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The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook
Welcome to the We Do Not Care where the bras are optional, the chin hairs are thriving, and the menopause meltdown is mutual.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
Welcome to the We Do Not Care Club: where the bras are optional, the chin hairs are thriving, and the menopause meltdown is mutual.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
If you wish everyone would leave you alone, no longer care about bras that fit, clothes with buttons (elastic forever, baby), or cellulite anywhere then welcome to the We Do Not Care (WDNC) Club. You're now a card-carrying member with an exclusive invite to the biggest hormonal party in town.
This Club is for anyone in perimenopause and menopause who are over it. Here is a list* of things We Do Not Care about:
Shaved legs.
Half-painted big toenails.
Unplucked chin hair.
Wearing the same bra all week. Or wearing bra – full stop.
Wearing PJs all day. At least we have something on.
Being on time. Be happy that I showed up.
People who think we have a sh*tty attitude. That's on them.
Cancelled plans. We didn't want to go anywhere anyway.
What's for dinner. If you're hungry, do something about it yourself.
If you're cold – don't even think about touching the air conditioning.
Melani Sanders, Founding Member of the We Do Not Care Club, is here to tell you that it's ok – in fact welcomed – not to care. You're not alone. We are all in the same boat, just out here trying to survive.
This book is your life raft, girls. Let's hold on for dear life – and get through this together.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
Welcome to the We Do Not Care Club: where the bras are optional, the chin hairs are thriving, and the menopause meltdown is mutual.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, furious at anything breathing (including yourself), wondering how you’re going to get through the next day without losing it at your kids/partner/co-workers?
If you wish everyone would leave you alone, no longer care about bras that fit, clothes with buttons (elastic forever, baby), or cellulite anywhere then welcome to the We Do Not Care (WDNC) Club. You're now a card-carrying member with an exclusive invite to the biggest hormonal party in town.
This Club is for anyone in perimenopause and menopause who are over it. Here is a list* of things We Do Not Care about:
Shaved legs.
Half-painted big toenails.
Unplucked chin hair.
Wearing the same bra all week. Or wearing bra – full stop.
Wearing PJs all day. At least we have something on.
Being on time. Be happy that I showed up.
People who think we have a sh*tty attitude. That's on them.
Cancelled plans. We didn't want to go anywhere anyway.
What's for dinner. If you're hungry, do something about it yourself.
If you're cold – don't even think about touching the air conditioning.
Melani Sanders, Founding Member of the We Do Not Care Club, is here to tell you that it's ok – in fact welcomed – not to care. You're not alone. We are all in the same boat, just out here trying to survive.
This book is your life raft, girls. Let's hold on for dear life – and get through this together.
256 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 13, 2026
678 people are currently reading
7225 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 169 reviews
December 5, 2025
As many others who will be moved to read this book, I joined the We Do Not Care Club after seeing Melani's tiktoks... and they have brought me so many laughs. Even more than that, they have brought me comfort and understanding - it is so nice to know that other women out there are experiencing the same thing and they GET IT. Perimenopause is not for the weak.
This handbook was light-hearted and fun to read. I never tire of hearing different examples of the things we just do not care about anymore. More than that, there were other nuggets of wisdom and examples of amazing women who accomplished so much while experiencing the same things we are today. I will echo other reviews and say that ebook is not the best format for this - definitely recommend a physical book or even audio.
A sincere thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow/Harvest for the opportunity to read an early copy.
This handbook was light-hearted and fun to read. I never tire of hearing different examples of the things we just do not care about anymore. More than that, there were other nuggets of wisdom and examples of amazing women who accomplished so much while experiencing the same things we are today. I will echo other reviews and say that ebook is not the best format for this - definitely recommend a physical book or even audio.
A sincere thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow/Harvest for the opportunity to read an early copy.
February 15, 2026
I didn't love this one, but I didn't hate it either.
If you're picking this one up expecting it to be as hilarious as her Instagram reels, you'll be disappointed. This book is about 25% funny stuff, 75% informative/encouragement.
If you're a middle-aged woman experiencing perimenopause or menopause, you'll likely find this book very relatable. Just know, she goes there. She talks about reproductive organs, body parts, intimacy, and everything in between. Nothing was necessarily inappropriate, but a teenager would probably find it horrifying. One day, when they are middle aged, they'll understand though. lol
There is blunt talk and quite a bit more foul language than I was hoping for, but it was a short and easy read. Melani writes in a way very similar to her social media posts. You will feel seen, heard, understood, and not alone anymore.
If you're picking this one up expecting it to be as hilarious as her Instagram reels, you'll be disappointed. This book is about 25% funny stuff, 75% informative/encouragement.
If you're a middle-aged woman experiencing perimenopause or menopause, you'll likely find this book very relatable. Just know, she goes there. She talks about reproductive organs, body parts, intimacy, and everything in between. Nothing was necessarily inappropriate, but a teenager would probably find it horrifying. One day, when they are middle aged, they'll understand though. lol
There is blunt talk and quite a bit more foul language than I was hoping for, but it was a short and easy read. Melani writes in a way very similar to her social media posts. You will feel seen, heard, understood, and not alone anymore.
February 27, 2026
Turns out I do care and I hated this book.
January 19, 2026
We Do Not Care! Melani Sanders is on point with this book. I am a new fan. I will definitely watch the TikTok videos. I felt seen and heard while reading. Finally, some people understand what I have been going through since I was 26. We have similar stories. My journey to menopause also began surgically. The announcements at the beginning of each chapter were so relatable. Plus, I loved the advice from WDNC members around the world. I was pleased to find that there is a chapter of WDNC members in my state. Just the mention of perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause is taboo to some. Melani did her research when she wrote this. I learned a lot of things I didn't know humorously. I love this book. I hope she writes more.
March 21, 2026
I took my time reading this book. I read it in spells on evenings when I needed to be reminded that I’m not alone in this perimenopause phase of life.
Thank you Melani for affirming so much of what I feel & helping women be more comfortable with talking about perimenopause, menopause & post menopause. Your humor makes us laugh at ourselves as your thoughts are often our thoughts. We Do Not Care club members…we will survive & we will be ok. 💪 After all…we simply do not care anymore! 😂
Thank you Melani for affirming so much of what I feel & helping women be more comfortable with talking about perimenopause, menopause & post menopause. Your humor makes us laugh at ourselves as your thoughts are often our thoughts. We Do Not Care club members…we will survive & we will be ok. 💪 After all…we simply do not care anymore! 😂
February 13, 2026
This is an entertaining and informative book that really helps you realize you are not alone in all that you may be experiencing. My favorite parts, of course, were the announcements!
February 4, 2026
Now and forevermore referring to my lady hood as the bush burger.
November 23, 2025
Melani Sanders is so funny! She writes and shares about her perimenopause journey with humor and wit. Although I read this ARC digitally, I think this book would be best in print and/or audio. If you are interested in midlife, pick this one up — it is both informative and entertaining.
Thanks to Harvest and Netgalley for this ARC.
Thanks to Harvest and Netgalley for this ARC.
February 26, 2026
Worth quite a few chuckles.
February 9, 2026
As a member of the We Do Not Care Club I obviously had to pick this up! 100% relatable & full of laughs to boot.
February 7, 2026
3 stars, because there about half this book was 5 stars for me, and about half was 1 star.
I loved the audiobook - because the author narrates it! Also, I didn’t like the audiobook because I couldn’t easily skip or skim the parts I didn’t want to read. Also, I think the book pages would have visual appeal which obviously is missing in the audiobook. Still, her voice is so fantastic and funny!
What I really like about Melani Sanders,this book, and the WDNC club -
She speaks her mind, often in a very funny and relatable way
She legitimizes the physical, mental and emotional changes in this season - all of which can leave you feeling different than what you think of as yourself. This is not necessarily a bad thing! It’s just a big change.
She educates about menopause, hormonal changes throughout women’s lives, in ways that I’ve not heard before. She is an advocate for women in this season of life.
She seems to have a strong marriage, and I appreciate the way she talks about her husband, and, especially, the way he talks about her.
I liked her phrase “I’m at capacity” - a recognition and respect of limits in our lives as we age. I’ve learned this and am still learning it - that my limits, my capacity, may be much smaller than what I think or what I want - but that is okay. I have to respect whatever capacity I have. It is good enough.
Things I didn’t really like about the book:
The amount of more graphic material and profanity. For some, the more sexual parts of the book might be helpful; for me they were just very uncomfortable.
The underlying message (for the most part) that you have to choose between taking care of yourself and taking care of others.
The repeated mantra “you are enough.” I’m not interested in whether I’m, by myself, enough or not - because I live with the Spirit of Christ in me. That’s who makes me whole, makes me enough. Jesus is more than enough! It’s not what my husband thinks of me, or what anybody else thinks of me - just that Jesus died for me and I belong to Him. THAT is enough for me!
My own perspective, as a post menopausal woman who walks with Jesus - what I don’t care about anymore is:
trying to impress other people.
Thinking I have to be the smartest, funniest, best woman in the room. Good enough is good enough. God is enough.
Proving my worth by my productivity. I’ve already made a difference in the world, with ministry and friendships and bringing two sons into the world who are now amazing young men who chose amazing wives.
My own way of understanding why it matters to not care about the small stuff or other people opinions: because I have limited capacity. Those are extra, vain, self-interested concerns. And my concerns in this season of life are not about how I look, or my reputation, or how much I can accomplish. Instead, I want to care for myself in such a way that I am full of the love of God and freed to share that love with others. To share the wisdom and life lessons God’s given me with others. To love my sons with all of me. Caring for myself better is not an end in itself. “Self-care” is not self-indulgence, but making sure I’m at my best in my body and mind and spirit, so that I can serve God and others with true joy and freedom - not because others are watching or I have something to prove. But just because God’s love is so full and so worth sharing with those around me.
So what I DO care about is leaning on God and receiving all He has for me so that I am my best self. And then pouring that love on others so they are their best selves. Letting go of all the externals and self-consciousness and drivenness that plagued me in my earlier adulthood, I have so much MORE capacity to love and serve with joy and freedom and inner peace.
So that’s my message. All the things that I do not care about any more I can release. And then, even with a more limited capacity physically, emotionally and mentally, I still have plenty of reserves to share with others. Plenty of reserves with which to see and deeply appreciate the beauty of the world and others and even myself.
This season of post menopause can be hard and yet it also is so so very good and rich and liberating. There is much to look forward to!
I loved the audiobook - because the author narrates it! Also, I didn’t like the audiobook because I couldn’t easily skip or skim the parts I didn’t want to read. Also, I think the book pages would have visual appeal which obviously is missing in the audiobook. Still, her voice is so fantastic and funny!
What I really like about Melani Sanders,this book, and the WDNC club -
She speaks her mind, often in a very funny and relatable way
She legitimizes the physical, mental and emotional changes in this season - all of which can leave you feeling different than what you think of as yourself. This is not necessarily a bad thing! It’s just a big change.
She educates about menopause, hormonal changes throughout women’s lives, in ways that I’ve not heard before. She is an advocate for women in this season of life.
She seems to have a strong marriage, and I appreciate the way she talks about her husband, and, especially, the way he talks about her.
I liked her phrase “I’m at capacity” - a recognition and respect of limits in our lives as we age. I’ve learned this and am still learning it - that my limits, my capacity, may be much smaller than what I think or what I want - but that is okay. I have to respect whatever capacity I have. It is good enough.
Things I didn’t really like about the book:
The amount of more graphic material and profanity. For some, the more sexual parts of the book might be helpful; for me they were just very uncomfortable.
The underlying message (for the most part) that you have to choose between taking care of yourself and taking care of others.
The repeated mantra “you are enough.” I’m not interested in whether I’m, by myself, enough or not - because I live with the Spirit of Christ in me. That’s who makes me whole, makes me enough. Jesus is more than enough! It’s not what my husband thinks of me, or what anybody else thinks of me - just that Jesus died for me and I belong to Him. THAT is enough for me!
My own perspective, as a post menopausal woman who walks with Jesus - what I don’t care about anymore is:
trying to impress other people.
Thinking I have to be the smartest, funniest, best woman in the room. Good enough is good enough. God is enough.
Proving my worth by my productivity. I’ve already made a difference in the world, with ministry and friendships and bringing two sons into the world who are now amazing young men who chose amazing wives.
My own way of understanding why it matters to not care about the small stuff or other people opinions: because I have limited capacity. Those are extra, vain, self-interested concerns. And my concerns in this season of life are not about how I look, or my reputation, or how much I can accomplish. Instead, I want to care for myself in such a way that I am full of the love of God and freed to share that love with others. To share the wisdom and life lessons God’s given me with others. To love my sons with all of me. Caring for myself better is not an end in itself. “Self-care” is not self-indulgence, but making sure I’m at my best in my body and mind and spirit, so that I can serve God and others with true joy and freedom - not because others are watching or I have something to prove. But just because God’s love is so full and so worth sharing with those around me.
So what I DO care about is leaning on God and receiving all He has for me so that I am my best self. And then pouring that love on others so they are their best selves. Letting go of all the externals and self-consciousness and drivenness that plagued me in my earlier adulthood, I have so much MORE capacity to love and serve with joy and freedom and inner peace.
So that’s my message. All the things that I do not care about any more I can release. And then, even with a more limited capacity physically, emotionally and mentally, I still have plenty of reserves to share with others. Plenty of reserves with which to see and deeply appreciate the beauty of the world and others and even myself.
This season of post menopause can be hard and yet it also is so so very good and rich and liberating. There is much to look forward to!
January 31, 2026
I absolutely love Melani and I appreciate the WDNC community she started with her relatable honesty and deadpan humor. She is enabling open discussion and awareness of the condition, struggle, and evolution of those of us in peri/menopause. This book is also relatable and funny, but I rated it only three stars because even though I love the idea of all the things I’m free not to care about anymore, I found it the content repetitive. The book could have been much shorter. I personally don’t care much for some of the contributors’ male-bashing quotes throughout the book. (Although I do find the historical oversight and lack of attention to women’s healthcare needs - which maddeningly continues even today - to be very disturbing.) I stand in solidarity with my fellow WDNC members as I snuggle on the couch with my blanket and coffee wearing yesterday’s clothes, my readers perched atop my bed-head, and eating chocolate and cheese for breakfast. I simply do not care that it’s not a proper breakfast. At this point I will eat whatever takes the least amount of effort to scrounge up.
February 3, 2026
If you love Melanie Sanders and the "we do not care" club on Instagram, you will love the audio version of her book. She's real, authentic, out there, and doesn't hold back. It's just a damn shame that women's health issues are under researched and not learned about until one reaches "that" age. Melanie's book advocates for change. I learned a lot. Too late for me but, I will be sharing what's happening to my body (again) with my daughters.
February 19, 2026
Seriously, I laughed, I cried. I completely related with this handbook. I’m in perimenopause and I’m so thankful for Melanie. Her vulnerability, her compassion and her courage to write about something so deeply personal. Although, this time of life happens for all women, I felt like Melanie was speaking directly to me. I will absolutely be recommending this read for both informal discussions and personal ones.
February 20, 2026
Your rating will depend on where you are on your journey. I’m at the “look back and laugh about” phase. I thought it would just be a book with funny lines like she posts on Instagram.
In reality- this would probably be a good book for ladies just entering peri. Gives them a glimpse of what’s to come.
Have to agree fully with the “We do not care” attitude that comes at this time in life.
Live it up Ladies!
In reality- this would probably be a good book for ladies just entering peri. Gives them a glimpse of what’s to come.
Have to agree fully with the “We do not care” attitude that comes at this time in life.
Live it up Ladies!
February 22, 2026
Menopause has been a taboo subject for far too long! Thank goodness for Melani being brave enough to put herself out there and share how she was feeling...because we are all feeling the same! There need to be more doctors trained for menopause care, more options available for managing symptoms, and more knowledge about what it is before you get there. I truly thought I was losing my mind ~ and my husband surely thought his wife had turned into an ogre of epic proportions. Knowing WHAT is happening goes a long way figuring out how to manage your symptoms so you thrive instead of just survive.
March 4, 2026
Very informative and funny.
Read
March 15, 2026Full of Melani’s humor. A little repetitive but fun.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook
By Melani Sanders
Release Date: 1.13.26
Thank you, @harvestbooks, for a finished copy of Melani Sanders debut, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook.
I typically start my year with a self help book to kick things off, and this was a great choice. Melani, a woman just like the rest of us, was fed up last May and took to social media stating that she no longer cared to do it all. In the midst of menopause, she was giving herself permission to not have it all together all the time and through that sharing she found that she was alone. Fast forward to today where she has a mass following shouting yes girl to all of her revelations and making up the WDNC Club.
Full transparency, I had never heard of Melani Sanders until the publisher approached me with the chance to read her book. I tabbed this book up real good, felt seen/heard, and laughed throughout.
Note, that if looking for medical advice, this is not the book, but this instead is a space created by women for women as we all navigate an area that is lacking in information, support and guidance. This is an interactive handbook that encourages tabbing, highlighting and fill in the blank. It also references how to set up your own club or join in online. I enjoyed the sections on what women no longer care about and women in history (their contributions and what they didn't care to adhere to in society).
Finding out that i'm not the only one waiting up in the middle of the night, is reassuring. (P.s. it's 3:15 am while I write this review 😉). Although, the focus of the book is on perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, all women can relate to the pressures placed on us by society to perform at an unrealistic level in work, family, relationships, society, etc. This book shows that we can give ourselves permission to say we no longer care to adhere to those expectations.
By Melani Sanders
Release Date: 1.13.26
Thank you, @harvestbooks, for a finished copy of Melani Sanders debut, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook.
I typically start my year with a self help book to kick things off, and this was a great choice. Melani, a woman just like the rest of us, was fed up last May and took to social media stating that she no longer cared to do it all. In the midst of menopause, she was giving herself permission to not have it all together all the time and through that sharing she found that she was alone. Fast forward to today where she has a mass following shouting yes girl to all of her revelations and making up the WDNC Club.
Full transparency, I had never heard of Melani Sanders until the publisher approached me with the chance to read her book. I tabbed this book up real good, felt seen/heard, and laughed throughout.
Note, that if looking for medical advice, this is not the book, but this instead is a space created by women for women as we all navigate an area that is lacking in information, support and guidance. This is an interactive handbook that encourages tabbing, highlighting and fill in the blank. It also references how to set up your own club or join in online. I enjoyed the sections on what women no longer care about and women in history (their contributions and what they didn't care to adhere to in society).
Finding out that i'm not the only one waiting up in the middle of the night, is reassuring. (P.s. it's 3:15 am while I write this review 😉). Although, the focus of the book is on perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, all women can relate to the pressures placed on us by society to perform at an unrealistic level in work, family, relationships, society, etc. This book shows that we can give ourselves permission to say we no longer care to adhere to those expectations.
February 26, 2026
Perfect. Loved listening to Melanie’s voice narrating the audiobook but I think I also need a physical copy for regular reference <3 <3 <3
March 9, 2026
I appreciate the author’s sense of humor and I don’t 100% align with the conclusions that she comes to but I appreciate that she is encouraging women to speak up about their needs and reject the unequal and unrealistic ideals of our culture for women as we age.
February 26, 2026
Every single woman NEEDS this book! After all, menopause is completely unavoidable so the less taboo we make it and the more jokes we crack, the better off we will be
March 12, 2026
First off- this book should be required reading for EVERYBODY. Second- prepare to laugh until your face hurts! Not only is everything in here relatable, but I could see myself doing all the things while I’m reading about it. Read this book, you won’t regret it.
January 17, 2026
It's ok, but I prefer her videos.
December 7, 2025
This is the Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook - accept no substitutes! Seriously, there are people out there who are selling merchandise and trying to capitalize on the WDNC Club popularity, but only items authorized and/or written by Melani Sanders (aka @justbeingmelani) are the real thing. And the real thing is worth every penny.
Most of us women "of a certain age" know Melani through her viral social media videos. She records these wearing a variety of hats, a neck pillow, several pairs of glasses, and a yellow highlighter stuck in her hair. After spitting out the cap to the highlighter, she proceeds to the announcements, which consist of a number of things that "we do not care about today." Example: "We do not care if we RSVP'd to your invitation. We wanted to go then. We don't now. We're not going." These things that we do not care about hit so close to home and are so laugh-out-loud funny that the WDNC movement has spawned chapters all over the globe and earned Melani the Creator of the Year award from People Magazine.
But let's talk about the book - I'm here to tell you that it is absolutely wonderful - far more than I expected. In addition to the "today's announcements" section in every chapter, there are messages from OB/GYNs and other women's health specialists, profiles of women through history who simply did not care (from. Helen Keller to the Queen of Hearts), sample agendas to start your own club, and quite a few pages where women can list what they do not care about today, what self-help works for them, and other resources (notable is a section that deals with how to advocate with your elected representatives for laws and policies favoring menopausal women. Melani includes a sample advocacy letter and then, in typical Melani fashion, suggests it's probably not a good idea to use the word "coochie").. It's all lighthearted but also very serious. A running theme is that menopause changes are very real, and require support, not just women thinking they have to live through it. A message that resonates with many of us - which is one of the reasons this is so popular.
I hope and fully expect this book to be a bestseller. Many thanks to Harvest and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
Most of us women "of a certain age" know Melani through her viral social media videos. She records these wearing a variety of hats, a neck pillow, several pairs of glasses, and a yellow highlighter stuck in her hair. After spitting out the cap to the highlighter, she proceeds to the announcements, which consist of a number of things that "we do not care about today." Example: "We do not care if we RSVP'd to your invitation. We wanted to go then. We don't now. We're not going." These things that we do not care about hit so close to home and are so laugh-out-loud funny that the WDNC movement has spawned chapters all over the globe and earned Melani the Creator of the Year award from People Magazine.
But let's talk about the book - I'm here to tell you that it is absolutely wonderful - far more than I expected. In addition to the "today's announcements" section in every chapter, there are messages from OB/GYNs and other women's health specialists, profiles of women through history who simply did not care (from. Helen Keller to the Queen of Hearts), sample agendas to start your own club, and quite a few pages where women can list what they do not care about today, what self-help works for them, and other resources (notable is a section that deals with how to advocate with your elected representatives for laws and policies favoring menopausal women. Melani includes a sample advocacy letter and then, in typical Melani fashion, suggests it's probably not a good idea to use the word "coochie").. It's all lighthearted but also very serious. A running theme is that menopause changes are very real, and require support, not just women thinking they have to live through it. A message that resonates with many of us - which is one of the reasons this is so popular.
I hope and fully expect this book to be a bestseller. Many thanks to Harvest and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
February 19, 2026
“The Official WE DO NOT CARE Club Handbook” by Melani Sanders purports to be “a guide for women in perimenopause, menopause, and beyond who are OVER IT”. I don’t remember what review I read that made me want to get this at the library and read it, which is probably a good thing. This book was the embodiment of a toddler with its lower lip stuck out having a tantrum in a grocery store, but only if you add in the rampant use of the “F Word” and repeated imaginings of how good it would be to murder your spouse in painful ways.
I was expecting some good advice about how to deal with the various aspects of peri/menopause. There was a little of that, but nothing that wasn’t readily available everywhere else in the world. Instead it was full of the ideas that we do not care to (F*ing) do the laundry, we do not care to change out of our (F*ing) pajamas, we do not care to (F*) our spouses, we do not care to (F*ing) do our jobs to the best of our ability.
Close to the end of the book there was a list of “self-care” things one could do. The list went from things like “read a book” or “say a little prayer” or “Read the Bible” to…how can I put this…ummm….let’s just say it involved a vibrator and no “F*”. Shaking my head. There were probably a few valuable insights, but it was like walking through a beautiful pasture and stepping in cow manure. And yes, I’m very familiar with cow manure. Repeatedly. As a child I sunk up to my armpits in a cow manure pile at my uncle’s dairy farm. It took three baths for the water to quit running green.
I have been through menopause. It wasn’t particularly comfortable or enjoyable. But I have this belief that my feelings should not be pandered to when it comes to the way I treat other people, particularly my husband and my family. This book wallows.
Note to all: Some of you might love this book and find it hilarious. You do YOU. I wanted to spank it and tell it to grow up.
One star because I sort of made it through with a maximum of eye rolls…
I was expecting some good advice about how to deal with the various aspects of peri/menopause. There was a little of that, but nothing that wasn’t readily available everywhere else in the world. Instead it was full of the ideas that we do not care to (F*ing) do the laundry, we do not care to change out of our (F*ing) pajamas, we do not care to (F*) our spouses, we do not care to (F*ing) do our jobs to the best of our ability.
Close to the end of the book there was a list of “self-care” things one could do. The list went from things like “read a book” or “say a little prayer” or “Read the Bible” to…how can I put this…ummm….let’s just say it involved a vibrator and no “F*”. Shaking my head. There were probably a few valuable insights, but it was like walking through a beautiful pasture and stepping in cow manure. And yes, I’m very familiar with cow manure. Repeatedly. As a child I sunk up to my armpits in a cow manure pile at my uncle’s dairy farm. It took three baths for the water to quit running green.
I have been through menopause. It wasn’t particularly comfortable or enjoyable. But I have this belief that my feelings should not be pandered to when it comes to the way I treat other people, particularly my husband and my family. This book wallows.
Note to all: Some of you might love this book and find it hilarious. You do YOU. I wanted to spank it and tell it to grow up.
One star because I sort of made it through with a maximum of eye rolls…
March 1, 2026
I’ll just say it plainly: this book met me exactly where I am. For those who may not know, I have two college-aged kids. That alone places me squarely in what the doctors politely call the “perimenopause range.” My Instagram tag, your fave auntie, probably gave that away too.
Enter Melani Sanders.
If you haven’t caught her on Instagram or YouTube, you are missing out. She is funny. She is bold. She is telling the truth. And in The We Do Not Care Club Handbook, she brings that same unfiltered, hilarious honesty to the page.
This season of life can be incredibly frustrating. The hormonal shifts. The mood swings. The brain fog. The sudden urge to walk out of a meeting because someone asked one more unnecessary question. The fans. The forgotten keys. The occasional “did I put on real pants today?” moment.
Melani names it all – without shame.
What I appreciate most about this handbook is that it isn’t just comedy (though you will laugh). Beneath the humor is reassurance: this is a season. And most importantly, we are not alone.
The book blends storytelling with practical, actionable advice. One of the most powerful sections focuses on advocating for yourself with your healthcare team. So many of my friends and colleagues in this same stage say the same thing: our providers sometimes increase our frustration with a lack of empathy or understanding about what we’re experiencing. Sanders doesn’t just vent about it; she equips us to speak up.
And that matters.
She also reminds us to celebrate our daily wins, the quiet victories in how we show up for family, friends, and colleagues while navigating a body and brain that seem to have rewritten the rules without our permission.
Trip Summary: The “We Do Not Care Club” isn’t about apathy. It’s about release. It’s about choosing peace over performance. It’s about letting go of the pressure to explain, justify, or overextend. Just remember to bring your fan, your readers, your water bottle, and your pants. Five passport stamps ⭐ 5️⃣.
~ RR
Enter Melani Sanders.
If you haven’t caught her on Instagram or YouTube, you are missing out. She is funny. She is bold. She is telling the truth. And in The We Do Not Care Club Handbook, she brings that same unfiltered, hilarious honesty to the page.
This season of life can be incredibly frustrating. The hormonal shifts. The mood swings. The brain fog. The sudden urge to walk out of a meeting because someone asked one more unnecessary question. The fans. The forgotten keys. The occasional “did I put on real pants today?” moment.
Melani names it all – without shame.
What I appreciate most about this handbook is that it isn’t just comedy (though you will laugh). Beneath the humor is reassurance: this is a season. And most importantly, we are not alone.
The book blends storytelling with practical, actionable advice. One of the most powerful sections focuses on advocating for yourself with your healthcare team. So many of my friends and colleagues in this same stage say the same thing: our providers sometimes increase our frustration with a lack of empathy or understanding about what we’re experiencing. Sanders doesn’t just vent about it; she equips us to speak up.
And that matters.
She also reminds us to celebrate our daily wins, the quiet victories in how we show up for family, friends, and colleagues while navigating a body and brain that seem to have rewritten the rules without our permission.
Trip Summary: The “We Do Not Care Club” isn’t about apathy. It’s about release. It’s about choosing peace over performance. It’s about letting go of the pressure to explain, justify, or overextend. Just remember to bring your fan, your readers, your water bottle, and your pants. Five passport stamps ⭐ 5️⃣.
~ RR
January 22, 2026
The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook is the permission slip so many women didn’t know they were desperately waiting for. Melani Sanders delivers a hilariously honest, deeply validating, and unexpectedly tender guide for navigating perimenopause, menopause, and everything that comes after with zero apologies and a whole lot of truth.
This book works because it refuses to medicalize, sanitize, or minimize what women are experiencing. Instead, it names it. Loudly. With humor. From brain fog and night sweats to rage flashes and the radical decision to stop pretending we’re fine, Sanders captures the lived reality of this stage of life with uncanny precision. You feel seen on page one and it never lets go.
What makes this more than just a comedy read is the underlying solidarity. Beneath the laughs is a strong current of reassurance: you’re not broken, you’re not failing, and you’re not alone. The WDNC Club isn’t about giving up it’s about finally letting go of impossible standards that were never designed for women at this stage of life.
Sanders’ voice feels like the friend who tells the truth you’re afraid to say out loud, then hands you coffee and a blanket and says, “Same.” The result is a book that feels less like self-help and more like survival gear.
This is a rallying cry, a release valve, and a lifeline wrapped in humor. For anyone who is over it but still wants connection, laughter, and understanding this book belongs on your nightstand (or in your she-shed, pajamas optional).
Melanie M. Ham
melaniemhamliteracy@gmail.com
This book works because it refuses to medicalize, sanitize, or minimize what women are experiencing. Instead, it names it. Loudly. With humor. From brain fog and night sweats to rage flashes and the radical decision to stop pretending we’re fine, Sanders captures the lived reality of this stage of life with uncanny precision. You feel seen on page one and it never lets go.
What makes this more than just a comedy read is the underlying solidarity. Beneath the laughs is a strong current of reassurance: you’re not broken, you’re not failing, and you’re not alone. The WDNC Club isn’t about giving up it’s about finally letting go of impossible standards that were never designed for women at this stage of life.
Sanders’ voice feels like the friend who tells the truth you’re afraid to say out loud, then hands you coffee and a blanket and says, “Same.” The result is a book that feels less like self-help and more like survival gear.
This is a rallying cry, a release valve, and a lifeline wrapped in humor. For anyone who is over it but still wants connection, laughter, and understanding this book belongs on your nightstand (or in your she-shed, pajamas optional).
Melanie M. Ham
melaniemhamliteracy@gmail.com
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
We Do Not Care Club Handbook by Melani Sanders presents a humorous, candid look at life during perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, framed as a membership guide for women navigating hormonal changes. Using short reflections and lists, the book touches on shifting priorities, physical symptoms, and everyday frustrations through a shared club-like perspective.
I first came across Melani’s TikToks this past summer, and as a postmenopausal woman, I immediately felt that spark of recognition. That same feeling carried right into this book. It is deeply relatable and genuinely funny, but what surprised me most is that it is not just humor for humor’s sake. Woven throughout are thoughtful reminders about taking care of yourself, along with little nuggets of wisdom from women both past and present, and solid, credible input from medical voices like Dr. Mary Claire Haver.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It felt like sitting down with a friend who gets it and who reminds you that you are not alone in this stage of life, and that you do not need to apologize for who you are right now. While I read this as an advanced ebook copy, I would absolutely buy a physical copy for myself. The design elements are fantastic, and this is very much a book you want to hold in your hands, flip through, and revisit.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
I first came across Melani’s TikToks this past summer, and as a postmenopausal woman, I immediately felt that spark of recognition. That same feeling carried right into this book. It is deeply relatable and genuinely funny, but what surprised me most is that it is not just humor for humor’s sake. Woven throughout are thoughtful reminders about taking care of yourself, along with little nuggets of wisdom from women both past and present, and solid, credible input from medical voices like Dr. Mary Claire Haver.
More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It felt like sitting down with a friend who gets it and who reminds you that you are not alone in this stage of life, and that you do not need to apologize for who you are right now. While I read this as an advanced ebook copy, I would absolutely buy a physical copy for myself. The design elements are fantastic, and this is very much a book you want to hold in your hands, flip through, and revisit.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Unless you’ve been under a rock, there’s a good chance that you have heard of Melani Sanders and her “We Do Not Care Club” movement. What started out as a video filmed in her car as a cry for understanding turned into a phenomenon. The We Do Not Care Club is just that. A club for women who have just about had it, done, finished, and don’t care whether you or anyone likes it or not.
When it was announced that a handbook would be published to accompany the movement, I was excited to see what Melani would come up with. There are tidbits from a few menopause experts, excerpts from various WDNC club members discussing their experiences with menopause, and several lists of WDNC honorary members (Rosa Parks, Queen Elizabeth, Edie Windsor) to include their backstories.
Melani also added chapters on body image, sleep and sex, and the all too real balancing act we all face. Each chapter begins with the now famous “WDNC Announcements” which will make you chuckle. The WDNC handbook gives the reader a more intimate look into the authors life, versus more of the WDNC videos that have been viewed by millions.
Since it is being described as a “handbook” I would recommend a physical copy over digital if you want to jot down notes, and use your yellow highlighters.
Thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow | Harvest Publishing for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
When it was announced that a handbook would be published to accompany the movement, I was excited to see what Melani would come up with. There are tidbits from a few menopause experts, excerpts from various WDNC club members discussing their experiences with menopause, and several lists of WDNC honorary members (Rosa Parks, Queen Elizabeth, Edie Windsor) to include their backstories.
Melani also added chapters on body image, sleep and sex, and the all too real balancing act we all face. Each chapter begins with the now famous “WDNC Announcements” which will make you chuckle. The WDNC handbook gives the reader a more intimate look into the authors life, versus more of the WDNC videos that have been viewed by millions.
Since it is being described as a “handbook” I would recommend a physical copy over digital if you want to jot down notes, and use your yellow highlighters.
Thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow | Harvest Publishing for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
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