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Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging
From the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi, a stirring account of one woman’s journey from feeling like an outsider to becoming one of the most admired religious leaders in the world
Angela Buchdahl was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father. Profoundly spiritual from a young age, by sixteen she felt the first stirrings to become a rabbi. Despite the naysayers and periods of self-doubt—Would a mixed-race woman ever be seen as authentically Jewish or chosen to lead a congregation?—she stayed the course, which took her first to Yale, then to rabbinical school, and finally to the pulpit of one of the largest, most influential congregations in the world.
Today, Angela Buchdahl inspires Jews and non-Jews alike with her invigorating, joyful approach to worship and her belief in the power of faith, gratitude, and responsibility for one another, regardless of religion. She does not shy away from difficult topics, from racism within the Jewish community and the sexism she confronted when she aspired to the top job to rising antisemitism today. Buchdahl teaches how these challenges, which can make one feel like a stranger, can ultimately be the source of our greatest empathy and strength.
Angela Buchdahl has gone from outsider to officiant, from feeling estranged to feeling embraced—and she's emerged with a deep conviction that we are all bound to a larger whole and mission. She has written a book that is both memoir and spiritual guide for everyday living, which is exactly what so many of us crave right now.
Angela Buchdahl was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father. Profoundly spiritual from a young age, by sixteen she felt the first stirrings to become a rabbi. Despite the naysayers and periods of self-doubt—Would a mixed-race woman ever be seen as authentically Jewish or chosen to lead a congregation?—she stayed the course, which took her first to Yale, then to rabbinical school, and finally to the pulpit of one of the largest, most influential congregations in the world.
Today, Angela Buchdahl inspires Jews and non-Jews alike with her invigorating, joyful approach to worship and her belief in the power of faith, gratitude, and responsibility for one another, regardless of religion. She does not shy away from difficult topics, from racism within the Jewish community and the sexism she confronted when she aspired to the top job to rising antisemitism today. Buchdahl teaches how these challenges, which can make one feel like a stranger, can ultimately be the source of our greatest empathy and strength.
Angela Buchdahl has gone from outsider to officiant, from feeling estranged to feeling embraced—and she's emerged with a deep conviction that we are all bound to a larger whole and mission. She has written a book that is both memoir and spiritual guide for everyday living, which is exactly what so many of us crave right now.
11 pages, Audible Audio
Published October 21, 2025
743 people are currently reading
3608 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 284 reviews
August 2, 2025
Can’t say I’m totally objective. But I loved this book. :)
November 8, 2025
5.0
The first Asian-American female to be ordained as a Rabbi. Angela now resides in NYC, heading up a very large congregation. She was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father.
The feeling of not belonging comes in a package. Self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness and the like are major struggles- until you beat it, which she did, but it was far from a walk in the park.
This book is terrific. She is quite spiritual, yet so down to earth.
Angela is a force to be reckoned with- in the best way.
I met her by chance and am totally impressed by her character.
The first Asian-American female to be ordained as a Rabbi. Angela now resides in NYC, heading up a very large congregation. She was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father.
The feeling of not belonging comes in a package. Self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness and the like are major struggles- until you beat it, which she did, but it was far from a walk in the park.
This book is terrific. She is quite spiritual, yet so down to earth.
Angela is a force to be reckoned with- in the best way.
I met her by chance and am totally impressed by her character.
October 28, 2025
So inspirational that demonstrates how perseverance and passion can lead to spiritual success! I really enjoyed hearing the journey of this famous rabbi who overcame many obstacles to help an inordinate amount of people. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.
October 22, 2025
Absolutely fantastic book. I watch Central Synagogue’s Shabbos services on YouTube every Friday night and Saturday mornings. Their services have renewed my faith!
I have to say that if you have the opportunity to listen to the audiobook, it is wonderful! You can hear the Rabbi singing on this. Also, if you look up “Central Synagogue” on Apple Music, there is a beautiful album there!
I have to say that if you have the opportunity to listen to the audiobook, it is wonderful! You can hear the Rabbi singing on this. Also, if you look up “Central Synagogue” on Apple Music, there is a beautiful album there!
December 22, 2025
I loved this book. I learned a lot and loved the explanations at the end of every chapter.
August 31, 2025
In Heart of a Stranger, Rabbi Angela Buchdahl shares her inspiring journey growing up as a half-Jewish, half-Korean immigrant to the United States. The book traces her upbringing, education and ascent to becoming one of the most respected rabbis in the world. With honesty and candor, Rabbi Buchdahl shares her experiences of being treated like an outsider in the Jewish community throughout her life and how she is now an outspoken advocate for inclusion and acceptance in the Jewish community. This book is more than just a memoir. After each chapter, Rabbi Buchdahl includes a short chapter with lessons on Jewish texts and practice. I really enjoyed reading the hybrid of personal experiences and teachings.
On social media, Rabbi Buchdahl has shared that the audio version of this book, which will be released in October 2025, will include her signing songs that "illustrate the narrative". I cannot wait to experience this book a second time when the audio version is released in several weeks.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Penguin for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
On social media, Rabbi Buchdahl has shared that the audio version of this book, which will be released in October 2025, will include her signing songs that "illustrate the narrative". I cannot wait to experience this book a second time when the audio version is released in several weeks.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Penguin for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
October 29, 2025
Happy Pub week!
Heart of a Stranger is the gift that the world needs right now. None of my words could possibly do justice to the beautiful prose and deeply thought out ideas that Rabbi Angela Buchdahl sets out in her memoir. The book traces her time as an Asian American Jew in Tacoma Washington through to her role leading Central Synagogue in Manhattan.
Along the way, Buchdahl faces prejudice within and outside the Jewish community - for being a Jew of colour, for growing up as a Jew in a new-Jewish community, for being born to a Korean American mother when most Jews trace lineage matrilineally not patrilineally, for being a woman daring to dream she can lead a congregation while raising her children, for not being "Jewish" enough during her cantorial and rabbinical studies. And if those spiritual tests were not enough, Buchdahl is party to a terrifying role in a hostage situation, must learn to lead her congregation through prayers and life cycle events during the global pandemic, and has to offer her congregation comfort and wisdom in the face of the upheaval caused to the Jewish community and the world as a result of the October 7 2023 massacre.
Rabbi Buchdahl offers much to savour and ponder - she explains what all faiths share and how we can work together to make a better world. And she reminds us that "Judaism is not just something you're given. It's something you choose." This memoir makes me proud to "choose" my Judaism over and over.
Heart of a Stranger is the gift that the world needs right now. None of my words could possibly do justice to the beautiful prose and deeply thought out ideas that Rabbi Angela Buchdahl sets out in her memoir. The book traces her time as an Asian American Jew in Tacoma Washington through to her role leading Central Synagogue in Manhattan.
Along the way, Buchdahl faces prejudice within and outside the Jewish community - for being a Jew of colour, for growing up as a Jew in a new-Jewish community, for being born to a Korean American mother when most Jews trace lineage matrilineally not patrilineally, for being a woman daring to dream she can lead a congregation while raising her children, for not being "Jewish" enough during her cantorial and rabbinical studies. And if those spiritual tests were not enough, Buchdahl is party to a terrifying role in a hostage situation, must learn to lead her congregation through prayers and life cycle events during the global pandemic, and has to offer her congregation comfort and wisdom in the face of the upheaval caused to the Jewish community and the world as a result of the October 7 2023 massacre.
Rabbi Buchdahl offers much to savour and ponder - she explains what all faiths share and how we can work together to make a better world. And she reminds us that "Judaism is not just something you're given. It's something you choose." This memoir makes me proud to "choose" my Judaism over and over.
November 25, 2025
This book recounts Rabbi Buchdahl's "unlikely story" with grace—and Torah insights at the conclusion of each chapter. It's a personal/familial history as well as a chronicle of social and cultural changes over the last quarter of the 20th century and the first quarter of this one.
October 21, 2025
An incredible book start to finish!
November 25, 2025
Heart of a stranger, soul of a family
When you feel like a stranger, open your arms and share who you are. As Rabbi Angela Buchdahl tells her story, she welcomes us into her world. We sample the sounds, sights, and flavors of growing up in Seoul, Korea and Tacoma, Washington. We meet Rabbi’s family; they become our own. We become one with Mt. Rainier as her Korean Buddhist mother taught her to do when she first climbed it with her family and gazed with awe at the stunning scenery surrounding and below. This early lesson in one people, one world, resonates throughout the book. It is one of the most important truths we can actualize today.
Each chapter alternates with an interwoven lesson in a “middah”(Jewish core value), concept, or building-block. Each lesson reflects, and braids, Rabbi Buchdahl’s experience to Torah and Talmud. This unique bond bears crystalline relevance; yet each lesson is taught with such clarity that I’ve put *Heart of a Stranger* on my recommended reading list for my conversion students.
To be a Jew is to span more than one truth at a time. Tears sprang to my eyes when Rabbi Buchdahl told of her European Ashkenazic father saying to her, “You are one hundred per cent Korean. You are one hundred per cent Jewish. And you are one hundred per cent American.” My late former husband and I constantly said this to our Seoul-born son after we adopted him. If Harry Shuchat-Marx, né Gim YeDam, cracks just one more book in his life (may it be long and happy!), I hope he picks *Heart of a Stranger,*
When you feel like a stranger, open your arms and share who you are. As Rabbi Angela Buchdahl tells her story, she welcomes us into her world. We sample the sounds, sights, and flavors of growing up in Seoul, Korea and Tacoma, Washington. We meet Rabbi’s family; they become our own. We become one with Mt. Rainier as her Korean Buddhist mother taught her to do when she first climbed it with her family and gazed with awe at the stunning scenery surrounding and below. This early lesson in one people, one world, resonates throughout the book. It is one of the most important truths we can actualize today.
Each chapter alternates with an interwoven lesson in a “middah”(Jewish core value), concept, or building-block. Each lesson reflects, and braids, Rabbi Buchdahl’s experience to Torah and Talmud. This unique bond bears crystalline relevance; yet each lesson is taught with such clarity that I’ve put *Heart of a Stranger* on my recommended reading list for my conversion students.
To be a Jew is to span more than one truth at a time. Tears sprang to my eyes when Rabbi Buchdahl told of her European Ashkenazic father saying to her, “You are one hundred per cent Korean. You are one hundred per cent Jewish. And you are one hundred per cent American.” My late former husband and I constantly said this to our Seoul-born son after we adopted him. If Harry Shuchat-Marx, né Gim YeDam, cracks just one more book in his life (may it be long and happy!), I hope he picks *Heart of a Stranger,*
October 20, 2025
Rabbi Buchdahl, the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi, gracefully challenges the belief that Jews are a monolith. Indeed, Jews are much more diverse than the spotlight long held by Orthodox men.
Not knowing much about Rabbi Buchdahl, I really enjoyed the way she her interwove her life story with sidebars of ancient texts. Her warm tone and pragmatic worldview felt learned without being sanctimonious, and made clear she's earned every bit of her Rabbinate.
It is especially difficult these days to be a Progressive Zionist, and Rabbi Buchdahl threaded that needle with the compassion and pragmatism we desperately need in this post-October-7th world.
While I have a Jewish day school diploma and Bat Mitzvah certificate, I describe my level of observance as "disappointing my Ashki Egal Conservative mother by not practicing".
That being said, one of the best parts of being an ethnoreligion is celebrating our tribe's accomplishments regardless of affiliation or observance levels. This book is one such celebration, and it both affirmed and challenged me while feeling like a warm welcome home.
I quite obviously recommend this book to fellow MOT, I also suggest this book to anyone wanting to learn about Judaism from a perspective of multicultural otherness.
"Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging" by Angela Buchdahl releases on October 21, 2025.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Effusive thanks to @NetGalley and @VikingBooks for sending this book for review consideration.
All opinions are my own.
Not knowing much about Rabbi Buchdahl, I really enjoyed the way she her interwove her life story with sidebars of ancient texts. Her warm tone and pragmatic worldview felt learned without being sanctimonious, and made clear she's earned every bit of her Rabbinate.
It is especially difficult these days to be a Progressive Zionist, and Rabbi Buchdahl threaded that needle with the compassion and pragmatism we desperately need in this post-October-7th world.
While I have a Jewish day school diploma and Bat Mitzvah certificate, I describe my level of observance as "disappointing my Ashki Egal Conservative mother by not practicing".
That being said, one of the best parts of being an ethnoreligion is celebrating our tribe's accomplishments regardless of affiliation or observance levels. This book is one such celebration, and it both affirmed and challenged me while feeling like a warm welcome home.
I quite obviously recommend this book to fellow MOT, I also suggest this book to anyone wanting to learn about Judaism from a perspective of multicultural otherness.
"Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging" by Angela Buchdahl releases on October 21, 2025.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Effusive thanks to @NetGalley and @VikingBooks for sending this book for review consideration.
All opinions are my own.
September 22, 2025
Beautifully written, Angela Buchdahl transcends her thoughts and convictions deep within her heart, mind and soul.
She is a remarkable leader; the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi. With a Buddhist mother from Korea and a Jewish father from Tacoma, Washington, her adventurous journey has shaped her vision.
Angela Buchdahl came to the US at age five and was raised in the beautiful Northwest with picnics at the majestic Mt. Rainier. She played the flute and achieved high marks in high school. With a strong religious background, it opened her mind to becoming a spiritual teacher.
It's not a surprise that she now has a huge following. In the midst of a world full of fear and anger, Angela Buchdahl, has a strong sense of calmness. She said when people are fearful, they should never let this emotion win. It’s a choice; we are always in control of fear. She goes on to say that every one of life’s events have something to teach us. She talks about the power of love, honor, trust and faith. And there’s a great deal more.
Her life has been full of challenges and hopes for a better world for us all. It makes you envious of those who are close by to hear her sermons. Yet, this memoir is awe-inspiring with words that are powerful and unforgettable.
My thanks to Pamela Dorman Books and NetGalley for a copy of this advanced book with an expected release date of October 21, 2025. As always, my opinions are my own.
She is a remarkable leader; the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi. With a Buddhist mother from Korea and a Jewish father from Tacoma, Washington, her adventurous journey has shaped her vision.
Angela Buchdahl came to the US at age five and was raised in the beautiful Northwest with picnics at the majestic Mt. Rainier. She played the flute and achieved high marks in high school. With a strong religious background, it opened her mind to becoming a spiritual teacher.
It's not a surprise that she now has a huge following. In the midst of a world full of fear and anger, Angela Buchdahl, has a strong sense of calmness. She said when people are fearful, they should never let this emotion win. It’s a choice; we are always in control of fear. She goes on to say that every one of life’s events have something to teach us. She talks about the power of love, honor, trust and faith. And there’s a great deal more.
Her life has been full of challenges and hopes for a better world for us all. It makes you envious of those who are close by to hear her sermons. Yet, this memoir is awe-inspiring with words that are powerful and unforgettable.
My thanks to Pamela Dorman Books and NetGalley for a copy of this advanced book with an expected release date of October 21, 2025. As always, my opinions are my own.
November 1, 2025
I had the pleasure of hearing Rabbi Buchdahl speak at the Weitzman center with a couple friends of mine. She was incandescent. Just extraordinary.
I got a free copy of her book with my ticket, but wanted to hear her narration of her own memoir. I’m so glad I chose to listen to her telling of her story. Her speaking voice matches her singing voice in power and resonance. I was deeply moved by her story of continuous search for belonging and her refusal to abandon any facet of her identity. I learned more about Judaism from reading this book, but I also learned about grace and holding space for nuance. I have seen lately some vicious attacks against Rabbi Buchdahl online by Jews, and it deeply saddens me. Attacks from antisemites are one thing but attacks from within our community are difficult to process and understand. I think what I admire most about Rabbi Buchdahl is her transcendent resilience.
Thank you Rabbi Buchdahl for your resonant leadership in this crazy world. Our community is so lucky to have your voice/ singing and speaking :). I truly believe Angela Buchdahl is one of the most relevant and important spiritual leaders of our time and feel grateful to be here now to bear witness.
I got a free copy of her book with my ticket, but wanted to hear her narration of her own memoir. I’m so glad I chose to listen to her telling of her story. Her speaking voice matches her singing voice in power and resonance. I was deeply moved by her story of continuous search for belonging and her refusal to abandon any facet of her identity. I learned more about Judaism from reading this book, but I also learned about grace and holding space for nuance. I have seen lately some vicious attacks against Rabbi Buchdahl online by Jews, and it deeply saddens me. Attacks from antisemites are one thing but attacks from within our community are difficult to process and understand. I think what I admire most about Rabbi Buchdahl is her transcendent resilience.
Thank you Rabbi Buchdahl for your resonant leadership in this crazy world. Our community is so lucky to have your voice/ singing and speaking :). I truly believe Angela Buchdahl is one of the most relevant and important spiritual leaders of our time and feel grateful to be here now to bear witness.
July 15, 2025
Fantastic book! I can't say enough about how Angela Buchahl so beautifully captures the tension of identities and moments in time. Her writing is accessible and beautiful, and I am SO GRATEFUL to have been given this advance uncorrected copy to read. I can't wait for the rest of the world to enjoy it too!
December 20, 2025
Refreshing. Beautiful. Hearing the first Asian American Woman Rabbi speak about Faith and Community. It is inspiring. She was always striving for a feeling of belonging since her mother was from Korea and Buddhist and her Father was an American Jew. Her parents met, married, and lived in Korea, where Angela and her sister were born. Several years later, her mother thinks it’s best they move to the United States since children of a Korean and American were looked down upon. Yet, Angela always felt a deep infinitely to Judaism and identified as a Jew her entire life. So, began her journey.
She has such a wonderful way of looking at the world and her role in it and as a Rabbi. There is not one religion, one idea, one way that is exclusively right. She conveys the meaning of being a Reformed Jewish Rabbi, yet acknowledging this role is always a work in progress. She makes mistakes, she thinks ideas of tradition and change through, she challenges the status quo, and thinks the goal is to always put others first. She is a humble person, serving to the best of her abilities.
Originally, heard Angela Buchdahl speak about this book on Buzz Books Non-Fiction Segment. Idea that being one, means we are all collectively part of the world and inter-connected. Instead, of making you feel alone, it reminds you of how you matter as each and every creature does as well.
Love: Think about True Patience. It’s Noticing who might be carrying a burden and taking some of the weight. We Remind them that they are not sitting alone on the Bench.
The World needs more people like Pastor Angela Buchdahl. I loved reading this book and learned so much about perspective and taking a strong, yet gentle approach. It changed my heart.
Thank you NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books for granting me a copy of this book. I always leave reviews of books I read.
She has such a wonderful way of looking at the world and her role in it and as a Rabbi. There is not one religion, one idea, one way that is exclusively right. She conveys the meaning of being a Reformed Jewish Rabbi, yet acknowledging this role is always a work in progress. She makes mistakes, she thinks ideas of tradition and change through, she challenges the status quo, and thinks the goal is to always put others first. She is a humble person, serving to the best of her abilities.
Originally, heard Angela Buchdahl speak about this book on Buzz Books Non-Fiction Segment. Idea that being one, means we are all collectively part of the world and inter-connected. Instead, of making you feel alone, it reminds you of how you matter as each and every creature does as well.
Love: Think about True Patience. It’s Noticing who might be carrying a burden and taking some of the weight. We Remind them that they are not sitting alone on the Bench.
The World needs more people like Pastor Angela Buchdahl. I loved reading this book and learned so much about perspective and taking a strong, yet gentle approach. It changed my heart.
Thank you NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books for granting me a copy of this book. I always leave reviews of books I read.
January 15, 2026
LOVED this audiobook! I had never heard of Rabbi Buchdahl and I loved hearing her atypical story. I liked the songs that were spruced into the audiobook and I really enjoyed how she talked about reform judaism. I resonated with a lot of her feelings. I am definitely inclined to visit Central Synagogue next time I'm in New York.
December 19, 2025
Listened to audio as author is also a cantor and sings throughout. Amazing, thought-provoking and while I listened to the audio version, I will purchase the book so I can reread passages. Yes. It was THAT terrific.
October 30, 2025
Quite simply I loved this book. While I was not born in Korea, so much of this book resonated on almost every page. I like her storytelling style and her teaching style. At the end of each chapter she introduces a core concept of Judaism and how it relates.
Rabbi Cantor Angla Buchdahl is not the head of Central Synagogue in New York, one of the largest synagogues in the world. She was an unlikely candidate. Born in Korea to a Korean mother and a Jewish father serving in the US military, she moved to Tacoma, WA when she was five. Always in an inside/outside paradigm, she wrestles with whether others see her as Jewish, or even whether she herself does. What it means to go from Tacoma, a small Jewish community to Yale and then New York. What it means to want to be a rabbi or even if she feels called, how to blend her Korean and Jewish ancestry into her own authentic voice, She addresses some really hard topics (as if those are not enough): what it is like to be a woman in the pulpit, whether women can "have it all," the pandemic, rising anti-semitism, getting a phone call on Shabbat afternoon from a terrorist in TX (I remember that day!) and October 7th. She does all of this with her signature humor and humility.
There is a real reason that this rabbi is always ranked on lists of the top 50 rabbis in the country. Read it and feel good, even if the topic is difficult.
Rabbi Cantor Angla Buchdahl is not the head of Central Synagogue in New York, one of the largest synagogues in the world. She was an unlikely candidate. Born in Korea to a Korean mother and a Jewish father serving in the US military, she moved to Tacoma, WA when she was five. Always in an inside/outside paradigm, she wrestles with whether others see her as Jewish, or even whether she herself does. What it means to go from Tacoma, a small Jewish community to Yale and then New York. What it means to want to be a rabbi or even if she feels called, how to blend her Korean and Jewish ancestry into her own authentic voice, She addresses some really hard topics (as if those are not enough): what it is like to be a woman in the pulpit, whether women can "have it all," the pandemic, rising anti-semitism, getting a phone call on Shabbat afternoon from a terrorist in TX (I remember that day!) and October 7th. She does all of this with her signature humor and humility.
There is a real reason that this rabbi is always ranked on lists of the top 50 rabbis in the country. Read it and feel good, even if the topic is difficult.
November 22, 2025
I LOVED this book - it was wise, thought-provoking, and inspiring. I highly recommend the audiobook which included her lovely singing.
September 22, 2025
Angela Buchdahl writes Heart of a Stranger; Angela is the child of a Korean/Buddhist mother and a Jewish father. Raised in the US after the age of five near her father’s family gave her exposure to Judaism and a wonderful community. Judaism and the Rabbinate was her life’s calling and she is now the senior Rabbi at Central Synagogue in New York. She also trained as a Cantor and I had no understanding or appreciation of what that meant so I looked up videos of her singing Kol Nidre and it is astoundingly beautiful… go listen… now. The author shares her life journey openly and vulnerably at many points. The challenges faced because she does not appear Jewish and many other situations she found herself in. I picked the book up primarily because I hoped that she would cover rabbinical training in detail however, she does not but the book is so beautiful and I was so glad I had the opportunity to read it.
#HeartOfAStrager #NetGalley
#HeartOfAStrager #NetGalley
November 17, 2025
Anything I write will diminish how much I thought about “Heart of a Stranger”. Inspirational
October 1, 2025
Excellent! I usually avoid rating memoirs because they’re so personal that anything less than five stars feels unfair. But this book is an exception—it genuinely earns its five stars. It is beautifully written and deeply thoughtful, offering not only her unique journey to the Rabbinate but also plenty to reflect on. I highly recommend it.
Thank you to netgalley for providing me with an early release in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Thank you to netgalley for providing me with an early release in exchange for a fair and honest review.
November 10, 2025
Non-Fiction November '25 - Book 5
A wonderfully written memoir.
As I read, I would think 'I cant wait to review', 'I cant wait to hand it to my library patrons'.
As you read, Rabbi Buchdahl takes you thru moments joy, nervousness, and sadness. You might, like me, even experience anger.
A wonderfully written memoir.
As I read, I would think 'I cant wait to review', 'I cant wait to hand it to my library patrons'.
As you read, Rabbi Buchdahl takes you thru moments joy, nervousness, and sadness. You might, like me, even experience anger.
October 23, 2025
Rabbi Angela Buchdahl tells her story in such a heartfelt non pretentious manner. This is definitely a book that I will turn to again when I need words of support or encouragement.
October 29, 2025
I highly recommend listening to this book via audiobook. To hear this story told by Rabbi Angela herself was AMAZING! I loved the snippets of singing throughout.
December 24, 2025
Many people today don’t know that at one time, Jews actively sought out and encouraged conversion to Judaism and were quite successful. Granted, it’s been over 1500 years since then. In 407 the Roman Empire started a trend by making conversion to Judaism punishable by death for the convert and those who welcomed them, an attitude that remained popular in the Christian and Islamic worlds for so long that it became internalized among Jews that while we are commanded to welcome the stranger, they can’t be considered one of us. As an exiled people, our lives and safety depended on being an insular people in the land of others.
This historical necessity runs into the contemporary American melting pot (or mixed salad; choose your metaphor) in the life story of Angela Buchdahl. Born to an Ashkenazi father and a Korean mother who practices Buddhism, she grows up in Tacoma, Washington, her interfaith family welcomed in the small Jewish community and its Reform synagogue. From an early age she has a passion for God and for Judaism and is encouraged by her hometown rabbi to consider becoming a rabbi. Her path is beset by episodes of self-doubt and feelings of not belonging, as the ingrained insularity and traditions, translated into halacha (Jewish law), of the Jewish world at large, interacts with her unique biography. Yet what could be more Jewish than feeling like a stranger?
Becoming the first Asian-American rabbi and first woman to lead Manhattan’s famous Central Synagogue, Buchdahl has had an extraordinarily successful career and a perch from which to now look back and share her journey and the lessons learned. It is for anyone who has ever grappled with feeling like an outsider even while seeming to be on the inside, which is likely most of us.
She writes about her very particular experience being a patrilineal Korean-American Jew sometimes not even accepted as a Jew by people in the Jewish community, and about her widely shared experience of shock and betrayal in the aftermath of the slaughter of October 7, when we discovered that Western liberals/progressives, whom most of us considered ourselves a part of, do not include the Jewish people among the groups of targeted people they are willing to stand up for. These challenges to one’s self-identity hurt, and strike deep.
Following each chapter of her biography she includes a couple pages of d’var Torah related to a theme present in the episode of her life she has just recounted. Rabbi Buchdahl, on the bimah.
This historical necessity runs into the contemporary American melting pot (or mixed salad; choose your metaphor) in the life story of Angela Buchdahl. Born to an Ashkenazi father and a Korean mother who practices Buddhism, she grows up in Tacoma, Washington, her interfaith family welcomed in the small Jewish community and its Reform synagogue. From an early age she has a passion for God and for Judaism and is encouraged by her hometown rabbi to consider becoming a rabbi. Her path is beset by episodes of self-doubt and feelings of not belonging, as the ingrained insularity and traditions, translated into halacha (Jewish law), of the Jewish world at large, interacts with her unique biography. Yet what could be more Jewish than feeling like a stranger?
Becoming the first Asian-American rabbi and first woman to lead Manhattan’s famous Central Synagogue, Buchdahl has had an extraordinarily successful career and a perch from which to now look back and share her journey and the lessons learned. It is for anyone who has ever grappled with feeling like an outsider even while seeming to be on the inside, which is likely most of us.
She writes about her very particular experience being a patrilineal Korean-American Jew sometimes not even accepted as a Jew by people in the Jewish community, and about her widely shared experience of shock and betrayal in the aftermath of the slaughter of October 7, when we discovered that Western liberals/progressives, whom most of us considered ourselves a part of, do not include the Jewish people among the groups of targeted people they are willing to stand up for. These challenges to one’s self-identity hurt, and strike deep.
Following each chapter of her biography she includes a couple pages of d’var Torah related to a theme present in the episode of her life she has just recounted. Rabbi Buchdahl, on the bimah.
January 5, 2026
I read it for my Temple Book Club and initially I found the book to be simplistic/ formulaic. Rabbi Buchdahl is a celebrity Rabbi; head Rabbi of one of the largest Jewish congregations in the world; her mom is a Korean and she looks Korean. Think about that - being one of the most prominent Rabbis in our country while looking Korean - yes, that is a book unto itself. But if you read this book and give it the attention it deserves, you will thoroughly understand how Rabbi Buchdahl became such an important Rabbi despite not “looking Jewish”. Of greater import, you will be uplifted, educated, and inspired. Rabbi B can tell you what you already know but after she explains it - your old knowledge is expanded, deepened and highlighted. So yes, initially I thought the book was simplistic, but I was wrong. I was reading “wrong”. After I slowed down and gave myself to the book, the book gave me so much in return.
I recommend you read this book. I plan to reread it soon.
I recommend you read this book. I plan to reread it soon.
October 15, 2025
The author of this memoir was born in Korea to a Korean mother and a Jewish father, before her family moved back to Washington state where she became fully enmeshed in Jewish life. Fast forward, and she became not just the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi, but then eventually the head rabbi of NYC’s Central Synagogue, one of the largest and most famous synagogues in the world. This book is a fascinating memoir of her life, with each chapter followed by a d’var Torah reflecting on a Hebrew word or theme.
I belong to a wonderful synagogue with a wonderful rabbi, but even we sometimes watch Central Synagogue’s services on tv on the JBS network or on YouTube, whether because we can’t make it in person (I think we first discovered it during the pandemic) or just want a little more Jewish content. So when I heard that Rabbi Buchdal was publishing a memoir, I really wanted to read it because I think she’s a wonderful speaker. And indeed, it was a great book - and even better on audio where she occasionally sings a bit of a prayer or Jewish song. Her life experience as someone who no one ever believed she was Jewish because of her appearance was fascinating, and loved her wise thoughts on Judaism as well. Highly recommend this one to all my Jewish friends, and also to non-Jewish readers interested in both an interesting life story and further insight into what it means to be a Reform Jew.
4.25 stars
Thanks to the publisher for an e-ARC and to Penguin Random House Audio for an e-ALC (out 10/21/25); all opinions are my own.
I belong to a wonderful synagogue with a wonderful rabbi, but even we sometimes watch Central Synagogue’s services on tv on the JBS network or on YouTube, whether because we can’t make it in person (I think we first discovered it during the pandemic) or just want a little more Jewish content. So when I heard that Rabbi Buchdal was publishing a memoir, I really wanted to read it because I think she’s a wonderful speaker. And indeed, it was a great book - and even better on audio where she occasionally sings a bit of a prayer or Jewish song. Her life experience as someone who no one ever believed she was Jewish because of her appearance was fascinating, and loved her wise thoughts on Judaism as well. Highly recommend this one to all my Jewish friends, and also to non-Jewish readers interested in both an interesting life story and further insight into what it means to be a Reform Jew.
4.25 stars
Thanks to the publisher for an e-ARC and to Penguin Random House Audio for an e-ALC (out 10/21/25); all opinions are my own.
January 12, 2026
A beautiful book that touched my heart . I loved the Jewish principles at the end of each chapter. I learned so much and this book has inspired me in many ways .
January 23, 2026
It is hard to describe what a profound effect this book had on me. I was expecting an interesting biography of an out of the ordinary woman who happens to be a Rabbi, I was not expecting to be so spiritually moved by her journey and her perspective on religion in general, but specifically Judaism and being Jewish. This is a book for people who say “who needs religion,” or “I don’t believe in G-d,” as she views religion as a spiritual practice and a living, breathing, evolving thing that can give us a guide how to treat ourselves and others (family, friends, and specifically strangers) in the kindest, most humane and healing way. More of this please!
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