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My Exodus: From Fear to Grace

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In sharing his own story of being a committed believer who has same sex attractions, author, husband, and father Alan Chambers will help you understand the issues from the inside. And as the former president of the largest ex-gay ministry, Alan knows all the arguments, the concerns, the scriptures, and the heartaches. 
My Exodus encourages us to look for and affirm the image of God in everyone. It's a reminder that God is still at work and deeply loves his creation. And it's a book for everyone who wants to be welcoming and loving to all people without compromising their faith or their biblical theology.
Through personal and powerful stories and opening the scriptures, you will come to understand how to love all people and positively engage our culture in the red hot conversations and topics surrounding LGBT and the Church 
Ultimately, My Exodus equips us all to be better and do better in God-honoring ways. By embracing the idea of loving well because we want to and not because we have to, we will find hope for ourselves, for the Church, and for our world.

224 pages, Paperback

First published August 25, 2015

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Alan Chambers

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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
Profile Image for Michelle.
628 reviews235 followers
August 13, 2016
Co-written with his wife Leslie, Alan Chamber's "My Exodus: Leaving the Slavery of Religion, Loving the Image of God in Everyone" recalls his involvement in Christian ministries involving the LGBT community known to many as the "ex-gay" reparative spiritual counseling that was the basis for the Exodus International Organization where he served as president for over a decade.

Deeply ashamed and closeted as a youth, spending tremendous amounts of energy attempting to hide and act as "straight" as possible, "Al" realized he was gay at a young age. Encouraged by his parents to attend a youth retreat at Carpenter's Home Church in Lakeland, Fl. that offered counseling to gay youth, he gradually became involved in these ministries. Relieved there were many others like himself, he met and married Leslie when they were young adults.
The communication between them was very open and honest, which is essential for a successful marriage. Though their story is highly unconventional and doesn't represent a typical gay-straight couple where many are closeted or may divorce, Al and Leslie have a lifetime solid happy marriage and are the parents of two adopted children. They have been terribly judged and criticized by others, as Exodus International came under close public scrutiny/scandal when two of their prominent leaders divorced their wives and married each other. The organization closed in 2013.

This is ideal reading for anyone, or those with an LGBT family member. The story is harder to follow at times, subject matter can change before clarification. Al and Leslie stress acceptance and tolerance-- the love of Christ and the gospel is available for everyone regardless of sexual orientation. I applaud them both for sharing their incredible story.
Profile Image for Anthony VENN-BROWN OAM.
Author 2 books28 followers
July 4, 2017
"Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one" so the saying goes. Never was a truer word spoken about what people think of Alan and Leslie Chambers.

This memoir, mostly written by Alan but with helpful and relevant inserts by Leslie, will either reinforce or shift that opinion. Vilified and praised in different circles now it's time to tell their side of the story.

Alan Chambers was the president of Exodus International for nearly twenty years. He was THE spokesman for the "freedom from homosexuality", "change is possible" message.

Chambers takes us on his journey from early days thinking his was Cindy Brady, his late teens, discovering he was attracted to the same sex, his half-hearted effort to change while leading a double life for eighteen months, meeting Leslie, the development of their relationship and subsequent marriage. In 1993 he joins other young adults at his first Exodus conference seeking answers to overcome his homosexuality. Twenty years later, at a the annual conference he closed it down.

We are taken into the church basement in LA where Alan and Leslie are confronted by thirteen people who have suffered personally because of Exodus. They are angry. Very angry. The arranged encounter is being filmed by Lisa Ling for the Oprah network. Lisa is in tears listening to the ex-gay survivor stories. So different from her previous show where she had access to the 2011 Exodus conference filming others who said Exodus had saved their lives.

People have lots of questions. Is Alan heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual? What made the man, who led the world's largest ex-gay/reparative/conversion therapy organisation, apologize to the gay community and close the door? Was it a financial decision? What about his marriage to Leslie? If he is gay shouldn't he be true to himself? These questions and more are answered as the Chambers share personal moments with the reader.

There are things missing that I, and I'm sure other readers, would like to have known more about. For example. How did Alan manage the internal conflict when his reality (his same-sex-orientation) was not matching the message he was preaching? But as an author myself, I am also aware of the limits of word counts and the advice given from editors re content and flow.

Apart from missing further development in some areas, the memoir is well-written and an easy read. It's not a "tell all" book by any means but honest and revealing none the less.

After reading the book your opinion may remain the same but at least you have a better understanding of the forces that made the man and shaped the message he eventually renounced.

Profile Image for Eric.
255 reviews
February 9, 2016
It's strange that you'd be so interested/rooting for something's demise, but this honest account makes you feel better about it. Also, there's a candid and honest explanation of a relationship that would seem fake and dishonest.
Profile Image for Lori.
172 reviews8 followers
August 21, 2016
A powerful memoir on a very sensitive topic. Goodreads got the subtitle of this book completely wrong--it's actually titled My Exodus: From Fear to Grace. I'm very curious how they can list such an inflammatory subtitle without pushback.
Profile Image for Linda Robertson.
156 reviews3 followers
December 5, 2015
This book opens with a compelling story from the 2006 Exodus conference, which my husband and I attended with our then 17 year old son. It closes with the 2013 Exodus conference, which my husband and I also attended, though without our son. He died in 2009 after turning to drugs in his desperation to escape the pain that came from doing everything he was told to do in order to become straight only to find that neither God, nor his mind or body, seemed to cooperate. Exodus' story, obviously, is quite personal for us and so I was really looking forward to reading more about Alan's own journey and transformation.

I enjoyed reading of Alan's early years; his description of what it is like to grow up hiding and feeling intense shame about one's sexuality was insightful. It wasn't at all hard for me to understand why Alan found genuine support, love and belonging in the ex-gay group he joined, because our son experienced the same thing when he connected with other gay Christians for the first time at the 2006 conference. Our own experience with Exodus can’t be described as entirely negative, either; at the conference we were told, over and over, simply to love our son. While we definitely absorbed the unfortunate unspoken message conveyed by the fact that the visible Exodus staff and speakers were almost all married to opposite sex partners, we also left knowing that it would only hurt our son to remind him of what we believed the Bible said about homosexuality.

I wanted to love this book, because despite our own tragic mistakes that came, largely, from listening and believing the "ex-gay story" and reparative therapy theory espoused by Exodus and other evangelical organizations, we have great respect and affection for Alan and Leslie. My own expectations for the book proved incorrect; I thought I was going to read more about Alan's own process of moving from the conviction that all same-sex relationships are sinful to affirming that those in gay marriages can thrive spiritually and relationally just like those in heterosexual marriages. I also expected to read more about the stories of pain, abuse and grave injury that Alan so often heard - the stories that convinced him that Exodus was doing far more harm than good.

I was hopeful that this book might prove to be a tool for helping non-affirming Christian leaders and pastors come to understand the urgent need for Christians to stop being the "velvet brick" that Alan describes in the book, especially when it comes to the LGBT community. It might still be helpful, but as it didn't really describe how Alan and Leslie were hurt by well-meaning but uninformed Christians (if they ever were) or how Exodus unintentionally hurt so many, I can’t help but wonder how this book will be received by those who are continuing to inflict pain and suffering.

Instead, My Exodus is more of an account of both Alan and Leslie's individual lives, their courtship and marriage. It was more evidence of what we believe, that Alan and Leslie have a genuine, authentic romantic love and a rare and intimate friendship. But because I wasn't expecting the majority of the book to be about their early lives and relationship, I felt disappointed that the book seemed to skim quickly over what must have been agonizingly difficult processes and decisions as Exodus slowly began to turn away from the "change is possible" mantra and to embrace the undeniable fact that far too many people were leaving the ministry far worse than they were when they came.

I am unsure what someone who had been involved in one of the more egregiously irresponsible partner ministries would think upon reading the book; unfortunately, I fear they might feel more even more pain. The few stories of harm described seemed trite and understated compared to the hundreds of stories I've read and listened to. While I know that Alan and Leslie would never wish to hurt anyone further, I worry that this book might do just that. I hope I am wrong.

That said, I think that if this book had been titled in a way to more accurately describe its contents, I would have closed it feeling far more satisfied than I did. Perhaps Alan will consider writing the book that I wished for, and that I believe is needed in the larger evangelical debate about LGBT inclusion in the church. I think his unique perspective is a crucially important one, as far too many Christians still think that sexual orientation is something that can be chosen, and that demanding celibacy of an LGBT person can be equated with the calling of straight, married Christians to be faithful to their spouses (a ludicrous and horrifically damaging comparison, in my opinion). Alan can speak into the current debate in America with a particularly significant voice, and I hope that he continues to do so.
Profile Image for Alan.
294 reviews6 followers
October 30, 2015
I seldom give a book less than 3 stars and do so only with great thought. This book is one that had some serious flaws on delivering it's tag line. It did not at all describe the "slavery of religion." Nor did it even try to describe what "grace" is. As the central theme, more energy should have expended in describing what "grace" means rather than assuming that the reader would understand the Christian ghetto vocabulary that has resulting in "grace" having little if any meaning.

I wanted to empathize with this well-meaning couple, but felt unable to do so. Alan is, in particular, short on details on his role in hurting people through the organization he led. This would have been more of a confession and apology if he had provided enough specifics about how he and the organization harmed people. With such a public image, he would have been much more believable if his contrition was more detailed rather than just asking the reader to believe in his sorry and good heart.

At the same time, he makes some bold statements without supporting evidence, e.g. 99.9% don't ever lose same-sex attractions. Even worse was his lack of explanation for the sudden reversal of support for reparative therapy. The whole topic of sexual orientation is a lightning rod that would have been better served without even more unsupported opinions stated as fact.

This book was too short, too personal and on the edge of narcissistic. As someone who followed the activities of Exodus for years, I learned little other than what I had already read in press releases when Exodus closed.
Profile Image for Julia Smith.
13 reviews1 follower
December 17, 2015
I appreciated getting a sense of Alan Chambers the man through this book, especially in relation to his childhood, his father, and his wife, Leslie. I feel pained that Alan and Leslie felt the need to spend as much time as they do discussing their sexual relationship, though it's understandable that it's included.

There is a lot of truth-telling in the book, yet for all that, I wish Alan had been able to go further than he does. His influence as President of Exodus International seems glossed over, along with the complicity of the organization in perpetuating falsehoods and (in the case of some member ministries) unethical, harmful practices. By page 197 Alan is saying he had "lost faith in too much of what we were trying to sell" yet to my mind he doesn't give an adequate account of what was wrong with Exodus or of his own change of heart to back up the statement.

Altogether an interesting and worthwhile read, but I can't help thinking another ten years may change how the story would be told, and that it may have been better to wait.

I wish every blessing to Alan and Leslie as they continue on God's path post-Exodus. I hope they can get the white couches back out of storage soon!
Profile Image for Laura.
1,029 reviews18 followers
January 21, 2016
I remember when Exodus International folded (because I read about on Rachel Held Evan's blog) so when I saw this book on the new non-fiction shelf, I was curious to read Chamber's side of the story. I'm glad I read it although it doesn't really help make these issues any easier.
Profile Image for Rob Duford.
83 reviews3 followers
July 10, 2019
Very few people know the impact Alan and Leslie Chambers have had on my life. I met Alan in 1999 when my wife and I began attending Calvary Assembly while on a hiatus trying to figure out if we still wanted to go into pastoral ministry following an early ministry experience that left us deeply wounded and conflicted. Alan and Leslie became our friends, and my mentor, and God begin doing a healing work in our hearts that ultimately prepared me to join Alan on the pastoral staff at Calvary two years later (a dream job he helped me land).

I knew much of Alan and Leslie’s story, but I didn’t know all of it. As I read this book I could not put it down. Yes, it certainly has something to do with the names, places, and events were those I recognized, but it was also because the heart of the story being told was so authentic and transparent. Alan and Leslie have put themselves out there, and often they are received with plenty of venom for doing so. Theirs has not been an easy journey, and I would never ask for the road they have traveled, but what they have demonstrated together is God’s grace and ultimately they have done well shining the spotlight on Jesus.

My wife and I had a three-hour dinner with Alan and Leslie last night - catching up after way too long, remembering the good and the bad (and freaking hysterical) times we shared at Calvary. Alan and I do not see eye-to-eye on everything, and that’s the beauty of the Gospel. With relationship we’re able to sit together and hold civil conversations asking each other genuine questions about Scripture, about how to love gay people really well, and how to handle truth.

Can you imagine how well the Gospel would be received if people with different understandings of Scripture sat down and talked with one another in love and respect rather than spewing one-sided opinions as keyboard warriors on social media?

This story is captivating.
This story is ultimately about Jesus.
I am thankful for my friend.





14 reviews2 followers
June 28, 2017
Really,you can be born homosexual? The book has no single biblical basis for Allans stand.I kept hoping that he will give it at some point in the book. The Gospel remains the only answer to sin.

No biblical principles for taking the stand that he he taken,and that is very disappointing especially because Exodus is dead
Profile Image for Lori Neff.
Author 5 books33 followers
October 27, 2017
I read this in one day - just couldn't put it down. Enjoyable book with not a ton of takeaways, but it was very relatable for anyone who has had a faithshift.
15 reviews1 follower
April 26, 2016
It is important to note this is a trade book and not an academic book. It doesn't discuss the topic of homosexuality from a Biblical standpoint, this is more of an autobiography. You can tell the author is used to speaking as the book is overall well written. I found the part about his father dying pretty moving and I also chuckled a few times along the way. This is a fast read and easy read.

Yet, one the biggest issues I had with the book is the author never explains his terms. He assumes many things without giving anything to back it up. He often puts himself on the side of love and those who disagree with on the side of hate. Granted there is much the church has done over the years that has been hurtful, especially to the homosexual community. Still, simply because the church has been shown to be imperfect doesn't mean what is stands for is imperfect and wrong. He constantly paints conservative Christians as hateful and believe that "homosexuals are abominations". Now I am sure there are those who hold this view, but in my experience the large majority of Christians who reject the idea of homosexual marriage and gay Christians do so in manner that kind and respectful. It is possible to disagree with someone and be able to do so with love in your heart for that person.

The author accepts ideas such as "gay christian" without ever defining what he really means by these terms. While I understand this is not intended to be a theological book, with such loaded words there needed to be some discussion to define what he really means by these them and why they are to be accepted. His only explanation tends to come in the form that he wants to be loving and graceful, yet again the author never explains what he means by these terms as well.

While overall the book was easy to read, I found it lacking in its most important part, explanation. While Mr. Chambers has been in the conversation of homosexuality for decades and understands their hurt, he misses what love and grace really mean.
528 reviews38 followers
December 14, 2015
Alan Chambers has been a hero and a villain to different people, sometimes each to the same person, depending on what year it was. He has a complex story that defies labeling and oversimplification. Is he a repressed gay teen, raised in a shaming environment? An out gay man, finding his way into his sexuality amidst anonymous sexual encounters? An ex-gay celebrity and crusader, a lightning rod for criticism or admiration depending on one's experience and theology and politics on such things? The leader of a movement that represented hope and transformation? The leader of a movement that represented shame and abuse? A same sex attracted man who enjoys a healthy and warm marriage to his wife?

Chambers has in fact been all of these people, and in his memoir he tells parts of these stories in what he describes as a journey from fear to grace. He doesn't apologize as much as some would like for the perceived damage his organization Exodus International did to some, but he does reach what I found to be a beautiful line, speaking about his decision to close Exodus and he and his wife's more nuanced embrace not only of their own story but any story in which people are finding the power of God's love: "....We experienced and decided to devote ourselves to only those things that bring life, the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. And together, to loving and serving others." (221)

Amen to that, Alan.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews

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