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Two Women Living Together
The big-hearted, bestselling South Korean memoir co-written by two best friends flouting gender norms and societal expectations with their decision to grow old together under one roof.
When most of their peers were moving in with romantic partners and having children, Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo chose independence—savoring solitude, quiet mornings, and the unmitigated freedom of living alone. But in their forties, something shifted, and they were met with a new, unexpected loneliness. Refusing to settle for the outdated choice between marriage or isolation, Hana and Sunwoo made a radical to buy a home and live together—not as lovers, not as roommates, but as chosen family.
Now a bustling household of two women and four cats, Hana and Sunwoo still value solitude, but can do so while sharing a life and its meaning with someone else. Together they navigate the challenges and comforts of cohabiting in midlife, the growing pains of interdependence and the unexpected rewards of compromise when you’ve grown set in your ways. From sick days to career wins to aging parents and beach-side retirement plans, they are redefining domestic bliss on their own terms, where love, partnership, and home are defined not by tradition, but by choice.
With warmth, wit, and sharp social insight, Hana and Sunwoo share their blueprint for building a life outside the scripts of marriage and society’s expectations for women. Two Women Living Together is a quiet revolution—a celebration of female friendship, community, and the many forms that love and family can take.
When most of their peers were moving in with romantic partners and having children, Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo chose independence—savoring solitude, quiet mornings, and the unmitigated freedom of living alone. But in their forties, something shifted, and they were met with a new, unexpected loneliness. Refusing to settle for the outdated choice between marriage or isolation, Hana and Sunwoo made a radical to buy a home and live together—not as lovers, not as roommates, but as chosen family.
Now a bustling household of two women and four cats, Hana and Sunwoo still value solitude, but can do so while sharing a life and its meaning with someone else. Together they navigate the challenges and comforts of cohabiting in midlife, the growing pains of interdependence and the unexpected rewards of compromise when you’ve grown set in your ways. From sick days to career wins to aging parents and beach-side retirement plans, they are redefining domestic bliss on their own terms, where love, partnership, and home are defined not by tradition, but by choice.
With warmth, wit, and sharp social insight, Hana and Sunwoo share their blueprint for building a life outside the scripts of marriage and society’s expectations for women. Two Women Living Together is a quiet revolution—a celebration of female friendship, community, and the many forms that love and family can take.
12 pages, Audible Audio
First published February 22, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
January 29, 2026
Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo are two South Korean female friends who, in their early 40s, chose for financial and companionship reasons to consolidate their households and begin cohabitating long-term in a large apartment they bought together, with the intent of this arrangement lasting indefinitely. I listened to the audiobook narration of the 2026 English translation of their co-written book Two Women Living Together, first published in South Korea in 2019.
The book consists of a series of essays written separately that discuss why they chose and designed this living arrangement, how they've navigated conflicts and challenging situations, and their future plans. The essays vary from humorous to poignant to mundane, similar to how other cohabitants would probably describe the experience of moving in together and attempting to merge lives.
I did find this concept and situation quite interesting, being mindful that there are sociocultural issues at play that I don't fully understand as an American. For instance, Kim and Hwang talk about the lack of legal recognition of their 'chosen family'-type arrangement in South Korea, where in many social scenarios they have supported each other in a similar fashion as one might support an immediate family member or significant other. Though Kim and Hwang don't identify as gay and don't characterize their relationship as anything other than platonic friendship in the book, from a practical and pragmatic standpoint a lot of those legal protections could be conferred via a civil union, except that as of 2026 same-sex civil unions are still not recognized in South Korea.
Further reading:
Bad Friend: How Women Revolutionized Modern Friendship by Tiffany Watt Smith - if I recall correctly, Hwang and Kim may have been discussed here as well
Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life by Bella DiPaolo
My statistics:
Book 27 for 2026
Book 2333 cumulatively
The book consists of a series of essays written separately that discuss why they chose and designed this living arrangement, how they've navigated conflicts and challenging situations, and their future plans. The essays vary from humorous to poignant to mundane, similar to how other cohabitants would probably describe the experience of moving in together and attempting to merge lives.
I did find this concept and situation quite interesting, being mindful that there are sociocultural issues at play that I don't fully understand as an American. For instance, Kim and Hwang talk about the lack of legal recognition of their 'chosen family'-type arrangement in South Korea, where in many social scenarios they have supported each other in a similar fashion as one might support an immediate family member or significant other. Though Kim and Hwang don't identify as gay and don't characterize their relationship as anything other than platonic friendship in the book, from a practical and pragmatic standpoint a lot of those legal protections could be conferred via a civil union, except that as of 2026 same-sex civil unions are still not recognized in South Korea.
Further reading:
Bad Friend: How Women Revolutionized Modern Friendship by Tiffany Watt Smith - if I recall correctly, Hwang and Kim may have been discussed here as well
Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life by Bella DiPaolo
My statistics:
Book 27 for 2026
Book 2333 cumulatively
September 3, 2025
a realistic and inspiring look at what life/companionship/etc can look like outside of typical marriage/romantic conventions. I want to be these women and I absolutely loved this book
January 22, 2026
Enjoyable, unique memoir by two South Korean women about their choice to platonically cohabitate More practical (and cat focused!) than philosophical, but still a good time.
January 29, 2026
Perhaps more accurately, “Two Women Take Out a Mortgage to Buy Their House.” Hana and Sunwoo first connect online, and becoming close friends, they decide to purchase a house in Seoul together, bringing their similarities, differences, and two cats per human (Haku, Tigger, Goro, and Youngbae). In their shared memoir, the two women take turns covering topics such as their jobs, cooking preferences, nuclear family, cleaning habits, work out rhythms, and views on marriage and familial duty. Told without linear progression, their essays on cohabitation provide anecdotes and outline tips for happier living arrangements, push against traditional configurations on one’s home, and point out their experiences on how the world treats unmarried women. Their cheerful tone exemplifies a way for single income households to diversify family structures, showcasing the benefits (and work) of cohabitation. I hoped the book would address my questions about dividing the property should Hana and Sunwoo decide to do so in the future.
Two Women Living Together immediately reminded me of the common practice, at least in my experience, of creating a home with your homies, viably extending the uni-is-one-big-sleepover phase into adulthood proper. The difference would be co-owning a house with a bestie in one’s 40s as opposed to sharing a lease (and not in one’s 40s). It stressed me out that the two women live differently—experience has led me to cohabitate with people I enjoy who live similarly. Hana and Sunwoo’s growth in their friendship made the read more intriguing.
I rate Two Women Living Together 3.5 stars.
My thanks to Ecco and NetGalley for an ARC.
Two Women Living Together immediately reminded me of the common practice, at least in my experience, of creating a home with your homies, viably extending the uni-is-one-big-sleepover phase into adulthood proper. The difference would be co-owning a house with a bestie in one’s 40s as opposed to sharing a lease (and not in one’s 40s). It stressed me out that the two women live differently—experience has led me to cohabitate with people I enjoy who live similarly. Hana and Sunwoo’s growth in their friendship made the read more intriguing.
I rate Two Women Living Together 3.5 stars.
My thanks to Ecco and NetGalley for an ARC.
October 14, 2025
TWO WOMEN LIVING TOGETHER
RATING: 4.5
GENRE: Memoir, Nonfiction
This short, but poignant memoir redefines what family is. Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo, as two single 40-something women, choose to live together after many years of living ‘alone’. As they combine their households in order to have companionship, they struggle with the changes of now having a cohabitant sharing the same space.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book as someone who lives alone and understands the idea that companionship does not necessarily have to equate to a romantic relationship. It is who we choose as our family and who we want to spend time with. While Hana and Sunwoo were friends before they decided on their current living arrangements, once the change occurs, they find out more about each other now that they live together. There’s many challenges as one is an organized and clean person, while the other is a ‘hoarder’. Yet, despite everything, they are there for each other in ways similar to a spouse, but without all the familial expectations.
This was such a sweet story of how these two women strive to break societal norms.I highly encourage everyone to read this memoir as both Hana and Sunwoo alternate and share their own experiences of cohabitation with a friend and what community and family is.
Thank you to NetGalley and Ecco for a chance to read this book and check it on pub date 1/20/26! I can’t wait to pick up my own physical copy.
RATING: 4.5
GENRE: Memoir, Nonfiction
This short, but poignant memoir redefines what family is. Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo, as two single 40-something women, choose to live together after many years of living ‘alone’. As they combine their households in order to have companionship, they struggle with the changes of now having a cohabitant sharing the same space.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book as someone who lives alone and understands the idea that companionship does not necessarily have to equate to a romantic relationship. It is who we choose as our family and who we want to spend time with. While Hana and Sunwoo were friends before they decided on their current living arrangements, once the change occurs, they find out more about each other now that they live together. There’s many challenges as one is an organized and clean person, while the other is a ‘hoarder’. Yet, despite everything, they are there for each other in ways similar to a spouse, but without all the familial expectations.
This was such a sweet story of how these two women strive to break societal norms.I highly encourage everyone to read this memoir as both Hana and Sunwoo alternate and share their own experiences of cohabitation with a friend and what community and family is.
Thank you to NetGalley and Ecco for a chance to read this book and check it on pub date 1/20/26! I can’t wait to pick up my own physical copy.
August 17, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
If I had my life to do over and I wasn't happily married, I'd consider the lifestyle of these two women. They're breaking the mold on cultural and societal norms and it's refreshing to read.
I can't imagine the courage it takes to go into a situation like these two have but I'm so happy it's working out for them. Their alternating stories are funny.
If I had my life to do over and I wasn't happily married, I'd consider the lifestyle of these two women. They're breaking the mold on cultural and societal norms and it's refreshing to read.
I can't imagine the courage it takes to go into a situation like these two have but I'm so happy it's working out for them. Their alternating stories are funny.
July 30, 2021
真的好好看喔～覺得有獨居過的人會很有感＋三十幾歲以上女子更能體會。
February 1, 2026
Une lecture très chouette et rafraîchissante sur 2 femmes qui décident d’acheter un appartement ensemble car elles ne souhaitent pas se marier ou vivre seule. C’est vraiment beau et drôle, évidemment tout n’est pas rose et ça montre que mes quand on se correspond bien, vivre avec un.e autre est toujours une question d’adaptation mais c’est chouette
January 28, 2026
I liked this! Easy to read, two women in their forties as platonic life companions and their cats.
Want to read
January 21, 2026uhm since I watch the Golden Girls on repeat I will definitely be checking this out
January 20, 2026
An adorable true life story about two women who choose to live and make their lives together, unromantically.
I live this life. I've lived with my best friend and our cats for the last 19 years. I wouldn't change a single thing.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.
I live this life. I've lived with my best friend and our cats for the last 19 years. I wouldn't change a single thing.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.
March 21, 2021
p. 17-18: 혼자의 정점을 찍었던 서핑 여행 이후로 나는 산 정상에서 하산하듯 자연스럽게 친구들과 같이 뭔가를 도모하는 쪽으로 서서히 변화했다. 당장 그해 가을에 두 친구와 함께 열흘 동안 일본으로 여행을 갔고, 다음 해 겨울부터는 지금의 동거인과 같이 살게 되었으니까. 여전히 나는 혼자 먹는 밥이 맛있고 혼자 하는 여행의 간편한 기동력을 사랑한다. 그런 한편으로 또 믿게 되었다. 혼자 하는 모든 일은 기억이지만 같이 할 때는 추억이 된다는 이야기를. 감탄도 투덜거림도, 내적 독백으로 삼킬 만큼 삼켜본 뒤에는 입 밖에 내서 확인하고 싶어진다.
p. 113-114: 나중에 심리학에서 나 같은 사람의 애착 관계 형성 양상을 회피 유형으로 분류한다는 걸 알았다. 공격적으로 말하기보다 부드럽게 둘러서 얘기하고, 마찰이 생길라 치면 상황을 외면해버리기에 독립적이고 쿨해 보이는 이런 사람들은 실은 비겁한 부류다. 실망하기 싫어서 기대하지 않은 척하고, 부딪치기 싫어서 크게 중요하지 않은 척하는. 인격이 성숙해서 잘 안 싸우는 사람이 전혀 아니라, 오히려 미숙해서 잘 못 싸우는 사람에 가까웠던 거다. 다투더라도 기분이 상했을 때 내 집으로 돌아와 동굴 같은 그곳에서 휴식을 취하면 되었으니까. 하지만 이번에는 통하지 않았다. 함께 사는 사람과 싸운다는 건 도망갈 곳이 없어진 거다. 지금까진 누구와의 갈등도 이렇게까지 깊게 제대로 해결할 필요까진 없었다면 이제 절벽을 뒤에 둔 느낌으로 최선을 다해 임해야 한다. 제대로 잘 싸워야 한다.
p. 115: 이 싸움의 목적이 뭔지 생각해본다. 나의 가장 잘 드는 무기를 찾아 쥐고 한 번에 숨통이 끊어지게 적의 급소에 꽂는 것인가? 다시는 일어날 수 없도록 흠씬 두들겨 패서 밟아버리는 것인가? 함께 사는 사람, 같이 살아가야 하는 사람과의 싸움은 잊어버리기 위한 싸움이다. 삽을 들고 감정의 물길을 판 다음 잘 흘려보내기 위한 싸움이다. 제자리로 잘 돌아오기 위한 싸움이다.
사람은 혼자서도 행복할 수 있지만 자신의 세계에 누군가를 들이기로 결정한 이상은, 서로의 감정과 안녕을 살피고 노력할 수 밖에 없다. 우리는 계속해서 싸우고, 곧 화해하고 다시 싸운다. 반복해서 용서했다가 또 실망하지만 여전히 큰 기대를 거는 일을 포기하지 않는다. 서로에게 계속해서 기회를 준다. 그리고 이렇게 이어지는 교전 상태가, 전혀 싸우지 않을 때의 허약한 평화보다 훨씬 건강함을 나는 안다.
p. 119: 동거인의 상사였던 이혜주 편집장님이 결혼 생활에 대해 이런 말씀을 하셨다고 한다. "둘만 같이 살아도 단체 생활이다." 동거인에게 가장 중요한 자질은 서로 라이프 스타일이 맞느냐 안 맞느냐보다, 공동 생활을 위해 노력할 마음이 있느냐 없느냐에 달렸을 것 같다. 그래야 갈등이 생겨도 봉합할 수 있다.
p. 205: 운동에 대해 내가 롤모델로 삼는 사람은 인스타에 가득한 몸짱 트레이너도, 어떤 프로 운동선수도 아닌 김하나의 어머니다. "느그, 늙으면 ���신감이 어디서 나오는지 아나? 체력이다." 김하나의 어머니는 체구가 작고 언제나 몸이 약해서 늘 누워 계셨다는데, 40대 이후에 꾸준히 요가와 수영을 해오면서 지금은 이렇게 말씀하시는 정도가 되었다. 언젠가 우리를 부산역에 데려다주시면서 어머니는, 40대에 한창 수영�� 배울 때 처음 잠영에 성공했던 이야기를 들려주셨다. "어떤 사람이 수영장 레인 끝에서 끝까지 숨을 참고 단번에 헤엄쳐 가는 거야. 저 사람은 참 대단하고 멋있구나 싶었는데 나는 그리 못할 것 같았어, 절대로. 숨을 도저히 못 참을 거 같더라고. 그런데 어느 날 한번 결심을 하고 나도 되는 데까지만 가보자, 했더니만 끝까지 갈 수가 있더라고. 숨 한 번도 안 쉬고 말이야. 어찌나 기본이 좋던지, 응? 그러니까 뭐든 안 된다고 생각하지 말고 한번 해보는 것도 좋아."
p. 113-114: 나중에 심리학에서 나 같은 사람의 애착 관계 형성 양상을 회피 유형으로 분류한다는 걸 알았다. 공격적으로 말하기보다 부드럽게 둘러서 얘기하고, 마찰이 생길라 치면 상황을 외면해버리기에 독립적이고 쿨해 보이는 이런 사람들은 실은 비겁한 부류다. 실망하기 싫어서 기대하지 않은 척하고, 부딪치기 싫어서 크게 중요하지 않은 척하는. 인격이 성숙해서 잘 안 싸우는 사람이 전혀 아니라, 오히려 미숙해서 잘 못 싸우는 사람에 가까웠던 거다. 다투더라도 기분이 상했을 때 내 집으로 돌아와 동굴 같은 그곳에서 휴식을 취하면 되었으니까. 하지만 이번에는 통하지 않았다. 함께 사는 사람과 싸운다는 건 도망갈 곳이 없어진 거다. 지금까진 누구와의 갈등도 이렇게까지 깊게 제대로 해결할 필요까진 없었다면 이제 절벽을 뒤에 둔 느낌으로 최선을 다해 임해야 한다. 제대로 잘 싸워야 한다.
p. 115: 이 싸움의 목적이 뭔지 생각해본다. 나의 가장 잘 드는 무기를 찾아 쥐고 한 번에 숨통이 끊어지게 적의 급소에 꽂는 것인가? 다시는 일어날 수 없도록 흠씬 두들겨 패서 밟아버리는 것인가? 함께 사는 사람, 같이 살아가야 하는 사람과의 싸움은 잊어버리기 위한 싸움이다. 삽을 들고 감정의 물길을 판 다음 잘 흘려보내기 위한 싸움이다. 제자리로 잘 돌아오기 위한 싸움이다.
사람은 혼자서도 행복할 수 있지만 자신의 세계에 누군가를 들이기로 결정한 이상은, 서로의 감정과 안녕을 살피고 노력할 수 밖에 없다. 우리는 계속해서 싸우고, 곧 화해하고 다시 싸운다. 반복해서 용서했다가 또 실망하지만 여전히 큰 기대를 거는 일을 포기하지 않는다. 서로에게 계속해서 기회를 준다. 그리고 이렇게 이어지는 교전 상태가, 전혀 싸우지 않을 때의 허약한 평화보다 훨씬 건강함을 나는 안다.
p. 119: 동거인의 상사였던 이혜주 편집장님이 결혼 생활에 대해 이런 말씀을 하셨다고 한다. "둘만 같이 살아도 단체 생활이다." 동거인에게 가장 중요한 자질은 서로 라이프 스타일이 맞느냐 안 맞느냐보다, 공동 생활을 위해 노력할 마음이 있느냐 없느냐에 달렸을 것 같다. 그래야 갈등이 생겨도 봉합할 수 있다.
p. 205: 운동에 대해 내가 롤모델로 삼는 사람은 인스타에 가득한 몸짱 트레이너도, 어떤 프로 운동선수도 아닌 김하나의 어머니다. "느그, 늙으면 ���신감이 어디서 나오는지 아나? 체력이다." 김하나의 어머니는 체구가 작고 언제나 몸이 약해서 늘 누워 계셨다는데, 40대 이후에 꾸준히 요가와 수영을 해오면서 지금은 이렇게 말씀하시는 정도가 되었다. 언젠가 우리를 부산역에 데려다주시면서 어머니는, 40대에 한창 수영�� 배울 때 처음 잠영에 성공했던 이야기를 들려주셨다. "어떤 사람이 수영장 레인 끝에서 끝까지 숨을 참고 단번에 헤엄쳐 가는 거야. 저 사람은 참 대단하고 멋있구나 싶었는데 나는 그리 못할 것 같았어, 절대로. 숨을 도저히 못 참을 거 같더라고. 그런데 어느 날 한번 결심을 하고 나도 되는 데까지만 가보자, 했더니만 끝까지 갈 수가 있더라고. 숨 한 번도 안 쉬고 말이야. 어찌나 기본이 좋던지, 응? 그러니까 뭐든 안 된다고 생각하지 말고 한번 해보는 것도 좋아."
May 18, 2025
It is a delightful and heartwarming little book, filled with cute illustrations and beautifully curated photos. If you enjoy minimalist, artsy interior design, or soft furnishings aesthetic, or you’re a devoted cat lover, reading this book will likely be a soothing and enjoyable experience!
Beyond the visuals, the writing itself is light and effortlessly natural. The book centers around the daily interactions between two housemates, Hana and Sunwoo, told through their alternating perspectives. Reading this book is like watching a slice-of-life reality show. Despite their contrasting personalities and lifestyles, they always manage to reflect, communicate openly, and reach mutual understanding. This emotional honesty and balance in cohabitation is one of the book’s most compelling aspects.
Also, non-romantic cohabitation is another important topic in this book. It makes me rethink what intimacy really means.
Toward the end of the book, Sunwoo expresses a thought that resonates deeply:
互許終身，決定以婚姻這個強力約束綁住彼此，自然事件美好的事，但即便不是如此，在一個人的生命週期，假如能在某段時光相互照顧、成為彼此的依靠，不也是很溫暖嗎？既然個人欣然為彼此帶來這種福利，法律和制度就必須加以輔助才對。當有別於過往、形式多元的家庭變得更加穩固健康時，社會這個共同體的綜合幸福指數，必然也會跟著提升。
(Translation: Committing to spend your life with someone through the institution of marriage is, of course, a beautiful thing. But even outside of that, if two people can care for and rely on each other during a chapter of their lives, isn’t that also something warm and meaningful? If individuals willingly offer each other this kind of support, then laws and institutions should evolve to reflect and facilitate it. As these alternative forms of family become more stable and healthy, the overall happiness index of our society is bound to rise as well.)
What a beautiful and necessary perspective!
Beyond the visuals, the writing itself is light and effortlessly natural. The book centers around the daily interactions between two housemates, Hana and Sunwoo, told through their alternating perspectives. Reading this book is like watching a slice-of-life reality show. Despite their contrasting personalities and lifestyles, they always manage to reflect, communicate openly, and reach mutual understanding. This emotional honesty and balance in cohabitation is one of the book’s most compelling aspects.
Also, non-romantic cohabitation is another important topic in this book. It makes me rethink what intimacy really means.
Toward the end of the book, Sunwoo expresses a thought that resonates deeply:
互許終身，決定以婚姻這個強力約束綁住彼此，自然事件美好的事，但即便不是如此，在一個人的生命週期，假如能在某段時光相互照顧、成為彼此的依靠，不也是很溫暖嗎？既然個人欣然為彼此帶來這種福利，法律和制度就必須加以輔助才對。當有別於過往、形式多元的家庭變得更加穩固健康時，社會這個共同體的綜合幸福指數，必然也會跟著提升。
(Translation: Committing to spend your life with someone through the institution of marriage is, of course, a beautiful thing. But even outside of that, if two people can care for and rely on each other during a chapter of their lives, isn’t that also something warm and meaningful? If individuals willingly offer each other this kind of support, then laws and institutions should evolve to reflect and facilitate it. As these alternative forms of family become more stable and healthy, the overall happiness index of our society is bound to rise as well.)
What a beautiful and necessary perspective!
September 25, 2025
4.5 stars. Hana and Sunwoo are two women in their forties who decide to platonically cohabitate in Seoul-- something that isn't too common in Korea's rigid family structure. This memoir chronicles the trials and tribulations of living together, as well as the camaraderie between them (and their four cats!) in a humorous dual narrative that may also serve well as a guide on how to live harmoniously with others.
October 7, 2025
A very wholesome lil book with lil blurbs about Hana and Sunwoo, two friends who cohabitate platonically and own a home together. An enjoyable read that made me want to adopt 2-4 more cats immediately!!!
January 25, 2026
I'M SO GLAD THIS BOOK EXISTS !! MORE REPRESENTATION LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD, PLEASE !!
“existing for the sake of appealing to a man does nothing for my self-worth or happiness.”
“what gives people the right to pry into someone's life as if they're in charge of it? perceived to be young and naïve, unwed women are often subjected to such invasive surveillance.”
“i don’t buy less books, but i do read a lot more. if similarities bring people together, differences fill the spaces between them.”
“existing for the sake of appealing to a man does nothing for my self-worth or happiness.”
“what gives people the right to pry into someone's life as if they're in charge of it? perceived to be young and naïve, unwed women are often subjected to such invasive surveillance.”
“i don’t buy less books, but i do read a lot more. if similarities bring people together, differences fill the spaces between them.”
January 27, 2026
I’ve enjoyed getting to take a moment walking through in Hana’s and Sunwoos lives. It can get repetitive from chapter to chapter, but a lot of that’s just how thoughtfully the authors wanted to paint each subject in their life. Overall a very cozy read.
January 24, 2026
Very lovely book about the friendship between two women, their cats, and exploring a different style of family dynamics and expectations.
did-not-finish
February 3, 2026Audiobook DNFed @ 7%. After a few chapters, I could discern no difference between the narrative voices of the two women.
June 26, 2020
간만에 말랑한 책.
October 29, 2025
this is a gentle and grounded collection of essays about two women in their thirties who choose to share a home, share the logistics of living, and slowly, quietly, share a life. what i enjoyed most was how ordinary the book allows itself to be. instead of stretching for big emotional revelations or dramatic friendship narratives, kim hana and hwang sunwoo focus on the very real day-to-day: how to divide chores, how to navigate differing habits, how a shared space becomes a shared rhythm.
the friendship here is never forced into sentimentality; it grows through grocery lists, weekend cleaning, silent mornings, and the ongoing negotiation of personal boundaries. there’s a certain tenderness in how they allow one another to simply exist.
this makes the book a comforting, steady read, something that feels particularly relatable for millennial women building self-chosen support systems outside of traditional family structures. i also appreciated how the essays highlight companionship as a valid and meaningful form of intimacy, without having to label or explain it.
it’s a light read in tone (i found myself picking it up before bed), but the themes linger: how we create home, how we care for others, and how friendship can be a long-term life practice.
in a nutshell: a quiet, reflective book about living alongside another person and letting that gentle closeness reshape your world.
-------
ditching gender norms and societal expectations...it could be an important book for me ;)
*thank you to Ecco for the ARC*
the friendship here is never forced into sentimentality; it grows through grocery lists, weekend cleaning, silent mornings, and the ongoing negotiation of personal boundaries. there’s a certain tenderness in how they allow one another to simply exist.
this makes the book a comforting, steady read, something that feels particularly relatable for millennial women building self-chosen support systems outside of traditional family structures. i also appreciated how the essays highlight companionship as a valid and meaningful form of intimacy, without having to label or explain it.
it’s a light read in tone (i found myself picking it up before bed), but the themes linger: how we create home, how we care for others, and how friendship can be a long-term life practice.
in a nutshell: a quiet, reflective book about living alongside another person and letting that gentle closeness reshape your world.
-------
ditching gender norms and societal expectations...it could be an important book for me ;)
*thank you to Ecco for the ARC*
May 4, 2021
‘’無論家庭的型態是什麼樣子，我們會彼此依靠，也會帶著兩倍的快樂走過人生的各種曲折。‘’
‘’對於越不了解、越疏遠、越缺乏愛的對象，就越容易將其一般化，就算被胡亂包在一起互相抵銷也無所謂。‘’
‘’同居人來說，最重要的特質不是生活方式是否契合，而是有沒有心為了共同生活努力。‘’
‘’一個人做的一切都會變成記憶，但和別人一起做，就會變成回憶。‘’
好喜歡書裡的兩位主角，獨立卻又能互相扶持陪伴的女性，喜歡他們對生活的堅持，對韓國不平等的性別文化的反思，是我想要成為的大人模樣。和好友G一起住的這兩年是我工作後不可獲缺的快樂來源，讓我不知不覺中對這個這個我曾經以為我一輩子都無法喜歡的城市產生了一種稱之為家的依戀，謝謝妳的陪伴。
‘’對於越不了解、越疏遠、越缺乏愛的對象，就越容易將其一般化，就算被胡亂包在一起互相抵銷也無所謂。‘’
‘’同居人來說，最重要的特質不是生活方式是否契合，而是有沒有心為了共同生活努力。‘’
‘’一個人做的一切都會變成記憶，但和別人一起做，就會變成回憶。‘’
好喜歡書裡的兩位主角，獨立卻又能互相扶持陪伴的女性，喜歡他們對生活的堅持，對韓國不平等的性別文化的反思，是我想要成為的大人模樣。和好友G一起住的這兩年是我工作後不可獲缺的快樂來源，讓我不知不覺中對這個這個我曾經以為我一輩子都無法喜歡的城市產生了一種稱之為家的依戀，謝謝妳的陪伴。
January 25, 2026
Two women living together platonically.,two friends sharing a home supporting each other sharing rent bills their lives.This was a wonderful read
I enjoyed getting to know these women.who have uniquely decide to live together grow old together sharing their lives a couple with no romantic relationship.
I enjoyed getting to know these women.who have uniquely decide to live together grow old together sharing their lives a couple with no romantic relationship.
March 17, 2024
Made me dream of my own future
January 30, 2026
Two women in their late 30s who lived alone decided to buy an apartment in Seoul together and to live together as cohabitants with two cats from each. There's nothing romantic about their relationship, just pure friendship and respect.
The memoir is a collection of essays written by both of them. Sometimes they wrote on similar topics, but mostly different but related ones. Altogether the essays present the journey of them living together. Hana was a popular book recommendation podcast host, and Sunwoo worked as an editor in big fashion magazine for decades. Their writings are quite good. The writing styles differ a bit, but all the essays are easy to read.
The book covers all topics you might have in mind when you heard about the premise for the first time. And in my opinion everyone can benefit a lot from this book. The things they went through can happen to anyone living with a partner or roommate, regardless of the gender and types of relationship. They talked about why all of a sudden they decided to give up living alone in their late 30s, how they developed their friendship and agreed to buy an apartment together, how house hunting and house renovation went, how they individually felt about the financial pressure of buying the house, how they went through career crisis and career changes soon after the house purchase, how they fought with each other at the beginning after moving in together and how they eventually both compromised and adapted, how they got along with each other's family members and how that differed with traditional in-law relationships for women, how they both worried about the future of their relationship but eventually made peace with it, how they appreciated and learned from each other and lived a better life, how they developed hobbies and later a band and later a popular podcast together. The list went on and on.
Hana and Sunwoo are lucky and privileged in some sense. They both have very good career and good income, though when applying for a mortgage Hana's freelancer income was not good enough at that time. They took some risks and lots of debts, but they also managed to pay off half of their debt in a year. Then they paid off the mortgage after they published this book in South Korea in 2019, which was about 3 years after buying the house. And they happened to share so much interests together and had complementary personalities and habits. Most people don't have such good income to afford a big apartment in Seoul with a view of Han River, and even fewer people have such a good friend. Nevertheless, the stories and discussions in this 10-year-old book is ever more relevant nowadays. And the two friends still live happily together. It's only January but I'm sure this would be one of my favorite memoir of this year.
You can follow Hana on instagram to get a glance of corners of that apartment, and enjoy the music they play together. It's a pity I don't speak any Korean. Otherwise their "Two Women Talk" podcast would be interesting to listen to. And I saw Hana's mother published a memoir on aging solo as a woman. But it's not translated into English yet...
The memoir is a collection of essays written by both of them. Sometimes they wrote on similar topics, but mostly different but related ones. Altogether the essays present the journey of them living together. Hana was a popular book recommendation podcast host, and Sunwoo worked as an editor in big fashion magazine for decades. Their writings are quite good. The writing styles differ a bit, but all the essays are easy to read.
The book covers all topics you might have in mind when you heard about the premise for the first time. And in my opinion everyone can benefit a lot from this book. The things they went through can happen to anyone living with a partner or roommate, regardless of the gender and types of relationship. They talked about why all of a sudden they decided to give up living alone in their late 30s, how they developed their friendship and agreed to buy an apartment together, how house hunting and house renovation went, how they individually felt about the financial pressure of buying the house, how they went through career crisis and career changes soon after the house purchase, how they fought with each other at the beginning after moving in together and how they eventually both compromised and adapted, how they got along with each other's family members and how that differed with traditional in-law relationships for women, how they both worried about the future of their relationship but eventually made peace with it, how they appreciated and learned from each other and lived a better life, how they developed hobbies and later a band and later a popular podcast together. The list went on and on.
Hana and Sunwoo are lucky and privileged in some sense. They both have very good career and good income, though when applying for a mortgage Hana's freelancer income was not good enough at that time. They took some risks and lots of debts, but they also managed to pay off half of their debt in a year. Then they paid off the mortgage after they published this book in South Korea in 2019, which was about 3 years after buying the house. And they happened to share so much interests together and had complementary personalities and habits. Most people don't have such good income to afford a big apartment in Seoul with a view of Han River, and even fewer people have such a good friend. Nevertheless, the stories and discussions in this 10-year-old book is ever more relevant nowadays. And the two friends still live happily together. It's only January but I'm sure this would be one of my favorite memoir of this year.
You can follow Hana on instagram to get a glance of corners of that apartment, and enjoy the music they play together. It's a pity I don't speak any Korean. Otherwise their "Two Women Talk" podcast would be interesting to listen to. And I saw Hana's mother published a memoir on aging solo as a woman. But it's not translated into English yet...
March 30, 2022
去年就留意到《兩個女人住一起：非關愛情的同居時代》，即使是有婚姻關係或血緣關係的親人，都有可能因為錢財因素起糾紛甚至撕破臉，兩位作者並非伴侶也不是親戚，她們做出共同購屋的決定時，是如何將雙方的權責劃分清楚？又是什麼因素促成她們選擇與同性友人同住的決定呢？我很好奇金荷娜與黃善宇兩位作者經歷了怎麼樣的心路歷程決定一起購屋同住，總算有時間拿起這本書拜讀解惑。
本作由金荷娜、黃善宇共同執筆而成，她們在書中分享兩人相識熟稔的過程，來往中仔細觀察對方的品格、喜好、價值觀、金錢觀是否相近，一起償還房屋貸款，同住後生活習慣不同的磨合期與朝夕相處發現同居人值得尊敬的優點，相伴後感受到的快樂‧‧‧‧‧‧等等經歷。兩位作者的文筆流暢優美，引人會心一笑的妙喻俯拾皆是，一月底的時候精神比較緊繃，讀得相當緩慢，這幾天情緒較放鬆，心無罣礙的狀態下這次迅速而順暢地讀完了。
書中第一個觸動我的敘述，是金、黃兩人個別描述自己在獨身生活裡從享受到疲憊的瞬間，從某一刻起感受到與人相伴而行的溫暖與獨自時無人可分享的寂寥，兩者帶來的負荷與溫度差。金荷娜女士自述：
「那是在釜山爸媽家過夜的某天早上。爸媽一大早就在準備早餐，瓦斯爐上不知道在煮什麼，發出咕嘟咕嘟的沸騰聲。我很自然地被擱放碗盤時互相碰撞的聲音吵醒，聞到了米飯和湯的香味。我在聲響與香氣之中躺臥著，覺得好溫暖、好溫暖，莫名有點想流淚。這些之所以會讓我覺得那麼溫暖，也意味著我獨自在靜謐早晨起床時的溫度並非如此。自從那天早晨之後，我開始留意自己一個人住時必須耗費的能量，尤其到了晚上，我會不自覺地花很多力氣在胡思亂想與不安感上頭。可能就是在那個時間點，那種疲勞感超越了獨自生活的輕盈與享受。」（金，頁七）
至今我與人相處收獲到的正向感受仍然遠遠比不上獨處時所體會到的自在悠然，但讀著這段情境描述，不知為何能夠同理那種心情。而看到黃善宇女士的體悟則是讓我思考著是否會有那麼一天，因為忍受不了只能將內心的感嘆吞嚥下去的滋味，而重新選擇新的生活方式？或者尋找適當的人生夥伴一起共度餘生？雖然頻率不多，但偶爾獨自嚥下所有情緒的體驗像是泛起漣漪的水面一樣，忽然出現，頃刻間又恢復平靜，看似沒有留下任何痕跡的那瞬間寂寞開始漫延到身周。或許這樣的情緒堆疊到某個程度後，我會做出不同於以往的改變也不一定？我忍不住這麼想。
「我依然覺得獨自吃的飯很美味，也熱愛獨自旅行的簡便機動性，但另一方面也開始相信，一個人座的一切都會成為記憶，但和別人一起做，就會變成回憶。嘗過把那些感嘆或嘀咕，都像內心獨白般把它們吞下去的滋味後，我開始想要把它們說出口了。」（黃，頁十四）
兩位作者皆年過四十，這個年紀多半已累積豐富的社會經歷，對於自己想要追求的生活與不想要的生活應該也有了較清明的意識了吧？至少金荷娜女士就表現出這種清醒，即使體會到自己想脫離獨居生活，也很明白不能為了擺脫現在的痛苦而胡亂作出選擇，盲目地跳進婚姻制度，以下這段話也令我心有戚戚焉，讓我覺得有這番認知的金女士好帥氣、好俐落喔！
「但結婚似乎不是答案。為了逃避獨處的疲累就跳進婚姻制度、婆家生活和父權制之中，無疑是自投羅網的愚蠢行為。假如真有魅力爆棚、足以把我變成愛情傻子的男人突然出現，也許就很難說，但這也不是我想要的，於是我很自然地開始摸索其他的生活方式。」（金，頁七）
兩人在同住期間也體會到許多新的經驗，首先是磨合期的兩人在吵架中學會道歉與溝通的技術，黃善宇女士是熱衷購物而不諳整理的人、金荷娜女士則是有極簡主義精神的人，這樣的兩人從搬家初期開始就因物品數量的標準不一致、家務分配不均造成的內心不平衡而起了衝突，反覆爭執、道歉、和好後，她們找到了適切的步調，讓自己和同居人在新家都能快活度日。兩人不是擁有血緣羈絆的親人，也不是締結婚姻關係的伴侶，正因她們只是兩名選擇彼此成為同居室友的朋友，為了日後能夠長期自在相處，勢必得協調出兩人都能接受的生活方式與權責劃分。我很喜歡她們敘述體認到雙方既然要同住，就必須有為共同生活努力的共識、要有照顧對方感受的認知，總覺得在這拉鋸戰的過程裡，她們已經磨合出健康良好的同居心態。
「一個人雖然也能幸福，但既然決定讓某個人進入自己的世界，就必須照顧彼此的感受與狀態，為此付出努力。我們仍會吵架，快速和好後，再繼續吵。儘管一再原諒對方後又會失望，但我們依舊沒有放棄期望，不斷給彼此機會。而我知道，持續交戰的狀態，比完全不吵架時的脆弱和平要健康得多。」（黃，頁一一一）
「對同居人來說，最重要的特質不是生活方式是否契合，而是有沒有心為了共同生活努力。唯有如此，就算產生衝突，也才能夠修補關係。」（金，頁一一五）
「這段時間彼此慢慢放下的，是企圖控制對方的心，取而代之的，是將兩人共同的理想住家樣貌與狀態、各自想確保的私人空間明確說清楚，並一起努力達成。試圖改變對方只會帶來爭吵，這件事從一開始就不可能發生。兩人一起為了相同目標努力，才是團體生活需要的團隊精神。」（金，頁一一五至頁一一六）
金荷娜女士、黃善宇女士輪流寫生活發生的大小事，兩人本身都各有才情，對私生活也有自己的喜好與品味，分享見聞時會讓我有「喔喔——原來在這種情況下可以獲得小小的感動啊！」例如，金女士分享收到向摯友黃英珠訂製的美麗書櫃時的感動改變她對家的認知（金荷娜〈自炊族何時會變成獨身族？〉）、兩人在新家裝修的忙碌期間思考著能讓她們確實獲得幸福感的事物是什麼。順道一提，我很喜歡文章裡分享濟州島書店老闆李榮珠的體悟：「幸福是獲得保障的未來」這個答案。（金荷娜〈奶油就是幸福！〉）
我很喜歡她們觀察生活細微變化的敏銳心思，這份心思讓她們在同居日常裡的每一樣新發現，都化為對同居人的進一步理解或欣賞，同時深刻體會到同居生活為自身帶來的變化。讀完一個人眼中所見所感後，接著在下一篇文章讀另一個人眼中的新生活，可以互相對照她們感想的相同與迥異之處裡得到更多樂趣。像是黃善宇女士所寫的〈兩種人〉一文，兩人都是書蟲，但奉行的購書原則有些許差異，衝突之後確立了空間守則，兩人也分別因為對方的因素而受惠。
作者們聊書、聊音樂、聊料理都很有意思，黃善宇女士精於烹飪，也樂於用食物取悅身邊親友，所以文章裡還可以看到她分享為了回報或褒獎同居人辛勤打理家裡環境的努力，會在閒暇時間細心準備的食物聊表心意，兩人之間互相回饋的氣氛讓我覺得很美好和悅，而黃女士也是對下廚樂在其中的人，那份很開心為你們準備這些美味料理的喜悅都在字裡行間流露出來了。
我對《兩個女人住一起：非關愛情的同居時代》感興趣的理由，除了第一段陳述的部份以外，另一個原因可能是想看看不一樣的生活方式吧。要是未來我有類似的念頭，想找志同道合的夥伴一起同住、互相扶持，就可以從這本書參考前輩們的經驗和她們遇到的坎。整本書讀起來散發著恰到好處的舒適，兩人一起打拼整頓出來的家、熟悉的同居人，這裡能夠讓彼此非常安心生活下去的氣氛，書裡有提供作者們在家的照片，還有四隻貓咪的居家照和文字介紹來歷個性，熱愛貓咪的我看得非常開心，同時覺得這些安排體現出金女士、黃女士將貓咪們視為家人的用心。
本作由金荷娜、黃善宇共同執筆而成，她們在書中分享兩人相識熟稔的過程，來往中仔細觀察對方的品格、喜好、價值觀、金錢觀是否相近，一起償還房屋貸款，同住後生活習慣不同的磨合期與朝夕相處發現同居人值得尊敬的優點，相伴後感受到的快樂‧‧‧‧‧‧等等經歷。兩位作者的文筆流暢優美，引人會心一笑的妙喻俯拾皆是，一月底的時候精神比較緊繃，讀得相當緩慢，這幾天情緒較放鬆，心無罣礙的狀態下這次迅速而順暢地讀完了。
書中第一個觸動我的敘述，是金、黃兩人個別描述自己在獨身生活裡從享受到疲憊的瞬間，從某一刻起感受到與人相伴而行的溫暖與獨自時無人可分享的寂寥，兩者帶來的負荷與溫度差。金荷娜女士自述：
「那是在釜山爸媽家過夜的某天早上。爸媽一大早就在準備早餐，瓦斯爐上不知道在煮什麼，發出咕嘟咕嘟的沸騰聲。我很自然地被擱放碗盤時互相碰撞的聲音吵醒，聞到了米飯和湯的香味。我在聲響與香氣之中躺臥著，覺得好溫暖、好溫暖，莫名有點想流淚。這些之所以會讓我覺得那麼溫暖，也意味著我獨自在靜謐早晨起床時的溫度並非如此。自從那天早晨之後，我開始留意自己一個人住時必須耗費的能量，尤其到了晚上，我會不自覺地花很多力氣在胡思亂想與不安感上頭。可能就是在那個時間點，那種疲勞感超越了獨自生活的輕盈與享受。」（金，頁七）
至今我與人相處收獲到的正向感受仍然遠遠比不上獨處時所體會到的自在悠然，但讀著這段情境描述，不知為何能夠同理那種心情。而看到黃善宇女士的體悟則是讓我思考著是否會有那麼一天，因為忍受不了只能將內心的感嘆吞嚥下去的滋味，而重新選擇新的生活方式？或者尋找適當的人生夥伴一起共度餘生？雖然頻率不多，但偶爾獨自嚥下所有情緒的體驗像是泛起漣漪的水面一樣，忽然出現，頃刻間又恢復平靜，看似沒有留下任何痕跡的那瞬間寂寞開始漫延到身周。或許這樣的情緒堆疊到某個程度後，我會做出不同於以往的改變也不一定？我忍不住這麼想。
「我依然覺得獨自吃的飯很美味，也熱愛獨自旅行的簡便機動性，但另一方面也開始相信，一個人座的一切都會成為記憶，但和別人一起做，就會變成回憶。嘗過把那些感嘆或嘀咕，都像內心獨白般把它們吞下去的滋味後，我開始想要把它們說出口了。」（黃，頁十四）
兩位作者皆年過四十，這個年紀多半已累積豐富的社會經歷，對於自己想要追求的生活與不想要的生活應該也有了較清明的意識了吧？至少金荷娜女士就表現出這種清醒，即使體會到自己想脫離獨居生活，也很明白不能為了擺脫現在的痛苦而胡亂作出選擇，盲目地跳進婚姻制度，以下這段話也令我心有戚戚焉，讓我覺得有這番認知的金女士好帥氣、好俐落喔！
「但結婚似乎不是答案。為了逃避獨處的疲累就跳進婚姻制度、婆家生活和父權制之中，無疑是自投羅網的愚蠢行為。假如真有魅力爆棚、足以把我變成愛情傻子的男人突然出現，也許就很難說，但這也不是我想要的，於是我很自然地開始摸索其他的生活方式。」（金，頁七）
兩人在同住期間也體會到許多新的經驗，首先是磨合期的兩人在吵架中學會道歉與溝通的技術，黃善宇女士是熱衷購物而不諳整理的人、金荷娜女士則是有極簡主義精神的人，這樣的兩人從搬家初期開始就因物品數量的標準不一致、家務分配不均造成的內心不平衡而起了衝突，反覆爭執、道歉、和好後，她們找到了適切的步調，讓自己和同居人在新家都能快活度日。兩人不是擁有血緣羈絆的親人，也不是締結婚姻關係的伴侶，正因她們只是兩名選擇彼此成為同居室友的朋友，為了日後能夠長期自在相處，勢必得協調出兩人都能接受的生活方式與權責劃分。我很喜歡她們敘述體認到雙方既然要同住，就必須有為共同生活努力的共識、要有照顧對方感受的認知，總覺得在這拉鋸戰的過程裡，她們已經磨合出健康良好的同居心態。
「一個人雖然也能幸福，但既然決定讓某個人進入自己的世界，就必須照顧彼此的感受與狀態，為此付出努力。我們仍會吵架，快速和好後，再繼續吵。儘管一再原諒對方後又會失望，但我們依舊沒有放棄期望，不斷給彼此機會。而我知道，持續交戰的狀態，比完全不吵架時的脆弱和平要健康得多。」（黃，頁一一一）
「對同居人來說，最重要的特質不是生活方式是否契合，而是有沒有心為了共同生活努力。唯有如此，就算產生衝突，也才能夠修補關係。」（金，頁一一五）
「這段時間彼此慢慢放下的，是企圖控制對方的心，取而代之的，是將兩人共同的理想住家樣貌與狀態、各自想確保的私人空間明確說清楚，並一起努力達成。試圖改變對方只會帶來爭吵，這件事從一開始就不可能發生。兩人一起為了相同目標努力，才是團體生活需要的團隊精神。」（金，頁一一五至頁一一六）
金荷娜女士、黃善宇女士輪流寫生活發生的大小事，兩人本身都各有才情，對私生活也有自己的喜好與品味，分享見聞時會讓我有「喔喔——原來在這種情況下可以獲得小小的感動啊！」例如，金女士分享收到向摯友黃英珠訂製的美麗書櫃時的感動改變她對家的認知（金荷娜〈自炊族何時會變成獨身族？〉）、兩人在新家裝修的忙碌期間思考著能讓她們確實獲得幸福感的事物是什麼。順道一提，我很喜歡文章裡分享濟州島書店老闆李榮珠的體悟：「幸福是獲得保障的未來」這個答案。（金荷娜〈奶油就是幸福！〉）
我很喜歡她們觀察生活細微變化的敏銳心思，這份心思讓她們在同居日常裡的每一樣新發現，都化為對同居人的進一步理解或欣賞，同時深刻體會到同居生活為自身帶來的變化。讀完一個人眼中所見所感後，接著在下一篇文章讀另一個人眼中的新生活，可以互相對照她們感想的相同與迥異之處裡得到更多樂趣。像是黃善宇女士所寫的〈兩種人〉一文，兩人都是書蟲，但奉行的購書原則有些許差異，衝突之後確立了空間守則，兩人也分別因為對方的因素而受惠。
作者們聊書、聊音樂、聊料理都很有意思，黃善宇女士精於烹飪，也樂於用食物取悅身邊親友，所以文章裡還可以看到她分享為了回報或褒獎同居人辛勤打理家裡環境的努力，會在閒暇時間細心準備的食物聊表心意，兩人之間互相回饋的氣氛讓我覺得很美好和悅，而黃女士也是對下廚樂在其中的人，那份很開心為你們準備這些美味料理的喜悅都在字裡行間流露出來了。
我對《兩個女人住一起：非關愛情的同居時代》感興趣的理由，除了第一段陳述的部份以外，另一個原因可能是想看看不一樣的生活方式吧。要是未來我有類似的念頭，想找志同道合的夥伴一起同住、互相扶持，就可以從這本書參考前輩們的經驗和她們遇到的坎。整本書讀起來散發著恰到好處的舒適，兩人一起打拼整頓出來的家、熟悉的同居人，這裡能夠讓彼此非常安心生活下去的氣氛，書裡有提供作者們在家的照片，還有四隻貓咪的居家照和文字介紹來歷個性，熱愛貓咪的我看得非常開心，同時覺得這些安排體現出金女士、黃女士將貓咪們視為家人的用心。
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 2, 2026
A poignant and prescient exploration of relationships outside traditional nuclear family structures—what we might might call a queer platonic partnership in the US. Even within the queer community, so few people can imagine a living situation outside one formed with a romantic partnership, and as an asexual woman who has spent most of her adult life living with various roommates who were just waiting for the "real" part of their life to start, it was so refreshing to read about two women who have decided that their platonic relationship was something to cherish.
The memoir is a quick read, full of some great quotes (see below), and the only thing keeping it from 5 stars for me was that since all of the chapters are self-contained snapshots of their lives, organized achronologically and therefore sometimes lacking cohesion and consistency, I liked some better than others. Also Hana, you do not need a new set of towels every 2 years! XD
The memoir is a quick read, full of some great quotes (see below), and the only thing keeping it from 5 stars for me was that since all of the chapters are self-contained snapshots of their lives, organized achronologically and therefore sometimes lacking cohesion and consistency, I liked some better than others. Also Hana, you do not need a new set of towels every 2 years! XD
At some point, I started to believe that aloneness resembled order: efficient, comfortable, beautiful."
People, too, possess their own climates and cultures, and spending time with someone is like exploring a new destination."
"Is marriage a relationship's final destination, or pinnacle of success? I certainly don't think so now. But there was a time when I though about getting married, not because there was someone who I deeply loved, but just because the thought would flit across my mind now and then.
"I think there are many women who are like me in my twenties, that is, the me who believed that I'll get married the way I eat when I get hungry, or land a job after I graduate. Someone who has yet to ask themselves if their personality or temperament suits a married lifestyle, and if the way they want to live life can be squeezed into the box labeled 'family.'"
"When I talk to my married friends, I learn that rather than facing different problems, the nature of our concerns are actually quite similar. The only difference is, perhaps, that they have a few more on their list."
"Existing for the sake of appealing to a man does nothing for my self-worth or happiness."
"There are people who see their singlehood as a period of marriage preparation. Nowadays, as people are getting married later, that period of singlehood can stretch and eat into future plans. As such, treating that period of singlehood as the prologue to one's real trajectory means living in limbo for a long time."
"If only there were an option that connotes greater responsibility and trust than 'friend', so that Hana and I could check it...a word like 'life partner' perhaps."
January 12, 2026
What I find so deeply empowering about this book is how it centres two single women who choose to live together, quietly but firmly stepping outside what society tells us a “complete” life should look like. A huge part of why I loved this book so much is how uncannily relatable it felt to me:
single ✔️
have a cat / cats ✔️
don’t see myself getting married anytime soon ✔️
plan to live alone ✔️
Reading about their anxieties around living alone felt visceral and honest, and it made me pause to consider the kind of life I might build if I chose to move out and live independently. The book doesn’t just romanticise cohabitation; it shows both its beauty and its friction—the negotiations, the compromises, the slow learning of how to live with another person, especially when one is meticulously tidy and the other leans towards hoarding. One line that stayed with me was Sunwoo recalling what her boss said on marriage, “Living together with someone is communal living. The best partner isn't someone whose lifestyle matches yours but someone who is willing to put in the effort to create a lifestyle with you.”
I loved how these ruminations naturally open into reflections on marriage itself—how it, too, is a form of cohabitation, only layered with in-laws, expectations, and the labour of maintaining familial ties. What Sunwoo and Hana have may not exist on paper, but it quietly redefines traditional relationships. It feels like a deeply viable, even hopeful, option for singles who might otherwise fear growing old alone. They show up for one another in moments of grief and uncertainty, and they champion each other’s dreams with tenderness and resolve.
Another aspect that resonated so strongly with me is that they’re cat parents. I couldn’t help but think of how my parents didn’t want another cat after my previous one passed, and how I still snuck Ehsan home one day because I wanted to be a cat mum regardless. This passage truly undid me:
“A happy life isn’t achieved by preparing for and avoiding pain, loss and agony. Without those, perhaps life wouldn’t be life at all. Had I known about the difficulties of watching my cats grow old and sick, and the pain of saying goodbye, would I have given up the life that Haku and I have built together? But the moments before the farewell, the moments when we love with every fibre of our being, the memories that rekindle a loved one’s peculiarity, and those that sometimes bring us pain — aren’t those the pieces that make up the fabric of life?”
It made me think about companionship in a broader sense—about choosing love despite impermanence, about how sharing a life, even platonically, can bring double the joy and halve the pain. A pain shared really is a pain softened.
This is a non-fiction book not to be missed!
single ✔️
have a cat / cats ✔️
don’t see myself getting married anytime soon ✔️
plan to live alone ✔️
Reading about their anxieties around living alone felt visceral and honest, and it made me pause to consider the kind of life I might build if I chose to move out and live independently. The book doesn’t just romanticise cohabitation; it shows both its beauty and its friction—the negotiations, the compromises, the slow learning of how to live with another person, especially when one is meticulously tidy and the other leans towards hoarding. One line that stayed with me was Sunwoo recalling what her boss said on marriage, “Living together with someone is communal living. The best partner isn't someone whose lifestyle matches yours but someone who is willing to put in the effort to create a lifestyle with you.”
I loved how these ruminations naturally open into reflections on marriage itself—how it, too, is a form of cohabitation, only layered with in-laws, expectations, and the labour of maintaining familial ties. What Sunwoo and Hana have may not exist on paper, but it quietly redefines traditional relationships. It feels like a deeply viable, even hopeful, option for singles who might otherwise fear growing old alone. They show up for one another in moments of grief and uncertainty, and they champion each other’s dreams with tenderness and resolve.
Another aspect that resonated so strongly with me is that they’re cat parents. I couldn’t help but think of how my parents didn’t want another cat after my previous one passed, and how I still snuck Ehsan home one day because I wanted to be a cat mum regardless. This passage truly undid me:
“A happy life isn’t achieved by preparing for and avoiding pain, loss and agony. Without those, perhaps life wouldn’t be life at all. Had I known about the difficulties of watching my cats grow old and sick, and the pain of saying goodbye, would I have given up the life that Haku and I have built together? But the moments before the farewell, the moments when we love with every fibre of our being, the memories that rekindle a loved one’s peculiarity, and those that sometimes bring us pain — aren’t those the pieces that make up the fabric of life?”
It made me think about companionship in a broader sense—about choosing love despite impermanence, about how sharing a life, even platonically, can bring double the joy and halve the pain. A pain shared really is a pain softened.
This is a non-fiction book not to be missed!
January 29, 2026
3.5 stars
True confession: I seemed to have missed the words “The Bestselling Korean Memoir” in this book’s subtitle. I totally thought this was a novel until I realized this was an actual account of two women’s lives.
That being said, while the book definitely landed more on the practical side for me, I found it to be an interesting read. Each chapter felt like it centered on a valuable lesson or piece of advice.
Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo were two women living in Korea. Each had a career and friends they enjoyed. They also both lived alone, and loved it that way: the solitude, the independence, having their own space to do what they wanted.
Hana and Sunwoo became friends and realized they shared not only common interests and passions, but also philosophies about life and living. Plus, each had two cats. Yet as they approached their 40s, both women realized that there was something to be said for human companionship. Neither was in a romantic relationship and didn’t see that as a real possibility, so they made the decision to buy a house together.
This wasn’t a romantic or sexual partnership, nor was it two acquaintances living together until something better came along. This was creating a chosen family, integrating each other into their lives but maintaining their own identities as well.
The book recounts their decision, how they put it into action, and the things they learned. What it’s like to suddenly depend on someone else yet retain your own independence and individuality. How to reconcile chores and other household responsibilities. And perhaps most importantly, how to acclimate four cats into one household. This was funny, insightful, a bit moving at times, and really unique.
Check out my best reads of 2025 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2026/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2025.html .
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/getbookedwithlarry/.
True confession: I seemed to have missed the words “The Bestselling Korean Memoir” in this book’s subtitle. I totally thought this was a novel until I realized this was an actual account of two women’s lives.
That being said, while the book definitely landed more on the practical side for me, I found it to be an interesting read. Each chapter felt like it centered on a valuable lesson or piece of advice.
Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo were two women living in Korea. Each had a career and friends they enjoyed. They also both lived alone, and loved it that way: the solitude, the independence, having their own space to do what they wanted.
Hana and Sunwoo became friends and realized they shared not only common interests and passions, but also philosophies about life and living. Plus, each had two cats. Yet as they approached their 40s, both women realized that there was something to be said for human companionship. Neither was in a romantic relationship and didn’t see that as a real possibility, so they made the decision to buy a house together.
This wasn’t a romantic or sexual partnership, nor was it two acquaintances living together until something better came along. This was creating a chosen family, integrating each other into their lives but maintaining their own identities as well.
The book recounts their decision, how they put it into action, and the things they learned. What it’s like to suddenly depend on someone else yet retain your own independence and individuality. How to reconcile chores and other household responsibilities. And perhaps most importantly, how to acclimate four cats into one household. This was funny, insightful, a bit moving at times, and really unique.
Check out my best reads of 2025 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2026/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2025.html .
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/getbookedwithlarry/.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
TWO WOMEN LIVING TOGETHER, a memoir by 황선우 & 김하나 (translated by Gene Png), was a tender, informative, and at times funny look at two Korean women in their forties who are single, with marriage not in their future. These two friends decide it’s better to live with someone than alone, purchase an apartment together in Seoul, South Korea, and build a family of their own, going against traditional family structure and societal norms.
I especially liked:
How they go into detail about how the idea formed, the steps they took, and the nitty-gritty of what worked and what they had to navigate together. I especially appreciated the chapters on finances. Money plays such a huge role in our lives, and it would have felt unrealistic for two people to buy a home together without honest conversations about it.
I also appreciated how often they acknowledge their differences, how they had to work through them, make compromises, and ultimately be okay with not being the same.
I did have a few complaints, though most felt like possible editing issues. Rather than a cohesive memoir, the book reads more like a collection of essays, and the overall flow isn’t very strong. (That said, this did make it easier to pick back up.)
There isn’t much of a plot and the pace is slow, but I still appreciated each essay, especially for anyone considering the big step of buying a home and moving in with a friend who can become your legal 보호자, a lifelong (platonic) partner. (Why do we focus so much on romantic partners, yet rarely give the same weight or importance to platonic friendships?)
Overall, I really liked this book for what it was and I’m glad it exists.
I don’t believe life is meant to be lived alone. This book was heartwarming in the way it encourages people to defy societal norms and “take the next step in life” by creating their own family, regardless of whatever “configuration” that might be.
I especially liked:
How they go into detail about how the idea formed, the steps they took, and the nitty-gritty of what worked and what they had to navigate together. I especially appreciated the chapters on finances. Money plays such a huge role in our lives, and it would have felt unrealistic for two people to buy a home together without honest conversations about it.
I also appreciated how often they acknowledge their differences, how they had to work through them, make compromises, and ultimately be okay with not being the same.
I did have a few complaints, though most felt like possible editing issues. Rather than a cohesive memoir, the book reads more like a collection of essays, and the overall flow isn’t very strong. (That said, this did make it easier to pick back up.)
There isn’t much of a plot and the pace is slow, but I still appreciated each essay, especially for anyone considering the big step of buying a home and moving in with a friend who can become your legal 보호자, a lifelong (platonic) partner. (Why do we focus so much on romantic partners, yet rarely give the same weight or importance to platonic friendships?)
Overall, I really liked this book for what it was and I’m glad it exists.
I don’t believe life is meant to be lived alone. This book was heartwarming in the way it encourages people to defy societal norms and “take the next step in life” by creating their own family, regardless of whatever “configuration” that might be.
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