothie business while running the snow cone truck and the cat fishing of Seth- there needed to be something else.
I had a hard time figuring out who was who-their voices where alike
I wish there would have been more consequences to their actions . Starting the smoothie business while running the snow cone truck and the cat fishing of Seth- there needed to be something else.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 13, 2017
It was mediocre? Entertaining, but still just kind of meh.
The girls sounded the same, so I would constantly have to think about who was who.
There was no real substance to it.
The characters were not deep at all.
I wish there was more background, or something.
It was missing something and I am not sure exactly what it was though.
The girls sounded the same, so I would constantly have to think about who was who.
There was no real substance to it.
The characters were not deep at all.
I wish there was more background, or something.
It was missing something and I am not sure exactly what it was though.
June 17, 2020
Danielle, Central patron, June 2020, 4 stars:
This was a cute read. I took me some time to get into it. It was written from the perspective of teenage girls. At first I thought the writing was awkward, then I realized that this book just represents teenage girls really well! The descriptions of the girls' thoughts were quite authentic.
This was a cute read. I took me some time to get into it. It was written from the perspective of teenage girls. At first I thought the writing was awkward, then I realized that this book just represents teenage girls really well! The descriptions of the girls' thoughts were quite authentic.
June 30, 2021
uh, what just happened?
so they basically make a catfish account to get revenge, secretly sell smoothies behind the owner's back and not even bother telling him, randomly gets boyfriends and the next thing I know they're riding a helicopter on the first day of school?
Everything was all over the place, the characters weren't likable, even the writing was kinda off.
so they basically make a catfish account to get revenge, secretly sell smoothies behind the owner's back and not even bother telling him, randomly gets boyfriends and the next thing I know they're riding a helicopter on the first day of school?
Everything was all over the place, the characters weren't likable, even the writing was kinda off.
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