What do you think?
Rate this book
Agenda
Dear Author,
For the last five years I’ve been his right hand man. I handle his schedule, I make his coffee, and I pick up his suits from the dry cleaner. I even make the arrangements for his hook ups with other men. The world sees a ruthless businessman, a cold bastard. But I know him. Behind the icy facade, I see HIM. The man who is meant to be my other half. Question is, when is he going to see ME? Not as his personal assistant, but as a lover, as a partner, as a man.
Photo Description:
In a modern office space, two young men are in the throes of a passionate kiss. One of the young men is smartly dressed and standing between the legs of the other young man, who is sitting on a table. The young man, who is sitting on the table, is naked save for the pair of briefs he is wearing, which are being pulled down.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love is an Open Road" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
For the last five years I’ve been his right hand man. I handle his schedule, I make his coffee, and I pick up his suits from the dry cleaner. I even make the arrangements for his hook ups with other men. The world sees a ruthless businessman, a cold bastard. But I know him. Behind the icy facade, I see HIM. The man who is meant to be my other half. Question is, when is he going to see ME? Not as his personal assistant, but as a lover, as a partner, as a man.
Photo Description:
In a modern office space, two young men are in the throes of a passionate kiss. One of the young men is smartly dressed and standing between the legs of the other young man, who is sitting on a table. The young man, who is sitting on the table, is naked save for the pair of briefs he is wearing, which are being pulled down.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love is an Open Road" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
61 pages, ebook
First published June 25, 2015
1 person is currently reading
39 people want to read
About the author
Alp Mortal
171 books95 followersI'm English by birth, from the Isle of Wight, living in Newport, spending part of the year in the USA, co-managing The Carter Seagrove Project LLC - an independent publishing house, incorporated in the State of Indiana.
I was 51 years old in 2016. I only started writing in 2009, proving, I suppose, that it is never too late. I didn't think about publishing until late 2012, now, nearly four years later, I'm even more energized by the process than ever before.
I'm a qualified English teacher, specializing in teaching English as a second language (TEFL), though I don't do much of that now. In the distant past, I taught software skills. In the very distant past, I was a project manager on big IT projects and at the very beginning of my career, I was an Internal Auditor. I have degrees in Internal Auditing, Computer Auditing and Project Management. I'm studying for my degree in Sustainable Development at the moment. Renewable energy is what really interests me.
I'm a member of The Society of Authors, The Society for Editors and Proofreaders and The Independent Author Network.
I have no great philosophy except "energy follows intention" and "honour your gifts". These two principles keep me sane, very happy and exceedingly busy!
I am always very happy to receive your feedback. If you wish to contact me directly, please email me at: alpmortal@hotmail.com.
Visit the website, alpmortal.weebly.com, for updates on the next gay romantic story or crime thriller that I am working on.
Together with Chambers Mars, I am half of Carter Seagrove, author of Dust Jacket and The Inspector Fenchurch Mysteries.
Alp Mortal, Chambers Mars, Shannon M. Kirkland and Morgan Starr are The Carter Seagrove Project LLC - an independent book publisher. Find us at www.carterseagrove.weebly.com, on Twitter @carterseagrove and on Facebook www.facebook.com/thecarterseagrovepro....
I was 51 years old in 2016. I only started writing in 2009, proving, I suppose, that it is never too late. I didn't think about publishing until late 2012, now, nearly four years later, I'm even more energized by the process than ever before.
I'm a qualified English teacher, specializing in teaching English as a second language (TEFL), though I don't do much of that now. In the distant past, I taught software skills. In the very distant past, I was a project manager on big IT projects and at the very beginning of my career, I was an Internal Auditor. I have degrees in Internal Auditing, Computer Auditing and Project Management. I'm studying for my degree in Sustainable Development at the moment. Renewable energy is what really interests me.
I'm a member of The Society of Authors, The Society for Editors and Proofreaders and The Independent Author Network.
I have no great philosophy except "energy follows intention" and "honour your gifts". These two principles keep me sane, very happy and exceedingly busy!
I am always very happy to receive your feedback. If you wish to contact me directly, please email me at: alpmortal@hotmail.com.
Visit the website, alpmortal.weebly.com, for updates on the next gay romantic story or crime thriller that I am working on.
Together with Chambers Mars, I am half of Carter Seagrove, author of Dust Jacket and The Inspector Fenchurch Mysteries.
Alp Mortal, Chambers Mars, Shannon M. Kirkland and Morgan Starr are The Carter Seagrove Project LLC - an independent book publisher. Find us at www.carterseagrove.weebly.com, on Twitter @carterseagrove and on Facebook www.facebook.com/thecarterseagrovepro....
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
June 25, 2015
I was looking forward to this story because I LOVE Eleftheria's prompt and have positively drooled over that sexy-as-fuck prompt image.
*growls*
Unfortunately, the prompt image (two beautiful men, one in a suit, the other almost naked, kissing) never happens. There is no unbridled passion, on a counter or otherwise (I'm pretty sure the image depicts the two men in a kitchen, perhaps after hours at the office).
Indeed, the story loses the INTENT of the prompt.
Ele wrote:
This prompt is intense and passionate: here's a man who sees beyond the cold, ruthless facade of his boss and who yearns for his boss to see him too.
I expected perhaps an older, powerful, closeted boss, lingering glances, moments of sweetness, an epiphany of sorts, explosive sex once the men finally come together, a gradual change in the boss's demeanor.
None of that happens.
Even if you follow Emma's brilliant advice and read this story as a farce, it still fails.
As other reviewers have stated, this is NOT a romance. It's an over-the-top, campy bit of buffoonery.
The first-person, present-tense POV is jarring and manic. Maris, the narrator, is silly and naive. The boss, Jonathan, has NO redeeming qualities at all. He's not a bastard; he's a socipath.
I never thought I'd say this, but there's way TOO MUCH dialogue here. First names and explanation points are overused.
No one talks like this, not even on a sitcom!!!!
Things happen abruptly, without rhyme or reason. Both MCs have sex on page with other people, but the sex between the MCs happens in two dream/fantasy sequences and very briefly at the end.
The HEA is utterly unearned. I love HEAs, but this one didn't belong and felt forced and unrealistic. Jonathan only comes round when he HAS to, and Maris is all, You fucked me over and crushed my dreams, but, hey, come on in.
Some of the situations are absurd (Maris uses weights to stretch his penis; a cat shits on the kitchen counter), and the wording is bizarrely uneven and unsexy.
Ele's fantastic prompt deserved better.
*growls*
Unfortunately, the prompt image (two beautiful men, one in a suit, the other almost naked, kissing) never happens. There is no unbridled passion, on a counter or otherwise (I'm pretty sure the image depicts the two men in a kitchen, perhaps after hours at the office).
Indeed, the story loses the INTENT of the prompt.
Ele wrote:
The world sees a ruthless businessman, a cold bastard. But I know him. Behind the icy facade, I see HIM. The man who is meant to be my other half. Question is, when is he going to see ME? Not as his personal assistant, but as a lover, as a partner, as a man.
This prompt is intense and passionate: here's a man who sees beyond the cold, ruthless facade of his boss and who yearns for his boss to see him too.
I expected perhaps an older, powerful, closeted boss, lingering glances, moments of sweetness, an epiphany of sorts, explosive sex once the men finally come together, a gradual change in the boss's demeanor.
None of that happens.
Even if you follow Emma's brilliant advice and read this story as a farce, it still fails.
As other reviewers have stated, this is NOT a romance. It's an over-the-top, campy bit of buffoonery.
The first-person, present-tense POV is jarring and manic. Maris, the narrator, is silly and naive. The boss, Jonathan, has NO redeeming qualities at all. He's not a bastard; he's a socipath.
I never thought I'd say this, but there's way TOO MUCH dialogue here. First names and explanation points are overused.
No one talks like this, not even on a sitcom!!!!
Things happen abruptly, without rhyme or reason. Both MCs have sex on page with other people, but the sex between the MCs happens in two dream/fantasy sequences and very briefly at the end.
The HEA is utterly unearned. I love HEAs, but this one didn't belong and felt forced and unrealistic. Jonathan only comes round when he HAS to, and Maris is all, You fucked me over and crushed my dreams, but, hey, come on in.
Some of the situations are absurd (Maris uses weights to stretch his penis; a cat shits on the kitchen counter), and the wording is bizarrely uneven and unsexy.
Ele's fantastic prompt deserved better.
June 25, 2015
Holy shit that was bad. Actually I don't think bad covers it that was terrible, atrocious even.
The main character Maris? Honestly.
Yes, really. I mean calling him stupid is an insult to stupid people everywhere. Just plain dense with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I don't know if he was meant to be a comic character, but I didn't find him funny. Pitiable maybe, but I really just hated him too much for that. The other characters didn't help matters either.
The plot was absurd, and flowed poorly. Just stupid. The writing style didn't work for me at all, and I often found myself questioning the author's use of words, and sentence structure. In short nothing about this worked for me. Nothing at all. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny, but if it was it missed the mark.
The main character Maris? Honestly.
Yes, really. I mean calling him stupid is an insult to stupid people everywhere. Just plain dense with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I don't know if he was meant to be a comic character, but I didn't find him funny. Pitiable maybe, but I really just hated him too much for that. The other characters didn't help matters either.
The plot was absurd, and flowed poorly. Just stupid. The writing style didn't work for me at all, and I often found myself questioning the author's use of words, and sentence structure. In short nothing about this worked for me. Nothing at all. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny, but if it was it missed the mark.
Read
June 26, 2015This is not an m/m romance (which is kind of unfortunate in an m/m writing event). Never could a text be more appropriately prologued with the phrase And Now For Something Completely Different.
Alp Mortal wrote a British farce of a very particular kind. To read please use the following process;
1/ drink half a bottle of wine
2/ pre-load with episodes of The New Statesman, Filthy Rich and Catflap, and Bottom
3/ Very important: Assess your experience so far. Do you find the writing of Ben Elton excrutiating? Do Rik Mayall's characters cause you physical pain?: If so, please skip steps 4 and 5 and go directly to 6.
4/Now cast Rik Mayall as Maris and Ade Edmonson as Jonathan.
5/Read story.
6/Drink some more.
Alp Mortal wrote a British farce of a very particular kind. To read please use the following process;
1/ drink half a bottle of wine
2/ pre-load with episodes of The New Statesman, Filthy Rich and Catflap, and Bottom
3/ Very important: Assess your experience so far. Do you find the writing of Ben Elton excrutiating? Do Rik Mayall's characters cause you physical pain?: If so, please skip steps 4 and 5 and go directly to 6.
4/Now cast Rik Mayall as Maris and Ade Edmonson as Jonathan.
5/Read story.
6/Drink some more.
June 26, 2015
Thank you Alp, for picking up my prompt to write your story. And big thanks to the Mods (and everyone else) for the amount of work they put into the event
So...this was so not what I expected while writing this prompt and it took me by surprise. Like Dani said (I know we share a brain but this time you were literally in my head...creepy), what I had envisioned was this:
"...An older, powerful, closeted boss, lingering glances, moments of sweetness, an epiphany of sorts, explosive sex once the men finally come together, a gradual change in the boss's demeanor. "
Clearly, the story didn't go in this direction. This is not always a bad thing and I feel it is important to say this. I believe that a prompt is exactly what the word says. An inspiration for the author. And because I didn't want to restrict anyone's creativity, I stated at the end of the prompt that I prefer HEA and sex on page "but the call is yours". So I don't mind at all if a story is not exactly what I expected it to be. On the contrary.
I do have a niggle though and I want to be honest. This didn't feel like romance. Yes, it was an MM story, but not MM romance. Jonathon was a douche and never stopped being one. Maris was a doormat and never stopped being one, not even in the end. There were no loving, even caring feelings between them during the story and I just didn't find a reason for these two to end up together.
I read a lot of reviews, admitidely bad, and I get why people might feel that way. Most people didn't find it funny. I did laugh sometimes and I did find some scenes funny. Maybe because I'm not familiar with British humor? Who knows.
So I take off my heart-shaped glasses and choose to read this like a simple out of the norm story, because it is obvious that the author really did make a serious effort and took into consideration my prompt.
P.S YES! They are standing in a kitchen!So what??
June 25, 2015
Thanks to the author for participating and offering this freebie. Regardless of rating that's appreciated
But I didn't I like it and didn't fully get it.
I'd go as far as to say I hated it! My reaction held several WTFs!
Not sure what genre this is but it not one for me. It's a humour (?) not everyone will get, and which left a very sour taste.
Total clash of story to reading tastes.
Complete WTFery!
But I didn't I like it and didn't fully get it.
I'd go as far as to say I hated it! My reaction held several WTFs!
Not sure what genre this is but it not one for me. It's a humour (?) not everyone will get, and which left a very sour taste.
Total clash of story to reading tastes.
Complete WTFery!
July 6, 2015
I'll review properly when it's not 3.47am...but this made me laugh hard. Given that one mc is a complete bastard, and one is a wet noodle, the fact that I really enjoyed this tells me the author has skills!
Thirty-two hours later...
Still chuckling!
This story shouldn't have worked. As I said the MC, Maris, whose POV this story is written from, is a complete doormat. I wouldn't have been surprised to look at him and see WELCOME written on his forehead. The other MC, Jonathan, is a complete and utter arse-hole. Like, seriously, the man is mean.
As the readers, we are able to see just how much Jonathan is stringing Maris along. We know from page one that the outcome is not going to be pretty, at least for a start. It is blatantly obvious. All of this should have turned me off, made me put down the book - yet I continued to read at stupid o'clock in the morning.
Why?
Because this story was hilarious. I swear I thought I was going to wake the rest of the household up as I read.
I can't help comparing Maris and Jonathan to Baldrick and Blackadder.
The relationship for most of the story was pretty much the same. Let's face it, Blackadder is a pompous arse and Baldrick is as thick as shit. Yet I still love them. There is no way I'm turning over the channel once Blackadder starts showing.
It may not be quite what the prompter was after, I'd never have seen the prompt going in this direction. I thought I'd be disappointed with not getting a hot 'n' steamy office encounter. However, I can't deny I loved Alp Mortal's interpretation of this prompt...even if it did interrupt my sleep!
Thirty-two hours later...
Still chuckling!
This story shouldn't have worked. As I said the MC, Maris, whose POV this story is written from, is a complete doormat. I wouldn't have been surprised to look at him and see WELCOME written on his forehead. The other MC, Jonathan, is a complete and utter arse-hole. Like, seriously, the man is mean.
As the readers, we are able to see just how much Jonathan is stringing Maris along. We know from page one that the outcome is not going to be pretty, at least for a start. It is blatantly obvious. All of this should have turned me off, made me put down the book - yet I continued to read at stupid o'clock in the morning.
Why?
Because this story was hilarious. I swear I thought I was going to wake the rest of the household up as I read.
I can't help comparing Maris and Jonathan to Baldrick and Blackadder.
The relationship for most of the story was pretty much the same. Let's face it, Blackadder is a pompous arse and Baldrick is as thick as shit. Yet I still love them. There is no way I'm turning over the channel once Blackadder starts showing.
It may not be quite what the prompter was after, I'd never have seen the prompt going in this direction. I thought I'd be disappointed with not getting a hot 'n' steamy office encounter. However, I can't deny I loved Alp Mortal's interpretation of this prompt...even if it did interrupt my sleep!
June 26, 2015
Excellent read for a slow day at the office. Improves the mood greatly and gives motivation to come back to your cubical once again.
October 28, 2015
This is a very British story, and you should approach it from that perspective, because it's quirky and funny, but you need to get in the zone first.
I like stories that are a little different from the norm. Here, the author makes us work to sympathise with the characters, and the ending isn't HEA in the typical sense of the two characters coming together and finding true love.
Because, frankly, that would be ludicrous.
The love interest (the main character's boss) is a typical go-getting, would-sell-his-granny type. He is pretty despicable, but if you ever watched Absolute Power (Stephen Fry) or The New Statesman (Rik Mayall) then you'll know this comedic archetype well. The best one can hope for is that they get their come-uppance, although that would leave our poor crush-inflicted MC floundering, so second-best, the love interest sees the error of his ways, and he kind of does in this story.
I enjoyed this. I know there will be readers who won't, simply because it doesn't fit a formula. That's a very good thing.
Thank you, Alp Mortal and the DRitC team for another wonderful FREE story. That alone is worth a couple of stars, I'd say.
I like stories that are a little different from the norm. Here, the author makes us work to sympathise with the characters, and the ending isn't HEA in the typical sense of the two characters coming together and finding true love.
Because, frankly, that would be ludicrous.
The love interest (the main character's boss) is a typical go-getting, would-sell-his-granny type. He is pretty despicable, but if you ever watched Absolute Power (Stephen Fry) or The New Statesman (Rik Mayall) then you'll know this comedic archetype well. The best one can hope for is that they get their come-uppance, although that would leave our poor crush-inflicted MC floundering, so second-best, the love interest sees the error of his ways, and he kind of does in this story.
I enjoyed this. I know there will be readers who won't, simply because it doesn't fit a formula. That's a very good thing.
Thank you, Alp Mortal and the DRitC team for another wonderful FREE story. That alone is worth a couple of stars, I'd say.
Read
June 25, 2015YOU CANNOT TAKE THIS BOOK SERIOUSLY
There, I said it. If you do, you'll be disappointed.
But if you go into it, knowing it's filled to the brim with rampant asshattery, idiocy, and complete absurdity, than you'll at least be entertained.
This isn't what I expected. I thought it would be an office romance, where the stern boss finally recognizes his overworked employee and they ride off into the sunset together. What we really get is The Devil Wears Prada. On steroids. With verbal diarrhea.
Maris is overworked, underpaid, completely delusional, and slow on the uptake. He's in love with his asshat of a boss, and literally does everything for him, but never gets recognized for it. Jonathan promises what Maris thinks is the moon, but when the time comes to deliver, Maris is left in a cloud of dust, disappointment, and anal bleach.
This is quirky, and in no way takes itself seriously. It definitely has it's funny moments, but there were times where the descriptions were so absurd that it was trying a little too hard. There was character growth, (that was much needed) with both MCs, especiallyMiranda Jonathan, but I still wasn't rooting for him to end up with Maris. I think there's a realistic HFN, but the prompter requested a HEA.
This story won't be for everyone.
I'm going to leave this one unrated. While I can appreciate it for the farce that it is, if it were my prompt, and I had asked for a romance where an employer sweeps his unappreciated employee off their feet, I'd be very disappointed. This story went a much different way than what the prompter had intended, but there's no doubt that the author didn't put effort into entertaining the reader.
Thanks to the author for their participation and effort in the Love is an Open Road event.
There, I said it. If you do, you'll be disappointed.
But if you go into it, knowing it's filled to the brim with rampant asshattery, idiocy, and complete absurdity, than you'll at least be entertained.
This isn't what I expected. I thought it would be an office romance, where the stern boss finally recognizes his overworked employee and they ride off into the sunset together. What we really get is The Devil Wears Prada. On steroids. With verbal diarrhea.
Maris is overworked, underpaid, completely delusional, and slow on the uptake. He's in love with his asshat of a boss, and literally does everything for him, but never gets recognized for it. Jonathan promises what Maris thinks is the moon, but when the time comes to deliver, Maris is left in a cloud of dust, disappointment, and anal bleach.
This is quirky, and in no way takes itself seriously. It definitely has it's funny moments, but there were times where the descriptions were so absurd that it was trying a little too hard. There was character growth, (that was much needed) with both MCs, especially
This story won't be for everyone.
I'm going to leave this one unrated. While I can appreciate it for the farce that it is, if it were my prompt, and I had asked for a romance where an employer sweeps his unappreciated employee off their feet, I'd be very disappointed. This story went a much different way than what the prompter had intended, but there's no doubt that the author didn't put effort into entertaining the reader.
Thanks to the author for their participation and effort in the Love is an Open Road event.
June 25, 2015
What the heck did I just read? This was one odd story, with a barely a plot, a TSTL MC and a writing style that left me out of breath like I just ran a marathon just from reading it.
This was a free story from the M/M Romance group's Love Is An Open Road event, and therefore automatically gets one star for the time spent freely to write it, but man - what was this?
The main character, Maris, is a PA for a complete asshole but fancies himself in love with said asshole, changes his whole exterior for said asshole, and is basically a complete doormat for said asshole. Until asshole leaves for greener pastures, and Maris is forced to reevaluate his life.
And then, to add insult to injury, asshole comes back with his tail between his legs, and Maris feels sorry for him? WTF?
The writing was ... not good. The story was ... not good.
Thanks to the author for participating in the event.
ETA: Adding my comment from another review thread... "I think as a British farce, this story would be fine. However, it was written for an M/M Romance event, which is rather unfortunate. "
This was a free story from the M/M Romance group's Love Is An Open Road event, and therefore automatically gets one star for the time spent freely to write it, but man - what was this?
The main character, Maris, is a PA for a complete asshole but fancies himself in love with said asshole, changes his whole exterior for said asshole, and is basically a complete doormat for said asshole. Until asshole leaves for greener pastures, and Maris is forced to reevaluate his life.
And then, to add insult to injury, asshole comes back with his tail between his legs, and Maris feels sorry for him? WTF?
The writing was ... not good. The story was ... not good.
Thanks to the author for participating in the event.
ETA: Adding my comment from another review thread... "I think as a British farce, this story would be fine. However, it was written for an M/M Romance event, which is rather unfortunate. "
Read
June 25, 2015There were quite a few "fucks" too many, and I dislike unlikeable MCs. They are not... likeable.
June 25, 2015
This did NOT go AT ALL like expected, but I loved it! It was a funny (in a spoofy way), compulsive read. I loved Maris -- pretty freaking adorable, although somewhat clueless. The ending was perfect too, though not so much in a romancey way.
And lastly, I can't not mention the lovely prompt photo!
And lastly, I can't not mention the lovely prompt photo!
October 8, 2015
(Edited and expanded to do some venting)
Debbie put it well in her review, where she says not a lot of people will like it because it doesn't fit a formula. I guess I'm one of those people.
The plot kind of makes sense. With the way Jonathan is portrayed (he's a first-class Douche, I seriously wanted to punch him), it would have been dumb for him to fall for Maris like how I wanted him to. And I also liked how Maris grew out of his obsession for Jonathan and became his own character in the end. Though I didn't really like Maris either. He just... was frustrating.
This is why this has the tag: Rampant Asshattery.
Redeeming points: I loved Janey and John (Honestly, they are the best part of this book).
I also liked the Britishness, and the humour. There were some funny bits that were intentionally funny (at least, I hope they were), and there were the bits that were unintentionally funny (I did feel guilty that I laughed, especially where the euphemisms were concerned, but god, I couldn't help myself.) Or were they intentional too? I mean:
Maris grows a backbone in the end. Jonathon got what he deserved. (though I couldn't believe he actually had the nerve to come back. Again: Rampant asshattery)
With all this said,
WHERE IS MY ROMANCE? Where's the desk sex? Damnit. I had great expectations for this! Suits and a boss-subordinate relationship? God! So many possibilities!
So I guess, three stars for the humor, (Because let's admit it, it was pretty laugh out loud funny) (especially the unintentionally funny bits, heh) and also for Maris growing up and Jonathan learning from his mistakes (still hate him though). It kept me entertained.
Debbie put it well in her review, where she says not a lot of people will like it because it doesn't fit a formula. I guess I'm one of those people.
The plot kind of makes sense. With the way Jonathan is portrayed (he's a first-class Douche, I seriously wanted to punch him), it would have been dumb for him to fall for Maris like how I wanted him to. And I also liked how Maris grew out of his obsession for Jonathan and became his own character in the end. Though I didn't really like Maris either. He just... was frustrating.
This is why this has the tag: Rampant Asshattery.
Redeeming points: I loved Janey and John (Honestly, they are the best part of this book).
I also liked the Britishness, and the humour. There were some funny bits that were intentionally funny (at least, I hope they were), and there were the bits that were unintentionally funny (I did feel guilty that I laughed, especially where the euphemisms were concerned, but god, I couldn't help myself.) Or were they intentional too? I mean:
Maris grows a backbone in the end. Jonathon got what he deserved. (though I couldn't believe he actually had the nerve to come back. Again: Rampant asshattery)
With all this said,
WHERE IS MY ROMANCE? Where's the desk sex? Damnit. I had great expectations for this! Suits and a boss-subordinate relationship? God! So many possibilities!
So I guess, three stars for the humor, (Because let's admit it, it was pretty laugh out loud funny) (especially the unintentionally funny bits, heh) and also for Maris growing up and Jonathan learning from his mistakes (still hate him though). It kept me entertained.
December 15, 2015
I'm going to use a lot of gifs because the story fried my brain
Maris is a
and the "love" interest is
Storytelling is bad
and as for humour, I didn't get it.
Perhaps, reading a story just for a laugh to someone would seem wrong and unacceptable however I don't think it's worse than watching the worst of X-Factor auditions or something similar.
So there!
Maris is a
and the "love" interest is
Storytelling is bad
and as for humour, I didn't get it.
Perhaps, reading a story just for a laugh to someone would seem wrong and unacceptable however I don't think it's worse than watching the worst of X-Factor auditions or something similar.
So there!
June 25, 2015
Snorted with laughter while reading this! Some PERFECT moments! Very enjoyable and definitely one to re-read. :) A bit too much unattributed dialogue in places which made me pause in reading so only 4 stars, but this is a definite 'keeper' of a story
June 25, 2015
Not even going to check off my office-romance shelf. This story is not.
Maris is Jonathan’s personal PA.(Jonathan is a Douche-- yes, with a capital D) He has worked for him five years. He is obsessed with him. He ‘loves’ him. He bends over backwards for this man. Jonathan is an asshole. Everyone at works sees this, but not Maris. He is blinded by love.
Then there is a party and Maris witnesses Jonathan with another. Maris’ idea. Not heartbroken. Nope. Obviously he needs to change for Jonathan to make him want him more. Maris is so ‘blinded’ by him that he passes up a chance with a great guy named John, who likes Maris for Maris. Then the big promotion happens.
It doesn’t go as Maris plans. He finally sees the ‘truth’ and is broken over it. The end is supposed to be a HFN. I don’t see this. At. All. I frankly don’t care. He deserves better than Jonathan.
With that said, there were parts of the story that made me laugh. If I wasn't reading it(with the hopes of a romance) I'd probably would have liked it more.
Maris is Jonathan’s personal PA.(Jonathan is a Douche-- yes, with a capital D) He has worked for him five years. He is obsessed with him. He ‘loves’ him. He bends over backwards for this man. Jonathan is an asshole. Everyone at works sees this, but not Maris. He is blinded by love.
Then there is a party and Maris witnesses Jonathan with another. Maris’ idea. Not heartbroken. Nope. Obviously he needs to change for Jonathan to make him want him more. Maris is so ‘blinded’ by him that he passes up a chance with a great guy named John, who likes Maris for Maris. Then the big promotion happens.
It doesn’t go as Maris plans. He finally sees the ‘truth’ and is broken over it. The end is supposed to be a HFN. I don’t see this. At. All. I frankly don’t care. He deserves better than Jonathan.
With that said, there were parts of the story that made me laugh. If I wasn't reading it(with the hopes of a romance) I'd probably would have liked it more.
June 27, 2015
What is romance?
I conducted a survey about this last night in the pub. Here are some of the responses I could repeat:
- Romance is the gentle getting to know - the falling in love - the fluctuation in heart rate - the careful undressing ...
- Romance is a quick shag round the back of the chippie
- Romance? Is it the name of a perfume?
This story is funny, no doubt. Is it romantic? I suppose that depends on the reader. All I could really think about was how much this story reminds me of this song.
Thank you Alp Mortal for brightening my day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9RUo...
Read
August 21, 2015I admit the tags "British" and "humour" dragged me right in. Alas, this time those two didn't work for me.
Read
June 25, 2015????? What the heck? This was like a cheap dime store novel on crack. Maris was delusional at best. Jonathan was a self centered prick. The worst was the wording. I think it was supposed to be humorous but it was cheesy, flowering and over-the-top.
June 26, 2015
Oh my god. It was so bad. So so so so so so bad. It was such a great prompt and I was so excited, and I feel absolutely terrible that I'm going to be so blunt in this review, but I need to be honest. The story was written for a great cause and I wanted so badly to like it, and it's great that the author took the time to write for something so meaningful, but this was just so unbelievably horrific.
First off, the main character is a freaking psycho. Like seriously, delusional, psychotic, and stalkerish. He creeped me out.
Secondly, the boss is a jackass. There is absolutely nothing redeemable about him and no reason for the mc to be in love with him.
Third, even the writing was terrible. Sometimes if plot is crappy, but the writing is done well, I'll rate a book a little higher, but there is no way that's happening in this case. It was so choppy and awkward and confusing. And there were so many bad euphemisms and terrible puns. The whole thing was just awful.
Even the ending sucked. There was absolutely no good reason for
I'm sorry I couldn't rein in my rant more because I'm so grateful for the Don't Read in the Closet events, but I just couldn't deal with this story.
First off, the main character is a freaking psycho. Like seriously, delusional, psychotic, and stalkerish. He creeped me out.
Secondly, the boss is a jackass. There is absolutely nothing redeemable about him and no reason for the mc to be in love with him.
Third, even the writing was terrible. Sometimes if plot is crappy, but the writing is done well, I'll rate a book a little higher, but there is no way that's happening in this case. It was so choppy and awkward and confusing. And there were so many bad euphemisms and terrible puns. The whole thing was just awful.
Even the ending sucked. There was absolutely no good reason for
I'm sorry I couldn't rein in my rant more because I'm so grateful for the Don't Read in the Closet events, but I just couldn't deal with this story.
Read
June 25, 2015Contemporary, first person present tense narrated, British based story
Marais is an overworked, highly strug PA in a financial company, and has a major crush on his boss, in fact he'll do anything for him for even a word of praise. His boss basically treats him like dirt, though at the same time promising that he can't do without him. This story takes them through the final days of their boss/employee relationship and when Marais takes steps to make himself irresistable to Jonathan (a) it all goes wrong and (b)it makes no odds because he looses his job. Marais has a brief fling with someone else (they atually get together whilst he still lusts after his boss), sets up his own business with his friend and former colleague Janey and gets his life back on track before Jonathan returns and they end up with a HFN.
There is some humour in this, but the whole thing was just a little over the top for me.
Marais is an overworked, highly strug PA in a financial company, and has a major crush on his boss, in fact he'll do anything for him for even a word of praise. His boss basically treats him like dirt, though at the same time promising that he can't do without him. This story takes them through the final days of their boss/employee relationship and when Marais takes steps to make himself irresistable to Jonathan (a) it all goes wrong and (b)it makes no odds because he looses his job. Marais has a brief fling with someone else (they atually get together whilst he still lusts after his boss), sets up his own business with his friend and former colleague Janey and gets his life back on track before Jonathan returns and they end up with a HFN.
There is some humour in this, but the whole thing was just a little over the top for me.
June 27, 2015
This story is like Marmite - or, as my mother would say - an acquired taste. It's intentionally absurdist and over the top. Not everyone will enjoy or get it, but, for the homesick British soul in me, it was a taste of a comedy I rarely encounter in my present life. I could only laugh at Maris's ridiculous crush and the lengths at which he was willing to go for such a detestable character as Jonathan. And the ending, well - comeuppance has never been so richly deserved!
I think if you're curious about this story, you should try it to see if it's your cup of tea. Whether this story is a one-star or something much more will all depend on your sense of humor, which is as much down to the individual as one's taste in music or food.
I think if you're curious about this story, you should try it to see if it's your cup of tea. Whether this story is a one-star or something much more will all depend on your sense of humor, which is as much down to the individual as one's taste in music or food.
December 7, 2017
“I was an egotistical, self-centered, arrogant, uncaring, ignorant and loathsome prick.”(Jonathan, his own words)
I couldn't agree more with him. And I still didn't understand why did Maris adore him like he's a god, and happily became his doormat, until at the end of the book. SMH.
Jonathan was an obvious prick, he's not redeemable, and I feel sorry for Maris. He's pathetic, desperate, and an idiot.
Jonathan was a real slut and I can't see he's going to change in the future. Came to Maris because he lost his job, can't function without Maris, showed that he can't work. I wonder what did the BOD saw in him in a first place? LOL.
I was expecting a good story reading the prompt. Alas, the execution failed.
I couldn't agree more with him. And I still didn't understand why did Maris adore him like he's a god, and happily became his doormat, until at the end of the book. SMH.
Jonathan was an obvious prick, he's not redeemable, and I feel sorry for Maris. He's pathetic, desperate, and an idiot.
Jonathan was a real slut and I can't see he's going to change in the future. Came to Maris because he lost his job, can't function without Maris, showed that he can't work. I wonder what did the BOD saw in him in a first place? LOL.
I was expecting a good story reading the prompt. Alas, the execution failed.
January 2, 2016
Usually I just dnf any DRitC story if I'm not liking it and don't shelve it, but this time for some reason I just couldn't stop.
Such great picture and prompt, and the final story is... well, to put it bluntly, it sucked. I'm sorry, dear author, I know you invested your time and effort into this, but it's not an excuse to deliver poorly written (what's with all the dialog?), half-assed work.
All of you probably felt like that at one point or another in school: somebody insults or offends you but, unable to answer them right away, you just spend hours or days imagining some, frankly, ridiculous scenarios of you getting your sweet revenge instead. The ending of this book felt just like an embodiment of that feeling, a wish-fulfillment, complete with utter ridiculousness.
This is also a great collection of bad sex-related euphemisms that make you cringe. I think "my rose bowl is ripe for an exploration" (meaning: his ass is ready for rimming) was the worst for me.
I can't see this story as humor, it just comes across as really childish, especially when you make your main character act and think like a clueless child without any reason for it, make your other main character turn from over-the-top self-centered jerk to sniveling loser crawling back to beg for forgiveness (see: those dreams of sweet revenge) and barely write any narrative.
Such great picture and prompt, and the final story is... well, to put it bluntly, it sucked. I'm sorry, dear author, I know you invested your time and effort into this, but it's not an excuse to deliver poorly written (what's with all the dialog?), half-assed work.
All of you probably felt like that at one point or another in school: somebody insults or offends you but, unable to answer them right away, you just spend hours or days imagining some, frankly, ridiculous scenarios of you getting your sweet revenge instead. The ending of this book felt just like an embodiment of that feeling, a wish-fulfillment, complete with utter ridiculousness.
This is also a great collection of bad sex-related euphemisms that make you cringe. I think "my rose bowl is ripe for an exploration" (meaning: his ass is ready for rimming) was the worst for me.
I can't see this story as humor, it just comes across as really childish, especially when you make your main character act and think like a clueless child without any reason for it, make your other main character turn from over-the-top self-centered jerk to sniveling loser crawling back to beg for forgiveness (see: those dreams of sweet revenge) and barely write any narrative.
June 14, 2018
My God, this was trash.
September 19, 2015
I have given all the free passes I am going to give today. I hated this story. I did not find it funny. Maybe, had someone told me before I read it that it was the equivalent of one of those epically stupid "guy" movies, full of nasty characters, lame/stupid/disgusting/humiliating/totally unfunny jokes, with no redeeming points what-so-ever, just maybe I would have saved myself the trauma of reading this.
And make no mistake, I read the whole bleeping thing. It was like, like, like...my brain was hijacked and I was forced to read even though it was obvious from the beginning that it was the most hideous thing I had ever read, ever, I mean, EVER...maybe it wasn't but it was so bad that it knocked all other contenders out of the ring.
But I guess that says something for the writing. I hated it, yet was compelled to read it to the very end.
I absolutely understand that I am not the audience for this story (if only I had known that going in). My ratings reflect my enjoyment of a story and not the quality of the story - though quality can affect my enjoyment, it doesn't always. My point being, I'm sure this was absolutely brilliant, just not for me.
And make no mistake, I read the whole bleeping thing. It was like, like, like...my brain was hijacked and I was forced to read even though it was obvious from the beginning that it was the most hideous thing I had ever read, ever, I mean, EVER...maybe it wasn't but it was so bad that it knocked all other contenders out of the ring.
But I guess that says something for the writing. I hated it, yet was compelled to read it to the very end.
I absolutely understand that I am not the audience for this story (if only I had known that going in). My ratings reflect my enjoyment of a story and not the quality of the story - though quality can affect my enjoyment, it doesn't always. My point being, I'm sure this was absolutely brilliant, just not for me.
October 8, 2015
Oh my.
I read this when I was waiting for my doctor's appointment. My Kindle tends to do whatever the heck it wants, and it started at the beginning of the story. So I never read the prompt. And I felt it was a 3 star because it was so over the top that I laughed a lot.
Now, I come to rate it and see outrage all over the place, and with reason.
I can't write angst; I can't read angst; it's not my thing. Nevertheless, if a prompter is asking for it, you need to be able to deliver it if you take the prompt. Period. Unless you have a conversation with the prompter regarding such a 180 in the direction of the request, this is not a thing that is supposed to happen.
This might have been a fun story if it just came out of nowhere. That was not the case.
There were expectations and they were not met.
This is why it ended up with 2 stars.
I read this when I was waiting for my doctor's appointment. My Kindle tends to do whatever the heck it wants, and it started at the beginning of the story. So I never read the prompt. And I felt it was a 3 star because it was so over the top that I laughed a lot.
Now, I come to rate it and see outrage all over the place, and with reason.
I can't write angst; I can't read angst; it's not my thing. Nevertheless, if a prompter is asking for it, you need to be able to deliver it if you take the prompt. Period. Unless you have a conversation with the prompter regarding such a 180 in the direction of the request, this is not a thing that is supposed to happen.
This might have been a fun story if it just came out of nowhere. That was not the case.
There were expectations and they were not met.
This is why it ended up with 2 stars.
July 19, 2015
Ugh. Maris is ridiculous and naive (who TALKS like that?) and completely out of touch with reality. Jonathon is an unlikable douche who does not redeem himself in any way. They get together at the end because Jonathon hits rock bottom and has nowhere else to go. HEA? Not in my world. Dreadful writing - gives purple prose new meaning. Disappointing.
August 1, 2015
The author nailed this story in two-words....I quote " rampant asshattery".....and not in a good way......
Was the prompt lost in translation?? Am I wearing the wrong glasses so I can't see the same picture??? WTF did I just read??? I'm a Brit and I think my funny bone went on strike because I did not find this humorous at all......it was an uncomfortable and disappointing read.
Was the prompt lost in translation?? Am I wearing the wrong glasses so I can't see the same picture??? WTF did I just read??? I'm a Brit and I think my funny bone went on strike because I did not find this humorous at all......it was an uncomfortable and disappointing read.
did-not-finish
January 7, 2016I quit after the third chapter where I felt I'd had enough. This prompt had so much potential in the emotion-department but there is nothing even close to emotions. I get the feeling the story was supposed to be funny or something but I only felt embarrassed.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews