In the Family Way: Illegitimacy Between the Great War and the Swinging Sixties

by Jane Robinson

Only a generation or two ago, illegitimacy was one of the most shameful things that could happen in a family. In the Family Way tells secrets kept for entire long-silent voices from the workhouse, the Magdalene Laundry or the distant mother-and-baby home. Anonymous childhoods are recalled, spent in the care of Dr Barnardo or a Child Migration scheme halfway across the world. There are sorrowful stories in this book, but it is also about about supportive families who welcomed 'love-children' home, or those who were parted and are now reconciled. Most of all, In the Family Way is about finally telling the truth.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, British Literature, Biography

400 pages, Paperback

First published February 5, 2015

Reviews

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

**3.5 STARS**

An informed and well researched look at illegitimacy, at a time when humanity in its wisdom, thought it was ok to label a child a 'bastard' for having been born out of wedlock. For some unfortunates, they were stuck with that label for life, it became something by which they were defined. The book looks at what happened to some of these children and their mothers, and it doesn't make for an easy read.

It's hard to believe now, but not so many decades ago, the worst, most shameful thing that could happen in a family was for a daughter to be pregnant and unmarried. She would be looked on in the community as immoral, and would often be sent away to a home for unmarried mothers, and then forced into giving the baby up for adoption. The ramifications of these actions are related to us in interviews with both the mothers and the children themselves.

Some of the children were left in the 'care' of orphanages and other institutions, (though I use the word 'care' lightly) some with horrifying consequences. One interview cites a children's home where the kids were forced to eat potato and vegetable peelings, which caused one little girl to vomit - she was then made to eat her own vomit to illustrate the need to 'waste not, want not'!!

I've read things in this book that I wouldn't have chosen to read - things that made me upset and angry, and I was astounded at the cruelty meted out in institutions where these children should have been treated with a degree of kindness, and given the chance of a better life.

This is an important piece of social history that documents what really happened in those years between the First World War and the Sixties, and there were some really heartbreaking cases, but there was some light relief along the way, with positive outcomes for some of the more fortunate ones. A really difficult, but important read.

[Jenn Morgans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devastatingly upsetting in a lot of places, but important social history that still really isn't talked about.

[Breann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the book was really fascinating and presented a lot of historical information/stats about the social, cultural and political ramifications of illegitimacy, of which I was previously ill-informed. The personal stories were quite moving and I would have liked the author to delve into many of them in more detail. Overall, I think it is well worth the read. The only reason I gave it 3 stars (instead of 4) is that there seemed to be some redundant re-phrasing/filler between the stories that could get a bit boring after a while. I know the author probably wanted to ensure that the reader fully understood the seriousness, distress, shame, etc. felt by these women, children, organizations and/or British society in general, but doing so was unnecessary past the first chapter or two. The stories and research were able to speak for themselves.

[Darla Ebert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting to a degree. Perhaps a wake-up call hit the post-war families concerning the fate of their grandbabies, not to mention, but I will, the unfortunate mothers-to-be. Some things had to change, however immorality and promiscuity should not have been the answer, even if a catalyst. No parent should turn their child away, grown or not, married or not. It is good that an unwed mother is no longer considered a pariah. At the same time, their choices (if they/she) HAD a choice, should be celibacy.
There were a few too many statistics for my liking, however I know the statistics are a part of the story and, hopefully lesson learned.

[Sandy Roberts · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really struggled with this book. It was so fragmented and from my point of view had no structure to it. I got so far in my reading and then decided I would start from the beginning again and really concentrate. This is a subject I am interested in too. So many brief accounts touched on and names given (too numerous to remember them all). Such a shame, disappointed.

[Liz Goodacre · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating social history tracing the effect of the stigma of 'illegitimacy 'over the decades, using legal and social frameworks and most importantly, individuals' own stories and testimony. A deeply moving and important book.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully told social history full of tragic detail

[Carolyn Sharp · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting and informative read. Alot of information to take in and it really does make you think how different attitudes were in the 1900's.

[Katy Boyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

An informative and well researched look into the world of illegitimate children and their families. I took this book on holiday with me and finished it within a week - I really couldn't put it down. It was such a fascinating insight into a topic which I really knew nothing about. I can't wait to see my Grandma soon to ask her about the subject!

[Nathan Dalzell · Rating 5 out of 5]

fascinating look at Britain's view of children born out of wedlock and the effect it had on all parties involved.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A difficult read.

[Coyney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love to read something different

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, my great grandfather was born out of wedlock & I wanted to learn more about the social history. This was everything I needed and more.