Disclaimer: I received an e-ARC from the author.
Set in a world where sapphic women have magic abilities, Tiss wakes up in a temple with no memory of who she is. The sisters guarding the place tell her she dedicated her life to the worship of the Goddess Eisha, which includes a life of chastity. But not only does she soon witness harsh punishments inflicted on rulebreakers, she also feels an undeniable pull to the high priestess Elodie (who also sometimes is a man named El – I will be using names & pronouns interchangeably throughout this review), who tries (and fails) to keep her distance. Besides their clear sexual attraction and the danger that comes with acting on it, Tiss also knows that El knows much more than her about what’s going on here and despite him claiming he’s not telling her to protect her, she is going to do everything in her power to get some answers.
The story was off to a somewhat rocky start for me at first, due to the sexual tension and interactions between Elodie and Tiss not mixing that well with the unease and horror of witnessing brutal punishment of other women in the temple. While Tiss was aware that something very, very wrong was going on at the temple, including her own sense of unease with herself, the additional will-they-won’t-they made the story feel a bit too stretched out to keep up the sense of intrigue. However, at around the 30% mark the story manages to hit its stride and keeps the tension alive not just between El, Tiss and Sadrie (a fellow initiate Tiss also feels attracted to), but also with the darkness underlying the temple. At this point I found myself nearly unable to put the book down, because I just wanted to know what happened next and which part of the backstory would finally be revealed to shed a bit more light into their convoluted lives!
The unease of whatever mystery is happening in the temple is only rivaled by the unease of whatever is going on with Tiss as she slowly starts to lose control the rage and hunger that’s bubbling inside her. I like that this story explores grey areas of consent due to supernatural means as well as the fact that even supernatural changes in sexual drive and attractiveness do not replace the importance of consent, while still exploring the ways something like that could influence how people may choose to move forward afterwards. I was well prepared for a storyline like this both due to the author’s marketing as well as through the detailed trigger warnings, which is one of the major reasons I think this worked really well for me, but I would advise potential readers to consider the trigger warnings carefully.
I also really liked Elodie as representation of a genderfluid character, who finds her identity, in particular the masculinity that comes with El, often ignored or even judged as unbefitting of her role as high priestess, but she never backs down or makes herself small. Tiss’ knowledge of (despite never being directly told) and attraction to both Elodie and El was also really intriguing and made their interactions very interesting. I particularly enjoyed that the story does take care to show the differences between El and Elodie and highlight the differing ways they were attractive to Tiss without presenting one as inherently more attractive. One additional aspect that I found intriguing for this was that magic is highly gendered here and one thing that would have led to El’s death was avoided through him forcing his identity back to Elodie despite knowing the dysphoria that comes with repressing parts of his identity. His dysphoria was also not treated as something trivial or something he should just ignore, just because being gender fluid meant it wasn’t a constant feeling. I would have found it really interesting if these gendered aspects of magic had been explored in a bit more detail in what this means for trans women, who are not mentioned in the story, but despite this I enjoyed seeing how a gendered magic system interacts with transgender characters.
Finally, I really enjoyed the worldbuilding, the way the temple serves as both as sanctuary from cisheteropatriarchy and as a prison for those inside it and how Tiss’ amnesia and Elodie’s worry for hurting her by working against the magic causing it, made the things that we learn feel natural without being overwhelming or infodumping, while also giving Tiss a very good reason to be mad.
All in all, this story is a very spicy, rather dark fantasy story exploring sapphic attraction in a world where same-gender attraction and trans identity are both shunned by society, an intriguing magic system and an isolated temple, where dark deeds are happening. I had a fun time reading it and I’m very excited for the sequel!
4.5 stars
TW: abuse of power, amnesia, animal death, blood, body dysmorphia, captivity, corruption, cult, death (mentioned), derogatory slur (mentioned), drugging, dubious consent, forced marriage to a man (mentioned), gender dysphoria, grief, homophobia, ignoring safe words, manipulation, mental distress, misogyny, murder (mentioned), mutilation, physical assault, physical torture, poisoning, prejudice, religious trauma, self-harm, sexism, sexual assault, starvation, substance use, suicidal ideation, systemic oppression, trafficking of women, transphobia, trauma, violence