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Holy Disruptor: Shattering the Shiny Facade by Getting Louder with the Truth

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"Not only was I singled out and shamed, but I was lied to as well. I'm still trying to untangle the lies—some of them televised across the country—from the truth."

You've heard some of the the manipulation and abuse hidden behind the traditional Christian values that the Duggar family held up on TLC's hit reality show 19 Kids and Counting. As some of the scandal came to light, several of the Duggar children, including Jill and Jinger, have opened up about what it was like growing up in that environment.

But for the first time, Amy Duggar King—a close relative who spent almost every day with her 19 cousins and her aunt and uncle—brings the story into sharp relief, vulnerably sharing not only what life was like with the Duggars but how she, at the end of the day, had her own broken home to return to, a home that was hiding many other secrets.

Amy knows what it's like to be coerced and have her voice silenced. Her story reveals a world of unrealistic expectations and gaslighting in which a normal young woman had to untangle a web of carefully crafted lies while fighting to protect her own mental health. In that world, she was branded "Crazy Cousin Amy"—an identity she didn't choose but was forced to live into.

In Holy Disruptor, Amy gives her unfiltered testimony to finally break free from the toxic cycles that swirled around her and to confront the trauma she endured off-camera.

In the years since the Duggar family collapse, Amy has intentionally dissociated from the toxic family environment, which has helped her learn how to be a "holy disruptor" and make life-changing decisions for her well-being. This is a story about how she discovered that disrupting such deception is a holy act that brings freedom and joy...and it applies to you too. No matter what you've been told or how you've been manipulated in the past, freedom is waiting for you.

It's time to use your voice and get loud with the truth.

7 pages, Audible Audio

Published October 14, 2025

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Amy Duggar King

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5 stars
820 (27%)
4 stars
1,090 (37%)
3 stars
812 (27%)
2 stars
177 (6%)
1 star
33 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 307 reviews
Profile Image for ♥Milica♥.
1,917 reviews751 followers
December 12, 2025
Amy's story added a lot to the Duggar-verse, things I couldn't have even imagined (if you thought Josh was the only creep, think again). You can tell she's still being affected by it, because of how emotional she gets when she's narrating.

It was interesting to see how the seemingly more "normal" side (that was anything but) of the Duggar family lived, and how Amy found refuge from the abuse with her cousins, and their many rules.

She gives grace to some people who probably don't deserve it, while really going after others, but never to the point of being mean. I think she 100% could've been angrier, but I admire her restraint.

This is probably my second fav Duggar book now, the inside-outside perspective was very much needed, and I'm glad that Amy chose to share her story.
Profile Image for Casondra Radford.
32 reviews2 followers
October 16, 2025
I met Amy back in 2007 when I stayed with the Duggar family, and even then, I remember her quietly pulling me aside and sharing pieces of her story. She shared truths she was still finding the courage to speak. Reading Holy Disruptor felt like hearing the rest of that conversation all these years later, only now with strength, healing, and purpose woven through every page.

Amy tells her story with honesty and grace. She doesn’t sugarcoat the pain or the dysfunction she grew up in, but she also doesn’t stay there. What moved me most was how she transformed that generational toxicity into something healthy and hopeful for her own son. It’s not just a memoir; it’s a manual for anyone who’s determined to parent differently, to love deeply, and to break cycles that once felt unbreakable.

This book is brave, raw, and redemptive. I’m proud of the woman Amy has become and grateful she’s using her voice to bring light where silence once lived.
Profile Image for Andi W.
122 reviews7 followers
October 15, 2025
I assumed everyone thought of the "Crazy Amy" as ironic, bc it was so obvious that it was JB family that was behaving so crazy. Seeing them in contrast to a very normal young girl made it more obvious that they were a bit of a cult. Her reflections on generational trauma and abuse are touching and authentic. At times I did get a little confused as to when in time we were, but not a huge deal.
Profile Image for Stephanie Gonter.
27 reviews7 followers
October 7, 2025
I got an advanced listener copy of this book and knew I had to read it. Amy was my favorite “character” on 19 kids and counting. I found that I related to her in a lot of ways, and I believe they included her in the show so producers could show how different someone from the “outside world” was to the Duggar children.

Her story was heartbreaking and emotional. She seemed to tell her story with her heart on her sleeve and got rather emotional at times (rightfully so). Between her rough upbringing, discovering Josh’s behavior, and dealing with narcissistic men around every corner, Amy was the perfect narrator to tell her own account.
Profile Image for Megan Luhowy.
52 reviews1 follower
October 16, 2025
I remember watching Amy on TV growing up! I was looking forward to this book to gain some more insight into her life growing up and her Duggar cousins. While there were some really good chapters that gave insight into the Family habits/trauma the writing style felt conflicting in this book. I felt like I was consistently flipping from a memoir to a self help book to a religious book. I would have loved more continuity and more memoir focused writing.
63 reviews1 follower
December 3, 2025
I accidentally purchased this one instead of the one I wanted on audible, but decided "hey, may as well listen through it if I bought it anyway."

I read it from the perspective of someone who has never actually watched The Duggar show but am generally familiar with the family and closely acquainted with the Bill Gothard belief system.

My three stars is not based upon the actual recounting of her story itself. I fully emphasize with the trauma caused by the many forms of abuse going on within her family and applaud her for her ability to put into words and work through each of those abuses and traumas to create a better future for her own children.

I rated it low because the story was told in a really jumbled way. She jumped around timelines so much it was incredibly difficult to pinpoint where in the timeline we were as she told different aspects of the story. Which although typical when recounting abuse, when reading a book it was very difficult to follow. It's possible it would have made more sense had I actually watched the TV show and could recognize where in the story she was referring to. But it seems like you should write a book in such a way that it makes sense whether or not you have already watched 80 episodes of the duggers.

I think this book could possibly help someone who has not identified how harmful abuse within their home can be, but I'd say it's more likely to mostly resonate with people who understand and have already come through abuse themselves and are looking back. But I'm not necessarily sure if it would help them heal, more that they would understand what she is trying to say.
I think she's still dealing with a lot of anger, albeit justified anger, but hasn't necessarily found a healthy resting place of being able to both balance that evil was done requiring strict boundaries and that it's time to move on in her life and find peace. It's apparent she has started her healing journey, but I'm not sure she's finished it.

One side note that does not affect how I rated the book but is just a personal opinion.

She's obviously very close to her mother and grandmother, and I understand how love can fog your perspective. But it really bothered me how she really emphasized
'they kept me safe from my grandfather, making sure my door was locked at night.'
and almost idolized them for them that. But they did not remove her from his home. It is a common misconception in families that it is enough to safeguard the innocent within the home of the abuser. she should have never been in a house with him. both Mom and Grandma should have either removed Grandpa from the home or her from the home. it is apparent reading the book that whether they were able to sexually protect her or not, the verbal and physical abuse still have lifelong consequences.
It's not enough to say she was not "as abused" as her mother she shouldn't have been abused by someone who both mom and Grandma knew was dangerous.
Profile Image for Erin.
3,103 reviews382 followers
January 4, 2026
I really read this because I love to hate Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and there’s a lot of fuel here, but Amy has really been through it herself. Not only has Jim Bob been terrible to her and her mother (his sister) there’s so much abuse in her own family. Lots of Duggar damage from way back, plus Amy’s father. With all these skeletons in the closet why would these people ever go on TV?
Profile Image for Andrea.
253 reviews1 follower
November 6, 2025
I thought this book was insightful. However, my humble opinion is that she set out to write a book (any book) but didnt know what she wanted it to be about. It felt equal parts memoir, religious reflection and self help. Because of that, the book lacked focus - and not enough time spent in any one space.

That said, her writing is really well done and more evolved than I had expected. She delved into her time with her family, both her aunt and uncle, as well as her parents. And her complicated relationship with her grandparents. But we got little insight into HER! And I struggled with that.
Profile Image for Shelby Clay.
22 reviews
October 17, 2025
I was very pleasantly surprised by this book. Amy shared her own story and didn’t focus heavily on anyone else’s. The family she grew up in experienced betrayal and emotional abuse through manipulation, pornography, and secrecy. It’s awesome to read about how she married a wonderful man who will break the cycle. I loved this quote from the end of the book:

“Anyone who treats you abusively does not love you, plain and simple. Love is built on respect, kindness, and mutual care—not control, manipulation, or emotional blackmail. So when someone keeps violating your boundaries or makes you question reality through mind games, that’s not love; it’s control. And you absolutely have the right to walk away from that nonsense, even if it means cutting ties with people you thought would always be in your life. Because honestly, staying around just to keep the peace? Not worth losing your sanity over.”
Profile Image for Claire Skinner.
44 reviews
October 22, 2025
I was afraid Amy was going to use her Duggar name to get her own fame. However, she shared her own story about her childhood before delving into the Duggar scandals. I was heartbroken for her hurt but also thoroughly entertained with this book.
Profile Image for Allison Horrocks.
236 reviews50 followers
October 29, 2025
Amy Duggar King is an amazingly brave and resilient person and I’m glad she penned her memoir. When other people have had the chance to edit you for the masses for years, you’re more than owed a book contract. Amy never got paid for being on her family’s show — the only reason many things in this book didn’t shock me is because I’ve read two other Duggar memoirs.
Profile Image for Kevin.
241 reviews1 follower
November 6, 2025
As someone who grew up watching the Duggars, I've always had an interest for the familial habits that caused the family to act the way they did. Amy doesn't hold back as she unveils what happened in her family and behind the scenes of the show. Not only a powerful statement of breaking free from an abusive family but advice for others on how to do so. I was horrified about some of the stories. Her narration was lively and it was sad to hear her voice break in some of the passages as she spoke through tears. The chapter where she teared down the IBLM beliefs with passages from the bible that contradicted them, queen.
Profile Image for Emma Brown.
41 reviews1 follower
November 8, 2025
I really liked this book and could relate to it and I very much appreciate her standing up for what she knows to be right
123 reviews4 followers
October 16, 2025
3.5 stars. It was pretty interesting to hear her background, her parents tumultuous relationship, her lack of pay for her work on the family reality show, and how she reacted to the family scandal with her pedophile cousin. The amount of times she said “Holy Disruptor” made me think she’s going on a national tour to spread this hashtag at a series of women empowerment conferences. But otherwise, it’s a fast read and was pretty good. More telling about the Duggar family than Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s book by far.
Profile Image for Kenzie | kenzienoelle.reads.
780 reviews182 followers
October 21, 2025
I watched every episode of 19 Kids and Counting growing up, so of course I will read every book that continues to come out from this family😅

Honestly, I thought it book would be redundant with Jinger and Jill’s but boy was I wrong!! Amy’s revelations about Grandpa Duggar🤯 How she was used to further the show🤯 How she found evidence of what eventually put Josh in prison YEARS before it came out and she was gaslit and ignored?! Ohhhh I get so angry. Excuse my language but Amy really ripped Jim Bob a new one with this book.
Profile Image for Hailee Core.
95 reviews
January 7, 2026
I just need to preface this review with the fact that I don’t rate memoirs less than 3 stars just because it feels wrong rating someone’s life story a 1 star but anyways.

Amy is definitely a victim of abuse but I feel like she was piggy backing off of the trauma of her cousins. She really did not add much insight to the Duggar household besides what’s already known. She also is clearly trying to coin a term “holy disrupter” throughout but I really don’t see how any of her actions helped her cousins through the trauma they endured. It just felt like she was centering herself.

With that aside, I also think this was just a poorly written book. It oscillated from self help, to sermon, to memoir, to the random ending about motherhood and listing off signs of emotional abuse. It just felt like she was trying to reach a page count. I do think this could have been a tell all episode on a talk show and not a book.

Also, why did she casually drop that her grandpa was a predator after listing off a bunch of positive personality traits or why did she not utter a bad word about her grandma when she never intervened. I think we should equally and adequately condemn all the predators in this book. It felt like cherry picking to fit her narrative.
Profile Image for Danielle Crouse.
4 reviews1 follower
January 13, 2026
Honestly, this book was hard to read. It was heartbreaking to see how much pain the author endured from her grandfather and father, who walked in extreme self-indulgence, and her uncle, who elevated the man-made rules of IBLP over the salvation found in Christ. She provides some biblical analysis, but much of the action steps are man-centered, which makes the true hope for healing found in the gospel hard to see.
Profile Image for Amy Elrod.
93 reviews
January 9, 2026
I really enjoyed this heartfelt book. Amy was so honest and emotional talking about the hard times she has endured in her family. She stands up for what is right.
Profile Image for Annie Prasco.
34 reviews
January 7, 2026
A 3 day listen and wow does @JennaT know how to recommend books to me.
My text to her mid Chapter 5:
Cousin Amy was speaking directly to me. Confronting the trauma patterns and repeating themselves but we the power to fight against negativity and dysfunction. The cycle ends with me. Each person must bear the weight of their own decisions. Work to change the behaviors that have been past down. I’ve dug deep within myself to break these barriers. I want to encourage you to take a hard look at your own life. It’s time to be disruptive.
COUSIN AMY have you been watching my life from afar?? Words hit straight to my soul.
Profile Image for Catherine Racine.
53 reviews
October 31, 2025
As I finish this audiobook, I’m left with admiration for Amy Duggar King for her authenticity, her courage and her willingness to share even her most painful moments with such honesty and vulnerability.

Amy’s story is a sobering reminder of how “reality” TV can distort the truth. In telling her story, she pulls back the curtain on the Duggar family’s carefully crafted image, revealing the heartbreaking contrast between what the world saw and what was really happening behind closed doors. Her account makes it painfully clear that the empire Jim Bob Duggar built was driven not by faith or family values, but by control, greed and selfishness at great cost to those closest to him.
Profile Image for Debbie Slaughter.
Author 9 books8 followers
December 7, 2025
I've always liked Amy. She was the only normal one in the family and I'm glad she's finally telling her story. To say her family was dysfunctional is an understatement.
My take away from all of her stories is that the grandmother got a pass from Amy in this book. The grandmother, Deanna's mom, stood by and let her daughter get beaten to almost death by the grandfather Duggar, and yet Amy continues to call her a best friend. Even by Amy's own account, she called the grandmother "controlling" and she manipulated Amy, at best. But, like so many dysfunctional families, they continued to honor her. I don't get it.
I did appreciate the way she called out creepy Jim Bob for his greed and incessant need for fame. He was and still is a snake in the grass. I wish everyone who never got paid would sue him for their rightful paycheck. And then there's the entire cover up about Josh. What a sick family.

I'm glad Amy is telling her own story. It's good to know the other side of this fake family. I'm glad she's making her own way in the world and shedding some light on all that went on behind the scenes.
In my opinion, she could have been a bit more angry sounding in her stories. In other words, to me, there is still a bit of trying to be nice or not as angry as the rest of us would have been. There is still a sense of trying to expose truth, but with the cover of not wanting to offend. The truth does offend, though, doesn't it?
Overall, if you've followed this family for any amount of time, this is one to read. I guess I need to read Jill's book now.
Profile Image for Carey Case Rivard.
525 reviews4 followers
October 15, 2025
Well done! My heart breaks for the way she was treated but am so glad she found her strength
Profile Image for Lindsay.
5 reviews4 followers
November 13, 2025
I don't love leaving bad reviews on memoirs but this one was extremely immature and honestly insufferable.
Profile Image for Lauren.
44 reviews1 follower
November 2, 2025
i feel bad for her being in situations of abuse, but to call yourself a "holy disruptor" when you did absolutely nothing to help the other people being harmed is crazy. also why would i care about dylan's car accident he was drunk driving 120 mph on backroads and could have killed someone????? i also feel bad for the adults (mainly the women) that were domestically abused or abused by their parents but their complacency in their children's abuse is pathetic to me. i don't have any grace for people unwilling to do the work to break the cycle. the fact that amy still identifies as a "traditional woman" and is constantly preaching the teachings of jesus makes it clear that she missed the insidious nature of organized religion and its consequences of misogyny, abuse, and covering these up. there was also so little content in this book regarding the sexual abuse that it feels unimportant which seems inappropriate given the severity of the situation. this is also not well written, which seems odd because i would have expected a ghost writer. there are a bunch of info dumps followed by long winding passages about things that seem unimportant. very weird
Profile Image for Nolan Vogel.
44 reviews
October 14, 2025
2.5/5 Stars

Look. Amy has been through a lot. And when she was talking about her home life with her parents, meeting her husband or about Grandpa and Grandma Duggar, those were the best parts.

However, she throws a lot of claims at the Duggar family that feels like a “need proof shown”. Because it feels like she didn’t know how to handle fame and needed to be the 20th child because of her childhood. It felt like “oh I should talk mad shit about my cousin being sad our grandma died. I KNEW GRANDMA BETTER THAN YOU.” throughout the memoir.

While I believe everything in Jill Duggar’s novel, this I feel like “citations needed” a couple times.

If you are curious about this, read the first few chapter, skip the Duggar stuff and read the last three chapters.

Amy, I know you’re not reading this. I’m sorry the stuff you went through with your dad and grandpa, please seek therapy and get more healing if you can.
Profile Image for Deborah.
126 reviews2 followers
November 19, 2025
I enjoyed this one, though I could have done without the end where she gets a bit preachy. I remember her from the show, but I had no idea the horrors she was facing in her own life (in addition to what her cousin was doing). I normally like to listen to memoirs, especially when they're read by the author, but I thought she did a terrible job reading this, sometimes mispronouncing her own words. And I cringed every time she said "eXpecially". which she says a LOT.
Profile Image for Erin.
588 reviews49 followers
October 27, 2025
For the Duggar-curious among us, this is the book we hoped one of the kids would write. Just enough tea, addresses the NDA, lots of information. If you are into this reality TV drama, it's a good one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 307 reviews

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