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eighteen years

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Eighteen Years is here to tell you that you are not alone. It is meant to be curled up with at night, accompanied by a cup of tea. It's a hug in book-form. It is there to comfort you when fuzzy socks and ice cream just aren't enough. It will inspire you to pick up a pen and write down thoughts of your own. It will help you to say the words that feel stuck in your chest.

Take it on the train. Take it to the beach. Keep it on your nightstand. Keep it in your backpack. Read it at the park on benches beneath hundred-year-old trees. Read it while it's raining. Read it when you're happy. Read it when your heart aches.

Eighteen Years is meant to be bent and worn, written in, tear-stained, and loved.

This book is for you.

266 pages, Paperback

First published November 17, 2015

224 people are currently reading
5263 people want to read

About the author

Madisen Kuhn

5 books775 followers
Madisen Kuhn is a poet from Charlottesville, Virginia. She likes to explore topics of identity, belonging, sexuality, and mental illness in her work.

At 19, Madisen self-published her first poetry collection, Eighteen Years, after gaining a following on Tumblr and Instagram. She went on to publish Please Don't Go Before I Get Better in 2018 with Gallery Books. Her third book, Almost Home, was a semi-finalist in the Goodreads Choice Awards — Best Poetry Books of 2019.

Her fourth collection of poetry, Bad At Existing, explores the complexities of identity, self-expression, longing, and hope—capturing the duality of wanting to be seen by the world while wanting to hide from it. It is set to be released on October 4, 2022.

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5 stars
1,022 (43%)
4 stars
687 (29%)
3 stars
437 (18%)
2 stars
159 (6%)
1 star
47 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 230 reviews
Profile Image for Giulia.
149 reviews
December 15, 2016
Her Winter 2012-2013 poems are in my opinion the best collection of poems in the book...yet that's the first 40% of the book. The book then becomes over saturated with poems towards one or multiple bad breakups and to me, they're very hard to relate to. Thus the poems became harder to get through and reflected the same theme over and over again. The last portion of poems become very Tumblr-y. It makes me sad because I saw that this book had a lot of good reviews but then came to realize it is like every other modern poetry book by social media poets.
Profile Image for Luana.
158 reviews302 followers
February 27, 2017
This collection of poems is a journey of thoughts, encounters and a multitude of emotions. Every page hosts a short passage that deals with heartbreak, anxiety, depression, love, loss and identity, amongst others. The writing truly shows how much the author poured her heart and soul into her work and bared her heart to us for a chance to understand ours. This book proved to me that words could be the best remedy for your soul. It offered me comfort when other things failed. It soaked up my tears and encouraged me not to give up in front of life's obstacles. I hope it does the same for you x
Profile Image for Meghan Hughes.
156 reviews2,256 followers
December 28, 2019
I enjoyed this a lot! I actually started reading this originally in 2016 & then kind of forgot about it until this year. Not because it was bad! But because I was bad at reading! I’m glad I finished this, though. M.K. is a great writer & I dog-eared many pages. This first book of hers I’d definitely recommend over her second as I read that too & I’m going to read her third after this & will let you know how it goes. Kuhn writes very vulnerably & mostly about love. I think the whole theme of this book was truly on love & heartbreak. She has a way of creating an interesting rhyme scheme sometimes that I wish I’d see her do more of rather than long-form/run-on poetry, but that’s just a personal preference. Either way, if you enjoy poetry, definitely read this book!
Profile Image for Gabrielle Grosbety .
133 reviews86 followers
July 28, 2020
Madisen Kuhn in this collection considers what it is to love? To feel? To live? There is a kind of lovely stream of consciousness that affects these poems in a thoughtful, meditative way, which leaves you transfixed. I can tell each of these poems were lovingly, soulfully crafted with an outpouring of honest, pure emotion that really resonated with me.

Eighteen Years in its delicate focus on what it is to be a sentient being also considers rites of passage and moments of growing up and all the messiness that comes along with that and I appreciate that Kuhn never underestimates the intricacies of that process.

This is also the perfect go-to book of poetry if your heart, mind, and body is going through and experiencing a lot and I love that all the while all of these important themes are coming from the young, promising voice of Madisen because that truly shines the light on the importance of youth writing and sharing with the world all the bits of insight they have, especially since our generation has a lot to reflect on in sobering, necessary ways.

I overall love the attention to the way the book is designed with little scrawled drawings that capture the messages Eighteen Years is trying to get across and its ultimate essence. Additionally, the note Madisen leaves at the beginning is a lovely way for setting the scene for how you’ll experience her poetry and the note written on the back with a girl whose head has flowers blooming from it, which suggests a kind of blooming and growth of self as well is also an important mood setter: “This book is meant to bent and worn, written in, tear-stained, and loved. This book is for you.”

Even if some of the poems are shorter or feel to some like they’ve come from the aesthetic infused pages of Tumblr that doesn’t make them any less, or at least I believe it doesn’t, as they are still warmly, beautifully packed with a lot to consider and an intensity of emotion that won’t soon be forgotten.
Profile Image for Michelle.
252 reviews26 followers
March 22, 2016
I like this author's way with words. I related to some of the poems, whereas some felt more like they weren't meant to be wholly understood by me and that's okay. This author poured her heart and soul into these passages and it is to be admired, appreciated, learned from, and thought-provoking.

A good book to open up when you're feeling wistful, sad, heartbroken, or in need of some insight into the world and life.
Profile Image for Sam Villanueva.
104 reviews
February 3, 2016
I've been following Maddie on all forms on social media for almost 3 years now, so I've been around her poetry for quite some time. Reading her poetry is like that experience but compressed within the pages of this wonderful book. It's clear that she has matured both artistically and psychologically through the format of her poems and the topics. Maddie has a way with words in which I cannot even begin to comprehend. I will always love and appreciate the honesty in her poems, and, despite them being so personal and raw, are so relatable to anyone of any age who's ever experienced utter heartbreak, indescribable joy, or motivation to better themselves.
6 reviews2 followers
February 5, 2016
In this novel you go on an adventure through Madisen’s thoughts as she encounters all of the hardships of high school. Eighteen Years is a book full of emotion and thoughts. She talks about relationships, anxiety, depression, stress and all the things teenagers deal with. This novel is very deep and makes you read into your thoughts. Her writing is very short and fragmented, making it easier to read. This book is full of love and loss. In Madisen’s high school years, she encountered many boys that each made her feel a different way, she battled against anxiety and depression, and she made/lost many relationships with friends. She writes about all of the ways each moment made her feel and think. Some of her poems are very deep and dark, where in other poems she will write about how beautiful she thinks the world is. She writes poems about nature and its beauties. In the beginning of the novel, Madisen struggles greatly with her identity and how she valued herself. Then, in the end of the novel, we see that Madisen has blossomed into an inspiring young lady with a love for everything. It truly is an inspiration to see how she overcomes her struggles.
I would of course recommend this book to teenagers, both male and female because as mentioned above, Madisen writes immensely about life in high school. I feel that poetry is all about how others can relate to the writing. Therefore, when all teens struggle with identity and loss, these words can almost feel like they were meant for them because they can relate so well. I would especially recommend this novel to anyone who struggles with anxiety and depression. Madisen writes many poems about these topics. For someone who struggles daily with these things, when I read this novel I felt like I finally had someone who completely understood what I was going through. This novel made me feel safe and I would love to see it affect others that way as well. I would also recommend this novel to anyone who has ever picked up a poem and liked it. The poetry in this book is truly beautiful. It is a perfect quick read for when you’re on the go. So for anyone with a short attention span like me, I would recommend this book for you.
I have never read a poetry novel before this one. I was very pleasantly surprised with this novel. Since the poems are so short (about one per half page) I could pick up and read this book whenever. I would read a couple poems before I went to bed at night or waiting for the bell to ring at school. This book was a perfect read for me and I absolutely adored it. I have actually started writing some poetry of my own now because of how much I loved her writing. Also, for a couple of years I have struggled with anxiety and depression and that was the main draw I had to this novel. Almost half of her poems are about how she felt when anxiety was constantly following her. I have cried several times while reading this book because Madisen just “got me” and her words really moved me. I have started looking at things differently due to this novel.
Profile Image for Sarah.
216 reviews22 followers
April 28, 2020
I read this as creative material for my thesis.

"Write because you owe it to yourself to experience the freedom of ranting in ink, crumbling up the paper, throwing it in the trashcan, and feeling ike you can finally breathe again."

In this collection of poetry, Madisen Kuhn explores a transition over a period of time and transformation. The collection includes a range of poems on her desires and experiences, hopes and losses. It has a dreamlike enery to it that flows like a diary which encourages you to keep reading.

What I liked most about this piece is the clear changes that Kuhn makes. You can see her words developing and lines extending as she goes through a process of healing and shares this with her readers in varying poems like "my advice" (144).

You can tell that she is a new writer, sometimes more telling than showing. But at the same time, Kuhn seems to recognise that this isn't the most important thing about poetry, what is important is celebrating all types of writing and loves as we grow our voices and poetics.

It was just super nice to read honestly.
Profile Image for andrea ✩.
255 reviews44 followers
December 26, 2025
i really miss being able to connect with a poetry book the way i once did
Profile Image for sophie.
29 reviews1 follower
November 24, 2021
i guess 2,5. i think it‘s a beautiful written book, i just read it at the wrong time
Profile Image for Nynke Elise.
117 reviews7 followers
April 19, 2021
I loved the poetry and I'll be reading more of her!
Profile Image for Alice.
773 reviews97 followers
November 22, 2017
I can see the sun setting in the distance. the soft oranges and yellows remind me that endings can be beautiful, no matter how much I wish the sun would stay just a little while longer.

i decided i was going to read this book once i turned 18
at some point i also had to decide i was going to turn the last page before my 19th birthday
guess what
its tomorrow

this book started with so much potential, the artwork looks amazing and i liked the poetry
some pieces were particularly enjoyable and i worked on underlining them in the index (light pencil marks only!)
however it never really pulled me
in
i've read some other poetry books that kept me up a whole night, soaking in their glorious beauty
however this collection was too slow and long for that kind of experience

what got to me at some point was how similar the pieces were. the underlying message is mostly the same, or rather there are a handful of different themes that the author rotates in her poems. at some point reading about unrequited love does get boring, as relatable as it might be.

i had higher expectations for this, but having to force myself to devour the whole book in a few days because i didn't manage to finish 257 pages in a year says a lot really.
i think the tumblrish aspect of it was what intrigued me most initially, looking back i wouldn't be as excited but i'd still buy this collection and read it. i made it sound worse than it actually was, everything considered it's still pretty cute.
Profile Image for Will Hegedus.
95 reviews12 followers
January 11, 2016
Absolutely fantastic collection of poetry. The format of it is incredible as you can see Madisen grow and develop over the course of the book. Her writing gets more mature, she becomes more self-aware, and she develops a practicality in her approach to the problems she writes about. There are poems for every season of life housed within these pages. It is a collection that I will continue to read over and over again until the ink begins to fade from the pages and I have found reasons to underline every single line in the book.
Profile Image for Suzi Davenport.
92 reviews27 followers
February 3, 2016
I don't have enough good things to say about this book. Maddie's poetry made me feel a lot of things, and reading it was a very cathartic experience for all of the pain and heartbreak I've been through. Even if you don't like poetry, I think you'll like this book. It's like reading the journal of you incredibly talented and artistic best friend. And Laura's illustrations are beautiful. If I had to choose a favorite (which is so hard), it would probably be indigo. So good.
Profile Image for Morgan.
33 reviews
November 10, 2016
I personally loved this. It was something I could pick up and flip through the pages of and settle on a poem. I didn't have to go cover to cover, I could go at my own pace. And each poem offered me a smile, a thought, or a little encouragement. This book will sit on my desk, or coffee table, or wherever else it will be easily accessed. So that I can pick it up whenever I feel like it and read a couple pages. This book was something new for me, and I loved it.
Profile Image for Al Guidarini.
4 reviews1 follower
January 14, 2017
I bought this because of Madisen's few good poems that circulated tumblr. I assumed that all of her poems would be as good as those, but this book proved that wrong. 95% of the poems in this are related to being a hopeless romantic (a boring, overused topic) and the entire collections lacks interesting literary devices. These poems are written so simply. I enjoyed a few of the poems, but this book was definitely not worth the money.
Profile Image for Melissa Harrison.
1 review4 followers
April 17, 2017
I have always thought that the best books are the ones that are written with your heart and soul, and believe me, this book HAS soul. I loved the way it is written and the recurrent theme of "how to heal yourself after being hurt". It is beautiful. And I would definitely buy another book from Madisen.
Profile Image for Francesca.
432 reviews83 followers
March 25, 2017
2.5 stars
This collection is full of poems in which the author complains about a nasty breakup. I didn't relate with them at all and, for that reason, I found them a bit boring and repetitive. There are some pages that I bookmarked and that I liked, but they are not many.
2 reviews2 followers
February 3, 2017
Madisen Kuhn's prospective of a young teen and the struggles are beautifully written in this poetry book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Laz Mercz.
78 reviews9 followers
April 3, 2017
Honestly, this is one of the most relatable pieces of creative work I've ever read!

An all time favourite which i will continually revisit time and time again.
Profile Image for Lena.
4 reviews
August 7, 2017
Madisen had a way with words. Beautiful collection. Loved it
Profile Image for Alexandra.
32 reviews
September 5, 2022
i cry to feel emotion
to sympathize
to confirm my mortality
[...]
but the worst is when i cannot cry
i beg the tears to trickle down my face,
only for me to wipe them away
the absence of them
makes me feel like
my sentiments aren’t true
they’re fraud, phony, insincere

cry

“everything you’ve ever loved has been loved before, and everything you are has already been,”
[...]
And so be it, that I am grey and humming in the background. I am forgotten Sundays and chipped fingernail polish and borrowed sheets. I’m the song you’ll get stuck in your head, but it will remind you of someone else.
[...]
And I am everywhere, and I am nothing at all.

Kathleen

but i’m too emotional and i fall too deep to give that much of myself again to someone who never asked for any of it in the first place.
red ink

And I don’t want to keep living
like fragments of a person anymore

Letters to You

i still find it hard to believe myself
when i tell myself
that i am being strong

you again

i want to dye
my hair and tattoo my skin
so that the changes
you’ve been noticing in me
look like they’re
on purpose.

i don’t know who i am right now, but let’s pretend i do

because i am a messy cliché of imperfect scraps and hypocrisy loosely sewn together with
“you are strong you are strong you are strong,”
but i feel so weak i feel so weak i feel so weak

i'm just as broken as you are

and the saddest part
is that i almost let myself fall
back into becoming that
lifeless, empty girl
once more because i thought it might
make you love me again.

limerence

and I realized that
there’s no use in praying for
the absence of pain
because it will always find you
[...]
you’re not just surviving, you are alive.

maybe we get hurt just to heal

I’m at the point where I can go from feeling so much to so little in an instant. My emotions are all disarray.
seasons of grace

i wish i could peel up the floorboards
and lie beneath them
there i could hide in still silence,
but it still wouldn’t be completely
silent because i cannot leave my
mind behind

not that you asked

and so desperately,
i wish i could
let the thoughts in my head
fall

fall

Here’s something you seldom hear: don’t always listen to your heart. Because if your heart is like mine, it’s often fickle and confused. Emotions aren’t always true, they may come and go with the wind. Feelings trick us into believing lies.
september seventeenth

it's as if my house is sighing
it's sighing at me
disappointed in me

double meaning

maybe i don't eat
because i want my skin
to be transparent
i want people to see me
for who i truly am

save me

i don't want to sleep
because i don't want to wake up
and be the same person

you hurt me

i never have to trim my nails
because of the anxiety that
has made itself at home
in the pit of my stomach

patience

i feel trapped inside of my feverish skin
and i wish i could escape it,
because i don't want to be myself today
[...]
yesterday, i was so happy and hopeful,
inspired and alive
i lit candles and sang along to the radio
and grinned and felt completely intact
but today, i'm in pieces
i feel hollow and meaningless
i don't get why my feelings change so quickly

march 18, 2013

because how do you stop caring?
it's not like pain
is a switch i can just turn off

better off
Profile Image for Emily.
254 reviews3 followers
May 27, 2017
It's rare that I find my interest drawn to a book of poetry. It's not a genre that usually interests me, but I've found myself coming around to it in the world of social media tumblr/Instagram poetry. I find it inspiring that young people are finding their voices and sharing it with the masses. I didn't like this collection as much as some other ones I've read recently, but I think if I was 7 years younger I would have related to this collection deeply.
Profile Image for Jacqueline Cook.
11 reviews
August 15, 2018
4 stars from me. I’ve been following the author on social media for years and from what I’ve seen I really love her as a person. I was super excited to get the book and finally got around to reading it. Related to most of the content and when I didn’t, the writing was still good. As time goes on and she experiences more from life, I think her poems and writing will improve even more. And she’ll have even more thoughts about the world to share.
Profile Image for Mea.
5 reviews
May 23, 2024
I have never read a poetry book that made me feel this way. It made me think ,reflect deeply about my life and cry. Having recently turned 18, I could identify with many of her life experiences. Her poems made me feel less alone and helped me understand that we all go through complicated events throughout our lives. I loved how Madisen brought her words to paper and how she portrayed her complex feelings. I kept this book with me for a long time taking it everywhere I go. It's definitely worth a read !!
Profile Image for Bela Carapinheiro.
131 reviews
November 18, 2024
Took me 5 months to finish this book.
Everytime I picked it to read... The anxiety and anguished memories hit me.
I lived all these broken heart moments too, 10 years ago, or more.
Now during my healing process, travel back to the emotions that M. K. writes made me slow down the read.
She did a great job, making a +30yo hopeless romantic cry.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 230 reviews

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