What do you think?
Rate this book


297 pages, Paperback
Published April 5, 2016
"I wish I could be as confident as you," I reply with a small laugh.
"Then I'll be confident enough for the both of us."
You know what would rock? A delete button for life. A magical way to erase memories and unwanted feelings. The tingles, the lingering hope. The little things you never thought you’d miss, like simply talking to the boy you once loved, or not talking because you didn’t need to. You already know all there is to know. Breakups are crappy any way you slice it, but the worst part, even worse than seeing the boy who once owned your heart now happy with someone else, is going from speaking every day, hanging out, and sharing all aspects of your life, to nothing.
“I appreciate the way you listen. If someone has your attention, they have all of you.” I swallow hard as my eyes bore into the thin paper. “They’re the only thing on the planet that matters for those brief precious moments.”
“A smile doesn’t always mean you’re happy.” I shrugged and looked away. “Sometimes it just means you’re ready to face whatever comes.”
No girl had gotten to me like this. Burrowed under my skin, held my interest, or had me thinking about tomorrow. Wishing I could be that guy.
Three years is a long time to hold on to hurt. To convince yourself you hate someone, never want to see them again, wish they’d suffer a disgusting ailment. You’d think it would take a lot more than a few conversations over the course of a few weeks to make it all disappear. But that’s exactly what’s happened, because when I try and dredge up the old feelings of resentment and pain I’ve clung to over Justin, all that remains are smoldering embers of sadness.
Everyone knows I’m not good for much, but I was made to love this girl. I’m good for her and I’m good with her. It may’ve taken me three years to fully realize that, but I know it now. Soon, she will, too.
I could count on three fingers the times in my life I’d felt worthy of affection—my grandmother telling me on her death bed that she was proud of me, newborn Chase wrapping his tiny fist around my finger, and this moment, with Peyton giving me everything she had to give.
I’ve never had anyone in my life I could keep. My grandparents hung around as long as they could, but I only got a few years. My mom never wanted me, my dad couldn’t care less, and Annabeth… well, I won’t even go there. As for the others, Chase is only a kid, Rosalyn is paid to be there, and Carlos, as much as he has my back, has his own thing going. With girls, every relationship before and after Peyton has been transient. Blink and you missed it, no attachments. Casual. I did that on purpose, so no one ever got too close. No one could ever hurt me. But with this beautiful, brave, brilliant girl in front of me, I never even stood a chance.

"You’re far from just anyone, Peyton. You’re impulsive and fearless. You’re stubborn and curious. You drive me insane with your millions of questions. And your heart...Sunshine, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen."

I touched my forehead against hers. “And I’m yours.” Her hands left my shoulders and skimmed hesitantly over my back. “I mean it, Sunshine. You deserve better, but if you still want me even after knowing what a disaster I am, then I’m all in. I’m too selfish to walk away.” I leaned back. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
~quotes taken from the e-ARC of The Natural History of Us, Justin’s POV, at 43%