Bream Gives Me Hiccups

by Jesse Eisenberg

"Eisenberg is truly a talented writer. . . Hilarious and poignant."--Entertainment Weekly Bream Gives Me Hiccups: And Other Stories is the whip-smart fiction debut of Academy Award-nominated actor Jesse Eisenberg. Known for his iconic film roles but also for his regular pieces in the New Yorker and his two critically acclaimed plays, Eisenberg is an emerging literary voice.

Taking its title from a group of stories that begin the book, Bream Gives Me Hiccups moves from contemporary L.A. to the dorm rooms of an American college to ancient Pompeii, throwing the reader into a universe of social misfits, reimagined scenes from history, and ridiculous overreactions. In one piece, a tense email exchange between a young man and his girlfriend is taken over by his sister, who is obsessed with the Bosnian genocide (The situation reminds me of a little historical blip called the Karadordevo agreement); in another, a college freshman forced to live with a roommate is stunned when one of her ramen packets goes missing (she didn't have "one" of my ramens. She had a chicken ramen); in another piece, Alexander Graham Bell has teething problems with his invention (I've been calling Mabel all day, she doesn't pick up! Yes, of course I dialed the right number - 2!).

United by Eisenberg's gift for humor and character, and grouped into chapters that open with illustrations by award-winning cartoonist Jean Jullien, the witty pieces collected in Bream Gives Me Hiccups explore the various insanities of the modern world, and mark the arrival of a fantastically funny, self-ironic, and original voice.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Humor, Audiobook, Contemporary, Comedy, Adult Fiction

273 pages, Hardcover

Published September 8, 2015

About the author

Jesse Adam Eisenberg is an American actor, playwright, author, and humorist. He has played featured or starring roles in films such as The Squid and the Whale (2005), Adventureland (2009), Zombieland (2009), and The Social Network (2010).

Eisenberg was born in New York City and was raised in East Brunswick Township, New Jersey. After graduating from high school, he studied anthropology at The New School in Greenwich Village, New York City. He majored in liberal arts, with a concentration in Democracy and Cultural Pluralism.

Reviews

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

I’m not a big fan of short story collections and I’m REALLY not a fan of actors who think they are good at everything . . .



Right?

So how did I end up with Bream Gives Me Hiccups? Well, the answer is simple . . .



After finishing I can confirm collections still don’t really work for me and I struggle with what rating to give, so please take these 3 Stars with a grain of salt. The good news is I found the good stuff to be beyond good. But the bad? Some of them were pretty awful and could have been left on the editing room floor. It also didn’t help matters to come right out of the gate with hands-down the best story in the entire book. Let me tell you every other story pales in comparison to “Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year Old.” Here’s how I looked while attempting to dodge the feelings that one gave me . . .



Other 5 Star stories that deserve an honorable mention, if you will, include “My Mother Explains the Ballet to Me,” “My Roommate Stole My Ramen: Letters from a Frustrated Freshman,” “My Prescription Information Pamphlets as Written by My Father,” and “Marv Albert is my Therapist” . . .



The great news is, Jesse Eisenberg can indeed write. He delivers the poignant as well as the funny (sometimes simultaneously) and he always remembers Rule #2 . . .



ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!

[Lynx · Rating 4 out of 5]

I imagine Jesse Eisenberg does not suffer fools lightly as he certainly doesn't dumb down his writing for mass consumption. Very intelligently written with large doses of humour and heart, Eisenberg covers a lot of ground such as family, mental and social issues in these short pieces, never a dull moment and always leaving you wanting more. I was particularly impressed with Eisenberg's ability to capture the voice of a 9 year old dealing with divorce, rejection and confusion in his beautifully written first short.

That's why I'm giving Jesse Eisenberg 1500 out of 2000 stars.


*Thank you Grove Press and Netgalley for this review copy.

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jesse Eisenberg had my attention in the film "The Squid and the Whale"....(a favorite off-beat wonderful movie)
He was also brilliant as Mark Zuckerberg in "The Social Network".

Jesse Eisenberg's, first book of short stories, "Bream Gives Me Hiccups" are contemporary - modern -fresh- wonderful -hilarious -heartbreaking -brave-charming-emotionally rich-witty- and the perception about absurdity of the modern world we live in:
He touches on the subjects of:
...Families...divorce...college...eating...emailing...drinking...alcoholism...
friendships...class field trips...dating...sex...post gender...a character concerned with Bosnian Genocide...Bullies...drugs...yoga...dysfunctions...misfits...fitting in...self-help...sports...book clubs...(or not)...etc.

The 'title' story: "Bream Gives Me Hiccups". Its priceless!!! Its about a privileged 9 year old boy and his alcoholic mother. The mother goes out of her way to spend money which her ex-husband sends her. Their arrangement is that he will pay for anything which 'includes' her son. They dine at fancy ethnic restaurants every night.

Several of the stories are narrated by the nine year old boy...(these were my favorite stories) --yet I enjoyed the others also. The nine year old is a wonderful character -bright -precocious-sad-sweet-loveable.

In the story "TCBY", he brings his best friend Matthew. Its a sweet, sad, and wise story.

In "Ashram with Mom" --he goes on a week-end retreat with his mother. His mother says she needs some 'me' time. He's the only child at this retreat --with a clothing optional pool to boot! This story is sooo funny --you'll be you'll get a cramp from laughing so hard!

In "The Museum of Natural History and Making Compromises" ...He goes on class field trip to learn about dinosaurs. Kids are laughing --but he feels left out -uncomfortable. By the end of this story --its clear he learned more about making compromises than dinosaurs.

Many other of the stories are not about a nine year old boy:
...In one story A young man and young woman are e-mailing --they have fight --so the the older sister of the young man takes over e-mailing the girlfriend.
...In another story a guy on acid tries to pick up a woman.
...Another about frustrated freshman roommate
...and Many more!!!

A favorite quote:
"And I guess if someone is a terrible person like mom, they still can be special if you know them well".

TERRIFIC READ!!!!!

Thank you Grove Atlantic and Netgalley

[Becky · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was so disappointingly stupid.



I have seen exactly one Jesse Eisenberg movie (Zombieland, of course) and I thought it was funny. I know nothing else about the guy. I confuse him all the time with Andy Samberg and the short-shorts runner guy from Juno. (Michael Cera - I had to look it up.) Actually, I can't even say "all the time" because I don't really ever think about any of those guys, but you get the point. Maybe.

Anyway, I saw this book on sale for $1.95 on Audible, so I bought it. I thought, mistakenly, that it would be funny. That it would be a kind of memoir-in-stories book. That it would be good.



Wrong on all counts. This was terrible. Just terrible.

The first section is about a boy's relationship with his terrible mother. I thought that this is likely Jesse's actual experience, but now I have no idea - nor do I care. It read like an 8-year old's diary entries, if the 8 year old is intuitively perceptive beyond his years. It didn't work for me.

Go to restaurant X, hate it, hate that your mom hates it but is pretending to be super nice while really mocking it, then rate it 239 out of 2000 stars. (Because 2000 stars isn't random as hell.) Repeat several times.

Then there were other stories. All of them were terrible. Shitty, repetitive, comically-in-the-most-pathetic-way obvious as to what they are going for, and just lame.

The post-gender pick-ups were painful. The Letters from a Freshmen were just... fucking... awful. Then I just started skipping sections.

I listened to most of this, but I gave up after I got home and wasn't trapped in the car with it anymore.

Life is too short, man.

[Esil · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's often hard for me to rate short story collections because the stories are not always even, but I can easily rate Bream Gives Me Hiccups an enthusiastic and high 4 stars. None of these are short stories in the conventional sense. Rather, Eisenberg plays with narrative forms, through restaurant reviews, letters, dialogues, one way conversations, text messages, etc. -- some of them quite lengthy and others really only snippets. While this approach to story telling is playful and often clever, what makes these narratives worth reading to me is the humour and humanity he conveys. My two favourites were the longer pieces. The first title story got me hooked immediately. Ostensibly, a series of restaurant reviews written by a nine year old boy, Bream Gives Me Hiccups is really about the narrator's insight into life with his unhappy single mother -- it's cleverly funny and sad at the same time. My Roommate Stole my Ramen is written by a college freshman in the form of letters to a former high school teacher. Through her very self deluded letters, she bemoans her roommate, professors and fellow students -- again, simultaneously laugh out loud funny, sad and cringe making. Through these and other stories, Eisenberg comes across as astute, humorous and inventive. One could easily imagine some of these pieces forming the basis for very good stand up or spoken word routines. On a final note, as mentioned before on GR I am not usually a reader of short stories -- although have been reading more recently. I often feel that I want more from a short story than it's delivering. But these pieces only work as short stories -- they would be tedious if anything other than short -- it's their snappy cleverness that make them so good. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an opportunity to read an advance copy.

[Dianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and Grove Atlantic for an advance ereader copy of this book.

I am a BIG fan of Jesse Eisenberg and his offbeat movies (think "The Social Network" and "Zombieland"), so I was intrigued by the idea of him penning a book of short stories. Might it be random, odd, erudite and quirky? Oh, yeah!

I am not sure I would call this collection "short stories" per se. It's an assortment of dialogues in different formats – email exchanges, texts, conversations, letters, inner monologues and so on - grouped into loose "topic" areas (Family, History, Sports, Dating, Self Help, etc.) and sometimes told from differing points of view.

The first "story," one of my favorites, is "Bream Gives Me Hiccups." It's a series of restaurant reviews by 9 year old boy (so of course it includes TCBY, the Museum of Natural History and his school cafeteria), who uses the reviews as a vehicle to slowly disclose his sad situation at home. It’s alternately horrifying and hilarious. Some good nuggets in this one – “Mom took me around because she needed me. Because going through a hard life with someone else is better than going through an easy life alone.” Truth.

Some other gems are an email exchange between the narrator, his first girlfriend and his older sister which digresses into a discussion on Bosnian genocide; a series of prescription information pamphlets as written by his father (Drug – Ativan, In Case of Overdose – Drink several ounces of water, which comes out of the faucet and could also be used to wash dishes); Alexander Graham Bell’s first five phone calls (“Are you gonna hang up? No, you hang up first! No, you! Okay, we’ll do it at the same time!”); a series of letters from a seriously disturbed freshman college girl to her high school guidance counselor (I LOVED this one - how do you make someone with a narcissistic personality disorder funny? Read this – unless profanity upsets you); “Marv Albert is My Therapist” which has the narrator and Marv Albert in a therapy session with Marv Albert’s therapist responses taken entirely from his broadcast shtick (“Out of bounds! Unbelievable! Rejected! Unable to Penetrate! Stuffed!)…..and so much more. Some misses, but more hits than misses.

One problem – this was hard to read on a Kindle Touch. Apparently there are illustrations which I cannot see and one of the stories (“My Roommate Stole My Ramen: Letters from a Frustrated Freshman” – my favorite) is HEAVILY footnoted and is very difficult to read in this format.

Other than that – Mr. Eisenberg has definitely got potential and I LOVE his experimenting with different formats and voices. This felt really fresh and new.

A 3.5 for me. Rounding up to 4 for originality and wit.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from the published and Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. The one drawback is that the illustrations by Jean Jullien promised in the table of contents were not included in the PDF I received.

When I saw this anthology listed on Edelweiss, I was intrigued by the strange title. Even though I’ve only seen one of his movies (Now You See Me), it was the book’s description that made me request this one. As always, one hopes that a book actually lives up to the billing.

Eisenberg almost succeeded in meeting the hype. This book is composed of stories and anecdotes, many published previously in the New Yorker and McSweeney’s. These stories take on many different forms, from text messages, emails, and phone calls, to the mental self-doubt we all have at one time or another. From the touching story, “Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year Old”, in which a young boy reviews meals he has with his newly-divorced (and troubled) mother, to an email conversation between a couple that gets hijacked by a scholar of the Bosnian genocide, many of these stories are very good.

In addition to the two already mentioned, my favorites are, “My Prescription Information Pamphlets as Written by My Father”; “Carmelo Anthony and I Debrief Our Friends after a Pickup Game at the YMCA”; “If She Ran Into Me Now”, in which a man is waiting for a glimpse of an ex-girlfriend; and “Marv Albert is My Therapist”. The stories I didn’t like at all was “My Roommate Stole My Ramen”, which was very disturbing in a depressing, losing-touch-with-reality sort of way, and "A Marriage Counselor Tries To Heckle at a Knicks Game".

Overall, this was a fun read, and I look forward to reading more of his books and short stories.

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 4 out of 5]

How dare Jesse Eisenberg be a great writer as well??

To call this a book is wrong. This is a series of monologues. Oh sure, they're letters, reviews, and emails but in reality, every thing here could easily be brought to the stage as a monologue and be brilliant. As a director (can I refer to myself as a director despite taking a 4 year hiatus?), I read this and found myself itching to bring it to the stage, where it definitely belongs.

I've been missing theater lately. I'm hoping this semester to find an improv group because I definitely need a space where I can just do random things with other people who are doing random things. Reading this book reminded me of how comedic timing works and how you can see the theater influence in every single part.

I have to say, I'm impressed that there isn't really a weak part. My favorites were the 9 year old reviews, the letters from a freshman, the part of being fluent in languages (man, one day, I'm gonna know enough Aramaic), and the bar monologues but seriously, everything was well written.

If you're looking for short bits that are funny, smart and pretty deep, this is the right book for you. Also, if you're auditioning for stuff, I would totally take some parts from here and use them as a monologue if it's a comedy.

What I'm Taking With Me
- I've got to read Jesse Eisenberg's plays, I bet they're fantastic.
- There is something so Jewish about this entire collection, like everyone is kind of neurotic and it seems like everything is about to fall apart but ultimately, these people do remember themselves and the light in things.
- I could totally write an essay about how Harper grows up and becomes the mom from the reviews.

Uni Adventures (only without uni because our semester has been delayed)
- I wrote a paper where I said that economists can't be trusted without ethics and that obesity in the united states is because of all of the unethical economists. I think this is exactly what our professor was hoping to see.

- Our prime minister gave a speech about coronavirus but the most memorable part of it was when he accidentally made a very terrible Holocaust joke.

- I drank way more than I usually do (cause hey, it's Purim! Just living up my Jewish obligations) and man, after months of not going out, it was so much fun, I forgot that that's a thing I can do.  

- I've been saying for actual months that the unity of the leftist parties won't work because one of those parties isn't truly a leftist and well, now, after the elections, this party has decided to go back to the right in one of the more nastier moves seen in Israeli politics in ages. 

- Or, in the words of a girl I met at a party, "the Israeli left lost, the Israeli democracy lost, but you, as an individual, won." I am so incredibly smug and yeah okay, I texted all of my leftist friends with, "see! I knew it! No one listened to me and now we're doomed!" 

- I have a paper to write and every time I try, I manage to work for about 10 minutes before I just want to sleep, send help. 

[Larry H · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd rate this 4.5 stars.

Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

I tend to be dubious when I come across a book written by an actor. It's not that every actor is a bad writer; in fact, I've read some well-written books authored by actors, such as Ethan Hawke, Meg Tilly, and Lauren Graham. But of course, for every actor deserving of a book deal, there are many whose books are published only on the strength of their name and not any display of writing skill. (Cough, James Franco, cough.)

When I saw a friend had raved about Jesse Eisenberg's collection of stories, Bream Gives Me Hiccups , I was definitely intrigued. I'm a big fan of his acting and hoped that his wry, sarcastic sense of humor I've seen displayed in interviews would shine through. I also hoped that a book being touted as hysterically funny actually lived up to that billing.

I'm pleased to say Eisenberg succeeded on both fronts. This book is composed of a number of stories and humorous anecdotes which take different forms—text messages, email conversations, letters, conversations—and many made me laugh out loud. From the hilarious and touching title story, in which a nine-year-old boy reviews meals he has in different locations, many with his troubled mother, to an email conversation between a dating couple which gets hijacked by his sister, who is a scholar of the Bosnian genocide, some of these stories are laugh-out-loud funny and many others make you chuckle and shake your head at Eisenberg's ingenuity. And more than a few times, I could hear his voice coming through the narration, which added an extra layer of depth and humor.

In addition to the two stories I mentioned above, some of my favorites in this collection included (and many of the titles say all that needs to be said about the stories themselves): "My Prescription Information Pamphlets as Written by My Father"; "Carmelo Anthony and I Debrief Our Friends after a Pickup Game at the YMCA"; "If She Ran Into Me Now," in which a man is waiting for a glimpse of an ex-girlfriend; and "A Bully Does His Research," which I found perhaps a little too short.

Not every story works; there are times when Eisenberg goes for one more laugh where he could have held back, and times when the stories are more one-liner than plot, but even those are enjoyable in their own way. This was a quick, fun read, and I look forward to not only seeing more of his movies (he's playing Lex Luthor, y'all), but reading more of his books in the future. Perhaps he can pave the way for more actors with writing talent being published instead of those without it.

See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....

[Ginger · Rating 1 out of 5]

After I started reading I decided to look at a few of my friend's reviews because




I think I was trying to take it too 'seriously'(?)
Or something. Does it get better? What the hell is going on here?

Once I get the 9 year old wondering about BJ's.
Yeah. First page.


I did read each of his reviews of various eateries. The ratings were based on how many stars out of 2,000....

And texts between 'Me' and 'My sister'.
Which was kind of cute.

A really odd schedule for 'Separation Anxiety Sleep away Camp'

'My Mother Explains the Ballet to Me' just became very awkward.

The Email Exchange between his sister and his first girlfriend made my brain melty.


The Prescription Information Pamphlets as written by My Father made me smile a little bit.
Kinda

My Nephew has Some Questions reminded me too much of my own life with a 9 year old


Part III
I mostly skimmed all of it. I wont lie.

My Roommate Stole My Ramen Letters from a Frustrated Freshman
made me feel staby and irritated. Harper needs to disappear from the face of the earth. Probably brought about when men in white suits fit her for her own jacket and take her away. I read three letters the skipped the rest in disgust. It wasn't funny. It was just annoying.
It was also made even worse because Harper has recently learned about the *magic* of footnotes and the formatting on my kindle did not translate. So yea. Footnotes all over the place. Jumbled mess.

Part V
Another skip fest. I couldn't subject myself to a writer trying really hard to be funny writing about people trying really hard to pick up a date. I guess it was just too redundant.

Part VI
Sports
Yeah.
I don't do sports so sport jokes using 'well known' sports like people go over my head.



Smiling Trick your Brain into Thinking It's Happy
Was disturbing and kinda funny. Kind of. But more disturbing than anything else.

If She Knew Me Now was just painful. I forced myself to read it but I wont ever get those moments back.

A Bully Does His Research
and
A Short Story Written with Thought-to-Text Technology
were kind of clever.

I completely skipped the 'book review' thing in between those two. Yeah. It was that riveting.

My Spam Plays Hard to Get
and
Manageable Tongue Twisters
were the only two sections I liked at the end. There was some other stuff. But yeah



I hate to give Eisenberg the one star treatment but I wouldn't really recommend this to anyone.

Thanks Netgally for providing this book. I have provided an honest review.
Now I need to go read something else right now.

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

you know that twitter account about that guy in your MFA program or whatever? this book is literally exactly that.

[Randee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of short stories came very close to getting 5 stars from me. A good 75% of the stories are hysterical in a dry, acerbic, black humor type of way. I've seen Eisenberg in films, of course, but the few times I've seen him on talk shows is where he impressed me with his intelligence and sense of humor. I had a feeling I might like his book and I was very curious to see his ideas and writing style. I wasn't really all that surprised that it is this good. His stories seem effortless in the way that he is writing for himself and his own offbeat sense of humor as opposed to trying to impress anyone and that made me like him more. I'm not particularly surprised that the GR rating isn't higher. I suspect many who read this do not have a good sense of humor or did not even 'get it.' It also helps to have a strong sense of silly.

[Rashika (is tired) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bream Gives me Hiccups is like most story collections in that there will always be some stories that won’t work for you and some that will. But one of my major issues with this book is that I cannot pinpoint what connects these stories together. Sure they have many things in common but I cannot find something that sticks out to me and makes me go “OMG, WOW, I LOVE THIS.” I think that if the web that connected the stories were more obvious to me, I would have enjoyed the collection a whole lot more.

That said I had a lot of fun reading Bream Gives me Hiccups. At times, it was just laugh out loud funny and sometimes really bizarre but still addicting and hard to put down. I enjoyed being in the minds of many of Eisenberg’s characters (even when they made me cringe.) Also the fact that these stories are told in the form of jokes, diary entries, reviews and more really made them interesting to read.

There were some stories that didn’t work for me though just because the characters made me uncomfortable and in two of the stories, I felt as though something I believe in was being mocked. Sometimes Eisenberg seemed to be walking (or rather writing) between this thin line where I wasn’t sure whether he was trying to point out issues or just mock them and I’d just come out feeling very awkward and uncomfortable.

But maybe that’s just me and not the book.

Either way, I’d say that this book is a fun way to pass the time and won’t fail to crack you up, even if you struggle to find something that draws the stories together to make them meaningful.

Note that I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

I'm not a superfan of Jesse Eisenberg, but I was interested to see how he wrote after trying out James Franco, who I was not thrilled with as a writer. I think Jesse is a better writer, but half of these "short stories" are really more like scripts, only sometimes presented as text messages. Really, aren't text message conversations the same as scripts? It makes sense he thinks this way but I would have liked more stories better fleshed out than pure conversation.

My favorite story is the first one, "Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year Old." It has a perfect combination of child perspective with the information going on that the child doesn't understand. Similar with the mother-son dynamic and equally enjoyable is "My Mother Explains the Ballet to Me."

It's funny because I can hear some of these in Eisenberg's voice, the types of characters he usually plays, spouting off big words and trying to sound smart. I don't know if he means them ironically or seriously, but it works either way- "A Post-Gender-Normative Man Tries to Pick Up a Woman at a Bar," etc.

The stories I liked I thought showed a lot of promise. There were only a handful in this collection that fit that category, but I would read his next book.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just loved this book. I think Jesse is just an amazing actor and I could listen to his voice forever. He seems so charming and thoughtful. This book is one of the funniest, most thought provoking book I have well, listened to in a long time. Yes I audiobooked it and I totally suggest it because of his voice. Mesmerizing.

[Lisa Bentley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, I admit that I only wanted to read this book to see what Jesse Eisenberg had to bring to the literary table. I had read other books by actors before and been really disappointed and so I was prepared to go off with a smug face and say “Oh, Bream Gives Me Hiccups is awful. Jesse Eisenberg should just stick to what he knows” but I got my eye wiped. Bream Gives Me Hiccups is a damn fine piece of writing.

The collection of short stories varies from the sad to the weird to the downright scary. It is a cornucopia of understanding of modern society and everyday life. Issues of divorce, bitterness, stalking, social media, dating etc are dealt with in really funny and unique ways.

My favourite story from the collection is Nick Garret’s Review of Rachel Lowenstein’s New Book, Getting Away in which a book reviewer is critiquing a feminist piece which we are lead to assume is written by the reviewers ex (although it never explicitly says this); it is a scathing attack on a scathing attack. It is clever and funny.

Please do not judge this book by its author. I did and I was wrong. I apologise Jesse Eisenberg

Bream Gives Me Hiccups & Other Stories by Jesse Eisenberg is available now.

[Belen (f.k.a. La Mala ✌) · Rating 4 out of 5]

REVIEW TO COME

4

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EDIT: YES! NetGalley approved my request! I'll be starting this tonight :D

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“This isn’t a James Franco situation where he’s trying to pass off his snapchats as performance art. Eisenberg is truly a talented writer. . . Hilarious and poignant.”—Entertainment Weekly

Ja! Eso me convenció totalmente para decidir leer este libro XD (Spoiler Alert: James Franco sucks)

[Joy (joyous reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have this prejudice against celebrities who writes novels. Especially pop stars and reality tv stars. There have been a few books that I simply laugh at whenever I see them in the bookstore (see: Kendall and Kylie Jenner’s YA book). I have this urge to shake the publishers who were intent on destroying the industry by signing these “so-called writers”. Who the heck do you think you’re kidding? Your blatant money-grabbing stint is what’s going to ruin us all. Ugh. But that’s another can of worms for another day.

Not all celebrities are poseurs, though. I can name a few who are writers in their right: Steve Martin, Woody Allen, and James Franco even. Jesse Eisenberg is one that I consider to be a multi-talented actor whom I didn’t know also writes on the side (mostly screenplays). The good news is, he knows a thing or two about writing.

Bream Gives Me Hiccups is a collection of short stories written in the most varied and quirky perspectives. Some of them funny, some of them not-so. The stories are not connected; one has nothing to do with the other, but he manages to give each story its own life.

The first story is about a nine-year-old food reviewer who is dealing with life as he lives it with his divorced mother and how she copes with being a single parent (lots of alcohol and frivolous dining experience all on her ex’s dime, apparently.). He writes dining reviews; most of which depends not on culinary merits (he’s 9 after all), but on how it correlates with his day to day life. Hidden behind the humour is a heart-tugging realization that the reader sees how this boy cope with his broken home.

There are 28 short stories in total; stories that are funny, engaging, whip-smart, quirky and bizarre. Eisenberg knows how to manipulate the readers into going along with his antics. He also has the uncanny ability to write interesting dialogues that makes for an easy read. But throughout the narrative, you can’t help but hear Jesse’s voice.

There really is not much to say about this collection other than I hope he’ll consider writing a full length novel in the future.

[Kathrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I HAD A WHOLE DAY TO READ ANYTHING I WANT!
There is nothing finer than to pick up a book and read, just for the sheer pleasure of escape. While I love being a student and a teacher, it's nice to just be a reader once in a while. This euphoric feeling was pushing me to rate this book with five stars, but I have gained some perspective since I turned the last page, and I will do my best to remain objective:
Read this book if only for the first series of "restaurant reviews from a privileged nine-year-old." In his acknowledgements, Eisenberg thanks Chris Monks at McSweeney's for encouraging him to "not make every story about a nine-year-old boy harrowing," and that must thus translate to, "make maybe one of the stories less harrowing." "Harrowing" is a really superb word for what I was feeling in these stories -- funny-sad with a strange pull in the depths of my chest cavity.
I also really liked "My Roommate Stole My Ramen." It's fun to dislike a character so much, point to exactly why, and feel good about how insightful I am. (But it was really Eisenberg that did all the work.) I couldn't help it, I started thinking about how to use this story in my classroom, since Harper is such a great illustration of misunderstanding empathy.
Other stories in the collection are in varying stages of clever, mostly amusing and some rather thought-provoking. Worth a one-day reading holiday!

[Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 4.5/5 STARS

My collaborative review with H can be seen at http://knightingalereviews.blogspot.c...

[Ryan Holdbrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

complete page turner. the stories about the sister texting to fix her younger brothers relationship (taking bosnian genocide courses in Uni) made me shoot coffee out of my nose. well crafted characters, and for a book of short stories, I found the whole thing very well put together. would have given it 5 stars , but I'm rooting for him to be ambitious enough to want to write another collection VERY SOON .

[Cat · Rating 2 out of 5]

if this wasn't 90% hipster crap, it could have been a really good book
full review here: https://catshelf.wordpress.com/2015/0...

[新新 Xin-Xin · Rating 3 out of 5]

還是不太能接受簡中譯本，但好像也沒愛到非得找英文版來看

[Thomas Chapple · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hot damn Jesse can write some funny short stories.

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bream Gives Me Hiccups
Rating: 4.5/5
This is a dual review between B and H.

"Everyone’s a geek in some way or other. Everyone’s an outsider.”
~Jesse Eisenberg

This book was an ingenious combination of satire, hilarity, and life lessons. From the viewpoint of an innocent nine-year-old to that of a mad man obsessed with killing his ex-fiancé, this widely amusing and attention-grabbing book has everything any person with a sense of humor could ask for. Jesse Eisenberg successfully makes any circumstance that would normally be completely and utterly embarrassing or mortifying into the type of situation that anyone can laugh at, regardless of where you are at in life.

While my sister and I were reading this book, we both found different parts to be our favorites. My favorite was the first story Bream Gives Me Hiccups Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old. The child in this story has such depth to his thoughts that one would assume he was much older than only nine. It was very easy to believe that this is how children think. The little boy saw both the ups and downs of life and accepted them as truth, all while looking beyond for something more, something lurking just below the surface of life itself. This story is an example of how Eisenberg is not only a gifted comedic presence, but also someone who has the talent to go beyond laughs and really make a person question both themselves and the world around them. To put it more simply, he is a touching writer who implements heart, laughing the whole way. Not to mention, Eisenberg is a very relatable author, appearing to have lived through at least a handful of the experiences written about in his book. I also found My Roommate Stole My Ramen Letters from a Frustrated Freshman to be very amusing, given the fact that I had a roommate similar to the one the main character writes about (of course without the nickname and the craziness of the girl writing the letters but still, I found that part to be very relevant to my own life).

My sister’s favorite story was Separation Anxiety Sleepaway Camp because of the confusion surrounding the story that finally made sense in the last portion, causing her to go back and reread it four more times (even our mother found it drop-dead hilarious). Trust me, this is one that you need to read, especially when you are having a bad day. Two other favorites were My Little Sister Texts Me with Her Problems and My Nephew Has Some Questions. Both of these stories are ones that can be revisited several times, without the laughs ever ending.

What really makes this book diverse is the different mediums used by Eisenberg. Not only is it written in short story format, but also in text form, which allows for an almost play-write feel. Plus, the footnotes were awesome (a little frustrating to read, but it only added to the amusement we felt during that particular story). Not only is Eisenberg a great actor who we both love to watch, but he has proven himself to be more than that. Admittedly we were hesitant to read this book, but we can proudly say that Jesse Eisenberg has seriously proven us wrong and for that we are grateful. If you have not seen any of his movies or did not even know he was an actor (shame on you! ☺), you will definitely be a fan by the end of Bream Gives Me Hiccups.

Please note that H received a free ARC of this book from the publisher, Grove Press, an imprint of Grove Atlantic, in exchange for an honest review. All of our opinions are our own and were in no way influenced.

You can see reviews like this one and more at http://knightingalereviews.blogspot.com/.

[Stefani Sloma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t know about you, but anytime I see that an actor or musician or whatever has written a book, I’m pretty skeptical. I’ve read a lot of books by “famous” people that really should’ve stayed on that person’s computer. But I loved Jesse Eisenberg in Zombieland, Adventureland, and Now You See Me, and I researched him a bit and saw that he’s actually a playwright as well as an actor. So he had me intrigued, as did the summary of Bream Gives Me Hiccups. I thought, “Why not? I’m probably not going to get approved for this one anyway.” And then I did. And then I read the book. And now I need more from Jesse Eisenberg.

Okay, no, it’s not the greatest short story collection I’ve ever read, but I’m seriously impressed with Jesse Eisenberg’s writing ability. He’s obviously talented, and his stories are intelligent, funny, and well-written. I updated my Goodreads status after almost every story with my immediate and initial thoughts upon finishing each one.

Bream Gives Me Hiccups updates

Note that I used words like “hilarious” with almost every single update. My absolute favorite story was the very first one, “Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old”. It was dry, emotional, and got me so pumped to read the rest of the collection. I do think they did a bit of a disservice by beginning the collection with what is obviously the strongest story, but I don’t even care. I loved this one.

Another favorite was “If I Was Fluent In…” I literally laughed out loud SO hard and loudly that a patron at the library asked me if I was okay. HA! (Not a spoiler, but if you do read, watch out for the Indian section of this story – LOL!) When I read short story collections, I tend to read a story here and there but not straight through. NOT with this one! I didn’t want to stop.

The bottom line: I’ve got to mention that there were a few stories that I honestly wouldn’t have missed had they not been included, but overall, Eisenberg’s collection is seriously funny, honest, intelligent, and engrossing. He’s obviously talented, and I’m looking forward to what’s next from him.

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've admired Jesse Eisenberg's acting for a long time, and with this collection I'm beginning to understand why. He has an uncanny ear for the way people sound and think and move, whether they're outraged college freshmen or divorced mothers of one. It's not mimicry, exactly. It's kinder, and yet more piercing, than that.

It's rare to find humor writing that addresses the usual vulnerabilities (love, selfishness, neuroses) in an unusual way. Sometimes it feels like there are only so many jokes. Eisenberg's work relies on the sheer absurdity of its situations instead, with a kind of deadpan glee that is impossible not to like. It's morbid and sweet, a little tragic and always very funny.

Case in point: the title piece, a collection of restaurant reviews "from a privileged nine-year-old." Its concept is a joke, but its execution results in something weirdly moving, a kind of elegy for a very singular childhood. "Sometimes, when Matthew and I are just sitting with each other quietly, I like him the most," the narrator says of his best friend at one point. I know the feeling, kid, I know the feeling - that's what reading this book is like. And that's why I'm giving Bream Gives Me Hiccups 1900 out of 2000 stars.

[Faith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection of short stories started out well, but then got spottier as it progressed. I liked part one, consisting of restaurant reviews by a 9 year old boy. He was amazingly perceptive about relationships. I also liked all of the stories in the next two sections of the book - Family and History. There is a particularly funny email exchange between a couple, which is hijacked by the boy's sister discussing the Bosnian conflict.

Then the book hit a low point for me, with a section about one of the more obnoxious college freshmen in history. There were some amusing bits, but she was just too over-the-top self involved for me. After that, it was very hit-or-miss. There were some stories that made me laugh out loud on the bus and other stories (like My Spam Plays Hard to Get) which I found unbearable.

The author is obviously intelligent, and wants you to know it. He also shows a lot of potential. I'd be interested in reading more from him. Perhaps a longer, more focused piece that doesn't just blurt out every thought he has.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher.

[trish! · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was a ride LOL

I definitely really liked this book - one of the main reasons i admire jesse eisenberg is for his sense of humour - it’s satirical, dry, intellectual and just very sarcastic, and it’s humour I am not immune to. this book very much delivers that humour - u either love it or hate it, and obvs I loved it.

it’s so interesting, the types of stories he puts together - food reviews from a 9 year old, late night emails from a college girl to her high school counsellor, post gender normative man trying to pick up a woman at the bar, and of course marxist-socialist jokes.

I read this entire book in his voice and it made it so much more enjoyable because the way he usually delivers jokes + sarcasm is so hilarious (usually with a straight face and monotone voice)

Some parts were DEFINITELY problematic but if it’s satire then… he’s making a point… right?

[Dan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection consists of 30 "stories." Short humor pieces.

Here's how to enjoy it: Read one or two or three of the pieces. Then put the book aside. Wait as long as it takes for you to forget what the stories were like. Then read a few more. Repeat.

This way, you will enjoy the offbeat humor of each individual story, without coming to recognize how redundant the shtick is from piece to piece to piece.

The humor is this: Irony based on verbosity and personal sharing that are excessive for the circumstances, and the joke of protagonists who refuse to acknowledge how messed up they are.

Very well done; very funny... one story at a time. Really really tiresome by the time you've reached story 30.