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Stop Letting Everything Affect You: How to Break Free from Overthinking, Emotional Chaos, and Self-Sabotage
STOP LETTING EVERYTHING AFFECT YOU is a transformative guide for anyone who overthinks every interaction, gets stuck in emotional chaos, and finds themselves trapped in cycles of self-sabotage. With raw honesty and practical wisdom, Daniel Chidiac reveals why small things ruin your entire day and offers proven strategies to finally break free.
This book will teach you how
Stop letting little things ruin your entire day. Stop self-sabotaging. Set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty. Recognize the difference between real guilt and manipulation. Break the cycle of overthinking before it spirals out of control. Stop taking everything so personally and free yourself from emotional reactivity. Identify toxic patterns in relationships and walk away without regret. Be more in control and feel better everyday. Shift your mindset from victimhood to self-empowerment. Learn the art of emotional detachment—how to be unbothered without becoming cold. Move forward unapologetically, without feeling the need to explain your growth. Whether you're exhausted from overthinking everything, tired of absorbing everyone else's energy, or simply ready to stop letting life's chaos dictate how you feel, this book offers the transformative tools to finally reclaim your power, protect your peace, and live on your own terms.
Your journey to inner strength and freedom starts here.
Daniel Chidiac, International best-selling author of Who Says You Can't? You Do and The Modern Break-Up brings his new book, Stop Letting Everything Affect You. As Daniel says, "In a world designed to keep you overwhelmed, learning to protect your peace isn't just important—it's essential.”
This book will teach you how
Stop letting little things ruin your entire day. Stop self-sabotaging. Set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty. Recognize the difference between real guilt and manipulation. Break the cycle of overthinking before it spirals out of control. Stop taking everything so personally and free yourself from emotional reactivity. Identify toxic patterns in relationships and walk away without regret. Be more in control and feel better everyday. Shift your mindset from victimhood to self-empowerment. Learn the art of emotional detachment—how to be unbothered without becoming cold. Move forward unapologetically, without feeling the need to explain your growth. Whether you're exhausted from overthinking everything, tired of absorbing everyone else's energy, or simply ready to stop letting life's chaos dictate how you feel, this book offers the transformative tools to finally reclaim your power, protect your peace, and live on your own terms.
Your journey to inner strength and freedom starts here.
Daniel Chidiac, International best-selling author of Who Says You Can't? You Do and The Modern Break-Up brings his new book, Stop Letting Everything Affect You. As Daniel says, "In a world designed to keep you overwhelmed, learning to protect your peace isn't just important—it's essential.”
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Published July 24, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 548 reviews
September 6, 2025
I would have given a higher score except mentioned his religious beliefs a bit too much for my liking however I did find it very relatable and would recommend.
August 11, 2025
Short and helpful. I appreciate the self-help books that are digestible and less intimidating to get through so I can actually put the strategies to use quickly.
September 24, 2025
“The lessons we need to learn don’t always arrive when we think they should. They arrive when we are finally prepared to receive them.”
If you’ve ever struggled with emotional reactions that don’t line up with the situation, carrying the weight of others problems, burnout, setting boundaries, guilt for setting those boundaries, dealing with narcissists, knowing when to re-evaluate needs vs just leaving, grief, etc…this book has it all. It was extremely refreshing to see scientific case studies referenced, how the brain functions in response to stress triggers, and that all of this was in a 4 hour listen. Clearly explains tools and implementation to help manage stress responses, triggers, and ways to get out of the mental hamster wheel you may be stuck in. I think this should be a must read for anyone and everyone!
If you’ve ever struggled with emotional reactions that don’t line up with the situation, carrying the weight of others problems, burnout, setting boundaries, guilt for setting those boundaries, dealing with narcissists, knowing when to re-evaluate needs vs just leaving, grief, etc…this book has it all. It was extremely refreshing to see scientific case studies referenced, how the brain functions in response to stress triggers, and that all of this was in a 4 hour listen. Clearly explains tools and implementation to help manage stress responses, triggers, and ways to get out of the mental hamster wheel you may be stuck in. I think this should be a must read for anyone and everyone!
September 28, 2025
I feel like this is a must read (or listen like I did) for everyone. It’s a pretty short book but man did I feel callllled out.
This is just what I needed, and will continue to need. As I grow and learn and listen to myself and how I react to things and how I carry things with me. It’s about learning to take control of your feelings and how to let go of things you carry that are beyond that.
This is just what I needed, and will continue to need. As I grow and learn and listen to myself and how I react to things and how I carry things with me. It’s about learning to take control of your feelings and how to let go of things you carry that are beyond that.
September 23, 2025
There are a lot of helpful and practical ideas here. It can speak to those in abusive relationships and those who might live to please others and keep peace, but it doesn't so in an over bent us vs. them mentality. when I was struggling with depression, I would have been classified as the them.in this book. Everyone should have ditched me because I didn't give back to relationships. Also, I've seen marriages saved by not giving up. Yes, setting boundaries and not staying in abusive ones. However, it feels there is no room for this in the author's mind. So read for helpful tips, but also read with caution.
November 25, 2025
“The important thing to remember is that someone else’s choices don’t have anything to do with your worth. When someone chooses a path that seems self-destructive or different to what you believe they should do, they’re responding to their own internal world—not making an objective assessment of your value. They’re acting from their own reality, not yours. That’s why taking someone else’s decisions personally is one of the worst mistakes we can make.”
“The truth is, you were never meant to control everything. You were designed to adapt, to respond creatively, to flow with life rather than constantly fighting to direct it. And in that flexibility, you’ll find the genuine security that trying to control everything could never provide.”
“Only people who aren’t happy with themselves are mean to others.”
“Stop overplaying your role! Deal with people how they deal with you: hardly, barely, and accordingly.”
“Sometimes you just have to be done. Not mad, not upset… Just done.“
“Maybe overthinking kept you safe from disappointment. Maybe people-pleasing helped you avoid conflict. Maybe staying in toxic cycles gave you a false sense of security. Even the things that hurt you served a purpose at one point. The problem is, growth feels like loss before it feels like freedom.”
1. Acknowledge the guilt without judgment: “I notice I’m feeling guilty right now.”
2. Remind yourself: “This feeling is temporary. It’s my brain adjusting to a new pattern.”
3. Focus on your breathing until the intensity passes.
4. Affirm your right to self-care: “Having boundaries doesn’t make me selfish—it makes me balanced and sustainable.”
“Never try to defend yourself against a narcissist. They already know you’re right, they just want you to go crazy trying to prove it.”
“True closure isn’t about getting an apology or an explanation—it’s about making peace with the fact that you may never get one. It’s about realizing that closure is a choice, not something someone else gives you.”
“I don’t walk away to teach people a lesson. I walk away because I finally learned mine.”
“You don’t always have to tell your side of the story… Time will.”
“Closure is something you give yourself, not something you get from someone else.”
“Consider your body’s natural healing process. When you suffer a deep cut, your body doesn’t need to “forgive” what cut it in order to heal. It requires proper care—cleaning the wound, protecting it from further harm, giving it time, and perhaps medical attention. The body’s wisdom lies in prioritizing restoration rather than reconciliation with the object that caused the injury.”
“What if, instead of chasing happiness, we sought something deeper? Something more sustainable? What if the goal isn’t happiness at all, but understanding? A state of being that doesn’t depend on everything going right, but on your ability to comprehend and accept life even when things go wrong.”
“The truth is, you were never meant to control everything. You were designed to adapt, to respond creatively, to flow with life rather than constantly fighting to direct it. And in that flexibility, you’ll find the genuine security that trying to control everything could never provide.”
“Only people who aren’t happy with themselves are mean to others.”
“Stop overplaying your role! Deal with people how they deal with you: hardly, barely, and accordingly.”
“Sometimes you just have to be done. Not mad, not upset… Just done.“
“Maybe overthinking kept you safe from disappointment. Maybe people-pleasing helped you avoid conflict. Maybe staying in toxic cycles gave you a false sense of security. Even the things that hurt you served a purpose at one point. The problem is, growth feels like loss before it feels like freedom.”
1. Acknowledge the guilt without judgment: “I notice I’m feeling guilty right now.”
2. Remind yourself: “This feeling is temporary. It’s my brain adjusting to a new pattern.”
3. Focus on your breathing until the intensity passes.
4. Affirm your right to self-care: “Having boundaries doesn’t make me selfish—it makes me balanced and sustainable.”
“Never try to defend yourself against a narcissist. They already know you’re right, they just want you to go crazy trying to prove it.”
“True closure isn’t about getting an apology or an explanation—it’s about making peace with the fact that you may never get one. It’s about realizing that closure is a choice, not something someone else gives you.”
“I don’t walk away to teach people a lesson. I walk away because I finally learned mine.”
“You don’t always have to tell your side of the story… Time will.”
“Closure is something you give yourself, not something you get from someone else.”
“Consider your body’s natural healing process. When you suffer a deep cut, your body doesn’t need to “forgive” what cut it in order to heal. It requires proper care—cleaning the wound, protecting it from further harm, giving it time, and perhaps medical attention. The body’s wisdom lies in prioritizing restoration rather than reconciliation with the object that caused the injury.”
“What if, instead of chasing happiness, we sought something deeper? Something more sustainable? What if the goal isn’t happiness at all, but understanding? A state of being that doesn’t depend on everything going right, but on your ability to comprehend and accept life even when things go wrong.”
February 17, 2026
This book was exactly what I needed to hear right now. Being an empath or feeling deeply is such a superpower—but it can also feel like “carrying an emotional radar that’s always on.” Giving so much of yourself. You put your heart into everything, into every connection and relationship. Instead of feeling fulfilled, you feel worn out—always giving, but never receiving. Chidiac nails it when he says, “The problem with being empathetic is that you even feel sorry for people who hurt you.” Oof, right?! And he’s spot on when he adds, “There comes a moment when you realize you can’t keep living like this—constantly drained, constantly affected by things that shouldn’t have this much power over you.”
I had so many “aha” moments while reading this book—so many passages highlighted, so many times I thought, Yes! Exactly! I genuinely felt understood. I can already tell this is one I’ll be rereading.
One line that especially stayed with me: “Beautiful souls recognize beautiful souls. Keep being genuine. Your people will find you.”
If you’re an empath or someone who feels deeply, this book is for you.
I had so many “aha” moments while reading this book—so many passages highlighted, so many times I thought, Yes! Exactly! I genuinely felt understood. I can already tell this is one I’ll be rereading.
One line that especially stayed with me: “Beautiful souls recognize beautiful souls. Keep being genuine. Your people will find you.”
If you’re an empath or someone who feels deeply, this book is for you.
September 29, 2025
I'll have to reread one day, for retention's sake.
But by golly did this make me uncomfortable in the best way.
It was short, and succint in a way that makes it feel achieveable.
But by golly did this make me uncomfortable in the best way.
It was short, and succint in a way that makes it feel achieveable.
November 22, 2025
This book turned out to be a disappointment. It started off quite good but ended up being a good of poor advice in the end. The end of the book basically said that the way to not overthink is to overthink everything. What??? Also, the good got a little religious at the end as well. I give it two stars just due to the few chapters in the middle that were great.
Here are some quotes that I loved from the good part of the book:
“You can’t put a crown on a clown and expect them to be a king”
“Beautiful souls find beautiful souls. Keep being genuine. Your people will find you. “
“I think some people need to give themselves more credit for being single. Maybe it means you’re not the type to settle so easily. There is strength and wisdom in that.”
“Focus on moving toward what you want rather than away from what you fear”
“Sometimes the thing that breaks your heart fixes your vision”
“Stay away from people who act like victim in the situation they created”
“Think about how much time you’ve wasted over explaining your actions to people who were not even entitled to an answer”
“Some people only understand your value once they no longer have access to it“
“Growth feels like loss before it feels like freedom”
“This isn’t your fault, not now it is your responsibility”
You need to decide that your peace is more important than their presence
The peace you feel after walking away is I worth being the villain in their story
I don’t walk away to teach people s lesson. I walk away because I’ve finally learned mine
Sometimes people act like you are hard to deal with because you aren’t easy to fool”
Here are some quotes that I loved from the good part of the book:
“You can’t put a crown on a clown and expect them to be a king”
“Beautiful souls find beautiful souls. Keep being genuine. Your people will find you. “
“I think some people need to give themselves more credit for being single. Maybe it means you’re not the type to settle so easily. There is strength and wisdom in that.”
“Focus on moving toward what you want rather than away from what you fear”
“Sometimes the thing that breaks your heart fixes your vision”
“Stay away from people who act like victim in the situation they created”
“Think about how much time you’ve wasted over explaining your actions to people who were not even entitled to an answer”
“Some people only understand your value once they no longer have access to it“
“Growth feels like loss before it feels like freedom”
“This isn’t your fault, not now it is your responsibility”
You need to decide that your peace is more important than their presence
The peace you feel after walking away is I worth being the villain in their story
I don’t walk away to teach people s lesson. I walk away because I’ve finally learned mine
Sometimes people act like you are hard to deal with because you aren’t easy to fool”
January 4, 2026
For my fellow anxious overachieving reactive control-freaks. This really resonated with me & I definitely plan to take some tips/advice from this one and apply it to my daily life. I felt CALLED OUT.
Super short and quick to read/listen to!
Super short and quick to read/listen to!
December 10, 2025
I can't fathom why this book is so popular and so highly rated. It's just copy, paste Pinterest quotes from cover to cover. I think if you've ever been to therapy or read even one other self help book, this book will be laughable. I think this book is specifically written for the people who overly concern themselves with social media and putting up the appearance of having the perfect life. Don't bother.
February 5, 2026
Really enjoyed the book, and I’m sure it’s one I’ll reread again and again. I took away some great ideas that I’ve already implementing in my life, and they’ve had a positive impact.
I listened to the audiobook 🎧
“Sometimes the things that break your heart, fix your vision.”
“It’s never too late to begin, to create, to transform, to live.”
“You’re stronger than you think sometimes. You always have been.”
I listened to the audiobook 🎧
“Sometimes the things that break your heart, fix your vision.”
“It’s never too late to begin, to create, to transform, to live.”
“You’re stronger than you think sometimes. You always have been.”
January 1, 2026
I felt seen while reading it. The way the author breaks down overthinking, emotional spirals, and self-sabotage is incredibly relatable. It doesn’t overwhelm you with theories, instead, it gently but clearly reminds you that you have more control than you think. If you tend to let things get under your skin or replay moments in your head, this is a must-read. Calm, reassuring, and empowering from start to finish.
January 15, 2026
Excellent way to change the narrative in your head. Highly recommend.
January 2, 2026
Very useful and to the point!
December 10, 2025
I like to give these self help books a go but can’t stand when they are preachy, it was ok but nothing groundbreaking.
Read
October 1, 2025Entering my no rumination period - lots of great takeaways in this book. Bit of a jump scare when I realised it had christocentric views
February 15, 2026
✦⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆✦
✧｡･ﾟﾟ･☾ Review ☾･ﾟﾟ･｡✧
★★★★★
SAY IT WITH ME NOW:
“I am the author of my life. I trust my perception. I honor my needs. I walk away from what diminishes me. I move toward what enlarges me. I owe no explanation for my evolution.”
I thought this book was great. It shares a lot of hard truths that can be uncomfortable, but in a way that’s really eye opening and makes you reflect. I appreciated how honest and direct it was without feeling preachy. If you’re not usually into self help but like picking one up every now and then, I’d recommend this one. It’s short, easy to read, and covers super relatable topics without feeling overwhelming.
✦⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆✦
✧｡･ﾟﾟ･☾ Quotes ☾･ﾟﾟ･｡✧
“ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ꜰɪx ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠɪꜱɪᴏɴ.”
“ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɢɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴀᴡ. ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ… ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ.”
“ɴᴀʀᴄɪꜱꜱɪꜱᴛꜱ ʙᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ: ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴜɪɴ ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴘᴜᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʙʏ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴀɪᴅ.”
“ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟꜱᴇ’ꜱ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇꜱ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴛʜ. ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇꜱ ᴀ ᴘᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍꜱ ꜱᴇʟꜰ-ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴏ.”
“ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏᴏ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ꜰᴇʟʟ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ᴅᴇᴀʟᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴇꜱᴛ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀꜱᴛɪᴍᴜʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛ ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴀꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ᴏʀ ꜰʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴍᴏᴅᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ.”
“ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ɪꜱ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ᴇᴀꜱʏ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʀɪꜱᴋ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴇxɪꜱᴛ. ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʀᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ɪꜱɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ—ʙᴜᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴛᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀɪʟɪɴɢ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʀɪꜱᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴀʟʟ ꜰʟᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀʏ, ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏ, ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏɴꜰʀᴏɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴇᴀʀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ɪɴᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀʟᴇꜱꜱ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ.”
✧｡･ﾟﾟ･☾ Review ☾･ﾟﾟ･｡✧
★★★★★
SAY IT WITH ME NOW:
“I am the author of my life. I trust my perception. I honor my needs. I walk away from what diminishes me. I move toward what enlarges me. I owe no explanation for my evolution.”
I thought this book was great. It shares a lot of hard truths that can be uncomfortable, but in a way that’s really eye opening and makes you reflect. I appreciated how honest and direct it was without feeling preachy. If you’re not usually into self help but like picking one up every now and then, I’d recommend this one. It’s short, easy to read, and covers super relatable topics without feeling overwhelming.
✦⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆✦
✧｡･ﾟﾟ･☾ Quotes ☾･ﾟﾟ･｡✧
“ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ꜰɪx ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠɪꜱɪᴏɴ.”
“ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɢɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴀᴡ. ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ… ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ.”
“ɴᴀʀᴄɪꜱꜱɪꜱᴛꜱ ʙᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ: ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴜɪɴ ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴘᴜᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʙʏ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴀɪᴅ.”
“ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟꜱᴇ’ꜱ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇꜱ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴛʜ. ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇꜱ ᴀ ᴘᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍꜱ ꜱᴇʟꜰ-ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴏ.”
“ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏᴏ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ꜰᴇʟʟ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ᴅᴇᴀʟᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴇꜱᴛ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀꜱᴛɪᴍᴜʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛ ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴀꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ᴏʀ ꜰʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴍᴏᴅᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ.”
“ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ɪꜱ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ᴇᴀꜱʏ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʀɪꜱᴋ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴇxɪꜱᴛ. ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʀᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ɪꜱɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ—ʙᴜᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴛᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀɪʟɪɴɢ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʀɪꜱᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴀʟʟ ꜰʟᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀʏ, ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏ, ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏɴꜰʀᴏɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴇᴀʀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ɪɴᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀʟᴇꜱꜱ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ.”
December 18, 2025
Man ļoti patika.
Īsi un kodolīgi aprakstīti dažādi veidi, kā mēs paši sevi ieliekam dažādos domu un emociju karuseļos, no kuriem neprotam izkāpt. Dotas dažādas tehnikas, ar kuru palīdzību mācīties uz savām bailēm paskatīties no malas, kā arī burtiski pa punktiem uzskaitītas nianses, kurām pievērst uzmanību, komunicējot ar toksiskiem cilvēkiem, kas mēdz diezgan bieži mums apkārt riņķot.
Īsi un kodolīgi aprakstīti dažādi veidi, kā mēs paši sevi ieliekam dažādos domu un emociju karuseļos, no kuriem neprotam izkāpt. Dotas dažādas tehnikas, ar kuru palīdzību mācīties uz savām bailēm paskatīties no malas, kā arī burtiski pa punktiem uzskaitītas nianses, kurām pievērst uzmanību, komunicējot ar toksiskiem cilvēkiem, kas mēdz diezgan bieži mums apkārt riņķot.
January 4, 2026
Five star read. Will be rereading this gem many times.
February 24, 2026
There’s a chapter for everyone in this book I’m sure! 12/10 recommend!
November 24, 2025
I usually don’t do self help books but I did enjoy this one. I caught myself nodding my head to a lot of what he would say.
August 28, 2025
5⭐️ highly recommend for everyone and anyone 🌱
November 21, 2025
This book made my anxiety worse lol
edit: there are some genuinely good nuggets in here, but the general POV is “we’re all inching closer to death day by day our time is running out quicker than you think so stop being anxious because it’s wasting your quickly diminishing time on earth”, which has opposite the intended effect.
edit: there are some genuinely good nuggets in here, but the general POV is “we’re all inching closer to death day by day our time is running out quicker than you think so stop being anxious because it’s wasting your quickly diminishing time on earth”, which has opposite the intended effect.
October 6, 2025
I stumbled across this audiobook on Spotify Premium and it is easily the best book I’ve “read” in 2025. It’s short and to the point, yet filled with numerous realistic, practical and helpful insights and tips that somehow still sound like a pep talk from your best friend.
This book is perfect for someone who’s in the middle of a transformation period away from a bad relationship, a career change, childhood trauma, patterns of unhelpful thinking, and stuck in a rut with no clear path forward.
This book is perfect for someone who’s in the middle of a transformation period away from a bad relationship, a career change, childhood trauma, patterns of unhelpful thinking, and stuck in a rut with no clear path forward.
January 9, 2026
This book could have been a 3-star read for me; however, the sudden introduction of religious beliefs - appearing only once the reader is 75% through - immediately dropped it to a 1-star.
The book is marketed as self-help, meaning it is intended to guide personal development. In my view, unless this is made clear from the outset, there is no place for religious preaching within a self-help book, particularly one that leans heavily on scientific research. Phrases such as “God has planned everything” felt unnecessary and off-putting, ultimately undermining the credibility of the research that has clearly gone into the writing.
The book is marketed as self-help, meaning it is intended to guide personal development. In my view, unless this is made clear from the outset, there is no place for religious preaching within a self-help book, particularly one that leans heavily on scientific research. Phrases such as “God has planned everything” felt unnecessary and off-putting, ultimately undermining the credibility of the research that has clearly gone into the writing.
January 4, 2026
This was a great self held book for those of us who are sensitive and need to stop overthinking!
October 1, 2025
Most of what was said in the book were things I had heard before. Many times it was almost like he was repeating quote after quote BUT it was everything I needed to hear at the perfect time. This is a book I'd like to keep on hand just when I need to remember who the f**k I am.
February 25, 2026
Long winded review because this book really spoke to me!
I came across this book because I tend to let other people’s actions/ words affect me. Not in a simple way but in a debilitating, ruins my whole day, stay mad at that person kind of way. Also, I have a history of relationships/ friendships where it was one sided. Where I would give my all, drop everything to be there for them- but it wasn’t reciprocated. I would do little tests where I wouldn’t initiate the start of the convo and wait for that person to instigate and it would never come. So slowly over time, I learned to just let go of those friendships.
“The power of silence isn’t about cutting people off, but reclaiming your peace.”
“You are not heartless for walking away from things that no longer serve you. “
Part 1
Chapter 1 right off the bat was so good I had to re-start the book and slow the speed down all the way because this book is soooo me.
This chapter talks about overly sensitive/ deep-feeling people. People that are affected heavily by even the smallest interaction. Empathetic people.
—The emotional cost of caring too much—
Sometimes in our relationships/ friendships, we often feel depleted, worn out or even taken advantage of. Especially when those actions aren’t reciprocated. Giving but never receiving.
“Other people’s happiness isn’t our responsibility. I used to think I could save everyone, but then I realized they were drowning me.”
“You show up for people who wouldn’t do the same for you.”
“Caring about people doesn’t mean they’ll care about you in the same way.”
“NOT EVERYTHING/ everyone deserves your reaction.”
Ch 2.
He brings up how sometimes we can experience a minor inconvenience and laugh it off while other times have a complete meltdown. Of that he says: “The difference isn’t the situation itself it’s your mental state when it happens.”
I feel this! This is usually when I tell my kids I’m overstimulated. When each kid is screaming for something, the dogs need to be let out, the house is a mess and the phone is ringing. I BLOW when that happens. Each of those things alone is manageable. But all together or compounded is when I meet my worst self!
“The reactive mind is just what we’ve done out of habit/ practice but we can re-learn.”
———
In one part, he talks about worrying and he says: “If it (the mind) worries enough, it can prevent bad things from happening.”
I have periods of intense anxiety where I will see something on the news (like a crime) and I will play it over and over in my head and play out what I would do or what I would say in that situation. And I hate it so much because it makes me so anxious and sad. But now I can say to myself that worrying won’t stop life from happening.
Witness your emotions instead of becoming them. Instead of “I’m so angry“ say instead, “I feel anger rising in me“
You’re not identifying as an emotion and can shift your thinking to bring out a different emotion instead.
Ok those are my notes from this book 10/10. Will def be coming back to my review when I need a refresher haha
I came across this book because I tend to let other people’s actions/ words affect me. Not in a simple way but in a debilitating, ruins my whole day, stay mad at that person kind of way. Also, I have a history of relationships/ friendships where it was one sided. Where I would give my all, drop everything to be there for them- but it wasn’t reciprocated. I would do little tests where I wouldn’t initiate the start of the convo and wait for that person to instigate and it would never come. So slowly over time, I learned to just let go of those friendships.
“The power of silence isn’t about cutting people off, but reclaiming your peace.”
“You are not heartless for walking away from things that no longer serve you. “
Part 1
Chapter 1 right off the bat was so good I had to re-start the book and slow the speed down all the way because this book is soooo me.
This chapter talks about overly sensitive/ deep-feeling people. People that are affected heavily by even the smallest interaction. Empathetic people.
—The emotional cost of caring too much—
Sometimes in our relationships/ friendships, we often feel depleted, worn out or even taken advantage of. Especially when those actions aren’t reciprocated. Giving but never receiving.
“Other people’s happiness isn’t our responsibility. I used to think I could save everyone, but then I realized they were drowning me.”
“You show up for people who wouldn’t do the same for you.”
“Caring about people doesn’t mean they’ll care about you in the same way.”
“NOT EVERYTHING/ everyone deserves your reaction.”
Ch 2.
He brings up how sometimes we can experience a minor inconvenience and laugh it off while other times have a complete meltdown. Of that he says: “The difference isn’t the situation itself it’s your mental state when it happens.”
I feel this! This is usually when I tell my kids I’m overstimulated. When each kid is screaming for something, the dogs need to be let out, the house is a mess and the phone is ringing. I BLOW when that happens. Each of those things alone is manageable. But all together or compounded is when I meet my worst self!
“The reactive mind is just what we’ve done out of habit/ practice but we can re-learn.”
———
In one part, he talks about worrying and he says: “If it (the mind) worries enough, it can prevent bad things from happening.”
I have periods of intense anxiety where I will see something on the news (like a crime) and I will play it over and over in my head and play out what I would do or what I would say in that situation. And I hate it so much because it makes me so anxious and sad. But now I can say to myself that worrying won’t stop life from happening.
Witness your emotions instead of becoming them. Instead of “I’m so angry“ say instead, “I feel anger rising in me“
You’re not identifying as an emotion and can shift your thinking to bring out a different emotion instead.
Ok those are my notes from this book 10/10. Will def be coming back to my review when I need a refresher haha
November 14, 2025
"True victory isn't about proving yourself to others or gaining external validation. It's about living consciously by your own standards, regardless of others' perceptions."
Lots of good, practical advice and observations.
(I think I read this hoping to help others, but gleaned a good bit that just might help me.)
-Here's an interesting idea... Keeping a "worry journal" and carving out a designated rumination time every day in which to record and give brief, limited thought to said concerns. (Author suggests no more than 20 minutes.)
Designating "worry time" for yourself once a day allows your brain to chew on such things only during that time slot. It contains the concerns and allows them to be looked at, while (hopefully) letting you defer away from worries with the promise to your brain that you WILL consider them at the proper time.
"Neuroscience reveals that perceived control activates the prefrontal cortex, reducing activity in the amygdala (your brain's alarm system.) Even small shifts in what you focus on can dramatically change your experience of stress."
Inventory Suggestion: Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, list everything currently causing you stress. On the right, identify one aspect of each situation you can directly influence. I.e.:
Traffic Jam -- Your response to the delay
Someone's opinion of you -- How you speak to yourself about it
Project deadline -- How you allocate your time
Others' behaviors -- Your boundaries/reactions
"By redirecting your brain's resources toward actionable areas, you reduce the cognitive load that makes small stresses feel overwhelming. What's powerful about this approach is that it works even if you're already overwhelmed."
"When you feel that familiar tension rising, the frustration--over a small inconvenience that feels disproportionally upsetting--pause and ask: What's one thing I can control right now? Then take one small action from that place of agency. This interrupts the cascade of stress hormones that amplifies your reaction--breaking the rejection/control cycle."
The Redirection Protocol:
1. Acknowledge the desire for validation or vindication without judgment.
2. Ask yourself, "What meaningful goal would give me a genuine sense of agency?"
3. Take one small action toward that goal immediately.
Approach-oriented goals lead to greater psychological well-being, sustained motivation, and reduced rumination. (Instead of avoidance strategies focused on negative prevention.)
Here's where I don't agree with the author. He says "It doesn't truly matter whether you forgive, but whether you are able to move forward with your life." He's right that we need to honor our own timeline for healing, but he fails to recognize or acknowledge the toxicity of unforgiveness. (He also fails to distinguish between forgiveness and restoration--which may be where the disconnect lies.)
At one point, he also says, "You can reclaim your power and your peace without completing the particular ritual of forgiveness that society often demands."
What society is he talking about?! Not Western secular society as I know it...
It's a pity the author doesn't seem to have any reference/regard for people of faith on this topic. (I'd say you can skip the last 10% of this one and be better off for it.)
Favorite Quotes:
*"Sometimes the things that break your heart fix your vision."
*"Sometimes it's your friends that keep your enemies updated. Be careful."
*"You can't keep getting mad at people for sucking the life out of you if you keep giving them the straw."
*"Research has shown that empathetic overload actually triggers the same stress responses in your body as if you were experiencing the stressors directly. Your body doesn't distinguish between your pain and the pain you absorb from others. It responds with the same cascade of stress hormones either way."
*"The first step toward freedom is understanding that carrying everyone else's emotional weight isn't compassion. It's a learned pattern that likely began long before you had the words to describe it. Research in developmental psychology shows that many over-givers were once children who learned that their worth was tied to how well they could attend to others' needs."
Lots of good, practical advice and observations.
(I think I read this hoping to help others, but gleaned a good bit that just might help me.)
-Here's an interesting idea... Keeping a "worry journal" and carving out a designated rumination time every day in which to record and give brief, limited thought to said concerns. (Author suggests no more than 20 minutes.)
Designating "worry time" for yourself once a day allows your brain to chew on such things only during that time slot. It contains the concerns and allows them to be looked at, while (hopefully) letting you defer away from worries with the promise to your brain that you WILL consider them at the proper time.
"Neuroscience reveals that perceived control activates the prefrontal cortex, reducing activity in the amygdala (your brain's alarm system.) Even small shifts in what you focus on can dramatically change your experience of stress."
Inventory Suggestion: Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, list everything currently causing you stress. On the right, identify one aspect of each situation you can directly influence. I.e.:
Traffic Jam -- Your response to the delay
Someone's opinion of you -- How you speak to yourself about it
Project deadline -- How you allocate your time
Others' behaviors -- Your boundaries/reactions
"By redirecting your brain's resources toward actionable areas, you reduce the cognitive load that makes small stresses feel overwhelming. What's powerful about this approach is that it works even if you're already overwhelmed."
"When you feel that familiar tension rising, the frustration--over a small inconvenience that feels disproportionally upsetting--pause and ask: What's one thing I can control right now? Then take one small action from that place of agency. This interrupts the cascade of stress hormones that amplifies your reaction--breaking the rejection/control cycle."
The Redirection Protocol:
1. Acknowledge the desire for validation or vindication without judgment.
2. Ask yourself, "What meaningful goal would give me a genuine sense of agency?"
3. Take one small action toward that goal immediately.
Approach-oriented goals lead to greater psychological well-being, sustained motivation, and reduced rumination. (Instead of avoidance strategies focused on negative prevention.)
Here's where I don't agree with the author. He says "It doesn't truly matter whether you forgive, but whether you are able to move forward with your life." He's right that we need to honor our own timeline for healing, but he fails to recognize or acknowledge the toxicity of unforgiveness. (He also fails to distinguish between forgiveness and restoration--which may be where the disconnect lies.)
At one point, he also says, "You can reclaim your power and your peace without completing the particular ritual of forgiveness that society often demands."
What society is he talking about?! Not Western secular society as I know it...
It's a pity the author doesn't seem to have any reference/regard for people of faith on this topic. (I'd say you can skip the last 10% of this one and be better off for it.)
Favorite Quotes:
*"Sometimes the things that break your heart fix your vision."
*"Sometimes it's your friends that keep your enemies updated. Be careful."
*"You can't keep getting mad at people for sucking the life out of you if you keep giving them the straw."
*"Research has shown that empathetic overload actually triggers the same stress responses in your body as if you were experiencing the stressors directly. Your body doesn't distinguish between your pain and the pain you absorb from others. It responds with the same cascade of stress hormones either way."
*"The first step toward freedom is understanding that carrying everyone else's emotional weight isn't compassion. It's a learned pattern that likely began long before you had the words to describe it. Research in developmental psychology shows that many over-givers were once children who learned that their worth was tied to how well they could attend to others' needs."
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