My Therapist Said

by Hal Sirowitz

The winner of a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship presents his second collection of humorous, conversational poems from the psychotherapist's couch, where the author receives much well-intended advice about life and love. 20,000 first printing. Tour.

Genres: Poetry, The United States Of America, Humor, Love, Fiction

143 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Hal Sirowitz has been awarded a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship is a 2003-2004 New York Foundation for the Arts Fellow. In 2001, Sirowitz was named Poet Laureate of Queens, New York. His poems have been widely anthologized in collections such as Garrison Keillor’s Good Poems and in Poetry in Motion from Coast to Coast. He has performed on MTV’s Spoken Word Unplugged, PBS’s Poetry Heaven, and NPR’s All Things Considered. Garrison Keillor has read Sirowitz’s work on NPR’s Writer’s Almanac. Sirowitz works as a special education teacher for the New York City public schools.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 3 out of 5]

This go-round with Hal's poetry was nowhere near as enjoyable as Mother Said, Father Said: Poems, or even Before, During, and After: Poems.

Chuckles were few and far between, though here are a few I liked:

Freedom Means Nothing to Lose

When you knew your father was dying,
my therapist said, you thought if you
got married it'd please him. So
you got into some painful relationships.
You were ready to get married
until you got dropped. But now
that he's dead you're free. You don't
have to marry anyone. You can get
into painful relationships just for the hell of it.


Touching Bottom

When you go swimming, don't go out so far,
where you can't touch bottom, Father said.
It's good to know it's there even if you don't
use it. Why do you think I got married?
Do you really think I need your mother?
I did it because I knew someday I'd
get old & tired. I had to have a place
where if I wanted to I could rest.


Safety Valve

In the outside world if you yell
at people, my therapist said, there are
repercussions. Someone might yell back.
But in my office you can scream
at me, & I'll stay calm. You can do
in here what you can't do outside. But
the only favor I'll ask of you
is please don't make any noises that sound
like I'm strangling you, because I
have a new patient waiting outside.

And one more for book lovers:

Lending Out Books

You're always giving, my therapist said.
You have to learn how to take. Whenever
you meet a woman, the first thing you do
is lend her your books. You think she'll
have to see you again in order to return them.
But what happens is, she doesn't have the time
to read them, & she's afraid if she sees you again
you'll expect her to talk about them, & will
want to lend her even more. So she
cancels the date. You end up losing
a lot of books. You should borrow hers.

Sounds like good advice. Perhaps I should see a therapist . . .

[elise ballestad · Rating 1 out of 5]

Meh.

[Ellen Toft · Rating 3 out of 5]

Har drukket alt for mye kaffe i dag, prøver å lese dikt for å sovne, men de vekker meg med engasjement. Plutselig hadde jeg lest en hel samling

[Girl Underground · Rating 5 out of 5]

My god, Hal--you're friggin' hilarious. I'm glad this is the book I chose to read through NaPoWriMo (re-read, really, since this is about my third time through) , but once I started, I couldn't stop. Easy, accessible, hilarious--may not be your poet's poet, but you're my kind of poet.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

These poems are both hilarious and insightful. Wonderful

[Leonard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is another volume in the life of Sirowitz and his interactions with the main people in his life, always funny in a dark way as well as sprinkled with tidbits of truth, wisdom, and philosophy.

[Andreaks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really funny and kind of sad at the same time. It's a poetry collection that reads a bit like a novel. I liked it!

[Spidermonkey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ihan kiva ja nopealukuinen välipalakirja. Odotin ehkä jotain hieman syvällisempää. Ja toki seassa on myös sellaisia mietteitä - en oikein miellä tätä runoteokseksi, "runot" olivat enemmänkin kuin pieniä kohtauksia ja ajatuksia kertojan elämästä - jotka herättivät vähän enemmän pohdintaa. Aika kädenlämpöinen teos, joka kuitenkin maistui vähän väljähtäneeltä.

Runojen/mietelmien perusteella kertojan vanhemmat eivät ole kovin hyviä vanhempia ja kertojallakin on ongelmia. No, ehkä sille on syynsä, miksi hän käy terapiassa.

Saatan lukea Sirowitzin toisenkin runoteoksen, jos se jossain vastaan tulee. Mutta en juuri nyt koe siihen mitään palavaa tarvetta.

[Tiina · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was not what I wanted, or expected. I wanted insight, wisdom, wise stories about life. Instead, there are abusive parents and a therapist, who's not that great. Everyone is mean and disrespectful to the main character. They are undermining him, chipping away at his sense of self and confidence.

This just made me sad and annoyed.

An snippet of awful:

"Blind faith

Sleeping with your father got me you,/
Mother said, & you weren't the prize/
I thought you'd be. It's a pity I can't/
return you, give you back to the hospital,/
& say, He can't be my son; you must have/
given me the wrong baby, because he/
hates everything good I do for him. .... "

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have been picking at this little book since May. It was part of a stack of books that I bought connected to therapy. I hoped it would be humorous and maybe offer a different point of view about therapy. I finished it because some of the observations attributed to the therapist were useful analogies that I might want to use. But mostly there was just a lot of angst about dating and stupid behavior in relationships. The other reason that I finished the book is because I can count it for the 'book of poetry' prompt in my 2021 challenge. Not a great reason to read poetry.

[Fox · Rating 2 out of 5]

Siinä missä Hal Sirowitzin ”Äiti sanoi: runoja” oli oivaltava ja iskevän sarkastinen kokoelma eräänlaisia mininovellin ja runon ristetyksiä, ”Terapeuttini sanoi: runoja” on heikko yritys toistaa sama. Sirowitzin suhde maailmaan on yhtä kirkas, mutta sarkasmi on tylsää. Joitain osumia joukkoon sattuu, mutta ne ovat valitettavan harvassa.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This poetry book, like the other two Hal Sirowitz collections, (MY FATHER SAID, MY MOTHER SAID) left me chuckling, too. Although MY MOTHER SAID is my favorite, all three made life during the pandemic lighter. I recommend them all.

[Kristín Hulda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kippti þessari með á bókasafninu út af titlinum (íslenska þýðingu). Fattaði þegar ég byrjaði að lesa að þetta er ljóðabók með þýddum ljóðum… concept sem ég fatta ekki. Ljóðin eru örugglega mjög hnyttin og skemmtileg á frummálinu en missa algjörlega marks á íslensku.

[Samu · Rating 2 out of 5]

First couple made me laugh, after that it was mostly just blah.

[Elisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐

[Angela Hoeltke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this collection of poems.

[Marthe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hehe. Pleier egt ikke å like/skjønne lyrikk. Men denne var ganske så morsom og underholdene. + det var Erlend loe som leste. Og da gjør det veldig opp for det

[Jendi · Rating 4 out of 5]

GENIUS!

[Marko Ruostetoja · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing less than first-rate tea bag philosophy.