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512 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 29, 2013
⊹ ࣪ ˖ “i could not live without lo. he is as much a part of me as the sun is a part of the sky, as the earth is to the universe. i need him in order to wake up in the morning. i need him to feel whole.”
⊹ ࣪ ˖ “she is my past, my present, my future. so when i open the door and slide into the driver’s seat, i’m not surprised that it feels like i’m returning home.”
⊹ ࣪ ˖ “because i think she loves you more than she loves sex. and you love her more than you love alcohol, but you two just haven’t let yourselves believe it yet.”
“Some battles are best fought with a sidekick.”
“I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here when you come home. There will always be an us.”Someone has told the world about Lily Calloway’s sex addiction. This destroys Lily. Lo is newly sober, but is determined to be there for Lily no matter what. He is her rock. She needs him to help with her addiction and to be there to love and support her, and he does 100%.
She shrunk into herself and waited for me to stare at her like she was gross and dirty. But I just wanted to hold her and tell her that she was worth so much more than whatever she was searching for.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here when you come home. There will always be an us.”
“A Lo and Lily,” I breathe.
“Or Lily and Lo.”
“In all our life, he has never once said to me, you are mine. He has never taken me the way I’ve taken him. He has given himself to me.”
“We have lived together, loved together, and fucked up together. I’m not sure many people can truly say that about someone else.”
“I think the six of us—we’re all strong. We’re each just a different kind of strong. But we all have a different kind of weak too.”
“I’m prepared to be there for her every fucking step of the way. Even if she wants to drown in this water, I’m going to pull her back up until she’s healthy. Until she can stand on her own two feet.”
“She is my past, my present, my future. So when I open the door and slide into the driver’s seat, I’m not surprised that it feels like I’m returning home.”
“i want lily. a house. the white picket fence kind of happiness. i didn’t ever think i deserved that, but maybe, one day, i can become the kind of person that does ⌂♡“
“I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here when you come home. There will always be an us. “A Lo and Lily,” I breathe. “Or Lily and Lo.”
“Hey, Lil…” His thumb skims my cheek. “You’re okay.” He must recognize the fear in my eyes. “I won’t ever desert you, love. Not for a goddamn moment. You’re mine to take care of, you understand?”
I think the six of us—we’re all strong. We’re each just a different kind of strong. But we all have a different kind of weak too. And I’m figuring out how to bottle my weakness to help them all.
”She is my past, my present, my future. So when I open the door and slide into the driver’s seat, I’m not surprised that it feels like I’m returning home.”
”I think the six of us—we’re all strong. We’re each just a different kind of strong. But we all have a different kind of weak too.”
"Whatever happens,we're in this together. You and me. Lily and Lo."
She is my past, my present, my future.
"I'm sick too," he says, " and there will be times where we're weak. Where we beg for the things we can't have. But you can't be scared of that, Lil. You just have to believe that you'll be strong enough in the end. Even if the middle is all fucked up."
"He is my breath. My soul. My life-force. I have spent forever with him. Being apart is the most unnatural feeling in the world."
"Lily doens't do hugs. She fucks until she passes out. And I so badly want to fix her, but I can only help her. The real mending-that has to be her job, her fight, her battle. I can't win this one for her - just like she can't defeat my demons."
"I won't ever desert you, love. Not for a goddamn moment. You're mine to take care of, you understand?"
"There will always be an us."
"A Lo and Lily."
"Or Lily and Lo."
“i depend on him more than any girl should depend on a boy, but he’s been the backbone of my life. without him, i will fall.”
“i deserve every cold look, every biting comment. i deserve that fucking pain.”
“and there will be roadblocks and setbacks,” he tells me, “just because you hit one doesn’t mean you let me down. if anything, i’m proud of you for handling it like this.”
“i let out a long breath, bearing her pain that feels so much a part of me. we’ve become entangled, years and years of lies and childhood memories and stories all wrapped into one. i know her better than her sisters. i know her sometimes better than she does herself.”
“my twenty-two-year-old brother is flirting, apparently not deliberately—i’m not even sure how that fucking happens—with your sixteen-year-old sister.”
connor raises his hands. “i didn’t say a word.” her eyes soften at him. “you’re exempt.”
she possesses him, but he’s equally as possessive of her.
“daisy had cash in her bikini top,” lo says. “ryke made some offhanded comment about it and it led to… other comments.”
"Ryke has Melissa pinned against the back of the seat. I can barely see her behind his broad shoulders. Sitting up, her legs wrap around his waist, and his body melds into hers. His hand disappears underneath her shirt, and his lips devour hers hungrily"
"I'm here," he says, a silent tear dripping down his cheek. "We're going to beat this together."
“Your addiction is much different, and there’s less support there... It’s just the way it is. I’m prepared for this. I won’t leave. I won’t ever fucking leave.”
"She wants to be with me, but my mere presence tempts her. I don't ever want to believe that being alone, being apart, is the solution.
It's not.
She needs me as much as I need her. We just have to find our footing in this relationship. And that takes time."
"She holds tight around my neck, and I keep my arms underneath her legs, willing to carry her as far as she needs to go - just like when we were kids. Some things never change."
"I dream that one day, I can hold Lily in my arms without any other influence begging me to drop her. I want to be enough for her to beat this thing."
He brushes off an escaped tear with his thumb. "You're sick… I'm sick too," he says, "and there will be times where we're weak. Where we beg for the things we can't have. But you can't be scared of that, Lil… You just have to believe that you'll be strong enough in the end. Even if the middle is all fucked up."
“She doesn’t have to say, I love you because ... The sentiment is attached to each and every word. She loves me because she believes I’m strong. She loves me because she’s a part of me... there will always be an us.”
After all we've been through. Years and years of mistakes, it feels like a dream to be here in this moment. Right now. Sober. Alive. With her.