The Big Girl's Guide to Buying Lingerie

Bluebonnet Texas #4

by Amie Stuart

"Redneck Casanova"
After a disastrous marital near-miss Jade Ballard retreats to San Antonio, cutting herself off from the world in general and more specifically her family’s country club lifestyle, which she no longer wants any part of. She takes comfort in food and eventually, the safety of an internet love affair.

"Miss Snooty Pants"
Rowdy Yates is a semi-reformed womanizer who’s leery of long-term entanglements. Until Jade, he never seriously considered anything beyond a “Wife-For-A-Night.” After months of flirting on the internet the couple meets, only to discover they already know one another. Rowdy has always mistaken Jade’s shy reserved nature for snobbishness, and Jade has always viewed the woman-loving Rowdy as a Redneck Casanova.

But the months they spent getting to know one another formed an attraction neither can fight.​

Warning: This book contains cookie consumption, shopping, rants about bras, lost bras, stolen bras, a fake engagement, hawt sexy times, and a snooty plus-sized chick who falls hard for her Redneck Casanova.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary, Westerns, Adult, Fiction, Humor

303 pages, ebook

First published October 20, 2015

About the author

Amie Stuart is the last of a dying breed: a Native Texan. She writes sexy, emotional contemporary romances set in small towns. In the past, she's worked as a receptionist, a daycare office manager, delivered pizzas, and was even a hairdresser for five years--all fodder for the writing gig. That and all those Barbara Cartland romances she cut her teeth on.

None of those careers can compare to her favorite job: writer. She's a storyteller through and through, even when she's keeping tabs on her almost-grown sons and many pets, or organizing promo and planning trips for her day job as a personal assistant. She smokes, she drinks, she writes, she curses--sometimes at the same time.

You can reach her online at www.amiestuart.com
And copy/paste the link to sign up for her newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bo1GNT

Reviews

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jade Ballard moved to San Antonio to find herself, what she found is an online flirtation with a man who wants to meet. Jade has gained some weight since moving, but she works with what she has and doing the best to build her confidence, can she meet the man who has been starring in her dreams?

Rowdy Yates has a reputation as a player, but that dried up when he began to get serious about his online girl. Now she has agreed to meet, he is hoping that his instincts are right and she is every bit of who he hopes she is. Neither Jade or Rowdy saw it coming, but they know each other and they both have a distaste for the other. Rowdy sees Jade as snotty and Jade sees Rowdy as a horndog with bad manners. However, the chemistry is there and after a few misunderstandings they begin to realize they are meant to be, even if others are trying to break them up.

Delightful, the end was odd but overall very entertaining. I am always a sucker for an opposite attracts story. I appreciated the way the author handled Jade being overweight, she was struggling a bit and her confidence needed a boost. Will check out the other books in the series.

[Sophia · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was the title. And then I read the blurb and the story sounded cute and fun since it had been a while since I read the online dating trope along with small town. Utterly irresistible!

The book turned out to be the fourth in the Bluebonnet, TX series which I wasn't aware of when I got started. Then I started to get that 'these pairs all know each other' vibe and checked. But I was already about a quarter of the way in when it happened so I shrugged and kept reading. Turns out, this one worked fine as a standalone or out of order since truthfully, I'm still not sure who half of Rowdy's adopted family are.

So, the story starts with an embarrassing scene at the store when Jade is unloading her cart at the register and the guy who gets under her skin the most saunters up just as her four packages of cookies and 40DD bras are being rung up. Rowdy has rubbed her wrong since day one in his Redneck Casanova way. And now she has just made his day as he watches her discomfort.
Good thing she has her on-line romance with 'Shy Cowboy' Robbie to help her get past her upcoming thirtieth birthday. After six month of online messages and chats, Robbie wants to meet. What will he think when he encounters plus-size shy Jade instead of the vibrant, flirty Skye?

Rowdy has enjoyed his carefree life of a different girl each night, singing and playing in the band at the dance hall, rebuilding and repairing computers, and spending time with his adopted family. But lately- okay since he encountered Skye online- he starts to dream of something a bit more permanent. He has told nobody about Skye, but now they are finally going to meet up for her birthday. Rowdy hunts up the perfect gift, chooses the best restaurant with music and dancing afterward, and wears his best clothes only to encounter...yes, that is the stuck up Jade Ballard. And yes, she drove off without a word once she realized it was him. Figures!

And let the mayhem ensue as Jade and Rowdy both have to adjust to the fact that their perfect on-line lover is that irritating person in their lives. Impossible! Or maybe not? And now Jade needs Rowdy's help to fake an engagement to her family and his family wants in on the secrets now? Dares, Girls Nights Out, a threesome or not, BBQs, letters from prison, Lingerie Shopping runs, are they really going to try it on horseback??? Only in Bluebonnet, Texas, right?

Well this one was quite the roller-coaster ride in some ways. When I first started this book, I almost didn't finish it after chapter one. Jade was depressing and went all whiny about her weight and her life ad nauseum. But then the narration switched and Rowdy took over for chapter two and my interest returned. And when chapter three hit and I realized that these two were anonymous on-line dating and didn't know their real life personas? Hooked.

The story was told alternate narrators taking over alternate chapters. I really liked that. I also liked that though this had its comedic parts, that it was actually a rather bittersweet and heartwarming story, too. Jade and Rowdy come from two different worlds, but their pasts were both sad and lonely. They have several fails and stops and starts as they have to work at personal growth and toward a relationship. It wasn't easy and I found that made it believable.

The author really made their relationship work even if it got off to a rocky start and had many shaky moments. Neither consider themselves a prize or deserving of something special, but they show each other that they are very much so.
Rowdy said some mean stuff at the beginning when they were sniping at each other, but in truth, he found Jade a physically beautiful woman and very attractive as well as sweet and understanding of others (well, other than the time she put her foot in her mouth and channeled her snob of a mother). And Jade saw past Rowdy's past to the good, caring, loyal hardworking man he is.
They had some sizzle together and I laughed at their antics as they teased and dared each other. Still not convinced by the sex on horseback, but it was good for a laugh from me. But the money scene was the last one before the epilogue. Rowdy came into his own and had me grinning from ear to ear with his playful cowboy charm.

Beyond the romance were the other connections of friends and family. This is where most of the humor came into play. Jade's family were the stuffy types though her dad and brother were a hoot. Rowdy's family were not actual relations, but they were all a close-knit group and several seemed to be the previous books' characters.

All in all, I enjoyed this fun opposites attract small town romp with a pair that made me sigh and made me laugh before making me do a swoony ah. I would definitely recommend this one to Contemporary Romance fans who prefer some spice.

I received this book from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever felt closer to someone on the internet than to people in your everyday life? There is something about the anonymity of the internet that allows you to show who you really are, ignore the social barriers that get in the way of talking about what really matters to you, and find genuine connections. (This is something you also find in books too, of course.)

Our heroine, Jade, a Texan, has met the perfect guy, “Robbie,” on a chat site devoted to the country music star, Chris Cagle. (Yum.) They spent six months emailing each other, talking about music, arguing about hockey, flirting, and getting to know each other, for real. He’s the perfect guy for her, sweet, open, and generous. She’s perfect for him, spicy, sassy, and unafraid.

But she’s afraid to meet him in real life because she’s fat.

Now, the f-word (and I mean “fat”, not the other one), is a difficult thing to talk about these days. There is the fat-shaming that people do to themselves. There is the fat-shaming that people do to others.

But this book talks about it from the perspective of someone who has to buy size 2X panties at Target, while a cute, annoying redneck cowboy guy named Rowdy stands behind her in line. From someone who was hurt, badly, and reacts to it over a period of years, by seeking the comfort of Milano cookies and not caring about herself very much.

This book squarely deals with her weight issue, acknowledging the gain, but also showing that the guy loves her curves – and showing how she learns to treat herself nicer, dress a little better, and, in short, take care of herself.

But this book is a sweet romance, and an erotic one at that. The pushes and pulls between the characters, the tension, the vulnerability, the drama? All here.

I found Jade to be the ultimate relatable heroine. She’s funny, she’s smart, and she’s vulnerable. She’s not a Barbie doll. She’s got issues with her family, with her job, with people she interacts with. Jade has a poor relationship with her snobby mother, who is, ironically, a judge; the position of being a judge works both as a career choice, and as the voice in Jade’s head. One of Jade’s reactions to her mother’s domineering ways is to get drunk at a country club, and do other public mom-shaming, which amused me to no end.

So Jade has found this guy she really likes on the internet, but they had not exchanged any pictures until she gave him her number on her 30th birthday. A twist, exposed early on in the narrative (so I don’t think that this is a true spoiler), is that “Robbie” might be, well, someone she already knows, and who gives her a hard time every chance he can. Oh, and he has beautiful blond, but thinning hair, a goatee and blue eyes. The shyness that she has in real life, mixed with the arrogant attitude he has, means that they clashed. But underneath it all, they click. And the tension of this outward selves versus inward reality drives the narrative of the story.

This book is laugh out loud funny. But it really shines with the depiction of Jade’s honesty and the drama that she finds in her life. You want her to go for her feelings, but she has things in her past that make it difficult for her to do so.

And so does he.

These are well-rounded characters with complicated, thought out back stories, lots of family members, and lots of history.

Besides reading a book like this to find connection with the characters, you also want, well, a hot read. This book delivers. It’s just really freaking sexy. Heck, the description of their kisses turned me on. And I won’t mention the sex on a horse part. Well, I guess I just did. But boy is it hot.

All in all, this book is a hot, sexy, Texan romance, with a side of sass. And a whole lot of sweet, too.

Although I was provided an ARC in exchange for an honest review, this was the kind of book I would have bought and read anyway, seeing as how I stayed up past my bed time to read it, and kept going early the next morning.

[Simply Love Book Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rosalie's review posted at Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews

“Meeting” online, ShyCowboy and SkyeBaby instantly hit it off. When the two finally meet, the initial date goes off as less than stellar. But both Jade and Rowdy realize that their internet romance could and should definitely bloom into something real. But can the two of them get past their differences and “norms” to make something of what they could have?

I really liked this book. Being a size 10, and not the normal 6 every man wants, reading about an oh so sexy lead cowboy and a bigger than size 6 girl that really hit off (and oh my in the bed…wowza the scenes are H-O-T!) was a change. Every heroine in almost every book I have read can be thrown over their man’s shoulder and rode into oblivion. As much as real men don’t live up to the book boyfriends, most women aren’t equivalent to book girlfriends (as much as we want to!). I loved this change of characters and the plot was spot on. Love, love lost, family lost, crappy home lives….The Big Girl’s Guide to Buying Lingerie has it all!

Review copy provided for an honest review.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

* A review copy was provided by the author via Netgalley for the Blog Tour *

~ 4 Stars ~

Have you ever read a book and the characters and storyline feel so real to life?

Well The Big Girl's Guide to Buying Lingerie is just that book. All I kept thinking about while reading this book was how I had many of the similar thoughts and feelings as the heroine.

This book was so entertaining!!! I thoroughly enjoyed myself while reading this book. It had everything from humor, to romance, to drama, to angry shouting matches. My emotions and heart were all over the place while reading this book. I have never read a novel that has hit so close to home as this one did. I honestly felt like I personally knew the characters. I could personally relate to some of the things and feelings Jade went through in this story. I will say it didn't hurt that the Hero was a sexy and swoony Cowboy ;)

This is my first Amie Stuart book and it won't be my last. I chose to read this author because of the blurb on this book. It just drew me in and I am glad I took a chance on a new author to me. I thought the storyline and characters were completely entertaining and developed well. I also thought the story flowed perfectly. I loved how she showed real aspects to a relationship and that even though it is fiction, a love story isn't always roses and rainbows. I think that helped with the reader to connect with this couple.

In this book we meet Jade (Skye) and Rowdy (Robbie). These two met online in a music email chat room. Over the course of 7 months they got to know each other without the hangups of looks and physical attributes. They really got to the heart of each other. Jade's birthday is coming up and Rowdy thinks this is the perfect time for them to meet for the first time. Jade was hesitant but finally agreed. I am not going to tell you what happens then, you'll just have to read the book to find out how that date went and what becomes of Jade and Rowdy. Let's just say it isn't all smooth sailing.

I enjoyed all of the secondary characters, with the exception of Emerald (Jade's sister), Trudy (Jade's mom) and Allan (Jade's Ex) The Boudreauxes were a fantastic, close knit family who took in Rowdy when he was a teenager and have accepted him as one of their own. I loved the family bond we got to see throughout this novel. It has made me want to go to the beginning of the series and read the other characters books.

The Big Girl's Guide to Buying Lingerie is a Stand alone novel, but is part of Amie's Bluebonnet Series. The story lines are complete and each book is about another new couple, but there are reoccurring characters from the previous books. Amie does a great job connecting all the dots, so you don't feel lost or confused while reading this story.

So if you are looking for that enjoyable, entertaining love story with characters who are real and relatable and a cowboy to boot, then this is a book you should definitely give a try.

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[Ivy Deluca · Rating 2 out of 5]

-Freebie, always a plus
-Like the meeting online, hate in real life/You’ve Got Mail trope.
-Has a BBW heroine who is actually BBW, again, this is my jam so I was into it. *does a little awkward happy dance*
-Part of series, but still worked as a standalone. I didn’t need to read the previous books, but there’s alot of characters in this one, so I would’ve liked to have had that backstory. But the freebie wasn’t the first one, so...you know, I made do.
-The characters aren’t cookie cutter and have distinct personalities. I know I did not like Jade Skye (yes, that’s the heroine’s full name) when I met her, but I respect that she was a product of her upbringing and she does grow emotionally throughout the story to someone that I didn’t actively dislike. Same for Rowdy (these names were killing me), he’s not perfect and yet he does have a distinct arc and grows as the book goes on. However…
-Lines are crossed. If y’all know how I roll with my romances (no OW/OM contact unless it’s erotica) then you KNOW I was displeased when I hit about the halfway point. Yes, it colored my perception and lowered my rating BUT, I did keep reading because the writing was interesting, so kudos for that.
-It doesn’t all come together. Unfortunately, to me romance is king. If I’m not feeling that, then it falls flat. Also, the ending felt a bit rushed and while I liked aspects of the story, the romance turned out to be more Price is Right horn than my jam, as it were.



The Bottom Line 2 stars
It was an borderline ok book that could have been more had I loved the romance.


For more reviews, visit

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a little while to get into this book. About 30 percent through is when it took off for me and became a wonderful read. The author gives you a great plot with some wonderful funny characters living day to day lives. Rowdy is something with his charm he could charm the fur off a wild cat. Jade is a girl like most of us she just comes from a richer class which you can't tell unless you get around her snob of a mother. Jade and Rowdy are two people who know each other and can't stand the other. Both go on the net joining a group and start chatting together, they have some hot and heavy chats neither knowing who they are really talking to until the day they agree to meet. This is where it gets interesting as they take another look at the other and find there are things they do like. As the author takes the story to the next level things get very complicated and very humorous.

For most heavy set people being fat can be a big issue the author gives you a story that most of us can relate to from meeting for the first time to having to remove your clothes in front of a hot guy. Jade knowing she will never be the perfect six 6 that her mother wants her to be leaves home and moves on in her life. She builds a great life which doesn't include her family. Going home for her birthday she is back into a corner telling her mother that she has a man in her life. She must now prove it, the lies build she most come face to face with how she feels about herself and how others truly see her.

I really like Jade as a character she learns there is more to live as she grows to except herself. She learns to take better care of herself as she learns she can be herself not what her mother wants of her. Jade is funny, smart and a normal person just like you and I. Jade is really ashamed of letting herself go and she thinks she isn't good enough in a lot of ways. As she comes out learning to dress better and be herself she grows as a person. Not all men want a size 6 some want a lady with tons of curves. I love her humor and the mess her mouth and actions it get her into.

Rowdy is a great character as he shows Jade just how great she is. He has his hands full with her mother along with his own family issues. He hasn't had the best life which has put him off relationship. He only does one nights that is until Jade gets her hands on him, now he is rethinking about his life and just how well Jade fits in it. He needs to turn the tables on this hot little mess and get her to see things his way. First he must clean up the his messy life, then lay his cards down to get the women he wants.

Jades mother better know as Judge or HH is a very snobby lady. I really do believe she wants what is best for her daughter just goes about it wrong. The author does give you a look at how she use to be but we do not find out what changed her to the women she is today. Her, Jade and Rowdy have some very heated talks. I am not sure they will ever work out their issues. Jade father is a sweet as well as her brother who likes to call her fat names. Rowdy isn't to happy about the name calling as he gives the family a few facts. You can bet when this family comes together sparks will fly as tempters rise.

I found this book to be a delight of humor, serious as the characters deal with family and the over weight issue. The characters are just normal people which have family issues along with have a past they would like to forget but much face it head on. It is a well rounded book with some very steamy scenes that will make you blush. I always wondered if you could do it on a horse well I found my answer. The author gives a very sweet read with a ton of sass as people bump heads more than once to make it a wonderful read. I am looking forward to reading more in this series from a author who takes issues which are painful and turn them around. I have to be honest I was going to rate this a 4 but about half way through the author pulled me in to a book I could not put down. I love the humor and this writing style where you meant head on saying what you think.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just more of you to love is so not something a woman wants to hear, and Jade Ballard is no different. But she has to face it, since she gained a bunch of weight after her fiance left her at the altar to run off with a stripper, there's no getting around it, she's a big girl. And not just a little bit big. When she's at Target buying new lingerie, and that annoying rancher, Rowdy, is right behind her in line, that's when the checker needs a price check on her size 2X panties and 40DD bra! Could she be more embarrassed!

Well, yes, she could, cause she hasn't exactly told the sweet, shy guy she's been flirting with online exactly what she looks like. And now, after seven months of exchanging sweet and sexy emails after first meeting at a music site, he wants to meet her in person and she's not at all sure how he'll react to how she looks.

So you've probably figured out that Jade has some issues. It all stems from growing up with a judge for a mom who's so tightly wound that Jade calls her ma'am rather than mom and Her Honor is the one who thought the guy she was going to marry was still a treasure she should try to fix things with, even after his escape with the exotic dancer.

So here's what happens, or at least some of the story! Jade agrees to meet her shy cowboy at a local restaurant and tells him she'll be wearing a red blouse and black and red skirt and she's looking for a tall, blonde guy in khakis and a dark shirt. But when she finds that her mystery man is none other than the aforementioned Rowdy, Jade won't even stay to talk to him and hightails it out of town to meet her family at their country club where they've arranged her birthday dinner,

Things start out poorly and gets worse with every drink Jade has and by the time her ex-fiancé shows up to offer her another chance, she blurts out that she's been seeing a big, handsome guy and they just got engaged. She's planning to wait a decent time and tell HH and her dad they broke things off, but her mom shows up in town to meet this man she says she's marrying. In desperation, Jade grabs Rowdy at the bar and begs him to go along with the charade and he agrees -- for a very interesting price.

Turns out Rowdy has a crazy family and some issues of his own and he and Jade find that their preconceived ideas about each other just might be wrong. There's lots of humor and lots of sex and, be warned, the heat level is pretty high. You might even have to read some parts in the privacy of your own room! A fun, funny, sexy read where it's nice to see a chubby girl get the hot guy...

This was a book I received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. You can read more romance reviews at https://ladieswholunchreviews.wordpre...

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't really like this. I didn't hate it, but I didn't like it. I think because I didn't really like or connect with either of the main characters.

Jade is the heroine. Her family is well off. Her father is a professor and her mother is a judge. She was engaged to a lawyer who left her for the stripper at his bachelor party. She had a slight break down and she's since moved to Bluebonnet, Texas. She works as a liquor sales person/representative. She's kind of "let herself go" - has gained weight, doesn't wear much makeup or take care of herself She's sort of isolated herself and doesn't really have any friends, but she's made an online connection with a guy she knows as "ShyCowboy" or "Robbie".

Rowdy is the hero. He builds and repairs computers for a living. He is also a member of a band that performs something like three nights a week at a dance hall/beer garden. He's made an online connection with a woman he knows as "SkyeBaby".

So, it turns out they know each other in real life and they do NOT get along. Rowdy thinks Jade is stuck up and snobby. Jade thinks Rowdy is a "redneck Casanova". Rowdy greatly enjoys doing things to get a rise out of Jade.

During these online/email conversations, Shy/Rowdy wants to meet Skye/Jade. He asks to take her out for her thirtieth birthday (he's four years younger than she is). She agrees (while choking on a cookie - such a HUGE deal made of this). They meet and it doesn't go well. Jade, particularly, has a bad reaction and just leaves Rowdy on the sidewalk.

So much of the book is just hot and cold. Rowdy loves women. All women. He doesn't seem to have any standards and has this "wife for a night" mentality. But, he thinks he could have something with Skye; until he finds out she's Jade. They do sleep together and she makes a slightly negative comment about one of his female friends (sister-in-law, I think) and Rowdy just shuts her down. He goes home with a girl he knows from high school and her cousin. He lets them kiss him, they get topless and put their hands down his pants before he decides it feels wrong because of Jade and then leaves. I didn't really find anything very special about him.

I found the idea of his past relationship continuing in to his current relationship with "Susie" to be creepy.

Jade, for her part, spent a lot of time chasing Rowdy.

I didn't read any of the previous books in this series and I found myself completely lost when it came to the dynamics of his extended family.

I'm sad I didn't enjoy this more. Overweight heroine, good-looking and younger hero plus internet relationship kind of hits my buttons. Oh well.

[Deb M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bluebonnet, Texas is one HOT little town!

Upon reading the last page of The Big Girl's Guide To Buying Lingerie, I clutched my iPad to my chest and sighed. I wanted to read it all over again. It was that good.

Jade Ballard is a big, beautiful woman. Even though 50 lbs. have snuck up on her over the last three years, she's still much happier with her current life. Being jilted at the altar may have been mortifying at the time but, considering she didn't love the sleaze ball, it was a huge relief. Of course Jade's mother, the Honorable Judge, was none too happy that her hand picked choice of a hubby for Jade bailed. Humiliation be damned, it gave Jade the perfect excuse to leave town and get out from under the domineering clutches of mommy dearest. Let me tell you, Judge Trudy is a nightmare with a stick up her hiney. It's obvious where Jade's insecurities and poor self image originated. Without a backward glance, Jade hightails it to San Antonio and starts a new life. If she could just get a handle on her overeating. What began as a way to soothe her humiliation is now a hard-to-kick habit. I think Jade personifies many women. She feels the pressure of family and society to be thin and look fit. She's come to believe she's not attractive, even though she IS beautiful. Jade is shy and self conscious, afraid of being judged. The armor she wears is intended to keep everyone away, especially men. So when Jade discovers an online email loop for her favorite country music star, Chris Cagle, she's ecstatic. She can hang out and chat with other fans as Skyebaby, (Skye being her middle name) eat mint Milanos to her heart's content and no one will be the wiser of her overly padded figure.

It's just...for seven months she's been private messaging with Robbie, aka ShyCowboy, on the Chris Cagle site. The freedom that comes with not talking face to face makes it easy to share everything with each other. Isn't that the truth? Their friendship is full of teasing and flirting and sexy innuendos. As Skyebaby, Jade's self doubt and insecurities are gone. She lets loose the personality her mother has stomped on for years. The real Jade is amazing. She's smart, funny, and doesn't take herself too seriously. She's even confided in Robbie about being jilted. And she feels Robbie has been reciprocating. The one little detail Jade hasn't mentioned is the fact she's overweight. She's frightened it will be a deal breaker. Now he wants to take her out to dinner for her birthday. Ack! So far she's successfully side stepped hints about meeting but she can't put him off any longer. Besides, she wants desperately to meet this man she may be falling for.

Robbie "Rowdy" Yates finally has a date with his Skyebaby! After months of online chatting, flirting, and quite a few cases of blue balls, ShyCowboy has convinced Skye to meet him for dinner. He's nervous, which is unusual for the guy who, up until a few months ago, played the field hard. He's given up his "wife-for-a-night" routine and, if you can believe it, he's been...*shh* celibate for three months. Rowdy's attraction to Skybaby is so strong he's certain the sparks will fly when they finally meet. But is he good enough for her? Rowdy has a few demons in his closet he hasn't shared with Skye. Rowdy puts on a good front as a cocky, carefree flirt. But seeing him with his large group of family and friends, we know better. He's a good guy who cares about the people in his life. I liked Rowdy even when he was being a jerk. It's all a show. Like Jade, he doesn't want to get hurt, nor does he want to hurt anyone else.

Oh boy, when these two meet the sparks do fly! Just not in the way you'd think. Turns out Jade and Rowdy already know each other. She's the liquor rep for Bluebonnet Dancehall where his band plays. She's exchanged barbs with the arrogant, cocky jerk more times than she cares to count. Rowdy is stunned to discover that his sweet, sexy, funny Skye is the uptight chick he calls Miss Snooty Pants.

I knew it was coming but was still unprepared when Jade and Rowdy come face to face outside the restaurant. Poor Jade is stunned, horrified, and embarrassed. Ms. Stuart did a masterful job writing this heartbreaking scene. I experienced every emotion Jade felt as it washed over her. It's also a turning point for both characters. A good turning point.

Rowdy's a smart guy. Smart enough to know the Miss Snooty Pants routine is not the real Jade, his Skyebaby. He's proven right when Jade lets down her guard because she needs Rowdy's help. Seems Judge Trudy thinks they're engaged. Which works perfectly for Rowdy's plan to win Jade over and convince her he really is her ShyCowboy. And his convincing is mighty hot.

The Big Girl's Guide To Buying Lingerie gives us just enough angst to keep us on our toes but not frustrated. It's one of the things I love most about Ms. Stuart's writing. The pace is fast, the scenes flow, and there's rarely anything stuffed in for filler. Rowdy's extended family, characters from previous Bluebonnet books, bring lots of humor and good advice, as do Jade's brother and dad. The secondary characters are carefully created gems that bring sparkle and richness to the story.

Bottom line...Amie Stuart has done it again. Not that I'm surprised, because I love Ms. Stuart's books. Full of quirky humor, down-to-earth characters, often times hilarious situations, and steamy sex, what's not to love? She also creates wonderful stories that are truly from the heart. Her characters aren't perfect. They are real people whose lives we can relate to because they are like us in so many ways. But no matter what, they get their HEA, and that's why I keep coming back for more.

ARC provided by NetGalley
Visit www.xtreme-delusions.com for more reviews by Deb.

[domestic_godess_reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great

I really enjoyed this book. Finally s heroine who is truly plus size and not just curvy!! Yay for big girls and the men who love them.

[Sophie (Blogger) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved reading The Big Girls Guide To Buying Lingerie for a number of reasons. The first being the author tells it like it is, the good, the bad and the real. The second is that I love that the author wrote a book about a curvy woman who does want to change but doesn't let that stop her from living her life. The last reason is how much most woman will be able to relate to the female character and the situations she has goes through.
Jade Ballard is a normal with a good job as a alcohol sales rep in a small town, the only thing that makes her unique is her love for Chris Cagle. Then again, she isn't the only one there is a list on the internet that fans of his can meet, talk and get to know each other, which is how she came to having a online relationship of sorts with Robbie. For over six months, Jade and Robbie talked about everything they could think off, know each others likes and dislikes, each others secret fantasies but the only thing they haven't done is met in person.
Robbie had been hinting for months to finally met Jade in person and with her 30th Birthday coming up, he knows it will be the perfect time to meet the woman who had filled his life with happiness since first talking to her months ago. Although, similar to many first dates it doesn't go well at all, and saying that is even a understatement.
It would seem that they already knew each other, in fact Robbie who goes by Rowdy as well dislikes Jade due to her attitude when ever they meet and how he believes she thinks she is better than everyone. Once, they get over the shock of who each other is, they begin to realise that the front they put on for everyone else is not them, they know the real them but they are afraid to be that version of themselves for fear of others not like them.
After a dinner with her family Jade decides that it is time to take her life into her own hands which in turn back-fires and pushes her closer to Rowdy that she wanted, but Rowdy decides to use it to his advantage and strikes a deal with Jade one that involves his wildest fantasy and how she is going to help him achieve it.
Jade soon begins to realise that when it comes to that Chris Cagle loving Redneck she is in over her head, he is everything she wants and doesn't want at the same time. Although the thing that strikes her most is all her life, people have told her to change who she is but once she let all that go, she realised that she didn't have to change, she just had to be herself.
The Big Guide To Buying Lingerie is a funny and amazing book that I think everyone should read, especially women as it shows that it doesn't matter what size you are, it matters about what is on the inside and how you show it, whether it is with a smile or being yourself. With it's realistic situations and loveable characters, it is not a book to be missed at all!
If I had to sum this book up in three words they would be Humorous, Witty and Brilliant.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted on www.upallnightbookblog.com

Show of hands...

Who presents themselves differently online than they do in real life? Pretty much everybody. No shame in that! With the computer screen standing as wall, it's easy to be who you want to be or who you really are.

Jade Ballard and Rowdy Yates have done that. They met in an online group and really hit it off. They flirt, confess, tease, joke and let their true selves shine through. Withholding only their true names, Jade and Rowdy find in each other someone they can relate to and maybe even love. What they don't know is that they already know each other. Y'all, they can't stand each other!!! He thinks she's a rich snob and she considers him a Redneck Casanova! When they finally "meet" for the first time and true identities are revealed, both Jade and Rowdy are forced to reconcile who they know and who they think they know.

I really enjoyed this book. It was funny and honest. Amie Stuart does a fantastic job of creating characters that are relatable and believable. Jade is great! She's both strong-willed and shy. She hit the bottom and got back up and created a life that is bigger and better than the one she had before. She's mostly comfortable in her own skin (which is more than some can admit!) and her self-confidence is always on the rise. That's my kind of girl! And Rowdy! Good gracious! He plays in a band at a dancehall wearing a cowboy hat and boots! Be still my cowboy lovin' heart!!! He's also funny and sweet with a big heart. Few are those who get a glimpse of the real Rowdy vs the Redneck Casanova, but for those who do get the chance to see beyond the facade, you will fall in love with him.

Now get this...The Big Girl's Guide to Buying Lingerie is PART OF A SERIES!!! How did I not know this? Jade and Rowdy's story is actually the FOURTH book, and there is a 5th one coming out. This is important information!!! From what I can tell, the stories are stand-alones with characters and events that overlap, but nothing that would keep you from reading them out of order. I'm trying to decide whose story I want to read next!

ARC provided by Net Galley for honest review.

[Alida Hart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me cracking up laughing from the first page. Unloading a basket of lady’s undergarments and feminine hygiene products, your new bra getting stuck in the little holes in the basket and being offered assistance by the hottie behind you is totaling embarrassing if it’s happening to you but completely hilarious when it’s happening to a character in a book. I felt for Jade when the cashier asked for a price check on her panties but I was still cracking up. I’m a plus sized girl so I could really identify with Jade right from the beginning so imagine how we felt (both me and Jade) when we thought Mr Hottie (Rowdy) was a chubby hater. I wanted to pour us a couple of shots each and hire a couple of biker dudes to take care of the douchebag. But we were wrong (I can admit that) and I’m glad we were because I really liked him in the beginning. So as the story goes on you feel the push and pull from both Jade and Rowdy as they get to know each other. They misunderstand each other, jump to conclusions, let others thoughts/ideas effect their actions, and generally muck everything up all the time just like regular people do. Jade’s mom is a real piece of work and her brother is kind of mean but funny and you can tell he loves his sister and has her back when she needs it. Rowdy has a big extended family that’s there for him and the women are ready to straighten both him and Jade out when it’s needed without it seeming like their meddling too much.

This book is definitely worth whatever Amie Stuart decides to charge for it and the number of hours you will spend reading it. There is no cliffhanger and it is book 4 in a series about the people in Bluebonnet, Texas. I haven’t had the chance to read the first 3 boos yet but I will definitely make the time to read them very soon.

[Regina Schroer]

I received this book free from Ms. Stuart in exchange for a review.

This was the first Bluebonnet Texas book I have read. I'll admit the title is what made me say yes to this endeavor. I myself would be considered a big girl by lots of people, and I know exactly what a struggle it is to buy lingerie if your not a size 2! So I expected a comedy, but that's not what I got, instead I got a real cowboy romance with a little erotica thrown in for good measure.

Jade has never measured up in her mother's eyes, and apparently her ex-fiance's eyes either. He left her at the alter and ran off with the stripper from his bachelor party. Heartbroken Jade leaves town to start over far from her mother's constant nagging. Jade is a huge Chris Cagle fan, and meets fellow fan Robbie on a popular fan website.

Robbie is every girls dream and always says all the right things at the right times. Rowdy Yates is a wife-for-a-night kind of guy, and he totally rubs Jade the wrong way. After messaging back of forth for several months, Robbie convinces Jade to meet in person. Jade and Robbie(Rowdy) are both shocked to find out that they know each other through Jades work. Jade storms off after discovering the Robbie and the obnoxious man-whore Rowdy Yates are one in the same.

After another regretful trip home, Jade decides that she wants to give Robbie/Rowdy a shot, but like all couples, there are peaks and valleys to get over first.

I loved the way Ms. Stuart wrote this book, it was like looking inside my own memories of never feeling good enough for others. And boy did I fall for Robbie/Rowdy! This book is really a romance book, with just enough sauce to make it REALLY good! I will definitely recommend if for my friends who are new to the genre.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jade has had it a bit tough after her ex fiance left her at the alter for the stripper. Its been a while since then and the only thing that seems to be looking up is the guy shes been talking to Robbie online. They are going to finally meet after several months on her birthday. Little did she know was that she already knew him and his womanizing ways. But on the computer he seems like a genuinely great guy. If that wasn't bad enough her mother requests to see her at a county club for her birthday and the manages to run into her ex. To get him and her mother off her back she goes on to say shes already in a relationship and engaged. Now she just has to convince Robbie/Rowdy to help convince her family that.

I loved this book. I love when I get my hands on a less than perfect plus sized women as the main character. Personally I find myself more connected to characters like that, being a plus sized gal myself. I love how real she was and I think that many people can relate to her with so much of her struggles. This book isnt' for everyone I feel like there's a scene in the book that people should be open minded about I feel like there will be someone to complain about it. If you read the book you might understand what I mean. I loved watching Jade gain the confidence she needed as the story progressed. I loved that Jade and Rowdy was great for eachother being able to face and give perspective to each other in the daily problems that they were going through. Overall a great book I really enjoyed it.

[Gillian Felix · Rating 3 out of 5]

The characters in this novel felt like people who I would know. Thank the book heavens that they were not perfect.

At first I was a bit confused because I didn't realize that the main characters were alter egos of themselves, but I wasn't alone, the characters got that realization when I did. I would describe the writing style as funny, witty and cute.

In Big Girls Guide to Buying Lingerie, you'll meet Rowdy the Red Neck Cassanova and his family and friends. And Jade, Miss Snooty Pants and her very dysfunctional family.

When Rowdy and Jade meet they form superficial opinions of each other. Both of them totally in love with each other's alter egos not realizing that they have more in common than just being fans of Chris Cagle. It was cute how they fell for each other in a chat room without ever meeting or sharing a photo.

Can a Red Neck Cassanova and an uptown girl make sweet music together while dealing with family drama? Can the fantasy live up to the real thing?

As I got to know the characters it was hard to pick a side. Both Jade and Rowdy were very relatable and nice fun characters. I love the way the author described the world they lived in. For someone who's never been to Texas, I felt that the author painted a wonderful picture of the small Texas town that the book was set in.

Some parts of the book dragged for me and some parts were predictable but it was still a fun read.

[Lady · Rating 5 out of 5]

Made For Each Other


I so did not realize that this book was part of a series! That said, I am sure it would make a lot more sense if read in order. This the fourth book.

Jade has escaped her family, if not her past. Her mother was never happy with her. She was always too big, too fat, too much. After being left at the altar by the man her mother chose for her she moved away to small a small town named Bluebonnet and consoled herself with food. Now she really is fat. Mostly she is happy with herself and who she is but in the back if her head she hears her mother's criticisms... That is why she is so afraid to tell her internet beau that she is fat. That is also why she is afraid to meet him in person. What if he doesn't like her in person? What if she is too fat? Not pretty enough? How will she stand it if she loses him?

Rowdy has never felt this way about a woman before. No more Wife For A Night flings or casual arrangements for him! Skyebaby is all he can think about and all he wants. Will he ever convince her to meet him in person? Will she like what she sees?

This romantic comedy had me in stitches from the very beginning!I can't wait to go back and read all the books I missed as well as any future installments!

***This series is suitable for adult readers who like some rom com in their small town chick lit romances with a large helping of sass& snark :)

[Avid Reader Amy's Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

Big Girl's Guide To Buying Lingerie is a romance that pairs a little comedy with an episode of Catfish. I found the book entertaining but at some points it fell flat. The book is a little fast paced but the characters have been cyber-dating for a while. The author balances the story by introducing us to new characters such as Nick, Jade's brother. By the way, Nick is hilarious. We do get updates on supporting characters of the series. So your favorites are not left behind.

Spoilers Ahead

My biggest dislike of the book is the outdoor sex scene. Sex on a horse. OMG! No. I'm all for experimenting but this scene was uncomfortable to read. I can't imagine anyone actually doing this in real life. Jade said it best, “No wonder you couldn’t get anyone to do this with you.” Yes, no wonder.

End of Spoiler

I did like that the author didn't make the characters immediately fall in love when meeting in person. I loved that it was dragged out and the romance had to develop.

Fans of this series will like that you are given updates of the characters from the series.

I found that this book was entertaining but at times the story was a little sluggish. Overall it was a pretty good book.

**I received a copy of this book, from the author, in exchange for a honest review.**

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

TBGGtBL is a phenomenal book. The way Stuart touches on women's body image issues is absolutely beyond beautiful. Stuart writes Jade's perspective in a way that hits so close to home I felt more than connected to Jade... I could have been her. There is literally not one thought written regarding Jade's struggle with her self-esteem that I have not had at least once in my life. Never have I felt so in tune with a character. Never. Jade is relatable, honest, and emotional - I love her.

Rowdy is a whole other ball game. It's good that we get his POV, or we would hate him!! But, throughout, Rowdy is a great representation of real men. Men we want, men we date, real, honest-to-goodness men. And, he is deep. That man is not a wet-weather creek... he is an ocean.

Jade and Rowdy's relationship is fabulous. And by fabulous I mean the push and pull, the love and hate is addictive and so freaking realistic I, again, felt as if I was a part of the book, not just reading along. At no point did I feel comfortable pausing to return to real life. I wanted to soak up every moment, warring between rushing to get to the end and slowing down to savor the moment.

This is a must read. A top of the list for 2015.

I was given an ARC by the author in exchange for an honest review.

[Jennifer Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this story from Net Galley. Yay books!

Spoilers possible ahead...

I got a little lost while I was first reading this. I'm not sure what that was about. Parts of it was confusing and I felt like I kept missing some words or something. I don't know...

Thankfully, after getting a little ways into it, it started getting better. I did still have a few problems through the rest of the story, but I got though it.

I loved the idea of this story. A big girl, just turning 30 (I can relate) and a sexy reformed ladies man who loves her (wish I could relate...sigh). Even the whole pretend engagement was a hit. Funny at times, and awkward at others. And there were some pretty hot scenes in there too.

I'm still on the "horsey thing" though...really? Like, really? I, just...umm, really?

I kind of wished that Jade had made things harder for Rowdy...just to have made him sweat. That would have been awesome!

Only downside is that I will probably have Chris Cagle's "Chicks Dig It" song stuck in my head now...

Well...maybe that's not a downside.

[PoshTomes · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted more from this book!

While the author tried to explain with words that Jade shouldn't change for a man, the character's actions were completely contradictory. I hated how Rowdy never treated her like a lady or expressed himself at all. Overall, not enjoyable!

[Geri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hold on to your cowboy hats! This story is funny and will have you laughing one minute and fanning yourself the next because of the sexy scenes. Loved the modern twist on the cowboy romance with the online part and especially loved that Jade was a curvy girl and seemed genuine. Jade and Rowdy are a terrific couple and they will keep you entertained throughout. The both of them think they are a match, but when they finally meet they discover that relationships aren't always what they look like on paper or online. Deciding if they can work through their issues and stay a couple or walk away from each other is what will keep you turning the pages. I think this whole series is a great idea and will keep coming back for more!!

[Kelley Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first time reading Ms. Stuart's work so I wasn't sure what to expect. And, I wasn't aware it was part of a series. So, this novel can definitely be read as a stand alone. However, I enjoyed this one so much I think I may have to read the other three also. Anyway, on with the review!

This is a fun, quick, interesting read that proves things aren't always what they seem. The characters, basically, have two persona's, one they show to the world and another online. Perception plays a big role in the storyline. This book is well written and the characters are very likable. I highly recommend this novel.

ARC received from the author in exchange for an honest review.

[Betty Finch · Rating 5 out of 5]

i was sent this book for an honest opinion of it.

Robbie aka Rowdy, and Jade aka Skye, spent months getting to know each other but never laid eyes on each other, or so they thought.

When they finally agree to meet for Skye's birthday, they are shocked at who they actually had been falling for. They had never thought the other was worth their time until that night.

Both having demons in their past, they have to figure out how to get past them.

Amie Stuart will draw you into their lives and have you hoping the story will keep going on and on. I highly recommend this book.

[Crystal Deshaies-Hilbun · Rating 1 out of 5]

I typically don't DNF a book, but this book was just awful. I couldn't force myself to finish it. The writing was mechanically okay, but I just couldn't get on board with the characters. The heroine was just...awful. I couldn't stand being in her head anymore. The hero was a jerk. I absolutely hated him. I love reading romances containing plus-size women, but this one was bad. The hero kept making fun of the heroine and the heroine was absolutely whiny. After over a month of trying to force myself to finish, I give up. This book just isn't for me.

[Jennifer Bruce · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley.

What do you do when the guy you can't stand is the guy you've been crushing on online? Jade will soon find out when she realizes her dream man is actually the redneck who makes her blood boil! With tons of help from their families it's going to be a heck of a bumpy ride to happily ever after!

[Zeinab Dh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this in exchange of an honest review, I am a fan of Amie work and as usual her work is amazing great characters wonderful plot must read everyone

[Sophie (slovenianbookworm) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars.

It wasn't anything special, really.

[Ludovica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holy hell, do I love reading books about heroines who are plus-size/fat/chubby/whatever you call it and still are perceived and treated as the hottest thing to walk the earth since freshly microwaved hot pockets by the hero. “The Big Girl’s Guide to Buying Lingerie” promised just that, and damn, did it deliver. This is a book that made me feel good in my own plus-size skin, a book filled with my favorite tropes (‘You Got Mail’s famous ‘I’m in love with you on the internet but I hate you in real life’ trope, lovely misunderstandings and the great ‘We have to be in a relationship’ trope) and with characters and moments that damn near made me swoon. Mostly. But let’s talk about how great the characters are before we go into nitpicking mode.

THE PRINCESS AND THE COWBOY

When her wedding plans fall apart and her mother’s controlling nature becomes too much for Jade Ballard, she flees from her family and starts a new life for herself as a liquor sales rep, carefully rebuilding her shattered self-esteem piece by piece. She falls in love with a guy she met through a fan mailing list and who loves her favorite singer as much as she does, and one day decides to meet him in real life – only to find out that he is none other than Rowdy Yates, the provocative asshole who keeps bugging her whenever she visits the bar he works at. She can’t know, of course, that Rowdy only behaves like that to her because he feels like she looks down her nose at him and his Redneck ways, even though what he perceives as snobbism is just Jade’s crippling shyness.

And then, after Jade runs away in anger, thinking Rowdy had masterminded this all along, difficulties of the maternal sort happen, and Jade begs Rowdy to play her boyfriend for her mother’s sake.

Jade and Rowdy are two people with very strong personalities, well-defined understandings of who they are, and a whole ton of lovely little wounds from their life before they met each other that just beg to be poked unintentionally. And I was so happy when I read that Rowdy actually found Jade attractive even when he still thought she was a snob, because ‘real beauty is on the inside’ might be generally a very good and very true sentiment, but there are still times when you want to feel desirable even when you’re a big girl. Rowdy using his Redneck persona later to scandalize Jade’s mum and generally everybody at Jade’s mum’s country club just makes him even more lovable.

I also really, really liked Jade, not just because I empathized a lot with her. She has a lot of baggage and quite a number of emotional scars from growing up with her mother, but she decided to break out of her family’s stifling embrace and to change her life, even if it means that she’ll be all on her own. I admire this kind of courage a lot. She is insecure about her body, and she is still extremely shy, but she is getting more and more self-assured, and I think she would even have gotten there without Rowdy, though her romance with Rowdy does seem to help. I was so stoked for her when she got her comeuppance against her mum and her ex-fiancé, and this book might have one of my favorite scenes in all of romance history (mild spoiler ahead):

Rowdy punches Jade’s ex-fiancé right in the face in the middle of the country club when he tells him that he should start saving up, since her liposuctions are going to be expensive. I was so angry at him and then Rowdy just goes and re-arranges his nose and it was SUCH a great moment.

The plot of “The Big Girl’s Guide to Buying Lingerie” is pretty much a basic, trope-filled journey from ‘I hate you but I need you to help me (also you’re kinda hot)’ to ‘You fill out an emptiness in my heart that I denied existed for too long (also you’re hot as fuck)’, and it’s just really well-written and well-paced all over. The side-characters slash future or past heroes and heroines, obligatory for any romance series, are likable and not overbearing, and even though I don’t have any real desire to read the rest of the series (since the main attraction in this book was the plus-size heroine for me), the world of the small town which is the setting of this story feels realistic and well-defined.

By now you might ask yourself ‘But if the book was so good, why did you only give it 4 points?’

Well, I will tell you why.

Because of the horse scene. Because of the god damn horse scene.

THAT IS NOT HOW HORSES WORK OH MY GOD STOP PLEASE

There is a scene in this book where Jade and Rowdy have sex on a horse.

Just take a second to take that in.

It’s Rowdy’s biggest fantasy, apparently. The book claims that he does a lot of horseback riding, and that he basically grew up around horses, but if THAT is his biggest fantasy, I call bullshit. Especially with how the whole thing was executed.

Don’t get me wrong, I guess you can fuck on a horse. It might be very difficult, but I’ve seen people in equestrian vaulting who can stand on their horses on one foot while the horse is in gallop, and I’ve personally been lying on my back on horses in trot, so I guess there might be some way to figure it out – not that it’s likely going to be enjoyable for either the humans nor the horse, but it might be possible.

It’s just absolutely not possible if you do it like Jade and Rowdy do it.

A short disclaimer here: I’ve been riding horses since I was 4. I have never gotten very far with dressage or jumping, since I’ve basically stopped riding more than once a year when I was 10 (after an accident), but after that I still spent one to two weeks a year with my riding breeches glued to the saddle of various equine friends. I have done a bit of vaulting and watched a lot more, I have been on horses without saddles and I’ve watched friends of mine ride without tack. I fancy myself kind of well-informed in how horses work, how humans on horses work and what you can do to a horse before it throws you off and eats your shirt.

And as a person who has spent her fair share of time on horses, let me tell you: Horses just do not work the way they do in this book.

I know this is basically the pinnacle of nitpicking, but if you’ve read any of my other reviews, you know I’m the queen of nitpicking anyway, and this one absolutely horrible, ridiculous scene that kept my eyes glued to my kindle as if it was a pileup on my way to work is the one stain of ridiculous bullshit in an otherwise pretty much perfect book. And this scene has haunted me. For months. So all of you can now bear with me venting my spleen about this unrealistic, ridiculous, absolutely no good scene.

Let me describe what happens. I’m not going to put a spoiler here because honestly, you should be glad that I forewarn you, but I’m going to give you two space lines so you don’t have to look if you don’t want to.

~*~

~*~

So Jade and Rowdy come to a horse enclosure where Rowdy’s horse already waits for them. They don’t have any saddle or any tack, only a blanket, even though this is going to be Jade’s first time on a horse, and even though with what they want to do, they could REALLY use those stirrups (riding horses without saddle is a personal pet peeve of mine, btw, because it’s shit for their backs, but that’s another topic for another day). Jade gets up on the horse, for the first time in her life, might I add, on sidesaddle, and Rowdy gets up behind her. Now, riding side saddle without a saddle is basically a trick bit you might learn to build trust between a rider and a horse, but believe me when I tell you, it is not something for beginners, especially when you have a blanket on the horse which is very likely going to slip quite a bit. And given that both Rowdy and Jade are on the horse (poor thing, that just can’t be good for her back), it’s likely Jade is sitting somewhere in the proximity of the horse’s shoulders. And then the horse starts walking. Even with Rowdy holding her, this is still very, very unlikely not to end with Jade slipping down.

And then Rowdy starts guiding his horse by the mane.

By the mane.

I know a lot of people look at a horse’s mane and are like ‘Oh, it’s like hair, I bet you could use that as a rein!’, but no. No, you cannot. The only thing your horse will do if you pull its mane is to throw up her neck and try to get the pull off, because that shit hurts, and the horse doesn’t even understand what way you want her to go. There are ways to lead a horse without tack, but her mane is not it. Just… no. No. And I don’t even want to know what exactly this Sunday rider is doing to the poor animal when the book says he ‘pulls her to a halt’. Ouch.

And then the sexy bit starts, and my eyes basically pop out of their sockets.

Rowdy tells Jade to turn around. He nudges the horse into a walk.

Then he pulls Jade’s legs over his own.

You have to understand, at this point Jade is lying on the meadow. There is no other way. The book says they are having sexy sex after this, but no, that has to be a fever dream of Jade or something, because when you have nothing but your butt on a horse, when your thighs are on another person’s thighs, when the horse is walking and its shoulders are moving right under your butt? You’re not on that horse for longer than two seconds. Unless you’ve had a lot of vaulting experience, maybe. But like I said – this is Jade’s FIRST time on a horse.

I just really think that the author never sat on a horse, especially once I read that Jade ‘leans back and props her hands up on Eve’s broad back’. There is no more back behind Jade. Horses are not benches. You cannot sit on every part of the horse. If there are two people on the horse, one is either sitting on the croup so the person in front can sit on the back, or one person is sitting basically on the horse’s shoulders. And I cannot imagine that Rowdy is sitting on the croup, first of all because then it would be even more impossible for Jade to put her thighs on his, and second because then he wouldn’t have any control of the horse. So if Jade is sitting on Eve’s shoulders, there just is no more back behind her. There is not. She is grasping at empty air. She is lying on the ground and having a fever dream, is what I’m telling you.

I’m going to leave it at that, because that was enough ranting for anybody. Oh, just one more thing: When Rowdy has his fingers in Jade, the horse hits an incline. While Rowdy’s fingers are in Jade. Not only is it absolutely impossible that Jade is still sitting on that horse, it is also pretty unlikely that she is still up for sex after that kind of experience. But of course, since this book doesn’t know that a horse is not a moving bench, it just makes her hotter. Figures.

~*~

~*~

Now, one chapter does not a book make, and apart from this absolute abomination of a chapter, “The Big Girl’s Guide to Buying Lingerie” is really, really good. I loved the characters, I loved the plot and the tropes and the comedy, and yes, I did love the sex scenes. Apart from that one up there. Because that is a bad sex scene. Don’t write sex on horses when you do not know how horses work. Please. I beg you.


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