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Nina Kimberly the Merciless
She's on a mission to kill the man who loves her. Why? Because he's an idiot. Ten years ago, Nina Kimberly the Merciless was cheated out of the life of adventure that she truly deserves. Her father, the fearsome barbarian conqueror Marcus the Merciless, met his first and only defeat at the hands of, well... a gopher hole. Ever since this epic humiliation, she and the rest of the horde have been stuck in the rural backwater kingdom of Langia. Now Francis IX, the idiotic king, has decided that he and Nina should be married. She can't kill him without starting a succession war, but the alternatives? Eww! Nina has long yearned for a hero to sweep her up on a glorious quest, but Francis' unwanted affections have forced her hand. No more waiting for a quest to find her, it's time to get proactive. She sets off into the big wide world, but the King decides to tag along, complete with a security spell to alert the Kingdom if he's killed. Nina is forced to swallow her pride and keep him safe... at least until she can find a way to break the spell. But nothing is ever simple in the life of a barbarian princess, and nothing is ever quite what it appears. The dragon is a pacifist (sometimes). The handsome rogue is a con-artist, but who is he conning? And even the wizard has a few surprises in store. While seeking the answer to all her problems, Miss the Merciless discovers that what she's always wanted may not actually be what she wants. Nina Kimberly the Merciless is a comic coming of age story filled with magic, mayhem and mercenaries, but mercy? Never.
1 pages, Podiobook
First published January 1, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
April 12, 2016
This was an enjoyable YA fantasy/comedy.
The story followed Nina Kimberley the Merciless, a teenage barbarian princess, as she sets out on her first real quest/adventure. Unfortunately for her a delicate political situation means she is forced to take King Francis along for the journey. A real inconvenience considering the goal of her quest is to find a way to kill Francis, her obnoxious unwanted suitor, without causing a war between his people and hers!
The story was a ton of fun. Francis was the absolute worst companion anyone could possibly have while on a quest. The guy was an obnoxious, oblivious, idiot who drove Nina crazy with his antics. It made for plenty of hilarious moments. As the quest progressed Nina's party grew to include a Dragon, who was trying to learn to see humanity as more than just food, and William, a Robin Hood-esque mercenary.
The characters proved a likeable bunch and each had the chance to change and grow over the course of the quest. By the end I was surprised by how attached I'd grown to them.
All in all I liked the mix of humor, action, romance, and mystery and wish this story had a sequel as I'm definitely not ready to let go of these characters just yet!
Rating: 4 stars.
Audio Note: This was narrated by the author herself. I thought she did an excellent job. It was also a free Podiobook and I was delighted by the quality of both the production and the story. I'll be trying more Podiobooks in the future.
The story followed Nina Kimberley the Merciless, a teenage barbarian princess, as she sets out on her first real quest/adventure. Unfortunately for her a delicate political situation means she is forced to take King Francis along for the journey. A real inconvenience considering the goal of her quest is to find a way to kill Francis, her obnoxious unwanted suitor, without causing a war between his people and hers!
The story was a ton of fun. Francis was the absolute worst companion anyone could possibly have while on a quest. The guy was an obnoxious, oblivious, idiot who drove Nina crazy with his antics. It made for plenty of hilarious moments. As the quest progressed Nina's party grew to include a Dragon, who was trying to learn to see humanity as more than just food, and William, a Robin Hood-esque mercenary.
The characters proved a likeable bunch and each had the chance to change and grow over the course of the quest. By the end I was surprised by how attached I'd grown to them.
All in all I liked the mix of humor, action, romance, and mystery and wish this story had a sequel as I'm definitely not ready to let go of these characters just yet!
Rating: 4 stars.
Audio Note: This was narrated by the author herself. I thought she did an excellent job. It was also a free Podiobook and I was delighted by the quality of both the production and the story. I'll be trying more Podiobooks in the future.
July 25, 2011
Refreshing, laugh-out-loud funny, and unpredictable, this is an amazing first novel by Christiana Ellis. Before I was halfway through, my tween daughter stole it from me and read the entire thing in ONE DAY before I could get it back. And then when I was finished, she took it back to read again and to keep on her own bookshelf. She said it was better than "Series of Unfortunate Events" - which is one of her favorite series - because it wasn't miserable ("All that sad stuff gets OLD"), and it was better than "So You Want to Be a Wizard" because it's so funny! "While cool, it wasn't better than Dragonlance," she said. But I think it's quite an achievement that Ellis could even come close to seasoned writers Hickman and Weis.
I think Ellis rivals the "big names" because she's offbeat, quirky and unconventional, and an excellent writer. Ellis turns tropes upside down and creates a kind of self-aware, postmodern fantasy story. My favorite line is when the wizard Manny tells Nina, "It has done my heart good to play a small and primarily expository but nonetheless critical role in your larger story." In another scene, the "hero" sums up the angst of the modern male... "I have to say that I'm feeling a little useless here. Here I am, intending to save a king and a beautiful maiden, and now the maiden has saved both herself and the king without my help. Kinda left me holding the bag."
Miss the Merciless is a heroine for the current generation. Nina uses her wits as much as she uses her weapon, and isn't above reveling in the fear her heritage inspires, but we also see her vulnerabilities and insecurities. But to call it a "coming of age" tale doesn't do it justice. Yes, it's about a 17-year-old woman (I won't call anyone who can lop off heads with one stroke a "girl") whose life as a barbarian princess in a small kingdom renders her bitter and self-centered. She learns the value of generosity, goodness, and yes, mercy, during her adventuring with a king reminiscent of a young Hugh Laurie in "Blackadder," a dragon attempting to overcome his misanthropy, and a Robin Hood-esque conman. But one doesn't have to be a 17-year-old (physically or at heart) to enjoy this story. Nina could have been 22, 32 or 42, and the story would have worked just as well.
Clever, easy-to-read, well-written. I would rate it PG-13 for innuendo and violence. Looking forward to more from Christiana Ellis!
I think Ellis rivals the "big names" because she's offbeat, quirky and unconventional, and an excellent writer. Ellis turns tropes upside down and creates a kind of self-aware, postmodern fantasy story. My favorite line is when the wizard Manny tells Nina, "It has done my heart good to play a small and primarily expository but nonetheless critical role in your larger story." In another scene, the "hero" sums up the angst of the modern male... "I have to say that I'm feeling a little useless here. Here I am, intending to save a king and a beautiful maiden, and now the maiden has saved both herself and the king without my help. Kinda left me holding the bag."
Miss the Merciless is a heroine for the current generation. Nina uses her wits as much as she uses her weapon, and isn't above reveling in the fear her heritage inspires, but we also see her vulnerabilities and insecurities. But to call it a "coming of age" tale doesn't do it justice. Yes, it's about a 17-year-old woman (I won't call anyone who can lop off heads with one stroke a "girl") whose life as a barbarian princess in a small kingdom renders her bitter and self-centered. She learns the value of generosity, goodness, and yes, mercy, during her adventuring with a king reminiscent of a young Hugh Laurie in "Blackadder," a dragon attempting to overcome his misanthropy, and a Robin Hood-esque conman. But one doesn't have to be a 17-year-old (physically or at heart) to enjoy this story. Nina could have been 22, 32 or 42, and the story would have worked just as well.
Clever, easy-to-read, well-written. I would rate it PG-13 for innuendo and violence. Looking forward to more from Christiana Ellis!
September 24, 2010
Nina Kimberly the Merciless is a barbarian princess who would like to kill the royal pain in the behind, King Francis. But she can't without destroying her own people in the process. So she sets out on a quest to find a way to kill him.
This podiobook has a gory beginning. Nina chops off somebody's head in the 1st paragraph. This is the only gore in the podiobook.
5 stars to the interaction between Nina and Francis, I loved that part. 3 stars to Tiernon the dragon. he proved to be a decent character.
What I didn't like:
1. I really hate the romance device where 2 people meet and fall madly in love, then have a big misunderstanding until they resolve it at the end of the book. I hate it. I loathe it.
2. Excessive, lengthy, boring conversations made up 50% or more of this book.
3. The ending.
4. Nina goes from being a barbarian who chops off heads without the slightest qualm, and thinks pillaging is a public service, to a little teenage girl who explores her feelings and admires people who do good and noble things, and this change happens for no reason.
This podiobook has a gory beginning. Nina chops off somebody's head in the 1st paragraph. This is the only gore in the podiobook.
5 stars to the interaction between Nina and Francis, I loved that part. 3 stars to Tiernon the dragon. he proved to be a decent character.
What I didn't like:
1. I really hate the romance device where 2 people meet and fall madly in love, then have a big misunderstanding until they resolve it at the end of the book. I hate it. I loathe it.
2. Excessive, lengthy, boring conversations made up 50% or more of this book.
3. The ending.
4. Nina goes from being a barbarian who chops off heads without the slightest qualm, and thinks pillaging is a public service, to a little teenage girl who explores her feelings and admires people who do good and noble things, and this change happens for no reason.
March 7, 2017
This podcast novel is at turns hilarious, exciting, and dramatic - sometimes more than one of those at once. I enjoyed the writing style, it worked well for the story in audio. The plot was a blast and took some great twists and turns. In terms of characters, I really loved Tiernan, his complexities, and unpredictability. I had mixed feelings about Nina for a while but she grew on me as she grew. I definitely understand her motivations, given her background, and enjoyed her as the central character. The ridiculous Francis was a headdesk-worthy source of amusement and groaning. I had mixed feelings about William too but appreciated his role in the story. And Manny was great, I only wish we'd seen more of him. What a fun story!
January 19, 2012
I really enjoyed this, in the Podiobook version read by the author, whose voice acting is remarkable.
The clueless Francis is particularly brilliantly characterised. I would usually be bothered by modern American slang in a pseudomedieval fantasy book, but it so perfectly conveys Francis's idiocy.
I occasionally thought that Nina herself was a little fearful for the daughter of a barbarian raider, but mostly what she was fearful about was not physical combat but relationships and complex social situations.
The ending leaves me wanting a sequel. When do we get the sequel, Christiana? Huh? When?
The clueless Francis is particularly brilliantly characterised. I would usually be bothered by modern American slang in a pseudomedieval fantasy book, but it so perfectly conveys Francis's idiocy.
I occasionally thought that Nina herself was a little fearful for the daughter of a barbarian raider, but mostly what she was fearful about was not physical combat but relationships and complex social situations.
The ending leaves me wanting a sequel. When do we get the sequel, Christiana? Huh? When?
February 3, 2011
Generally entertaining stuff. I thought the ending was nicely handled and there was a likeable collection of characters. Perhaps the biggest problem I had was that apart from the very start, Nina isn't especially merciless and the book doesn't seem sure which way it should go and how far. I also thought portraying a character as a surfer dude just didn't work and became a bit grating. Overall, though, it was an amusing and quite original book.
June 12, 2008
She's not a princess, she's not a barbarian, and she certainly doesn't need to be rescued.
It's a light read/listen, but the humor is priceless. The plot twists are wonderful and a bit unexpected as well. The ending came all too soon and wrapped up a little too neatly, but left me hoping for more.
It's a light read/listen, but the humor is priceless. The plot twists are wonderful and a bit unexpected as well. The ending came all too soon and wrapped up a little too neatly, but left me hoping for more.
August 6, 2011
I was looking for a recommend and someone said to check out common license books, specifically this one. I thought the story was fun, it made me laugh out loud a few times. I'm pretty sure I've been asked by King Francis before, lol. I like the dragon and thought the ending was perfect. Definitely a good book if you want something light and fun.
April 15, 2010
I thought a great deal of this book overall, but felt that the story dragged terribly with the dialog due to some of the excessive details of facial characteristics etc... I also felt that Nina seemed a bit dense at times when she was portrayed in the story to be very smart. Overall, a good story.
May 6, 2009
It's a decent fantasy story that seems well suited for the young-adult crowd. 3 Stars to me is "I'd re-read it when I'm out of new books to read."
June 17, 2009
Another great story from Christiana !
July 8, 2009
I'm not a big fantasy fan--more of a sci-fi guy then anything--but this was a hilarious take on the genre, an excellent book. Dare I say The Princess Bride of this generation? Yes, I do think I dare.
October 31, 2009
Good story but like many books it ended rather poorly.
May 5, 2010
Have to love a book that begins with a decapitation and just gets better from there.
March 18, 2012
Cute idea and somewhat unusual plot. Light reading with lots of magic and dragons.
May 31, 2012
A fun comic fantasy novel. Longer review here:
http://eyesandearsblog.blogspot.com/2...
http://eyesandearsblog.blogspot.com/2...
July 20, 2012
I absolutely loved this book. It was fun and it takes a lot of work for the author to put this together. I think she did a great job and hope there is a follow up.
December 20, 2013
Loved this! Fun, funny and original. I listened to the podcast from the author.
May 6, 2014
I reread this because I needed fun, hilarity, and a gripping plot. Nina Kimberley delivers all these things. Dripping, on a pike.
January 28, 2016
This was fantastic. I was fully engaged from page one and could hardly put it down. Fantastic book. Would love a sequel. Or prequel. Don't much care which.
June 27, 2010
A very fun and refreshing read that had me smirking and chuckling despite myself.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews