It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health

The Family Library

by Robie H. Harris, Michael Emberley (Illustrator)

"Alternately playful and realistic, Emberley's. . . . art reinforces Harris's message that bodies come in all sizes, shapes, and colors—and that each variation is 'perfectly normal.'"
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

When young people have questions about sex, real answers can be hard to find. Providing accurate, unbiased answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and AIDS, It's Perfectly Normal offers young people the information they need—now more than ever—to make responsible decisions and to stay healthy. Already used as a trusted resource in twenty-five countries around the world (and translated into twenty-one languages), It's Perfectly Normal marks its tenth anniversary with a thoroughly updated edition that includes the latest information on such topics as birth control, hepatitis, HIV, and adoption, among others. This definitive new edition also reflects the recent input of parents, teachers, librarians, clergy, scientists, health professionals, and young readers themselves.

Back matter includes an index and a note to the reader.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Banned Books, Childrens, Science, Sexuality, Health

96 pages, Paperback

First published September 5, 1994

About the author

Robie H. Harris has written many award-winning books for children of all ages, including the definitive Family Library about sexuality: IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL, IT'S SO AMAZING!, and IT'S NOT THE STORK! She lives in Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Maede · Rating 5 out of 5]

خاطراتی از کمتر از چهارده سالگی

یک. کامپیوتر رو روشن می‌کنم. یک فولدر روی دسکتاپه. اولین پورن‌های زندگیم رو می‌بینم‌. اولین تصورم از رابطه جنسی. چهار سرباز به یک زن تجاوز می‌کنند. یک دختر سیزده ساله باکرگیش رو از دست میده. یک زن با اعضای بدن اغراق شده ناله می‌کنه. حالم بد میشه و تا مدت‌ها ترس همه وجودم رو می‌گیره

دو. با بدبختی دارم سعی می‌کنم از کتاب «کشف بدن انسان» سر در بیارم که بچه از کجا به دنیا میاد. با دخترداییم عکس‌های ناواضح کتاب رو ساعت‌ها تحلیل می‌کنیم

سه. از کتابخانه‌ی خونه یک سری کتاب پیدا می‌کنم چون سوالات بدون جواب زیادی دارم. یکیش اسمی شبیه به «رابطه‌ی زناشویی در اسلام» یا چنین چیزی داره‌. حدیث‌های عجیب و غریبی راجع شب زفاف و آدابش می‌خونم

چهار. (نه سالگی یا کمتر) میرم کنار مامانم می‌شینم و می‌پرسم بچه‌ها چجوری تو شکم مامان‌ها درست می‌شن. میگه پاشو برو دیگه این سوال رو نپرس

این‌ها و هزاران تجربه‌ی دیگه به من نشان داده که اگر با یک کودک یا نوجوان مستقیم در مورد مسائل مربوط به بدن و مسائل جنسی صحبت نشه، ممکنه از بدترین و نامطمئن‌ترین منابع -اینترنت، دوستان و کتاب‌های اشتباه- این اطلاعات رو به غلط‌ترین شکل ممکن دریافت کنه. اونوقت این تفکرات اشتباه یا در تمام طول زندگیش بهش صدمه می‌زنه، یا باید به سختی درستش رو یاد بگیره. خب چرا از اول این آموزش صحیح اتفاق نیوفته؟ چون والد موذبه؟ چون چشم و گوش بچه باز میشه؟ خبر اینه که بچه در هر صورت می‌بینه و می‌شنوه و ما نمی‌تونیم جلوی این اتفاق رو بگیریم

این کتاب در این وظیفه‌ی مهم به والدین کودکان و نوجوانان بالای ده سال کمک می‌کنه. کتاب محتوای کاملی در مورد همه‌ی موضوعات مربوط به بدن داره. زبان کتاب در عین علمی بودن، ساده و پر از توضیح و تکراره

همچنین نقاشی‌هایی از بدن‌های برهنه، اندام‌های جنسی و رابطه جنسی هم داره که بچه‌ها لازم نباشه به قوه‌ی تخیل رجوع کنند، هرچند که این تصاویر به هیچ وجه حالت پورنوگرافیک ندارند. در مورد مسئله پریود و لقاح هم همه چیز با تصویرگری‌های بسیار بامزه نشان داده شده

مسائلی که در کتاب بررسی میشه
تفاوت جنسیت زن و مرد
تولید مثل
میل جنسی
رابطه‌ی جنسی
ال‌جی‌بی‌تی
انواع بدن انسان
بیرون و درون اندام جنسی زنانه
بیرون و درون اندام جنسی مردانه
حرف زدن در مورد مسائل جنسی
بلوغ زنان (پریود)
بلوغ مردان (خواب‌های خیس)
مراقبت کردن از بدن
احساسات جدید در بلوغ
خودارضایی
خانواده‌ها و مراقبت از کودکان
ژن و کروموزوم
بغل، بوسه و رابطه جنسی
بارداری
زایمان
روش‌های دیگر بچه‌دار شدن
تصمیمات برای نداشتن رابطه جنسی یا پیشگیری از بارداری
سقط جنین
نحوه سالم استفاده از اینترنت
سواستفاده جنسی
بیماری‌های جنسی

راستش من خودم هم خیلی از این کتاب یاد گرفتم و فکر می‌کنم حتی بزرگسالان هم اطلاعات کافی ندارند. من نه مادرم، نه با کودکان کار می‌کنم، برای همین نمی‌دونم سن درست معرفی این مسائل به کودکان چه زمانی هست. به نظرم پدر و مادر می‌تونند بخش‌هایی که با توجه به سن فرزندشون و تشخیص خودشون لازمه رو از کتاب انتخاب کنند

جالبه که با اینکه بیشتر از بیست ساله که این کتاب چاپ شده و از محبوب‌ترین کتاب‌های آموزش جنسی به حساب میاد، هنوز هم در بسیاری از ایالات آمریکا بودنش در کتابخانه ممنوعه و افراد مذهبی و سنتی به شدت باهاش مخالفن که البته با توجه به محتوا و تصاویر تعجبی هم نداره

در آخر بگم که چقدر من اسم و پیام این کتاب رو دوست دارم: این کاملاً نرماله

کانال تلگرامم که این کتاب‌ رو آپلود کردم و ریویوها رو هم می‌گذارم
Maede's Books

۱۴۰۲/۴/۱۴

[Shaghayegh · Rating 5 out of 5]

به شقایق کوچک سال‌ها پیش
می‌دونم از خودت متنفری. از دوستات واهمه داری و از خونواده‌ات بیزاری. می‌دونم وقتی از مدرسه برمی‌گردی، چطور با کلمات زهرآلودی که بهت زدن رنجیده‌خاطر میشی. می‌فهمم انقدری با همه رو هستی که دلت می‌خواست دورو باشی و آرزو می‌کردی کاش تو هم بدونی که اون رازهای مگو و پچ‌پچ‌هایی که تو کلاس می‌کنن بابت چیه. پی ببری که برای چی مسخره میشی و چرا هیچ‌کس بابت این احساس مزخرفی که بهت دست میده جوابی نمیده.
می‌دونم چقدر برات سخته که باورت نکنن و بهت بگن اون یارو اذیتت می‌کنه؟! اون که همسن پدرت هست! و تو ندونی به کی باید پناه ببری تا از شر هامبرت‌های زندگیت خلاص شی. من گریه‌های شبانه‌ات رو دیدم. احساس ترسی که با خونین شدن شلوارت تجربه کردی رو لمس کردم.
تو هیچ ایده‌ای نداشتی که چرا اون مرد، هر از گاهی جلوی مدرسه سبز می‌شد و شلوارش رو پایین می‌آورد. نمی‌فهمیدی چرا همکلاسیت رو مدام احضار می‌کنن و تو مخیله‌ات نمی‌گنجید که دوست داشتن به هم‌جنس هم می‌تونه وجود داشته باشه.
تو محدود شدی و نخواستن دنیات وسعت پیدا کنه. تصویر یه آدم واقعی هم تو کتابای درسیت سانسور کردن تا بیشتر گه‌گیجه بگیری که اون پایین مایین‌ها اصلا چه خبر هست.
اما می‌خوام بهت بگم خودت رو ملامت نکن که چرا انقدر نمی‌دونی. احساس گناه بابت چیزهایی که برات نرمال نکردن، نکن. خودت رو دوست داشته باش. آدم‌ها رو فراری نده و به خاطر ندانسته‌هاشون، موجبات گوشه‌گیریشون رو فراهم نکن. درسته نامهربون بودن اما نذار چرک و کثافتشون بهت سرایت کنه و تو هم یه عوضی به تمام معنا بشی.
وقتی بزرگ شدی پی می‌بری که چقدر مسخره موجبات به گند کشیدن شاید بهترین سال‌های زندگیت رو فراهم کردن. می‌گذره دختر ساده‌دل از همه جا بی‌خبر اما یکم طول می‌کشه تا همه چی برات واضح بشه. فعلا از پشت اون هاله‌ی سمج اشک‌آلود چیزی نمی‌بینی اما به مرور به خشکسالی چشم‌های همیشه گریانت دچار میشی و اون وقت هست که می‌فهمی آدمیزاد چقدر به خودش ظلم می‌کنه.
حیف که نمی‌تونم تو زمان سفر کنم و این کتاب رو بهت هدیه بدم. ای کاش کسی بود که برات می‌خوند و غم سنگینی که رو شونه‌های کوچیکت به دوش می‌کشیدی رو کم می‌کرد. اصلا دنیا به آخر می‌رسید اگه فقط یه نفر بغلت می‌کرد؟ عیبی نداره. مگه کدوممون گذشته‌ی همه چی تمومی داشتیم؟ تا بوده همین بوده اما نمیذارم همین‌طور بمونه. می‌خوام برای کسی که از ناآگاهی رنج می‌کشیده این کتاب رو بخونم تا عادی‌سازی کنم که چطور با خودش، بدنش و آدم‌های دیگه مهربون باشه. چطور تابوشکنی کنه و از منطقه‌ی به ظاهر امنی که براش ساختن بیرون بیاد. حتی اگه فقط یک نفر رو بتونم از این جهل بیرون بیارم خودش کلی هست.
از طرف بهترین و تنهاترین رفیقت
یعنی خودت

از مائده خیلی ممنونم که باعث شد بخونمش و به قصد آموزش‌دادن به دیگران، در آینده بارها بهش برگردم.

[Dolly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Warning to parents: I highly recommend that parents read this book or at least preview the chapters to fully understand all of the topics that are covered. Selectively choosing the sections that a child is mature enough to understand will make this book a handy reference. Older children (likely middle grade and older) can read the book independently, with parents standing by to answer questions. I recommend that parents read this book with their tweens (the book recommends ages 10 and up.)

Our girls were quite vocal about what sections they wanted to skip. And I did not push, since they are still rather young and we can go back and read those sections at a later time. Neither is really at the stage where these topics concern them much, but as they and their friends and classmates get older, I know that there will be playground talk and I want them to know the truth. I remember my dad explaining some of this information to me when I was pretty young. I don't think I understood it all or even really was interested, but I did know when I heard foolish talk on the bus.

Overall, we thought this was a very detailed and informative book about our bodies, our health and sex. It has plenty of illustrations to show the various concepts and while it's accurate, it's not overwhelming. I like that the images are drawn, rather than photographs, and I think the comic strip pages are particularly effective at making the science palatable for young minds. We really enjoyed reading this book together, even if we were all a bit uncomfortable at times.

We took it slowly, just covering a topic or two on any given night and taking nights off in between reading sessions, so our girls weren't overwhelmed by the content. I think that I will want them to have an opportunity to read this book again at a later time (maybe a year or two), perhaps independently, so they can better absorb the material. It's an excellent resource.

[Angi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Waaay to graphic for a 10 year old, or even a young teenager. All of the written work is very good and scientific. But I do not think a 10 year old should have a step by step description of the act of sex. Also, it seems to take the view that you will see many different naked people throughout your life. There were waaaaaaay to many cartoons of naked people. I was uncomfortable with it. I don't think there is anything wrong with only seeing your spouse and children naked. It was just to much. People were naked when they didn't need to be. Which takes away from the good writing. I also don't think you need cartoons of adults having sex. It just doesn't seem appropriate. If you are encouraging your children to wait to have sex until they are married, this is probably not the book for you.

***6/14/2023- I still feel the same. I think the earlier books are a bit better. But I also think it depends on when your kids are going through puberty. Mine were all 13-14, so this material was too graphic for them at earlier ages. Ultimately it depends on your family.

[Emtiaj · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had I been asked to express my feeling in a single word, I would say, 'WOW!' Actually, that one word depict this book. And, I do recommend this book to everyone! (Age does matter, though.)





এই ছবিদুইটা পৃথিবীর অন্যতম সুন্দর দুইটা ছবি। এবং এগুলো দেখে হলে প্রশ্ন জাগা স্বাভাবিক, আমরা কিভাবে আসলাম? আমাদের আন���র জন্য আমাদের বাবা-মাদের কী কী পরিবর্তনের মধ্য দিয়ে আসতে হয়েছে? এই যে এগুলো জানার চেষ্টায় যে পড়া, ওটাই যে যৌনশিক্ষা। এটা খুবই স্বাভাবিক একটা ব্যাপার। কিন্তু এই স্বাভাবিক ব্যাপারটার মধ্যে কেন লজ্জা বা লুকোচুরি থাকে সেটা আমার ছোট্ট মস্তিষ্কে আসে না।

ছোট্ট একটা প্রশ্ন দিয়ে বইটা শুরু। সেক্স শব্দের মানে কী? উপসংহারে আসা হল এভাবে, সেক্স মানে হচ্ছে পছন্দের মানুষের প্রতি এক ধরণের অনুভূতি, সেক্স মানে ইন্টারকোর্স, সেক্স মানে বাবা-মা হওয়া, সেক্স মানে তুমি ছেলে নাকি মেয়ে সেটা, সেক্স মানে আরো অনেককিছু। এবং সেক্স নিয়ে, নিজেদের শরীর নিয়ে কথা বলার মধ্যে যে কিচ্ছু অস্বাভাবিকতা নেই সেটাই পৃষ্ঠার পর পৃষ্ঠায় বলা হয়েছে। ওইযে তোত্তো-চান বইয়ে আছে না? হেডমাস্টারমশাই ছেলেমেয়েদের বোঝাতে চাইতেন যে আসলে সমস্ত শরীরই সুন্দর। হেডমাস্টারমশাই চাইতেন যে ছেলেমেয়েদের নিজেদের শরীর নিয়ে কোন দ্বিধা, কোন লজ্জা যেন না থাকে, ওদের যেন কখনো নিজেদের ছোট বা দুর্বল মনে না হয়।

কিভাবে আসলাম এই একটা প্রশ্নের পর একটা সময় আসে যখন অনেকগুলো প্রশ্ন মনে জাগে। সময়টা বয়ঃসন্ধিকাল। এই বইয়ের সবচেয়ে সুন্দর দিক হচ্ছে এর কাউন্সেলিং। খুবই সহজভাবে বয়ঃসন্ধিকাল নিয়ে বোঝানো হয়েছে। হরমোনের প্রভাবে যে ছেলেমেয়েদের শারীরিক বিভিন্ন পরিবর্তন আসে সেটা যে কারো কারো আগেই আসতে পারে আর কারোর ক্ষেত্রে দেরিতে আসতেই পারে এবং ওর এরকম হচ্ছে আমারতো এরকম হচ্ছে না বা আমাকে সবাই ক্ষেপায় কেন এ নিয়ে, এগুলো নিয়ে যে উদ্বিগ্ন হওয়ার কিছু নেই সেটাই আমার সবচেয়ে ভালো লেগেছে। এই বইয়ের আরো একটা ভালো দিক হচ্ছে এর সহনশীলতা। এর LGBT চ্যাপ্টারটা পড়লেই বোঝা যায়।

যৌনাঙ্গ নিয়ে বিস্তারিত আছে। এর বিভিন্ন অংশগুলোর পরিচিতি, এদের কাজ, শুক্রাণু-ডিম্বাণু আসলে কি, মেনস্‌ট্রুয়্যাল সাইকেল কি, এ সময়ে কি করতে হবে, মাস্টারবেশ্‌ন, সারকামসিশ্‌ন আসলেই দরকার আছে নাকি। নানা রকম প্রচলিত কুসংস্কারকে ঝেঁটিয়ে বিদায় করা হয়েছে। এ বইয়ে একটা কথা বারবার বলা হয়েছে, যদি তোমার মনে কোন প্রশ্ন আসে তবে বিশ্বস্ত কাউকে জিজ্ঞেস কর, সে হতে পারে তোমার বাবা, মা, তোমার ভাই বা বোন বা টিচার বা প্রতিবেশী। প্রশ্ন কর, মনের মধ্যে লুকিয়ে রেখোনা।

কিভাবে বাচ্চার জন্ম হয় সেটা বেশ বড় চ্যাপ্টার। আমার মনে হয় এত বড় চ্যাপ্টারের কোন দরকার ছিল না। বইটা ১০+ বছরের বাচ্চাদের জন্য লেখা। কতভাবে ইন্টারকোর্স করা যায় সেটা বলার কোন মানে হয় না। এবং আমার ধারণা এই কারণে অনেক বাবা-মাই বইটা তাদের বাচ্চাকে পড়তে দিবে না। ব্যাপারটা দুঃখজনক। ভ্যাজাইনাল বার্থ, ব্রিচ বার্থ, সিজারিয়ান বার্থ, ফোরসেপ বার্থ ইত্যাদি অনেক ধরণের বার্থ ব্যাখ্যার কোন দরকার নেই বলেই আমি মনে করি। অ্যাবোরস্‌ন নিয়ে মোটামুটি বড় একটা চ্যাপ্টার। আমেরিকার আইন নিয়ে আছে। এটাও দরকার নেই বলে মনে করি। কিন্তু যেটা বলার দরকার সেটা হচ্ছে, এই বইয়ের ভাষা সংযত।

এই যে ইন্টারকোর্স নিয়ে বললাম, পরবর্তীতে আছে, যেভাবেই ইন্টারকোর্স করা হোক না কেন বিভিন্ন রোগ ছড়ানোর সম্ভাবনা কিন্তু রয়েই যায়। এই যেমন এইডস, হেপাটাইটিস, গনোরিয়া। সো আসলে ওটার দরকার ছিল বলেই মনে হয়। প্রতিকার, প্রতিরোধ, বিভিন্ন সমস্যা নিয়ে বেশ ভালো রকমের লেখা আছে। সেটা বয়ঃসন্ধিকালের সমস্যা থেকে শুরু করে বাচ্চা নেয়া ঠিক হবে কি হবে না, সঠিক সময় কোনটা, জন্ম নিয়ন্ত্রণ ইত্যাদি ইত্যাদি। এইডস নিয়ে তো একটা চ্যাপ্টারই আছে।

চাইল্ড এবিউস নিয়ে আছে। একটু অসম্পূর্ণ মনে হল। দরকারি সব কথাই প্রায় আছে কিন্তু কি যেন নেই। ভালো ব্যাপার হচ্ছে নেটে চমৎকার একটা লেখা পাওয়া যায়।

প্রযুক্তির খারাপ দিকটাও তুলে ধরা হয়েছে। (Internet Safety) প্রশ্নের উত্তর খুঁজতে গিয়ে যে অনেক সময় খারাপ কিছুর সাথে পরিচিত হয়ে যাচ্ছে সেটা রোখা যায় কিভাবে? এবং এর ফলে যে ভুল শিক্ষাও পাওয়া যাচ্ছে সেটাই বা দূর করা যাবে কিভাবে? এটা খুব চমৎকার একটা চ্যাপ্টার। এখানে যা লেখা আছে বিশেষ করে প্রাইভেসি নিয়ে সেটা অনেক সময় বড়দের মাঝেও দেখা যায় না। আফসোস।

এই বইয়ের ছবিগুলো খুব সুন্দর। রঙ পেন্সিলের কাজ আমার মারাত্মক ভালো লাগে কি না! এই ধরণের বইয়ের ন্যুডিটি থাকবেই। কিন্তু কথা হচ্ছে সেটা কতটুকু? ওয়েল, অধিকাংশই ঠিকমত আছে। কিন্তু লেবার রুমে একজন মেয়ের টপলেস ছবি কিছুতেই গ্রহণযোগ্য না। দুইটা ছেলে মেয়ে ইন্টারকোর্স করছে, সেটা বোঝানোর জন্য কি কার্টুনের দরকার আছে?

আমেরিকার ১০ বছরের বাচ্চাদের জন্য এই বই প্রযোজ্য কি না জানিনা (আমার ধারণা, না।)। কিন্তু বাংলাদেশের এই বয়সের কাউকে কোন বাবা-মা দিবে বলে মনে হয় না। এ বইয়ের আকার আরেকটু ছোট হলে ভালো হত। মানে তথ্য মাঝে মাঝে একটু বেশিই হয়ে গিয়েছে। ও আচ্ছা, একটা কথা বলা হয়নি, বইটা পুরোপুরি সায়েন্টিফিক।

এই বইয়ে, এই বইয়ের পাঠক হচ্ছে একটা পাখি আর মৌমাছি। তাদের কথাবার্তা গুলো খুবই সুন্দর। মাঝে মাঝে যখন অনেক বলে ফেলা হয় তখন বলে উঠে, ওফ, আর জানার দরকার নেই!



কমিক আকারে কয়েকটা ঘটনার বর্ণনা আছে। যেমন শুক্রাণুর জীবন চক্র, ডিম্বাণুর জীবন চক্র, বাচ্চার জন্ম এবং শেষেরটা, যেটা আমি সবাইকে পড়তে বলবো।

*এতো তথ্য দিল কিন্তু কোন কোন মেয়ে যে হাইমেন মেমব্রেন ছাড়াই জন্ম নিতে পারে তা বলা হল না কেন সেটা বুঝতে পারলাম না।
*ইন্টারকোর্স করলেই তো বাবা-মা হওয়া হয় না, নির্দিষ্ট সময়ে করলে হয়। সে বিষয়ে আরেকটু স্পষ্টভাবে বলা উচিৎ ছিল।

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

We just got a replacement edition at my library of this classic book on sexual health for pre-teens and teens, so I thought I'd take a minute and review it.

I'm please that they have added an updated chapter on LGBTQ+ identities to this edition. I do have some quibbles with the authors' handling of transgender people, however. The way they define transgender is: "A transgender person is someone who crosses from the gender that person was born with to the opposite gender, or as some say, to the other gender." It also uses "born in a male body but feels female" type phrasing. These days, the preferred phrasing by transgender people tends to be "assigned male at birth" as opposed to "born in a male body."

I do like that it mentions that not everyone who is transgender feels this way from birth, and it mentions nonbinary identities (although without using the term "nonbinary").

Other than covering transgender issues in that one chapter, there's not really much mention of being transgender in the rest of the book. So for the most part penis = male, uterus = female. Since not everyone who has a penis is male and not everyone who has a uterus is female (and not all women have uteruses), it would be nice to see more acknowledgement of this.

In spite of my quibbles, this remains one of the best books on puberty and sexual health out there, and taken as a whole I would not hesitate to use it alongside other, less cis-focused books.

[شاهین غمگسار · Rating 5 out of 5]

به خیالم این کتاب نه‌تنها باید ترجمه شود، که باید در تیراژ میلیونی به سرتاسر این مملکت ارسال شود. به بهداری‌ها، مراکز بهداشت، آزمایشگاه‌ها و واحدهای آموزشی پیش از ازدواج، مدارس، مساجد، حتی دانشگاه‌ها. (حتماً این کار با بسیج ملی و فرمان رهبری به سرانجام خواهد رسید!) :D
با این حال، با خود گمان می‌کنم که اگر شد، یک نسخه را دست کم خودم برای فرزند خودم ترجمه کنم تا بخواند. یا شاید انگلیسی‌اش تا 14-15 سالگی آنقدر خوب باشد که خودش به زبان اصلی بخواند.
کار به دیگر جاهای جهان ندارم، اما در ایران، حقیقتا در این حوزه ما همچون انسان‌های اولیه هستیم در مقابل کامپیوتر! مردم ایران، حتی دانش‌آموختگانش، به سبب سیطرۀ عجیب و بازدارندۀ دین، عرف و شرم، تقریبا هیچ‌چیز دربارۀ بدن، هویت جنسی، کارکرد بدن، هورمون‌ها، جنس مخالف و بدن او، بلوغ، برخوردها و مراقبت‌ها و دیگر ��سائل نمی‌دانند. تاکید می‌کنم که حتی تحصیل‌کردگانش.
نکته جالب این است که این کتاب برای قشر کودک و نوجوان نوشته شده است و چقدر بامُسمّاست نام کتاب: کاملا طبیعی‌ست. تا کوچک‌ترها دریابند که صحبت، دانستن و پرسش در این باره‌ها حقیقتاً بدیهی و طبیعی است.
من بخت‌یار بوده‌ام که دست کم پدرم یک بار از من هنگام بلوغ دربارۀ اینکه شلوارم شب‌ها خیس می‌شود یا نه، پرسید. و البته در همانجا هم متوقف شد. و من ماندم و رویاهای خیس و این یقین که حتما بیماری‌ای چیزی دارم و اینها اصلا طبیعی نیست.
بگذریم...
متن کتاب، جز در برخی از اصطلاحات بیولوژیکی یا فیزیولوژیکی، که طبیعتاً تخصصی است، دشوار نیست. این را برای آنهایی می‌گویم که احتمالا اعتمادبه‌نفس چندانی برای خواندن کتاب به انگلیسی ندارند. انگلیسی من هم شکسته‌بسته و نیم‌بند است، اما تماماً جمله‌های کتاب را می‌فهمیدم.
شرح و بسط کتاب دربارۀ بدن، سکس، تفاوت‌ها تشابهات و همه آنچه که یک انسان باید دربارۀ بدن انسان بداند، شگفت‌انگیز است.
نام کتاب به خوبی به محتوای آن اشاره می‌کند: کاملاً طبیعی‌ست: تغییرات بدن، رشد کردن، سکس و سلامت جنسی.
هیچ مقوله‌ای در حوزه سکس، بدن، بلوغ و مراقبت‌های جنسی و بهداشتی نیست که این کتاب کوچک (90 صفحه) به آن نپرداخته باشد.
از این حیث بدون شک می‌توان به چنین کتاب آگاهی‌بخشی 5 ستاره بی‌معطلی عطا کرد.
این 5 ستاره از سوی کسی داده می‌شود، که همیشه درمیان دوستان خود بیشترین آگاهی و اطلاعات درباره بدن، بلوغ و سکس را داشت. با این حال، من هم همچون میلیون‌ها ایرانی دیگر، دوره‌های کج‌نگری و ندانستگی و کم‌دانستگی را گذرانده‌ام.
اکنون هم علت خواندن این کتاب تنها این است که فرزندی دارم که باید همه دانسته‌هایم را به بهترین نحو به او منتقل کنم.
از دوست گودریدزی‌ام Maede بسیار تشکر می‌کنم که واسطۀ خواندن این کتابِ خواندنی شد.‎‌

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This cute and no-nonsense volumes covers factual information on a wide range of basic health and sex-Ed subjects, at an accessible middle school level.

I am teaching health to middle and high schoolers and I have been unhappy with the big gaps in many of the standard curricula. Even sex-Ed textbooks seem to be yucked out by any description of sex beyond something that generates pregnancies and spreads infections. But if we leave out those important conversations about why people would WANT to have sex-- attraction and arousal and pleasure-- then we risk completely missing the critical conversations that need to happen for kids to make good decisions. Kids know everybody is interested in sex-- they have eyes and ears and access to the Internet. This book explains why without grossing any one out.

So yes, this little book covers all the usual health topics very clearly: puberty, ovulation, anatomy, conception, pregnancy and disease prevention-- but it goes beyond into touchier but equally important territory-- attraction, arousal, sexual orientation, sexual touch, sexual abuse, adoption, abortion laws, and masturbation.

These are things that students think and wonder about, joke about with their friends, and they piece together understandings from mis-information and hearsay all around them, because adults generally suck at talking about the tricky stuff with their kids. This book presents ALL of this information in the same non-judgmental, factual, and equitable tone-- that cheerful directness totally deflates the taboo aura around many of these topics.

And for ages... I'd be very comfortable using this with my 7th and 8th graders, even though the tone and cute illustrations are geared slightly younger-- to 10 and 11 year olds. And the quality and clarity of the information is such that I'd happily use it with my 9-12th graders.

The one gap? No distinction is made between "sex" and "gender"-- terms which in the 20 years since the first publication of this book we as a society have come to understand in a more nuanced way. But considering that other books are entirely cis-gendered and heterosexual, this one is at least pointing in the right direction.

[Steve Kinney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I cannot believe that anyone would think that this book is appropriate for a child. Even more startling are reviewers comments supporting the exposure of this material to children. This is pornography for children, plain and simple. Parents should check with their local middle schools and learn whether or not this book (and others like it) is part of the adolescent curriculum without their knowledge and/or consent. In my view, this is the sexualization of children. Out of bounds. Parents should consider buying it, reading it, and returning it, imho.

[Teri · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title recommends this book for ten-year-olds. In my opinion definitely not. Some of the opening pages tackle masturbation and homosexual feelings--which are a little too much for a ten-year-old introduction to maturation. However, I have LOVED both the previous books in this series--
It's not the Stork
It's So Amazing

Both are fabulous! I did not think this one was appropriate for my ten-year-old.

[Vicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

TBH, I learned a few things...

[William Andrews]

Allowing trash like this book in American schools points a finger at the precipitous drop in the effectiveness of our churches teaching of the precepts of the Bible in America; eg. Where Homosexuality specifically is called a sin. The overwhelming acceptance of this carnal book is the disappointing message to the Christian community and esp to our Heavenly Father. What a shame!

[Molly Cinderella · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was instrumental during puberty for me. It had a lot of very good, age-appropriate information and includes information about masturbation, bisexuality, homosexuality, and the fact that everyone has differently shaped bodies and that's OK. There was a lot of info about the basic biology behind puberty, which was really important for 10-year-old me: the changes you go through are a lot less scary when you feel like you understand them. There was also a really beautiful page on how some families had one mommy and one daddy or two daddies or 1 grandparent or any permutation of all of the above that didn't really speak to me (growing up in a traditional nuclear family) but I imagine being very affirming for other children. The list of reasons for an abortion included "not feeling ready" - all in all this was a very progressive book for the late 90s/early 00s, which is when I read it.

The only topics I can think of that are notably absent are polyamory/trans issues - the first I think is beyond the scope of a book directed at kids going through puberty, and I think the second has been included in later editions of the book.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

A condensed look at sexual education that looks at so much and answers questions all teens and tweens ask at this time in their life.
Plus it's a frequently banned book so I just HAD to read it.
As a librarian, a rule of thumb is when asked. "Is this appropriate for children?" or "all these books are okay for kids to read right?" is that these books are geared towards a juvenile audience, but they may or may not be appropriate for your child. Please read first as a parent and then decided base on your child, your feelings and your lifestyle what you want to discuss.
Read the book with your child so you can talk about the subject that come up. And yes I agree that you might not want to talk about everything in the book. I'm not sure if I would want to discuss abortion options or STDs yet if I'm just starting to talk to my younger son/daughter about the changes of puberty. (That's why it's in the beginning of the book)

Let your child know that this is a book that you and them look at together. Not alone were they might be come confused, or more than likely, just make immature comments and opinions about what they see and read.

The illustration are well done. Yes at time I thought to myself they were very cartoon-ish, but I guess when it comes to illustration the naked body in adolescences, rather stick to cute than go more realistic and become borderline offensive (and awkward )

[Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

After my wife died I realized that while I had expected to be at least present, and available for any questions our daughter might have in regards to sex that it would be my wife who would take the lead. Of course, that’s not an option any longer. My daughter is two, we’re working on describing feelings, and toilet training. Next we will be learning to write her name. But, time gets away. It’s better to be prepared.
Per the cover, this book was written for 10 year olds though it’s not really a book for ten year olds it’s a book for ten year olds and their parents. The book is also teaching parents how to communicate frankly and clearly.
Admittedly, it was hard for me to read this book. I don’t have Victorian sensibilities. Even still I was very uncomfortable. But, I finished it. I set it down and I thought about. I picked it up and went through it again. Then I thought about it some more. I’ve got a background in the classics and I thought about some of the various amphora that have been excavated and are on display in public museums right now.
The link below for instance depicts an Attic amphora from 540 BCE on display at the British Museum:

https://www.britishmuseum.org/collect...

I’d like to take my daughter to the British Museum someday. While there we very well might see this vase which depicts same-sex desire. The vase in question is far more graphic than anything in this book and the vase is considered a relic, harmless to everyone and anyone. At any given time I can turn on the television and see staged murders or rape and a lot of these air on networks during the day when children can (and often are) watching. This book is decidedly less graphic than any of that.
Baseline, I learned a lot from this book. Even if I never share it with my daughter in eight or nine years I think it was still important that I, as a parent, read it since it will help me better communicate with her.

[Duane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book to give anyone who is suffering the times of change that most adolescents go through. Filled with great illustrations and real-world information, this book holds nothing back. Is it too graphic? I don't think so. Is it too much for younger kids? You bet it is, but for those who are entering puberty and past, this book should be in their hands immediately. Every library should have this book in their collection to help youngsters understand their bodies. And personally, if you find this book too liberal or graphic, you scare me.

[Carol · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yuck, this book is horrible. Abby wanted to read it so, I checked it out for her. Needless to say she can learn about her abortion options and how to use contraceptives at a later date. (She did not read it)..not the right book for us now or later.

[Amanda N · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is pornographic material and child grooming material.it would be abusive to put in the hands of a child. No one needs this. Disgusted that someone would write this and that it would be published, printed etc.

[Kourtney Williams · Rating 1 out of 5]

Extremely pedophilic and should be banned not taught in schools with our tax dollars!

[Dena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Summary: This book is a guide for parents to open a dialogue with their child about sex. It covers subjects such as sexual activity, birth control, gender issues, body parts, and puberty.
Personal Reaction: I’d like to start by saying that I went to a bookstore and five libraries before I found this book, which is kept on reserve at Newton Grisham Library. Quite frankly, I don’t understand what the big deal is in regards to this book. Why is this a book that so many feel should be banned in most libraries? With the number of teenage pregnancies in this state (and in the counties in which I work and reside) this is a book that should be required reading in the fourth or fifth grades. This work is an honest and open look at sex. Children have questions, and children need answers that are direct and honest. I believe that one of the reasons children become so confused about sexual activity and their own sexual identity is because parents are not honest with their children. If a parent needs help talking to their child, this is the book. If a child is not getting the answers they need from their parents, this is the book. Of course sex is an area that no parent feels comfortable discussing with their child, but honesty and information is key in preparing a child to grow into a sexually informed and responsible adult.
Classroom Extension: While I can’t see using this book in an English classroom, I do feel it would be appropriate to use in science or health classes beginning with the fourth or fifth grade. Rather than reading the entire book to the class, I would have students anonymously submit questions that they need to have answered, either out of their own curiosity or because they are afraid to approach their parents. Then, I would use the text to answer each question.

[Beth Cato · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can see why this book may be deemed "offensive" by some. It is very blunt in how it addresses sexuality. There are many drawings of naked people of all ages and shapes and races; I don't see this as a bad thing, though. Everything builds towards the message of the very title of the book--it's perfectly normal to have a body with these parts, and have them do certain things, or to have intense dreams with bodily responses, etc. This is intended for a middle grade audience, and offers a simply-stated approach to try to alleviate kids' fears.

Even when the artwork shows people straddling each other, it's the kind of thing you'll see on midday TV these days, only this book introduces information about sexual consequences like STD and pregnancy, too. I see It's Perfectly Normal as a good starting point for an honest conversation where a family can then discuss their beliefs and answer questions. This book was certainly more informative and honest than the sex ed course I took back in high school (which came too late for a lot of kids, anyway).

[Gomez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic work by these authors! I gotta say, the people who are trashing this book are probably the very same people who are terrified of their children ever learning anything about sex. Yes, for most reasonably mature 10 year olds, the info in this book is appropriate for them because you actually want your kids to have CORRECT information about these topics BEFORE they start collecting erroneous information from their friends or the internet. These authors collaborated with dozens of experts to provide our youngsters with information about sex, puberty, sexual reproduction, STDs/STI's, contraception, sexual abuse, internet safety, pregnancy, masturbation and more. I wish I had access to this book as an adolescent. Absolutely fantastic read! All these puritanical religious zealots aren't doing their kids any favors by denying them this very age appropriate and factual information.

[elise]

i love when people are upset

[Robert Beveridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Robie H. Harris, It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health 2/E (Candlewick, 2004)

I was a kid in the seventies, and at the time, sex-ed manuals for kids were pretty bland stuff. Sure, they had funny illustrations and got the point across, but information was the order of the day, and it was all designed to let you know that all those changes your body was going through were normal. You weren't alone. Robie Harris' controversial, but very entertaining, It's Perfectly Normal has the same message, but the tone is entirely different. This is inclusive and welcoming, with much of the interest coming from a couple of straight men (a bird and a bee, appropriately) who wander through the book making wisecracks at each other's expense. They're worth the price of admission alone. One you get past that, this is your basic sex ed for kids manual, and it reads much the same as the ones I had back in the day. I did think that there were a few times Harris went a bit far out of her way to get the “it's perfectly normal” message across (how many times can you hear that phrase repeated in the space of ninety pages without wanting to tear your hair out?), but if you have to be annoyed by having the same message repeated over and over, I guess this is a pretty good one to be annoyed with. The illustrations are funny without being demeaning, the text is about as age-appropriate as you can get considering the subject, and it's done a great job of angering all the groups one would expect to be angered by a book of this stripe; how much more can you ask? *** ½

[L · Rating 5 out of 5]

An astonishingly informative and honest book about puberty, changing bodies, and changing feelings. It explains *why* these things happen and *how* they happen and where the terms we use for them originate. Very honest about babies and how utterly exhausting they can be and worked into the section about postponing sex. I like the way that was handled: that one does not have to refuse permanently (abstinence), and one can choose to postpone until the time of one's choice when one feels it appropriate to have sex. Also, this addresses the definitions of trans and gender fluidity in a respectful way.

I wish I'd had a book like this to read instead of the one my mom gave me about God creating all of us like apples.

I think something like this is needed for anyone going through puberty. Not sharing this depth of information with them is like a parent not sharing the home address and then dropping the kid off into a city to find their own way home. This book gives them the resources to have a fighting chance at having a healthy puberty.

[Maggie Mattmiller · Rating 2 out of 5]

Chose this one only for a reading challenge (banned book), so not sure how to rank it. Very clear information for young people wanting to learn about changing bodies/sex... Cartoon pictures that are clear/explicit but, cartoons... (My husband was very weirded out by the cartoons...) But I can see it being used as a tool for parents when they want to teach their child about changing bodies/puberty.

[Yiota Misiou · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Ας μιλήσουμε για το σεξ" , όπως αποδόθηκε ο τίτλος του βιβλίου στα ελληνικά και κυκλοφορεί από τις εκδόσεις ΠΑΤΑΚΗ.
Ένα βιβλίο που καλύπτει τα θέματα γύρω από το σεξ με τρόπο απόλυτα ευθύ, διδακτικό, ειλικρινές, υπεύθυνο, κατανοητό και χωρίς αναστολές. Για παιδιά ηλικίας 10-14 χρόνων, αλλά και οδηγός για τους γονείς που ψάχνουν τρόπους για να ενημερώσουν τα παιδιά τους για θέματα όπως η ανάπτυξη, οι αλλαγές στο σώμα, το σεξ και η σεξουαλική υγεία.
Το κείμενο συνοδεύεται από λεπτομερή εικονογράφηση σε στυλ κόμικς που το κάνει φιλικό και όχι στεγνό και αποστειρωμένο.

[Nicole Lindquist · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cover doesn’t indicate it but Faith and I read the UPDATED addition together. It also discusses gender identity, lgbtq, and consent. Very good for a guided conversation about sex and sexuality. We had a rule: ask me all the questions and no question is a stupid one. Will continue to use this with our two younger kiddos when they get older. Got it from the Bookworm!

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book from the library for my son to read around the time he started middle school. I read it first of course and think it is good for 11 years or so. It has illustrations not photos which makes it seem less graphic. There are comic strips throughout mainly with two birds, one enthusiastic and one reluctant, that keep the topic light-hearted and normal, as in the book's title.

It is interesting to read the different reviews of this book, and I also read these before checking out the book. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and of course there are strong opinions when it concerns our kids and parenting choices.

There are illustrations of various naked people and I believe that is so young readers can feel more secure with whatever type of body they have and to realize that people of different shapes and sizes can and do feel comfortable with their bodies. Does it encourage sex? I would say it does not discourage it but rather lays out the facts of birth control, STDs, becoming a parent. Also since the target age is pretty young they are hopefully not ready for sex so I see this book more as a friendly guide to things the readers have already been wondering about, or will be exposed to shortly by older schoolmates, siblings, media, etc.

Throughout the book it is explained how all of the physical and emotional changes that young people go through is their bodies getting ready for sex. Personally I think that the people going through these changes should not be denied some honest explanations like the ones found in this book.

My son read the whole book even the girl parts in one sitting. Afterwards he didn't want to talk about it too much but later I did bring up a couple things from the book and I feel like we are on the same page and can both be more comfortable discussing topics pertaining to sex.

[Alison · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health is a book for young adults about the physical and emotional changes one’s body goes through during puberty. Harris and Emberley also detail different perspectives on families and offer health advice.
It’s perfectly normal has very straight-forward text that could be easily grasped by younger middle school students. In fact, older students may feel patronized by the simplicity of the text. Illustrations of a bird and a bee, along with their dialogue appear though out the book. The other illustrations are cartoonish, but do portray a multitude a varying body types. The diagrams are accurate and not too hand drawn looking to detract from their informative nature. The book is sectioned into 6 major parts, such as “What is sex?” and “Our Bodies”. Each major part then has various subsections within. The authors not only describe the physical changes one goes through during puberty, but also delves into the emotional aspects. I think this would be helpful to younger readers who may not understand adults’ motivations for having sex. I did feel the authors overused the word “sexy”. It is not a term most younger readers would really be able to relate to (one would hope), and would require further explanation. With it’s occasionally graphic illustrations and racy topic, it is one of the most frequently banned books in the U.S. It’s Perfectly Normal is a very informative book, and would be useful to young adult readers. Despite the controversy, it is a book I would put in my library.