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Wrestling with God and Men: Homosexuality in the Jewish Tradition
Wrestling with God and Men is the product of Rabbi Steven Greenberg's ten-year struggle to reconcile his homosexuality with Orthodox Judaism. Employing traditional rabbinic resources, Greenberg presents readers with surprising biblical interpretations of the creation story, the love of David and Jonathan, the destruction of Sodom, and the condemning verses of Leviticus. But Greenberg goes beyond the question of whether homosexuality is biblically acceptable to ask how such relationships can be sacred. In so doing, he draws on a wide array of nonscriptural texts to introduce readers to occasions of same-sex love in Talmudic narratives, medieval Jewish poetry and prose, and traditional Jewish case law literature. Ultimately, Greenberg argues that Orthodox communities must open up debate, dialogue, and discussion-precisely the foundation upon which Jewish law rests-to truly deal with the issue of homosexual love. This book will appeal to all people of faith struggling to merge their belief in the scriptures with a desire to make their communities more open and accepting to gay and lesbian members.
312 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 7, 2024
Rabbi Greenberg's exegesis is phenomenal and needed. His book is divided into four parts: the first is Sacred Texts, which outlines the material in the Torah that discusses gender and sexuality. Next, Evidence turns to the poems, prose, and midrash outside the law books that directly or indirectly address same-sex attraction. These cover a wide range of opinions, ranging from sympathetic to same-sex attraction to vehemently against it. The third section, Rationales, looks at the central problem - the well-known Leviticus prohibitions (Lev 18:22 and 20:13) against male homosexual intercourse. It attempts to understand why the prohibition is there in the first place and goes over four typical rabbinic rationales. The final section of the book, Conversations, pivots from detailed textual interpretation to mapping out dialogues for rabbis and their gay and lesbian congregants to begin talking about policy despite their differing perspectives.
The first two chapters covered halakhic discussions that I was already aware of; given that this book was first published in 2004, I can only surmise that many of the perspectives that were avant garde when writing this work have trickled into liberal spaces. I am grateful that it appears as though the conversation is moving in the direction Greenberg hoped it would nearly 20 years ago. Despite being well-versed in this material from my own study, I appreciated the distillation.
However, when Rabbi Greenberg got into his own interpretations of verses - especially the prohibition of homosexual relations in Leviticus - I was excited. His readings are built up beautifully, with reasoning leading together to clarity. His final reading of the Levitical Law was mind-bending and energizing to read as a queer Jew. That section alone was worth the whole book.
His final sections dealing with how to make Orthodox communities accepting are deeply humanizing and compelling. Greenberg recognizes that change is a process without compromising his commitment to a future that honors and uplifts queer individuals and queer relationships. It is a moving, genuine, uninhibited dialogue. I appreciated this immensely - while I am not an Orthodox Jew, the development of queer Jewish thought in the most conservative corners of my faith tradition can only strengthen the tradition as a whole.
This is definitely a work that I would like to own. It builds a powerful cornerstone in my faith tradition by a teacher willing to be critical of his biases. None of his interpretations are done without recognizing that he, as a gay man, has stake in the game. It is in his benefit to carve a space for himself within the community he loves. Yet Judaism is the religion of interpretation; the faith of G-d's many-faceted word, the black fire on white fire that continually reveals itself in every age. It is a tradition of constant questioning and struggling with the divinely ordained - our people are Isra-el (lit. 'wrestles with G-d') for a reason. This is another contribution to that ancient process, and I am glad for it. 4 stars.
The first two chapters covered halakhic discussions that I was already aware of; given that this book was first published in 2004, I can only surmise that many of the perspectives that were avant garde when writing this work have trickled into liberal spaces. I am grateful that it appears as though the conversation is moving in the direction Greenberg hoped it would nearly 20 years ago. Despite being well-versed in this material from my own study, I appreciated the distillation.
However, when Rabbi Greenberg got into his own interpretations of verses - especially the prohibition of homosexual relations in Leviticus - I was excited. His readings are built up beautifully, with reasoning leading together to clarity. His final reading of the Levitical Law was mind-bending and energizing to read as a queer Jew. That section alone was worth the whole book.
His final sections dealing with how to make Orthodox communities accepting are deeply humanizing and compelling. Greenberg recognizes that change is a process without compromising his commitment to a future that honors and uplifts queer individuals and queer relationships. It is a moving, genuine, uninhibited dialogue. I appreciated this immensely - while I am not an Orthodox Jew, the development of queer Jewish thought in the most conservative corners of my faith tradition can only strengthen the tradition as a whole.
This is definitely a work that I would like to own. It builds a powerful cornerstone in my faith tradition by a teacher willing to be critical of his biases. None of his interpretations are done without recognizing that he, as a gay man, has stake in the game. It is in his benefit to carve a space for himself within the community he loves. Yet Judaism is the religion of interpretation; the faith of G-d's many-faceted word, the black fire on white fire that continually reveals itself in every age. It is a tradition of constant questioning and struggling with the divinely ordained - our people are Isra-el (lit. 'wrestles with G-d') for a reason. This is another contribution to that ancient process, and I am glad for it. 4 stars.
December 4, 2019
SO MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL!!!!!!
This really took me back to my Yeshiva days and has made me question my perception of halacha and rabbinic authority in ways I hadn't fully realized as a high-schooler. I'm really intrigued by the ideas Rabbi Greenberg brings forward, but am still troubled by the sacrifices gay Jews are expected to make to remain part of Orthodox Jewish life. I'm sure I'll spend my entire life grappling with the notions put forth in this book, but I have such a deep love and appreciation for Rabbi Greenberg and his passionate advocacy for LGBT Jews. He gave my friend and I a lot of guidance and support in creating our own underground GSA at our Yeshiva, and I would love to speak to him further about Orthodox support of the LGBT community, and where we, as gay and/or gnc Jews can continue to create solidarity and celebration of our identities in the future.
This really took me back to my Yeshiva days and has made me question my perception of halacha and rabbinic authority in ways I hadn't fully realized as a high-schooler. I'm really intrigued by the ideas Rabbi Greenberg brings forward, but am still troubled by the sacrifices gay Jews are expected to make to remain part of Orthodox Jewish life. I'm sure I'll spend my entire life grappling with the notions put forth in this book, but I have such a deep love and appreciation for Rabbi Greenberg and his passionate advocacy for LGBT Jews. He gave my friend and I a lot of guidance and support in creating our own underground GSA at our Yeshiva, and I would love to speak to him further about Orthodox support of the LGBT community, and where we, as gay and/or gnc Jews can continue to create solidarity and celebration of our identities in the future.
September 28, 2017
A fascinating and important work. Rabbi Greenberg makes some incredibly important points and provides all the research and evidence one needs to prove that inclusion of LGBT people in Judaism is more than required. But frustratingly he doesn't spell out the conclusions he is obviously making, instead leaving the 'what should happen next' part to our imagination, instead of a call to action.
March 12, 2018
Brilliant exegesis and history woven with a gay Orthodox rabbi's personal story. How I wish that orthodox Christians could treat Scripture, reason, tradition and the testimonies of LGBTQ2S+ people with as much dignity as Rabbi Greenberg does here!
July 17, 2016
Wow, this is an amazing book, full of healing and wisdom. Steven Greenberg is a Modern Orthodox rabbi and gay, and he gets the struggle, the wrestling with God, scripture, and others so well. He captured perfectly thoughts I've been trying to form and write down for some years so much so that I wept after finishing the book. While the book focuses on Jewish tradition, there are so many parallels for conservative Muslims and Christians in the arguments we hear from scripture or tradition.
Greenberg astutely understands that the issue is much larger than seeking permissibility for sexual actions but rather hinges on how religiously committed, often conservative or orthodox, lesbians and gays can move forward with lives imbued with meaning, "love, intimacy, and commitment." He challenges religious leaders, communities, and gay and lesbians themselves to work together toward more inclusive community. And for lesbians and gays he offers an inclusive reading of scripture, which can comfort the heart and save one's faith. Lesbian and gays have been offered two choices by those who reject their sexuality, lie about who we are or leave our religious communities. Greenberg posits that a third option is available, "to stay and tell the truth."
Greenberg astutely understands that the issue is much larger than seeking permissibility for sexual actions but rather hinges on how religiously committed, often conservative or orthodox, lesbians and gays can move forward with lives imbued with meaning, "love, intimacy, and commitment." He challenges religious leaders, communities, and gay and lesbians themselves to work together toward more inclusive community. And for lesbians and gays he offers an inclusive reading of scripture, which can comfort the heart and save one's faith. Lesbian and gays have been offered two choices by those who reject their sexuality, lie about who we are or leave our religious communities. Greenberg posits that a third option is available, "to stay and tell the truth."
December 11, 2018
I'm really glad to have read this book in its entirety. It's something that has been so influential (at least in my highly specific circles) that I knew most of the broad strokes of Greenberg's conclusions and few of his source texts, but hadn't really been taught much in the way of the specifics of his halachic argument, and I found his readings really interesting. All communities deserve members like Rabbi Greenberg, who love them enough to really, deeply challenge them from within.
February 13, 2018
Very interesting book that as far as I know is one of the few that discusses gay Jewish identity from an Orthodox perspective.
February 5, 2013
Rabbi Steven Greenberg's Wrestling with God & Men takes on a fairly formidable task - making room for the acceptance of homosexuality within the Jewish tradition. This task is complicated by the fact that Rabbi Greenberg has chosen not to simply disregard halakha and tradition as does the approach toward the acceptance of gays and lesbians within many non-Orthodox circles. Instead, he sets to carve out a space within the tradition in which homosexuality can exist and be acknowledged as permissible within the constraints of halakha.
Rabbi Greenberg pursues this task from a variety of angles, mustering a diverse range of arguments to make his case. While some are considerably less compelling than others (a fact which he himself often acknowledges), the overall sweep of his case is not easily dismissed. Indeed, one of the unexpected pleasures of this book is that, while it is focused on a particular set of halakhic concerns, it also manages to serve as a brilliant example of approaching Torah in a manner that is innovative and audacious in its embrace of contemporary insights while remaining respectful and true to the tradition. Wrestling with God & Men would be worth reading on this score alone even for one with little concern for the specific issues the book raises.
Rabbi Greenberg has no illusions about the difficulty of his task. He readily acknowledges that his approaches to the issue of homosexuality and halakha will face considerable challenges and resistance. So it is to his credit that he chooses not to sidestep these challenges, but instead takes them head-on. This is a great work of scholarship that deserves as wide an audience as possible, particularly within the Jewish community.
Rabbi Greenberg pursues this task from a variety of angles, mustering a diverse range of arguments to make his case. While some are considerably less compelling than others (a fact which he himself often acknowledges), the overall sweep of his case is not easily dismissed. Indeed, one of the unexpected pleasures of this book is that, while it is focused on a particular set of halakhic concerns, it also manages to serve as a brilliant example of approaching Torah in a manner that is innovative and audacious in its embrace of contemporary insights while remaining respectful and true to the tradition. Wrestling with God & Men would be worth reading on this score alone even for one with little concern for the specific issues the book raises.
Rabbi Greenberg has no illusions about the difficulty of his task. He readily acknowledges that his approaches to the issue of homosexuality and halakha will face considerable challenges and resistance. So it is to his credit that he chooses not to sidestep these challenges, but instead takes them head-on. This is a great work of scholarship that deserves as wide an audience as possible, particularly within the Jewish community.
August 5, 2015
I was really glad to read an in-depth investigation of the Orthodox Jewish many viewpoints on homosexuality written by a courageous gay Orthodox Rabbi. The thousands of years of analysis Greenberg describes makes the rantings of many anti-gay Christian churches look flabby and thoughtless.
The high point for me was discovering that Leviticus only outlaws penetration by the top in anal intercourse. There is no problem for the bottom. There are other surprises. For example, Orthodoxy has almost nothing to say about lesbians.
Greenberg brings up the Orthodox position on usury as an example of the adjustment of the Orthodox position. The Bible strictly outlaws charging interest on loans. After centuries of discussion, it was decided that these rules only applied to personal and charitable loans but not to business loans.
The book ends with discussion of possible adaptation to gay relationships. It may take a few centuries.
The high point for me was discovering that Leviticus only outlaws penetration by the top in anal intercourse. There is no problem for the bottom. There are other surprises. For example, Orthodoxy has almost nothing to say about lesbians.
Greenberg brings up the Orthodox position on usury as an example of the adjustment of the Orthodox position. The Bible strictly outlaws charging interest on loans. After centuries of discussion, it was decided that these rules only applied to personal and charitable loans but not to business loans.
The book ends with discussion of possible adaptation to gay relationships. It may take a few centuries.
January 2, 2026
This is a pioneering and deeply reflective work in which one of the first openly gay Orthodox rabbis grapples with the tension between sexual identity and religious commitment.
Blending personal memoir with rigorous textual analysis, Greenberg re-examines key biblical and rabbinic sources—such as the creation narrative, the story of David and Jonathan, the sin of Sodom, and the Levitical prohibitions—to argue that traditional condemnations of homosexuality have often been shaped by concerns about power, humiliation, and social order rather than consensual, loving relationships.
Drawing on Torah, Talmud, medieval poetry, and halakhic literature, the book challenges fixed interpretations while remaining rooted in Jewish legal and interpretive tradition.
I found the arguments to re interpret the passages in Leviticus as referring to violent, nonconcensual and humiliting male/male sex to be convincing and in keeping with how male/male sex is portrayed elsewhere in the Torah, Talmud, and in other ancient cultures.
Ultimately, 'Wrestling with God and Men' is a call for an open and compassionate debate within Orthodox Judaism and shows LGBT people a clear path to live religiously faithful Jewish lives with integrity and dignity.
Blending personal memoir with rigorous textual analysis, Greenberg re-examines key biblical and rabbinic sources—such as the creation narrative, the story of David and Jonathan, the sin of Sodom, and the Levitical prohibitions—to argue that traditional condemnations of homosexuality have often been shaped by concerns about power, humiliation, and social order rather than consensual, loving relationships.
Drawing on Torah, Talmud, medieval poetry, and halakhic literature, the book challenges fixed interpretations while remaining rooted in Jewish legal and interpretive tradition.
I found the arguments to re interpret the passages in Leviticus as referring to violent, nonconcensual and humiliting male/male sex to be convincing and in keeping with how male/male sex is portrayed elsewhere in the Torah, Talmud, and in other ancient cultures.
Ultimately, 'Wrestling with God and Men' is a call for an open and compassionate debate within Orthodox Judaism and shows LGBT people a clear path to live religiously faithful Jewish lives with integrity and dignity.
May 10, 2017
Incredible, useful, needed.
December 17, 2025
I found this book incredibly valuable in my journey through 'queering nature'. The insights are so deep and surprising. It's a bit of a hymn to the fluidity of language and meaning. And we do need constant reminders, I think, that words mean different things to different people at different times (who knew?!). It's too easy to get fixated on fixed meanings and fixed ways of being, imagining them to be pre-ordained and concrete. This book gives me hope in tricky times, when uncertainty and gentleness are being pushed to one side to make way for something we have already seen multiple times, and really ought to know better about by now! This book is a little piece of hope and positivity, a small, bright light shining in an ever-growing dark place - and yet so often we can fail to even acknowledge this darkness. I hope this book is really resonating in the faith communities where it really matters, because this is a radically inclusive universe, and if we cannot learn to become radically inclusive as a people, we're in real trouble, I think. Having faith that spiritual words were meant to be radically inclusive in the first place is a healing place to start, I think. And, truly, if we approach words with a fixed idea of what is included and what is not, what hope do we have at this challenging time...
February 27, 2023
This was a tough, fascinating, and often vexing read. It's a book--as far as I can, it is THE ONLY book--about Orthodox Jewish tradition and homosexuality. It's written by an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi who is gay (and openly gay, and partnered). Orthodox tradition generally regards homosexuality, after the prohibition of men lying with men in Leviticus, as an abomination. So Greenberg is swimming against the tide here, as he makes a case for a reading of the Torah and traditional Jewish law that might excise the prohibition. His goal is a conversation with his Orthodox colleagues, to open minds and hearts to a view of homosexuality that moves beyond tolerance to acceptance, that understands the gay man as not a person with an affliction but simply with a difference. I applaud the goal and hope that in the nearly two decades since the book was written it has perhaps started to move the needle within Orthodox Judaism.
I am reading the book because the man I have fallen in love with is an Orthodox Jew. I am about as secular a Jew as it's possible to be, raised in the Reform movement. I want to understand what my boyfriend has been taught, and how I can provide whatever support he may need from me.
The tricky part is, that if one isn't Orthodox (as I am not) it feels difficult to understand, as the book unfolds, why Greenberg doesn't just leave Orthodox Judaism and embrace another tradition (such as Reconstructionism) where gay people are welcomed. I get that he's trying to fight a battle within the system; but the spiritual needs that Orthodoxy fills for Greenberg and presumably others aren't clear to me from the book. (I should note that in the case of my boyfriend things are clearer: he is tied to a family and community of long-standing that are bound up in Orthodox practice).
The book is a tough read, mostly. It's written in a style I can only call Talmudic, as it considers and reconsiders and examines and reexamines almost ad nauseum the various interpretations and arguments and readings of the Biblical verses that relate to homosexuality. The whole mindset of these verses is, by definition, ancient--our understanding of being gay in the contemporary Western world is less than a century old, so therefore nowhere reflected in the texts Greenberg necessarily consults and deals with.
The final chapters offer an attempt at a solution to the problem inherent in the book, wherein Greenberg imagines a conversation between a reasonably caring and enlightened Orthodox rabbi and a young man who is Orthodox and gay and wants to be both in a coherent way.
Greenberg does offer glimmers of what the solution ought to be (at least to my mind): the core of Judaism is often said to be that we are made in the image of God and must treat all others in the loving, compassionate way that follows from that idea. Shouldn't it just be that simple?
I am glad to have read this. The subject is fascinating. Reading this book was frustrating and often difficult for me, but I think will matter in my life, given my personal situation.
I am reading the book because the man I have fallen in love with is an Orthodox Jew. I am about as secular a Jew as it's possible to be, raised in the Reform movement. I want to understand what my boyfriend has been taught, and how I can provide whatever support he may need from me.
The tricky part is, that if one isn't Orthodox (as I am not) it feels difficult to understand, as the book unfolds, why Greenberg doesn't just leave Orthodox Judaism and embrace another tradition (such as Reconstructionism) where gay people are welcomed. I get that he's trying to fight a battle within the system; but the spiritual needs that Orthodoxy fills for Greenberg and presumably others aren't clear to me from the book. (I should note that in the case of my boyfriend things are clearer: he is tied to a family and community of long-standing that are bound up in Orthodox practice).
The book is a tough read, mostly. It's written in a style I can only call Talmudic, as it considers and reconsiders and examines and reexamines almost ad nauseum the various interpretations and arguments and readings of the Biblical verses that relate to homosexuality. The whole mindset of these verses is, by definition, ancient--our understanding of being gay in the contemporary Western world is less than a century old, so therefore nowhere reflected in the texts Greenberg necessarily consults and deals with.
The final chapters offer an attempt at a solution to the problem inherent in the book, wherein Greenberg imagines a conversation between a reasonably caring and enlightened Orthodox rabbi and a young man who is Orthodox and gay and wants to be both in a coherent way.
Greenberg does offer glimmers of what the solution ought to be (at least to my mind): the core of Judaism is often said to be that we are made in the image of God and must treat all others in the loving, compassionate way that follows from that idea. Shouldn't it just be that simple?
I am glad to have read this. The subject is fascinating. Reading this book was frustrating and often difficult for me, but I think will matter in my life, given my personal situation.
August 16, 2012
An in-depth look at the texts regarding sexuality, ethics and God's law in the Hebrew Scriptures. Carefully researched and very readable, this book presents several different argument structures from several (not just two) sides and allows the reader to come to their own conclusions (a rare feat these days!) Especially enlightening for Christians who are not familiar with Jewish approaches to Scripture. I think I'll be rereading this one regularly in my professional life.
I'm not sure I'm the best person to guess who would find this book useful in terms of education levels- I think certainly any interested college student (with a little patience) would find this book readable enough. A high school student might struggle a bit, but taking it chapter by chapter, instead of all at once, might help. This is the kind of book where you have to let the ideas settle a little while, anyway.
I'm not sure I'm the best person to guess who would find this book useful in terms of education levels- I think certainly any interested college student (with a little patience) would find this book readable enough. A high school student might struggle a bit, but taking it chapter by chapter, instead of all at once, might help. This is the kind of book where you have to let the ideas settle a little while, anyway.
April 24, 2013
By no means is this an easy read! This is a detailed examination of the strictures against homosexuality in the Old Testament (or Torah) by an Orthodox Rabbi. The recounting of the Jewish faith tradition since the fall of the 2nd Temple is very interesting. Rather than rely on a single authority, the interpretation of the Law is determined by an ongoing debate that may last many years. This book is an interesting study of the different forms of argument this debate takes on and refers to many distinguished Rabbis over the centuries. A great theological read!!
April 14, 2015
There was a lot to take in from this stunning book. I always assumed there was a "closed case" for homosexual expression in Judaism. The rabbi's exegesis was interesting and made me re-think for the thousandth time the wisdom of basing one's life on a literal interpretation of ANYTHING. Language is the tool for clarity and obscurity both -- simultaneously.
Reading the book with an open mind, I went on to look more into the Ancient Greek sources for treating homosexuality as a sort of enslavement. Does it make sense to apply those standards today?
I don't know.
Reading the book with an open mind, I went on to look more into the Ancient Greek sources for treating homosexuality as a sort of enslavement. Does it make sense to apply those standards today?
I don't know.
April 16, 2007
I'm still in the process of reading, so I don't want to have a final say yet, but I heard Rabbi Greenberg speak when he was at McGill and immediately HAD to read the book. It's not nearly as engaging as he is in person, but it's very interesting and a much better, more thought out, more concise and more convincing argument about why homosexuality is should not actually be a problem in Judaism.
I wish I had more free time to read because it is extremely interesting.
I wish I had more free time to read because it is extremely interesting.
September 26, 2025
In a culturally embedded prejudice it’s ok to be gay, just don’t have anal sex.
“Where great importance is attached to belonging in absolute ways to one or the other gender, where the social roles, division of labor, and inheritance laws are sharply divided along gender lines, homosexuality will be abominated.” (184)
“Where great importance is attached to belonging in absolute ways to one or the other gender, where the social roles, division of labor, and inheritance laws are sharply divided along gender lines, homosexuality will be abominated.” (184)
September 16, 2009
an excellent writer with interesting discussions, but part of me doesn't really care if there's some way to work around the prohibition and stay with orthodoxy (maybe because I wouldn't want to be orthodox as long as women are devalued, in my opinion, in that tradition)
Read
August 4, 2017this is an excellent book accessible, thoughtful and very well written.
Want to read
July 28, 2014This is in my library as part of my research on sex, gender and morality in the Bible.
March 16, 2014
This is the finest contribution to the theological study of homosexuality and traditional faith communities I have seen.
Read
August 27, 2017(Read various parts of this previously, but now reread cover to cover over Shabbes for teaching purposes. Might post more about it later, but I have several deadlines right now and am also lecturing in Kansas City tomorrow...)
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