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Rock-Solid Relationships: Strengthening Personal Relationships With Wisdom from the Scriptures
Hsrd Bound book
170 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 2003
49 people are currently reading
406 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 79 reviews
November 3, 2018
Dr. Wendy Watson Nelson is one of my biggest idols. She is so impressive, and I appreciate all that I’ve learned from her work and her life.
I like reading books about relationships and psychology, and this book has been the most applicable relationship book I’ve ever read. It combines Christian scripture, therapy, examples, and application. One of my favorite reads EVER.
I like reading books about relationships and psychology, and this book has been the most applicable relationship book I’ve ever read. It combines Christian scripture, therapy, examples, and application. One of my favorite reads EVER.
February 28, 2023
This was one of the best books I've ever read. There is nothing more important than loving relationships. This book has so many bits of wisdom and things that have already started to help heal relationships in my life.
August 6, 2019
I read the paperback edition of this book which was printed after Wendy Watson married President Russell M. Nelson. I tried to add the edition I read to the database, but the ISBN number was already listed under another edition. I doubt it matters. I don't think the book changed after she married.
My mom liked this book so much that she bought copies for herself and each of her nine children. I have no doubt she would give it five stars. I heard that this book was part of what caught President Nelson's interest in the author. I approached reading this book like I would when going to a highly recommended movie. I had very high expectations. I'm a little disappointed.
My expectations weren't just high, they were also a little wrong. For some reason I thought this book would be focused on the marriage relationship. Also, because of the title and some of the introduction, I thought it would utilize grace and the personal example of Jesus Christ. It is generally based on His gospel, but sometimes it's not obvious. His name is rarely if ever mentioned in the middle chapters of the book. Each chapter focuses on a specific scripture or a convenient part of a scripture, some of which seem a bit of a stretch. Also, sometimes the use and interpretation of the scriptures are more to support the authors opinions and clinical experiences than what the scriptures is saying in context. Marriage relationships are certainly part of the book (maybe a third to half), but so are most other types of relationships. I was less interested in seeing what she had to say about other types of relationships.
I have mixed feelings about some of her chapters. She suggests a few strange ways to influence others to change, but most of what she says is focused on what the reader needs to do to change. I don't know that I agree with all of it. Some of her ideas feel a little too idealistic and unrealistic. I would have liked to read more about patience, long suffering, and other aspects of real Christlike charity. It just feels like there is too much that could have been said that wasn't. I know she has a doctorate. I know that she worked professionally to help people with their relationships for many years. I just sense a lack of personal experience and authenticity in her words.
I wonder what she would change if she were to write the book again.
Maybe what I'd really like is the book I was expecting: more focused on following the example of the Savior and applying His specific words, experiences, and teachings to a marriage relationship.
If I separate my expectations and desires from what's actually here I see that the author is very good at leading people to the important skill of applying scripture to personal thoughts, experiences, and needs. The author's book Change Your Questions Change Your Life does this much more effectively.
A couple of times she references her book Purity and Passion which I now have on hold with my library. I noticed it was also published before she was married. I will go into reading that one with skepticism and lower expectations.
My mom liked this book so much that she bought copies for herself and each of her nine children. I have no doubt she would give it five stars. I heard that this book was part of what caught President Nelson's interest in the author. I approached reading this book like I would when going to a highly recommended movie. I had very high expectations. I'm a little disappointed.
My expectations weren't just high, they were also a little wrong. For some reason I thought this book would be focused on the marriage relationship. Also, because of the title and some of the introduction, I thought it would utilize grace and the personal example of Jesus Christ. It is generally based on His gospel, but sometimes it's not obvious. His name is rarely if ever mentioned in the middle chapters of the book. Each chapter focuses on a specific scripture or a convenient part of a scripture, some of which seem a bit of a stretch. Also, sometimes the use and interpretation of the scriptures are more to support the authors opinions and clinical experiences than what the scriptures is saying in context. Marriage relationships are certainly part of the book (maybe a third to half), but so are most other types of relationships. I was less interested in seeing what she had to say about other types of relationships.
I have mixed feelings about some of her chapters. She suggests a few strange ways to influence others to change, but most of what she says is focused on what the reader needs to do to change. I don't know that I agree with all of it. Some of her ideas feel a little too idealistic and unrealistic. I would have liked to read more about patience, long suffering, and other aspects of real Christlike charity. It just feels like there is too much that could have been said that wasn't. I know she has a doctorate. I know that she worked professionally to help people with their relationships for many years. I just sense a lack of personal experience and authenticity in her words.
I wonder what she would change if she were to write the book again.
Maybe what I'd really like is the book I was expecting: more focused on following the example of the Savior and applying His specific words, experiences, and teachings to a marriage relationship.
If I separate my expectations and desires from what's actually here I see that the author is very good at leading people to the important skill of applying scripture to personal thoughts, experiences, and needs. The author's book Change Your Questions Change Your Life does this much more effectively.
A couple of times she references her book Purity and Passion which I now have on hold with my library. I noticed it was also published before she was married. I will go into reading that one with skepticism and lower expectations.
January 23, 2023
This was the best relationship book I’ve ever read! What made the book so good is that each relationship enhancing skill was rooted in the doctrines of the gospel. The best way for relationships to change is through help from the Holy Ghost through prayer and personal revelation. I loved how the author had specific things to work on to improve your relationships in each chapter.
December 31, 2023
The way Sister Nelson applies the scriptures into practical ways to improve our relationships is amazing!
June 6, 2020
Great information about scripture study and as we immerse ourselves in the scriptures our relationships with others will be strengthened.
December 10, 2020
Loved this book! It’s definitely one of those ones you want to read again and again!
October 30, 2025
Rock Solid Relationships is a rock solid book that teaches that the answers to human relations are in the scriptures, and gives several examples of little things in the scriptures that when pondered, reveal a lot of information.
Table of Contents
Introduction
1. Do One Small Thing “Out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”
2. Give the Love You Want to Receive “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even so to them. “
3. Watch Your Thoughts about Others “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. “
4. Burry Your Weapons of War “They buried their weapons … of war, for peace. “
5. There’s More to Giving Than Meets the Eye “She … cast in all that she had. “
6. Don't Discount Your Perceptions “As for myself, to me he doth not stink. “
7. Don’t Look Back at the Sordid Past “Escape for they life; look not behind thee. “
8. Remember, the Children are Watching “And after this manner of language had my mother complained against my father. “
9. Consider What Others Can See “What beholdest thou? “
10. Imagine Hearing Healing Words “I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed. “
11. Help Others to Love One Another “And he [Elijah] shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers. “
12. Let Your Light Shine on Those You Love “I give unto you to be the light of this people. “
13. Have Heart-to-Heart conversations “What desirest thou? “
14. Don’t Settle for Less “They shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received. “
15. The Search That Never Ends “He that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost …; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round. “
The first time I read this book was September 2010, I read it again finishing in September 2015. I decided to read it again after reading an earlier book by Wendy L. Watson, Purity and Passion.
Table of Contents
Introduction
1. Do One Small Thing “Out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”
2. Give the Love You Want to Receive “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even so to them. “
3. Watch Your Thoughts about Others “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. “
4. Burry Your Weapons of War “They buried their weapons … of war, for peace. “
5. There’s More to Giving Than Meets the Eye “She … cast in all that she had. “
6. Don't Discount Your Perceptions “As for myself, to me he doth not stink. “
7. Don’t Look Back at the Sordid Past “Escape for they life; look not behind thee. “
8. Remember, the Children are Watching “And after this manner of language had my mother complained against my father. “
9. Consider What Others Can See “What beholdest thou? “
10. Imagine Hearing Healing Words “I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed. “
11. Help Others to Love One Another “And he [Elijah] shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers. “
12. Let Your Light Shine on Those You Love “I give unto you to be the light of this people. “
13. Have Heart-to-Heart conversations “What desirest thou? “
14. Don’t Settle for Less “They shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received. “
15. The Search That Never Ends “He that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost …; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round. “
The first time I read this book was September 2010, I read it again finishing in September 2015. I decided to read it again after reading an earlier book by Wendy L. Watson, Purity and Passion.
August 23, 2021
Great insights into building a healthy marriage (and all relationships!)
Favorite quotes-
"In a world filled with so much uncertainty, terror and tragedy we need:
- places of security
- commitments we can bank on
- people we can trust
- love we can rely on"
- Rock solid relationships have Jesus Christ as their foundation. His power, light, love, truth, and spirit are their bedrock. Relationships built on these cannot fall. (p. 13)
- The words of Christ will tell you ALL things what ye should do (2 Nep 32:3)
- The scriptures contain answers to how to build and strengthen any relationship, p.16
- Principles in 3 Nephi to help relationships- 1) a small voice penetrates positively, 2) repetition registers truth, 3) commendations are crucial, 4) believing and receiving love is beneficial, and 5) pure touch testifies of love, pg. 16
- several verses in Hebrews 13 (1-6, 16) contain magnificent counsel for marriage partners
- When we don't know the next step to take, when we can't see any light at the end of our relationship tunnel, the scriptures-the word of God- are the "iron rod" that we can count on and hold onto. The wisdom contained in the scriptures will guide us over the mountains of misunderstandings, through the dark nights of betrayal, and around the mine fields of destructive traditions and legacies of lethal thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, pg. 17-18
- wisdom: take time to notice people's reactions to what you have said
- wisdom: keep confidences
- wisdom: be willing to take the first step (be willing to love first)
- wisdom: be tenaciously loving (our actions, our compassion, our love can be independent of how another behaves or treats us)
- wisdom: put jealousies and fears away and increase humility
- wisdom: see Alma's self-assessment questionaire, and learn the art of asking questions (p. 27-29)
- a small adjustment in the way we think about something can often bring great changes in our feelings and behavior (p.35)
- principle: Doing everything for someone else will only teach them to be helpless (p. 40)
- A large part of solving any problem is being able to identify it. A problem without a definition is a problem without a solution. p. 46
- Also...the solution to the problem can become a problem (so be careful!) If something isn't working, a change is needed. If you want something to be different, try something different. p. 48
- Give the love you want to receive, p.51
- speak the words you most want to hear. Reach out for the hand that you wish would reach out for yours. p. 60
- Give with no strings attached p. 61
- We become our thoughts p.64 (our thoughts about others, influence them too!)
- Think positive thoughts about the person you want to improve your relationship with, while in the same room with them. Think positive things about them over and over..and see what happens p.76-77, (ex. I love you, I love being with you, You are a remarkable person, I am so blessed and fortunate to have you in my life, I believe you have a wonderful mission to perform)
- Bury your weapons of war, ie. negative thoughts about others, harsh judgements, jealousies, sarcasm...that keeps us feeling separate, isolated and lonely (p. 80)
- Rid yourself of anything that may wound the other person, p.81
- It is folly to judge a person's contribution by only looking at what they give (i.e. the widow's mite) p.104
- Imagine what could happen if each sibling viewed the family as a pool of resources to which they could contribute and draw from. p. 111
- Be loyal to your true feelings p.141
- If something doesn't seem right, find the source p. 145
- If you want to move forward, look forward. The direction we are looking determines where we are headed p. 147
- What changes would you make in your behavior if the Lord were to give you a fresh start and instruct you never to look back? p. 158
- If you woke up tomorrow with amnesia and couldn't remember any of the horrible things your spouse had done in the past...how might that change your behavior and feelings? p. 159
- Think about a formerly troublesome period in your life and write it in a way you believe it is now written, or can be written because of your co-author, the Savior. p. 160
- Ask yourself, does this activity/thought/feeling help me focus on moving forward toward a new future, or does this, in any way, invite me to return to my previous dark ways? p. 164
- Remember the children are watching. Children notice how their parents treat each other and how their parents are feeling. It's almost impossible for parents to hide their actions and emotions (p.168-169)
- How would your children answer the following questions- What do your mom and dad enjoy doing together? What makes each of your parents happy? sad? What does each of your parents believe is the most important thing in life? What does your mom need from your dad and your dad need from your mom these days? If you could change anything in the way your parents treat each other, what would it be? p. 181-182
- What we are able to see is influenced by our spiritual, physical, emotional, mental and social growth and development p. 186
- A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still, p. 192
- There is power in imagining. When you imagine something, your cells and your spirit respond to it as though it has actually happened. p. 208
- Sometimes words spoken by someone we hardly know, can have a powerful effect. Words can change not only our thoughts and feelings- they can change our behavior. Try imagining certain words being spoken to you... p. 210
- Unhealthy eating can be an unconscious attempt to soothe painful feelings p. 216
- What do you long to hear from the Lord that would cause many of the problems in your life and relationships to simply fall away? p. 221
- Are you selfless enough to be more concerned about turning hearts to others, rather than to yourself? p. 229
- There is a difference between a messenger and a meddler (p. 235)
- What a privilege it is to be a messenger of love and a healer of hearts. There is no greater or more sacred trust p. 240
- The more light in our lives, the more love we feel, the more truth we are drawn to, the more power we receive, and the more often we experience the promptings of the Spirit p. 241
- If someone has been in great darkness, it may be too uncomfortable to suddenly expose him or her to full and direct light. Pray for wisdom to proceed at the appropriate speed (p. 259)
- Desires can change because circumstances change p. 263
- Every day we should be mindful of two things- 1) to speak the desires of our heart in a way the other can hear, and 2) to think about and listen to the desires of the other person's heart p. 271
- Are you settling for a less-than-marvelous marriage because you are not willing to invest the time and make the effort it will take to build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your spouse? p. 281
- Don't settle for less!
- When we live beneath ourselves, we think, feel, and behave in ways that betray our true selves p. 288
- Purity and passion go together. Purity enhances passion. p. 290
- Passion that has been purified by the Spirit (pure passion) is always greater than impure passion. Why? Because the Holy Ghost will "increase, enlarge, expand, and purify all the natural passions and affections". p. 290-291
- Pure passion enhances and is foundational to true marital intimacy. True marital intimacy is to be a soulful experience- uniting not only the bodies but the spirits of each spouse. p. 291
-
Favorite quotes-
"In a world filled with so much uncertainty, terror and tragedy we need:
- places of security
- commitments we can bank on
- people we can trust
- love we can rely on"
- Rock solid relationships have Jesus Christ as their foundation. His power, light, love, truth, and spirit are their bedrock. Relationships built on these cannot fall. (p. 13)
- The words of Christ will tell you ALL things what ye should do (2 Nep 32:3)
- The scriptures contain answers to how to build and strengthen any relationship, p.16
- Principles in 3 Nephi to help relationships- 1) a small voice penetrates positively, 2) repetition registers truth, 3) commendations are crucial, 4) believing and receiving love is beneficial, and 5) pure touch testifies of love, pg. 16
- several verses in Hebrews 13 (1-6, 16) contain magnificent counsel for marriage partners
- When we don't know the next step to take, when we can't see any light at the end of our relationship tunnel, the scriptures-the word of God- are the "iron rod" that we can count on and hold onto. The wisdom contained in the scriptures will guide us over the mountains of misunderstandings, through the dark nights of betrayal, and around the mine fields of destructive traditions and legacies of lethal thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, pg. 17-18
- wisdom: take time to notice people's reactions to what you have said
- wisdom: keep confidences
- wisdom: be willing to take the first step (be willing to love first)
- wisdom: be tenaciously loving (our actions, our compassion, our love can be independent of how another behaves or treats us)
- wisdom: put jealousies and fears away and increase humility
- wisdom: see Alma's self-assessment questionaire, and learn the art of asking questions (p. 27-29)
- a small adjustment in the way we think about something can often bring great changes in our feelings and behavior (p.35)
- principle: Doing everything for someone else will only teach them to be helpless (p. 40)
- A large part of solving any problem is being able to identify it. A problem without a definition is a problem without a solution. p. 46
- Also...the solution to the problem can become a problem (so be careful!) If something isn't working, a change is needed. If you want something to be different, try something different. p. 48
- Give the love you want to receive, p.51
- speak the words you most want to hear. Reach out for the hand that you wish would reach out for yours. p. 60
- Give with no strings attached p. 61
- We become our thoughts p.64 (our thoughts about others, influence them too!)
- Think positive thoughts about the person you want to improve your relationship with, while in the same room with them. Think positive things about them over and over..and see what happens p.76-77, (ex. I love you, I love being with you, You are a remarkable person, I am so blessed and fortunate to have you in my life, I believe you have a wonderful mission to perform)
- Bury your weapons of war, ie. negative thoughts about others, harsh judgements, jealousies, sarcasm...that keeps us feeling separate, isolated and lonely (p. 80)
- Rid yourself of anything that may wound the other person, p.81
- It is folly to judge a person's contribution by only looking at what they give (i.e. the widow's mite) p.104
- Imagine what could happen if each sibling viewed the family as a pool of resources to which they could contribute and draw from. p. 111
- Be loyal to your true feelings p.141
- If something doesn't seem right, find the source p. 145
- If you want to move forward, look forward. The direction we are looking determines where we are headed p. 147
- What changes would you make in your behavior if the Lord were to give you a fresh start and instruct you never to look back? p. 158
- If you woke up tomorrow with amnesia and couldn't remember any of the horrible things your spouse had done in the past...how might that change your behavior and feelings? p. 159
- Think about a formerly troublesome period in your life and write it in a way you believe it is now written, or can be written because of your co-author, the Savior. p. 160
- Ask yourself, does this activity/thought/feeling help me focus on moving forward toward a new future, or does this, in any way, invite me to return to my previous dark ways? p. 164
- Remember the children are watching. Children notice how their parents treat each other and how their parents are feeling. It's almost impossible for parents to hide their actions and emotions (p.168-169)
- How would your children answer the following questions- What do your mom and dad enjoy doing together? What makes each of your parents happy? sad? What does each of your parents believe is the most important thing in life? What does your mom need from your dad and your dad need from your mom these days? If you could change anything in the way your parents treat each other, what would it be? p. 181-182
- What we are able to see is influenced by our spiritual, physical, emotional, mental and social growth and development p. 186
- A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still, p. 192
- There is power in imagining. When you imagine something, your cells and your spirit respond to it as though it has actually happened. p. 208
- Sometimes words spoken by someone we hardly know, can have a powerful effect. Words can change not only our thoughts and feelings- they can change our behavior. Try imagining certain words being spoken to you... p. 210
- Unhealthy eating can be an unconscious attempt to soothe painful feelings p. 216
- What do you long to hear from the Lord that would cause many of the problems in your life and relationships to simply fall away? p. 221
- Are you selfless enough to be more concerned about turning hearts to others, rather than to yourself? p. 229
- There is a difference between a messenger and a meddler (p. 235)
- What a privilege it is to be a messenger of love and a healer of hearts. There is no greater or more sacred trust p. 240
- The more light in our lives, the more love we feel, the more truth we are drawn to, the more power we receive, and the more often we experience the promptings of the Spirit p. 241
- If someone has been in great darkness, it may be too uncomfortable to suddenly expose him or her to full and direct light. Pray for wisdom to proceed at the appropriate speed (p. 259)
- Desires can change because circumstances change p. 263
- Every day we should be mindful of two things- 1) to speak the desires of our heart in a way the other can hear, and 2) to think about and listen to the desires of the other person's heart p. 271
- Are you settling for a less-than-marvelous marriage because you are not willing to invest the time and make the effort it will take to build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your spouse? p. 281
- Don't settle for less!
- When we live beneath ourselves, we think, feel, and behave in ways that betray our true selves p. 288
- Purity and passion go together. Purity enhances passion. p. 290
- Passion that has been purified by the Spirit (pure passion) is always greater than impure passion. Why? Because the Holy Ghost will "increase, enlarge, expand, and purify all the natural passions and affections". p. 290-291
- Pure passion enhances and is foundational to true marital intimacy. True marital intimacy is to be a soulful experience- uniting not only the bodies but the spirits of each spouse. p. 291
-
January 25, 2024
I just finished reading “Rock-Solid Relationships” by Wendy Watson Nelson
Quick Take: Solid read on applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to our relationships.
Longer Take:
In “Rock-Solid Relationships,” Wendy Watson Nelson uses her 25 years of family therapy experience and her knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ to teach several valuable lessons on how to strengthen our familial relationships.
In each chapter, Wendy pulls a specific gospel principle to illustrate how the scriptures can teach us to be better spouses, parents, children, etc. I enjoyed the way she highlighted various scripture lessons in ways I had not thought of previously.
The main theme can be summarized with this excerpt from the book:
“So how can we build rock-solid relationships? The only way is upon The Rock, the Rock of our Redeemer. Rock-solid relationships, have as their foundation, Jesus Christ. … I am convinced the scriptures are the very best ‘how to’ books on relationships.”
My wife and I read this one together. We didn’t love every chapter but overall really enjoyed “Rock-Solid Relationships.” I appreciated the connection between striving to live as a disciple of Jesus Christ and striving to be a good husband and father. A good reminder that the teaching of Jesus Christ needs to infuse every area of my life.
So… Not my favorite marriage book, but I would still recommend it.
Some of My Favourite Quotes:
Rock-solid relationships are built upon The Word, who is Christ, and His words, the scriptures. The prophet Nephi, taught, “Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3). All things? Yes. All things.
Ask yourself what problem concerns you most in that relationship. Now, think about the smallest amount of change—in yourself, the other person, or in your relationship—that would indicate that you are making progress. Most of us are tempted to think of large changes, especially when we’re craving relief. But, just for a few minutes, rein in those tendencies and really think about one small change you would like to see. What could you do, or not do; say or not say; feel or not feel, that would indicate that something is different.
… the husband bravely began giving to his wife exactly what he wished to receive from her. … This husband learned that in situations where intertwined or “twin feelings” exist, it takes only one person who is willing to suspend his or her fears and needs and courageously go where neither has previously dared to tread—to heal both parties. He did so by offering that which he wished to receive.
When we are finally ready to enjoy true love and peace and joy in our relationships, we need to be like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies who “buried their weapons . . . of war, for peace.” We need to gather our swordlike thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and “bury them deep in the earth”
All that is required to nurture a relationship is to give all we are presently capable of giving, and to treat others as if they are doing the same. We need to cut others some slack. We need to believe, and show through our actions that we believe, that others are bringing their very best and giving their all—all that they presently can—to the “party,” just as we are.
Just as every peek into the oven dispels some heat and slows the baking of the dough, every peek into the past—after we have confessed to those we need to, after we have made restitution, after we’ve sincerely started down a new and better path—slows our progress because it shifts our focus, dispels our energy, thoughts, and desires, if only momentarily.
Imagine what might happen if you developed amnesia and could not remember any horrible, disappointing thing that you or a loved one had done or endured? Where would you spend your time and energy as a person without a troublesome past? How would your behavior change toward yourself and toward others? What would be different? Do you have a relationship that you believe could benefit from a case of selective amnesia?
If today were the only chance your children would ever have to learn about how a husband and wife converse, show love to each other, forgive each other, and solve problems together, what would they learn from observing you and your spouse?
If you are to be a source of light, you need to make sure your own wattage is high enough. … Pursue those things that generate light and power. Pray with more feeling, fast with more purpose, study the scriptures more consistently, and participate more often in temple worship, and you’ll be ready to glow!
Perhaps you feel you already know the desires of your loved one’s heart. But chances are, it may be more accurate to say that you used to know. Desires can change because circumstances change. … Do you know what your loved one most desires today?
Are you settling for a less-than-marvelous marriage because you are not willing to invest the time and make the effort it will take to build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your spouse?
If you were to increase by just 10 percent the way gospel truths about life and love influence your thoughts about yourself, your loved one, and your relationship, what would you be able to do that you can’t do now?
We uncover one concept or spiritual insight only to find another lying beneath it, and it becomes a search that literally never ends. Tutored by the Spirit, the deeper we delve, the more we find. We keep uncovering more. Understanding more. Discovering more.
www.lookforthegood.me
Quick Take: Solid read on applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to our relationships.
Longer Take:
In “Rock-Solid Relationships,” Wendy Watson Nelson uses her 25 years of family therapy experience and her knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ to teach several valuable lessons on how to strengthen our familial relationships.
In each chapter, Wendy pulls a specific gospel principle to illustrate how the scriptures can teach us to be better spouses, parents, children, etc. I enjoyed the way she highlighted various scripture lessons in ways I had not thought of previously.
The main theme can be summarized with this excerpt from the book:
“So how can we build rock-solid relationships? The only way is upon The Rock, the Rock of our Redeemer. Rock-solid relationships, have as their foundation, Jesus Christ. … I am convinced the scriptures are the very best ‘how to’ books on relationships.”
My wife and I read this one together. We didn’t love every chapter but overall really enjoyed “Rock-Solid Relationships.” I appreciated the connection between striving to live as a disciple of Jesus Christ and striving to be a good husband and father. A good reminder that the teaching of Jesus Christ needs to infuse every area of my life.
So… Not my favorite marriage book, but I would still recommend it.
Some of My Favourite Quotes:
Rock-solid relationships are built upon The Word, who is Christ, and His words, the scriptures. The prophet Nephi, taught, “Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3). All things? Yes. All things.
Ask yourself what problem concerns you most in that relationship. Now, think about the smallest amount of change—in yourself, the other person, or in your relationship—that would indicate that you are making progress. Most of us are tempted to think of large changes, especially when we’re craving relief. But, just for a few minutes, rein in those tendencies and really think about one small change you would like to see. What could you do, or not do; say or not say; feel or not feel, that would indicate that something is different.
… the husband bravely began giving to his wife exactly what he wished to receive from her. … This husband learned that in situations where intertwined or “twin feelings” exist, it takes only one person who is willing to suspend his or her fears and needs and courageously go where neither has previously dared to tread—to heal both parties. He did so by offering that which he wished to receive.
When we are finally ready to enjoy true love and peace and joy in our relationships, we need to be like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies who “buried their weapons . . . of war, for peace.” We need to gather our swordlike thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and “bury them deep in the earth”
All that is required to nurture a relationship is to give all we are presently capable of giving, and to treat others as if they are doing the same. We need to cut others some slack. We need to believe, and show through our actions that we believe, that others are bringing their very best and giving their all—all that they presently can—to the “party,” just as we are.
Just as every peek into the oven dispels some heat and slows the baking of the dough, every peek into the past—after we have confessed to those we need to, after we have made restitution, after we’ve sincerely started down a new and better path—slows our progress because it shifts our focus, dispels our energy, thoughts, and desires, if only momentarily.
Imagine what might happen if you developed amnesia and could not remember any horrible, disappointing thing that you or a loved one had done or endured? Where would you spend your time and energy as a person without a troublesome past? How would your behavior change toward yourself and toward others? What would be different? Do you have a relationship that you believe could benefit from a case of selective amnesia?
If today were the only chance your children would ever have to learn about how a husband and wife converse, show love to each other, forgive each other, and solve problems together, what would they learn from observing you and your spouse?
If you are to be a source of light, you need to make sure your own wattage is high enough. … Pursue those things that generate light and power. Pray with more feeling, fast with more purpose, study the scriptures more consistently, and participate more often in temple worship, and you’ll be ready to glow!
Perhaps you feel you already know the desires of your loved one’s heart. But chances are, it may be more accurate to say that you used to know. Desires can change because circumstances change. … Do you know what your loved one most desires today?
Are you settling for a less-than-marvelous marriage because you are not willing to invest the time and make the effort it will take to build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your spouse?
If you were to increase by just 10 percent the way gospel truths about life and love influence your thoughts about yourself, your loved one, and your relationship, what would you be able to do that you can’t do now?
We uncover one concept or spiritual insight only to find another lying beneath it, and it becomes a search that literally never ends. Tutored by the Spirit, the deeper we delve, the more we find. We keep uncovering more. Understanding more. Discovering more.
www.lookforthegood.me
March 27, 2017
Deserving of more credit than 5 stars can convey! - enjoyed by both by my husband and I as we basked in the light of truth. Wendy Watson Nelson's experience of thirty years as a marriage and family therapist combine with scriptural truths to present a "Rock Solid" foundation for healing hearts and relationships. Thorough and concise at the same time, this is a great resource for those who desire to strengthen their marriage, a parent/child relationship, or sibling or friendship bonds. Well-written! Enjoyable!! Honest and Enlightening!!!
July 26, 2016
I really like the premise of this book - study the scriptures, learn the wisdom and principles found there, apply them to your life and relationships. In other words read and apply the scriptures in your relationships. There were a few verses and ideas I may not have thought of and appreciated, but I think this is something we can and should all do for ourselves. There are answers and inspiration and direction for us in the scriptures. Applying them will help us to grow and improve.
Some of the principles covered include doing the small things, giving the love you want to receive, watching your thoughts, burying weapons of war, giving, not looking back, considering what others see, letting your light shine, having heart-to-heart conversations, and not settling. Here are a few quotes I liked:
"If, and as, we build our lives upon our Savior Jesus Christ we will succeed (p. 1)!"
"Each and every day she took her question for that particular day to the Lord in prayer, then opened her scriptures--absolutely expecting an answer--and received abundantly (p. 5)!"
"A distinction needs to be drawn between simply reading the scriptures and regularly immersing ourselves in them. In order to become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we were immersed in the waters of baptism. That was only a beginning. We have an ongoing need to be repeatedly immersed in the truths of the restored gospel, or we will understand and experience only enough to feel guilty--and not enough of the eternal truths to feel joy. Joy comes through immersion (p. 8)."
"Think of one of your relationships that needs help and try to identify what the problem is. Remember that a large part of solving any problem is being able to identify it. A problem without a definition is a problem without a solution. Ask yourself what problem concerns you most in that relationship. Now, think about the smallest amount of change--in yourself, the other person, or in your relationship--that would indicate that you are making progress (p. 20)."
"Heather, a 28-year-old woman, applied the wisdom of Matthew 7:12 by sending the letter she most desired to receive (p. 27)."
"Diane was out of ideas, out of energy, and out of hope. Or so she thought, until she started to think about her thinking. Things started to change the day Diane realized how many negative thoughts she was having about Rachel (p. 33)."
"If you are unable to find love and peace and joy in your relationships, could it be you are carrying around thoughts that wound love? feelings that bruise peace? actions that kill joy? The only thing that these 'relationship weapons of war' protect us from is developing loving, lasting relationships. The use of these defensive weapons can make it almost impossible for us to build open, close, caring, supportive relationships. When we are weary of fighting with others and of not feeling loved and appreciated, perhaps it's time to do as the converted Lamanites -- the Anti-Nephi-Lehies -- did. Alma 24 contains a stirring account of these remarkable people who so desired a permanent change in that way they related that they were willing to, and did, rid themselves of anything that might wound their brothers -- brothers, who, by the way, were coming to kill them. When we are finally ready to enjoy true love and peace and joy in our relationships, we need to be like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies who 'buried their weapons...of war, for peace.' We need to gather our swordlike thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and 'bury them deep in the earth (p. 41).'"
"Criticizing others or pointing out another's flaws and imperfections, either to yourself or to them, is another lethal weapon (p. 47)."
"Such judgments regarding the quantity or quality of another's contribution or participation would probably never be spoken if we had been at the treasury the day the Savior taught his disciples the folly of judging a person's contribution by only looking at what they give....It simply isn't possible to tell who gave the most without knowing the whole story (p. 53)."
"What a waste of our time and energy, and of the precious resources in our relationships, when we demand of others: 'Contribute the way I'm contributing,' 'Use your talents (which, by the way, should be the same as mine) the way I'm using mine,' 'Do as I'm doing--follow, follow me (p. 57)!'"
"Just imagine what could happen if each sibling viewed the family as a pool of resources to which they could contribute and draw from. Instead of being irritated and annoyed by others' 'deficiencies,' each could benefit by the diversity of strengths available (p. 57)."
"What if there were a measuring device that calculated how much we give in proportion to the time, talents, energy, and other resources with which the Lord has blessed us? How would you show up on this Giving Scale? Would you be pleased with your rating? Would you wish it were higher? What could you do to increase your rating (p. 63)?"
"Consider someone you have thought of as a burden in your life....What gift have you overlooked or been blind to? What has the person to whom you've been giving, given to you? You may just want to thank them for their gift. Watch what happens to your relationship and to your heart when you do. Because there really is more to giving than meets the eye (p. 65)."
"As we seek to build relationships of strength and trust with our loved ones, we need to be wise stewards of the promptings of the Holy Spirit, if we are to enjoy His constant companionship....We need to be more concerned about offending the Spirit after He has prompted us than about offending others (p. 68)."
"If our goal is to move forward in our relationships, we need to follow the wisdom of the Lord's words and 'look not behind [us].' Because the truth is that the direction we're looking determines where we're heading. We need to look forward, if we want to go forward (p. 77)."
"Ask yourself from time to time: 'If I were living as though the Atonement were fully operative in my life and in the life of the other person, how would I handle this situation?' How would your relationships change if you were to really believe in, and seek to access, the power that is in the Atonement (p. 87)?"
"The very first thing the angel said to Nephi was, 'What beholdest thou?' That seemingly simple question can strengthen our relationships. How? Consider for a moment that the angel may not have been as interested in what Nephi saw, as in what Nephi was able to see. 'What beholdest thou?' may have meant, 'What are you presently able to behold?' And why might that have been of interest to the angel? Because what Nephi was able to see could indicate, among other things, the current state of his spiritual growth and development (p. 99)."
"What might be obscuring your vision these days? Is something keeping you from seeing what is right in front of you? Perhaps you are prevented from truly seeing because of a constraining idea about yourself or about a loved one or about life itself (p. 107)?"
"What are the specific words--spoken by the Lord to you--unique to your life experiences, that could change everything--or at least many things--in your life? For example, what words from the Lord would free you to be more loving and forgiving of others? What do you long to hear from the Lord that would cause many of the problems in your life and your relationships to simply fall away (p. 118)?"
"Perhaps we can draw inspiration to strengthen our relationships from Elijah's selfless mission and example. Instead of worrying about how many people love and appreciate us, we can endeavor to help others love each other. We an work to turn the heart of a father to his children, and the children to their father; the heart of a sister to her brother, and his to her; or the heart of a mother-in-law to her daughter-in-law and vice versa (p. 121)."
"What a privilege it is to be a messenger of love and a healer of hearts. There is no greater or more sacred trust (p. 128)."
"When we offer true love to others, we are also inviting more light into their lives. When we share an experience where the Spirit is present, love increases. When we offer a truth, power is included. Thus, as we bring light to others' lives, the more open to the Spirit they can be, the more love they can feel, the more truth they are able to embrace, and the more power they can access (p. 129)."
"Janice realized that if she were going to have sufficient light to share with her children, she would need more Light in her own life. So that's where she started (p. 134)."
"Pursue those things that generate light and power. Prayer with more feeling, fast with more purpose, study the scriptures more consistently, and participate more often in temple worship, and you'll be ready to glow (p. 138)!"
"What do you really desire? Not just want. Not just kind of would like to have. What is your heartfelt wish? What is the deepest yearning of your soul? If we could be like Nephi and freely express the desires of our hearts, consider how different our relationships might be (p. 140)."
"Do you know the heart of your loved ones? Are you willing to look deep into that person's heart to see the good intent and the love that is there, even if there have been a few things with which you were 'not well pleased (p. 142)?'"
"Are you settling for...
...a shallow friendship because you are trying to turn your friend into you rather than celebrating and enjoying the uniqueness of that individual?
...an ongoing battle with your brother because you are not willing to forgive and apologize?
...a distant relationship with your sister because of petty jealousies, past misunderstandings, and the pride that prevents you from reaching out in love?
...an arm's-length relationship with the scriptures?
...a routine temple experience because you're unwilling to do what it takes to really worship there and have the mysteries of God unfolded to you line upon line, as you are endowed with power (p. 150)?"
"Why would we settle for less? Why would we not be 'willing to enjoy that which [we] might have received? Could it be that:
...We don't believe we have the ability, talent, time, or energy to make something new happen?
...We don't believe anything will ever really change?
...We are being held captive by old, destructive habits?
...We don't believe anyone will really care?
...We don't really believe we deserve to be happier, more fulfilled, and more loved than we are?
...We have grown accustomed to living beneath ourselves and beneath our privileges?
When we live beneath ourselves, we think, feel, and behave in ways that betray our true selves. When we live beneath our privileges, we don't at in ways that are consistent with the light and knowledge we've been given (p. 151)."
"Unless we regularly immerse ourselves in the scriptures, we will likely never discover the true depth of the word of God (p. 161)."
"There is no end to the wisdom to be found in the scriptures (p. 162)."
Some of the principles covered include doing the small things, giving the love you want to receive, watching your thoughts, burying weapons of war, giving, not looking back, considering what others see, letting your light shine, having heart-to-heart conversations, and not settling. Here are a few quotes I liked:
"If, and as, we build our lives upon our Savior Jesus Christ we will succeed (p. 1)!"
"Each and every day she took her question for that particular day to the Lord in prayer, then opened her scriptures--absolutely expecting an answer--and received abundantly (p. 5)!"
"A distinction needs to be drawn between simply reading the scriptures and regularly immersing ourselves in them. In order to become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we were immersed in the waters of baptism. That was only a beginning. We have an ongoing need to be repeatedly immersed in the truths of the restored gospel, or we will understand and experience only enough to feel guilty--and not enough of the eternal truths to feel joy. Joy comes through immersion (p. 8)."
"Think of one of your relationships that needs help and try to identify what the problem is. Remember that a large part of solving any problem is being able to identify it. A problem without a definition is a problem without a solution. Ask yourself what problem concerns you most in that relationship. Now, think about the smallest amount of change--in yourself, the other person, or in your relationship--that would indicate that you are making progress (p. 20)."
"Heather, a 28-year-old woman, applied the wisdom of Matthew 7:12 by sending the letter she most desired to receive (p. 27)."
"Diane was out of ideas, out of energy, and out of hope. Or so she thought, until she started to think about her thinking. Things started to change the day Diane realized how many negative thoughts she was having about Rachel (p. 33)."
"If you are unable to find love and peace and joy in your relationships, could it be you are carrying around thoughts that wound love? feelings that bruise peace? actions that kill joy? The only thing that these 'relationship weapons of war' protect us from is developing loving, lasting relationships. The use of these defensive weapons can make it almost impossible for us to build open, close, caring, supportive relationships. When we are weary of fighting with others and of not feeling loved and appreciated, perhaps it's time to do as the converted Lamanites -- the Anti-Nephi-Lehies -- did. Alma 24 contains a stirring account of these remarkable people who so desired a permanent change in that way they related that they were willing to, and did, rid themselves of anything that might wound their brothers -- brothers, who, by the way, were coming to kill them. When we are finally ready to enjoy true love and peace and joy in our relationships, we need to be like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies who 'buried their weapons...of war, for peace.' We need to gather our swordlike thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and 'bury them deep in the earth (p. 41).'"
"Criticizing others or pointing out another's flaws and imperfections, either to yourself or to them, is another lethal weapon (p. 47)."
"Such judgments regarding the quantity or quality of another's contribution or participation would probably never be spoken if we had been at the treasury the day the Savior taught his disciples the folly of judging a person's contribution by only looking at what they give....It simply isn't possible to tell who gave the most without knowing the whole story (p. 53)."
"What a waste of our time and energy, and of the precious resources in our relationships, when we demand of others: 'Contribute the way I'm contributing,' 'Use your talents (which, by the way, should be the same as mine) the way I'm using mine,' 'Do as I'm doing--follow, follow me (p. 57)!'"
"Just imagine what could happen if each sibling viewed the family as a pool of resources to which they could contribute and draw from. Instead of being irritated and annoyed by others' 'deficiencies,' each could benefit by the diversity of strengths available (p. 57)."
"What if there were a measuring device that calculated how much we give in proportion to the time, talents, energy, and other resources with which the Lord has blessed us? How would you show up on this Giving Scale? Would you be pleased with your rating? Would you wish it were higher? What could you do to increase your rating (p. 63)?"
"Consider someone you have thought of as a burden in your life....What gift have you overlooked or been blind to? What has the person to whom you've been giving, given to you? You may just want to thank them for their gift. Watch what happens to your relationship and to your heart when you do. Because there really is more to giving than meets the eye (p. 65)."
"As we seek to build relationships of strength and trust with our loved ones, we need to be wise stewards of the promptings of the Holy Spirit, if we are to enjoy His constant companionship....We need to be more concerned about offending the Spirit after He has prompted us than about offending others (p. 68)."
"If our goal is to move forward in our relationships, we need to follow the wisdom of the Lord's words and 'look not behind [us].' Because the truth is that the direction we're looking determines where we're heading. We need to look forward, if we want to go forward (p. 77)."
"Ask yourself from time to time: 'If I were living as though the Atonement were fully operative in my life and in the life of the other person, how would I handle this situation?' How would your relationships change if you were to really believe in, and seek to access, the power that is in the Atonement (p. 87)?"
"The very first thing the angel said to Nephi was, 'What beholdest thou?' That seemingly simple question can strengthen our relationships. How? Consider for a moment that the angel may not have been as interested in what Nephi saw, as in what Nephi was able to see. 'What beholdest thou?' may have meant, 'What are you presently able to behold?' And why might that have been of interest to the angel? Because what Nephi was able to see could indicate, among other things, the current state of his spiritual growth and development (p. 99)."
"What might be obscuring your vision these days? Is something keeping you from seeing what is right in front of you? Perhaps you are prevented from truly seeing because of a constraining idea about yourself or about a loved one or about life itself (p. 107)?"
"What are the specific words--spoken by the Lord to you--unique to your life experiences, that could change everything--or at least many things--in your life? For example, what words from the Lord would free you to be more loving and forgiving of others? What do you long to hear from the Lord that would cause many of the problems in your life and your relationships to simply fall away (p. 118)?"
"Perhaps we can draw inspiration to strengthen our relationships from Elijah's selfless mission and example. Instead of worrying about how many people love and appreciate us, we can endeavor to help others love each other. We an work to turn the heart of a father to his children, and the children to their father; the heart of a sister to her brother, and his to her; or the heart of a mother-in-law to her daughter-in-law and vice versa (p. 121)."
"What a privilege it is to be a messenger of love and a healer of hearts. There is no greater or more sacred trust (p. 128)."
"When we offer true love to others, we are also inviting more light into their lives. When we share an experience where the Spirit is present, love increases. When we offer a truth, power is included. Thus, as we bring light to others' lives, the more open to the Spirit they can be, the more love they can feel, the more truth they are able to embrace, and the more power they can access (p. 129)."
"Janice realized that if she were going to have sufficient light to share with her children, she would need more Light in her own life. So that's where she started (p. 134)."
"Pursue those things that generate light and power. Prayer with more feeling, fast with more purpose, study the scriptures more consistently, and participate more often in temple worship, and you'll be ready to glow (p. 138)!"
"What do you really desire? Not just want. Not just kind of would like to have. What is your heartfelt wish? What is the deepest yearning of your soul? If we could be like Nephi and freely express the desires of our hearts, consider how different our relationships might be (p. 140)."
"Do you know the heart of your loved ones? Are you willing to look deep into that person's heart to see the good intent and the love that is there, even if there have been a few things with which you were 'not well pleased (p. 142)?'"
"Are you settling for...
...a shallow friendship because you are trying to turn your friend into you rather than celebrating and enjoying the uniqueness of that individual?
...an ongoing battle with your brother because you are not willing to forgive and apologize?
...a distant relationship with your sister because of petty jealousies, past misunderstandings, and the pride that prevents you from reaching out in love?
...an arm's-length relationship with the scriptures?
...a routine temple experience because you're unwilling to do what it takes to really worship there and have the mysteries of God unfolded to you line upon line, as you are endowed with power (p. 150)?"
"Why would we settle for less? Why would we not be 'willing to enjoy that which [we] might have received? Could it be that:
...We don't believe we have the ability, talent, time, or energy to make something new happen?
...We don't believe anything will ever really change?
...We are being held captive by old, destructive habits?
...We don't believe anyone will really care?
...We don't really believe we deserve to be happier, more fulfilled, and more loved than we are?
...We have grown accustomed to living beneath ourselves and beneath our privileges?
When we live beneath ourselves, we think, feel, and behave in ways that betray our true selves. When we live beneath our privileges, we don't at in ways that are consistent with the light and knowledge we've been given (p. 151)."
"Unless we regularly immerse ourselves in the scriptures, we will likely never discover the true depth of the word of God (p. 161)."
"There is no end to the wisdom to be found in the scriptures (p. 162)."
January 30, 2022
I'm really struggling over what to write here. Ultimately I think different chapters of this book will apply to me (or anyone) at different times throughout life when facing challenges in relationships with spouses, children, parents/siblings, friends, coworkers, etc. When reading it all at once, though, that makes a large portion of it feel unrelatable/inapplicable. Is it good material? Sure. Do I think the ideas are sound and based on true principles? Yes. Minus a few application recommendations that sounded a little outrageous to me (but I'm not a therapist, so maybe they actually work), I believe all of it could be useful at times. A few chapters resounded strongly with me, and the rest was a trudge through the pages just to accomplish the read. My impression is that this book is one to be read many times, and it could receive a different rating each time based on life circumstance.
I truly believe there are excellent insights here. Perhaps I read it at the wrong time or with the wrong mindset. This is likely one of those "It's me, not you" ratings, so don't necessarily let it deter you!
I truly believe there are excellent insights here. Perhaps I read it at the wrong time or with the wrong mindset. This is likely one of those "It's me, not you" ratings, so don't necessarily let it deter you!
October 8, 2020
This book is authored by Wendy Watson Nelson, who was a professor of Marriage and Family Life at BYU. She is now the wife of President Nelson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He read this book before he ever met her.
Her examples encouraging the reader to apply the principles are very helpful. I have learned a lot from this book.
"Each of fourteen chapters in the book discusses a principle from the scriptures and shows how that principle can be applied on a practical level to heal and strengthen relationships with simple and powerful solutions such as watching our thoughts about others, using the past in constructive ways, considering how others see the problem, and not settling for less.
Rock Solid Relationships will change the way you look at others and yourself. It invites you to "experiment upon the word" by applying practical and doable solutions from the scriptures that will improve the way you interact with the people who matter most in your life."
Her examples encouraging the reader to apply the principles are very helpful. I have learned a lot from this book.
"Each of fourteen chapters in the book discusses a principle from the scriptures and shows how that principle can be applied on a practical level to heal and strengthen relationships with simple and powerful solutions such as watching our thoughts about others, using the past in constructive ways, considering how others see the problem, and not settling for less.
Rock Solid Relationships will change the way you look at others and yourself. It invites you to "experiment upon the word" by applying practical and doable solutions from the scriptures that will improve the way you interact with the people who matter most in your life."
Read
December 26, 2023I read this for a book club. I didn’t like it. I grew up in the church and have a lot of trauma from it. Based on that, reading this was the worst. This was all about how reading the scriptures fixes all of your problematic relationships. The examples were realistic, but viewed with rose colored glasses and the church’s toxicity ie:
Cheating wife/ husband that couldn’t get “over it”
Teenage son looking at porn (probably because church sex Ed is nonexistent) and outed by his mom later “appreciates” his mom invading his privacy.
Grown man disconnecting wifi to curb temptation instead of working with a therapist.
I skimmed a lot, but the last parts about including the Lord in “marital intimacy” was it for me. Don’t read this. It’s old, insensitive, unrealistic and also believes that you can change toxic people by “sharing your light.”
Cheating wife/ husband that couldn’t get “over it”
Teenage son looking at porn (probably because church sex Ed is nonexistent) and outed by his mom later “appreciates” his mom invading his privacy.
Grown man disconnecting wifi to curb temptation instead of working with a therapist.
I skimmed a lot, but the last parts about including the Lord in “marital intimacy” was it for me. Don’t read this. It’s old, insensitive, unrealistic and also believes that you can change toxic people by “sharing your light.”
February 9, 2021
This seemed like an appropriate February read, and I loved the layout of the book where she introduces the principle, gives examples, and then issues a challenge. The Kindle version of this book was NOT well laid out, unfortunately. I would like to get a paper copy so I can take each challenge one at a time rather than reading through the entire book while I have it checked out from the library. So there's that. Probably my only gripe was that it felt a bit condescending. What, you don't take every issue directly to the scriptures and to the Lord in prayer and the answers aren't sitting there waiting for you? I'm not there yet. Maybe one day. Baby steps.
May 20, 2019
I was led to this book after reading about it in Insights, by Sheri Dew. It's what led Elder Russell M. Nelson to Wendy Watson. Now he is President Nelson, and she is Wendy Watson Nelson. Her books have been criticized for being written by a single, never married, marriage and family therapist. Who is criticizing now? Her knowledge of the scriptures is impressive. She knows how to apply them in the most practical ways. Sister Nelson is true example of everything she teaches.
January 29, 2022
Some good relationship advice and perspective.
Mostly anecdotal and experience-based rather than researched and scholarly (both have their places).
I really liked the last few chapters on heart-to-heart conversations and sexuality.
The formatting in the Kindle edition was terrible. Words missing, mashed together, italicizing on single characters of words, untrimmed whitespace, unedited length metatags, etc. Obviously a rushed, unprofessional job.
Mostly anecdotal and experience-based rather than researched and scholarly (both have their places).
I really liked the last few chapters on heart-to-heart conversations and sexuality.
The formatting in the Kindle edition was terrible. Words missing, mashed together, italicizing on single characters of words, untrimmed whitespace, unedited length metatags, etc. Obviously a rushed, unprofessional job.
January 18, 2023
Really liked this relationship book from Sister Nelson. It's not just about marriage, but any relationship in your life. One of the chapters that stood out to me was the one on changing your thinking about someone as a first step to changing your feelings about them. If you can just start with thinking loving, kind thoughts about them, that can be a good first step in improving your relationship with them.
November 14, 2020
I just love Watsons way of thinking and explaining principles. There were several parts in this book that expanded the way I think and understand relationships and human behavior. Lots of great suggestions to improve your relationships, and I loved how they were all based in principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
November 23, 2020
Life changing insights on relationships!
This book was such a great read! It is filled with truths that can be applied to any and all relationships to strengthen them and invite the Spirit to be present. It has amazing insights into the scriptures that can motivate better study and more effective application. I'd recommend this book to anyone!
This book was such a great read! It is filled with truths that can be applied to any and all relationships to strengthen them and invite the Spirit to be present. It has amazing insights into the scriptures that can motivate better study and more effective application. I'd recommend this book to anyone!
February 4, 2021
Honestly, this is one of the best books that I have read. I thought that it sounded campy or simplistic based on the title. It is anything but that. Sister Nelson explains and applies the scriptures as I have never heard before. Once she teaches a topic, I wonder why I never thought of it that way before.
December 15, 2019
Fantastic book. Everyone should read this. I applied the principle and it changed some of the relationships I have had big problems with. Now I have no relationship problems. This is a book I will read again.
November 16, 2020
Fantastic book!! One I think I’ll read once a year now! So many spiritual truths found within the scriptures about creating deeper stronger relationships with spouses, parents, siblings and friends. So so good!
August 24, 2023
I had heard great things about Wendy Nelson's books and this one was amazing! About strengthening all the relationships in your life- kids, spouse, parents, siblings, in laws, coworkers etc. There were a lot of things I had not thought of before and I love that Sister Nelson gives specific things you can do to make changes at the end of each chapter. I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to strengthen relationships in their lives.
Note: This is from the early 2000s so some parts were a little dated (talk of CD ROMs, etc.) Hopefully they will make an updated version but the principles are still applicable today.
Note: This is from the early 2000s so some parts were a little dated (talk of CD ROMs, etc.) Hopefully they will make an updated version but the principles are still applicable today.
June 14, 2025
Great read with many good ideas on how to improve any relationship. Whether that is a mother and daughter, friend, spouce, or other kind of relationship. This book will help give ideas on building good strong realtionships.
August 9, 2019
A lot of food for thought and great insights! The chapters on burying weapons of war and having heart to heart conversations were especially powerful
September 3, 2019
This is definitely one I will go back to often 😊
January 5, 2020
I enjoyed it. It has sound, scripture- and research-based advice to build and enhance any kind of relationship (not just marriage).
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