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What Radical Husbands Do: 12 Steps to Win and Keep Your Wife's Heart

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What Radical Husbands Do is a book written by a man for men about marriage. It gives people things to DO not to BE. No 'psycho-babble', 'religion', or 'feel-good frills'. Just straight up advice from a guy who has screwed up and learned how to make his marriage work through hard times. Marriage isn't a game of chance. Are you willing to put your chips on the table and go 'all in' to win and keep your wife's heart? This book shows you how.

150 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2014

348 people are currently reading
237 people want to read

About the author

Regi Campbell

15 books9 followers

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5 stars
191 (38%)
4 stars
177 (35%)
3 stars
93 (18%)
2 stars
25 (5%)
1 star
10 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
Profile Image for Jeff.
245 reviews47 followers
February 12, 2016
One of the many things I love about Regi Campbell is his ability to be blunt and caring at the same time. He certainly does that in his new book What Radical Husbands Do. 12 Steps to Win and Keep Your Wife's Heart.

It's as if Regi pulls up a chair and gets right in our face, but in a "I care for you and your wife" kind of way.

Here are some of my takeaways from Regi's book:

* The man determines the quality of his marriage.
* Radical husbands drop their expectations. Your anxiety comes from unmet expectations.
* Love what she loves.
* Your wife will gravitate toward an environment of acceptance and away from an environment of rejection and criticism.
* Being grateful and expressing it to your wife does more to create an environment of acceptance than anything else.
* A woman who feels as if she has no "voice" is a woman whose husband does not connect to her feelings.
* Decisions are choices between the greater of two goods and/or the lesser of two evils from the perspective of the person facing the decision.
* You can't stay asleep at the switch and hope for a fantastic marriage. Hope isn't a strategy.
* Ask your wife about her dreams. Then, try and make one happen.
Profile Image for Dick.
421 reviews5 followers
October 4, 2014
I volunteer at the bookstore at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, Georgia. I kept walking by this book wondering what it was all about So, I picked it up and opened it randomly and found it full of really good information. It is written for men about men and is very direct. No topic is left unmentioned.

As I read it, it seemed to me that it was aimed at men who marriages were in crisis. Mine was not. But no one should take for granted their marriage and working at it.

This book is full of good advice on how to be a real partner to your wife, no matter your age or how long you have been married.

I got a great deal out of it and had planned to give it away. Changed my mind about that and have decided to keep it for reference purposes and to remind me that there are things I can do to make my marriage better.

I will buy some copies and give them to some men I know can benefit a great deal form the book, even though they do not think their marriage is in crisis.

Want to avoid a crisis in your marriage or want to avoid going off the rails? This book can do a lot - if you follow the observations and advice - to avoid both of those things.
Profile Image for Zach Cunningham.
11 reviews40 followers
May 5, 2021
Recommended by a friend. I thought his style was silly at first but it grew on me. Second half of the book is great. Good practical takeaways, no fluff.
Profile Image for Jason.
42 reviews2 followers
November 6, 2016
Informal tone hammers home the principle.

Radical Husbands is a great list of steps to keep and win your wife's heart. I found myself in many of the examples of what not to do and picked up some great steps moving forward. I also found the very informal tone of the book relatable because it read like I was having a conversation rather than reading a how-to book.

The three stars are due to the editing. The over use of italics, bold, and capital letters made it hard to read in places. I felt the all-caps paragraphs (which seems to just appear halfway through and then carry forward) weeper superfluous and extreme. The content, however, was good and I am glad I picked up the book.
Profile Image for Mark.
39 reviews3 followers
June 17, 2014
This book provides very reasonable, practical, and biblical recommendations to improve your marriage. Most marriage-oriented books offer short-term solutions (focusing on gender differences, communication tactics, etc), while Regi Campbell gives us a path and perspective for long-term marital success.
Profile Image for Eric Brown.
Author 3 books6 followers
July 16, 2019
A no nonsense and no punches pulled look at men in marriage relationships. While this is a quick read the practical application will last a lifetime. Regis speaks from experience doesn’t beat around the bush. If you’re in a marriage relationship and committed to your wife you need to read this. If you’re in a marriage relationship out of personal selfish convenience, man-up and read this book. If you’re not in a marriage relationship but thinking about it or your engaged, check your motivation and read this book. Finally, if you’re divorced and don’t want to repeat the past you need to read this book.
Profile Image for Don B.
14 reviews
July 29, 2022
A very helpful book for husbands. We need to be doing these 12 steps
Profile Image for Caitlin Gentry.
42 reviews4 followers
January 28, 2025
Read as a support for one of my husband’s small group reading assignments- wives were challenged to read as well. Helps you better understand what men face and how to support them. “Burn the ships” chapter was incredibly eye opening and opened the door for a lot of conversation.
Profile Image for Matthew.
312 reviews9 followers
April 28, 2016
The subtitle of this book is "12 Steps To Win and Keep Your Wife's Heart" and those 12 steps are...

1. Decide and Tell Her
2. Burn the Ships
3. Drop Your Expectations
4. Love What She Loves
5. Create and Environment of Acceptance
6. Learn to Listen
7. Give Up Sex
8. Learn to Lose
9. Set Her Free
10. Think Long-Term
11. Stop Talking and Do Something
12. Give Up

Regi's argument from the beginning is the "The man determines the quality of his marriage" because you can only control you.

Here are some of my favorite thoughts...

"Winning your wife's heart is everything."

"It's up to you to win and keep your wife's heart...There's no way to 'get there' and then quit."

"There are no such things as 'marriage problems.' We have personal problems, revealed in the white-hot heat of marriage."

"Love isn't a hole I fall into; it's a choice I make."

"Love initiates marriage. But marriage sustains love."

"Make a commitment. Grit your teeth and decide you're going to honor it and never quit. Never give up."

"When you bail on your marriage, you give your kids permission to divorce when they get married. You can't tell them not to do something you did. You'll have no moral authority with your kids on the subject."

"Expectations are the enemy of intimacy...You have to decide that you're going to accept your wife just as she is, regardless of how you wish she were."

"Your wife will gravitate toward an environment of acceptance and away from an environment of rejection and criticism."

"Kids love to see their parents loving each other. It makes them feel secure."

"You can't stay asleep at the switch and just hope for a fantastic marriage. Hope is not a strategy."




Profile Image for Charissa Wilkinson.
843 reviews13 followers
August 12, 2014
I received this book for a fair review.

Mr. Campbell believes that your marriage can be saved, provided that your spouse hasn’t decided to call it quits for certain.

I like the fact that Mr. Campbell insists that marriage isn’t 50/50 but more like 100/100. Then, we have the fact that marriage is give and take. We have to remember that we just can’t be permanent givers or takers.

If you pair this book with Dr. Keteyian’s “Do You Know What I Mean?” then you will have the best chance to keep your marriage afloat.
Profile Image for Joe.
17 reviews
September 29, 2014
I liked this book so well that I've been recommended it to everyone I talk to. In fact, I have formed two groups of men to read and discuss this book over the next few months. I first became familiar with Regi Campbell through his Radical Mentoring program. He's the real deal. And this book hits home runs chapter after brief chapter. No sugar-coated platitudes here, just hard hitting truth for men who want to have great marriages. Get it, read it, do it! For a more complete review see epiccoaching.net
94 reviews2 followers
December 28, 2015
Simple, direct, challenging descriptions of what it takes to be a good husband. Doesn't address heart changes so much as behavior changes. But that's OK. Sometimes heart change will follow behavior change.
106 reviews14 followers
December 8, 2015
Although this book is geared towards relationships that are in trouble it would be beneficial for every man to read. It gives 12 simple to understand steps to protects or rebuild your marriage.
Profile Image for Chris.
23 reviews1 follower
September 2, 2019
Minus one star for the psychobabble in the final chapter. Otherwise, good info.
Profile Image for Aaron Mikulsky.
Author 2 books26 followers
January 8, 2020
Below are my notes from What Radical Husbands Do by Regi Campbell. It’s a quick and good “reminder read” for relationship success and on human nature.

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go, they merely determine where you start.” - Nido Qubein

See Page 10 - what’s going on when you’re in a good place.
“Sometimes what feels like peace to you may feel like boredom to her.”
Lots of “okay” marriages are blowing up.
Avoid being stunned someday when “okay” is replaced with “goodbye.”

When your marriage is a struggle or worse - there’s friction and frustration almost daily; you argue over big things and little things; you spend time thinking about what life might be like with a fresh start. There’s fewer friendly conversations, more anger, more frustration, less patience, less agreement, you keep clashing over the same things. You’ve tried for a long time and you’re tired. She’s not going to change. She’s showing little or no interest in anything you offer. You’re just tired of the battle, tired of the disappointment, the criticism, feeling like a stranger in your own home. I’m trapped here with a women I don’t love. This marriage is holding both of us back from being happy.
Your anxiety about your wife and marriage is coming from your unmet expectations. This isn’t what you signed up for. Your anxiety turns to anger; you’ve become impatient, intolerant and less loving. Your words and demeanor have become downright mean. [page 41 - crossroads question]

Love is a choice you make. You’ve got to choose to love your wife. You have to choose to be kind to her, no matter what she says or how she treats you. You have to choose to serve her, no matter how little she serves you.
You need to tell her you love her and won’t leave her, no matter what. Tell her you’re willing and ready to work on stuff and you’ll never give up on your marriage. A women’s need for security is near the top of her list.
“Love initiates marriage. But marriage sustains love.”
“Somebody has to go first. By going first, the leader furnishes confidence to those who follow.” - Andy Stanley
“Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough.” - George Washington Carver (who patented 268 different uses for the peanut).
“Expectations are the enemy of intimacy.”
[page 42 “Happy Wife Pledge”]

Marriage statistics:
Women are less happy in their marriages than man; women are more likely than men to see problems in their marriages; women are more likely to initiate divorce (67% of the time) and more than 3 X as likely as their former husbands to have strongly desired the divorce. Divorce rate is 57%. Most people who divorce once are likely to divorce again.
The divorce rate among young couples have dropped below 26% because they’re living together first.

Golf legend Bobby Jones said, “The game of golf is played mainly on a five-inch course, in a space between your ears.”
Committing to your wife and making your marriage work is by far the least expensive choice you have. When you bail on your marriage, you give your kids permission to divorce when they get married. Make your wife your only option.

People can’t change other people. You can’t change how another person thinks or what one believes. You can’t change how another person feels. All you can do is create an environment that will feel different. How do you create an environment of acceptance? Express gratitude - gratitude for who someone is versus what he or she does. Unexpressed gratitude feels like ingratitude. Nothing makes a person’s heart colder than feeling unappreciated. Find the positive; don’t sweat the small stuff - teach yourself to overlook things; lengthen your time horizon by focusing on your long-term goal; sacrifice your selfishness.

Listen to your wife; listening is loving. Ask your wife, “Do you want me to fix it or feel it?” Don’t fix things unless she wants you to.

If you have any chance of making your marriage work, you’ve got to learn to lose. Don’t get drawn into conflicts where the worst of both of you comes out. You’re trying to show her a better side of you. “Drop the rope and learn to lose.”

The curse of criticism - The enemy of acceptance is rejection. A lot of criticism is an ingrained habit. When you use the word “you,” people feel the accusation and rejection. When criticism hits on the “who” and not just the “what,” is when it stings the most. Dial down the comments and dial up the genuine compliments, the words of affirmation and gratitude.

Why are women so sensitive? Little girls get a ton of their self-esteem from their dads. Very few dads carefully build and protect their daughters’ self-esteem when they’re little. A tiny percentage of women come out of adolescence feeling lovely and lovable.

“When you commit to something, when you make it your exclusive, unconditional, never-going-to-give-you-up choice, you will start to treasure what you have and see its potential to be even greater in the future.”

Your life’s journey begins with a single step. Will it be toward God? Or away from Him? If it’s away from him, then you’re on your own. What’s to lose if you step toward God? Why not take a chance to possibly have an advocate in your corner providing continuous love and support.


71 reviews
March 16, 2018
Good advice

This is a book designed for married men (and possibly those considering marriage) who have been married a few years and finding it wasn’t what they expected. I also believe it would be helpful for women, though it wasn’t intended for that audience. There are some helpful insights as to what causes problems in a marriage, mostly from the man’s perspective, with the burden of change also being placed on the man. The idea is if the husband changes for the better, the wife will follow (if she hasn’t already made up her mind that the husband isn’t worth the effort). Certainly the ideas presented, the things to consider are valid points, and as such, will be helpful for any marriage, whether believed to be strong or not.
9 reviews2 followers
February 10, 2020
Give Your Spouse and Your Marriage a Chance

I absolutely love a book written by someone who is compelled to help others.

The steps in this book are simple, yet profound. Each chapter contains something that you or your husband have undoubtedly done, and there's hope in getting beyond it. I feel oftentimes we give up on ourselves and our spouses, but we didn't fall in love overnight or create the problems we're in overnight.

This book is an encouraging read. Ladies, if you have any doubts I'd read the Afterword section first before jumping in. Guys, change for your wives and girlfriends before it is too late.
33 reviews
August 26, 2021
An eye-opener

I read this book for a men's mentoring group I co-lead at my church. This is my first time reading this book. I'll be honest, through parts of it I rolled my eyes and didn't think it applied to me. But to be more honest, if it makes my wife feel more valued then it does apply to me. I'd do anything to make her life happier because she adds so much value to my own. I really enjoyed reading this once I got that mindset down. It's definitely one I'll be suggesting to other married men I know.
Profile Image for Diane.
2 reviews
June 6, 2024
Started off pretty good. Definitely can tell the author has very hard time seeing past his own personal situation. All written as the man is the breadwinner and the wife is a stay at home mom. All guys want is golf and ESPN am I right?! If you can see past the fairly myopic vision of the author there is some good advice. But then oops guess what?! Sorry only Christians can have good marriages. Yup sorry to tell you. Believing in the fairytale man in the sky is the only way to have a successful marriage. The book is incredibly short, read it and returned for full refund.
Profile Image for Vance.
Author 13 books8 followers
March 25, 2018
If your marriage is in crisis or you are just starting out, this book would be useful. I have what Regi would call an OK to Great marriage, so I was only able to find a few things to apply.

I understand that this book is aimed at new or non-Christians, so I understand why he held out a relationship with Christ till the end. But for me, that is the absolute foundation of any marriage that will last.
2 reviews1 follower
August 8, 2018
Life changing.

This book... I wasn’t even expecting to get ANYTHING out of this book. But it really hit me between the eyes and made me realize that I really sucked as a husband. And the whole time I BLAMED HER. Really great book for anyone that wants to make sense of his wife (who just doesn’t ever make sense). I found empathy through reading this book.
11 reviews2 followers
June 8, 2021
Regi does a great job of applying years of marital experience into practical, applicable advice for any husband. The book reads really easy and he uses language that feels like he is talking directly to you. The end of the book is phenomenal and I would highly recommend this one to any husbands out there that want to love their wives well!
1 review
July 13, 2022
Excellent!

Superb book. Practical advice from experience that I immediately started to put into practice. Not easy of coarse but nothing worthwhile is easy. My wife and I have been married for 34 years so you think I’d have it down. NO WAY!! So enjoyed the help this book provided.
1 review
September 25, 2023
Great Insight on Marriage

I think marriage can be difficult and very trying. This book provides a lot of insight on the different themes and issues experienced in a marriage. It will give you perspective on how to handle different problems. I think it's a great book for anyone to read.
Profile Image for Bryan Paul Buckley.
3 reviews
March 4, 2025
Practical Read and Worth the Time

Surprise read that kept me engaged and wanting to continue to read which is rare for me.

Every chapter had practical and realistic action items.

You could feel the author’s passion and had been through what he was communicating.

Quick read that I highly suggest.
Profile Image for Rich.
186 reviews6 followers
July 25, 2018
Regis is the real deal...

A lot of good advice here. Some of it will seem easy, some of it will seem impossible, but all of it can be done. Much will happen if you follow this book, but you need to be serious about your relationship.
Profile Image for Susan Pease Banitt.
Author 5 books52 followers
December 5, 2018
Listen up!

This man has done the dirt time and has great advice for men struggling in their marriages. Most men have not been mentored to become good husbands; think of this book as your mentor, fellas, and watch your marriage improve!
1 review
February 23, 2025
I believe all things in this book are useful for any husband in any walk of his marriage. The last was especially well done and what I started doing only recently. The resources are likely very good and I’m eager to continue my journey utilizing the resources mentioned.
17 reviews
November 23, 2018
Great read

This is a book that I will start sharing with other husbands to read. Regis have shared some important tips and steps that I believe many men can learn and grow from.
Profile Image for Drake Elkins.
1 review1 follower
April 3, 2019
Wish I would have heard this at 21

There’s no holding back punches here. It’s a good read and a hard read. I needed it. You need it. Dig in.
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