The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction

by Adam S. McHugh

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak." ―James 1:19 How would our lives change if we approached every experience with the intention of listening first? In this noisy, distracting world, it is difficult to truly hear. People talk past each other, eager to be heard but somehow deaf to what is being said. Listening is an essential skill for healthy relationships, both with God and with other people. But it is more than that: listening is a way of life. Adam McHugh places listening at the heart of our spirituality, our relationships and our mission in the world. God himself is the God who hears, and we too can learn to hear what God may be saying through creation, through Scripture, through people. By cultivating a posture of listening, we become more attentive and engaged with those around us. Listening shapes us and equips us to be more attuned to people in pain and more able to minister to those in distress. Our lives are qualitatively different―indeed, better―when we become listeners. Heed the call to the listening life, and hear what God is doing in you and the world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Spirituality, Faith, Christian Living, Self Help, Psychology

224 pages, Paperback

First published December 6, 2015

About the author

Contact Adam through https://linktr.ee/adammchugh or find him on Instagram @adammchughwine

Adam McHugh is a wine tour guide, sommelier, and Certified Specialist of Wine. He is a regular contributor to Edible Santa Barbara & Wine Country and a happy resident of the Santa Ynez Valley.

Adam is the author of the memoir Blood from a Stone: A Memoir of How Wine Brought Me Back from the Dead, which tells the story of how he stumbled his way from hospice chaplain and grief counselor in Los Angeles to wine tour guide and sommelier in the Santa Ynez Valley.

A former hospice chaplain and Presbyterian minister, he wrote two books while in professional ministry: The Listening Life and Introverts in the Church. He was featured in Susan Cain's bestselling book Quiet, and wrote articles on introversion and listening for Psychology Today, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, and Quiet Revolution.

Adam is a graduate of Claremont McKenna College and the Princeton School of Theology.

Reviews

[Anne Bogel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Adam's previous book Introverts in the Church, so I've been looking forward to this for a long time. I very much enjoyed (and at times felt painfully convicted by) this book, which explores: what listening really is (it's probably not what you think), why it's worth doing, and why it's so terribly important in a culture that never stops talking. Relatable and wise.

[Sylvester (Taking a break in 2023) · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Listen first."
If ever a book hit home, this was it.
Simple, but embracing everything, that's listening.

[Justin McGuire · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was some meat that was well worth reading, but so many big bones to gag on along the way.

[Beth Lorow · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good. Such important reminders about being people/churches who listen more than we talk.

[Elena Palomino · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can I give this more than five stars?! 👏👏 A deep, moving manifesto on the importance and practice of listening, with its challenges and blessings. Each chapter explores a different facet of listening (listening to scripture, to nature, to emotions, to others, to our communities and more), and I walked away from every single one changed in my thoughts or actions. Seriously can’t speak highly enough of this book and the impact it’s already had on me and my approach to relationships.

[Becky Philo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will be thinking of this book for a long time. I took my time reading it as there is much to absorb and give thought to when it comes to developing the skill of listening. Our world is noisy. Listening is an art and something we can practice. My favorite chapters were “Listening to Others” and “Listening to People in Pain” though I also loved the chapter about listening to creation. I will keep this book on my shelf and plan to reread it often. I highly recommend it!

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book with helpful and practical practices in listening! Highly recommend!

[Brooke Durrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

(4/5) thank you Julie Crawford for the recommendation. Super good ideas on how to listen better to others and the Lord .

[Lindsey Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful, contemplative read that poses some excellent questions about the way we engage and reveals our need to grow in listening.

[Jeanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

In terms of soul work, we dare not get rid of the pain before we have learned what it has to teach us.

McHugh a chaplain for a hospice center has great insight to what it means to listen and how listening changes our heart towards God and others. McHugh's does not stress a theology (or the gospel) but he stresses Christians to become better listeners. However, that being said, we all have a theology, a truth that we live our lives to. So I agree with becoming better listeners. Becoming a better listener gives you influence and it also teaches you about others and what God may be trying to grow up in you.

What I learned and was most profound to me was the question, why we (when I say we I mean I) are not good listeners. Being a good listener requires intimacy and the ability to feel or desire to feel others pain. We get so overwhelmed that we do not realize that we lose the art of listening to others. Listening is actually putting others first before your needs and insecurities.

Listening also helps us become better communicators. In becoming a better communicator, we can communicate the gospel. That is what I most valued from this read.

A Special Thank You to InterVarsity Press and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

[Pat Loughery · Rating 5 out of 5]

As much as I loved McHugh's previous book, Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture (and I continue to call it one of those best books that helped shape me as a leader), this may be even more broadly applicable, and widely read. McHugh takes on not just listening, but the voice of God, the voice of those around us (especially those who are hurting) and the voice of ourselves in a distracted world.

It's extremely well written, and I've been recommending it broadly for weeks now. You should read it.

[Mary Prather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely worth reading. The biggest takeaway from the book will be the way in which I approach my conversations with others. The only reason I didn’t rate the book with 5 stars is because after a while, it seemed that McHugh was saying the same things over and over again, simply using different words. The book probably have been cut by 1/3 and been just as effective.

Listening is tied directly to humility - something huge to ponder from this book!

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

I need more of this in my life. luckily it's a book about just that :) so many quotes to remember.

[marylyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I especially appreciated the later chapters...listening to people in pain and listening to your life. It was convicting in a helpful way of how I can listen more fully to those around me

[Jonathan A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adam McHugh is tackling an important issue not just for churches but for society - we don't listen. He brings a compassionate approach to listening to others that shows his love for humanity. The first part of the book is more of a theological treatise on the nature of God, Christ, etc., and is attempting to show how listening comes out of one's faith. McHugh is coming from a specific understanding of Christianity (Reformed, evangelical) which is shaping his theological understanding. It would have been helpful for McHugh to state that upfront. For those who have a different understanding of Christianity his theological treatment may be challenging. The second half of the book, looking at how churches and christians can become places and people of listening, is much stronger and shows McHugh's pastoral side.
Overall, it is a good book and worth the read. We all need to learn to listen, to listen more, and then to sit in the space of silence listening for the movement of the Divine in the moment.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very readable and actionable. For someone who says he gets bored by practicalities, McHugh's book offers many concrete ways to listen better. The title might sound really spiritual, but it's quite down-to-earth, while staying firmly on the foundation of biblical orthodox Christianity (and thus being, yes, spiritual) I underlined more and more as I got further into the book, so if it feels slow to you, keep at it (or skip to the next chapter), because it gets even better as it goes on.

Also, the endnotes are funny. Don't miss them!

[Janis · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World Of Distraction tackles the huge subject of attentive listening from a Christian perspective. Author Adam S. McHugh’s chapters on “Listening to Others” and “Listening to People in Pain” were thought-provoking. He quoted several other authors that I want to look up. McHugh has lots of good things to say about this subject—maybe too much. I think he should have condensed his writing and focused on just a few aspects of listening.

[Jonah Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Listen first” - to God, others, and ourselves. Adam McHugh does a great job at showing why we are so bad at listening, demonstrating the healing that comes from listening, and questioning how we can listen better. He doesn’t just present a list of things to do, but instead shows what a heart that wants to listen looks like. This book was convicting of my own listening ability, and inspiring in casting vision for a Church that truly listens.

[Crystal Storms · Rating 5 out of 5]

A favorite quote: "Biblical listening is a whole-hearted, full-bodied listening that not only vibrates our eardrums but echoes in our souls and resonates out into our limbs." Love how this book challenged me to not only listen but hear, not only be still but to act.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was recommended by a friend I trust, but who hadn't recommended a book to me before. 3 stars for the first half which was too long and occasionally dragged, but 4 stars for the second half (beginning with Listening to Others) which was excellent.

[John Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will confront you with the fact that you’re not that great of a listener, and give you the tools to be a better one. It’s focused on this point and I appreciate how it has challenged me to grow in the skill of listening (not just hearing!) others. I have already found this book being at the forefront of my mind in conversations, reminding me to focus on listening to the other person instead of talking over them.

[Alicia]

Assigned from transformational listening - some decent reflections on how to approach scripture reading, God's voice, and self-reflection. A bit of a yappy guy tone/vibe throughout though, despite the whole book being about how not to yap xDD

[Shawna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really great content. I gave it only 3 stars because it seemed longer than necessary and, therefore, a bit tedious.

[Joel Cachola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good stuff here and there. There’s a lot of fluff I skimmed through. Important reminders. But a good amount of stuff I will be taking with a grain of salt.

[Ginger Ciminello · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rich. Practical. Convicting. Half of my copy is underlined and so many pages are dog-eared. My fav non-fiction of the year thus far.

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Sometimes those of us with gifts for words develop those gifts as ways of concealing the emotions we have stifled since we were children.”

[Sarah Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought provoking book with unique and healing ideas. He talks about listening to God, listening to nature, listening to ourselves and listening to our neighbors. Highly recommend.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did audio and would love to reread the physical book. Again and again.

“A Lord who speaks truth to me is good. And right. A Lord who listens to me is grace and mystery and glory.”

[Jewel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book but slow read!

[Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely ranked as one of the best books I've ever read!