The Good Sleeper: The Essential Guide to Sleep for Your Baby--and You

by Janet Krone Kennedy

A refreshingly straightforward method for training infants to become great sleepers for life, inspired by clinical psychologist Janet Kennedy's popular psychotherapy practice, NYC Sleep Doctor

Cry it out or co-sleep? Bassinet or swing? White noise machine or Bach? How many hours anyway? For something so important, there's too much conflicting information about how best to get your baby to sleep through the night and nap successfully during the day. This book is a straightforward, no-nonsense answer to one of the biggest challenges new parents face when they welcome a brand new baby home. This book is written for exhausted parents, giving them immediate access to the information they need. Reassuring and easy to understand, Dr. Kennedy addresses head-on the fears and misinformation about the long-term effects of crying and takes a bold stand on controversial issues such as co-sleeping and attachment parenting. With polarizing figures and techniques dominating the marketplace―and spawning misinformation across the internet―Dr. Kennedy's methods and practices create an extensively researched and parent-tested approach to sleep training that takes both babies' and parents' needs into account to deliver good nights and days of sleep, and no small dose of peace of mind.

The Good Sleeper is a practical, empowering―and even entertaining―guide to help parents understand infant sleep. This research-based book will teach parents the basics of sleep science, determine how and when to intervene, and provide tools to solve even the most seemingly impossible sleep problems.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family, Childrens, Psychology

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 20, 2015

About the author

Janet Kennedy, Ph.D is a clinical psychologist who spent eight years at the Manhattan Veterans Affairs Medical Center where she developed the Sleep Disorders Treatment Program. She is the founder of the successful consultation and psychotherapy practice NYC Sleep Doctor, has been featured on CBS This Morning and has been quoted in Parents Magazine, NY Press, Redbook, and the Encyclopedia Britannica website. Dr. Kennedy lives in Brooklyn, NY with her husband and two children.

Reviews

[Sasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is our favorite book about sleeping babies. It advises all naps, all the time - the adage that "sleep begets sleep" is currently in vogue. (Its primary champion is Marc Weissbluth, whose Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child I haven't read.) When your mother tells you to keep them awake during the day so they'll sleep better at night, says Kennedy, she is full of shit. You'll make him overtired, at which point his body will release adrenaline, thinking something is wrong, at which point he'll be beyond sleep, in the crying zone, and now you're fucked. That sounds familiar, oh parent, doesn't it? Yes, it does.

Instead, Kennedy recommends looking for signs that he's tired - "doing anything other than smiling delightedly at you" is close enough - and then setting up a careful series of Pavlovian triggers to make him fall asleep, after about 75-90 minutes during the day and then all night starting around 7 pm. This seems great, because then we can just go out to bars. Parenting is easy!

But if you're still having trouble, Kennedy also has this advice:

There will come a time when your baby is so stimulated by you that she can't easily fall asleep in your arms (and possibly in your presence). The time has come to put the baby down.

The Old Yeller treatment sounds extreme, but I can see how it would permanently solve the problem. And Nathan's cutest days may be behind him anyway.

[Brandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Janet Krone Kennedy's "The Good Sleeper: The Essential Guide to Sleep for Your Baby - and You" is a must-have for new parents. This guide gives practical advice and information regarding infant sleep patterns and how to 'train' them with the best interest of both the child and the parents in mind.
The book is easy to follow along with and understand. It is layed-out well and information is easy to find. This is better than resorting to the internet in search of answers, as there is so much conflicting information out there. Since Dr. Kennedy is a clinical psychologist who also developed a program for sleep disorders (as well as a mother herself), she is definitely a person one would rely on for accurate information on such topics. She presents information and advice in a straight-forward fashion and addresses numerous issues, from co-sleeping to noise.
One section I know many parents can benefit from is where Dr. Kennedy discusses bedtime routines and battles. I know of a family whose child is transitioning from a crib to a bed, so I will be loaning a copy of the book to them.
I would definitely recommend this guide to parents, especially new parents, to arm them for the battles ahead. Doesn't everyone need a good nights sleep after all? I won a copy of this book from Goodreads.com in exchange for a review.

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm recommending this to everyone I know having babies.

[Katie]

I’m not sure how to rate this because it was written well- easy to understand, nonjudgmental, practical advice- but I also don’t think I can do this method (which is basically classic cry it out). She seems pretty harsh about it but I guess you have to be when doing cry it out. I don’t know, when she talked about the vomiting aspect and the example of the kid who cried from 11pm-6am I was done. There’s just no way I could endure those scenarios. I did like her section about childcare and the way that she’s so straightforward and matter of fact. Also I feel like she takes a lot of the judgement off parents for wanting their kids to sleep through the night so they can sleep. She acknowledges that parents have needs too- shocker!! But a lot of baby books don’t. Anyway, I liked the book but probably won’t use this method with my son.

[Lindsey Stump · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably the most helpful baby sleep book I’ve read.

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful!

[Lindzy Goodman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven’t given birth yet to try all this out but the book seems like a happy medium (based on science and real life examples) between the cry it out method and responding to every cry. She acknowledges that every child is different and I feel this gives a good base to work with. Summary notes:

-Prevent baby from becoming overtired (increases adrenaline)
-more sleeping during day is good. First 3 mo baby should not be awake more than 90 min at a time. At 1 hr 15 start trying get to sleep and look for signs of fatigue
-use drowsiness cues to start soothing baby to sleep before overtired

-0-6 wks:
will want to sleep in your arms. Try to start having nap separate too to get into habit.
avoid napping on breast.
Pacifier can be good transition for small period.
Newborns do not have clock (no melatonin production until 6 weeks.)Ok sleeping during day. 16 hrs or more. Don’t wake from daytime naps.
Create sleep cues—>sing the same song/rocking when putting him to sleep, white noise (like air purifier all night and naps)
Avoid comfort sucking- stop feeding when when swallowing slowing down
When start crying middle of night, soothe them without engaging them (no talking/eye contact) and slowly increase time to respond to them so learn to self soothe.
Use swaddle
Pacifiers good in this stage
Ok to sleep in room (SIDS-bassinet next to bed)


6-12 weeks:
-make sure room dark for sleep (melatonin now present and sleeping more at night). Open to sunlight when waking up in morning!
-put to bed before 8 pm
-avoid feed then sleep schedule so does not rely on eating to fall asleep. Only routine feeding before sleep should be bedtime. Not before naps. Feed after naps.
-put into crib as getting drowsy (not fully asleep). Can use swing or something as transition if need movement. Or touch in crib as needed until fall asleep. Let cry 5-10 minutes without picking up again.
-bedtime routine: bath prn, dim lights, soft music, white noise, massage, feed until sucking for comfort, hold and sing same song so does not associate feed with sleep
-move baby out of your room!
-when baby makes noise at night, restrain self from going to him until really know he’s awake (give some time, babies are noisy)
-do not need baby monitor on all night. Know to go to him when can hear him from our bedroom.
-transition from bassinet to crib: start with naps, use swaddle that’s not clean (smells of them), can put bassinet in crib to start, keep sleep cues consistent. Earlier is better!! Will be harder after 3 mo. Should not be fully asleep when place in crib or will wake up and cry. First nap of day easiest place to start for transition since most rested.
-recognize if spitting out pacifier for attention once old enough.
-phase out of swaddle at this time- one arm out first ect as baby learns to self soothe. Once baby can roll over swaddle is dangerous.

12-20 weeks:
-should definitely transition to falling asleep in crib on own if haven’t yet. Try fading out helping them fall asleep
-can fade out of night eating starting 12 wks. They can take in calories in 12 hours of day at this point. Ways to help wean: start bottle feeding with you/partner and decrease 1 oz each night, less time at breast each night.
-try to stick to schedule +/- 30 min
-naps at home best. Try to at least do first nap of day at home. Best nap out of house is 3rd of day and try to minimize being out all day or multiple days in a row of this
-bedtime 6:30-7:30 pm (because of melatonin surge)
-3-5 mo= three naps, earlier bedtime
-6-9 mo=first 2 naps may lengthen and 3rd unpredictable
-8-10 mo= no third nap. Nap around 9 am and 1 pm. (If too close together, gradually increase about 15 min a day).
-10-15 mo= nap 9 am and 1:30 pm. Bedtime later in windows 7:30 pm.
-14-18 mo= no second nap. First nap later 10 am for 2-3 hrs.
-soothing crying baby at night: don’t want them to cry out for attention at night to get soothed. Reinforces bad habit. Do not feed if not hunger. Have partner sooth since won’t smell the milk- fade from falling asleep in arm to in crib over time
-by 6 mo get separation anxiety so if still not able to fall asleep independently by 3/4 mo must consider cry it out method
-cry it out: should be able to do 2 wks consistent at your house, no swaddle so can self soothe with hands once can roll over. Be consistent!! Can do full cry it out or increase time to respond to cry each night like 3 min then 5 then 10 ect start at bedtime. Do not “check in”, hold strong through it even though hard because best for baby. Usually easiest to start this method at night rather than naps. If doing it with naps, can consider stroller nap for last one of day to catch up on sleep so not overtired for bedtime.
-8 month regression: baby growing out of a nap. Often good to move bedtime earlier

Other tips
-daylight savings: shift by 30 min first day not full hour
-when baby able to roll onto stomach best thing is to leave him alone. Usually takes a week to adjust. Same with standing/talking. May need to move bedtime earlier because they cause more adrenaline and energy.
-as grow out of naps, move bedtime earlier

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

saved me in my time of need. super readable and extremely comforting. THANK YOU SERENA.

[Tyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having taught many infants to sleep, and some toddlers who needed to be re-taught or who were late learners, this book is the bible to me. If parents or caregivers are only able to read one book about infant sleep, I would recommend this be it all the way. HOWEVER!! The author is not perfect. In one part of the book she makes space for the idea of sending a poor sleeper to an infant chiropractor. Absolutely insane advice; if I didn’t already know her methods to work so well this alone would partially discredit her to me. She also dedicates a whole chapter to why hiring a nanny is stupid. As a proud nanny, I just want to tell her that nobody is judging her for sending her kids to daycare, and she didn’t need to write a whole chapter defending her choice; we are all plenty sure it was the right decision for her family. Finally, I love her scientific takedown of so-called “attachment parenting,” truly the worst trend to hit the parenting world since earthenware baby bottles. Anyway, this book overall rocks except that one line about chiropractics. I just sharpied it out in my loaner copy. Yes I will be complicit in book censorship this one time.

[Kate Shivers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five stars forever and always. I first discovered this book in 2015 when I was pregnant with my first. I have since re-read this book for each subsequent baby (just had my fourth) and I have been applying these principles with each child with success. Each of my babies slept 12-13 hours (straight) between 8-12 weeks thanks to my use of strategies from this book. I have recommended this book to friends and family members and those who read the book and applied these principles have had great success. I do not recommend this book to those who are easily offended by mention of the cry-it-out method. I did not have to use cry-it-out, but the option is included in the book for those who need to use it. Thank you Dr. Janet Kennedy for this excellent resource!

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t want to brag, but if my baby were in a competition for worst sleeper in the world, he’d win.

I’ve probably read 5-10 books about baby sleep. I wanted to be sure about which sleep training method I choose. I feel this is a no BS book that is organized, isn’t too long, and has facts and research to back it up. I was hesitant because it’s from 2015 and I want the “latest and greatest” information. But sleep training started in the late 1800’s, and nothing has changed. I didn’t find anything in this book that is outdated compared to blogs and books I’ve read.
I recommend this book to any parent who wants to start the sleep training process.

[Sarah Grist · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear and easy-to-read guide to improving infant sleep with a focus on cry-it-out methods. The book acknowledges that every family has a different set of beliefs and circumstances, and there is no magic solution to sleep, but there are a series of steps that all families can take that can help to gradually (or quickly) improve the quality of sleep of their little one. I felt empowered and optimistic after reading this book because I have some new strategies to try, whether or not they will work!

[Ozge Can · Rating 1 out of 5]

How can I trust the suggestions and information given in a book once I read “it is okey to apply cry it our method to 12 weeks old babies”??!!

This book is published as an excuse or consolation for parents who at the end had to try crying methods. (Never say never, maybe one day i will have no choice but to apply the method as well). But please, do not present me a baby crying for long hours as something good for both parties.

At the end of the book, you find something funny: how she tries to explain that science is backing crying. Please…

[Genesee Hornung · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I read the sentence "Others get through multiple wakings before giving up and bringing the baby to bed at 2 or 4 or maybe 5 a.m" that described us exactly. The author very frankly explains that doing this actually encourages your baby to wake up more frequently. She has very practical advice and is straightforward in her approach. I enjoyed all the anecdotal stories throughout and her step by step of how to tackle better sleep for my baby.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not particularly a fan of the cry it out method but my 8mth old baby is a nightmare at night, although I didn't let her cry it out for more than probably 2-5mins (and definitely didn't leave her full on crying) this book had so many great ideas and helpful tips and within 3 days my bub is sleeping through, the information about how much sleep baby needs, sample routines and tips for navigating other children etc were invaluable

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful read and so encouraging to a new parent! I started reading this book when my son was first born as it moves through chapters by age (in weeks). Once he started sleeping well I actually forgot to finish the rest, but so glad I picked it back up and did! Fully support teaching our children to sleep well and in turn, it helps us parents sleep better too. So many good things from this book! Even learned a bit more about improving my own sleep hygiene as well.

[Lenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kennedy's guide for parents navigating sleep for newborns through infants is well laid out and easy to read. I appreciated her use of bold type and bullet points so her guidance was more digestible and will be easy to find at a glance. Her techniques make a lot of sense and are backed up by evidence, rather than just relying on anecdotal or personal experience. I'm glad I read it during pregnancy, and I'm confident that I will refer back to it often at each stage.

[Joshie Nicole readwithjoshie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this intermittently before and after my daughter was born. The book offers lots of helpful and reassuring advice. She debunks the crackpot “Dr.” Sears and his extremely woo-based approach to sleep training and parenting. She also takes a hardline stance on the dangers of co-sleeping, which is so important for all parents to understand.

[Andrea Berardi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been reading this book on-and-off since my daughter was born. Although we have been blessed with an excellent sleeper, this book has lots of science-based tips for developing baby's sleep rhythms.

It also reinforces the dangers of co-sleeping and promotes the safest sleep methods for infants.

[Kristin Ely · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had tons of specific small step strategies for easing your baby into independent sleeping based on their age and needs. It was a bit of information overload to read about the various stages at once, so I imagine it'll be helpful to re-visit as we encounter major milestones. It felt like a great starting point for me as a soon-to-be first time mom.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

A straightforward guide to sleep training—in particular, using the cry-it-out method. Kennedy does include some slightly more gentle approaches as well. I’d like to read a sleep behavior book with an opposite perspective before deciding what to do for my own child, but this was rather convincing. I’d recommend it to anyone considering sleep training.

[Jessie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is great and terrible! The first few chapters are full of useful tips and knowledge. Great advice to not keep the baby awake for more than 90 minutes, get them to sleep by any means necessary, work on sleep hygiene.

Terrible anecdotes! I was very disturbed but the story of a baby who was cosleeping (nothing wrong with that!) and the author was proud she was able to help the parent get the baby out of their bed and into a SWING?! UNSUPERVISED? My mind was blown. A baby cannot spend the night alone sleeping in a swing good lord.

As for the rest of the book, same old stuff. Leave the baby in the room to cry their little eyes out all night long. Who cares it’s probably not traumatizing for them, at least you don’t have to wake up and feed them because they know you won’t come so they stop calling for you.

Overall not a bad read though, I’d take the information with a grain of salt and just read the first half!

[Patrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is humorously irrelevant to our current newborn stage (basically it says "good luck with that" lol) but has some nice tips and tricks that will become more relevant soon. I've skimmed it and will return to it as necessary. Although really you can get more customized thorough sleep advice at this point from an LLM, especially a tailored one like I've been using.

[Shey Olten campa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes! Our baby started sleeping so much better!!! We did extinction method and used tips from the book and it started helping right away and now he sleeps 11 hours straight and takes 2 naps about an hour in bed each time...

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great, flexible advice. I just wish the book was easier to dip into (her advice builds on previous chapters, so you really need to read cover to cover) and that there was more discussion of naps, separate from night sleep.

[Loren Mueller · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's too long for what she was trying to say. I felt like she added a bunch of strategies for the sake of saying they were in the book, when really she believes extinction method is the only sure-fire one. Also for being written by a PhD there are way more anecdotal claims than research based.

[Michaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

A practical, no bullshit guide to the minefield of baby sleep. Well structured, which is helpful for cognitively impaired new parents .) What I missed is linking most of the recommendations to actual studies, as the book claims to be "extensively researched".

[Renada Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish I would have read earlier in my parenting journey! When at at six months my third kid was still waking every couple hours I knew we needed to do something. So grateful for this recommendation from a friend!

[Chris F · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay so maybe I didn't completely finish this book and maybe Hollis had to step in to help but it was a great guide and spot on with most of the applicable advice. I will recommend this book highly to anyone with questions about sleep training.

[Piret Pert]

Cry-it-out method is clearly not my preference and to know that you have to read about it. Now it's done.