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I'll Quit When I'm Dead
In this page-turning, provocative horror novel, two desperate souls attempt to turn their lives around, with nightmarish consequences if they fail.
Madison has seen better days. Reeling from a bad breakup, self-soothing with junk food, and totally consumed by her lack of direction, she’s in need of a big reset. When she runs into an old acquaintance at the gym, Madison is shocked by how fit they’ve suddenly become. The cause? An all-female fitness boot camp led by ex-military guru Ellie Fellowes. The course is characterized by grueling reps and minimal contact with the outside world, and when Madison signs up to experience it herself, something doesn’t feel right. The other students keep acting strangely; Ellie seems almost superhuman, and her intense motivational methods are becoming bizarre, even dangerous. But Madison is getting results. How can she stop now?
Musician Johnny Blake has been struggling with a pain pill addiction after a very public, very bad fall. At the encouragement of loved ones, he retreats to a secluded cottage to detox. But Johnny isn’t alone. Something is lurking in the shadows of his new home—a creature unnatural and hungry, one that traps Johnny in a frightening bargain. If Johnny doesn’t stay off his pills and keep his end of the deal, he will be eaten alive.
As Madison and Johnny’s predicaments spiral into the unthinkable, they will have to look within to find the true and terrifying answer to the age-old How badly do you want it?
Nerve-shredding and compulsively readable, I’ll Quit When I’m Dead marks Luke Smitherd as a major voice in horror to watch.
Madison has seen better days. Reeling from a bad breakup, self-soothing with junk food, and totally consumed by her lack of direction, she’s in need of a big reset. When she runs into an old acquaintance at the gym, Madison is shocked by how fit they’ve suddenly become. The cause? An all-female fitness boot camp led by ex-military guru Ellie Fellowes. The course is characterized by grueling reps and minimal contact with the outside world, and when Madison signs up to experience it herself, something doesn’t feel right. The other students keep acting strangely; Ellie seems almost superhuman, and her intense motivational methods are becoming bizarre, even dangerous. But Madison is getting results. How can she stop now?
Musician Johnny Blake has been struggling with a pain pill addiction after a very public, very bad fall. At the encouragement of loved ones, he retreats to a secluded cottage to detox. But Johnny isn’t alone. Something is lurking in the shadows of his new home—a creature unnatural and hungry, one that traps Johnny in a frightening bargain. If Johnny doesn’t stay off his pills and keep his end of the deal, he will be eaten alive.
As Madison and Johnny’s predicaments spiral into the unthinkable, they will have to look within to find the true and terrifying answer to the age-old How badly do you want it?
Nerve-shredding and compulsively readable, I’ll Quit When I’m Dead marks Luke Smitherd as a major voice in horror to watch.
384 pages, Hardcover
First published October 14, 2025
35 people are currently reading
10044 people want to read
About the author
Luke Smitherd
32 books589 followersLuke Smitherd is the author of The Stone Man (shortlisted for Audible Book of the Year 2015) and its sequels as well as several other novels. A former singer and guitarist, he now writes full time, hosts the comedy music-discussion show Cracker Juice, and performs around Los Angeles as a stand-up comic. He divides his time between the United States and the United Kingdom.
www.lukesmitherd.com
www.lukesmitherd.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
June 23, 2025
OMG! OMG! OMG! This book is an absolute hidden gem and a terrifyingly brilliant surprise that had me gripping the pages in sheer suspense! The psychological horror elements tap into the kind of deep, unsettling fears we don’t even realize we have, making for a story that lingers long after the final page. Madison and Johnny are two of the most flawed yet incredibly real characters I’ve read in a long time—both struggling in ways that make them painfully relatable, yet impossible to look away from.
Madison’s journey into the world of a grueling fitness boot camp starts off as a chance at reinvention, but quickly warps into something far more sinister. The eerie atmosphere, the cult-like mentality of the program, and the slow, creeping realization that something is very, very wrong had me on edge the entire time. Meanwhile, Johnny’s battle with addiction takes a horrifying turn as he’s forced into a nightmarish deal that preys on his every weakness. His desperation, the suffocating isolation, and the terrifying presence in his secluded retreat create a tense, claustrophobic dread that only intensifies as the story unfolds.
What makes this book truly exceptional is how it blends psychological torment with outright horror, making you question what’s real, what’s imagined, and just how far someone will go when backed into a corner. The pacing is relentless, the tension is razor-sharp, and the twists are both unexpected and utterly chilling. I won’t spoil how it all comes together, but let’s just say—this book is a ride you won’t see coming.
If you’re a fan of stories that shake you to your core and keep you up at night, this is a must-read. A massive thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company | Mulholland Books for providing me with a digital reviewer copy of this incredibly unique and deeply unsettling novel. You won’t want to miss this one!
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Madison’s journey into the world of a grueling fitness boot camp starts off as a chance at reinvention, but quickly warps into something far more sinister. The eerie atmosphere, the cult-like mentality of the program, and the slow, creeping realization that something is very, very wrong had me on edge the entire time. Meanwhile, Johnny’s battle with addiction takes a horrifying turn as he’s forced into a nightmarish deal that preys on his every weakness. His desperation, the suffocating isolation, and the terrifying presence in his secluded retreat create a tense, claustrophobic dread that only intensifies as the story unfolds.
What makes this book truly exceptional is how it blends psychological torment with outright horror, making you question what’s real, what’s imagined, and just how far someone will go when backed into a corner. The pacing is relentless, the tension is razor-sharp, and the twists are both unexpected and utterly chilling. I won’t spoil how it all comes together, but let’s just say—this book is a ride you won’t see coming.
If you’re a fan of stories that shake you to your core and keep you up at night, this is a must-read. A massive thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company | Mulholland Books for providing me with a digital reviewer copy of this incredibly unique and deeply unsettling novel. You won’t want to miss this one!
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May 21, 2025
I have absolutely no idea how to rate or review this book. It's well-written and the premise is original and intriguing, and for once I don't think that the blurb calling the author a “major voice in horror to watch” is exaggerating. I'd happily read more of his books (depending on the subject matter) and I hope that this one does extremely well.
At the same time, however, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead is just not my type of horror at all. Madison's timeline in particular was rough for me. It started out super interesting and I was so curious as to where things were headed, but I have a really hard time with the whole “awful manipulative person does awful manipulative person things under the guise of being helpful” type of horror, and I also don't really like realistic violence in my novels. Slasher reads? Eh, whatever, they don't bother me at all. Even gore is fine. But the abusive violence that takes place in this book? Can't do it. I mean, I suppose I did do it and I read the entire thing, but I was super uncomfortable the whole time. Also, Madison is kind of dumb and there's an animal death.
Johnny's timeline, on the other hand, focuses more on the supernatural side of horror. There's a boggart and it's very, very creepy. It's an unsettling juxtaposition going back and forth between “an evil creature wants to eat you” and “whatever-in-the-Mommie-Dearest Madison's timeline is,” but I did think that the way the two timelines eventually converge is quite original and clever.
Trigger warnings include: violence, abuse (both psychological and physical), animal death, addiction, and, um, boggarts?
My overall rating? Let's say 4.25 stars for the writing, 2 stars for Madison's timeline and 3.4 stars for Johnny's. If I can math (and I often can't so take this rating with a grain of salt), that gives us 3.22 stars, rounded down. Seems fair.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Mulholland Books for providing me with an advance copy of this book to review. Its expected publication date is October 14, 2025.
At the same time, however, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead is just not my type of horror at all. Madison's timeline in particular was rough for me. It started out super interesting and I was so curious as to where things were headed, but I have a really hard time with the whole “awful manipulative person does awful manipulative person things under the guise of being helpful” type of horror, and I also don't really like realistic violence in my novels. Slasher reads? Eh, whatever, they don't bother me at all. Even gore is fine. But the abusive violence that takes place in this book? Can't do it. I mean, I suppose I did do it and I read the entire thing, but I was super uncomfortable the whole time. Also, Madison is kind of dumb and there's an animal death.
Johnny's timeline, on the other hand, focuses more on the supernatural side of horror. There's a boggart and it's very, very creepy. It's an unsettling juxtaposition going back and forth between “an evil creature wants to eat you” and “whatever-in-the-Mommie-Dearest Madison's timeline is,” but I did think that the way the two timelines eventually converge is quite original and clever.
Trigger warnings include: violence, abuse (both psychological and physical), animal death, addiction, and, um, boggarts?
My overall rating? Let's say 4.25 stars for the writing, 2 stars for Madison's timeline and 3.4 stars for Johnny's. If I can math (and I often can't so take this rating with a grain of salt), that gives us 3.22 stars, rounded down. Seems fair.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Mulholland Books for providing me with an advance copy of this book to review. Its expected publication date is October 14, 2025.
April 23, 2025
ARC for review. To be published October 14, 2025.
3 stars, but torn. Definitely 3.5 stars for Madison’s story, 1 star for Johnny’s.
Madison has been through a big breakup, she is eating her feelings (hey, I’m doing that right now! Cheers, Madison!) and she needs to get her life back on track. She runs into an old friend at the gym and can’t believe her transformation. The friend tells her about an all-women bootcamp led by Ellie Fellowes. Now, allow me to say, I did one of these all-women boot camps for awhile. At 5 a.m. That’s in the morning. I was practically the worst one there; these girls ran marathons on the weekends. I was never coordinated enough to do burpees. I was such a failure. But I digress.
Ellie’s military-style group is extremely intense and allows almost no contact with the outside world. Madison signs up and heads for Vermont. It feels weird, Ellie seems too powerful and the other students are acting strangely. But it’s working.
Meanwhile, Johnny Blake is a musician who has been struggling with addiction. He heads to a cottage to do a detox, but something is lurking there….and it is going to eat Johnny if he doesn’t stay sober.
So, these are two completely different stories with only the thinnest nexus (you’ll know it, but it doesn’t really matter.) I really enjoyed Madison’s story, but, boy, did I loathe Johnny. Hated every action he took and every thought he thunk. Ugh. Made this one hard to rate overall.
3 stars, but torn. Definitely 3.5 stars for Madison’s story, 1 star for Johnny’s.
Madison has been through a big breakup, she is eating her feelings (hey, I’m doing that right now! Cheers, Madison!) and she needs to get her life back on track. She runs into an old friend at the gym and can’t believe her transformation. The friend tells her about an all-women bootcamp led by Ellie Fellowes. Now, allow me to say, I did one of these all-women boot camps for awhile. At 5 a.m. That’s in the morning. I was practically the worst one there; these girls ran marathons on the weekends. I was never coordinated enough to do burpees. I was such a failure. But I digress.
Ellie’s military-style group is extremely intense and allows almost no contact with the outside world. Madison signs up and heads for Vermont. It feels weird, Ellie seems too powerful and the other students are acting strangely. But it’s working.
Meanwhile, Johnny Blake is a musician who has been struggling with addiction. He heads to a cottage to do a detox, but something is lurking there….and it is going to eat Johnny if he doesn’t stay sober.
So, these are two completely different stories with only the thinnest nexus (you’ll know it, but it doesn’t really matter.) I really enjoyed Madison’s story, but, boy, did I loathe Johnny. Hated every action he took and every thought he thunk. Ugh. Made this one hard to rate overall.
June 5, 2025
This book is publishing in October just in time for spooky season. This was a fun read for me, I thought it was intriguing from the synopsis and was thrilled when I received the approval. Thank you NetGalley and Mulholland Books for the eARC in exchange for my review.
The story follows two main characters, Johnny and Madison who are both struggling with their own monsters/personal demons. This book is more psychological horror then anything with some some supernatural elements and body horror. Honestly this book was completely unpredictable in the best possible way and I ate it up. Such a fun read!!
The story follows two main characters, Johnny and Madison who are both struggling with their own monsters/personal demons. This book is more psychological horror then anything with some some supernatural elements and body horror. Honestly this book was completely unpredictable in the best possible way and I ate it up. Such a fun read!!
June 23, 2025
I just want to give a shout out to the person I follow on instagram who posted this book in her upcoming book releases to watch out for list! The cover caught my eye and I was lucky enough to snag a gifted copy on netgalley, and I ended up really enjoying it! I wish I could remember your name but thank you anyway 😆🙏🏻
This is my first book by this author and definitely won’t be the last!
“I’ll quit when I’m dead” is a masterpiece of Psychogical horror, there are elements in the story that really get under your skin with their realism and psychological components and it’s definitely one that sticks with you long after you’ve finished reading.
Expect to be up all night unable to put the book down but I do recommend keeping on your lights after dark because it gets super creepy 😆😆
Thank you to Luke Smitherd, Mulholland books and little brown and company for the arc!
Publishes: October 14th for spooky season
This is my first book by this author and definitely won’t be the last!
“I’ll quit when I’m dead” is a masterpiece of Psychogical horror, there are elements in the story that really get under your skin with their realism and psychological components and it’s definitely one that sticks with you long after you’ve finished reading.
Expect to be up all night unable to put the book down but I do recommend keeping on your lights after dark because it gets super creepy 😆😆
Thank you to Luke Smitherd, Mulholland books and little brown and company for the arc!
Publishes: October 14th for spooky season
October 1, 2025
2.5 🌟
This book was very well written but the direction of the story was very weird. This book had two completely different stories. One story was supernatural, featuring a man unknowingly making a deal with a Boggart. If Johnny, who is an addict, takes painkillers ever again then he will be consumed by the Boggart. His storyline twists into something incredibly unsatisfying.
The other storyline follows Madison who joins a weird boot camp to become a better self but it turns into just straight up abuse.
The very last sentence shows you how their lives are intertwined but if you blink you’ll miss it, however it doesn’t matter because it’s meaningless. Pretty disappointed with this story taking into consideration how invested I was in the first half.
This book was very well written but the direction of the story was very weird. This book had two completely different stories. One story was supernatural, featuring a man unknowingly making a deal with a Boggart. If Johnny, who is an addict, takes painkillers ever again then he will be consumed by the Boggart. His storyline twists into something incredibly unsatisfying.
The other storyline follows Madison who joins a weird boot camp to become a better self but it turns into just straight up abuse.
The very last sentence shows you how their lives are intertwined but if you blink you’ll miss it, however it doesn’t matter because it’s meaningless. Pretty disappointed with this story taking into consideration how invested I was in the first half.
October 15, 2025
This book was definitely a page turner. It was addicting, I had to keep reading and didn’t want to put it down. I had to know what was coming next. A perfect book for spooky season. There were a few times I had to stop reading at night 😅. We get two stories in one book! I loved going back and forth from the POV of Madison to Johnny. Enjoyed this one! Thank you to NetGalley, Mulholland Books, Little Brown and Company and Luke Smithers for an eARC of this book! My first read from this author and definitely won’t be my last!
April 4, 2025
“I’ll Quit When I’m Dead” was a really great horror fictional book! It also gave major psychological thriller vibes! This book was hard to put down and got me on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. This was the first book that I have read by the author. The characters Johnny and Madison both struggle in completely different ways, yet both of them are equally understandable and relatable. Not only is this book mind boggling, it also comes with a dash of dark humor in it as well. These characters had a lot of depth to them!
This book is about Johnny struggling with drug addiction and Madison struggling with depression. These characters felt very real to me and I honestly cared about them and felt what all they were going through while reading this! It is captivating, thought provoking and had balanced perspectives! Be sure to read the trigger warnings before reading this. If you love a good psychological thriller horror book, this one is for you! Overall, I give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley, author Luke Smitherd and Little, Brown and Company | Mulholland Books for this digital advanced reader’s copy in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
This book is expected to be published on October 14, 2025!
This book is about Johnny struggling with drug addiction and Madison struggling with depression. These characters felt very real to me and I honestly cared about them and felt what all they were going through while reading this! It is captivating, thought provoking and had balanced perspectives! Be sure to read the trigger warnings before reading this. If you love a good psychological thriller horror book, this one is for you! Overall, I give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley, author Luke Smitherd and Little, Brown and Company | Mulholland Books for this digital advanced reader’s copy in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
This book is expected to be published on October 14, 2025!
October 11, 2025
3.5 stars. This book is doing like 25% too much, but also it's one of the more interesting horror novels I've read in a long time. It's certainly doing its own thing, and I have to give it a lot of credit when so much horror these days feels repetitive. I love a book that is unexpected, and for so much of the time that's exactly what we have here.
At first I was drawn in by the stark differences between these two plots. What on earth do Madison and Johnny have in common? Why are these stories connected? For a while we get a kind of explanation, though one that doesn't entirely fit, but ultimately this works out. (I wish the way it all ties together had a bit more emotional oomph, it gets a bit lost in the too much of the Madison story climax, but I'll get to that.) The contrast of the stories is part of what keeps this a page turner. I was always ready to go back to one after a chapter of the other, to go from Madison's real world to Johnny's bizarre alternate universe. Even when it is just two different things stitched together, it somehow works.
But the hardest thing about this approach is when your two stories start to get out of sync. There's some really fantastic turns in Johnny's story, the worldbuilding and the slow roll and the fantastic monsters are all so well done. There's several excellent turns of the plot, but it loses steam near the end. Meanwhile, Madison's story which is supposed to be in the real world always feels a little bananas, you can't think too hard about it, and while I get what he's going for in how you don't know what is real or who to trust, it just doesn't land. The pacing of Madison's story is great, just increasing the tension at a steady clip, but I was well past no longer buying it by the big finish.
Luckily we get a nice bow tied at the end that actually did work, a rarity in horror.
There are some clunky sections here, some places where movement through time could have been handled more smoothly or exposition gets too obvious. Just a few times where I think the way the story is told could have been better with some different perspectives or more efficiency. But Smitherd is clearly someone with really interesting ideas. And it's hard to write a story like Johnny's about addiction that doesn't feel like it's just hitting you on the head with its themes. Somehow Johnny's story here is straightforward but the addiction piece feels like just a part of a larger whole, which saves it.
Certainly a worthwhile read and one I enjoyed a lot.
At first I was drawn in by the stark differences between these two plots. What on earth do Madison and Johnny have in common? Why are these stories connected? For a while we get a kind of explanation, though one that doesn't entirely fit, but ultimately this works out. (I wish the way it all ties together had a bit more emotional oomph, it gets a bit lost in the too much of the Madison story climax, but I'll get to that.) The contrast of the stories is part of what keeps this a page turner. I was always ready to go back to one after a chapter of the other, to go from Madison's real world to Johnny's bizarre alternate universe. Even when it is just two different things stitched together, it somehow works.
But the hardest thing about this approach is when your two stories start to get out of sync. There's some really fantastic turns in Johnny's story, the worldbuilding and the slow roll and the fantastic monsters are all so well done. There's several excellent turns of the plot, but it loses steam near the end. Meanwhile, Madison's story which is supposed to be in the real world always feels a little bananas, you can't think too hard about it, and while I get what he's going for in how you don't know what is real or who to trust, it just doesn't land. The pacing of Madison's story is great, just increasing the tension at a steady clip, but I was well past no longer buying it by the big finish.
Luckily we get a nice bow tied at the end that actually did work, a rarity in horror.
There are some clunky sections here, some places where movement through time could have been handled more smoothly or exposition gets too obvious. Just a few times where I think the way the story is told could have been better with some different perspectives or more efficiency. But Smitherd is clearly someone with really interesting ideas. And it's hard to write a story like Johnny's about addiction that doesn't feel like it's just hitting you on the head with its themes. Somehow Johnny's story here is straightforward but the addiction piece feels like just a part of a larger whole, which saves it.
Certainly a worthwhile read and one I enjoyed a lot.
October 15, 2025
Well shit,
This one hit a little deeper for me. I know addiction. I know detox. And that made this story all the more chilling ... because beneath the horror, there’s a raw, uncomfortable truth about the lengths people will go just to feel “okay” again.
The book follows Madison, trying to rebuild her life after a brutal breakup, and Johnny, a musician battling pain pill addiction. Two lives falling apart, two desperate attempts to claw back control ....and both lead straight into darkness. Madison joins a boot camp that feels more cult than gym, and Johnny’s stuck in a cabin with something lurking in the shadows, waiting for him to slip.
Luke Smitherd nails that creeping dread. The horror isn’t just monsters ...it’s obsession, compulsion, and the voices that whisper one more time won’t hurt. It’s sharp, psychological, and uncomfortably real.
thriller tension, the layered characters, and how it captures that brutal inner war between wanting to quit and wanting relief. Creepy, smart, and way too relatable.
Thank you so so much @lukesmitherdyall @mulhollandbooks & @littlebrown for this #gifted copy! I have to put this as one of my top books this year for multiple reasons! Thank you!
This one hit a little deeper for me. I know addiction. I know detox. And that made this story all the more chilling ... because beneath the horror, there’s a raw, uncomfortable truth about the lengths people will go just to feel “okay” again.
The book follows Madison, trying to rebuild her life after a brutal breakup, and Johnny, a musician battling pain pill addiction. Two lives falling apart, two desperate attempts to claw back control ....and both lead straight into darkness. Madison joins a boot camp that feels more cult than gym, and Johnny’s stuck in a cabin with something lurking in the shadows, waiting for him to slip.
Luke Smitherd nails that creeping dread. The horror isn’t just monsters ...it’s obsession, compulsion, and the voices that whisper one more time won’t hurt. It’s sharp, psychological, and uncomfortably real.
thriller tension, the layered characters, and how it captures that brutal inner war between wanting to quit and wanting relief. Creepy, smart, and way too relatable.
Thank you so so much @lukesmitherdyall @mulhollandbooks & @littlebrown for this #gifted copy! I have to put this as one of my top books this year for multiple reasons! Thank you!
October 11, 2025
Madison is feeling lost, with no sense of purpose or control over her life. She wants to be stronger, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. It is for this reason she commits herself to a month-long course of strenuous activities with the risk of harsh punishments if she fails to complete the assigned tasks.
"With your permission, I'd like to slap you in the face."
Johnny became addicted to painkillers after an injury. Rather than go to rehab, he plans to detox in a secluded cottage owned by a friend who wants to help him. But this is no ordinary cottage. It lies in a thin place, where monstrous beings can and do easily slip through.
"Don't go into the shallows alone."
This psychological and supernatural horror is told from two points of view in separate plotlines that at first appear to have nothing to do with each other, but eventually converge in an ingenious way.
Chapters switch back and forth, from Johnny's supernatural alternate universe terror, to Madison's almost cult like situation with a small group of women that gets smaller and smaller as the activities they are forced to complete go from difficult, to dangerous, to deadly.
All in all this was a suspenseful and well written plot but I found it harder to relate to Johnny's reasoning than Madison's. Madison was in a fragile state and saw an acquaintance who had amazing results with this month-long course, which made her want to try it too. Johnny wanted to kick his drug addiction so badly, yet made the weird decision to skip proven rehab methods in order to force the supernatural aspects of the book.
For the majority of the time, this felt like reading two different books at once. I was more invested in Madison's story than Johnny's. I was probably at the halfway mark before I figured out how they were connected, which I thought was very clever because I usually figure these things out way too soon.
My thanks to Mulholland Books.
"With your permission, I'd like to slap you in the face."
Johnny became addicted to painkillers after an injury. Rather than go to rehab, he plans to detox in a secluded cottage owned by a friend who wants to help him. But this is no ordinary cottage. It lies in a thin place, where monstrous beings can and do easily slip through.
"Don't go into the shallows alone."
This psychological and supernatural horror is told from two points of view in separate plotlines that at first appear to have nothing to do with each other, but eventually converge in an ingenious way.
Chapters switch back and forth, from Johnny's supernatural alternate universe terror, to Madison's almost cult like situation with a small group of women that gets smaller and smaller as the activities they are forced to complete go from difficult, to dangerous, to deadly.
All in all this was a suspenseful and well written plot but I found it harder to relate to Johnny's reasoning than Madison's. Madison was in a fragile state and saw an acquaintance who had amazing results with this month-long course, which made her want to try it too. Johnny wanted to kick his drug addiction so badly, yet made the weird decision to skip proven rehab methods in order to force the supernatural aspects of the book.
For the majority of the time, this felt like reading two different books at once. I was more invested in Madison's story than Johnny's. I was probably at the halfway mark before I figured out how they were connected, which I thought was very clever because I usually figure these things out way too soon.
My thanks to Mulholland Books.
October 15, 2025
This book pulled me right out of my reading slump. It was one of my most anticipated reads and it did not disappoint. I loved how the different storylines kept me hooked the entire time, and it was so fun seeing what each character was getting into. A perfect spooky season read!
October 11, 2025
Dit boek is echt perfect voor spooky season. Het boek bevat alles wat een spooky boek nodig heeft. Vanaf pagina 1 was ik al hooked en wou ik eigenlijk alleen nog maar verder lezen. Ik merkte dat ik zelf gedurende de dag nog aan het boek dacht.
Het boek bevat heftige onderwerpen, maar wel op een manier waardoor dat niet de overhand krijgt. Daardoor blijft het een spannende thriller, inplaats van een emotioneel beladen boek.
Ook vond ik de combinatie monsters en een elite trainingskamp erg slim bedacht. Op het eerste gezich lijken het twee random verhalen, maar ze komen heel goed samen. Zelfs zo erg dat het einde me eigenlijk nog verbaasd achterliet.
Ook het langzaam kwijtraken van de realiteit werd enorm goed neergezet. Je zag bepaalde personages stukje voor stukje afbrokkelen, waardoor ik eerder doorhad dan de personages dat er iets misging. Dat wat er misging en hoe hevig dit ging gebeuren zag ik niet aankomen. Ook werd ik overladen met plot twists en dat zag ik ook echt niet aankomen. Heel knap gedaan.
Het boek bevat heftige onderwerpen, maar wel op een manier waardoor dat niet de overhand krijgt. Daardoor blijft het een spannende thriller, inplaats van een emotioneel beladen boek.
Ook vond ik de combinatie monsters en een elite trainingskamp erg slim bedacht. Op het eerste gezich lijken het twee random verhalen, maar ze komen heel goed samen. Zelfs zo erg dat het einde me eigenlijk nog verbaasd achterliet.
Ook het langzaam kwijtraken van de realiteit werd enorm goed neergezet. Je zag bepaalde personages stukje voor stukje afbrokkelen, waardoor ik eerder doorhad dan de personages dat er iets misging. Dat wat er misging en hoe hevig dit ging gebeuren zag ik niet aankomen. Ook werd ik overladen met plot twists en dat zag ik ook echt niet aankomen. Heel knap gedaan.
August 4, 2025
This was a pretty delicious dark thriller. It was also my first book by Smitherd. And it definitely will not be my last.
Creepy, underlying dread, supernatural monsters, and the ever-present frenemy. Two totally different characters are out to improve their lives, but forces beyond them, dark forces, just don't want them to succeed.
This was so gripping and intriguing. I was dying to find out how these two stories would converge. My one and only issue: long chapters. They made the story feel like it was longer than it was, which stole from the thrill and suspense.
Creepy, underlying dread, supernatural monsters, and the ever-present frenemy. Two totally different characters are out to improve their lives, but forces beyond them, dark forces, just don't want them to succeed.
This was so gripping and intriguing. I was dying to find out how these two stories would converge. My one and only issue: long chapters. They made the story feel like it was longer than it was, which stole from the thrill and suspense.
March 25, 2025
4.5 stars rounded up. I loved this book! It follows two storylines. One is realistic, the other is supernatural. However, both stories give a constant sense of dread and a feeling that something is wrong, then something really bad happens, then the dread continues until something even worse happens. I loved it. The tension was there the whole time. There was never a lighthearted, comfortable moment, because that feeling of something being off was always lingering. Both stories had exciting endings with twists. I was fully invested in the storylines. I can't even pick which one I liked better. The characters were believable and I cared what happened to them. The pacing of the book was good and never lost my interest. I highly recommend this book to anyone who likes horror. I've had another book from this author on my TBR for a while, and after reading this, I will definitely be bumping it up. Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 20, 2025
《4.5 ⭐️ rounded up to 5》
Madison just wanted a fresh start. After years of bad decisions, worse boyfriends, and a spiral of self-destruction, she signs up for an exclusive all female fitness retreat run by the charismatic ex-military trainer, Ellie Fellowes. The program promises total transformation of body, mind, and soul. But as Madison endures brutal workouts, sleepless nights, and strange rituals, she begins to suspect that Ellie's methods aren't just extreme... they're dangerous. And once you join the program, you don't simply walk away. Meanwhile, failed rockstar Johnny Blake is set to detox alone in a remote cottage, trying to kick his painkiller addiction and rebuild his life. But something is watching him. The hallucinations start small, a flicker of movement, a whisper in the dark, until he's forced to strike an impossible bargain with a force that knows every weakness he's ever had. Two people fighting for redemption, each haunted by their own demons, one physical, one supernatural, they find their path hurtling toward each other. Soon they each will discover salvation has a terrifying price.
I'll Quit When I'm Dead is the kind of book that grabs you by the throat and refuses to let go. Smitherd takes the obsession with "becoming your best self" and twists it into something terrifying. The dual stories of Madison's descent into a cult-like boot camp and Johnny's battle with his inner (and maybe not so inner) demons are equally addictive and chilling. It's part horror, part psychological thriller, and all razor edged commentary on the dark side of self-improvement. Disturbing, smart, and impossible to put down, this is a book that proves sometimes change really can kill you!
Thank you to NetGalley, Luke Smitherd, and Mulholland Books for both the eARC and physical copy! Publication date was October 14th, 2025.
Madison just wanted a fresh start. After years of bad decisions, worse boyfriends, and a spiral of self-destruction, she signs up for an exclusive all female fitness retreat run by the charismatic ex-military trainer, Ellie Fellowes. The program promises total transformation of body, mind, and soul. But as Madison endures brutal workouts, sleepless nights, and strange rituals, she begins to suspect that Ellie's methods aren't just extreme... they're dangerous. And once you join the program, you don't simply walk away. Meanwhile, failed rockstar Johnny Blake is set to detox alone in a remote cottage, trying to kick his painkiller addiction and rebuild his life. But something is watching him. The hallucinations start small, a flicker of movement, a whisper in the dark, until he's forced to strike an impossible bargain with a force that knows every weakness he's ever had. Two people fighting for redemption, each haunted by their own demons, one physical, one supernatural, they find their path hurtling toward each other. Soon they each will discover salvation has a terrifying price.
I'll Quit When I'm Dead is the kind of book that grabs you by the throat and refuses to let go. Smitherd takes the obsession with "becoming your best self" and twists it into something terrifying. The dual stories of Madison's descent into a cult-like boot camp and Johnny's battle with his inner (and maybe not so inner) demons are equally addictive and chilling. It's part horror, part psychological thriller, and all razor edged commentary on the dark side of self-improvement. Disturbing, smart, and impossible to put down, this is a book that proves sometimes change really can kill you!
Thank you to NetGalley, Luke Smitherd, and Mulholland Books for both the eARC and physical copy! Publication date was October 14th, 2025.
April 11, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company, Mulholland Books for an ARC of I'll Quit When I'm Dead.
First, I want to say that I absolutely LOVED Johnny's story. I was completely captivated (and terrified) by the amazing details and world building. If the entire book had been dedicated to a more complete telling of Johnny's journey it would have been an easy 5 star read for me. Madison's story, on the other hand, was honestly just pointless. Trying to connect their stories felt forced and unnatural. It's like the author had two, wildly different, half-finished story ideas and just shoved them together in an effort to publish a book. Ultimately, a memorable read but one that sadly did not achieve its full potential.
3.5 stars
First, I want to say that I absolutely LOVED Johnny's story. I was completely captivated (and terrified) by the amazing details and world building. If the entire book had been dedicated to a more complete telling of Johnny's journey it would have been an easy 5 star read for me. Madison's story, on the other hand, was honestly just pointless. Trying to connect their stories felt forced and unnatural. It's like the author had two, wildly different, half-finished story ideas and just shoved them together in an effort to publish a book. Ultimately, a memorable read but one that sadly did not achieve its full potential.
3.5 stars
Read
September 16, 2025Tried to read the ARC of this book that I won in a giveaway but the pages are so see-through I can’t read the words without getting sick.
Will pick it back up when I can get it on my kindle after release
Will pick it back up when I can get it on my kindle after release
October 20, 2025
I’m really not sure how to feel about this one overall. It felt like reading two different books simultaneously and even though they had the slightest of a connection, it was unsatisfying to me. I found Madison’s story interesting in the beginning but I did not like how it progressed. Johnnie’s story was just ok from start to finish. Overall it was not for me.
Thank you Hachette audio for the ALC.
Thank you Hachette audio for the ALC.
July 11, 2025
4.5
About three quarters of the way through this book I started mentally creating my review and it began with "While the connection between the two stories is revealed early on in the novel, I feel they would work better as two separate stories to be more fleshed out."
Oh, how wrong I was. Luke Smitherd, I will try to not doubt you in the future.
This novel seamlessly blends the two stories to their ends and has you caring about the characters as death seems to wait for them on each and every page. Madison is going through a tough time, she dropped out of college, went through a breakup, and is currently unemployed. She hears about an intensive workout class (think CrossFit Cult on steroids) from a friend at the gym, who returned from the month long intensive essentially a whole new person. Madison signs up, but as the class gets going and she learns more and more, and punishments become more extreme, she wonders just how far she is truly willing to go to change herself, and what exactly she wanted to change in the first place. In the other story, Johnny is a musician who is struggling with addiction and leaning on an old friend for somewhere to stay while he tries to kick it. But the house seems to have its own plans for Johnny that are inescapable, after all, some agreements are more than legally binding.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in cult stories, insane workouts, and psychological and folkloric horror. Luke Smitherd, I'm already waiting for the next book that your mind creates.
Thank you to NetGalley for the eARC of this novel, I am leaving this review of my own choice.
About three quarters of the way through this book I started mentally creating my review and it began with "While the connection between the two stories is revealed early on in the novel, I feel they would work better as two separate stories to be more fleshed out."
Oh, how wrong I was. Luke Smitherd, I will try to not doubt you in the future.
This novel seamlessly blends the two stories to their ends and has you caring about the characters as death seems to wait for them on each and every page. Madison is going through a tough time, she dropped out of college, went through a breakup, and is currently unemployed. She hears about an intensive workout class (think CrossFit Cult on steroids) from a friend at the gym, who returned from the month long intensive essentially a whole new person. Madison signs up, but as the class gets going and she learns more and more, and punishments become more extreme, she wonders just how far she is truly willing to go to change herself, and what exactly she wanted to change in the first place. In the other story, Johnny is a musician who is struggling with addiction and leaning on an old friend for somewhere to stay while he tries to kick it. But the house seems to have its own plans for Johnny that are inescapable, after all, some agreements are more than legally binding.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in cult stories, insane workouts, and psychological and folkloric horror. Luke Smitherd, I'm already waiting for the next book that your mind creates.
Thank you to NetGalley for the eARC of this novel, I am leaving this review of my own choice.
October 20, 2025
I'll Quit When I’m Dead
by Luke Smithered is a dark, ambitious blend of psychological horror and supernatural tension that kept me going until the final page, but not really in the way I had hoped for. Smithered builds two unsettling narratives that I hoped would intertwine in such fantastic ways that never panned out. While the concept, writing, and atmosphere was wonderfully done, it didn't quite hit the mark.
Madison has seen better days. Reeling from a bad breakup, self-soothing with junk food, and totally consumed by her lack of direction, she’s in need of a big reset. When she runs into an old acquaintance at the gym, Madison is shocked by how fit they’ve suddenly become. The cause? An all-female fitness boot camp led by ex-military guru Ellie Fellowes. The course is characterized by grueling reps and minimal contact with the outside world, and when Madison signs up to experience it herself, something doesn’t feel right. The other students keep acting strangely; Ellie seems almost superhuman, and her intense motivational methods are becoming bizarre, even dangerous. But Madison is getting results. How can she stop now?
Musician Johnny Blake has been struggling with a pain pill addiction after a very public, very bad fall. At the encouragement of loved ones, he retreats to a secluded cottage to detox. But Johnny isn’t alone. Something is lurking in the shadows of his new home—a creature unnatural and hungry, one that traps Johnny in a frightening bargain. If Johnny doesn’t stay off his pills and keep his end of the deal, he will be eaten alive.
As Madison and Johnny’s predicaments spiral into the unthinkable, they will have to look within to find the true and terrifying answer to the age-old question: How badly do you want it?
Right off the bat the book had hooked me while setting up both Madison and Johnny's backgrounds to give us an idea of what kind of people we are dealing with. Each tale told, for the most part, in alternating chapters were gripping in their own right. It's the connective tissue in I'll Quit When I'm Dead I felt was quite thin and didn't come full circle to me in the final pages as I was waiting for. This set me back when I closed the book and left me unsatisfied.
Truthfully, if each of these tales were told in novella or short story format without any connective tissues they would standout on their own. Johnny is an unlikeable character that you feel for as a drug addict whole deals with not only his addiction but with supernatural elements at play. Madison is just one of those people that needs to figure out getting back on the right track while having to handle a bit of psychological horror. These stories truly had me gripped, trying to figure out what would happen next. Just the thin connectivity that lost it for me.
Luke Smithered delivers a strong concept, effective scares, interesting themes in I'll Quit When I’m Dead , but fails to make the two stories gel into a seamless into a wholly satisfying package. Either story on their own can deliver just what you want in horror stories, but trying to connect the two didn't hit the mark.
I'll Quit When I'm Dead is available at bookstores everywhere from Mulholland Books. The audiobook, narrated by Frankie Porter, is available at Libro.fm!
NOTE: We received an advance copy of I'll Quit When I'm Dead from the publisher. Opinions are our own.
Madison has seen better days. Reeling from a bad breakup, self-soothing with junk food, and totally consumed by her lack of direction, she’s in need of a big reset. When she runs into an old acquaintance at the gym, Madison is shocked by how fit they’ve suddenly become. The cause? An all-female fitness boot camp led by ex-military guru Ellie Fellowes. The course is characterized by grueling reps and minimal contact with the outside world, and when Madison signs up to experience it herself, something doesn’t feel right. The other students keep acting strangely; Ellie seems almost superhuman, and her intense motivational methods are becoming bizarre, even dangerous. But Madison is getting results. How can she stop now?
Musician Johnny Blake has been struggling with a pain pill addiction after a very public, very bad fall. At the encouragement of loved ones, he retreats to a secluded cottage to detox. But Johnny isn’t alone. Something is lurking in the shadows of his new home—a creature unnatural and hungry, one that traps Johnny in a frightening bargain. If Johnny doesn’t stay off his pills and keep his end of the deal, he will be eaten alive.
As Madison and Johnny’s predicaments spiral into the unthinkable, they will have to look within to find the true and terrifying answer to the age-old question: How badly do you want it?
Right off the bat the book had hooked me while setting up both Madison and Johnny's backgrounds to give us an idea of what kind of people we are dealing with. Each tale told, for the most part, in alternating chapters were gripping in their own right. It's the connective tissue in I'll Quit When I'm Dead I felt was quite thin and didn't come full circle to me in the final pages as I was waiting for. This set me back when I closed the book and left me unsatisfied.
Truthfully, if each of these tales were told in novella or short story format without any connective tissues they would standout on their own. Johnny is an unlikeable character that you feel for as a drug addict whole deals with not only his addiction but with supernatural elements at play. Madison is just one of those people that needs to figure out getting back on the right track while having to handle a bit of psychological horror. These stories truly had me gripped, trying to figure out what would happen next. Just the thin connectivity that lost it for me.
Luke Smithered delivers a strong concept, effective scares, interesting themes in I'll Quit When I’m Dead , but fails to make the two stories gel into a seamless into a wholly satisfying package. Either story on their own can deliver just what you want in horror stories, but trying to connect the two didn't hit the mark.
I'll Quit When I'm Dead is available at bookstores everywhere from Mulholland Books. The audiobook, narrated by Frankie Porter, is available at Libro.fm!
NOTE: We received an advance copy of I'll Quit When I'm Dead from the publisher. Opinions are our own.
October 14, 2025
This is a horror/ mystery book with two stories going back and forth throughout. Our first character, Johnny, is a musician with a pain pill addiction, and he goes away to a friend’s house to sober up after an embarrassing moment on stage with a fall. Our second character is Madison, who is in need of a life reboot after a bad breakup. After seeing an old friend who looks amazing, she is referred to Ellie, an ex-military guru. She signs up for an intense, secluded wellness boot camp, which is extremely hard to get a spot in, but just happens to have a free spot. It is promised to break her and turn her into the best version of herself, or there will be dire consequences.
Johnny’s story is met with the supernatural, as he finds once he arrives at his friend’s rental house that there are monsters to watch out for. An older couple vacating the rental warn him of intentions and to not make a deal with “The Boggart”. All of the conversation sounds crazy, but Johnny quickly finds himself in the attic with a black mass of a creature that makes him a deal with staying clean, but if broken, he gives up his life.
The chapters are long as we go back and forth between the two stories. I kept wondering what they had to do with each other because they are both so very different, but I was so engrossed with each that it kept me reading. The descriptive world Johnny is in really set the tone for the bizarre, and I really felt it explored a lot of metaphors for the relationships or lack of relationships Johnny had in his life to lead him to the pain pills. I couldn’t wait to see if he was going to be successful in his journey or succumb to the Boggart.
Madison’s story is a bit different because she is in a boot camp for a few other women. It’s extremely exclusive and secluded. There are different levels of hardness, but honestly they all sounded hard with barely any rest time, not a lot of food eaten, and corrective consequences if an activity was failed. You could quit, but those that did were taken away instantly with no room to say their goodbyes to the others. Ellie comes across as very manipulative in a disturbing manner, but for the greater good. Madison knows something doesn’t seem right, but she wants approval and to succeed so badly that she overlooks the warning signs over and over.
This was an intense read throughout, and while I was wondering how these two stories were related, once it was revealed I thought it was a brilliant way to connect them. I didn’t see it coming and quite enjoyed that twist. The twist is quick and then we go back to the two stories making you forget how they are connected. I even questioned if I read it correctly because it was written so well it made second guessme second-guess some things. In the end, it was tied together showing why they were connected.
This was such an original idea with so many creepy moments that I had such fun being invested in it.
Johnny’s story is met with the supernatural, as he finds once he arrives at his friend’s rental house that there are monsters to watch out for. An older couple vacating the rental warn him of intentions and to not make a deal with “The Boggart”. All of the conversation sounds crazy, but Johnny quickly finds himself in the attic with a black mass of a creature that makes him a deal with staying clean, but if broken, he gives up his life.
The chapters are long as we go back and forth between the two stories. I kept wondering what they had to do with each other because they are both so very different, but I was so engrossed with each that it kept me reading. The descriptive world Johnny is in really set the tone for the bizarre, and I really felt it explored a lot of metaphors for the relationships or lack of relationships Johnny had in his life to lead him to the pain pills. I couldn’t wait to see if he was going to be successful in his journey or succumb to the Boggart.
Madison’s story is a bit different because she is in a boot camp for a few other women. It’s extremely exclusive and secluded. There are different levels of hardness, but honestly they all sounded hard with barely any rest time, not a lot of food eaten, and corrective consequences if an activity was failed. You could quit, but those that did were taken away instantly with no room to say their goodbyes to the others. Ellie comes across as very manipulative in a disturbing manner, but for the greater good. Madison knows something doesn’t seem right, but she wants approval and to succeed so badly that she overlooks the warning signs over and over.
This was an intense read throughout, and while I was wondering how these two stories were related, once it was revealed I thought it was a brilliant way to connect them. I didn’t see it coming and quite enjoyed that twist. The twist is quick and then we go back to the two stories making you forget how they are connected. I even questioned if I read it correctly because it was written so well it made second guessme second-guess some things. In the end, it was tied together showing why they were connected.
This was such an original idea with so many creepy moments that I had such fun being invested in it.
October 11, 2025
⭐⭐⭐
🕸 Horror
🕷 Mental Health Rep
🕸 Centuries Old Creature
🕷 Writer x Musician
🕸 How Bad Do You Want It?
🕷 Slow Burn
🕸Don't Sleep Without The Lights On
✨️ ALC 🎧 REVIEW ✨️
🎙Narrated by: Frankie Porter 🎙
Frankie did a great job narrating this slow burn horror! I really enjoyed hearing her british accent turn into an American accent. Although, I will say her men's voice's could use a little work. I was able to get through it without major issue, but it could have went so much further if there would have been a male narrator.
✨️📖 On To The Book Review 📖✨️
Well, here I am on the second audiobook in as many days, and this one just didn't hit the mark for me. I feel as if I am going into these books with higher hopes than I should. I hate saying that, but alas here we are. I struggled through the first 30% trying to figure out how the MMC & FMC were tied together. When I finally found it, I was trying to figure out how to have the mindset of both characters working toward the end.
I feel as if this book should come with a content warning regarding the "camp" Madison attends. I like so many other woman have a trigger when it comes to things regarding our bodies. I had already had questions when the camp was talked about, so I was a bit confused as to why someone couldn't find another way to find the discipline they need. IDK about you but I'm not okay with physical assault as a way to do ANYTHING. I think after that I was very turned off from the whole book. It really gave me the major ✨️ICK✨️ factor I never want to have when reading a book!
I honestly couldn't keep reading much after that. I tried my best but when I have been given the ✨️ ICK ✨️ it rarely is able to redeem itself enough for me to continue. Unfortunately, this was the case. I refuse to make myself listen or read anything that I am not enjoying. This will only result in the book being read much slower than it should be all because I'm not enjoying it. And that's not fair to anyone. I don't like giving low ratings, you can check it's rare that I do give these. Because I feel as if because the book wasn't for me, it could easily be for someone else.
Thank you 🫶🏻 to ✨️ Luke Smitherd and Hachette Audio ✨️ for the complimentary 🎧 ALC 🎧 copy. ✨️ All opinions are my own, honest and voluntary✨️.
🕸 Horror
🕷 Mental Health Rep
🕸 Centuries Old Creature
🕷 Writer x Musician
🕸 How Bad Do You Want It?
🕷 Slow Burn
🕸Don't Sleep Without The Lights On
✨️ ALC 🎧 REVIEW ✨️
🎙Narrated by: Frankie Porter 🎙
Frankie did a great job narrating this slow burn horror! I really enjoyed hearing her british accent turn into an American accent. Although, I will say her men's voice's could use a little work. I was able to get through it without major issue, but it could have went so much further if there would have been a male narrator.
✨️📖 On To The Book Review 📖✨️
Well, here I am on the second audiobook in as many days, and this one just didn't hit the mark for me. I feel as if I am going into these books with higher hopes than I should. I hate saying that, but alas here we are. I struggled through the first 30% trying to figure out how the MMC & FMC were tied together. When I finally found it, I was trying to figure out how to have the mindset of both characters working toward the end.
I feel as if this book should come with a content warning regarding the "camp" Madison attends. I like so many other woman have a trigger when it comes to things regarding our bodies. I had already had questions when the camp was talked about, so I was a bit confused as to why someone couldn't find another way to find the discipline they need. IDK about you but I'm not okay with physical assault as a way to do ANYTHING. I think after that I was very turned off from the whole book. It really gave me the major ✨️ICK✨️ factor I never want to have when reading a book!
I honestly couldn't keep reading much after that. I tried my best but when I have been given the ✨️ ICK ✨️ it rarely is able to redeem itself enough for me to continue. Unfortunately, this was the case. I refuse to make myself listen or read anything that I am not enjoying. This will only result in the book being read much slower than it should be all because I'm not enjoying it. And that's not fair to anyone. I don't like giving low ratings, you can check it's rare that I do give these. Because I feel as if because the book wasn't for me, it could easily be for someone else.
Thank you 🫶🏻 to ✨️ Luke Smitherd and Hachette Audio ✨️ for the complimentary 🎧 ALC 🎧 copy. ✨️ All opinions are my own, honest and voluntary✨️.
September 25, 2025
I’ll Quit When I’m Dead is a unique take on the “book within a book” genre with an excellent mix of horror, psychological mystery, and the supernatural.
This book features two parallel stories. The first is a British rock musician Johnny who is borrowing a friend’s rural home to recover from a bad breakup and confronting an opioid addiction and the second follows Madison, a British woman recovering from a bad breakup as well in addition to working on overcoming severe body image issues and family trauma. Johnny soon finds that his country recovery get away is not what it seems and Madison ends up in a fitness boot camp based in Vermont which is significantly more intense than advertised.
The plot was very interesting in how Johnny and Madison’s stories at first seem completely divergent and unrelated and then you see what the connection is and then there’s yet another surprise. I found Madison’s story taking place in the brutal fitness camp to be a little bit more compelling both because of the relatability from my own personal experience in addition to the other characters in her story ranging from the other participants to the cult like leader of the camp Ellie.
The characters in Johnny’s chapters seemed a little bit more two dimensional and flat which there is a reason for however even understanding that didn’t help. Johnny’s story also had a lot more explaining of what was happening in it which was both tedious and a little hard to follow.
This book is not for the squeamish as the portions that take place in the fitness camp feature some relatively graphic depictions of violence.
The conclusion of the book felt rushed and some of the character’s motivations were hard to understand, however overall this was a compelling plot and I was eager to keep reading to find out what was going to happen next- to both main characters! This is a good read for readers who enjoy a bit of horror, the supernatural, and unconventional mysteries.
Many thanks to Little, Brown and Company/Mulholland Books and to NetGalley for this ARC to review. This review is my honest opinion
This book features two parallel stories. The first is a British rock musician Johnny who is borrowing a friend’s rural home to recover from a bad breakup and confronting an opioid addiction and the second follows Madison, a British woman recovering from a bad breakup as well in addition to working on overcoming severe body image issues and family trauma. Johnny soon finds that his country recovery get away is not what it seems and Madison ends up in a fitness boot camp based in Vermont which is significantly more intense than advertised.
The plot was very interesting in how Johnny and Madison’s stories at first seem completely divergent and unrelated and then you see what the connection is and then there’s yet another surprise. I found Madison’s story taking place in the brutal fitness camp to be a little bit more compelling both because of the relatability from my own personal experience in addition to the other characters in her story ranging from the other participants to the cult like leader of the camp Ellie.
The characters in Johnny’s chapters seemed a little bit more two dimensional and flat which there is a reason for however even understanding that didn’t help. Johnny’s story also had a lot more explaining of what was happening in it which was both tedious and a little hard to follow.
This book is not for the squeamish as the portions that take place in the fitness camp feature some relatively graphic depictions of violence.
The conclusion of the book felt rushed and some of the character’s motivations were hard to understand, however overall this was a compelling plot and I was eager to keep reading to find out what was going to happen next- to both main characters! This is a good read for readers who enjoy a bit of horror, the supernatural, and unconventional mysteries.
Many thanks to Little, Brown and Company/Mulholland Books and to NetGalley for this ARC to review. This review is my honest opinion
October 20, 2025
Ever since I read You See The Monster (my first Luke Smitherd novel) he's been on my auto-read list. I've read his entire catalogue and written reviews for most of them, always gushing because his writing owns my whole heart.
I may have said this in a previous review, but I just love the way his mind works and I love the way he translates that into writing. He is the kind of writer I wanted to be when I was young and wanted to be a writer.
I'll Quit When I'm Dead is a SUCH fantastic read. I'm almost sad I read it so quickly because now there's are Madison and Johnny shaped wholes in my soul.
Speaking of the main characters, I have no words to describe how much I love them. Luke's always been a master of writing wonderful characters, and he's one of the only male writers on my radar at the moment who can actually write women well.
The story touched me on a very personal level, to the point where it was sometimes a bit too relatable. But even if this isn't the case for everyone, it's simply an amazing story. Aside from his aforementioned mastery of writing actual human beings that feel real, the story itself is incredibly moving and heartfelt (and sometimes even heart-wrenching).
Naturally, it's also filled with delightfully creepy moments and some downright terrifying (I'm looking at you NDO).
I listened to the audio book, so I have to give Frankie Porter a shoutout. She absolutely knocked it out of the park with her narration. Her voices for all the different characters are subtle, but noticeable enough to know who's speaking, and never over the top or exaggerated. I was particularly blown away by her interpretation of the Boggart. So creepy!! Just brilliant!!
I have nothing else to say except, if you're on the fence, here's your sign to read this book!! And then go back and read everything Luke Smitherd has ever written.
Second-favorite author my ass--you've been number one for a long time now Smitherd. Can't wait for your next one!
I may have said this in a previous review, but I just love the way his mind works and I love the way he translates that into writing. He is the kind of writer I wanted to be when I was young and wanted to be a writer.
I'll Quit When I'm Dead is a SUCH fantastic read. I'm almost sad I read it so quickly because now there's are Madison and Johnny shaped wholes in my soul.
Speaking of the main characters, I have no words to describe how much I love them. Luke's always been a master of writing wonderful characters, and he's one of the only male writers on my radar at the moment who can actually write women well.
The story touched me on a very personal level, to the point where it was sometimes a bit too relatable. But even if this isn't the case for everyone, it's simply an amazing story. Aside from his aforementioned mastery of writing actual human beings that feel real, the story itself is incredibly moving and heartfelt (and sometimes even heart-wrenching).
Naturally, it's also filled with delightfully creepy moments and some downright terrifying (I'm looking at you NDO).
I listened to the audio book, so I have to give Frankie Porter a shoutout. She absolutely knocked it out of the park with her narration. Her voices for all the different characters are subtle, but noticeable enough to know who's speaking, and never over the top or exaggerated. I was particularly blown away by her interpretation of the Boggart. So creepy!! Just brilliant!!
I have nothing else to say except, if you're on the fence, here's your sign to read this book!! And then go back and read everything Luke Smitherd has ever written.
Second-favorite author my ass--you've been number one for a long time now Smitherd. Can't wait for your next one!
May 6, 2025
This book had such an interesting premise, and it landed in my lap just as I was starting a 21-day challenge of my own—so I had to check it out. I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly I became engrossed in the story.
Madison is desperate for a change. Fresh off a painful breakup and frustrated by endless diets and workouts that never seem to work, she’s low on motivation and direction. When she bumps into an old friend at the gym—someone who looks completely transformed—she’s immediately intrigued. Her friend introduces her to Ellie Fellowes, a former military woman who runs an unconventional boot camp.
Once Madison arrives, she’s completely cut off from the outside world—no electronics, and only one brief check-in per week with a single person. Her fellow participants are… unusual. Some follow Ellie’s every command without question, while others seem far less trustworthy. As strange events unfold, Madison’s unease grows—and she starts to question everything and everyone around her.
Meanwhile, we meet Johnny Blake, a musician battling addiction. He heads to a secluded cottage for a reset, but when the previous guests linger and give off unsettling vibes, he has an eerie feeling he’s not alone—even after they leave.
You definitely need to suspend disbelief for this one. At first, I felt like I was on a bizarre trip, but once I leaned into the atmosphere, I really enjoyed the ride. The eerie, isolated setting, the blurred line between reality and imagination, and the steady psychological tension kept me turning the pages. The characters are well developed, and the pacing had me hooked until the end. I even had to keep the lights on while reading!
This is a perfect blend of horror and psychological thriller—I couldn’t put it down.
Thank you to NetGalley, author Luke Smitherd, and Little, Brown and Company | Mulholland Books for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
Posted on Book Nook Buzz
Madison is desperate for a change. Fresh off a painful breakup and frustrated by endless diets and workouts that never seem to work, she’s low on motivation and direction. When she bumps into an old friend at the gym—someone who looks completely transformed—she’s immediately intrigued. Her friend introduces her to Ellie Fellowes, a former military woman who runs an unconventional boot camp.
Once Madison arrives, she’s completely cut off from the outside world—no electronics, and only one brief check-in per week with a single person. Her fellow participants are… unusual. Some follow Ellie’s every command without question, while others seem far less trustworthy. As strange events unfold, Madison’s unease grows—and she starts to question everything and everyone around her.
Meanwhile, we meet Johnny Blake, a musician battling addiction. He heads to a secluded cottage for a reset, but when the previous guests linger and give off unsettling vibes, he has an eerie feeling he’s not alone—even after they leave.
You definitely need to suspend disbelief for this one. At first, I felt like I was on a bizarre trip, but once I leaned into the atmosphere, I really enjoyed the ride. The eerie, isolated setting, the blurred line between reality and imagination, and the steady psychological tension kept me turning the pages. The characters are well developed, and the pacing had me hooked until the end. I even had to keep the lights on while reading!
This is a perfect blend of horror and psychological thriller—I couldn’t put it down.
Thank you to NetGalley, author Luke Smitherd, and Little, Brown and Company | Mulholland Books for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
Posted on Book Nook Buzz
May 10, 2025
I got hooked into reading I’ll Quit When I’m Dead with the description, but what followed was… not what I expected, in the best way possible.
The story follows two different characters - Johnny, a musician who has a fall at a show and is going into retreat to rediscover himself, and Madison, who is reeling from personal issues of her own stemming from self-esteem and a recent breakup. Both need a reset.
Johnny moves into a secluded cottage and something doesn’t feel right. There’s what looks like an altar set up, with a very questionably placed bag of Werther’s Originals, and he doesn’t remember setting anything up. Madison goes to the gym and runs into an old acquaintance who looks AMAZING, but is cagey about how she got that way.
What follows is Madison discovering No Days Off - what sounds like an intense bootcamp run by a woman named Ellie. She’s looking for change - and she gets more than she bargained for. When a group of ten starts the challenge, she discovers she can quit - to a point - and that punishment in the form of Hard Corrections are something to fear. You’ll never look at a bottle of Pepsi the same way again after reading that chapter! Once eight quit and there are only two remaining, Madison realizes that Ellie may not be as put together as she seems and things get…. nuts.
Johnny’s new path to self-discovery takes him to the cottage’s attic, where he meets the Boggart and realizes that he made an agreement he can’t remember. Never take painkillers again, or be eaten by a huge monster. How could anybody decide?
While parts of the story dragged a bit, the big reveal at the end, for both characters, was worth it. This was a fun read and a wild ride.
June 6, 2025
Review of Digital Galley
Sometimes, life needs to take a different path.
Madison, determined to do something positive for herself, signs up for a fitness/mental residential boot camp called No Days Off. But is the extreme camp really the answer she’s seeking and is Ellie really concerned with her best interests?
Musician Johnny Blake, troubled with OCD, takes a nasty fall during his concert and ends depending on pain pills. In an effort to get his life back on track, he decides to spend some time detoxing in a remote cottage, courtesy of his friend, Ivan. But what is hiding in the cottage? And why has the Boggart come for Johnny?
=========
This disturbing tale, mostly a psychological thriller about two people desperate to “fix” themselves, puts Madison in the position of being manipulated while Johnny dealings with the Boggart bring into play the supernatural aspects readers have come to expect from a horror story. There’s an underlying sense of dread that keeps the readers on edge as the unfolding story shows the ramifications of dire choices
But . . . L-O-N-G chapters have a tendency to impede the story and pull readers out of the telling of the tale. And there’s only the most tenuous of connections between Johnny’s story and Madison’s story. In addition, the overuse of a particularly offensive expletive . . . one that does absolutely nothing to move the story along . . . is likely to offend many readers.
I received a free copy of this eBook from Little, Brown and Company / Mullholland Books and NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving this review.
#IllQuitWhenImDead #NetGalley
Sometimes, life needs to take a different path.
Madison, determined to do something positive for herself, signs up for a fitness/mental residential boot camp called No Days Off. But is the extreme camp really the answer she’s seeking and is Ellie really concerned with her best interests?
Musician Johnny Blake, troubled with OCD, takes a nasty fall during his concert and ends depending on pain pills. In an effort to get his life back on track, he decides to spend some time detoxing in a remote cottage, courtesy of his friend, Ivan. But what is hiding in the cottage? And why has the Boggart come for Johnny?
=========
This disturbing tale, mostly a psychological thriller about two people desperate to “fix” themselves, puts Madison in the position of being manipulated while Johnny dealings with the Boggart bring into play the supernatural aspects readers have come to expect from a horror story. There’s an underlying sense of dread that keeps the readers on edge as the unfolding story shows the ramifications of dire choices
But . . . L-O-N-G chapters have a tendency to impede the story and pull readers out of the telling of the tale. And there’s only the most tenuous of connections between Johnny’s story and Madison’s story. In addition, the overuse of a particularly offensive expletive . . . one that does absolutely nothing to move the story along . . . is likely to offend many readers.
I received a free copy of this eBook from Little, Brown and Company / Mullholland Books and NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving this review.
#IllQuitWhenImDead #NetGalley
May 1, 2025
I’ll Quit When I’m Dead by Luke Smitherd is an intense, deeply unsettling psychological horror novel that took me completely by surprise. With elements of both suspense and raw emotional realism, it’s the kind of story that crawls under your skin and stays there. Madison and Johnny are two of the most compellingly flawed characters I’ve come across—each navigating their own personal hell, yet written in such a grounded way that their pain and desperation feel achingly real. Madison’s descent into the cult-like world of a fitness boot camp is terrifying in its subtlety, while Johnny’s battle with addiction and the terrifying choices he's forced into give the story a dark, claustrophobic edge.
Smitherd expertly weaves in themes of mental health, addiction, and control with a razor-sharp narrative and just the right dash of dark humor. The pacing is relentless, and the alternating perspectives offer a balanced, thought-provoking look into two very broken lives spiraling toward something far more sinister. There’s a raw, emotional weight to the story that elevates the horror beyond jump scares—it forces you to confront the psychological torment that’s often scarier than anything supernatural. It’s a gripping, emotionally charged read that fans of psychological thrillers and horror fiction won’t want to miss.
Special thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for this advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review!!
Smitherd expertly weaves in themes of mental health, addiction, and control with a razor-sharp narrative and just the right dash of dark humor. The pacing is relentless, and the alternating perspectives offer a balanced, thought-provoking look into two very broken lives spiraling toward something far more sinister. There’s a raw, emotional weight to the story that elevates the horror beyond jump scares—it forces you to confront the psychological torment that’s often scarier than anything supernatural. It’s a gripping, emotionally charged read that fans of psychological thrillers and horror fiction won’t want to miss.
Special thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for this advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review!!
October 18, 2025
There are two storylines here. Madison, a British young woman reeling from a breakup and feeling stuck in life, signs up for an exclusive fitness boot camp in the woods of Vermont. The program promises to help her learn discipline and self motivation but she has to agree to harsh punishment if she fails a task. Johnny, a TikTok star with a prescription drug addiction has detoxed and is trying to stay clean. He holes up in a friend’s cottage in a small English village. But to his horror there is a creature in the attic who makes a bargain with him—stay clean or he dies.
Madison’s story is all psychological horror. There’s physical torture and mind games. She doesn’t know who to trust, including the leader of their program and though no one was supposed to get permanently injured, the punishments get slowly more severe and the activities get more dangerous.
Johnny’s story is the monster horror. There are creatures attacking him and strange people wandering around. Even the houses on his street are strange. He’s fighting for his life against overwhelming odds.
The stories don’t seem to have anything in common. But there are connections you find eventually. The endings to both are satisfying, although I had a lot of questions. I would love to read this one with a book club so I could ask all my questions! If you’ve read this one, drop me a DM and let’s chat.
The narrator did an amazing job with make and female voices in both American and British accents.
An excellent horror novel, perfect for spooky season.
Thanks to @netgalley and @hachetteaudio for the review copy of this audiobook!
Madison’s story is all psychological horror. There’s physical torture and mind games. She doesn’t know who to trust, including the leader of their program and though no one was supposed to get permanently injured, the punishments get slowly more severe and the activities get more dangerous.
Johnny’s story is the monster horror. There are creatures attacking him and strange people wandering around. Even the houses on his street are strange. He’s fighting for his life against overwhelming odds.
The stories don’t seem to have anything in common. But there are connections you find eventually. The endings to both are satisfying, although I had a lot of questions. I would love to read this one with a book club so I could ask all my questions! If you’ve read this one, drop me a DM and let’s chat.
The narrator did an amazing job with make and female voices in both American and British accents.
An excellent horror novel, perfect for spooky season.
Thanks to @netgalley and @hachetteaudio for the review copy of this audiobook!
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