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384 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1964
So there were quite a few disabled men, still pretty infirm, who suddenly found themselves demobilized and alone and helpless outside the army organization which for four years had enveloped every second of their activities, and with no place to go. These were the ones whom Mother brought to our house.
On Jack, the effect of the absence of both our parents at the war had been to make him wild and adventurous and reckless. He was fighting other kids in the streets, and usually winning. More and more often he would go truant from school…
…and it is perfectly true that the period which had turned him into a wild one had made me something of a namby-pamby. Jean bullied me, Jack despised me, my younger sister was a nuisance and a tell tale, so I clung to my grandmother then…
All I knew was that the readings in my bedroom, the exercise-book of poems stuffed inside the ticking of my mattress, my stubborn rejection of Jack’s alarming indoctrinations, had all come together at last into the semblance of a path that would lead somewhere. I was fifteen. And I was a writer. Lonely and secretive, and desperately anonymous, but still a writer.
It was like a great river flooding or changing its course, the way the Depression came – the insidious creeping movement of dark, strong, unpredictable forces, the flow of hidden currents, a clod falling and dissolving, a slide of earth, the cave-in of an entire bank, a sudden eddy swirling around a snag, tilting it over, sweeping it off into a black oblivion.
Her overpowering loveliness, that smile beneath the casque of golden hair, the long lean flanks of her nakedness, youthful sensuality imaged for me for the first time. My reaction to this was ludicrous.
…and the newspapers were filling up with casualty lists, and it was a war now, a real war, there was no doubt about it, and the hospital ships were coming back…
What was so terrifying about these suburbs was that they accepted their mediocrity. They were worse than slums. They betrayed nothing of anger or revolt or resentment; they lacked the grim adventure of true poverty; they had no suffering, because they had mortgaged this right simply to secure a sad acceptance of a suburban respectability that ranked them socially a step or two higher than the true, dangerous slums of Fitzroy or Collingwood.
Yet as one looks back on it now and very clearly sees the difference between the picture as it actually was and the somewhat glorified picture that was conveyed back to the people in mainland Australia, one also sees how desperately necessary the dishonesty was.