Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Have the Relationship You Want

Rate this book
A step-by-step guide for women to tranforming your love life practically overnight.

168 pages, Paperback

Published April 26, 2006

121 people are currently reading
2971 people want to read

About the author

Rori Raye

9 books43 followers

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
129 (42%)
4 stars
76 (25%)
3 stars
63 (20%)
2 stars
18 (5%)
1 star
17 (5%)
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
6 reviews2 followers
February 15, 2014
Still reading, about half way through the book. This book truly is amazing! The insights, exercises, tips etc... I've seen people compare it to "Men are from Mars & Women from Venus", but sorry, I think this goes a lot further. Maybe both complement each other, but this is one of a kind as far as I'm concerned!
Especially the bit on feminine & masculine energies and role patterns, there's so little good info WITH examples AND exercises on this and how it pans out in a relationship when both man & woman are in masculine energy (which happens a lot). Rory explains why this causes problems, how you can resolve it to make both happier and the relationship better. No miracles, it's actually all just very logical. But sometimes we just need a little more info and insight and someone to spell it out for us.

There's an exercise in it you can do to experience what it's like for a man when a woman claims him, clings on to him. Astounding! No wonder many men want to run for dear life! It feels horrible!

This book is worth every cent it costs!
9 reviews
June 6, 2018
I will read it again once I am in an official relationship. This book has amazing tips for nurturing relationship. What I treasure most currently is the way the author explain about feminine and how sincere we should be to love and be loved. But there are some chapters I don't really understand, perhaps because I have never experience a relationship
2 reviews
July 16, 2020
There are definitely few very useful behavioral lines to stick to, especially about leaning back and not rowing the boat. BUT at the end of the day, this books teaches you how to stop being yourself and play roles that are not natural to you. Probably it really works and you could get this man for the rest of your life, but will you be able to keep acting and playing in a long term without stressing yourself on the daily basis? I don't think so. And no one man in the world worth it all.
Profile Image for Dung Hoàng.
6 reviews9 followers
July 16, 2017
Good to know this book. It makes me comfortable in and express my feminine energy and can switch between masculine and femimine energies what time I need.
Profile Image for Trần Huế.
199 reviews
March 25, 2020
Một cuốn sách thú vị, nhưng mình chưa tin tưởng hoàn toàn vào những luận điểm được khẳng định ở đây. Cuộc sống muôn vẻ mà, ai biết được cái quái gì sẽ xảy ra cơ chứ. Nhưng xét về độ logic thì ổn đấy chứ. Và nó có ích. À vì là mình đọc bản dịch nên cũng mơ hồ không rõ nó sát bao nhiêu phần trăm so với bản gốc nữa. Dù sao thì cũng rất cảm ơn nhân duyên đưa mình đến với một cuốn sách hay ho như này. Không chỉ về mối quan hệ nam nữ yêu đương, nó còn là cách dung hòa trong cuộc sống nữa. Tuyệt!
Profile Image for anh thi.
49 reviews
January 5, 2022
Đơn giản, dễ hiểu, các bài thực hành hay, thoạt nghe thì dễ nhưng thực tế thì không. Điểm cộng chủ yếu nằm ở những chương cuối. Điểm trừ là hành văn lê thê. Không khuyến cáo đọc bản Tiếng Việt (của Moon Club) vì rất củ chuối.

Phù hợp với những cô ả phổi bò nhưng dễ xừng cồ, bản tính nhõng nhẽo nhưng không mềm dẻo,... nói chung là chưa có khả năng bứt ra khỏi xu hướng tự thân ở mức thấp, nhưng bắt đầu muốn thay đổi.
Người đọc nhiều sẽ không thấy mới. Người đã thực sự "lành mạnh", tự chủ chính mình, quan trọng là độ tinh tế, mềm mỏng, bao dung cực kì cao sẽ không thấy giá trị.
Profile Image for Anh Trâm Trần.
11 reviews37 followers
January 1, 2021
I’ve read so many books and articles about relationships but this book is really different. It answers many questions that have bothered me for a long time. Just like it gives me the answers that’s always inside me but I didn’t realise before.

It doesn’t require you to work hard to be loved. It guides you how to let go of controlling and be present. If helps you expressing yourself openly without hurting or pressuring other people. It teaches you how to listen to others with your full attention and why it’s so important in relationships.
Above everything, it explains about masculine and feminine energy. What makes men fall in love is different from what makes women fall in love.
Other books maybe mention these things now and then but everything’s just on the surface. You feel like you have to do this or that without your deep understanding. Now you understand . And you happily and willingly follow the instructions in the book.
I adore this book and recommend it to my friends.
1 review12 followers
February 18, 2016
Empowering! I love Rori Raye's books and programs. She not only helps women to empower themselves, but her work also helps people find (and stay in) love. I love that her relationship books are about authenticity and not strategies about how people can "game" each-other. I absolutely love her communication tools and the way they help people relate to one another in healthy and connected ways. I highly recommend this book as well as any of her programs. I can honestly say her programs changed my life. She teaches so much more than just relationship. Her teachings touch on spirituality, presence and consciousness. Rori is adorable, amazing, kind-hearted, insightful, easy to understand, and truly a blessing.
Profile Image for Courtney.
319 reviews23 followers
July 22, 2017
I liked this more than I expected to! I think some of her advice on vulnerability, boundaries, and communication is really useful.
Profile Image for Lakna Niriella.
30 reviews17 followers
July 16, 2022
I don’t know, I didn’t really click with this book.
I liked certain small parts like succumbing to the feminine energy.
But all in all I felt like an oversimplification and a hard sell.
4 reviews1 follower
April 16, 2022
I am amazed by this book. It has given me just what I needed. I have listened to/read many dating coaches' lectures (mostly men) and I always got the same opinion, time and time again, that if you are not loved and cherished by your date/boyfriend, you should just let them go and move on. Now I am not one to give up that easily, and usually I am aware that if something goes wrong, it's something in me that prevents me from getting the result that I want. And that is what I love about this book. It doesn't aim to change you or the men you are dating, it just wants you to love and understand yourself just the way you are and bring out the good that's already in you, so you can let go of the bad, hostile thoughts you carry.
I have been practicing mindfulness for a while, and highly recommend it to anyone who tends to stress over things that are not worth the energy. This book carries the elements of mindfulness too, and adds to it many useful techniques for efficient communication and proper self-reflection. I loved it and the old cliché that it all comes down to - which is always very true: Love yourself and you will be loved.
Profile Image for Miranda Kate.
Author 19 books77 followers
November 7, 2018
This was a repeat read of this book. I found it helpful the first time around when it highlighted certain things I needed to work on, and now with a second read it has highlighted other things I need to work on.

It's a book about how to breathe new life into your relationship. It focuses on intimate relationships with a partner or spouse. It sets out ground rules, and discusses how to be in a relationship, talking about masculine and feminine energies without being gender specific, and how they work and relate to each other. It talks about how to improve how you communicate (in a non-blaming way) and how to listen better. It contains exercises and questions for the reader to use and journal about.

I particularly liked the learning how to listen section and also the overfunctioning section, which really shows me where I need to change things - I take on too much and grow resent towards my partner.

It is simple and short enough to take on the ideas easily. I would say it is focused more to women in a heterosexual relationship than men, but it can be adapted to suit either. Rori Raye writes in a clear and concise way, putting her ideas and instructions across in succinct way without over-explaining or being too wordy. I would definitely recommend it if you want new clarity in your relationship.
Profile Image for Minh Trang.
36 reviews2 followers
July 20, 2021
Quyển này Hà Trang có giới thiệu cho mình đọc.
Thực ra góc nhìn của tác giả về các mối quan hệ, đặc biệt là mối quan hệ tình cảm, không có gì mới lạ khi so sánh với các quyển sách self-help khác về các mối quan hệ.
Điều mình khá thích là các lý thuyết sách đề cập đến khá mới cho các mối quan hệ hiện đại, tuy nhiên điểm trừ là sách nhiều lý thuyết hơn vận dụng, và có phần vận dụng cũng khó làm theo.
Nhìn chung đọc trước khi đi ngủ để hiểu hơn 1 góc nhìn cũng tốt, nhưng để ngâm cứu áp dụng thì hơi khó. Mình vẫn thích đọc quyển 5 ngôn ngữ tình yêu của bác Gary Chapman hơn.
Profile Image for Tam Nguyen.
57 reviews28 followers
May 27, 2018
Good to know this book. Reading it makes me realize that I have thought & behaved in a wrong way, ie. masculine way.
The main concept of having the relationship you want is showing your feminity as you are, esp. expressing truthfully what you feel, what you think from your side, not in the way of criticizing or complaining your partner.
Profile Image for Caroline Garcia.
76 reviews
November 12, 2025
Many truths and insights about the masculine and feminine dynamics in relationships.
3 stars because I wish the author provided more examples of dialogue/conversation. I also think it could be worth addressing women who have been conditioned to center men and male validation in their lives. Enjoyed this quick and useful read.
10 reviews
August 5, 2019
Readnit in 2 days. A good insight to relationship and how men/ women think. I could relate many past situations to the examples given. Probably going to read other books of the same author.
Profile Image for Leanna Barnes.
1 review5 followers
May 7, 2020
The exercises in the book are so essential!
They really changed my outlook and get a deeper understanding of shortcomings I knew of and others I hadn’t considered.
1 review
January 23, 2023
Amazing book, makes a lot of sense what she’s saying, amazing way to see a relationship and I love how teachers us how to use the feminine and masculine energy, thank you for this amazing book 🇧🇷❤️
Profile Image for Hương Nguyễn.
9 reviews
December 28, 2024
Một quyển sách tính ứng dụng cao với các phương pháp thực hành để bạn có thể trải nghiệm và cảm nhận điều gì thực sự phù hợp với bạn, và điều gì bạn thực sự muốn trong đời sống tình cảm của bạn
Profile Image for Brittany.
5 reviews
November 12, 2023
Decided I will not be finishing this book after getting most the way through. Although it has some good ideas on how to better manage situations, I find it almighty dated in the ways it seeks to deal with situations, it sounds much rather like not dealing with them in some senses, and letting a man walk all over aspects of you as an individual all in the guise of a better relationship. Not all bad, but not for me at all.
1 review2 followers
Read
January 11, 2018
Have the relationship I want
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jacqueline Hart.
8 reviews1 follower
September 6, 2016
Read this book with with the audio playing in the back.. found it very comforting... and gave me some reassurance about where i am and what i want
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.