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The Social Success Workbook for Teens: Skill-building Activities for Teens With Nonverbal Learning Disorder, Asperger's Disorder, and Other Social-skill Problems
In this title two therapists who specialize in treating kids with social skills problems give teens the tools they need to make friends, read nonverbal cues, and learn the 'unwritten rules' of behaviour that govern social interactions.
136 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2008
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April 14, 2020
I am a masters level counselor and autism is one of my specialties, professionally and personally. Let me start by saying that this book does not come from a neurodiverse affirming perspective. Studies show that both autistic and neurotypical people have strengths and weaknesses with communication and neutotypical people share the blame with autistic ones in their communication (or miscommunications) with each other, but since there are more neurotypical people, the burden is solely on autistic people to adapt and change. This burden is oppressive, leads to masking, and masking takes a tremendous mental toll on autistic people. This book basically teaches an autistic person how to mask and even has a part about making better eye contact and wearing more fashionable clothes, among other things. Basically while an autistic person may fit in better after going through this book, it would be at a tremendous emotional cost that would burn them out down the road.
The example of the girl who was excited about seeing a movie with two of her friends at the end of the week and was disappointed when her friends no longer wanted to see the movie is a good example. It didn't matter that she was really excited about the activity and had been anticipating it for a whole week and that changes in schedule also produce a lot of anxiety for autistic people. What mattered was that she was being inflexible and not following majority rules. The authors did not even suggest this could have been one of those situations where everyone has a point and that maybe her friends could have taken into account the fact that their friend has a disability and has to accommodate neurotypical people every day. Or that when dealing with someone who is autistic it is important to acknowledge that their feelings and perspectives are valid and that she had good reasons to be upset over the change in plan. The autistic girl was wrong for being inflexible and not following social conventions and, according to the authors, the burden was solely on her to change. This is wrong and this is damaging to autistics.
I was also angered at an example involving a boy reading comics at a store, who is minding his own business, who ends up getting bullied. There was a section where you're supposed to write about what he could have done differently to avoid being bullied. Let me be clear, this is victim blaming and including it was inexcusable.
There were a few exercises regarding controlling anxiety I liked, but overall it barely touched on things I was interested in, such as how to tell if someone is a good friend or not, how to initiate conversations, and how to find people to be friends with. I do not recommend.
The example of the girl who was excited about seeing a movie with two of her friends at the end of the week and was disappointed when her friends no longer wanted to see the movie is a good example. It didn't matter that she was really excited about the activity and had been anticipating it for a whole week and that changes in schedule also produce a lot of anxiety for autistic people. What mattered was that she was being inflexible and not following majority rules. The authors did not even suggest this could have been one of those situations where everyone has a point and that maybe her friends could have taken into account the fact that their friend has a disability and has to accommodate neurotypical people every day. Or that when dealing with someone who is autistic it is important to acknowledge that their feelings and perspectives are valid and that she had good reasons to be upset over the change in plan. The autistic girl was wrong for being inflexible and not following social conventions and, according to the authors, the burden was solely on her to change. This is wrong and this is damaging to autistics.
I was also angered at an example involving a boy reading comics at a store, who is minding his own business, who ends up getting bullied. There was a section where you're supposed to write about what he could have done differently to avoid being bullied. Let me be clear, this is victim blaming and including it was inexcusable.
There were a few exercises regarding controlling anxiety I liked, but overall it barely touched on things I was interested in, such as how to tell if someone is a good friend or not, how to initiate conversations, and how to find people to be friends with. I do not recommend.
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