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Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection
Rejection Proof is Jia Jiang's entertaining and inspiring account of conquering his fear of rejection, offering a completely new perspective on how to turn a no into a yes.
Jia Jiang came to the United States with the dream of being the next Bill Gates. Despite early success in the corporate world, his first attempt to pursue his entrepreneurial dream ended in rejection. Jia was crushed and spiraled into a period of deep self-doubt. But he realized that his fear of rejection was a bigger obstacle than any single rejection would ever be, and he needed to find a way to cope with being told no without letting it destroy him. Thus was born his "100 days of rejection" experiment, during which he willfully sought rejection on a daily basis - from requesting a lesson in sales from a car salesman (no) to asking a flight attendant if he could make an announcement on the loudspeaker (yes) to his famous request to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the shape of Olympic rings (yes, with a viral video to prove it).
Jia learned that even the most preposterous wish may be granted if you ask in the right way, and here he shares the secret of successful asking, how to pick targets, and how to tell when an initial no can be converted into something positive. But more important, he learned techniques for steeling himself against rejection and ways to develop his own confidence - a plan that can't be derailed by a single setback.
Filled with great stories and valuable insight, Rejection Proof is a fun and thoughtful examination of how to overcome fear and dare to live more boldly.
Jia Jiang came to the United States with the dream of being the next Bill Gates. Despite early success in the corporate world, his first attempt to pursue his entrepreneurial dream ended in rejection. Jia was crushed and spiraled into a period of deep self-doubt. But he realized that his fear of rejection was a bigger obstacle than any single rejection would ever be, and he needed to find a way to cope with being told no without letting it destroy him. Thus was born his "100 days of rejection" experiment, during which he willfully sought rejection on a daily basis - from requesting a lesson in sales from a car salesman (no) to asking a flight attendant if he could make an announcement on the loudspeaker (yes) to his famous request to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the shape of Olympic rings (yes, with a viral video to prove it).
Jia learned that even the most preposterous wish may be granted if you ask in the right way, and here he shares the secret of successful asking, how to pick targets, and how to tell when an initial no can be converted into something positive. But more important, he learned techniques for steeling himself against rejection and ways to develop his own confidence - a plan that can't be derailed by a single setback.
Filled with great stories and valuable insight, Rejection Proof is a fun and thoughtful examination of how to overcome fear and dare to live more boldly.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published April 14, 2015
873 people are currently reading
9913 people want to read
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July 7, 2015
real rejection is not what the author has experienced. the people chosen as examples have (Rowling, et al)
why? these people, through their work and emotional investment, put it all on the line. they had become perhaps, physiologically, physically invested in their goal. how does this compare to a request for oddly shaped donuts? (yes there is a 'black' Olympic ring not a white ring, thank you)
Could this book be a vainly disguised tool at company PR? One can't help notice the corporate name-dropping and plugs. These were beginning to appear manufactured for advertising purposes.
Meanwhile, one wonders, after this book, whether the author actually placed himself in the line of fire for real rejection. Did he indeed start his app to completion? or try launching another toy or product? This book with its inspiring premise, devolved into a series of predictable pranks.
why? these people, through their work and emotional investment, put it all on the line. they had become perhaps, physiologically, physically invested in their goal. how does this compare to a request for oddly shaped donuts? (yes there is a 'black' Olympic ring not a white ring, thank you)
Could this book be a vainly disguised tool at company PR? One can't help notice the corporate name-dropping and plugs. These were beginning to appear manufactured for advertising purposes.
Meanwhile, one wonders, after this book, whether the author actually placed himself in the line of fire for real rejection. Did he indeed start his app to completion? or try launching another toy or product? This book with its inspiring premise, devolved into a series of predictable pranks.
November 22, 2025
"Rejection is just an opinion. It reflects them more than me."
Jia Jiang provides wonderful advice on how to approach rejection and maximise every ounce of rejection's potential. Rejection can be utilised as feedback, a tool for learning, and inspiration to keep trying. It has the potential to instruct us and assist us in our development. It has the power to inspire, shape our personalities, and help us grow. It's a wonderful reminder that we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves if anything out of our control goes wrong.
The story follows an author who begins making outrageous requests in an attempt to get rejected. The rejection acts begin simple, such as asking a stranger for a $100 loan, and he makes it his mission to be denied in order to learn that some requests can be beneficial. You may receive a "no," but you may also receive a "yes" if you simply ask, even if the request appears ridiculous. You won't know unless you try or ask, as the adage goes.
One of the best books for personal as well as professional development. I highly recommend reading it!
You might like to wander through a few artistic journals — they’re full of sparks and surprises.
Jia Jiang provides wonderful advice on how to approach rejection and maximise every ounce of rejection's potential. Rejection can be utilised as feedback, a tool for learning, and inspiration to keep trying. It has the potential to instruct us and assist us in our development. It has the power to inspire, shape our personalities, and help us grow. It's a wonderful reminder that we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves if anything out of our control goes wrong.
The story follows an author who begins making outrageous requests in an attempt to get rejected. The rejection acts begin simple, such as asking a stranger for a $100 loan, and he makes it his mission to be denied in order to learn that some requests can be beneficial. You may receive a "no," but you may also receive a "yes" if you simply ask, even if the request appears ridiculous. You won't know unless you try or ask, as the adage goes.
One of the best books for personal as well as professional development. I highly recommend reading it!
You might like to wander through a few artistic journals — they’re full of sparks and surprises.
April 14, 2015
I don't consider myself a person who is particularly afraid of rejection. I never had a problem talking to women or cold calling people, but while reading this book I realized there are different levels of "fearlessness". While I don't mind cold calling, I am hesitant when it comes to pitching my story or speaking in front of people. In other words, we all can grow to become more fearless in different areas of our life.
Rejection Proof helped give me some practical ways to conquer some of that lingering fear of rejection while also entertaining me with Jia's incredible and inspiring story. I find myself constantly pulling lessons from the book when trying to push outside of my comfort zone. One particular instance that sticks out to me is Jia's experiences where people told him "yes". He had some of the most incredible life experiences and they never would have happened if he hadn't been brave enough to "just ask" for them.
Who is this book for?
This book is not only for people who struggle with rejection but for anyone who wants to reach a higher level of fearlessness in their lives. I see men and women in sales finding this book invaluable, as well as young college graduates looking for jobs out in the world. Rejection is something we all face in our lives, so this book gives introductory level knowledge as well as very advance knowledge on how to conquer your fear of rejection.
Specifically:
- People looking to conquer their fear of rejection
- Sales people
- Entrepreneurs working to build a company and grow
- Artists trying to overcome resistance when bringing their work into the world
- Someone who feels like they are missing out on life because they are afraid of what people might think of them
How was it written?
Jia tells stories. The book is outlined around his 100 days of rejection but really he uses the stories to illustrate amazing, life-changing lessons. I've seen this book put to work again and again in my life since reading it and would absolutely recommend it to anyone.
Other feedback: Jia's rejection attempts are meant to "demystify rejection" or "gamify rejection". Most of his rejection attempts are meant to be funny and not taken too seriously. The whole point is to receive a rejection (as you'll read in his book). That being said, in the "real world" it might be different when we receive rejections for something we truly want. In Jia's experience he was trying to get a "no", but in my life I want to receive a yes when I ask for a new job or a raise. With that being said, it doesn't take away from any of the principles you'll learn in this book or the incredible nature of Jia's story. The purpose of Rejection Proof is to break down what rejection truly is, why we're afraid of it, and how you can overcome that fear. All of these lessons are wrapped within Jia Jiang's story of 100 days of rejection.
Rejection Proof helped give me some practical ways to conquer some of that lingering fear of rejection while also entertaining me with Jia's incredible and inspiring story. I find myself constantly pulling lessons from the book when trying to push outside of my comfort zone. One particular instance that sticks out to me is Jia's experiences where people told him "yes". He had some of the most incredible life experiences and they never would have happened if he hadn't been brave enough to "just ask" for them.
Who is this book for?
This book is not only for people who struggle with rejection but for anyone who wants to reach a higher level of fearlessness in their lives. I see men and women in sales finding this book invaluable, as well as young college graduates looking for jobs out in the world. Rejection is something we all face in our lives, so this book gives introductory level knowledge as well as very advance knowledge on how to conquer your fear of rejection.
Specifically:
- People looking to conquer their fear of rejection
- Sales people
- Entrepreneurs working to build a company and grow
- Artists trying to overcome resistance when bringing their work into the world
- Someone who feels like they are missing out on life because they are afraid of what people might think of them
How was it written?
Jia tells stories. The book is outlined around his 100 days of rejection but really he uses the stories to illustrate amazing, life-changing lessons. I've seen this book put to work again and again in my life since reading it and would absolutely recommend it to anyone.
Other feedback: Jia's rejection attempts are meant to "demystify rejection" or "gamify rejection". Most of his rejection attempts are meant to be funny and not taken too seriously. The whole point is to receive a rejection (as you'll read in his book). That being said, in the "real world" it might be different when we receive rejections for something we truly want. In Jia's experience he was trying to get a "no", but in my life I want to receive a yes when I ask for a new job or a raise. With that being said, it doesn't take away from any of the principles you'll learn in this book or the incredible nature of Jia's story. The purpose of Rejection Proof is to break down what rejection truly is, why we're afraid of it, and how you can overcome that fear. All of these lessons are wrapped within Jia Jiang's story of 100 days of rejection.
December 30, 2016
Rejection Proof is not a long book, but it left me with the feeling that it would have been better as a more concise feature in a magazine or blog. I was attracted to the book by the title and premise: author Jia Jiang's journey through seeking rejection every day for 100 days. It sounded like a quest that could turn up some revelations, or, at the very least, some entertaining stories--and indeed, there are some helpful perspectives and amusing anecdotes--but ultimately, they are stretched thin and lacking impact.
Jiang traces his interaction with rejection to his childhood and first experiences traveling to the United States as a Chinese exchange student. Really, his personal story is impressive, and I imagine it could be a book on its own. But the genesis for his 100 Days of Rejection project comes when he is dissatisfied in his job at an unnamed Fortune 500 company, and quits his job to explore more entrepreneurial opportunities. He starts making "rejection attempts"-- unusual requests likely to be met with a "no"--to boost his confidence and learn the hows and whys of rejection.
It's a great concept, and I'm not surprised Jiang's blog and book have been successful. The execution, however, leaves much to be desired. The writing is clunky and often overly-simple, and the stories Jiang spends the most time on aren't necessarily the most interesting. Also, it's hard to shake the feeling that he's a bit of a corporate shill. One of the best rejection attempts in the book (and the one that gave the blog its initial traction) does showcase a major company: a request for Krispy Kreme donuts in the form of Olympic rings. But its unexpected "yes," comes off as triumphantly human because if how it highlights the actions of someone exceeding expectations in an unrewarding job. Contrast this with Jiang's request to be a greeter at a Starbucks (he gets a yes, and stands out front saying "we have the best coffee in the world!"), to make an announcement over the PA at Costco, or, in the final rejection attempt, to land his wife a corporate job at Google (how...romantic?).
The lessons the author learns about rejection are valuable, but I wish the book could have been a more worthwhile read. The first few chapters and the appendix collecting main points on rejection are worth reading, but overall, the piece falls flat.
Jiang traces his interaction with rejection to his childhood and first experiences traveling to the United States as a Chinese exchange student. Really, his personal story is impressive, and I imagine it could be a book on its own. But the genesis for his 100 Days of Rejection project comes when he is dissatisfied in his job at an unnamed Fortune 500 company, and quits his job to explore more entrepreneurial opportunities. He starts making "rejection attempts"-- unusual requests likely to be met with a "no"--to boost his confidence and learn the hows and whys of rejection.
It's a great concept, and I'm not surprised Jiang's blog and book have been successful. The execution, however, leaves much to be desired. The writing is clunky and often overly-simple, and the stories Jiang spends the most time on aren't necessarily the most interesting. Also, it's hard to shake the feeling that he's a bit of a corporate shill. One of the best rejection attempts in the book (and the one that gave the blog its initial traction) does showcase a major company: a request for Krispy Kreme donuts in the form of Olympic rings. But its unexpected "yes," comes off as triumphantly human because if how it highlights the actions of someone exceeding expectations in an unrewarding job. Contrast this with Jiang's request to be a greeter at a Starbucks (he gets a yes, and stands out front saying "we have the best coffee in the world!"), to make an announcement over the PA at Costco, or, in the final rejection attempt, to land his wife a corporate job at Google (how...romantic?).
The lessons the author learns about rejection are valuable, but I wish the book could have been a more worthwhile read. The first few chapters and the appendix collecting main points on rejection are worth reading, but overall, the piece falls flat.
April 6, 2018
Jia Jiang writes a very compelling narrative of why we should continually seek rejection in order to break free from the anxiety holding us back. A must-read for anyone that wants to go somewhere or do something with their lives.
It was difficult to put the book down for even a moment.
It was difficult to put the book down for even a moment.
November 17, 2017
Chapter 1
• we exaggerate fear and the results
Chapter 2
• Fear disabled us.
• Description:
o doubting
o angry with self
o sorry for others
o getting scared
o insecurity
• Solution: be self-aware, reflect on what happened, and be intentional in planning the next move.
o Have fun
o projecting confidence and stay calm
o took breath
o force to establish eye contact, and dove in
• outcome:
o don't take it personally -- feel confident and relaxed. and have fun
• realization:
o piquing the other person's interest with the way you made the request, you might have a higher probability of getting a yes
o communication style is very important
• confident, friendly, open
Chapter 3 - fame
• N/A
Chapter 4 - Battling Evolution
• Rejection is harder to stomach than failure, because it is more personal. However, it is not.
o Usually after rejection, people either feel bad about themselves or reject other people (revenge)
o Revenge actually made us feel worse afterwards
• Rejection has evolutionary root for survival. But, it is now obsolete. However, it still causes real physical pain
• Laughter is a pain killer, also with evolutionary root.
• "I dream things that never were, and ask why not" -- Robert Kenney
Chapter 5 - Rethinking Rejection
• when you are not afraid of rejection and it feels like you have nothing to lose, amazing things can happen
• What kind of people to ask for?
o welcoming spirit
o sense of humor
o inquisitive about people's intentions and not to dismiss their requests
o a smile and a positive attitude is more important than the look
o never say no to a customer's request without first trying to find a solution
• Rejection is human: People react to the same request very differently, and it said nothing about me, but more about them
• Rejection is an opinion, influenced by
o social pressures to behave in a certain way (cultural factors, historical context, psychological factors)
• Rejection has a number - try many
Chapter 6 - Taking a no
• Stick around, and ask why: to find out the reason, to get a referrral
• Retreat, don't run: retreat, reassess, and try a new approach. adjust your request from a different angle and a lesser reqeust
o "if you can't do this, can you do something else?"
o Ask for recommendations for other positions based on your qualifications
• Collaborate, don't contend
o us vs. them problem, not you vs. me
o view them as collaborators
o Asking questions about the problems at hand, turn the other person into a collaborator
o Argue with the person always lose
o Make it clear that he had the freedom to say no
• Switch up, don't give up
o try a different person
o try a different environment
o under a different circumstance
o step back, reevaluate your talents and dreams, and conditions and the environment
=> ask why more
=> Do research and evaluate the conditions and environment. Prepare the answers for the no-s
Chapter 7 - Positioning for Yes
• Give why - explain intention
• Start with "I" - sounds more genuine than "them" or "you" without really knowing them
• Acknowledge doubts - adds trust and comfort and ease,
o In most cases, other people's doubts do not disappear by themselves. Instead, they can linger and are more likely to become the very reason for a rejection if you don't take control of them
o Honest campaign
o Bringing people's doubt out in the open can be a powerful way to gain their attention, their trust, and often even their acceptance
o By being "real" and acknowledge the skepticism that other people might fee
• Select target audience
o prepare + add credibility
=> how can I explain the intention better?
=> What doubts to address?
Chapter 8 - Giving a no
• no with patience and respect - smile
• be direct: it will always be a bad message. don't do big setup and reasoning before. you can give reasons afterwards
o don't do "yes...but" and "unfortunately"
• offer alternative: show that you are rejecting the request, not the person.
Chapter 9 - Finding upside
• Motivation: convert rejection into a motivation fuel.
o "from a very early age, I felt like I wasn't like everybody else. I didn't even want to be like everybody else. I wanted to find my own path". I resonated with this line so much
• Self-improvement: use rejection as a tool to learn, adapt, and improve
o sign should not be too vague - more specific, and more credible
o don't confuse people in your message
• Worthiness: sometimes it is good to be rejected, especially if public opinion is heavily influenced by group and conventional thinking.
• Character building: seeking rejection in tough environments can build up the mental toughness to take on greater goals
o You just need to focus on those audience who listen to you, not the ones that ignore you
o comparison always make you feel bad
o try self-confirmation
Chapter 10 - Finding meaning
• Facing rejection is about being willing to endure rejection because there is a profound reason for doing so
• Finding empathy: understand others better
o happy, calm energy is infectious
o happiness and meaning can fight against the difficult rejection
o empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection - reflection: do I sympathize with people more or empathize with them?
• Finding value - This is fantastic!
o when you don't know how much you want and value something, rejection can become almost a measuring stick
o "am I still interested in trying again?"
o "is your dream bigger than your rejection?"
• Finding mission: the most brutal rejections in life signal a new beginning and mission for the rejecter
Chapter 11 - Finding Freedom
• Freedom to ask:
o without asking, you never know what opportunity is out there
• Freedom to accept yourself:
o Any historical baggage?
o Approval seeking?
Chapter 12 - Finding power
• Attitude: Be confident: stood up straight, maintained eye contact, gave a big smile - friendly, relaxed, and not pushy
• Tactic: make intention clear
• Mentality: Conquer fear, start having fun, then everything, including using sales techniques, would become much easier
• Detachment from Results:
o solely “results oriented" is more than shortsighted
o it leaves you unprepared to get fedback that might help you along your way
o Give full focus to what I could control
• making eye contact
• asking why
• listening
• not running after a no
o UCLA's legendary basketball coach John Wooden use effort based not results based measurement of success
• have you prepared thoroughly?
• play the best game?
o to play my best, and not worry about the results - even when the stakes seem impossibly high
• Tracy's google job search:
o focus on the effort - quitting job
o set a time - 6 months
o decide what can control:
• networking
• improving resume
• applying for jobs
• preparing for interview
o what cannot control:
• getting an answer from a networking request
• securing an interview
• having people like her
• getting a job offer
o relentlessly focus on her controllable tasks
o always very upfront with her intention
o 100% authentic to who she was
o Iteration: use each rejection as feedback for learning
• celebrate rejections
o alas! - miracles can happen
Summary: List of learning:
1. Rejection is human, opinion (more of the rejector than the rejectee), a number
2. Ask "why" before good-bye
3. Retreat - don't run: try different pitch, quantitative --I need to do this artfully
4. Collaborate, don't contend
5. Switch up, don't give up
6. Motivation
7. Self-improvement
8. Worthiness
9. Character building - use it to strengthen not weaken myself mentally
• we exaggerate fear and the results
Chapter 2
• Fear disabled us.
• Description:
o doubting
o angry with self
o sorry for others
o getting scared
o insecurity
• Solution: be self-aware, reflect on what happened, and be intentional in planning the next move.
o Have fun
o projecting confidence and stay calm
o took breath
o force to establish eye contact, and dove in
• outcome:
o don't take it personally -- feel confident and relaxed. and have fun
• realization:
o piquing the other person's interest with the way you made the request, you might have a higher probability of getting a yes
o communication style is very important
• confident, friendly, open
Chapter 3 - fame
• N/A
Chapter 4 - Battling Evolution
• Rejection is harder to stomach than failure, because it is more personal. However, it is not.
o Usually after rejection, people either feel bad about themselves or reject other people (revenge)
o Revenge actually made us feel worse afterwards
• Rejection has evolutionary root for survival. But, it is now obsolete. However, it still causes real physical pain
• Laughter is a pain killer, also with evolutionary root.
• "I dream things that never were, and ask why not" -- Robert Kenney
Chapter 5 - Rethinking Rejection
• when you are not afraid of rejection and it feels like you have nothing to lose, amazing things can happen
• What kind of people to ask for?
o welcoming spirit
o sense of humor
o inquisitive about people's intentions and not to dismiss their requests
o a smile and a positive attitude is more important than the look
o never say no to a customer's request without first trying to find a solution
• Rejection is human: People react to the same request very differently, and it said nothing about me, but more about them
• Rejection is an opinion, influenced by
o social pressures to behave in a certain way (cultural factors, historical context, psychological factors)
• Rejection has a number - try many
Chapter 6 - Taking a no
• Stick around, and ask why: to find out the reason, to get a referrral
• Retreat, don't run: retreat, reassess, and try a new approach. adjust your request from a different angle and a lesser reqeust
o "if you can't do this, can you do something else?"
o Ask for recommendations for other positions based on your qualifications
• Collaborate, don't contend
o us vs. them problem, not you vs. me
o view them as collaborators
o Asking questions about the problems at hand, turn the other person into a collaborator
o Argue with the person always lose
o Make it clear that he had the freedom to say no
• Switch up, don't give up
o try a different person
o try a different environment
o under a different circumstance
o step back, reevaluate your talents and dreams, and conditions and the environment
=> ask why more
=> Do research and evaluate the conditions and environment. Prepare the answers for the no-s
Chapter 7 - Positioning for Yes
• Give why - explain intention
• Start with "I" - sounds more genuine than "them" or "you" without really knowing them
• Acknowledge doubts - adds trust and comfort and ease,
o In most cases, other people's doubts do not disappear by themselves. Instead, they can linger and are more likely to become the very reason for a rejection if you don't take control of them
o Honest campaign
o Bringing people's doubt out in the open can be a powerful way to gain their attention, their trust, and often even their acceptance
o By being "real" and acknowledge the skepticism that other people might fee
• Select target audience
o prepare + add credibility
=> how can I explain the intention better?
=> What doubts to address?
Chapter 8 - Giving a no
• no with patience and respect - smile
• be direct: it will always be a bad message. don't do big setup and reasoning before. you can give reasons afterwards
o don't do "yes...but" and "unfortunately"
• offer alternative: show that you are rejecting the request, not the person.
Chapter 9 - Finding upside
• Motivation: convert rejection into a motivation fuel.
o "from a very early age, I felt like I wasn't like everybody else. I didn't even want to be like everybody else. I wanted to find my own path". I resonated with this line so much
• Self-improvement: use rejection as a tool to learn, adapt, and improve
o sign should not be too vague - more specific, and more credible
o don't confuse people in your message
• Worthiness: sometimes it is good to be rejected, especially if public opinion is heavily influenced by group and conventional thinking.
• Character building: seeking rejection in tough environments can build up the mental toughness to take on greater goals
o You just need to focus on those audience who listen to you, not the ones that ignore you
o comparison always make you feel bad
o try self-confirmation
Chapter 10 - Finding meaning
• Facing rejection is about being willing to endure rejection because there is a profound reason for doing so
• Finding empathy: understand others better
o happy, calm energy is infectious
o happiness and meaning can fight against the difficult rejection
o empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection - reflection: do I sympathize with people more or empathize with them?
• Finding value - This is fantastic!
o when you don't know how much you want and value something, rejection can become almost a measuring stick
o "am I still interested in trying again?"
o "is your dream bigger than your rejection?"
• Finding mission: the most brutal rejections in life signal a new beginning and mission for the rejecter
Chapter 11 - Finding Freedom
• Freedom to ask:
o without asking, you never know what opportunity is out there
• Freedom to accept yourself:
o Any historical baggage?
o Approval seeking?
Chapter 12 - Finding power
• Attitude: Be confident: stood up straight, maintained eye contact, gave a big smile - friendly, relaxed, and not pushy
• Tactic: make intention clear
• Mentality: Conquer fear, start having fun, then everything, including using sales techniques, would become much easier
• Detachment from Results:
o solely “results oriented" is more than shortsighted
o it leaves you unprepared to get fedback that might help you along your way
o Give full focus to what I could control
• making eye contact
• asking why
• listening
• not running after a no
o UCLA's legendary basketball coach John Wooden use effort based not results based measurement of success
• have you prepared thoroughly?
• play the best game?
o to play my best, and not worry about the results - even when the stakes seem impossibly high
• Tracy's google job search:
o focus on the effort - quitting job
o set a time - 6 months
o decide what can control:
• networking
• improving resume
• applying for jobs
• preparing for interview
o what cannot control:
• getting an answer from a networking request
• securing an interview
• having people like her
• getting a job offer
o relentlessly focus on her controllable tasks
o always very upfront with her intention
o 100% authentic to who she was
o Iteration: use each rejection as feedback for learning
• celebrate rejections
o alas! - miracles can happen
Summary: List of learning:
1. Rejection is human, opinion (more of the rejector than the rejectee), a number
2. Ask "why" before good-bye
3. Retreat - don't run: try different pitch, quantitative --I need to do this artfully
4. Collaborate, don't contend
5. Switch up, don't give up
6. Motivation
7. Self-improvement
8. Worthiness
9. Character building - use it to strengthen not weaken myself mentally
June 14, 2017
This book tells the story of the author's life experiences and why he was so afraid of rejection. It also details his "100 Days of Rejection" adventure, which he video-taped on his phone. The problem I have with his program is that on Day 3, he videotaped an interaction at a Krispy Kreme where he asked for donuts shaped into Olympic rings and received instead of a rejection, an acceptance of his request.
If people are being videotaped and they know it, especially at a store, it influences the outcome. So I don't think the rejection test is realistic. After all, when regular people go on job interviews, etc., they aren't videotaping the experience and then posting it on their blogs. So I don't think this book is very applicable for tips on overcoming rejection.
The second problem I have with the book is that once the Krispy Kreme story went viral, the Krispy Kreme employee became celebrated, famous, and vastly praised, and the author appeared on TV on many, many shows, this made him famous and hence, he was recognizable to in future rejection situations, i.e. appearing in his videos might make some more people famous. So after Day 3, the "rejection therapy" didn't seem realistic to me, it was all possibly influenced by the Krispy Kreme experience and the video-taping aspect.
If you are extremely afraid of rejection and want to read about one man's experience, you might enjoy this book. I didn't find any value in it for myself, unfortunately.
If people are being videotaped and they know it, especially at a store, it influences the outcome. So I don't think the rejection test is realistic. After all, when regular people go on job interviews, etc., they aren't videotaping the experience and then posting it on their blogs. So I don't think this book is very applicable for tips on overcoming rejection.
The second problem I have with the book is that once the Krispy Kreme story went viral, the Krispy Kreme employee became celebrated, famous, and vastly praised, and the author appeared on TV on many, many shows, this made him famous and hence, he was recognizable to in future rejection situations, i.e. appearing in his videos might make some more people famous. So after Day 3, the "rejection therapy" didn't seem realistic to me, it was all possibly influenced by the Krispy Kreme experience and the video-taping aspect.
If you are extremely afraid of rejection and want to read about one man's experience, you might enjoy this book. I didn't find any value in it for myself, unfortunately.
July 22, 2016
This was a delightfully written short book on overcoming the fear of rejection, told as the author's own story rather than as a series of self-help tips. I found this an effective model for....modeling the idea.
I hope it will help me be brave when my book gets a bad review too. :)
I hope it will help me be brave when my book gets a bad review too. :)
October 1, 2016
The author spends his time completing small tasks where he could be rejected. But, as he blogs about his rejection attempts, his internet fame grows and it becomes harder and harder for him to be rejected. Or, he starts asking in ways that make it harder for him to get rejected.
In short, I don't think it is an accurate depiction of what people normally go through. Perhaps what would be more useful is how to ask for a raise in a way that you would be rejection proof. Or how to ask someone that you have a crush on how to go on a date together.
I think the examples he uses are not really helpful.
The end of the book is sweet. It is a job related example, but I'm not convinced that it was really him that helped. I was under the impression that it was the person that he was helping that really won out the job position in the end based on her own merits and not really through his help or guidance.
In short, I don't think it is an accurate depiction of what people normally go through. Perhaps what would be more useful is how to ask for a raise in a way that you would be rejection proof. Or how to ask someone that you have a crush on how to go on a date together.
I think the examples he uses are not really helpful.
The end of the book is sweet. It is a job related example, but I'm not convinced that it was really him that helped. I was under the impression that it was the person that he was helping that really won out the job position in the end based on her own merits and not really through his help or guidance.
December 17, 2015
I generally don't read self-help books, but the premise was interesting. A guy goes out and tries to face 100 rejections! I thought it would read like a story or a journey/diary style too. It starts out like that but later on it becomes more of a self help book because conclusions are drawn with factual instances stated too that parallel the conclusions. I didn't rate it higher though it probably deserves more stars. I mostly read for entertainment value so that's what the 3 stars is, my own opinion on how it entertained me. Now that I think of it, the book has influenced me in that I actually am writing my first book review. I am not afraid of rejection? Maybe I'll come back later and update my rating and review!
August 18, 2023
After I heard Jiang speak at a conference, I knew I wanted to read his book. It did not disappoint! He had me alternately laughing and pondering deeply at his rejection experiments that took him from fearful to confident. The burger refill story (you have to read it) and so many others kept a book that could've been heavy light and fun, yet impactful. I've found myself living more boldly as a result.
December 26, 2020
If anyone face rejection after rejection, multiple failures and completely lose the hope of success, then he/she must read this book. One of the best book on how to face the rejection and failure. The book is written based on the author Jia Jiang's 100 Days of Rejection experience. Initially he was fear to face rejection, then he slowly ready to face it, then accept the rejection, then overcame the Rejection and finally converting NO to YES by changing attitude, person and ticking all the controllable things by us.
April 8, 2018
كتاب يتحدث عن الرفض وعن كيفية التعامل معه، يسرد الكاتب رحلته مع 100 يوم من الرفض، حيث يقوم بأشياء / يتقدّم بطلبات يُفترض بها أن تُرفض في أغلب الحالات ويُحاول أن يفهم سبب رفضها (لماذا رُفِض طلبي) ويستخرج منها دروسًا للمُحاولات القادمة.
الكتاب ليس مُجرّد "كتاب تنمية بشرية" آخر، رغم أن العنوان (وحتى بعض الأجزاء منه) توحي بذلك. هدف الكتاب بشكل أساسي هو تحليل الرفض لتسهيل التعامل معه بغية الوصول إلى القبول لاحقًا، حيث أن الرفض ما هو سوى "أمر روتيني" يجب أن يُفهم بشكل جيّد ليسهل التّعامل معه.
من بين الأمور التي جربها الكاتب بهدف الحصول على الرفض (نعم، كان يتقدّم بطلبات احتمال رفضها وارد أو مُرتفع أولا مجال لقبولها، وكان يقوم بذلك عن قصد) هو مُحاولته للحصول على وظيفة ليوم واحد، طرقه على باب أحد الغرباء وعرضه لفكرة غرس زهرة في حديقته الخلفية، طلبه من صاحب طائرة صغيرة أن يقوم بقيادتها رغم أنه لا يُحسن قيادة الطائرات، والأهم من كل هذا (ما ختم به كتابه) هو مُساعدته لزوجته في الحصول على وظيفة لدى جوجل.
-بعض أفكار الكتاب الأساسية:
- الرفض ليس سوى رأي الرافض ولا يُعبر عن حقيقة مُطلقة (حول المرفوض طلبه). بعبارة أخرى إن تقدّمت إلى وظيفة (أو إلى خِطبة فتاة أو ما شابه) وقوُبِلت بالرفض فهذا لا يعني بأن هناك خللًا في المرفوض (فيك) أو في الطلب بحد ذاته وإنما يُعبر هذا الرفض عن رأي الرافض فقط. بعبارة أخرى التقدم إلى وظيفة أخرى مُشابهة (في شركة أخرى وبنفس سيرتك الذاتية وبنفس كفاءاتك) أو إلى خِطبة فتاة أخرى (أنت نفس الشخص في كلتا الحالتين) قد يُكلّل بالنّجاح. النظر إلى الرفض من هذه الزاوية يغيّر طريقة تفاعلنا مع الرفض بشكل عام (إلى الأحسن).
- أي طلب مرفوض لا يجب أن يتوقف عند الرفض (لا يُقصد بذلك الإلحاح) فيجب أن تستفسر عن سبب الرفض فلربما ستحصل على معلومات ستجعلك تحصل على القبول في المرة القادمة. فعلى سبيل المثال لما طلب من أحدهم أن يغرس زهرة في حديقته الخلفية، وبعد الاستفسار أشار صاحب هذا البيت إلى جارته التي قد ترغب في قبول مثل هذا الطلب.
- ضرورة تقديم الطلب بشكل يُساعد على قبوله. إن كنت تتقدم بطلب سيعود بالنفع عليه لكن لن يعود بالضرورة بالنفع على من تطلب منه الأمر فمن الأولى أن لا تُحاول تقديم الطلب على أنه سيقدم له الفائدة (كن صادقًا)، كما يُفضّل دائمًا إرفاق طلبك بالسبب الذي يدفعك إلى طلبه، ويستشهد الكتاب بدراسة أُجريت في جامعة هارفرد سنة 1978 والتي خلصت إلى نتيجة أن إرفاق العّلة بالطلب (أريد كذا من أجل كذا، أو أريد كذا لأن كذا) سيزيد من احتمال قبول الطلب حتى ولو كانت تلك الحجة واهية أو لا تمتّ للطلب بأيّة صلة.
- يشير الكاتب أن لكل رفض حد/عدد مُعيّن لو تجاوزته قد تحصل على قبول بعدها، لا أحب هذه الفكرة كثيرًا لأن الإلحاح بشكل متواصل قد لا يكون بالضرورة خُلقًا حسنا في الكثير من الحالات، إلا أنه قد يكون فعّالًا في الكثير من الحالات.
- لا تُجادل المطلوب منه (من تطلب منه حاجتك) لكن حاول أن تتعاون معه (وأن تُقرّ بشرعية شكوكه حول طلبك) لكي تحصل على مُبتغاك.
- إن قوبل طلبك بالرفض فقد ترغب في أن تُغيّر طلبك جزئيًا بحيث يُمكن لطلبك أن يُلبّى.
الكتاب أيضًا يتحدّث عن الطرف الآخر من مُعادلة الرفض هذه، حيث يشرح الكاتب كيفية رفض طلبات تصلك لا ترغب/لا تستطيع تنفيذها، ويشرح كيفية تقديم رفضك بشكل يُقدّم فائدة لصاحب الطلب المرفوض.
الكتاب خفيف ومُمتع بشكل عام، رغم أن بعض الأجزاء فيه تبدو مُصطنعة، لكنه سيُغيّر نظرتك للرفض بشكل عام (نحو الأفضل).
الكتاب ليس مُجرّد "كتاب تنمية بشرية" آخر، رغم أن العنوان (وحتى بعض الأجزاء منه) توحي بذلك. هدف الكتاب بشكل أساسي هو تحليل الرفض لتسهيل التعامل معه بغية الوصول إلى القبول لاحقًا، حيث أن الرفض ما هو سوى "أمر روتيني" يجب أن يُفهم بشكل جيّد ليسهل التّعامل معه.
من بين الأمور التي جربها الكاتب بهدف الحصول على الرفض (نعم، كان يتقدّم بطلبات احتمال رفضها وارد أو مُرتفع أولا مجال لقبولها، وكان يقوم بذلك عن قصد) هو مُحاولته للحصول على وظيفة ليوم واحد، طرقه على باب أحد الغرباء وعرضه لفكرة غرس زهرة في حديقته الخلفية، طلبه من صاحب طائرة صغيرة أن يقوم بقيادتها رغم أنه لا يُحسن قيادة الطائرات، والأهم من كل هذا (ما ختم به كتابه) هو مُساعدته لزوجته في الحصول على وظيفة لدى جوجل.
-بعض أفكار الكتاب الأساسية:
- الرفض ليس سوى رأي الرافض ولا يُعبر عن حقيقة مُطلقة (حول المرفوض طلبه). بعبارة أخرى إن تقدّمت إلى وظيفة (أو إلى خِطبة فتاة أو ما شابه) وقوُبِلت بالرفض فهذا لا يعني بأن هناك خللًا في المرفوض (فيك) أو في الطلب بحد ذاته وإنما يُعبر هذا الرفض عن رأي الرافض فقط. بعبارة أخرى التقدم إلى وظيفة أخرى مُشابهة (في شركة أخرى وبنفس سيرتك الذاتية وبنفس كفاءاتك) أو إلى خِطبة فتاة أخرى (أنت نفس الشخص في كلتا الحالتين) قد يُكلّل بالنّجاح. النظر إلى الرفض من هذه الزاوية يغيّر طريقة تفاعلنا مع الرفض بشكل عام (إلى الأحسن).
- أي طلب مرفوض لا يجب أن يتوقف عند الرفض (لا يُقصد بذلك الإلحاح) فيجب أن تستفسر عن سبب الرفض فلربما ستحصل على معلومات ستجعلك تحصل على القبول في المرة القادمة. فعلى سبيل المثال لما طلب من أحدهم أن يغرس زهرة في حديقته الخلفية، وبعد الاستفسار أشار صاحب هذا البيت إلى جارته التي قد ترغب في قبول مثل هذا الطلب.
- ضرورة تقديم الطلب بشكل يُساعد على قبوله. إن كنت تتقدم بطلب سيعود بالنفع عليه لكن لن يعود بالضرورة بالنفع على من تطلب منه الأمر فمن الأولى أن لا تُحاول تقديم الطلب على أنه سيقدم له الفائدة (كن صادقًا)، كما يُفضّل دائمًا إرفاق طلبك بالسبب الذي يدفعك إلى طلبه، ويستشهد الكتاب بدراسة أُجريت في جامعة هارفرد سنة 1978 والتي خلصت إلى نتيجة أن إرفاق العّلة بالطلب (أريد كذا من أجل كذا، أو أريد كذا لأن كذا) سيزيد من احتمال قبول الطلب حتى ولو كانت تلك الحجة واهية أو لا تمتّ للطلب بأيّة صلة.
- يشير الكاتب أن لكل رفض حد/عدد مُعيّن لو تجاوزته قد تحصل على قبول بعدها، لا أحب هذه الفكرة كثيرًا لأن الإلحاح بشكل متواصل قد لا يكون بالضرورة خُلقًا حسنا في الكثير من الحالات، إلا أنه قد يكون فعّالًا في الكثير من الحالات.
- لا تُجادل المطلوب منه (من تطلب منه حاجتك) لكن حاول أن تتعاون معه (وأن تُقرّ بشرعية شكوكه حول طلبك) لكي تحصل على مُبتغاك.
- إن قوبل طلبك بالرفض فقد ترغب في أن تُغيّر طلبك جزئيًا بحيث يُمكن لطلبك أن يُلبّى.
الكتاب أيضًا يتحدّث عن الطرف الآخر من مُعادلة الرفض هذه، حيث يشرح الكاتب كيفية رفض طلبات تصلك لا ترغب/لا تستطيع تنفيذها، ويشرح كيفية تقديم رفضك بشكل يُقدّم فائدة لصاحب الطلب المرفوض.
الكتاب خفيف ومُمتع بشكل عام، رغم أن بعض الأجزاء فيه تبدو مُصطنعة، لكنه سيُغيّر نظرتك للرفض بشكل عام (نحو الأفضل).
February 11, 2016
I wish I'd read this book as a 15 year old (though it didn't exist then). Jai brings to light the pernicious problem most of us deal with: being rejected. In his humorous and insightful story, Jai shares how he decided to chase his dreams by conquering rejection. What I loved about this book is just the honesty and real desire Jai had in sharing his insights with others. I definitely want to purchase this, but for now I will have to settle for these points:
1) Rethink Rejection. Being rejected is part of being human, and rejections are not actual rejections of you as a person, but are opinions about the thing you are requesting.
2) Taking "No" by asking "why" before "goodbye", retreat rather than run, collaborate don't contend ("lets figure this out"), switch up the context or the person you are requesting before you give up.
3) Positioning for Yes by asking "why", start with I, acknowledge potential doubts, and target audience
4) Find empathy, value, meaning, and freedom in rejection by learning from it.
Awesome book! If you are short on time, just read the appendix and try some of the points out yourself.
1) Rethink Rejection. Being rejected is part of being human, and rejections are not actual rejections of you as a person, but are opinions about the thing you are requesting.
2) Taking "No" by asking "why" before "goodbye", retreat rather than run, collaborate don't contend ("lets figure this out"), switch up the context or the person you are requesting before you give up.
3) Positioning for Yes by asking "why", start with I, acknowledge potential doubts, and target audience
4) Find empathy, value, meaning, and freedom in rejection by learning from it.
Awesome book! If you are short on time, just read the appendix and try some of the points out yourself.
August 12, 2017
Great book overall! I enjoyed reading about the author's brave attempts to experience and learn from rejection. I like how he makes those lessons clear throughout the book. I learned that there are so many possibilities out there...all we have to do is ask and we will never know what we will/won't get unless we do so! Even a no can lead to an unimaginable yes!
The book is highly focused on the author and doesn't relate his experience to a potential experience that a reader would have. That's one thing that I wish the book had a little more of.
The book is highly focused on the author and doesn't relate his experience to a potential experience that a reader would have. That's one thing that I wish the book had a little more of.
February 7, 2017
Une de mes révélations de 2016. Ça m'a permis de voir que le rejet n'est peut-être que le début d'une nouvelle aventure. Et le fait qu'on puisse voir les capsules vidéo de l'auteur à mesure qu'on avance dans le livre ajoute grandement à l'expérience. Chaudement recommandé.
July 20, 2020
Handling rejection is one of the biggest challenges each of us faces. Many of us will hide and ignore their true wishes for fear of facing rejection's pain. It's almost as if the other person has the power to crush us, and we avoid being vulnerable for that very reason.
Jia Jiang is a writer who gained fame and fortune for his pursuit of rejection as a way of diminishing its power over him. This book is a documentation of his 100 days of asking for things, most of them silly and likely to be rejected. He has a website, Rejection Therapy, a TED talk, a viral video, and this bestselling book, so somehow he figured out a way to get people to say "yes" to him.
As a writer, I'm very used to being rejected, though usually it is an anonymous rejection when your letters and emails don't get responded to. The few rejections I get are rarely informative, so this book showed an interesting perspective.
While I enjoyed the book, I had several problems with it. Most of the requests were off-the-wall, and a rejection would be less harmful because there's little Jiang would lose besides a bit of time and/or embarrassment. He tried to hand apples of $5 bills to random strangers. He asked the manager at Costco if he could say something over the intercom. He offered to work for someone for one day only. He interviewed a panhandler, flew a plane, tried to be a bad salesman, and asked to plant a flower in a stranger's yard.
I did not count 100 different attempts, not even half that many. I imagine Jiang didn't include the ones that didn't go so well. The lessons he takes from the ones he does talk about are interesting, but the title of the book left me wanting to see the whole list.
The worst aspect of his journey is that on his third day he hit pay dirt. He asked a donut shop owner if she would make a set of donuts in the shape of the Olympic rings. After some explaining, she agreed to do it, and ended up not charging him for it. The video of this attempt became viral (see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ax2C...) and Jiang became instantly famous. In my mind, this amazing act that got him instant fame and TV talk show invitations kind of ruined the rest of the attempts. He wasn't able to top that experience, and didn't get to suffer the real pain of repeated rejections that most of us have to deal with. Still, an inspiring and lucky story on day 3.
The best part of the book for me was his discussions of why rejection is so hard and strategies for getting over it. It turns out that fear of rejection is a deeply ingrained emotion that explains why public speaking is our darkest fear. Since man is a social creature, we fear being cast out of our "tribes" for fear of having to go it alone. In the hunter-gatherer days people who were cast out usually ended up dying, so rejection was a life or death matter. Now, however, rejection has none of that power over our survival, and we need to deal with how to overcome those primitive emotions.
One of the best things you can do when rejected is to ask the other person why. Getting information is the key to improving yourself for the next attempts. Put yourself in the rejector's shoes and see things from their perspective. If you change your requests and switch them up you may be more likely to get to a yes.
Jiang says that rejection is only an opinion, and never a final verdict on your value as a person. Rejection also has a number, and almost anybody can get to a yes if they ask enough people. JK Rowling was rejected 12 times before someone agreed to publish her first Harry Potter book, and the annals of the entertainment industry are full of famous people and acts that got rejected repeatedly. One study I read said that the average job hunter faces 24 rejections before getting an offer.
There is no way most of us will ever get on the Supreme Court, given that there are only 9 justices and spots open up very infrequently. So applying to something like that, or pursuing other things like rock star fame, movie stardom, or $10 million sports contracts is inviting repeated rejection. Rejection can be both crushing or motivating, but before you even start you have to know and accept yourself and have realistic goals. Because its impossible to ask everybody everything, there's no telling what we might be missing out on if we'd just ask.
This book shows people that it's okay to be a little weird and think out of the box. You just never know where and when the yeses might come from. But the hard truth is that you have to be mentally tough and not take rejection personally- maintain a detached distance from the actual results. If you see most of your requests as a win/win proposition and behave authentically, people will respond to you. If not with a yes, maybe with information that will get you closer to a yes.
I don't know about 100 days as a magic number, but I hope to improve my asking muscles after reading this book. It's much easier to accept what already exists than to ask for more. But thank goodness we have people like Oliver Twist who are willing to face the dangers of rejection and challenge the status quos of life.
Jia Jiang is a writer who gained fame and fortune for his pursuit of rejection as a way of diminishing its power over him. This book is a documentation of his 100 days of asking for things, most of them silly and likely to be rejected. He has a website, Rejection Therapy, a TED talk, a viral video, and this bestselling book, so somehow he figured out a way to get people to say "yes" to him.
As a writer, I'm very used to being rejected, though usually it is an anonymous rejection when your letters and emails don't get responded to. The few rejections I get are rarely informative, so this book showed an interesting perspective.
While I enjoyed the book, I had several problems with it. Most of the requests were off-the-wall, and a rejection would be less harmful because there's little Jiang would lose besides a bit of time and/or embarrassment. He tried to hand apples of $5 bills to random strangers. He asked the manager at Costco if he could say something over the intercom. He offered to work for someone for one day only. He interviewed a panhandler, flew a plane, tried to be a bad salesman, and asked to plant a flower in a stranger's yard.
I did not count 100 different attempts, not even half that many. I imagine Jiang didn't include the ones that didn't go so well. The lessons he takes from the ones he does talk about are interesting, but the title of the book left me wanting to see the whole list.
The worst aspect of his journey is that on his third day he hit pay dirt. He asked a donut shop owner if she would make a set of donuts in the shape of the Olympic rings. After some explaining, she agreed to do it, and ended up not charging him for it. The video of this attempt became viral (see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ax2C...) and Jiang became instantly famous. In my mind, this amazing act that got him instant fame and TV talk show invitations kind of ruined the rest of the attempts. He wasn't able to top that experience, and didn't get to suffer the real pain of repeated rejections that most of us have to deal with. Still, an inspiring and lucky story on day 3.
The best part of the book for me was his discussions of why rejection is so hard and strategies for getting over it. It turns out that fear of rejection is a deeply ingrained emotion that explains why public speaking is our darkest fear. Since man is a social creature, we fear being cast out of our "tribes" for fear of having to go it alone. In the hunter-gatherer days people who were cast out usually ended up dying, so rejection was a life or death matter. Now, however, rejection has none of that power over our survival, and we need to deal with how to overcome those primitive emotions.
One of the best things you can do when rejected is to ask the other person why. Getting information is the key to improving yourself for the next attempts. Put yourself in the rejector's shoes and see things from their perspective. If you change your requests and switch them up you may be more likely to get to a yes.
Jiang says that rejection is only an opinion, and never a final verdict on your value as a person. Rejection also has a number, and almost anybody can get to a yes if they ask enough people. JK Rowling was rejected 12 times before someone agreed to publish her first Harry Potter book, and the annals of the entertainment industry are full of famous people and acts that got rejected repeatedly. One study I read said that the average job hunter faces 24 rejections before getting an offer.
There is no way most of us will ever get on the Supreme Court, given that there are only 9 justices and spots open up very infrequently. So applying to something like that, or pursuing other things like rock star fame, movie stardom, or $10 million sports contracts is inviting repeated rejection. Rejection can be both crushing or motivating, but before you even start you have to know and accept yourself and have realistic goals. Because its impossible to ask everybody everything, there's no telling what we might be missing out on if we'd just ask.
This book shows people that it's okay to be a little weird and think out of the box. You just never know where and when the yeses might come from. But the hard truth is that you have to be mentally tough and not take rejection personally- maintain a detached distance from the actual results. If you see most of your requests as a win/win proposition and behave authentically, people will respond to you. If not with a yes, maybe with information that will get you closer to a yes.
I don't know about 100 days as a magic number, but I hope to improve my asking muscles after reading this book. It's much easier to accept what already exists than to ask for more. But thank goodness we have people like Oliver Twist who are willing to face the dangers of rejection and challenge the status quos of life.
August 13, 2022
I almost DNF'd this multiple times, but I kept going because it was so short. I didn't hate it, but I didn't really like it either. I just kept thinking how this guy, from the time he was young, wanted to be an entrepreneur, to me that doesn't say he really wants to help people, that says to me that he cares about one thing: money. Which is fine, but I also don't really admire or care to learn from people that only care about money. He definitely capitalized on the fame of his experiments.
I also wasn't a huge fan of his "experiments." I don't want some stranger approaching me asking me to do some weird thing. It's annoying. His experiment was annoying. I did like how that Krispy Kreme manager got recognition, just for being a kind/fun person. That was cool. I learned more from her than from him - you can always find ways to challenge yourself and make your situation more fun.
I also had a hard time with the author because he kept holding up as examples people such as Donald Trump and I can't take that seriously. If you've had life handed to you on a silver plate, you are NOT an example of "getting through" rejection. I don't want to hear about the one-in-a-billion example that "made" it, like Bill Gates. I want to hear about people like the Krispy Kreme manager that make life beautiful where they're planted.
The one thing I did think about from Jiang is that it never hurts to ask. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for something, people can surprise you.
I also wasn't a huge fan of his "experiments." I don't want some stranger approaching me asking me to do some weird thing. It's annoying. His experiment was annoying. I did like how that Krispy Kreme manager got recognition, just for being a kind/fun person. That was cool. I learned more from her than from him - you can always find ways to challenge yourself and make your situation more fun.
I also had a hard time with the author because he kept holding up as examples people such as Donald Trump and I can't take that seriously. If you've had life handed to you on a silver plate, you are NOT an example of "getting through" rejection. I don't want to hear about the one-in-a-billion example that "made" it, like Bill Gates. I want to hear about people like the Krispy Kreme manager that make life beautiful where they're planted.
The one thing I did think about from Jiang is that it never hurts to ask. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for something, people can surprise you.
September 25, 2024
Y’all i need to complete my reading goal😭 i don’t think i would’ve put this book there otherwise lol, cus it’s also just not really anywhere near peak fiction but it was a book i found in the thrift store for 1 euro and since i was quite in the trenches looking for a job in Paris i thought this book might be worth a read. Tbh it’s also not that horrible, but it’s just not really good as well.
Like the main message it brings is good, and it’s also something which i managed to embrace while being in Paris and can wholeheartedly encourage everyone to do in life which is to ‘roll the dice’. Roll the dice of taking risks, even if it does not turn out as you’d like, there is something to learn from it + chances of it being the same result when you roll again will decrease.
It can only take one roll to fully change your life for the better, you just got to embrace chance. Nothing changes if nothing changes☝🏽
Like the main message it brings is good, and it’s also something which i managed to embrace while being in Paris and can wholeheartedly encourage everyone to do in life which is to ‘roll the dice’. Roll the dice of taking risks, even if it does not turn out as you’d like, there is something to learn from it + chances of it being the same result when you roll again will decrease.
It can only take one roll to fully change your life for the better, you just got to embrace chance. Nothing changes if nothing changes☝🏽
March 16, 2022
Bill Gates is his role model for sure!!
Rejection is a huge matter in every human being's life... The idea is very inspiring but the book is just ordinary like the other self-help books...
I would like to give it 3 stars out of 5.
Rejection is a huge matter in every human being's life... The idea is very inspiring but the book is just ordinary like the other self-help books...
I would like to give it 3 stars out of 5.
August 6, 2019
This book is very light and easy to read and it serves as both a tool to self improvement and also a way to make people laugh. I really enjoyed reading Jiang’s story!
January 6, 2020
Ask why after rejection. Retreat, regroup and ask for concession (lesser request) after rejection. “ every no is actually surrounded by a whole bunch of interesting but invisible yeses”. So many good takeaways here. I really enjoyed this book.
August 24, 2024
2024-08-17: 44%, four stars so far
the writer is a guy who did stuff and along the way he has learned stuff about himself and about human nature, unlike most motivational speakers who are just shitty novel writers and they imagine "what if"s from their living room. the problem is the pseudo-science used to justify the observations is from crap to a misunderstanding of the context. this is not so dramatic because (1) this is how self help books are written today, probably the editor also contributed to the injection of crap, and (2) because if those passages are removed from the book, the book works just as well.
i would have loved jiang to go all the way out, and follow his path even in the production of this book: yes, this is what he did, yes, this is what he noticed, yes, this is what he believes to be an explanation, and throw away everything else.
2024-08-23: three stars so far
i did not like how the author is trying to bullshit the reader. the part on quitting. ”winners don't quit, quitters don't win" says the same thing as "fail, and fail faster". only one is static and said by a sports coach, and the other one is dynamic, a few decades newer, and said by a smart motivational speaker. worse, the author's retreat and change angle solution is just a third iteration, although much weaker version of the fail faster part. one star down. i do enjoy his experiences and candid retelling. i don't like the attempts at scientism. this bull part, is not supposed to be there.
the writer is a guy who did stuff and along the way he has learned stuff about himself and about human nature, unlike most motivational speakers who are just shitty novel writers and they imagine "what if"s from their living room. the problem is the pseudo-science used to justify the observations is from crap to a misunderstanding of the context. this is not so dramatic because (1) this is how self help books are written today, probably the editor also contributed to the injection of crap, and (2) because if those passages are removed from the book, the book works just as well.
i would have loved jiang to go all the way out, and follow his path even in the production of this book: yes, this is what he did, yes, this is what he noticed, yes, this is what he believes to be an explanation, and throw away everything else.
2024-08-23: three stars so far
i did not like how the author is trying to bullshit the reader. the part on quitting. ”winners don't quit, quitters don't win" says the same thing as "fail, and fail faster". only one is static and said by a sports coach, and the other one is dynamic, a few decades newer, and said by a smart motivational speaker. worse, the author's retreat and change angle solution is just a third iteration, although much weaker version of the fail faster part. one star down. i do enjoy his experiences and candid retelling. i don't like the attempts at scientism. this bull part, is not supposed to be there.
March 2, 2025
1/5 stars
i had to read this for class and it was mind numbingly boring. corporate shill final boss omfg just look at this quote
"At one point during my rejection journey, I visited a bookstore and asked two clerks if I could borrow a book instead of buying one. They both said no and explained the obvious reason. But one of them said it with a grumpy and annoyed look, adding, 'I don’t know what else to tell you.' The other person said it with a smile. Next time I need to ask a question at a store, I’m certainly going to look for somebody with a smile on their face!"
like yeah...i too like to bother minimum wage workers just trying to do their job, ask them an absurd question, and then complain that they didn’t act how i wanted them to.
the WHOLE book was like this like???? negative stars i HATE motivational self help books i'd rather eat glass. not to mention he never even explained what happened w his startup like what was even the point.
i had to read this for class and it was mind numbingly boring. corporate shill final boss omfg just look at this quote
"At one point during my rejection journey, I visited a bookstore and asked two clerks if I could borrow a book instead of buying one. They both said no and explained the obvious reason. But one of them said it with a grumpy and annoyed look, adding, 'I don’t know what else to tell you.' The other person said it with a smile. Next time I need to ask a question at a store, I’m certainly going to look for somebody with a smile on their face!"
like yeah...i too like to bother minimum wage workers just trying to do their job, ask them an absurd question, and then complain that they didn’t act how i wanted them to.
the WHOLE book was like this like???? negative stars i HATE motivational self help books i'd rather eat glass. not to mention he never even explained what happened w his startup like what was even the point.
June 14, 2025
"In the end, what we really need is not acceptance from others but acceptance from ourselves."
"Rejection Is Human: Rejection is a human interaction with two sides. It often says more about the rejector than the rejectee, and should never be used as the universal truth and sole judgment of merit."
"Rejection Is Human: Rejection is a human interaction with two sides. It often says more about the rejector than the rejectee, and should never be used as the universal truth and sole judgment of merit."
March 19, 2023
after a longgg time... finally I came back to read book again!
the fear of the failure is more than the rejection instead. all I have worried about is the word "what if". while if we get fail, we just can say "oh ok" and then just move on or switch the direction on your purpose or whatever u want to be. here's mine :
[3/19, 6:53 PM] virdzaa: what's not kill you it's make you stronger
[3/19, 6:56 PM] virdzaa: stand-up comedy for a living. Yet most of us abandon these early dreams. As we get older, we learn through self-reflection that we don’t really have the combination of passion, drive, or talent for that particular dream. Or we learn through rejection that the world isn’t receptive to our endeavors. So we change course, often finding success in other professions. Again, this is the “Upside of Quitting” that economist authors Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt talk about.
[3/19, 6:56 PM] virdzaa: But some people don’t give up—even after the world initially, or even repeatedly, rejects them. They become who they always wanted to become because, through the worst rejections, they learned how much their dreams mean to them.
Dostoevsky once said, “The only thing I dread [is] not to be worthy of my sufferings.” The same goes for rejection. Is your dream bigger than your rejections? If it is, maybe it’s time to keep going, instead of giving up.
[3/19, 6:59 PM] virdzaa: But Smiley wasn’t willing to settle for that fate. He wanted to go on with his life and live it to the fullest—inside the army. He told our class: “I didn’t want to be Lt. Dan Taylor”—the fictional character in the movie Forrest Gump who becomes overly bitter after losing his leg in the Vietnam War.
So Smiley preempted the army’s inevitable decision by making one of his own. Instead of quietly retiring from the army, he petitioned to stay in, taking on jobs to help and inspire other injured soldiers. The army agreed, and Smiley became the army’s first blind active-duty officer.
[3/19, 7:00 PM] virdzaa: Losing his eyesight was a tragedy. But instead of being defined by tragedy like so many others, Scotty decided to define himself through his reaction
[3/19, 7:00 PM] virdzaa: oment, I realized there is no way I could feel bad for Scotty Smiley. I thought to myself, My God, what a guy! And what a privilege it is for me to know this man!
Losing his eyesight was a tragedy. But instead of being defined by tragedy like so many others, Scotty decided to define himself through his reaction. In a way, he found his new mission in life through his rejection and turned a story of tragedy into one filled with meaning and joy. Because he chose to
[3/19, 7:02 PM] virdzaa: We might not have freedom to control our situations, but we have freedom to find meaning in every experience, even when it’s rejection, whether it’s empathy, value, or a new mission in life.
LESSONS
[3/19, 7:04 PM] virdzaa: I started my rejection journey with a very straightforward goal: to overcome rejection so that I could become free to take more risks in my business and in my career. Put another way, I was focusing on the outer world and how to get better at dealing with it. But in the end, the biggest surprise of my journey was how much overcoming rejection would change my inner world—the way that I experience both the world and myself
[3/19, 7:36 PM] virdzaa: I was consumed with one thought: What if I had never asked Desmond if I could fly his plane in the first place? I would have missed this whole experience. I wouldn’t even know gyroplanes existed.
[3/19, 7:39 PM] virdzaa: Everyone who sets out on this journey will get rejected somewhere along the way. But by not even asking, we are rejecting ourselves by default—and probably missing out on opportunity as a result
[3/19, 7:39 PM] virdzaa: less than half of working Americans (44 percent of women and 48 percent of men) have ever asked for
[3/19, 7:39 PM] virdzaa: he is never afraid to ask. I am sure I was the same way as a child, and we were all the same way at one point in our lives.
But as we grow older and “wise up,” we learn that we can’t always get what we want and that sometimes we need to be judicious in making requests. And sure, constantly asking for $100 from your friend might not be a good idea and you might quickly run out of friends. However, we let the pendulum of requests swing too far in the direction of not asking for what we want due to fear
[3/19, 7:40 PM] virdzaa: grow older and “wise up,” we learn that we can’t always get what we want and that sometimes we need to be judicious in making requests. And sure, constantly asking for $100 from your friend might not be a good idea and you might quickly run out of friends. However, we let the pendulum of requests swing too far in the direction of not asking for what we want due to fear of rejection. We stop making requests to the detriment of our dreams, aspirations, and relationships. We start to get overly timid and careful, and we start to tell ourselves stories about how we shouldn’t bother people, how we would get rejected anyway, and how we will someday ask “when the timing is right,” even though the “right timing” never comes. We tell ourselves all these lies because of one thing: we want to avoid rejection.
[3/19, 7:41 PM] virdzaa: I’ve learned that amazing things can happen when I reach out and take that first step
[3/19, 7:41 PM] virdzaa: ch out and take that first step—and my excitement about those possibilities has begun to overshadow any fear I have about potential rejection. In a way, I am not afraid of people anymore, and I have never felt that way before in my life.
[3/19, 7:46 PM] virdzaa: Motivation. I could have used the rejection as a motivation tool, pursuing the idea anyway and demonstrating to my uncle that I was up to the task, and that his rejection was wrong. I know that he, just like a loving father, would have been happy to be proven wrong by my success.
[3/19, 7:48 PM] virdzaa: my original blueprint, drawing a better and more practical model and sending it to him for further opinion.
Worthiness. I could have drawn the conclusion that the rejection possibly signaled the unconventional and creative nature of my idea.
Character building. Last, I could have used the no to strengthen instead of weaken myself mentally. A rejection from a family member is great preparation for rejection from future customers and investors. I could have said to myself: If I didn’t give up when my uncle said no, why would I give up when anyone else said no?
Most important, I would have realized that rejection is nothing to be afraid of
[3/19, 8:02 PM] virdzaa: his measurement of success for his players was effort based, not results based. It was whether they had prepared thoroughly and played their best game, not beaten their opponent. That’s what my rejection journey taught me: to play my best, and not worry about the results—even when the stakes seem impossibly high
[3/19, 8:02 PM] virdzaa: Detachment from Results: By focusing on controllable factors such as our efforts and actions, and by detaching ourselves from uncontrollable outcomes such as acceptance and rejection, we can achieve greater success in the long run
[3/19, 8:04 PM] virdzaa: And I can’t help but feel that, in doing so, I’ve found something that I lost long ago. Remember the kid from Beijing who read Thomas Edison’s biography, idolized Bill Gates, and wrote that letter to his family, vowing to buy Microsoft by age twenty-five? The one who walked through that fresh snowfield, dreaming of possibilities?
That kid is back. Actually, he never left. He was simply covered up by layers and layers of fear
[3/19, 8:04 PM] virdzaa: rejections. However, the difference this time is that I am no longer afraid. Instead, I am intrigued and excited. I want to know, by fighting through my own rejections and helping others to overcome their own, how many more dreams would be fulfilled, how many more cool ideas would be realized, and how many more love stories would be written if we weren’t afraid of
but my favorite is....
However, the difference this time is that I am no longer afraid. Instead, I am intrigued and excited. I want to know, by fighting through my own rejections and helping others to overcome their own, how many more dreams would be fulfilled, how many more cool ideas would be realized, and how many more love stories would be written if we weren’t afraid of rejection. More than wondering, I want to help the world—help you—make those things happen. The rejection-proof world is a wonderful place to live. I hope that this book draws many more people into it—including you. And if you know other people with big dreams and goals who are being held back by fear, please share this book with them. It will help.
If it doesn’t help, just buy them a box of donuts. That always helps.
the fear of the failure is more than the rejection instead. all I have worried about is the word "what if". while if we get fail, we just can say "oh ok" and then just move on or switch the direction on your purpose or whatever u want to be. here's mine :
[3/19, 6:53 PM] virdzaa: what's not kill you it's make you stronger
[3/19, 6:56 PM] virdzaa: stand-up comedy for a living. Yet most of us abandon these early dreams. As we get older, we learn through self-reflection that we don’t really have the combination of passion, drive, or talent for that particular dream. Or we learn through rejection that the world isn’t receptive to our endeavors. So we change course, often finding success in other professions. Again, this is the “Upside of Quitting” that economist authors Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt talk about.
[3/19, 6:56 PM] virdzaa: But some people don’t give up—even after the world initially, or even repeatedly, rejects them. They become who they always wanted to become because, through the worst rejections, they learned how much their dreams mean to them.
Dostoevsky once said, “The only thing I dread [is] not to be worthy of my sufferings.” The same goes for rejection. Is your dream bigger than your rejections? If it is, maybe it’s time to keep going, instead of giving up.
[3/19, 6:59 PM] virdzaa: But Smiley wasn’t willing to settle for that fate. He wanted to go on with his life and live it to the fullest—inside the army. He told our class: “I didn’t want to be Lt. Dan Taylor”—the fictional character in the movie Forrest Gump who becomes overly bitter after losing his leg in the Vietnam War.
So Smiley preempted the army’s inevitable decision by making one of his own. Instead of quietly retiring from the army, he petitioned to stay in, taking on jobs to help and inspire other injured soldiers. The army agreed, and Smiley became the army’s first blind active-duty officer.
[3/19, 7:00 PM] virdzaa: Losing his eyesight was a tragedy. But instead of being defined by tragedy like so many others, Scotty decided to define himself through his reaction
[3/19, 7:00 PM] virdzaa: oment, I realized there is no way I could feel bad for Scotty Smiley. I thought to myself, My God, what a guy! And what a privilege it is for me to know this man!
Losing his eyesight was a tragedy. But instead of being defined by tragedy like so many others, Scotty decided to define himself through his reaction. In a way, he found his new mission in life through his rejection and turned a story of tragedy into one filled with meaning and joy. Because he chose to
[3/19, 7:02 PM] virdzaa: We might not have freedom to control our situations, but we have freedom to find meaning in every experience, even when it’s rejection, whether it’s empathy, value, or a new mission in life.
LESSONS
[3/19, 7:04 PM] virdzaa: I started my rejection journey with a very straightforward goal: to overcome rejection so that I could become free to take more risks in my business and in my career. Put another way, I was focusing on the outer world and how to get better at dealing with it. But in the end, the biggest surprise of my journey was how much overcoming rejection would change my inner world—the way that I experience both the world and myself
[3/19, 7:36 PM] virdzaa: I was consumed with one thought: What if I had never asked Desmond if I could fly his plane in the first place? I would have missed this whole experience. I wouldn’t even know gyroplanes existed.
[3/19, 7:39 PM] virdzaa: Everyone who sets out on this journey will get rejected somewhere along the way. But by not even asking, we are rejecting ourselves by default—and probably missing out on opportunity as a result
[3/19, 7:39 PM] virdzaa: less than half of working Americans (44 percent of women and 48 percent of men) have ever asked for
[3/19, 7:39 PM] virdzaa: he is never afraid to ask. I am sure I was the same way as a child, and we were all the same way at one point in our lives.
But as we grow older and “wise up,” we learn that we can’t always get what we want and that sometimes we need to be judicious in making requests. And sure, constantly asking for $100 from your friend might not be a good idea and you might quickly run out of friends. However, we let the pendulum of requests swing too far in the direction of not asking for what we want due to fear
[3/19, 7:40 PM] virdzaa: grow older and “wise up,” we learn that we can’t always get what we want and that sometimes we need to be judicious in making requests. And sure, constantly asking for $100 from your friend might not be a good idea and you might quickly run out of friends. However, we let the pendulum of requests swing too far in the direction of not asking for what we want due to fear of rejection. We stop making requests to the detriment of our dreams, aspirations, and relationships. We start to get overly timid and careful, and we start to tell ourselves stories about how we shouldn’t bother people, how we would get rejected anyway, and how we will someday ask “when the timing is right,” even though the “right timing” never comes. We tell ourselves all these lies because of one thing: we want to avoid rejection.
[3/19, 7:41 PM] virdzaa: I’ve learned that amazing things can happen when I reach out and take that first step
[3/19, 7:41 PM] virdzaa: ch out and take that first step—and my excitement about those possibilities has begun to overshadow any fear I have about potential rejection. In a way, I am not afraid of people anymore, and I have never felt that way before in my life.
[3/19, 7:46 PM] virdzaa: Motivation. I could have used the rejection as a motivation tool, pursuing the idea anyway and demonstrating to my uncle that I was up to the task, and that his rejection was wrong. I know that he, just like a loving father, would have been happy to be proven wrong by my success.
[3/19, 7:48 PM] virdzaa: my original blueprint, drawing a better and more practical model and sending it to him for further opinion.
Worthiness. I could have drawn the conclusion that the rejection possibly signaled the unconventional and creative nature of my idea.
Character building. Last, I could have used the no to strengthen instead of weaken myself mentally. A rejection from a family member is great preparation for rejection from future customers and investors. I could have said to myself: If I didn’t give up when my uncle said no, why would I give up when anyone else said no?
Most important, I would have realized that rejection is nothing to be afraid of
[3/19, 8:02 PM] virdzaa: his measurement of success for his players was effort based, not results based. It was whether they had prepared thoroughly and played their best game, not beaten their opponent. That’s what my rejection journey taught me: to play my best, and not worry about the results—even when the stakes seem impossibly high
[3/19, 8:02 PM] virdzaa: Detachment from Results: By focusing on controllable factors such as our efforts and actions, and by detaching ourselves from uncontrollable outcomes such as acceptance and rejection, we can achieve greater success in the long run
[3/19, 8:04 PM] virdzaa: And I can’t help but feel that, in doing so, I’ve found something that I lost long ago. Remember the kid from Beijing who read Thomas Edison’s biography, idolized Bill Gates, and wrote that letter to his family, vowing to buy Microsoft by age twenty-five? The one who walked through that fresh snowfield, dreaming of possibilities?
That kid is back. Actually, he never left. He was simply covered up by layers and layers of fear
[3/19, 8:04 PM] virdzaa: rejections. However, the difference this time is that I am no longer afraid. Instead, I am intrigued and excited. I want to know, by fighting through my own rejections and helping others to overcome their own, how many more dreams would be fulfilled, how many more cool ideas would be realized, and how many more love stories would be written if we weren’t afraid of
but my favorite is....
However, the difference this time is that I am no longer afraid. Instead, I am intrigued and excited. I want to know, by fighting through my own rejections and helping others to overcome their own, how many more dreams would be fulfilled, how many more cool ideas would be realized, and how many more love stories would be written if we weren’t afraid of rejection. More than wondering, I want to help the world—help you—make those things happen. The rejection-proof world is a wonderful place to live. I hope that this book draws many more people into it—including you. And if you know other people with big dreams and goals who are being held back by fear, please share this book with them. It will help.
If it doesn’t help, just buy them a box of donuts. That always helps.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 4, 2020
Not only has this book hit me where I’m at, it has made a difference in how I relate to people. I realized how much fear of rejection has crippled the authenticity of my relationships.
Here are a couple gems. Rejection is simply one person’s opinion - it is not absolute truth. Rejection says more about the rejector then the rejectee. To the level that I crave deeply other’s approval, to that level it controls me and handicap’s me. Care about their approval and you will be there prisoner. In a study done, the group able to take revenge against personal rejection, felt no more at peace then those not allowed to take revenge. We are often deceived as to how powerful our rejectors are - much like the little old man behind the curtain in wizard of oz. I have difficulty saying no to people often out of fear of them thinking less of me, rejecting.
Here are a couple gems. Rejection is simply one person’s opinion - it is not absolute truth. Rejection says more about the rejector then the rejectee. To the level that I crave deeply other’s approval, to that level it controls me and handicap’s me. Care about their approval and you will be there prisoner. In a study done, the group able to take revenge against personal rejection, felt no more at peace then those not allowed to take revenge. We are often deceived as to how powerful our rejectors are - much like the little old man behind the curtain in wizard of oz. I have difficulty saying no to people often out of fear of them thinking less of me, rejecting.
November 17, 2020
Very fun read — I would be quick to recommend this to someone going through a job search. However the value is inspirational/motivational more than anything else, Jia Jiang's takeaways are good to keep in mind but they are not new wisdom.
February 2, 2019
i expected to love this book based on reviews and the content—i love memoirs and insights into the way people think. what i found was less of a memoir and more of a glorified version of someone trying to explain internet fame by injecting themselves into recent history among famous people they admire.
this book reinforces unhealthy views of scarcity, conforming for others approval, and the idea one is “chosen.” what it doesn’t do is take context, compatibility, and timing into account.
i found myself disappointed that Jia Jiang consistently refers to this project as “100 days of rejection” pretending like the aim is to normalize rejection, when in reality he takes every rejection personally and never seems to be able to let go of his ego. the rejection project does not feel authentic because the requests are silly and Jiang isn’t really invested in the outcome but just wants a ‘yes’ for the sake of saying he was accepted.
he continuously makes the argument that no one should be scared of taking risks due to the fear of rejection, but Jiang doesn’t seem to actually do that. his project transforms into trying to get others to accept his absurd requests because it’s easier than accepting no with grace.
what i wish this book was:
i wish that Jiang explored compatibility and the concept that just because one gets rejected does not mean that person isn’t worthy of the position they applied for. it just means that the context and timing was not a good fit for any number of reasons. whether professionally, romantically, or any other context, there are so many factors as to why one might be rejected. timing seems like such an obvious reason as to why someone might be a great fit but still get rejected. none of this is mentioned or explored.
if the topic of rejection interests you i recommend skipping over this one and reading something by Brene Brown instead.
this book reinforces unhealthy views of scarcity, conforming for others approval, and the idea one is “chosen.” what it doesn’t do is take context, compatibility, and timing into account.
i found myself disappointed that Jia Jiang consistently refers to this project as “100 days of rejection” pretending like the aim is to normalize rejection, when in reality he takes every rejection personally and never seems to be able to let go of his ego. the rejection project does not feel authentic because the requests are silly and Jiang isn’t really invested in the outcome but just wants a ‘yes’ for the sake of saying he was accepted.
he continuously makes the argument that no one should be scared of taking risks due to the fear of rejection, but Jiang doesn’t seem to actually do that. his project transforms into trying to get others to accept his absurd requests because it’s easier than accepting no with grace.
what i wish this book was:
i wish that Jiang explored compatibility and the concept that just because one gets rejected does not mean that person isn’t worthy of the position they applied for. it just means that the context and timing was not a good fit for any number of reasons. whether professionally, romantically, or any other context, there are so many factors as to why one might be rejected. timing seems like such an obvious reason as to why someone might be a great fit but still get rejected. none of this is mentioned or explored.
if the topic of rejection interests you i recommend skipping over this one and reading something by Brene Brown instead.
January 7, 2019
The author wrote this book after he was rejected from a VC funding round for his failed start-up. This rejection was the impetus for a self-learning program that he designed to defeat his fear of rejection. Not exactly the "Hero's Journey", but everybody's the center of their own story I guess. His self-learning program involves him to spend 100 days requesting relatively to do abnormal things to strangers he runs into during his day-to-day.
The author created a vlog to track his progress requesting things as random as playing soccer in a stranger's backyard, asking for free food to strangers, as well as requesting goods and services etc. He hit paydirt when he asked a Krispy Kreme team member to make an ad-hoc doughnut set in the shape of the Olympic rings. The manager not only baked the request but provided the goods to the author free of charge. Upon uploading this video, his site went viral, which opened up a lot of opportunities to exercise his experiment on a more expansive scale.
Along the way, the author learns not only about rejection, but societal empathy (some of his rejection tasks involved helping the poor and homeless), but also imbibed in him a newfound optimism about humanity (according to him). Critics may point out that most of these bizarre requests were done around the Austin metro area, and perhaps would have led to less than savoury results had he engaged in his exercise in some other parts of west Texas. This is probably not replicable.
Not a bad short book, and at the very least an entertaining tale on the author's unique solution to conquering his fears. I'd only get it on sale.
The author created a vlog to track his progress requesting things as random as playing soccer in a stranger's backyard, asking for free food to strangers, as well as requesting goods and services etc. He hit paydirt when he asked a Krispy Kreme team member to make an ad-hoc doughnut set in the shape of the Olympic rings. The manager not only baked the request but provided the goods to the author free of charge. Upon uploading this video, his site went viral, which opened up a lot of opportunities to exercise his experiment on a more expansive scale.
Along the way, the author learns not only about rejection, but societal empathy (some of his rejection tasks involved helping the poor and homeless), but also imbibed in him a newfound optimism about humanity (according to him). Critics may point out that most of these bizarre requests were done around the Austin metro area, and perhaps would have led to less than savoury results had he engaged in his exercise in some other parts of west Texas. This is probably not replicable.
Not a bad short book, and at the very least an entertaining tale on the author's unique solution to conquering his fears. I'd only get it on sale.
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