What do you think?
Rate this book
It's. Nice. Outside.
Meet John Nichols. He's fifty-something years old, an ex-basketball player, ex-author, ex-philanderer, ex-husband, ex-high school English teacher. And he's the father of three: two overachieving adult daughters and 19-year-old Ethan, who will never be an adult. John's older daughter is getting married, and as the family members travel to the celebration, John is secretly preparing for a life change that will alter his family's hearts forever.
The five Nichols' are held together by love and humor, as well as the spiky parts of sisterly competition and a difficult baby brother. Parents John and Mary have devoted themselves to caregiving, and John especially finds himself caught in the tension between being a parent and being true to himself. So when a new challenge comes their way in the wake of a road trip and wedding plans, the family bonds are stretched and tested. Funny, heartbreaking, and generous, IT'S. NICE. OUTSIDE. asks: What happens when you have to let go of the person who has been holding you up?
The five Nichols' are held together by love and humor, as well as the spiky parts of sisterly competition and a difficult baby brother. Parents John and Mary have devoted themselves to caregiving, and John especially finds himself caught in the tension between being a parent and being true to himself. So when a new challenge comes their way in the wake of a road trip and wedding plans, the family bonds are stretched and tested. Funny, heartbreaking, and generous, IT'S. NICE. OUTSIDE. asks: What happens when you have to let go of the person who has been holding you up?
320 pages, Hardcover
First published December 8, 2015
44 people are currently reading
4034 people want to read
About the author
Jim Kokoris
15 books74 followersChicago-area novelist Jim Kokoris is the author of three books, "The Rich Part of Life," "Sister North," and "The Pursuit of Other Interests." His books have been published in 15 languages and have been optioned for film consideration. The winner of The Friends Of American Writers Award for Best First Novel ( 2001), his humor essays have appeared regularly in The Chicago Tribune Sunday Magazine.
He is married and has three sons.
He is married and has three sons.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 313 reviews
October 7, 2015
Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review. Many thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for making it available!
A dysfunctional family and a road trip: could you ask for anything more from a book?
John Nichols is 57. He's an ex-basketball player, ex-author, ex-philanderer, ex-husband, ex-high-school English teacher, or, as he likes to put it, "A. Lot. Of. Exes." He and his ex-wife Mary are parents to three children: high-strung queen bee Karen, rising comic star Mindy, and 19-year-old Ethan, who is developmentally challenged and autistic. Raising Ethan was the root cause of much of the friction that the Nichols family dealt with, as they tried to navigate his various phases, mercurial moods, and assorted demands, but he also provides them many moments of pure joy and unconditional love.
When Karen is scheduled to get married in South Carolina, John decides that he and Ethan will drive from their home in Illinois to the wedding. He's hoping for some good bonding time with his son—they'll visit the scene of John's college glory days, meet up with a neighbor, play some basketball—and John is also hoping the time in the car will inspire him to find a direction for the rest of his life. But the journey to South Carolina is fraught with crises and family drama, and while at times Ethan has his moments, at other times he's the easiest to deal with.
But things are about to get a lot more complicated, as John prepares to share with his family a life-changing decision he has made. It will send all of them on a road trip fraught with emotions and anger, force them to re-evaluate their relationships with one another, and be honest with themselves. This is a quirky, sweet, emotional story of what holds a family together and what tears them apart, and how sometimes the things we take for granted are the things we need the most.
I enjoyed this book, even if I wasn't necessarily surprised by the plot. Jim Kokoris has created a motley crew of characters, many of whom seem one-dimensional at first but are more complex than you think, and he makes you care about them. Ethan seems like a special person, and I think Kokoris accurately captured the push-and-pull of emotions and frustrations that come with a family member whose needs are more complicated than others'.
It's. Nice. Outside. is a book with both heart and humor (especially the conversations John creates for a group of Ethan's stuffed bears), and it will make you feel at least a tiny bit warm and fuzzy inside.
See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
A dysfunctional family and a road trip: could you ask for anything more from a book?
John Nichols is 57. He's an ex-basketball player, ex-author, ex-philanderer, ex-husband, ex-high-school English teacher, or, as he likes to put it, "A. Lot. Of. Exes." He and his ex-wife Mary are parents to three children: high-strung queen bee Karen, rising comic star Mindy, and 19-year-old Ethan, who is developmentally challenged and autistic. Raising Ethan was the root cause of much of the friction that the Nichols family dealt with, as they tried to navigate his various phases, mercurial moods, and assorted demands, but he also provides them many moments of pure joy and unconditional love.
When Karen is scheduled to get married in South Carolina, John decides that he and Ethan will drive from their home in Illinois to the wedding. He's hoping for some good bonding time with his son—they'll visit the scene of John's college glory days, meet up with a neighbor, play some basketball—and John is also hoping the time in the car will inspire him to find a direction for the rest of his life. But the journey to South Carolina is fraught with crises and family drama, and while at times Ethan has his moments, at other times he's the easiest to deal with.
But things are about to get a lot more complicated, as John prepares to share with his family a life-changing decision he has made. It will send all of them on a road trip fraught with emotions and anger, force them to re-evaluate their relationships with one another, and be honest with themselves. This is a quirky, sweet, emotional story of what holds a family together and what tears them apart, and how sometimes the things we take for granted are the things we need the most.
I enjoyed this book, even if I wasn't necessarily surprised by the plot. Jim Kokoris has created a motley crew of characters, many of whom seem one-dimensional at first but are more complex than you think, and he makes you care about them. Ethan seems like a special person, and I think Kokoris accurately captured the push-and-pull of emotions and frustrations that come with a family member whose needs are more complicated than others'.
It's. Nice. Outside. is a book with both heart and humor (especially the conversations John creates for a group of Ethan's stuffed bears), and it will make you feel at least a tiny bit warm and fuzzy inside.
See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
October 11, 2015
Jim Kokoris probably won’t win any literary awards. He won’t be written up as a master of metafiction and the new hot author to watch. But in this book – indeed, in all the books of his that I’ve read – there is something achingly real and downright poignant that makes me want to get lost within the pages.
Here he focuses on John Nichols, a good-hearted yet flawed man, who has had primary responsibility for Ethan, his teenaged autistic son. At the start of the book we learn that John and Ethan are taking a road trip from the Chicago area to Charleston to meet the rest of the family for his eldest daughter’s wedding.
The family consists of Karen, the “queen bee” (some might say ice queen) who will be marrying a wealthy man with some very decided character flaws. Mindy, the second daughter, is an up-and-coming comedienne on the cusp of becoming really famous. And Mary, John’s ex-wife, will be there as well. As a result of an affair, she has divorced him but John still is carrying the torch for her. John intends to spring a surprise on the family once he arrives and the second part of this book is how that particular plot twist plays out.
I am not an expert on autism and I don’t know if Jim Kokoris has had personal family experience with it. I do, however, have friends with autistic sons and the portrayal of Ethan is – to me – exceptionally genuine. “My life with my son had been anything but easy,” John relates, and we learn that he’s not kidding. Ethan is full of tics (he constantly says things like, “Why. Mad?” or “Where. Mom. Be?” or “Family, family, family. USA.”) and sometimes he’ll “pull a Tonto” and fall to the ground. When he wants something, he wants it now (“I. Starving.”) Yet there’s a connection between John and Ethan that defies all the challenges and drills down to the very nature of love.
When Jim Kokoris takes on the messy family dynamics – the shared past, failed opportunities, search for one’s real role, love and guilt – he is at his zenith. The book alternates between funny and heartbreaking but at the end of the day, it’s about one family and their road to discovering what “Family, family, family, USA” really means.
Here he focuses on John Nichols, a good-hearted yet flawed man, who has had primary responsibility for Ethan, his teenaged autistic son. At the start of the book we learn that John and Ethan are taking a road trip from the Chicago area to Charleston to meet the rest of the family for his eldest daughter’s wedding.
The family consists of Karen, the “queen bee” (some might say ice queen) who will be marrying a wealthy man with some very decided character flaws. Mindy, the second daughter, is an up-and-coming comedienne on the cusp of becoming really famous. And Mary, John’s ex-wife, will be there as well. As a result of an affair, she has divorced him but John still is carrying the torch for her. John intends to spring a surprise on the family once he arrives and the second part of this book is how that particular plot twist plays out.
I am not an expert on autism and I don’t know if Jim Kokoris has had personal family experience with it. I do, however, have friends with autistic sons and the portrayal of Ethan is – to me – exceptionally genuine. “My life with my son had been anything but easy,” John relates, and we learn that he’s not kidding. Ethan is full of tics (he constantly says things like, “Why. Mad?” or “Where. Mom. Be?” or “Family, family, family. USA.”) and sometimes he’ll “pull a Tonto” and fall to the ground. When he wants something, he wants it now (“I. Starving.”) Yet there’s a connection between John and Ethan that defies all the challenges and drills down to the very nature of love.
When Jim Kokoris takes on the messy family dynamics – the shared past, failed opportunities, search for one’s real role, love and guilt – he is at his zenith. The book alternates between funny and heartbreaking but at the end of the day, it’s about one family and their road to discovering what “Family, family, family, USA” really means.
October 10, 2015
It’s no coincidence that nineteen-year-old Ethan Nichols, is the primary passenger in his father’s Honda “Odyssey,” as they head out from the tony suburb of Wilton, Illinois toward Ethan’s sister’s wedding in South Carolina. This undertaking is also a dramady adventure for the entire Nichols family. John describes himself in “exes”—ex-husband, ex-philanderer, ex-teacher, ex-basketball player, ex-writer--basically, all his ambitions X-ed and thwarted. But he’s the man with the Overall Plan.
Mary, the long-suffering (ex) wife, hasn’t forgiven John his buffoonery of a failed affair. Middle child Mindy, a comedienne on Saturday Night Live, filters her feelings via sarcasm, and “Queen Bee” self-contained bond broker and bride-to-be, Karen, has never cried. And Ethan? Ethan is on the extreme end of the autism spectrum, born with an extra chromosome, which inhibits intellectual development; he will always be a three-year-old child, although he is now in an adult-like body.
What starts out as the first road trip between father and son turns into a fractured family odyssey of Guilt and Doubt, damage control, volatile bonding, and, finally, destination. Configurations change, planning and direction is constantly recalibrated, exhaustion is inevitable. All the dirty laundry comes out, (as well as some Jim Beam), but so does strength and courage. Ethan’s rituals and mannerisms typically turn a one-hour event into a three-hour folly.
If you’ve ever been with a severely autistic individual, you’ll recognize the behaviors. I am a pediatric psychiatric nurse that works primarily with autistic children on the extreme end of the spectrum; I assert that this is one of the most genuine portrayals of autism in fiction. Ethan is both infuriating and infectious—he’s never anything but himself, no guile, no pretense.
You will laugh while your heart is breaking. Kokoris has a pitch-perfect way with words and his dialogue has immaculate timing. There are no boring moments. It’s cinematic—I could visualize the movie version, but it isn’t hack humor. It’s fierce and deadpan and often awkward and dark. Additionally, the family members periodically use props, like teddy bears, to entertain Ethan, to keep him engaged and from acting out. And then there’s the family song that he demands, often at inopportune times.
“He also loved his family. If we were all together, he would bring us into a circle, make us hold hands, and sing, ’Family! Family! U!...S!...Aaaaa!’”
If they are at “threat level,” such as “orange,” they have to capitulate to Ethan or try to remove him from whatever stimuli is making him escalate. Sometimes Overall Plan turns to Fallback plan. Ethan is both the disruptive dynamic in the family and also the cement.
“When you had a child like Ethan, bitterness was a constant temptation. It was always there, scratching at your door, trying to lure you to dark places.”
“I love him…Every time I think I am incapable of love, I think about him. I think, man, I love him, like a pure love…Ethan kind of makes me normal. He makes me be nice. I’m not a nice person, but around him, I’m not that bad.”
At first, when the story opens, I felt at arm’s length from Ethan. But, the author developed him so precisely and skillfully that, in the end, I felt that I’d known him his whole life. From his love of pickles, Sprite, basketball, family, Stinky Bear, and Cracker Barrel restaurants, to his terse, “Where. Mom. Be?” Go! Illini!” “Shut. Up. Idiot!” “Why? Mad?” and his various tics, traits, and his candid naïveté, I grew to know him intimately, as if I were a member of the Nichols family, too. He compelled them to see the worst in themselves, but he inspired them to be the best, too.
And, now, John and family must come to terms with difficult decisions that stir emotions and generate heated conflict. What to do with Ethan was looming ahead; the family were at a crossroads. Divisive, indecisive. Coming together while they are almost falling apart required both courage and vulnerability. Finally, the long family journey comes to a satisfying end. Rolling thunder. Blue skies.
“It’s! Nice! Outside!”
Mary, the long-suffering (ex) wife, hasn’t forgiven John his buffoonery of a failed affair. Middle child Mindy, a comedienne on Saturday Night Live, filters her feelings via sarcasm, and “Queen Bee” self-contained bond broker and bride-to-be, Karen, has never cried. And Ethan? Ethan is on the extreme end of the autism spectrum, born with an extra chromosome, which inhibits intellectual development; he will always be a three-year-old child, although he is now in an adult-like body.
What starts out as the first road trip between father and son turns into a fractured family odyssey of Guilt and Doubt, damage control, volatile bonding, and, finally, destination. Configurations change, planning and direction is constantly recalibrated, exhaustion is inevitable. All the dirty laundry comes out, (as well as some Jim Beam), but so does strength and courage. Ethan’s rituals and mannerisms typically turn a one-hour event into a three-hour folly.
If you’ve ever been with a severely autistic individual, you’ll recognize the behaviors. I am a pediatric psychiatric nurse that works primarily with autistic children on the extreme end of the spectrum; I assert that this is one of the most genuine portrayals of autism in fiction. Ethan is both infuriating and infectious—he’s never anything but himself, no guile, no pretense.
You will laugh while your heart is breaking. Kokoris has a pitch-perfect way with words and his dialogue has immaculate timing. There are no boring moments. It’s cinematic—I could visualize the movie version, but it isn’t hack humor. It’s fierce and deadpan and often awkward and dark. Additionally, the family members periodically use props, like teddy bears, to entertain Ethan, to keep him engaged and from acting out. And then there’s the family song that he demands, often at inopportune times.
“He also loved his family. If we were all together, he would bring us into a circle, make us hold hands, and sing, ’Family! Family! U!...S!...Aaaaa!’”
If they are at “threat level,” such as “orange,” they have to capitulate to Ethan or try to remove him from whatever stimuli is making him escalate. Sometimes Overall Plan turns to Fallback plan. Ethan is both the disruptive dynamic in the family and also the cement.
“When you had a child like Ethan, bitterness was a constant temptation. It was always there, scratching at your door, trying to lure you to dark places.”
“I love him…Every time I think I am incapable of love, I think about him. I think, man, I love him, like a pure love…Ethan kind of makes me normal. He makes me be nice. I’m not a nice person, but around him, I’m not that bad.”
At first, when the story opens, I felt at arm’s length from Ethan. But, the author developed him so precisely and skillfully that, in the end, I felt that I’d known him his whole life. From his love of pickles, Sprite, basketball, family, Stinky Bear, and Cracker Barrel restaurants, to his terse, “Where. Mom. Be?” Go! Illini!” “Shut. Up. Idiot!” “Why? Mad?” and his various tics, traits, and his candid naïveté, I grew to know him intimately, as if I were a member of the Nichols family, too. He compelled them to see the worst in themselves, but he inspired them to be the best, too.
And, now, John and family must come to terms with difficult decisions that stir emotions and generate heated conflict. What to do with Ethan was looming ahead; the family were at a crossroads. Divisive, indecisive. Coming together while they are almost falling apart required both courage and vulnerability. Finally, the long family journey comes to a satisfying end. Rolling thunder. Blue skies.
“It’s! Nice! Outside!”
January 20, 2016
I found myself liking and enjoying this book a little more each page--until the very last page when I realized that I loved it.
January 30, 2020
This very funny, sweet, authentic, and moving road trip from hell, told in the first person by beleaguered but ever-clever and self-sabotaging John Nichols, a divorced school teacher, with his family, including developmentally impaired nineteen-year-old (think three years old), son, Ethan, begs to be a movie starring Hugh Grant doing a killer American accent.
If not for the roaring laughs it would have been unbearable, but the laughs were medicinally placed for maximum relief.
I have many friends with special needs kids or siblings and, as a New York City voyeur, I have watched one such girl grow from a non-vocal child into a terrifyingly powerful woman who marches and suddenly sits down on the street, accompanied by her saint of a full-time attendant who waits out her "tic:" a habit of bellowing, "Fuck you!" at all passersby. I have voyeur's guilt as I give the two of them space; the girl also has amazing spitting velocity and projection. I've heard the stories of taking such kids into stores and dealing with civilians like me who try to smile normally but are full of judgments, and I've felt guilty, but also glad I don't have to deal with this in my life. My challenges are real, but not 24/7 like the parents of such kids.
But in this book, I got to be a 24/7 fly on the wall, and it was painful, heartbreaking, and hysterically funny. I'm glad to have had the opportunity to take in this experience from a safe distance, and I'm in awe of the people who do it up close and forever.
If not for the roaring laughs it would have been unbearable, but the laughs were medicinally placed for maximum relief.
I have many friends with special needs kids or siblings and, as a New York City voyeur, I have watched one such girl grow from a non-vocal child into a terrifyingly powerful woman who marches and suddenly sits down on the street, accompanied by her saint of a full-time attendant who waits out her "tic:" a habit of bellowing, "Fuck you!" at all passersby. I have voyeur's guilt as I give the two of them space; the girl also has amazing spitting velocity and projection. I've heard the stories of taking such kids into stores and dealing with civilians like me who try to smile normally but are full of judgments, and I've felt guilty, but also glad I don't have to deal with this in my life. My challenges are real, but not 24/7 like the parents of such kids.
But in this book, I got to be a 24/7 fly on the wall, and it was painful, heartbreaking, and hysterically funny. I'm glad to have had the opportunity to take in this experience from a safe distance, and I'm in awe of the people who do it up close and forever.
November 11, 2015
John Nichols is tired. He's newly divorced (after cheating on his wife), and though he and his ex-wife share custody of their 19-year old autistic son, Ethan, John generally acts as primary caretaker. John tries very hard to be the best father to Ethan he can be (while also being a good father to his other two daughters), but, truthfully, his daily routine is grueling, exhausting. Ethan requires ALL of John's attention, so John ends up not having much to give to himself or anyone else.
So he comes up with a plan--a plan that will hopefully help Ethan live a better life, while simultaneously giving the rest of the family (especially John) a break. The problem is, no one else in the family knows about it yet. While John knows he needs to fess up to his family, his oldest daughter's wedding is taking up everyone else's energy. So John decides to keep his news to himself...until he can't anymore, and then ish hits the fan.
Even from the first few pages, I knew I was going to like this book. John is FUNNY. Oh my God, the conversations between the Bears is hilarious. Seriously, I would read a whole book of just those interactions. But John is more than that. He's thoughtful and a little bit broken, a little bit lost. He wallows but also manages to pull himself out of it just before he becomes self-indulgent. He's honest and transparent. And even though he's screwed up a bunch, he's also still trying, and I had to admire the guy for that.
The other characters in this book are also well-executed. John's daughter, Mindy, steals the show, in my opinion. She's smart, witty, and the perfect amount of offensive. I also appreciate how truthful the portrayal of Ethan is. My husband's cousin is severely autistic, and we've seen how hard it is on a family to take care of an autistic child, especially as they become adults. It's not an easy situation to be in, and Kokoris' portrayal of this struggle is right on.
Ultimately, It's. Nice. Outisde. is an engaging, funny, thoughtful, yet strangely lighthearted, peek at a family struggling through major life transitions. The subject matter is unique, and even though it could have leaned dark and depressing, Kokoris' playful touch makes the book easy to digest. Overall, a very satisfying read.
So he comes up with a plan--a plan that will hopefully help Ethan live a better life, while simultaneously giving the rest of the family (especially John) a break. The problem is, no one else in the family knows about it yet. While John knows he needs to fess up to his family, his oldest daughter's wedding is taking up everyone else's energy. So John decides to keep his news to himself...until he can't anymore, and then ish hits the fan.
Even from the first few pages, I knew I was going to like this book. John is FUNNY. Oh my God, the conversations between the Bears is hilarious. Seriously, I would read a whole book of just those interactions. But John is more than that. He's thoughtful and a little bit broken, a little bit lost. He wallows but also manages to pull himself out of it just before he becomes self-indulgent. He's honest and transparent. And even though he's screwed up a bunch, he's also still trying, and I had to admire the guy for that.
The other characters in this book are also well-executed. John's daughter, Mindy, steals the show, in my opinion. She's smart, witty, and the perfect amount of offensive. I also appreciate how truthful the portrayal of Ethan is. My husband's cousin is severely autistic, and we've seen how hard it is on a family to take care of an autistic child, especially as they become adults. It's not an easy situation to be in, and Kokoris' portrayal of this struggle is right on.
Ultimately, It's. Nice. Outisde. is an engaging, funny, thoughtful, yet strangely lighthearted, peek at a family struggling through major life transitions. The subject matter is unique, and even though it could have leaned dark and depressing, Kokoris' playful touch makes the book easy to digest. Overall, a very satisfying read.
January 10, 2016
"Everyone is waiting for us in Charleston, South Carolina. That's a long way. We're going to drive there. Isn't that fun? Isn't that crazy? Mom thinks I'm crazy for doing this. I'm starting to think I'm crazy for doing this, and we haven't even pulled out of the driveway. Isn't that crazy? Yes, sir, it sure is. Yes, sir."
John Nichols is driving cross country with his son Ethan to attend his eldest daughter's wedding. He once dreamed of taking aimlessly to the open road, but this trip requires factoring in Ethan's restlessness, frequent meltdowns, bathroom breaks and stops for pickles at Cracker Barrel. Born with an extra chromosome resulting in global cognitive delays, Ethan is essentially a nineteen year old toddler and though John fiercely loves his son, he is exhausted by the demands of caring for him.
Little of John's life has turned out as he expected, at 57 he is an ex-basketballer player, ex-author, ex-philanderer, ex-husband, ex-high-school English teacher' but now John has an 'Overall Plan'. Phase I is getting to the wedding on time, Phase II will be a little more complicated.
Jim Kokoris' fourth novel, It's. Nice. Outside. is a funny, honest and moving novel about family, love, regret, joy, doubt and hope.
The trip is fraught with emotion, reflection and re-evaluation, beset by crisis when Karen's wedding is cancelled, contention when youngest daughter Mindy joins them, and chaos when John finally reveals his Overall Plan to his ex-wife. John is convinced he is doing the right thing for his son, for his family and as he admits, for himself, but letting go maybe the thing that tears them all apart.
"I kept thinking that if we stuck together, we would eventually get to where everything was going to be fine. That we were going to make it, all of us. We were going to arrive someplace together and be fine.... A happy ending"
I laughed loudly at Stinky Bear ("a sassy, horny little teddy bear, full of insightful and often...outrageous comments about life, love, and the state of the civilisation." and was moved by John's frustrations and angst. Primarily though I felt compassion for the family's very real struggle to determine what is best for Ethan.
Kokoris's dialogue is sharp and snappy and the interactions between the various characters ring true. The author's sense of comedic timing is impeccable, clever and hilarious, though also often dark and acerbic. Well crafted, the pace of the story is great and events unfold naturally.
I was really impressed by It's.Nice.Outside. for Kokoris's wit and candor and the insight into a complicated family dynamic.
December 7, 2015
I've been a fan of Mr. Kokoris beginning with his first book "The Rich Part of Life." I didn't think he could write a novel I would enjoy more but he, and "It's. Nice. Outside." surprised me. I won't summarize the plot because so many reviewers have done that already. I will say that the depth and range of emotions in this novel were amazing. I have no personal experience with autism, but after my cross-country journey with John and Ethan in their silver Honda Odyssey I have a deeper appreciation for parents living the daily struggle it represents. Ethan's story is difficult and messy at times, like life. But the unexpected ending and the love and humor demonstrated by the entire extended family is so heartwarming and real that I was sad when our journey came to an end. The viciously funny relationship of Ethan's sisters, Mindy and Karen, is worthy of its own novel. I will never admit to crying from reading a book, but I will caution the more sensitive reader to have tissues close at hand. In closing I offer a special shout out to the John's and Mary's of this world raising special needs children. Mr. Kokoris has given us a beautifully written look into your world.
October 30, 2015
Poor John Nichols, fifty-seven, has a lot on his plate. Father to (2) grown daughters and a nineteen year-old developmentally challenged son who often behaves like a 3 year-old, John's also divorced from Mary, a woman he still loves -- she kicked him out after he cheated on her.
"Note: I wasn't a full-fledged philanderer. In more than thirty years of marriage, I only stepped out with one woman, lovely Rita, and it didn't last long. Then I came to my senses, confessed all, begged forgiveness, had a bar of soap thrown at my head, had a bar of soap hit me in the head, and was told to move out. Nine months later I was a divorced fifty-five year old man, living alone, trying to decide whether to have Dominos for lunch, and mac and cheese for dinner, or mac and cheese for lunch and Dominos for dinner."
John's had more disappointments in life as well, he's an ex-basketball player, ex-English teacher, and one-time author. One thing he's sure about is that he cares deeply for his family. He evens attends a support group for parents with special needs kids. (Ethan's diagnosis was global brain damage - an extra chromosome on the 9th cell and later classified as mildly autistic.)
The story begins with John and son Ethan traveling by van from Illinois to South Carolina for daughter Karen's wedding. John decided to take the car route with Ethan as last time they traveled by plane Ethan had a meltdown and the results were disastrous. This trip proves challenging as well, as along the way Ethan tests his father's patience and the trip takes much longer than planned.
When the family eventually hooks up both Karen and John have unexpected news to share with the family that shocks the other family members.
This was such a sweet story. The author does an amazing job for capturing what life might be life for parents with children developmental challenges. Readers who love heartfelt stories and reading about quirky characters and dysfunctional families should give this one a try. I was so happy I tried this one. I definitely plan to read other books by this author - this was my kind of story for sure.
4.5/5 stars
"Note: I wasn't a full-fledged philanderer. In more than thirty years of marriage, I only stepped out with one woman, lovely Rita, and it didn't last long. Then I came to my senses, confessed all, begged forgiveness, had a bar of soap thrown at my head, had a bar of soap hit me in the head, and was told to move out. Nine months later I was a divorced fifty-five year old man, living alone, trying to decide whether to have Dominos for lunch, and mac and cheese for dinner, or mac and cheese for lunch and Dominos for dinner."
John's had more disappointments in life as well, he's an ex-basketball player, ex-English teacher, and one-time author. One thing he's sure about is that he cares deeply for his family. He evens attends a support group for parents with special needs kids. (Ethan's diagnosis was global brain damage - an extra chromosome on the 9th cell and later classified as mildly autistic.)
The story begins with John and son Ethan traveling by van from Illinois to South Carolina for daughter Karen's wedding. John decided to take the car route with Ethan as last time they traveled by plane Ethan had a meltdown and the results were disastrous. This trip proves challenging as well, as along the way Ethan tests his father's patience and the trip takes much longer than planned.
When the family eventually hooks up both Karen and John have unexpected news to share with the family that shocks the other family members.
This was such a sweet story. The author does an amazing job for capturing what life might be life for parents with children developmental challenges. Readers who love heartfelt stories and reading about quirky characters and dysfunctional families should give this one a try. I was so happy I tried this one. I definitely plan to read other books by this author - this was my kind of story for sure.
4.5/5 stars
December 11, 2018
If you're looking for a book that is a fun read, but isn't frivolous; or one that investigates relationships in a family with a special-needs child, but isn't too serious; or something with interesting and introspective characters who aren't self-centered (at least, not exclusively); then this may be the book for you. Find out why in my review here. https://tcl-bookreviews.com/2015/11/1...
April 15, 2016
This is the PERFECT book. Everyone (ok, three people) said I'd love it and I did! I truly felt for this family whose lives primarily revolve around 19-year-old autistic son, Ethan. I laughed out loud, I cried. I would more than highly recommend this book. And it needs more publicity - why isn't anyone writing about this book??? Nikki was right - now I have to buy the hard copy so Jim Kokoris can sign it. So excited I will be meeting him in June! (Thanks, Ronna!)
February 28, 2016
What an amazing and essential book. Offering such extraordinary insight into the struggles and challenges that every member of the family faces when they have a child with severe behavioural and learning disabilities. This swayed from laugh out loud good humour (I hope to never forget the scenario of the sisters coming home from a Tequila bender) to the most heart-wrenching moments as family members reach breaking point on their road trip across America, venting years of frustrations, and exposing the very depths of exhaustion and despair that they face on more days than any human ought to.
Firstly, I was left humbled and in awe of the strength, courage and resilience that those living with special needs family members, find within. Every. Single. Day. These are the true heroes in our world, and I closed this book only wishing that there was more that could be done to support them in the tumultuous world they are thrown into from the moment they hear those most heart-breaking diagnoses. Yet, lastly, the throbbing in the centre of my chest, reminds me that above all that, I am left breathless at the incredible amount of love that is shared within these families. Love that sustains them, and makes their journeys utterly miraculous. And how often, it is the tiniest miracle of kindness, shown by complete strangers, that will help get them through another of those single days, that most of us, couldn't even imagine going through.
"This was, fortunately, not an uncommon occurrence. Over the years, numerous times, too many times to count, just as I was about to reach my breaking point, just when I thought I couldn't take another minute, another second, out of nowhere - at the grocery story, at the park, at restaurants - angels, Ethan's angels, would appear and save us: strangers in stores would stop to talk to Ethan; neighbours took him for walks. Once a truck driver in a parking lot, someone I had never seen before, or ever again, gave Ethan his baseball cap. Another time, while Ethan was in the midst of a meltdown in a parking lot, a policeman distracted him by letting him sit in a squad car. These acts, simple and impulsive, kept me going, reaffirmed my belief in God, in a universe that could, at least at times, mean well. I stretched out my legs farther, exhaled. We had a long way to go; I hoped their were a lot of angels still out there."
And this is exactly why I call this book essential. Because it is a reminder that we are all offered opportunities to be someone's quiet angel. Every. Single. Day.
Firstly, I was left humbled and in awe of the strength, courage and resilience that those living with special needs family members, find within. Every. Single. Day. These are the true heroes in our world, and I closed this book only wishing that there was more that could be done to support them in the tumultuous world they are thrown into from the moment they hear those most heart-breaking diagnoses. Yet, lastly, the throbbing in the centre of my chest, reminds me that above all that, I am left breathless at the incredible amount of love that is shared within these families. Love that sustains them, and makes their journeys utterly miraculous. And how often, it is the tiniest miracle of kindness, shown by complete strangers, that will help get them through another of those single days, that most of us, couldn't even imagine going through.
"This was, fortunately, not an uncommon occurrence. Over the years, numerous times, too many times to count, just as I was about to reach my breaking point, just when I thought I couldn't take another minute, another second, out of nowhere - at the grocery story, at the park, at restaurants - angels, Ethan's angels, would appear and save us: strangers in stores would stop to talk to Ethan; neighbours took him for walks. Once a truck driver in a parking lot, someone I had never seen before, or ever again, gave Ethan his baseball cap. Another time, while Ethan was in the midst of a meltdown in a parking lot, a policeman distracted him by letting him sit in a squad car. These acts, simple and impulsive, kept me going, reaffirmed my belief in God, in a universe that could, at least at times, mean well. I stretched out my legs farther, exhaled. We had a long way to go; I hoped their were a lot of angels still out there."
And this is exactly why I call this book essential. Because it is a reminder that we are all offered opportunities to be someone's quiet angel. Every. Single. Day.
February 16, 2018
This book addresses an issue that you might hear about, or maybe not depending on your social circle. What do the parents do or think about for their disabled child once the parents die? What will happen to that child that cannot live or function on its own without help?
That is one of the demons haunting John. He has an autistic son that will never be able to live on his own and will always need some sort of care. Sure he has two older daughters, but taking care of Ethan is a full-time job for anyone and is it fair to expect the siblings to take care of Ethan for the rest of his (or their) life?
While fiction, this book really touches home as I have an autistic stepson. He is higher functioning and could potentially live on his own, but there are so many things that I worry about that may be common sense to me but are not to him. What would I do if he was more like Ethan?
The stress the family endures is realistic. The memories the daughters have about growing up are probably what others feel living with a sibling like Ethan. While Mindy and Karen's comments about taking care of Ethan are noble, it is not realistic or truly feasible.
The story is a journey that made me sit back and take notice of facilities available for special needs individuals and who will bear the cost of taking care of these individuals 30, 40 and even 50 years in the future?
My only "complaint" is that there are too many f* bombs. The book would still have been just as good with fewer of that word.
I chose this as our book club's read for this month and will be interested to hear what the others think.
That is one of the demons haunting John. He has an autistic son that will never be able to live on his own and will always need some sort of care. Sure he has two older daughters, but taking care of Ethan is a full-time job for anyone and is it fair to expect the siblings to take care of Ethan for the rest of his (or their) life?
While fiction, this book really touches home as I have an autistic stepson. He is higher functioning and could potentially live on his own, but there are so many things that I worry about that may be common sense to me but are not to him. What would I do if he was more like Ethan?
The stress the family endures is realistic. The memories the daughters have about growing up are probably what others feel living with a sibling like Ethan. While Mindy and Karen's comments about taking care of Ethan are noble, it is not realistic or truly feasible.
The story is a journey that made me sit back and take notice of facilities available for special needs individuals and who will bear the cost of taking care of these individuals 30, 40 and even 50 years in the future?
My only "complaint" is that there are too many f* bombs. The book would still have been just as good with fewer of that word.
I chose this as our book club's read for this month and will be interested to hear what the others think.
November 4, 2015
It's. Nice. Outside. is one of the best books I've read this year. It's got humor, drama, heartbreak, lovable characters, a great story, and great writing. It's not a literary novel by any means but it's entertaining and touching and I loved the entire thing.
John Nichols is on a road trip with his 19 year old son Ethan. They're driving from Illinois to South Carolina to attend John's oldest daughter's wedding. They're driving because Ethan doesn't do well on airplanes. Ethan has trisomy 9 mosaicism and is also mildly autistic, Though doctors predicted he may never walk or talk, Ethan does both. He's also really good at shooting hoops. He loves pickles and Sprite and his family. He's also frequently difficult to deal with. He throws tantrums, licks everything and requires constant supervision. This road trip to Karen's wedding is not easy. John's ex-wife Mary is already there and she's upset that Jon isn't there yet. Karen's sister Mindy, Princeton grad and SNL cast member, is dragging her feet about going to the wedding. She and her sister haven't gotten along in a while and Mindy feels like Karen doesn't want her semi-famous sister there to steal her limelight. John convinces Mindy to meet him and Ethan in Knoxville, Tennessee and drive the rest of the way with them. Before they can get there, the wedding is called off and Mindy learns John's secret plan for the days following the wedding. The result is a road trip for the entire family, full of contention and hilarity.
John Nichols is on a road trip with his 19 year old son Ethan. They're driving from Illinois to South Carolina to attend John's oldest daughter's wedding. They're driving because Ethan doesn't do well on airplanes. Ethan has trisomy 9 mosaicism and is also mildly autistic, Though doctors predicted he may never walk or talk, Ethan does both. He's also really good at shooting hoops. He loves pickles and Sprite and his family. He's also frequently difficult to deal with. He throws tantrums, licks everything and requires constant supervision. This road trip to Karen's wedding is not easy. John's ex-wife Mary is already there and she's upset that Jon isn't there yet. Karen's sister Mindy, Princeton grad and SNL cast member, is dragging her feet about going to the wedding. She and her sister haven't gotten along in a while and Mindy feels like Karen doesn't want her semi-famous sister there to steal her limelight. John convinces Mindy to meet him and Ethan in Knoxville, Tennessee and drive the rest of the way with them. Before they can get there, the wedding is called off and Mindy learns John's secret plan for the days following the wedding. The result is a road trip for the entire family, full of contention and hilarity.
January 26, 2016
This was the most enjoyable book I've read in a while. I was literally laughing aloud while reading it; a very rare event for me. It's a poignant story of a family with a severely disabled child. A rather dysfunctional family. A family that loves each other but one where each has loved, grown and suffered differently. We've all seen the stress a child with an illness or disability can create and we have also observed that the ramifications can be very different for each parent and sibling. In this book the father plays the role of peacemaker; most of the time. It raised many questions for me about that role and when it is better to just listen empathetically rather than to always be defending the other. Oh and have some tissues ready as well. When you're not laughing you may be crying.
Added Bonus: The father and son are big Fighting Illini fans. I was actually at the NCAA tournament game with my son that they continually describe in the book.
Added Bonus: The father and son are big Fighting Illini fans. I was actually at the NCAA tournament game with my son that they continually describe in the book.
November 11, 2015
Interesting. Over the past couple of years, I've read 5 books addressing the subject of autism, and all have been written by men, and the character with autism, with one exception, has been a son. That one exception was a remarkable book by a person with autism. There is another book, this time a memoir -- Father's Day by Buzz Bissinger, in which his son had been brain damaged at birth, causing irreparable damage, but which is not autism per say. Still, there were elements of this current book that reminded me of that book in particular, since it involves taking a road trip with his son. Apparently, Kokoris knows of what he speaks since he has an autistic son. The scenes of interaction ring very true, heartbreakingly so. The effects of the challenges presented by having a member of the family with "global brain damage" are particularly poignant. There are two daughters whose lives could have been marginalized by the attention and disruptions, but this is a particularly loving family, a fact that comes out in the second part of the book where everyone finds themselves thrown together on a long trip after living apart for years. There are parts that are truly hilarious, and not in a black comedic sense.
March 17, 2016
I lOVED this book! I loved the story! I loved the characters! Every single one of them! Lately I've been struggling with the fact that I don't care about many of the main characters in books. I fell in love with this family. Their struggles were real, and the humor in which they dealt with them, especially the main character, kept me smiling through all their difficult times. The ending isn't shocking, but it's real. I can totally see this situation ending the way it did. It made perfect sense. This is a new favorite for me!
January 20, 2016
Wow. WOW! wow. I want more. I really loved this highly dysfunctional family, their extended family and their bears. If you like unconventional characters, road trips, and feel-good endings, this book is for you. If you ever loved a child, read it. If you ever made a dumb mistake, read it. If your family ever embarrassed you, read it! When. be? next book.
I laughed out loud numerous times. I got choked up. Did I say I loved it?
I laughed out loud numerous times. I got choked up. Did I say I loved it?
January 20, 2016
It's. Great. Wow.
August 4, 2017
This is at times a hard book to read. Hard in the sense that it is so real. The language is strong, and the people made me crazy at times, but I felt I had a glimpse of what it would be like to live in their dysfunction. It also is extremely funny at times. It is the story of an ordinary family raising a special needs son and trying desperately to have a normal life. The characters are flawed, honest, real and frustrating at times. I got irritated with every character, but I liked that it showed their emotions so well. This seems like a real story, you can relate so well to the situations they go through.
I worked in a high school that housed a class for multi-handicapped students. I often would see the parents dropping off their children and think about what their lives were like. Our teachers were amazing, and I know the parents appreciated a respite for a few hours each day to be able to go about their daily chores. So many daily activities are unpredictable or completely impossible to even attempt. Eating out is questionable, vacations are an impossibility!
This book did a fantastic job of letting you look into the lives of people with special need children and the roller coaster of emotions that become their everyday adventure.
I forgot to mention, I got this as an advanced reading copy...and it is due to be published on December 8th, 2015.
I worked in a high school that housed a class for multi-handicapped students. I often would see the parents dropping off their children and think about what their lives were like. Our teachers were amazing, and I know the parents appreciated a respite for a few hours each day to be able to go about their daily chores. So many daily activities are unpredictable or completely impossible to even attempt. Eating out is questionable, vacations are an impossibility!
This book did a fantastic job of letting you look into the lives of people with special need children and the roller coaster of emotions that become their everyday adventure.
I forgot to mention, I got this as an advanced reading copy...and it is due to be published on December 8th, 2015.
November 10, 2015
This was a sweet, funny book, which I won in a Goodreads giveaway.
John, the main character, is taking his mentally disabled son across several states--by himself--to his daughter's wedding. The wedding doesn't happen, but the family sets off on an "adventure."
John has issues of his own. He was unfaithful to his wife, resulting in a divorce. He really wants to be back with his wife, but as they travel, the ex-girlfriend keeps calling him. The whole family is a bit kooky, in an interesting way. There is a very funny scene where the two daughters who haven't been getting along get stinko drunk together.
I really enjoyed reading this book. I don't have a handicapped child, but as a nurse I've seen children and adults who behaved like Ethan, and it was frustrating and perplexing. I can't imagine dealing with the behaviors every day. Parents and siblings deserve every bit of respect and admiration they get.
The characters were believable, as was the plot. The subject was serious, but treated in a humorous way. The story moved along quickly, and I was surprised and a bit sad when it was over.
John, the main character, is taking his mentally disabled son across several states--by himself--to his daughter's wedding. The wedding doesn't happen, but the family sets off on an "adventure."
John has issues of his own. He was unfaithful to his wife, resulting in a divorce. He really wants to be back with his wife, but as they travel, the ex-girlfriend keeps calling him. The whole family is a bit kooky, in an interesting way. There is a very funny scene where the two daughters who haven't been getting along get stinko drunk together.
I really enjoyed reading this book. I don't have a handicapped child, but as a nurse I've seen children and adults who behaved like Ethan, and it was frustrating and perplexing. I can't imagine dealing with the behaviors every day. Parents and siblings deserve every bit of respect and admiration they get.
The characters were believable, as was the plot. The subject was serious, but treated in a humorous way. The story moved along quickly, and I was surprised and a bit sad when it was over.
January 2, 2016
Don't. Miss. This.
Jim Kokoris paints a picture of a family--warts and all--filled with laughter, compassion, heartbreak, anger, regret, second thoughts, rage, and most of all love. The characters are flawed in every way, but real and lovable at the same time. From our protagonist John, to ex-wife Mary, to daughters Karen and Mindy to the central Ethan, you are drawn in from the first page. Enjoy!
Jim Kokoris paints a picture of a family--warts and all--filled with laughter, compassion, heartbreak, anger, regret, second thoughts, rage, and most of all love. The characters are flawed in every way, but real and lovable at the same time. From our protagonist John, to ex-wife Mary, to daughters Karen and Mindy to the central Ethan, you are drawn in from the first page. Enjoy!
January 21, 2016
This is a one-of-a-kind road trip, and you'll want to be a passenger. It's a heartbreakingly real glimpse into what it's like to have a special needs child. No wonder it rings of authenticity, since the author based Ethan on his son Andrew. This book is also about family, love, and devotion, with a hearty dose of humor.
January 16, 2016
This heartbreaking, and hilarious novel about a Special Needs boy and his dysfunctional family is a must read! It's. Nice. Outside. Moved me from tears to laughter. I absolutely loved this book and it will remain one of my all time favorites.
July 9, 2016
Heartwarming. A great read. Days later and I'm still thinking about it... I highly recommend it.
January 5, 2016
This was a beautifully written book about fatherhood and being a family. And road trips, Sprite, and three terrific teddy bears.
February 9, 2016
Funny, with great characters. So much more than a book about parenting a boy with special needs.
February 7, 2016
maybe. the. best. book. I've. ever. read.
April 6, 2016
Best book I've read in a very long time!
February 4, 2016
I loved this. I laughed and cried, sometimes at the same time. Family at its best and its worst but always family, taking the next steps together.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 313 reviews