Don't Eat The Glowing Bananas

by David D. Hammons

It’s hard to find a decent brunch in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. But that’s all Henry Rosetta wants from the world.

That, and not to be eaten by nomadic cannibals.

Henry has traveled the nuclear bomb-blasted highways critiquing the finest radioactive eateries and cataloging his experiences. All the while, he’s been searching for the knowledge of why the bombs fell.

It’s this hunger for specialty food and forbidden knowledge that brings Henry to the city of New Dallas. There, Henry meets a green-skinned mutant, a katana-wielding assassin, and a horrible dictator who claims to know why the bombs fell. Henry must help the people of New Dallas and learn the great secret of how the world ended.

And maybe get a taco along the way.

Genres: Humor, Science Fiction, Science Fiction Fantasy, Dystopia, Post Apocalyptic, Comedy

212 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 7, 2015

Reviews

[Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

All the while I was reading this novel, I kept trying to imagine how it could be funnier.

While our itinerant food reviewer tasted the delicacies across a fallout wasteland, I couldn't help but imagine him playing as one of the cast from Monty Python's Flying Circus. Probably Eric Idle.

Once he teams up with Lewis and Zoe, I had this strange desire to see the whole novel done on stage. With singing. And dancing zombies. I thought it would be so cool.

In the end though, it was amusing, mostly mildly so, and it made me really want to fire up my Fallout New Vegas on Wild Wasteland settings and grin my way through the strangeness.

And eat Tamales. Even if it's rat stew, it'll now always be Tamales in my heart.

It was very nice to see a light-hearted take on a nuclear wasteland. The travelogue was a very nice touch.

Thanks to Netgalley!

[Marjolein (UrlPhantomhive) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read all my reviews on http://urlphantomhive.booklikes.com

Sound advice, I wouldn't eat them either.

I think from the title it is clear that this is not the most serious book and that you will have to let reason go at times in order for it to make sense (if it makes sense at all, that is). In this case, what you see is what you get, because it is exactly that kind of book.

Henry Rosetta for some reason is a food critique reviewing the places he eats while looking for the answer to one question: why did the bombs fell? All of this is of course set in a post nuclear war zone Texas with some strange inhabitants, including dancing (some of them riverdancing) zombies.

If you like this absurd weirdness from time to time, this is the book for you. I liked, but only when reading relatively short fragments at a time. Is this a book I would finish in a single sitting? Probably not, but spread over a few days I quite enjoyed myself.

Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

[Ziggy Nixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bananas are naturally radioactive.

Ahem… Just devoured another book by D.D.Hammons, whose last menu was to die for (almost literally)! Story was good, with execution and delivery more than decent. Perhaps not quite as deliciously hilarious as the Russian Date dish we enjoyed recently, which of course was packed with a degree of spiciness that wasn't even hinted at here (radioactive bodies of water are not a substitute for legitimate hot-tubs!). But this was more than a satisfying dish, "complimented by a well-tenderized cut of rat meat with little to no bone fragments." Granted, one should never stop searching for a meal that includes either prosciutto or even halloumi cheese or both if you're feeling truly adventurous! But really, this "multi-course meal of fresh ingredients all expertly prepared" kept me glued to my seat even if the ending wasn't perhaps - again - up to the same culinary levels as our last visit. 4 ½/5 stars. And definitely, whatever you do: "just make sure you don’t eat the glowing bananas."

Survival first. Sandwiches second.

OK, for those giving this review the classic "huh?" or even - dare I hope - a rousing "WTF?" reaction, kindly note that David D. Hammons' "Don't Eat the Glowing Bananas: The Travels of a Post-Apocalyptic Foodie" features, well, a sincere foodie making his way through the post-apocalyptic wasteland of what used to be the United States. In particular for this story, we spend a great deal of our time in Nude Alice. Oops, I mean New Dallas (hint: pun!), where somehow the managerial structure and corporate policies of a fast food chain known as Cheesy Jack's ("Ninety-nine cent chicken nuggets!") rules the land, irradiated and quite frankly mostly dead as it may be. In fact, the main two protectors of the cities ruling despot - I mean, come on, it's a post-apocalyptic world out there so of course there are evil despots! - have earned the rank of Extra Cheese and Hold the Mayo. Just don't expect Happy Meals from this lot!

You’ll regret crossing the Cheesy Jack’s Navy and Home Delivery service!

No, Henry Rosetta aka Hank Rose is busy making his way through a world that is recovering (or not) from a time when four thousand eighty-one nuclear warheads were detonated in the atmosphere. Which can really put a crimp in your day, not to mention making bananas no longer a healthy means of getting vitamins like B6 and C or even the usual goodness of dietary fibre and elements including potassium and manganese into your system. But at least they provide a little light now and then (the bananas, not the bombs) when you're making your way from one disaster zone to another, all in the hunt of course of the next savory menu to test, rate, and write about.

Great service, but he always thought flammable diarrhea knocked at least a star off a rating.

Now Hank does this apparently for no other reason than because it is indeed something to do. He is indeed a huge fan of cheese and foods, as well as ‘Bombern Art’, which are variously sized structures formed naturally when things like metal, plastic, and humans would melt together ("Oh enriched uranium, you are the greatest of artists…"). These various sculpture-like installations that were waiting either to be appreciated by those with taste or perhaps just crumble into dust over time. Which can happen once you take into account that after those over four thousand bombs detonated, it left a massive amount of radioactive fallout which "caused things like mass deaths, mutation, and carnivorous penguins." And don't get me started on the "Waterworld" combined with "Pirates of the Carribean", um, pirates and their shenanigans either, remembering that "getting the last line in a pirate song wrong was a death sentence…" Um… yo ho ho? Or should that be: Arr?

We don’t take kindly to Nietzsche in these parts.

Hank - who eventually is joined by the kindly mutant Lewis and the katana-wielding, revenge-seeking, ex-slave Zoe - is also in search of knowledge and, in particular, seeks out the written word wherever it may still exist. Most importantly - to him at least - is finding an answer to the basic question : "Why did the bombs fall?" However, you can well imagine that the end of the world - particularly if it, for example, happened under totally mysterious and for unexpected reasons - is not well-documented. But at very least Hank's thirst for knowledge can never be quenched, which is good as if it had quenched too much too soon, well, a large portion of this story would have quite probably never been made available for our perusal.

They’re outside... Dangerous is a given. Unless they have pizza.

Along the way though we meet quite a number of interesting characters, many of them in the classic clichéd mold of the cast of the various "Mad Max" movies and others that you just have to kind of see to believe. Of particular interest at least to this reader were the "nine-inch-tall cockroach(es)" which could not only stand on their hind legs but could in fact sing. Which to be fair was terrible. However, as we come across many of these "beings", Henry/Hank offers advice along the lines of "experience taught him not to wander too close to sentient cockroaches, or to insult their singing." You know unless we had otherwise thought that approaching giant, mutant bugs that we KNEW were going to survive the end of the world was a good idea. Desperate times and all that…

We stop serving breakfast at ten a.m.! We stop serving breakfast at ten a.m.!

Perhaps most interestingly of course were the zombies. Yes, as you can probably guess, they wanted brains and yes, they were found in hordes in all the wrong places. However, the zombies of this world did not so much as lurch as, well, dance. Yeppers, we're talking the Michael Jackson Thriller End-Game here, with various groups either doing what I guess you'd call "the YMCA" or "Gangnam Style" dance (called apparently just as the author hints at: "horsey" dance. Hey folks, I don't write 'em, I just google 'em!), square dancing or somewhat oddly, moon-walking. It's far too gruesome to go into great detail about it here, but luckily our crew is saved by a large Russian man that for whatever lives in the Dallas area with his mother and makes furniture. We told you it wouldn't be pleasant.

What good is knowledge when stupidity and ignorance will always trump it?

So this entire adventure including "evil despots, heroic rescues, and aged sausages" is a lot of fun. And I'm even willing to bet that I'd have enjoyed it a bit more owing to some kind of bizarre incarnation of literary naiveté if I hadn't taken the opportunity to read "Rasputin's Supernatural Dating Service" a little more than a fortnight ago. But honestly, it's like comparing Monty Python's "The Holy Grail" (the funniest movie ever made) and Monty Python's "Life of Brian" (one of the funniest movies ever made). You just can't go wrong even though you finally had to confess to your parents that a large portion of your college tuition money went to buying tickets to the former every few weeks. But we live and learn, and despite the beatings life hands out, continuing to display "signs of hope. This was usually hope that the beating would stop."

[Sissy Lu {The Bookish Raven} · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I received this ARC from Curiosity Quills in exchange for an honest review.*

When I received this book as part of the book review tour I just kind of blinked, I thought I remembered this author's name and then I realized I did.. Alice Takes Back Wonderland is another book of David D. Hammons and I personally wasn't a fan - this isn't about that book, though, this is about Don't Eat The Glowing Bananas.

The tone is quite similar to Alice Takes Back Wonderland - which is NUTTY! This book is meant to be that way though and you can tell, it's a comedy and there is no denying that. It's goofy and you never know what to expect coming out of one of the characters mouths... It reminds me of Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas' BAT COUNTRY at times...

There doesn't seem to be rhyme or reason at times and if you took the book too seriously it could begin to annoy you, but let me just say DONT take it seriously because it isn't meant to be taken that way.

All in all, it's a kooky, fun read.

[BibliofiendLM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full review here: http://tinyurl.com/go6t4sq
__________
Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC! This was hilarious and right up my alley with the whimsical sense of wry humor. Definitely a must read!

[Wortmagie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Habt ihr schon gehört, dass Netgalley nach Deutschland kommt? Ja, es gibt nun eine deutsche Version, über die deutsche Buchtitel angefragt werden können. Mich freut das sehr, denn das Prinzip ist großartig. Wo sonst können Rezensent_innen so unkompliziert mit Verlagen und Autor_innen in Kontakt treten, um genau die Bücher zu lesen und zu besprechen, die sie interessieren? Ich habe mit dem amerikanischen Original bisher ausschließlich positive Erfahrungen gesammelt und kann euch nur empfehlen, die deutsche Variante auszuprobieren. Ohne Netgalley wäre mir „Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas“ von David D. Hammons vermutlich niemals begegnet. Das verführerisch schlichte Cover und der verrückte Titel zogen mich magisch an. Der Klappentext versprach eine ebenso verrückte Geschichte, der ich nicht widerstehen konnte. Ich bewarb mich und wurde akzeptiert.

Die Welt verabschiedete sich mit einem Knall. Was der nukleare Fallout nicht auslöschte, veränderte und verdrehte er. Aber das bedeutet ja noch lange nicht, dass man in den Überresten der Erde nicht ein wenig Genuss finden kann. Henry Rosetta, der sich stets als Hank Rose vorstellt, ist ein Foodie der Postapokalypse. Zwischen zerstörten Highways und Städten probiert er, was immer seinem anspruchsvollen Gaumen angeboten wird und verteidigt eine Mahlzeit notfalls auch gegen nomadische Kannibalen. Radioaktive Speisen sind seine Leidenschaft, doch was Hank tatsächlich antreibt, ist die Frage, warum die Bomben fielen. Angeblich wartet die Antwort in New Dallas, eine Stadt, die von einem Tyrannen regiert wird. Seite an Seite mit dem grünhäutigen, tentakelarmigen Mutanten Lewis und der rachedurstigen Attentäterin Zoe kämpft sich Hank durch Scharen von Fast-Food-Soldaten, Piraten und tanzenden Zombies um endgültig herauszufinden, wieso die Welt ausradiert wurde.

Ich schätze, ich sah beim Lesen von „Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas“ ziemlich dämlich aus, weil mir ständig der Mund offenstand. Dieses Buch ist so witzig, abgedreht und bizarr, dass ich teilweise fast nicht glauben konnte, was ich da las. Die Ideen der Geschichte sind dermaßen absurd, dass ich sie nicht mal hätte träumen können. Stellt euch eine zerstörte Welt vor, voller von der Wucht des nuklearen Einschlags verformten Trümmern und Wrackteilen. Denkt an Staub und flirrende Hitze, an eine unbarmherzige Sonne und eine ausgestorbene Landschaft. Habt ihr das Bild? Gut, dann bevölkert es nun mit kannibalistischen Motorradgangs, die neben ihrer eigenen Art auch problemlos Stahl und Holz verspeisen, Menschen, die gerade so noch sprechen können und versuchen, Suppe mit einem Schraubenzieher zu löffeln, einer Armee, die während eines Angriffs „Möchten Sie Pommes dazu?“ brüllt und einem freundlichen Mutanten, dessen Blut zwar ätzend ist, der sich aber nichts mehr als Freunde wünscht. Das Ergebnis eurer Fantasie kommt vermutlich nicht ganz an „Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas“ ran, doch es sollte euch einen Eindruck davon vermitteln, welch ein wunderbar charmantes Chaos das Buch zu bieten hat. Ich habe mich scheckig gelacht. Diese Reise durch eine Welt der Ruinen ist erfrischend, überraschend und völlig unglaublich. Ich durfte darüber schmunzeln, wie Menschen auf ihre grundlegendsten Triebe und den unbedingten Willen zum Überleben reduziert wurden. Der Protagonist Hank setzt die eher begrenzte Intelligenz seiner Artgenossen in das richtige Verhältnis, da er sich Eloquenz und Kultiviertheit bewahrte. Er begegnet der Verrücktheit seiner Umgebung mit einer kühlen, amüsierten Distanz, die es mir erleichterte, die Absurdität der Szenen überhaupt erst richtig zu erfassen. Ich wusste nie, was hinter der nächsten Biegung auf mich und die Figuren warten würde, denn David D. Hammons bietet so gut wie keine Erklärungen an, sodass es mir unmöglich war, vorauszuahnen, was als nächstes passieren würde, fühlte mich aber nie unsicher oder verwirrt. Ich ließ den Wahnwitz der Geschichte auf mich einstürzen und hatte köstlichen Spaß daran, Hammons Postapokalypse auf eigene Faust zu entdecken. Ich sprang kopfüber hinein in die Action, ritt auf den rasanten Wellen der sich schnell entwickelnden Handlung und dank Hanks Suche nach Antworten erschloss sich mir seine Welt dabei beiläufig und unkompliziert. Trotzdem musste ich natürlich vieles einfach hinnehmen ohne zu hinterfragen, wie zum Beispiel mein absolutes Highlight des Buches: die tanzenden Zombies. Wer denkt sich sowas aus?
Ich verrate wohl nicht zu viel, wenn ich euch eröffne, dass Hank die Antwort auf die Frage, warum die Bomben fielen, tatsächlich findet. Diese Antwort ist ganz und gar unbefriedigend, dafür aber auch ganz und gar menschlich. Ich kann mir absolut vorstellen, dass das Ende der Welt so ablaufen könnte. Die dargestellte Sinnlosigkeit der globalen Zerstörung lässt auf einen aufmerksamen Beobachter der Realität schließen, der angesichts dessen, was er sieht, jedoch nicht in Melancholie verfällt, sondern erst recht Gründe zum Lachen sucht. David D. Hammons ist ein Autor, der die reellen düsteren Zukunftsaussichten der Menschheit mit Leichtigkeit in einen fiktiven bunten Zirkus verwandelt. Für diesen verspielten Optimismus bewundere ich ihn zutiefst.

Ich kann euch „Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas“ nur wärmstens empfehlen, denn es ist wirklich lustig und verrückt. Natürlich muss man für ein Buch wie dieses in der Stimmung sein, doch wenn euch danach ist, herzhaft zu lachen, liegt ihr mit dieser abgedrehten Postapokalypse genau richtig. David D. Hammons‘ Zukunftsvision mag bedrückend sein, doch seine Handlung vermittelt eine fröhliche Leichtigkeit, die für sich allein bereits zum Grinsen einlädt. Das Ganze ist mit liebevoll ausgearbeiteten Charakteren garniert, die man gern begleitet und schnell ins Herz schließt. Falls ihr also Lust habt, einem Foodie zum Ende der Welt zu folgen, nur zu. Aber nicht vergessen: Finger weg von leuchtenden Bananen!

Vielen Dank an Netgalley und Curiosity Quills Press für die Bereitstellung dieses Rezensionsexemplars im Austausch für eine ehrliche Rezension!

[Maria Beltrami · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the many books set in the 'aftermath of the bombing', one might say. But no, because this is a rather psychedelic aftermath, to the point that you would think the fallout was massive doses of LSD. In this rather crazy world, where bananas are fluorescent, penguins are cannibalistic and zombies love to group dance, the protagonist travels around the United States in search of gastronomic delights and the answer to one question: why did the bomb fall? At a certain point in his journey, the protagonist meets a strange mutant, with poisonous blood and a convinced pacifist, and Zoe, a girl for whom the sword comes before the word and who wants to kill the dictator of Dallas. In the end Henry gets the answer he's looking for, an answer that may be obvious, but that no one wants to hear, and decides that, after all, the things that really matter in the world are love and cheese. Especially cheese.
Hilarious, and as profound as only really funny books can be.

[Alexis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, sci-fi isn't really my cup of tea, and this book is weird/sci-fi. Basically, it's the main character who tries to write a guide like the Michelin, in a post-apocalyptic-futuristic world. And I found really strange food on his journey, but also very strange people and aliens. It's funny sometimes, and I really like the weird title, but it's not my fave genre, so I can't say that I like it so much.

Questo fa decisamente parte della weird science fiction o come si chiama. Un tizio che vuole scrivere una guida gastronomica in un mondo distrutto, futuristico post apocalittico. Non è il mio genere preferito, anzi nessuno di questi generi è il mio preferito, ma apprezzo molto il titolo originale e l'idea di fondo che non è malaccio. E' piuttosto divertente, quindi se vi piace il genere di sicuro lo apprezzerete più di me.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review was originally published on The Serial Bookseller

This is one of those books that sneaks up on you. I was browsing NetGalley and the cover and wonderfully ridiculous title grabbed my eye. The book description was more than enough for me to request a copy. Henry “Hank” Rosetta is a lone wanderer in the wasteland that is the post apocalyptic United States. He’s never too worried about that fact though. What Hank is after is just one thing: The Perfect 5-Star Meal. He travels from town to town, hunting down any surviving place that will serve him food, and reviewing them Zagat style in a small notebook. Points for atmosphere and lack of shrapnel in the food. Loss of points for lack of beverage and the number of people that try to kill him.

I was sold.

The entire novel is short, weighing in at just a shade under 200 pages, but it’s a fun read, almost like a quest novel. It’s as if Douglas Adams was a fan of the Fallout series and decided to write fan fiction about a few nameless NPC’s. While not every part is riotous, it very rarely manages to fall flat. Just a few of those things include, but are not limited to, roving dance raving zombies, fiscally conservative swamp mutants, fast food worker armies, sweet and terrifying Russian mothers, and the finest set of armor you’ll ever read about crafted from pieces of table. It’s frankly somewhat stunning the amount of things that Hammons (David D. Hammons, the author) manages to squeeze in to the limited amount of pages. Unfortunately, it does mean that some of these pieces feel a little bit rushed. I do wish we had been able to see a bit more of certain scenes, and everything happening in such a small amount of time makes the pacing a little breathless at times. Overall though, this is a small problem.

It’s the interactions of the main trio of protagonists with each other and the eclectic mix of side characters that really delivers the humor of the story. Henry is rarely worried, and looks at some of life’s greatest problems (Lack of condiments, scarcity of books, roving gangs of death mutants) with a pragmatic optimism, noting that life could always be worse. Lewis, dear sweet Lewis, is a unique blend of anxiety, regenerating tentacles, and acidic blood. He’s helpful, and is always apologetic when he accidentally maims someone with his acid, or doesn’t die when people try to kill him. And there’s Zoe, freedom fighter, sword wielding menace, single minded crusader against tyranny, super excited about slicing people to bits. The interplay between these three is where Hammons really shines.

For all its jokes, goof, and lightheartedness Hammons’ novel is about what makes us human, what is it that drives us, that makes life worth living. Henry and his quest to find out why the bombs fell. Lewis and his search for a friend. Zoe and her drive for justice in an unjust world. These are the big motivations. But the hunt for a perfect meal, the chance to be helpful, vengeance, a shiny jacket, a big hat, a rocket to Mars, and a dozen other motivations probe and ask at the questions.

I can’t quite believe that this book exists. It should by all accounts be nothing but fluff and nonsense, I mean, it’s ridiculous. It’s wonderfully ridiculous. But it has so much heart, and like Lewis, really just wants to show you a good time, and maybe find a friend. Like Henry often writes in his journal, this amalgam of nonsense and harpoons gains extra points for being full of atmosphere. Four of five stars. Is good for health.

[Janis Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to thank Curiosity Quills Press for providing me with a free ARC of this book in exchange for an open and honest review.

They finally did it! Curiosity Quills Press finally wowed me enough to give one of their books a full star ranking! And… Oh my Goddess this is a FUNNY book!

From the author who wrote ‘Alice takes back Wonderland’ we have a new Alice… well, not really. But just say New Dallas out loud and you might see what I mean – though it doesn’t work as well in an Australian accent! ;-)

I LOVED this book! Absorbed it/ read it every opportunity I had and have a MASSIVE book hangover from it now being read to the end and done and dusted. Bravo!

Half way through the book I found myself describing the main character as what would happen if Rincewind (from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series) and Arthur Dent (from Douglas Adams Hitchhikers series) got together and raised a child in a post-apocalyptic America. Once you get your head around that it is actually a pretty impressive character to have created. And one that is hungry (for food and knowledge), adventurous (but not always brave) and willing to fight for the underdog and wield sarcasm and irony as a weapon. How could you NOT love such a protagonist? I’d have him over for a meal any day! Though being dairy free I would have to do something about the lack of cheese. ;-)

Yes I did start out by thinking the book was just a little TOO silly… but then I decided to stop fighting against it with being sensible and just relaxed and let the story sweep me into the fray. Well worth it too. And, yes, it has brought out some silliness in me too - not that I have it hidden too far below the surface at the best of times - but ‘Don’t eat the glowing bananas’ really does encourage you to let that silliness out, embrace it and spend the day being entertained by it.

But the book isn’t JUST silly. It is a fantastic look at the modern world after a nuclear disaster. Rather than the usual doom and gloom with cannibals, vicious dictators and zombies (though they are included) this book shows that life can still go on and exactly how seeking the positive in the worst of situations can help you survive. And I think that’s what I liked the most. I’m one of those sorts who always seeks the positive no matter what you’ve just stepped in – and life has had me step in some NASTY things – and so to see someone keep this mindset after surviving a nuclear holocaust, to me, proves it’s the best attitude to have.

Would I recommend this book to others? Yes I would. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d recommend David Hammons too. He seems to be the author to read. We may have lost Adams and Pratchett, but their torch is still held high by this young man. Bravo.

Would I buy this book for myself? Oh hell yes! Loved it, messed up a week of strict routine just to read it and have the book hangover to prove it.

In summary – although this is a book set in a dystopian earth post-nuclear disaster, it’s not exactly all doom and gloom. Nor is it so silly it is irreverent to the situation - should it ever happen. It really does show that one should – wait for it –always look on the bright side of life.

Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

[Krystin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Henry Rosetta has only two missions in life - to find the perfect 5 star meal (or just a really good cheese) and to find out why the bombs that created this post-apocalyptic wasteland fell. So far nobody has been able to help him with either. Right now he is in Texas so his goal is to find some Tex-Mex. He's come across a small gas station where the inhabitant claims he's making tamales (it looks more like rat stew) so he's arranged a trade when a biker gang busts down the door and...begins eating it? High in iron but definitely not the dining experience he was looking for. Henry helps take down the gang and then takes off, heading towards a congested highway full of vehicle and human skeletons in the hopes of losing the gang should they follow him. Navigating his way through this maze of history and death leads him to questions he didn't know he had, and answers he's not sure he wants.

One thing that really stuck out to me in this book is the main character is not perfect. While he does have unusual combat skills for a foodie this really isn't too much of a surprise for teen who has grown up trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. He recognizes his flaws and is unapologetic for them, he encourages those he encounters to understand their own flaws and to come to terms with them. He doesn't use them as an excuse but allows them to be part of who he is. I can't really forgive him the Twinkie, American cheese, brussel sprout concoction though.

I wasn't sure where this story would take me. I enjoy dystopian and post-apocalyptic story lines, so when I saw this was a post-apocalyptic comedy I was immediately intrigued. I am not sure I have come across another book in that genre but it definitely works. I was amused at some of the jabs to modern politics - such as the building of the new society in New Dallas on a premise of ignorance, where libraries were preserved so that citizens could walk up to their doors for the sole purpose of turning away in order to show their dedication to a lack of knowledge. Our hero, of course, loves libraries.While most of them were sadly destroyed when the bombs fell he explores the ones he finds and is well read for a teen in a world with no education system.

While there are certainly cannibals (an unusually large number of them - what does nuclear radiation DO to us?), door eaters, zombies, pirates, mercenaries, and ruthless dictators there is a lot of silliness. Even after nuclear disaster life has to go on and Henry helps us see that there is still friendship, fishing, dancing, muffins, and monster trucks even in a post-apocalyptic America.

**I received a free ARC in exchange for my honest review. This review first appeared on my blog on 12/6/15.**

[Kayl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review: Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas by David D. Hammons
Title: Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas
Author: David D. Hammons
Pages:
Publisher: Curiosity Quills Press
Publish Date:
Genre:

Cover: The cover was why I decided to read Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas. Well, that and the title. It just spikes the curiosity like what is this book even about. And then you have the radiation party lights which says something about nuclear warfare. As I’m staring at the cover, I’m really starting to wonder why there’s a sombrero on it… Well then.

Characters: Hank Rose aka Henry Rosetta was hilarious. I loved the way he viewed the world. He always had a story about everything. His POV was just great for the story. As he travels onward, you get to see him as a sort of food critic. I loved reading how he rated food experiences and why each place got such a rating. As a reviewer, I found it hilarious.

I loved Lewis. His character made me sad about how others treated him. He was so nice, and periodically gets his arm cut off. He always tried to see the best in people, and didn’t like hurting them. He was sweet.

Zoe was my least favorite character. I just didn’t like her. I felt as if her character tried too hard.

Plot: The plot was ridiculously funny. It was like Hammons thought of the most ridiculous thing he could think of and made it an obstacle in his book. You had pirates (which I couldn’t understand half the time), dancing zombies, and fast-food soldiers. I absolutely loved the humor. Everything was interesting. TBH it was quite dumb, but I loved it!

It was highly original and just had a great storyline.

Ending: I wish there was more PizzAzz but Henry finally found out how the bombs fell. It was kind of disappointing. I was expecting something spectacular, but nope. It did make sense though for the story which is good.

Overall: I’m pleased to have read Don’t Read the Glowing Bananas. It did not disappoint me. The characters were some wacky people, but they made the story work. My favorite part would probably have to be the break-dancing zombies and Ivan. I could just picture that in my head, and I loved it.

I was almost in tears of laughter throughout this entire novel. It was THAT funny. I think everyone needs to read Don’t Eat the Glowing Bananas. It gives the stupid side of the end of the world.

Personally, I probably would have gone to Mars but to each her own.

[Heather Lawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Originally posted here: https://heatherreviews.wordpress.com/...
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When I first read the description for this book, I laughed. I thought it sounded hilarious and I couldn’t wait to read it. This is one of those rare occasions where I had high expectations going into a book and it didn’t disappoint me. I couldn’t put this book down, I was hooked from the beginning.

Henry Rosetta is just trying to find some decent food in the post-apocalyptic world that he finds himself living in. Writing down reviews of each place he stops on his journey, his humorous quips are enough for a good chuckle. As he’s travelling, he meets a mutant and a gun-ho girl who join him in a new quest to bring down an evil dictator who rose from the ashes after the bombs fell. Henry doesn’t want much from his new life, his only quest aside from finding good food is to find knowledge and the biggest piece of knowledge there is to discover is why the bombs fell in the first place. Teaming up with his new friends, they embark on an adventure like no other to finally uncover the truth about what happened.

This book was an absolute joy to read. I literally devoured this book like Henry eating one of his post-apocalyptic meals. I found not only Henry, but his new found friends to be such an eclectic and entertaining bunch that I didn’t want to stop reading and even when I was finished, I was kind of hoping for more.

Hammons takes us into what should be a terrifying and unpredictable world full of dangers and enemies and makes it light-hearted and funny and a romping great adventure. I honestly didn’t expect to love this book as much as I did but it completely stole my heart.

This is a story I’d highly recommend to others. It’s got everything: an exciting adventure, a badass girl out for revenge, a lovable mutant who wants to help everyone, an evil dictator bent on ruling everyone and everything, pirates! I could go on. Hammons writing style is so easy to lose yourself in, the time flies without you even realising.

This is an author I’m definitely going to seek out more books from.

[Lilzgold · Rating 5 out of 5]

First things first, I also loved the title and I was kind of hoping that the glowing bananas would play a slightly bigger role.

There's a lot of post-apocalyptic books/TV shows/movies/etc that are all doom and gloom, so this book definitely comes across as a breath of fresh air as it uses its setting not to set up another dark, hopeless story, but to create a ridiculous world, ridiculous situations, ridiculous characters - and a very fun time. Overall, the story keeps a mostly positive tone, which is something you don't often find in post-apocalyptic stories.

The characters are also great, with everyone having their own charming weirdnesses. I found that two of the protagonists, Henry and Zoe, complemented each other pretty well with their differences and did a good job helping the other develop as characters. They also made quite a kick-ass team in a fight. Oh, the fights! The fights, and pretty much all of the action sequences, in this book are imaginative and straight-up entertaining to read. The author doesn't over- or under-write them, so it's very easy to picture them happening in your head.

I remember reading that the author is a fan of cartoons, and it does show through in this book with how crazy and fun everything is. Those are the two things that most people will remember this story being: crazy and fun.

If you want a funny, entertaining book - and if you want to know why beavers never felt the need to create nuclear bombs - give this book a read.

I received this ARC from Curiosity Quills in exchange for an honest review.

[Eileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not gonna lie. As I started to read this my thoughts were "What. the. hell. am I reading? This makes NO SENSE and I feel like I should be on acid JUST to follow this craziness" and then the ah-ha moment "I feel like I'm reading Alice in Wonderland". Like I said "ah-ha moment".

Curiosity Quills Press states in the Author's bio: While visiting Cambridge during my time studying abroad, I tried to sneak into C. S. Lewis’s old apartment. I wanted to stand where the old master stood. I wanted to glean bits of imagination that no-doubt still clung to those walls. A locked door barred my path, and I fled to the safety of the campus pub.

So Hammons is a C.S. Lewis fan- which made Don't Eat the Glowing Bananas more bearable to read- because I "got it" and began to see the similarities between the two novels. Both are part of the literary nonsense genre, Hank is a nickname for Henry. Henry is Alice's father. Henry Rose-Rose (enough said). New Dallas which Henry/Hank continually refers to as NUDE ALICE. There's the Jacks which are a psuedo police force enforcing the RENTOR'S punishments of EXECUTIONS - hello Queen of Hearts. Let's not forget Lewis Green, Hold the Ketchup (Tweedle Dee) and Mayo (Tweedle Dum) and the many, many other characters.

Once I had this ah-ha moment, the crazy became funny and I enjoyed Don't Eat the Glowing Bananas that much more. Who doesn't love a dancing zombie?

[Artemiz · Rating 2 out of 5]

What do I say about David D. Hammons' Don't Eat The Glowing Bananas - well, I'm probably not in right gender, right state of intoxication and right age to understand the humor of this story. For me its like Mad Max, 12 Monkeys and Anthony Bourdain's Layover all together. Its post apocalyptic foodie journey around America, or what's left of it, experiencing old food in new ways and flirting with danger every step of the way. So when Henry/Hank arrives in Nude Alice (New Dallas) he has made quite many enemies, no friends but all of a sudden he picks up one friend candidate after another and makes even more enemies.

Have you read Jaroslav Hašek's The Good Soldier Svejk: and His Fortunes in the World War? Well this book is kind of like Sveik - my brother and his friends, and all the boys in my class loved the book, laughed about everything, knew parts of it by heart, but I read it and I did not get it. It just wasn't book for me, and this book isn't for me either, unfortunately, I was so looking forward to read a good funny book.

[Ashley Tomlinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very humorous book but that was given by the name. It's a pretty crazy name and I will admit that I wasn't crazy about reading it. It's just not something that I would normally pick up and the name really didn't grab me either. I was given this book for an honest review and in no way does that sway my opinion about it.

Even though it's funny, it still took some time for me to get into it. Henry Rosetta was a great character and absolutely hilarious. As a reviewer, I thought it was funny to read about another reviewer. He was a food critic and hearing the way he described some of the dishes was great.

It had some pretty ridiculous things in the story, like dancing zombies. I've read books where zombies fell in love but never dancing zombies. Break dancing zombies at that, not just some cupid shuffle or anything like that. I don't have very much to say about this book other than it was pretty stupid but it was funny enough to be worth the read.

If you want a light, ridiculous, funny read pick this book up.

[Tom Fletcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like most readers I imagine, I was first attracted to this book by one of the best novel titles I've seen for a long time. I expected plenty of humour, charm, and general nuttiness, and I definitely wasn't wrong or disappointed. DETGB is an incredibly fun read, but a thought provoking one with solid messages of knowledge and morality beneath the veil of lunacy. The humour hit far more often than it missed (laugh out loud funny at times, particularly when the mutant sidekick Lewis is involved), and the gags are woven into the narrative carefully and naturally, meaning the pursuit of jokes was never detrimental to the flow of the story or the makeup of the characters. Through Lewis, David Hammons has created one of my favourite comedy characters for a good while. Without posting spoilers, there is a really nice twist towards the end of the book that I would have liked to have seen taken a little further, but overall I thoroughly recommend this refreshingly self aware take on the genre.

[Alexa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book was a fun read. I felt that it was a bit underwhelming in the end and I really did not like Zoe, but for the most part I enjoyed this novel. It was fun to read and the humor was great in it. I mean I completely lost it at the dancing zombies, if I have to be honest. This book definitely gave me a Zombieland feel and it had a lot of fun. I wish Zoe was a bit more fleshed out than just revenge? She was supposed to be the opposing force to Henry I guess, but it was just really irritating. She wasn't funny. She was just constantly shooting down Henry's idea and honestly that entire scene on the lake wanted me to pull my hair out. The ending was kind of rushed and a lot of information came out within like the last ten pages and it was really underwhelming. I'm not sure what I expected from the end of this book, but it wasn't that. Also...the weird Henry and Zoe relationship? Don't really get it.

[Rachel Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came for the madcap title, and stayed for the Monty Python humor. Now, normally I'm more so a fan of books that brood or delve into melancholy, with anti-heroes and tragedy. But this book...this silly little book...it was darn near perfect. There were literal "laugh out loud" moments in every chapter, and I loved the characters' unyielding optimism. As I approached the ending, I feared it might be too abrupt, but it was actually quite nicely done. Things were wrapped up in a way that closed the story, but left me wanting more of the protagonist's adventures. What does the world have in store next for Hank Rose? I don't know, but I'd love to find out!

Side note: this needs to be a movie or a stage play. Either would work, but it needs to be done!

[Grant Eagar · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Review:

First things first, I loved the title.

David Hammons humorous view of the dystopian world reminded me of Terry Pratchett’s disc world. I loved David’s wry sense of humor and his approach to a post nuclear holocaust world. I enjoyed Henry, the MC, his creative solutions to staying alive and remain, un-maimed and uneaten was refreshing as was his satirical perception of the universe.

Of course like all dystopian comedies this is a little dark at times and the collective view of humanity here is less than positive, but what do you expect from a nuclear holocaust book; bunnies and lollipops?


I give this 4 out of 5 stars.

[Neil · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read

Initially coming straight off the back if Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy I found it a bit poor in a way that it seemed to be trying to write in the same vein as HHGTTG but lacking Adams' flair.
I got half way through and got a bit bored and left it for a few months to read other things and came back to it recently. I'm not sure whether the second half is much better or in reading a different style of book made it feel more appealing. The pace in the second half was much quicker and the events more interesting as it moved towards its conclusion.

[M F · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some fun, Douglas Adams-esque absurdity, but in places the plot was a little bit thin on the ground and it seemed weird for the sake of being weird. While entertaining, it didn't quite win me over. Full review to follow as this was a NetGalley read.

[Josef Hernandez · Rating 3 out of 5]

A humorous look at the apocalypse

For a full review, please go to http://www.examiner.com/review/don-t-... or http://areviewerdarkly.blogspot.com/2... and follow me on Twitter @josenher

[Scott wachter · Rating 4 out of 5]

legit fun.

[Alysha DeShaé · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reminded me of how I felt while reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.