If I Live to Be 100: Lessons from the Centenarians

by Neenah Ellis

Neenah Ellis's New York Times bestselling If I Live to Be 100 takes us inside the world of the very old and invites us to learn from them the art of living well for an exceptionally long period of time. Their stories add up to a course in living, with lessons and inspiration for all of us.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Audiobook, Book Club, Inspirational, Biography Memoir

256 pages, Paperback

First published August 21, 2002

Reviews

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess you can see by my book list that there aren't many books that I just plain didn't like. This one got close. I started it in July and just got around to finishing it today, only because I wanted it out of my way. Unfinished books haunt me.

So anyway, I felt like Ellis was looking for some meaning in her own life instead of really taking a close look at the lives of the centenarians she interviewed. In other words, it was about her, not them, when I felt like the real story should have been with them. If she wants to write an autobiographical novel, she's welcome to do it. But not in a book she titled, "If I Live to Be 100: Lessons from the Centenarians." She even admitted that all her life she had been the one who had talked and talked and who wanted to be the center of attention and says she feels like she's gotten away from that in her interviews. But then she sticks in these little snippets of her life and reacts emotionally to things the interviewees say without being able to explain why. Sigh.

But some of the little snippets she got from them were quite interesting. They just could have been arranged better.

[Devin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the advice of "it doesn't cost anything to say hello." This book really brought home the point that we all need each other in this world. Let's make friends and love each other instead of being mean or making enemies.

[Sheryl Sorrentino · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful "oral histories" of life past 100, with many touching and sobering life lessons along the way.

[Aubrey Pluta · Rating 3 out of 5]

finished this a while ago, but i guess i never updated this on goodreads? i liked the concept and the stories from the centenarians were interesting, but the author was so awful! like she kept making all of their stories about herself and it was just really annoying to read.

[Kristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The mini-biographies of the centenarians featured in this book were interesting and worthwhile. The author, however, interjected herself into every corner of each narrative, to the point of being completely irritating and at times, borderline disrespectful. Perhaps the NPR series was more focused on the subjects themselves; this book could have been so much more if the author could have just listened.

[Sherrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this from a fellow book club person. She really liked this book. She loaned it to me to read. I wasn't too sure I would like it when I started the book. But the more I read the more I wanted to know. The book is written of stories of people who are 100 or over in age. These people are amazing. Anna for instance still rows her little boat every morning. This is my favorite story in the book. The author asks...

"Anna, what do people have to look forward to, being a hundred years old?"
"Well, the only thing I can say is, Don't sit. Get going. Move. Have an incentive. Don't keep thinking 'I'm old.' Get it out of your system. Keep going! I don't stay put. That's it."

It sounds so simple but if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. I really enjoyed reading this book.

[KC · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's always fascinating to hear personal accounts of the past.

[Koren · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author has an NPR radio show that features people over the age of 100. In this book the author interviews centenarians about their lives. At times she injects herself and her feelings into the stories, such as when she interviews a person with dementia and then states that she wishes she wouldnt have chosen them as they werent very helpful. I wondered why she just didnt leave them out of the story. I have worked with the elderly most of my life and I kept thinking I could have introduced her to some people that were more interesting than the people she chose, although the gay woman was someone I would have liked to have met. She was pretty interesting. At the end I was sad because most of the people she interviewed were gone before she even got the book published and now its been 17 years since the book came out so they would all be gone now.

[Chloé Mayer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit rambling, and interestingly more about the author’s experience than I’d have expected, but it’s quite moving. I cried; an intense reminder to be in touch with your aging family as life and circumstances permit.

[Val Gropp · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad I read this I've had it forever !I finally pulled it off the shelf and read it! Good heart reading..

[Samantha Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

will you remember me tonight?

[Ola · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think most people know to keep active physically, mentally and spiritually. For me, this book gave me some vivid pointers regarding 'why'. Being and staying positive is key.

[Martha Alami · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was actually difficult for me to give this book 3 stars, since to me it actually should be a 2 star rating. But I am giving the extra star to the centenarians who participated, for their time and graciousness to work with this author. I felt the author had an assignment and a deadline and was not very good at either. She kept apologizing for not interviewing properly, for not being prepared, for being too tired, for not asking the right questions and not getting the right information. So what was the point? There were only a couple of the centenarians who you felt like she spent any time interviewing and even their interviews were not developed well enough to give you any true insight into their full lives. In general, I felt this was a fabulous idea and assignment that was not well done by this author, I do not know much about the author except what she relates in the book and there is a lot more about her than about the centenarians!! If she could have written half as well about them as she did about herself, perhaps it would have been a good book. If you want an insightful view of what are probably some very wonderful individuals who have lived over a century, then I would NOT recommend this book.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like the author of this book, I always have assumed I would live to be 100. I didn't even have a word for it when I was younger. (I once, infamously now, thought 100-year-olds were centurians, not centenarians. Made sense to me.) This collection of interview stories is a companion to the NPR series and reveals, in nearly equal parts, as much about the interviewer as the 100+ year old people she interviews. Overall, I was delighted and saddened, as you might expect with these kinds of stories. I was also comforted by glimpsing a few centenarians who are still leading rich, full lives. It's a quick, easy read. My only complaint is exactly what Neenah (the interviewer and partner to NPR's Noah Adams) was frustrated with... because she had to work through her own stuff with this topic and population, she was not the most effective interviewer in the beginning. I admire her honesty and transparency about the process though. It was an interesting side story to the main tales. Many thanks to Jen for remembering my wish to live to 100 and sending me this sweet book for my birthday this year!

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ellis did an NPR series on the subject and wrote her book after it aired. The stories from the centenarians themselves were okay, but the writer's journey was more moving to me. What struck me the most was the research Ellis did on the connection she felt to her subjects. "I was feeling the emotional states of the centenarians, losing my own state and taking on theirs. And I am beginning to think that the centenarians know about this intuitively. They know how important the connection with others is, because it's harder for them to get it. They are often alone and understand that being cut off from other people is a death sentence ... And maybe they're better at it, too, because they grew up in a world without so much distraction, when people were more likely to talk to one another - at the dinner table, around the fire at night, riding together in a sleigh, or walking to school."
The stores in this book are very simple, really, but they, and Neenah Ellis, moved me quite a bit.

[Jane Snyder · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book could have been much better. Half the story was the author/ interviewer, commenting on the things she should have done, the questions she should have asked, ways she could have conducted her interviews more professionally.
How annoying... Why should I read something that the author herself knows is poorly done. Finally, I so totally agreed that I quit reading.

[Sandra Porter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written by Neenah Ellis, a correspondent for NPR, this book is a compilation pf some of the interviews she did with centenarians for a radio series in 2000.
Not quite what I expected, but not all bad. She talks about her process in interviewing and how it changed through the assignment. At first she was too rushed, too held by her list of questions. But finally she realized that going with the flow was the best path, and she spent more time with each interviewee.
Of course she was invigorated by those 100+ers who were still very active and vibrant. She didn't come away, from most of them, with those "words of wisdom" that she hoped for. But that doesn't mean that her time was misused. She learned that she needed to slow down and smell the roses, she needed to enjoy life in the motion, and that you need to love something or someone.
Anna Wilmont- 101- "Don't sit Get going. Move. have and incentive. Don't keep thinking, I'm old."
Harry Sharpio -100- "Art and music. Beyond that, it is to have a heart full of love."
Abraham Goldstein -101 - "You don't live in the past. You live in the present."
Margaret Rawson -100- "...we can learn at any age."
Ruth Ellis - 100 - "...take more interest in some older person." "I've spend a lot of time trying to be smart instead of trying to be good..." [BE GOOD TO PEOPLE]
Helen Boardman - 103 - "I'm an optimist." ""You have to accept it and move on."
Thomas Lewis - 100 - 80 years as an educator and was still working - "The thing that will mack you happy, nobody tells you."
Harry Boeff -100- "..if you don't have any enemies, you don't have anything to fear."

[Kathleen Helms · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read nearly half this book on a plane ride. I enjoyed reading the interviews by Ms. Neenah Ellis and will remember her advice when talking with older people. Do not to try to bang, bang, bang ask questions after question about current events, but rather just listen to what the older person interviewed is saying. Sit with him/her.

What also sticks with me from Dr. Thomas Lewis, who wrote "A General Theory of Love" who was interviewed by Neenah about limbic resonance: "About the only thing that makes people happy is spending time with people they are emotionally close with." (p. 189)

"In the United States, what people are happy? The people who are happy are a lot of blue collar families, a lot of families that are less than blue collar, the kind with strong family values, or whatever; they spend a lot of time together" (p. 189) "They don't have the most glamorous jobs or cards or homes, they're not going to be executive vice president or anything else, but they're having a decent life and they're happy. I actually think you can't have both. I believe you can't have happiness and be at the top of your fields or be the most accomplished person." (p. 189) "Dr. Lewis admits that most of his patients are striving baby boomers, blinded by their own ambition, unable to find happiness at even the highest levels of income and power. (p. 189) "Most of the centenarians I've met with agree with him. They haven't forgotten the importance of pure human, emotional contact the way many of us have, the way I often have." (p. 190)

[adorotheos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many people wonder about the secret to a long life. Jokes will be made about “drinking whiskey every day” and “smoking like a chimney,” while the more health conscious will place their bets on a good diet and regular exercise. Then there are those who claim that love alone can sustain a life until it crosses triple digits.

For each of Neenah Ellis’s interviewees, the answer to the question of what keeps them going is different. For some it is desire, for some adventure, for some duty, for some fear. For some, it is the plain reality that their body simply will not yet quit.

This book makes no effort to present a formula for a long and happy life; that is not its objective. Rather, Neenah guides us through the lives and wisdom of her hosts as she travels through their memories, from times and cultures that seem foreign to us now to the present day. We learn from their successes and their advice, and for some from their wounds and regrets.

Prior to reading this book, I had little to no interest in researching the lives of centenarians. Without it, I’d have never known their names. I am grateful to Ellis that she took the effort to jot this down. To honor the wisdom of people who almost seem to exist outside of time.

While the interviews are the focus of the book, it is written very much from Ellis’s personal perspective. Some may enjoy this, some may not. But the book holds true to its title as Ellis asks the question “What if I live to be 100? What can I learn from those who’ve gone before me?

I very much enjoyed this book and would recommend it to others.

[Cathryn Conroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a captivating book that will make you smile, laugh, and weep. Unfortunately, it is not what author Neenah Ellis says it will be when she explains her project in the introduction.

At the turn of the new millennium, Ellis created and produced "One Hundred Years of Stories" for NPR, which was one-on-one interviews with men and women across the United States who had celebrated their 100th birthday. Her initial intention was to quiz them about their pasts to discern a bit of living American history. But that didn't work out well, so she switched her purpose. Instead of focusing on the past, she decided to seek the answer to this question: What makes life worth living for so long? As near as I can tell, she failed at both. The book is too much about her and not enough about the centenarians.

That said, the interviews are fascinating to read and some are quite profound and moving. Unfortunately, far too much of the text is devoted to the author's logistics in setting up and conducting the interviews with people who are often deaf and sometimes suffering from dementia. I wish she had left out how tired she was after an interview, the condition of the beds in her various hotel rooms, and how she was frustrated with herself for not asking the right questions.

The result: The book loses its focus. And that's a shame because there is real wisdom and wit and delight in these pages even if we never really find out what makes life worth living for so long.

[Cindy (BKind2Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up to 4

I liked this, but the book was different than I expected. It was divided into chapters and covered the interviews of a series of centenarians by the author for an NPR series. In truth, the story was as much about the author and her interviews as the subjects and their lives. Over the course of the year, she becomes more adept at getting her subjects to open up and actually finds a psychological and physiological basis for this called limbic resonance. The interviews included in the book were vastly different and included a wide variety of these elderly folks from an African American gay woman to a white preacher in Texas looking for a woman to marry that could help him spread the gospel to an accomplished man now almost bedridden with a small apartment overlooking the San Francisco Bay. The stories were amazing - these are people that lived through history.

I just wished that the book had included photos of the centenarians - but noticed that there is a website to visit to see their photos and listen to the interviews. Sweet!

Quotes to remember:

The big thing in life is to share. Everything. Responsibilities as well as all of the good things.

You know what I think prolongs life?...Art and music. Beyond that, it is to have a heart full of love. That is the most important thing.

The chief joy of the future is that is stretches ahead filled with things to do together.

[Margaret Menkus · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I am approaching an age where this topic holds real meaning, I did not feel that I got a "course in living with lessons and inspirations for all of us." I WAS inspired by the stories of people who lived a long time, but not all stories provided insights on life with meaning. In fact, some were downright painful!

I know there are challenges in life, and I fully expect that people who live on this planet through multiple centuries encounter them. The first interviews were really about the difficulties of interviewing people with memory loss and depression (how do you get a story from that?). But, then we encountered Anna Wilmot, and it was a relief to discover that centenarians CAN live full lives! And we had the opportunity to re-encounter some individuals as Ellis returned for more insights.

As I finished this book, I reflected on my first seven decades around the sun and began thinking of how the next three decades may play out. I am an optimistic person that always 'assumes the best' in people and life, so I hold 'hope' closely to my dreams. Ellis' stories on aging were helpful, and I encourage others to read this book. But, understand that you have your own story and others can only point the way but you have to do the walk.

[Gerald Heath · Rating 3 out of 5]

"As I listened to their life stories, I realized that I was being given the chance to choose my own future, like Ebenezer Scrooge."

This book simply wasn't as good as I hoped it would be. Moving through the last third of my life, I was hoping to find more strategies for successful aging. Instead, I was reinforced in my belief that most folks don't age very successfully, but that those who do succeed through their own positive attitude. There were a few good messages in this book.

“You know what I think prolongs life?” Harry has said. “Art and music. Beyond that, it is to have a heart full of love. That is the most important thing.”

That night I begin to read Helen’s book. She says she has no idea why she lived so long, but on the last page, I think, is the answer: “The chief joy of the future,” she writes of her life with Bill, “is that it stretches ahead filled with things to do together.”

"About the only thing that makes people happy is spending time with people they are emotionally close with."

"My deepest fears rise up. Will I be alone and lonely when I am old?"

All in all, though, while not a terrible book, it wasn't worth the two to three hours I invested.

[Palatine Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is based off of stories told by centenarians. The author Neenah Ellis set out to find these centenarians and hear their own point of view of their life story. If I Live to Be 100 is not simply a transcript of the radio series, but about how the experience of meeting and talking with these amazing centenarians affected the author. Many of the people that Neenah met make a huge impact on her life just from their memories, tips for when you grow older and funny stories.

What I really enjoyed about this book is that the author did not focus on one main centenarian but many others. It is also amazing to read all about the centenarians' childhood memories and the hard times they went through. For example the dust storm, World War 2, and the San Francisco earthquake.

I would recommend this book to readers that need inspiration and to live your life to the fullest. (Isabelle Z)

[Lisa G · Rating 3 out of 5]

I decided to read this book because I found it when I was cleaning out my nightstand. Neenah Ellis presented this series on NPR but I haven't heard it. Now that I have read the book I would like to find these interviews and listen to them because I would like to hear the actual voices of the centenarians she interviewed. This really isn't my type of book because I like fiction, but I decided to try it just to have a little change. I liked it, but felt anxious at times to move on to another book. The stories of some of these 100 year olds were very interesting, others not so much. Ruth Ellis and R.L. Stamper are the kind of old that I would like to be some day! I recommend it if you want a change of pace, and really recommend it if you like listening to real stories about real people on public radio.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I could give it 3.5, I would, but felt 3 was closer than 4, as much as I wanted to like this book more. The premise was inspiring, the stories had potential, but the author's approach left something to be desired, and seemed to approach many of her subjects on such a superficial level, then tell their stories in a way that made it more about her than them. I was often left at the end of a chapter wanting more, or feeling like I had only been giving a glimpse of the person with whom the author spent an afternoon or longer. But, there were those glimmers of warmth and insight that shone through with several of her interactions, that made the book one worth finishing. Lessons on a life worth living are always worth noting, particularly when given as a gift from good friends!

[Kirstenszantor · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. I appreciate the difficulties the author had interviewing these 100+ years old people, the enormous effort it took to go all those places to speak to those people and the time she put in. But, most of the meetings ended the same way, a ho hum interview, a tired or agitated interviewee and a tired interviewer. The specialist she talks about who helped her understand limbic resonance was the most interesting thing in the book. But he also told her why she was failing and I am not sure she understood it because she didn’t seem to change her procedure. The subject of the interview must have limbic resonance with the interviewer and if he doesn’t then the stories will fall flat and unconnected.

[Massanutten Regional Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lisa, North River patron, June 2018, 5 stars:

The author interviewed a number of people who have reached the age of 100 or more. The stories told by these centenarians reflect the tremendous advances made in technology during their lifetimes but reflect the fact that most of their happy memories have little to do with such advancements; instead, the individuals being interviewed speak of the importance of family, friends, togetherness, art, music, and love. The book is inspiring and touching, and it provides many examples of centenarians who are healthy, happy, and generally independent.

[Tracey · Rating 2 out of 5]

e-audiobook (abridged) - nonfiction/conversations with extremely elderly, some of whom are still pretty sharp.

This book has more to do with the author's process, working through this project and adjusting her strategies and finding the best ways to get to know each person, and thinking about her own life. There are some remarkable people that she gets to talk to, but the "lessons" come from the author's processing of her experiences, rather than nuggets of wisdom spoken by the centenarians. It's interesting, but likely not what you are expecting.
At the end of the audio the NPR shows are included, so it's kind of neat to see what was broadcast after hearing about the actual interactions.

[Eileen Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving and timeless. This book, which came to me as a gift in honor of a big birthday and stemmed from a Y2K NPR series, I instantly connected to the author's writing style. It comes across as sincere and compassionate, where she relates to each centenarian by processing their words over car rides or walks, applying their message, intended or not, with her own experiences and what it may mean for her moving forward. Broken into chapters by interviewee, I savored this book, or tried to. It was easily consumed because her writing style is conversational and heartfelt. I rarely feel satisfied at the end of a book, but the way Neenah Ellis wraps this up, I was, am. Even rarer, I may reread it.