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Lose You to Find Me
Tommy Dees is in the weeds—restaurant speak for beyond overwhelmed. He’s been working as a server at Sunset Estates retirement community to get the experience he needs to attend one of the best culinary schools in the world. And to make his application shine, he also needs a letter of recommendation from his sadistic manager. But in exchange for the letter, Tommy has to meet three conditions—including training the new hire.
What he doesn’t expect is for the newbie to be an old crush: Gabe, with the dimples and kind heart, who Tommy fell for during summer camp at age ten and then never saw again. Unfortunately, Gabe doesn’t remember Tommy at all. The training proves distracting as old feelings resurface, and the universe seems to be conspiring against them.
With the application deadline looming and Gabe on his mind, Tommy is determined to keep it all together—but what if life isn’t meant to follow a recipe?
What he doesn’t expect is for the newbie to be an old crush: Gabe, with the dimples and kind heart, who Tommy fell for during summer camp at age ten and then never saw again. Unfortunately, Gabe doesn’t remember Tommy at all. The training proves distracting as old feelings resurface, and the universe seems to be conspiring against them.
With the application deadline looming and Gabe on his mind, Tommy is determined to keep it all together—but what if life isn’t meant to follow a recipe?
377 pages, Paperback
First published May 2, 2023
190 people are currently reading
11915 people want to read
About the author
Erik J. Brown
5 books2,244 followersErik J. Brown is the internationally-bestselling author of All That's Left in the World and the sequel The Only Light Left Burning.
His books have received starred reviews from Kirkus, The Bulletin of the Center of Children's Books, and ALA Booklist.
His second novel, Lose You to Find Me, became a USA Today Bestseller.
Erik is also the co-host of the YA Book Podcast YA-OK where he and Alyssa Ljub of Netflix's The Circle talk with new and established YA authors about writing, publishing, and all things YA!
He lives in Philadelphia with his family.
You can find him on Instagram @ErikJB and TikTok @ErikJBrown
His books have received starred reviews from Kirkus, The Bulletin of the Center of Children's Books, and ALA Booklist.
His second novel, Lose You to Find Me, became a USA Today Bestseller.
Erik is also the co-host of the YA Book Podcast YA-OK where he and Alyssa Ljub of Netflix's The Circle talk with new and established YA authors about writing, publishing, and all things YA!
He lives in Philadelphia with his family.
You can find him on Instagram @ErikJB and TikTok @ErikJBrown
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 772 reviews
September 26, 2022
I wrote this book and I definitely think it's in the top five books of all time about a queer teen working at an old folks home who has to train his first crush while dealing with the pressures of life and deciding his future.
July 9, 2023
Remember All That’s Left in the World? The scary dystopian story that was also witty, cute, and exceptionally written? Erik J. Brown is back! This time with a coming-of-age Rom-Dramedy (Erik’s words).
I’m in love! Again! Rom-Dramedy is the perfect word for this book. If I had to compare Lose You to Find Me to other books, I’d say The Sky Blues: funny, heartfelt, cute, uplifting and serious at the same time. Even though Lose You to Find Me has a romantic undertone, it’s not a romance; the story is about figuring out life at seventeen. About the choices you make or not. About friendships. About crushes and falling in love. About healthy relationships. About all the messiness and the drama AND fun, you can have at seventeen.
When I started reading Lose You to Find Me, a smile immediately grew on my face, and a glow of warmth spread through my chest. I loved Tommy and his friends and their interactions with the residents of the Retirement Community. Al was just, OMG, Al. Adored him and Willa, and their friendship with Tommy so much. Ava was such a powerful girl, and I laughed out loud at James with all his nicknames and remarks about the McKinsey scale. Tommy was the main character to root for, and Gabe and Brat … well, if you want to know more about them, I’d suggest reading the story yourself. I highly recommend it and am already eagerly waiting for Erik’s next novel!
I received an ARC from Harper Collins Children’s Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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I’m in love! Again! Rom-Dramedy is the perfect word for this book. If I had to compare Lose You to Find Me to other books, I’d say The Sky Blues: funny, heartfelt, cute, uplifting and serious at the same time. Even though Lose You to Find Me has a romantic undertone, it’s not a romance; the story is about figuring out life at seventeen. About the choices you make or not. About friendships. About crushes and falling in love. About healthy relationships. About all the messiness and the drama AND fun, you can have at seventeen.
When I started reading Lose You to Find Me, a smile immediately grew on my face, and a glow of warmth spread through my chest. I loved Tommy and his friends and their interactions with the residents of the Retirement Community. Al was just, OMG, Al. Adored him and Willa, and their friendship with Tommy so much. Ava was such a powerful girl, and I laughed out loud at James with all his nicknames and remarks about the McKinsey scale. Tommy was the main character to root for, and Gabe and Brat … well, if you want to know more about them, I’d suggest reading the story yourself. I highly recommend it and am already eagerly waiting for Erik’s next novel!
I received an ARC from Harper Collins Children’s Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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October 7, 2024
Imagine spending a whole book trying to get your brain to ship 2 characters that just AREN'T fitting together, to find out... he's not even going to be the main love interest.
1/3 of this book definitely could have been cut out, I wanted it to end while listening to it.
Was cute enough, but also meh af.
I’ve read better fluff before.
The best part of the book happens in the last 1 hour of it, and when the book ends. 😇😇😇
1/3 of this book definitely could have been cut out, I wanted it to end while listening to it.
Was cute enough, but also meh af.
I’ve read better fluff before.
The best part of the book happens in the last 1 hour of it, and when the book ends. 😇😇😇
September 6, 2023
2,5 *
I’m just not a fan of storylines ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This book started out GREAT! Tommy was a really fun MC, the set up was intriguing, and I was really liking Tommy and Gabe’s dynamic! And then it all came crashing down when it was revealed that 😐😐😐 And the story took a terrible turn. Suddenly, I was no longer having fun seeing these 2 rekindle their friendship/romance. I was just annoyed and honestly????? pretty disgusted with them.
The whole time reading this book I was honestly more interested in learning more about Tommy and Brad’s relationship. They seemed so much better!!
Other stuff:
➡ I appreciate the whole university storyline. It’s nice to see characters figuring out what they want to do with their lives, and I liked the way that plotline was developed and wrapped up!
➡ Just like "All That's Left in the World", this book was extremely easy to read. I flew through it (even though I didn’t like the story). Also, Erik J. Brown is good at writing MCs who are really fun to follow! Once again, I unfortunately ended up not liking Tommy (he was a shitty person), but it was really fun to be in his POV.
➡ The old folks at the retirement home were…. boring. Sorry! I know they were supposed to be charming and funny and endearing, and probably comedic relief, but they truly made me feel *nothing*. I just didn’t care about them.
➡ That scene where Tommy CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN FINGERS was FUCKING INSANE???!!!!? 😨
➡ I’ll be mad at the missed opportunity to make this the cute story of Brad and Tommy for a WHILE! 😤
(review written on 05/05/2023)
---------
(13/04/2022)
i don't even know what this book is about but i loved "All That's Left in the World" so i'm already excited for this ahdfskjdskljf
I’m just not a fan of storylines ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This book started out GREAT! Tommy was a really fun MC, the set up was intriguing, and I was really liking Tommy and Gabe’s dynamic! And then it all came crashing down when it was revealed that 😐😐😐 And the story took a terrible turn. Suddenly, I was no longer having fun seeing these 2 rekindle their friendship/romance. I was just annoyed and honestly????? pretty disgusted with them.
The whole time reading this book I was honestly more interested in learning more about Tommy and Brad’s relationship. They seemed so much better!!
Other stuff:
➡ I appreciate the whole university storyline. It’s nice to see characters figuring out what they want to do with their lives, and I liked the way that plotline was developed and wrapped up!
➡ Just like "All That's Left in the World", this book was extremely easy to read. I flew through it (even though I didn’t like the story). Also, Erik J. Brown is good at writing MCs who are really fun to follow! Once again, I unfortunately ended up not liking Tommy (he was a shitty person), but it was really fun to be in his POV.
➡ The old folks at the retirement home were…. boring. Sorry! I know they were supposed to be charming and funny and endearing, and probably comedic relief, but they truly made me feel *nothing*. I just didn’t care about them.
➡ That scene where Tommy CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN FINGERS was FUCKING INSANE???!!!!? 😨
➡ I’ll be mad at the missed opportunity to make this the cute story of Brad and Tommy for a WHILE! 😤
(review written on 05/05/2023)
---------
(13/04/2022)
i don't even know what this book is about but i loved "All That's Left in the World" so i'm already excited for this ahdfskjdskljf
June 21, 2023
✰ 3.75 stars ✰
“What? You thought I was going to tell you how to break them up and get him to go after you instead? Kid, that’s such a waste of time. And if there’s one thing I know about time, you don’t get any of it back.
You’re young, you’re going off to school next year, why put all that time into trying to get someone who likes someone else to like you instead?”
I totally understand why the story of Lose You to Find Me may irritate many readers, myself included. But, I have to commend Erik J. Brown for the very craftily selected title, because in the end, that is precisely what this story was about. For in the process of Tommy having to face the facts that he had to lose that long-standing crush that he had held onto for so long, he was able to find a little something in himself and his future.
When I was in the fifth grade, there was this boy in my class I really liked - honestly, he was my first ever crush. But, then he moved away and I saw him again a few years later; my feelings for him did re-surface again; but, he wasn't the boy that I remembered - 'plans change and people change'. 😔 And while, I tried, even in the slightest, to rekindle that spark for him, hoping against hope, he might look at me a little differently than more than a friend, it never happened.
“We all have bad weeks or years. Moments when it seems like everything is so overwhelming that you don’t know what to do or where to start. It’s like being in the weeds during a shift.
Everything feels like it’s all happening at once and you can’t get ahead of it. But there’s always a way.”
So, while it was annoyingly aggravating to see the lengths to which Tommy devised so many futile attempts to somehow lure Gabriel into believing that they were destined to be together - I believed it. Who hasn't done something inconceivable to try to have something done our way, or even have convince someone to act in a certain manner? 🥺
The author writes in a very simple, but fresh and engaging style that really does resonate with me, and I didn't ever feel that there was too much happening, despite how much Tommy was juggling. It wasn't just a second-chance romance - it was a chance to be yourself; to find a future that you could be happy with, rather than holding onto the remnants of the past. And I thought that it was so very realistically portrayed, convincingly so, that you couldn't help but empathize with him. 😟
Tommy may have realized that the hard way - and he did! And I liked that it wasn't easy pickings for him, in his real life or his school life or even his personal life. I never found myself irritated by how hard he was pining for Gabriel; I just felt bad that it would take so much out of him before the blinders that were preventing him from accepting the reality of their relationship would finally be removed.
Al and Willa aka 'the fairy grandfather and badass lesbian grandmother' were also the highlights of this story. I loved their no-nonsense attitude and their constant attempts to make Tommy see the error of his ways and the fault in his thinking. Ava was also a wonderful friend - the entire staff at the home were a fun lot, and I enjoyed reading their interactions and the ease in which they navigated themselves around the kitchen.
And omg, that kitchen scene - totally blindsided me! But, then again, this is the author who wrote the zombie apocalypse story, so I suppose there was going to be some darkness to this one, as well! 😅
“Brad, who ignored me at school but searched me out at parties in hopes of this fleeting moment where he could be himself.
I felt bad for him. I felt bad for me.
But this was better than nothing. And it was better than wishing it were Gabe.”
Tommy and Brad's scenes were some of my absolute favorites and yet, much like how Tommy felt, I did feel bad for them. Brad's the kinda character that you don't know how important he's going to be to a story, till he becomes the story; and I liked him, for it. 🤍🤍 For their own reasons, they could never be officially together, but while Tommy was trying to figure out his own personal issues with Gabriel and Brad was battling his own inner demons, I loved their little intimate moments.
They were so very soft and utterly adorable in their make-out sessions, but still could find that comfortable ease of being able to talk to one another about their problems. I wish there could have been more of their relationship - more of seeing Brad and Tommy together as a couple, rather than Tommy's continuous futile attempts to make Gabriel suddenly realize that he was the one for him. 🥰🥰
“Yes,” I said. “I would love to go out on a date with you.” I didn’t need to wait around when I had a life to live. And there’s no use carrying a torch if it isn’t going to burn for you, too.
Brad’s face lit up. “Really?”
“Yeah. Make an honest man of me.”
🥹 🥹 🥹
So suffice to say, despite the premise that may be annoying to some, I enjoyed this - shocker, I know. It was well-written, with a slightly less than appealing struggle, but still delivered a satisfying closure that all the characters rightfully deserved. 🩷🩷 Throwin the typical YA senior life pains and a lovely dose of romantic endeavors, I look forward to whatever Erik J. Brown has in store for the future. 😊
“All I’m saying is, find the person who gives you what you want. Don’t wait for the person you want to finally figure out what that is. We’ll leave you with that.”
“What? You thought I was going to tell you how to break them up and get him to go after you instead? Kid, that’s such a waste of time. And if there’s one thing I know about time, you don’t get any of it back.
You’re young, you’re going off to school next year, why put all that time into trying to get someone who likes someone else to like you instead?”
I totally understand why the story of Lose You to Find Me may irritate many readers, myself included. But, I have to commend Erik J. Brown for the very craftily selected title, because in the end, that is precisely what this story was about. For in the process of Tommy having to face the facts that he had to lose that long-standing crush that he had held onto for so long, he was able to find a little something in himself and his future.
When I was in the fifth grade, there was this boy in my class I really liked - honestly, he was my first ever crush. But, then he moved away and I saw him again a few years later; my feelings for him did re-surface again; but, he wasn't the boy that I remembered - 'plans change and people change'. 😔 And while, I tried, even in the slightest, to rekindle that spark for him, hoping against hope, he might look at me a little differently than more than a friend, it never happened.
“We all have bad weeks or years. Moments when it seems like everything is so overwhelming that you don’t know what to do or where to start. It’s like being in the weeds during a shift.
Everything feels like it’s all happening at once and you can’t get ahead of it. But there’s always a way.”
So, while it was annoyingly aggravating to see the lengths to which Tommy devised so many futile attempts to somehow lure Gabriel into believing that they were destined to be together - I believed it. Who hasn't done something inconceivable to try to have something done our way, or even have convince someone to act in a certain manner? 🥺
The author writes in a very simple, but fresh and engaging style that really does resonate with me, and I didn't ever feel that there was too much happening, despite how much Tommy was juggling. It wasn't just a second-chance romance - it was a chance to be yourself; to find a future that you could be happy with, rather than holding onto the remnants of the past. And I thought that it was so very realistically portrayed, convincingly so, that you couldn't help but empathize with him. 😟
Tommy may have realized that the hard way - and he did! And I liked that it wasn't easy pickings for him, in his real life or his school life or even his personal life. I never found myself irritated by how hard he was pining for Gabriel; I just felt bad that it would take so much out of him before the blinders that were preventing him from accepting the reality of their relationship would finally be removed.
Al and Willa aka 'the fairy grandfather and badass lesbian grandmother' were also the highlights of this story. I loved their no-nonsense attitude and their constant attempts to make Tommy see the error of his ways and the fault in his thinking. Ava was also a wonderful friend - the entire staff at the home were a fun lot, and I enjoyed reading their interactions and the ease in which they navigated themselves around the kitchen.
And omg, that kitchen scene - totally blindsided me! But, then again, this is the author who wrote the zombie apocalypse story, so I suppose there was going to be some darkness to this one, as well! 😅
“Brad, who ignored me at school but searched me out at parties in hopes of this fleeting moment where he could be himself.
I felt bad for him. I felt bad for me.
But this was better than nothing. And it was better than wishing it were Gabe.”
Tommy and Brad's scenes were some of my absolute favorites and yet, much like how Tommy felt, I did feel bad for them. Brad's the kinda character that you don't know how important he's going to be to a story, till he becomes the story; and I liked him, for it. 🤍🤍 For their own reasons, they could never be officially together, but while Tommy was trying to figure out his own personal issues with Gabriel and Brad was battling his own inner demons, I loved their little intimate moments.
They were so very soft and utterly adorable in their make-out sessions, but still could find that comfortable ease of being able to talk to one another about their problems. I wish there could have been more of their relationship - more of seeing Brad and Tommy together as a couple, rather than Tommy's continuous futile attempts to make Gabriel suddenly realize that he was the one for him. 🥰🥰
“Yes,” I said. “I would love to go out on a date with you.” I didn’t need to wait around when I had a life to live. And there’s no use carrying a torch if it isn’t going to burn for you, too.
Brad’s face lit up. “Really?”
“Yeah. Make an honest man of me.”
🥹 🥹 🥹
So suffice to say, despite the premise that may be annoying to some, I enjoyed this - shocker, I know. It was well-written, with a slightly less than appealing struggle, but still delivered a satisfying closure that all the characters rightfully deserved. 🩷🩷 Throwin the typical YA senior life pains and a lovely dose of romantic endeavors, I look forward to whatever Erik J. Brown has in store for the future. 😊
“All I’m saying is, find the person who gives you what you want. Don’t wait for the person you want to finally figure out what that is. We’ll leave you with that.”
Read
December 19, 2022I haven't felt this frustrated while reading a book since Phil Stamper's As Far As You'll Take Me. These types of plots (which are *designed* to be frustrating, I know!!!) just always piss me off. Honestly it's down to Brown's fantastic writing and well fleshed-out secondary characters that I didn't DNF this the five times I actually wanted to..no rating from me since this will appeal to a lot of people and I'm just entirely not made for these types of stories 🤷♀️
But if you liked that How I Met Your Mother episode where Ted wants to date a girl who constantly says "I really like you but I can't be with you...right now" then you'll love this queer take on that 👍
But if you liked that How I Met Your Mother episode where Ted wants to date a girl who constantly says "I really like you but I can't be with you...right now" then you'll love this queer take on that 👍
December 24, 2024
There is a reason why I don't like reading young-adult romcoms anymore....
This book was such a disappointment, sigh! I absolutely loved All That’s Left in the World, Brown's debut novel and was very hyped up to see what he'd do in his sophomore novel. I was good at the first few chapters, even though the I thought the retirement home for old folks thing was pretty boring. It could have been a lot more fun.
At first, I really liked our main character Tommy. I thought he was funny and hilarious and had a charming personality. But he started becoming more and more annoying as the story progressed. Selfish, rude, manipulative and never really reflected on his behavior. I think this story would've been so much better if he had that moment of reflection and apologized from there. Tommy is honestly the main reason why I'm giving this book such a low rating.
The sided characters were a lot more fun than Tommy and Gabe. I absolutely loved Brad, he was such a sweet characters. Also really liked Ava, Tommy's best friend.
As for the writing, I thought it was pretty good not just in its storytelling, but also in its character writing. All the characters added something to the story, which I loved.
This book was such a disappointment, sigh! I absolutely loved All That’s Left in the World, Brown's debut novel and was very hyped up to see what he'd do in his sophomore novel. I was good at the first few chapters, even though the I thought the retirement home for old folks thing was pretty boring. It could have been a lot more fun.
At first, I really liked our main character Tommy. I thought he was funny and hilarious and had a charming personality. But he started becoming more and more annoying as the story progressed. Selfish, rude, manipulative and never really reflected on his behavior. I think this story would've been so much better if he had that moment of reflection and apologized from there. Tommy is honestly the main reason why I'm giving this book such a low rating.
The sided characters were a lot more fun than Tommy and Gabe. I absolutely loved Brad, he was such a sweet characters. Also really liked Ava, Tommy's best friend.
As for the writing, I thought it was pretty good not just in its storytelling, but also in its character writing. All the characters added something to the story, which I loved.
July 29, 2025
So HERES THE THING ABOUT THIS
It’s misleading
The cover
The title (actually very on the the nose, but still somehow misleading)
The summary
The general vibes up until fifty percent
Everything is very much giving gay romcom
BUT
QUICK PSA
THIS IS NOT A ROMCOM
This is a coming of age arc about a lokey kind of selfish, delusional (ur average teen) main character figuring out what live is and isn’t supposed to look like
So I can understand a lot of the lower reviews because what is meant to come across as a life lesson
Almost feels marketed as a normal romp-com choice
BUT
THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE
ITS. COMING. OF. AGE. 👏
I found it well written and plotted, because the character is so BELIEVABLE
I disagreed with almost all of his choices, yes.
But I absolutely loved how they were resolved, and how he realized the error in them.
Side note
I loved Brad from the very beginning
AND I KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER
Gabe can lokey die
JAMES AND AVA AND MORGAN ARE MY POOKIES THO
It’s misleading
The cover
The title (actually very on the the nose, but still somehow misleading)
The summary
The general vibes up until fifty percent
Everything is very much giving gay romcom
BUT
QUICK PSA
THIS IS NOT A ROMCOM
This is a coming of age arc about a lokey kind of selfish, delusional (ur average teen) main character figuring out what live is and isn’t supposed to look like
So I can understand a lot of the lower reviews because what is meant to come across as a life lesson
Almost feels marketed as a normal romp-com choice
BUT
THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE
ITS. COMING. OF. AGE. 👏
I found it well written and plotted, because the character is so BELIEVABLE
I disagreed with almost all of his choices, yes.
But I absolutely loved how they were resolved, and how he realized the error in them.
Side note
I loved Brad from the very beginning
AND I KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER
Gabe can lokey die
JAMES AND AVA AND MORGAN ARE MY POOKIES THO
Read
March 22, 2024this is why i have trust issues 🤣
jokes aside, the use of (major spoilers)
so indeed, this is a coming of age story of young adults fumbling and trying and failing in the process of growing up, but to call this a romance does the book a bit of a disservice, because you could say my expectations weren’t on the right planet.
jokes aside, the use of (major spoilers)
so indeed, this is a coming of age story of young adults fumbling and trying and failing in the process of growing up, but to call this a romance does the book a bit of a disservice, because you could say my expectations weren’t on the right planet.
August 13, 2024
Ooooof this one hurt as well as made me smile!
Lose You to Find Me contains sensitive subject matter yet the writing is SO lighthearted (while still honouring the serious moments) and engaging that I couldn’t help but devour this.
I think that it shows how flawed us humans can be and how, especially when young, we learn through living. That we act sometimes with tunnel vision, but our actions can hurt regardless of our intentions. It’s about the lessons we learn from those human moments that matter. The friendships, the love, the personal journeys were great in this. It was realistic, it was funny, the characters had personalityyyyyy and I’m glad to have read it.
3.75 ⭐️
Lose You to Find Me contains sensitive subject matter yet the writing is SO lighthearted (while still honouring the serious moments) and engaging that I couldn’t help but devour this.
I think that it shows how flawed us humans can be and how, especially when young, we learn through living. That we act sometimes with tunnel vision, but our actions can hurt regardless of our intentions. It’s about the lessons we learn from those human moments that matter. The friendships, the love, the personal journeys were great in this. It was realistic, it was funny, the characters had personalityyyyyy and I’m glad to have read it.
3.75 ⭐️
April 7, 2024
Omg this book!!! It ticked me off a whole lot… I’m going to be whipping out some spoilers, so watch out for that. The main character, Thomas is such a terrible person.
So yeah, of course I don’t recommend this one. Unless you’re into cheating a-holes, then by all means, read this. Smh
So yeah, of course I don’t recommend this one. Unless you’re into cheating a-holes, then by all means, read this. Smh
April 30, 2023
Thank you to Harper Collins and NetGalley for the arc in exchange for an honest review!
It's such a pleasant surprise to go into a book like this almost completely blind, knowing just that it has a beautiful cover and an author already on your TBR shelf (I know, I know - I've had All That's Left In The World in a beautiful Dazzling Bookish edition to read for months now!), and find an absolutely remarkable book.
Intent on getting into one of the top culinary schools in the world, Tommy Dees needs that letter of recommendation from his cruel manager at the Sunset Estates retirement community. And that means jumping through every hoop she's going to put him through to get it while he works as a server, including training the newest hire. There's just one problem - that new hire is Gabe, the boy that was Tommy's gay awakening at summer camp back at the age of ten before he disappeared without a trace one day. Worse, Gabe doesn't seem to remember Tommy at all. Worse worse, Gabe has a boyfriend. The universe just seems intent on getting in Tommy's way as feelings resurface, friendships get complicated, and college acceptance letters start arriving.
Lose You to Find Me is definitely everything that it says on the tin, but it's also so much more than that - and that's a great thing. Tommy is a fun, likable character from the get-go. He knows what he wants to achieve in life, and his grief over the loss of his father palpable in the pages. He's so delightfully opinionated in a way that you can't help but cackle over as you read. His relationships, from the budding romance with Gabe, his "it's complicated" with hockey player Brad, his friendships with Ava and Morgan, the rest of the workers at Sunset Estates, and the residents staying there - they're all so organic and believable and complicated and messy. This book is messy, and that makes it fun, because teenagers are messy, complicated people.
It is genuinely a delight to watch Tommy grow over the course of the story, learning to become less self-centered in his relationships with his friends while also prioritizing himself in his romantic entanglements. He learns to loosen the tight grip he's had on his future since the death of his father and learn to do what's best for himself, while also allowing the people around him to be the flawed individuals that they are, too. And oh wow is everyone around him so flawed. Gabe is a wreck of a human being, rather than a fairytale-esque YA love interest. It's nice to watch how he develops over the course of the book, and to see what happens with his relationship with Tommy. It makes the ending (which I will not spoil here) all the more satisfying and believable.
This is another one that I definitely look forward to snagging for my classroom bookshelves. The lessons contained within are great, and the story itself is a winner.
It's such a pleasant surprise to go into a book like this almost completely blind, knowing just that it has a beautiful cover and an author already on your TBR shelf (I know, I know - I've had All That's Left In The World in a beautiful Dazzling Bookish edition to read for months now!), and find an absolutely remarkable book.
Intent on getting into one of the top culinary schools in the world, Tommy Dees needs that letter of recommendation from his cruel manager at the Sunset Estates retirement community. And that means jumping through every hoop she's going to put him through to get it while he works as a server, including training the newest hire. There's just one problem - that new hire is Gabe, the boy that was Tommy's gay awakening at summer camp back at the age of ten before he disappeared without a trace one day. Worse, Gabe doesn't seem to remember Tommy at all. Worse worse, Gabe has a boyfriend. The universe just seems intent on getting in Tommy's way as feelings resurface, friendships get complicated, and college acceptance letters start arriving.
Lose You to Find Me is definitely everything that it says on the tin, but it's also so much more than that - and that's a great thing. Tommy is a fun, likable character from the get-go. He knows what he wants to achieve in life, and his grief over the loss of his father palpable in the pages. He's so delightfully opinionated in a way that you can't help but cackle over as you read. His relationships, from the budding romance with Gabe, his "it's complicated" with hockey player Brad, his friendships with Ava and Morgan, the rest of the workers at Sunset Estates, and the residents staying there - they're all so organic and believable and complicated and messy. This book is messy, and that makes it fun, because teenagers are messy, complicated people.
It is genuinely a delight to watch Tommy grow over the course of the story, learning to become less self-centered in his relationships with his friends while also prioritizing himself in his romantic entanglements. He learns to loosen the tight grip he's had on his future since the death of his father and learn to do what's best for himself, while also allowing the people around him to be the flawed individuals that they are, too. And oh wow is everyone around him so flawed. Gabe is a wreck of a human being, rather than a fairytale-esque YA love interest. It's nice to watch how he develops over the course of the book, and to see what happens with his relationship with Tommy. It makes the ending (which I will not spoil here) all the more satisfying and believable.
This is another one that I definitely look forward to snagging for my classroom bookshelves. The lessons contained within are great, and the story itself is a winner.
May 6, 2023
Erik J. Brown's sophomore book is completely different than his sensational post-apocalyptic debut.
Lose You To Find Me is a contemporary coming-of-age story focusing on insecurities, finding yourself, the pressure of deciding your future. Its message has a lot of similarities with Robbie Couch's The Sky Blues and Simon James Green's last two books.
The romance runs hot and cold with Gabe being the definition of "giving mixed signals", while the retirement community acting as the story's setting offers some pretty unique and hilarious scenes. Cooking is another big part of this book which I probably can't do justice since I'm a terrible cook - if you enjoy cooking and baking, you'll definitely find this a cherry on top!
Edit: The book is out now!
Thank you Edelweiss and HarperCollins for the ARC!
Lose You To Find Me is a contemporary coming-of-age story focusing on insecurities, finding yourself, the pressure of deciding your future. Its message has a lot of similarities with Robbie Couch's The Sky Blues and Simon James Green's last two books.
The romance runs hot and cold with Gabe being the definition of "giving mixed signals", while the retirement community acting as the story's setting offers some pretty unique and hilarious scenes. Cooking is another big part of this book which I probably can't do justice since I'm a terrible cook - if you enjoy cooking and baking, you'll definitely find this a cherry on top!
Edit: The book is out now!
Thank you Edelweiss and HarperCollins for the ARC!
February 21, 2024
4.5 / 5 stars!
“This was absolutely not the Taylor Swift fantasy I was trying to serve.” Screaming.
This is only Erik J. Brown’s second novel, and it has cemented him as an auto-buy author moving forward.
I loved All That’s Left in the World. When I first got back into reading last year, it was one of the first books I read – and it was a book that made me fall in love with reading again. I have eagerly awaited Lose You to Find Me and it was worth the wait.
With just two books, Erik has shown us what his trademark writing style is – a seamless blend of humor / wit, emotion, a healthy dose of seriousness, and levity. Along with strong characters who are loveable, human, and easy to connect with. Tommy is one of my favorite protagonists of the queer books I’ve read in 2023. He was complex, conflicted, kind, and thoughtful. The Back to the Future Hot Wheels moment? Swoon. The absolute sweetest.
Overall, this is not a romance novel at its core. It’s a book about figuring out who you are, and what you want to do with your life as a teenager because society expects you to do that. It challenged the “norm” and gave insight into the fact that not everyone’s life paths need to follow an identical formula.
This is a beautiful story with fantastic characters -- and most importantly, it is filled to the brim with heart. I read it in two sittings (I did not move for 5 hours as I finished the back half of the book) because I could not get enough.
Also – SHOUT OUT to Erik for all the Taylor Swift references. I LIVED for them.
And, to equate a Taylor song with this novel ….
“Everything you lose is a step you take. So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it – You’ve got no reason to be afraid. / You’re on your own, kid. Yeah, you can face this. You’re on your own, kid – you always have been.” - You’re On Your Own, Kid
“This was absolutely not the Taylor Swift fantasy I was trying to serve.” Screaming.
This is only Erik J. Brown’s second novel, and it has cemented him as an auto-buy author moving forward.
I loved All That’s Left in the World. When I first got back into reading last year, it was one of the first books I read – and it was a book that made me fall in love with reading again. I have eagerly awaited Lose You to Find Me and it was worth the wait.
With just two books, Erik has shown us what his trademark writing style is – a seamless blend of humor / wit, emotion, a healthy dose of seriousness, and levity. Along with strong characters who are loveable, human, and easy to connect with. Tommy is one of my favorite protagonists of the queer books I’ve read in 2023. He was complex, conflicted, kind, and thoughtful. The Back to the Future Hot Wheels moment? Swoon. The absolute sweetest.
Overall, this is not a romance novel at its core. It’s a book about figuring out who you are, and what you want to do with your life as a teenager because society expects you to do that. It challenged the “norm” and gave insight into the fact that not everyone’s life paths need to follow an identical formula.
This is a beautiful story with fantastic characters -- and most importantly, it is filled to the brim with heart. I read it in two sittings (I did not move for 5 hours as I finished the back half of the book) because I could not get enough.
Also – SHOUT OUT to Erik for all the Taylor Swift references. I LIVED for them.
And, to equate a Taylor song with this novel ….
“Everything you lose is a step you take. So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it – You’ve got no reason to be afraid. / You’re on your own, kid. Yeah, you can face this. You’re on your own, kid – you always have been.” - You’re On Your Own, Kid
May 4, 2023
In short: If Erik J. Brown writes it, I will in fact be reading it.
I read an eARC of All That’s Left In The World last year and i absolutely loved it, so of course i jumped at the chance to read this one and i’m so glad that i did! Lose You to Find Me absolutely exceeded my expectations in every way.
I really liked how this book was set in a work environment! The retirement community setting was actually very enjoyable, and i liked seeing all of the interactions with the residents, especially Al and Willa!
Erik J. Brown KNOWS how to write realistic, imperfect characters with believable dialogue. The characters in this book were all developed really well with distinct personalities, and the relationships were messy and flawed which made them even more realistic. It’s difficult to explain without spoiling anything, but i just have to say that i really really loved how everything concluded with the relationships, and i’m so glad that it went in the direction that i was hoping it would.
This entire book was just a pleasure to read. It was warm, comforting and extremely funny. It shows you how dreams can change, and that’s completely okay!
Lose You to Find Me is a book about growing and finding yourself, and If you’re reading this review, I truly hope that you find yourself. At the bookstore- buying this book.
Thank you so much to Hachette Children’s Books and Netgalley for sending me an eARC of this book!!
I read an eARC of All That’s Left In The World last year and i absolutely loved it, so of course i jumped at the chance to read this one and i’m so glad that i did! Lose You to Find Me absolutely exceeded my expectations in every way.
I really liked how this book was set in a work environment! The retirement community setting was actually very enjoyable, and i liked seeing all of the interactions with the residents, especially Al and Willa!
Erik J. Brown KNOWS how to write realistic, imperfect characters with believable dialogue. The characters in this book were all developed really well with distinct personalities, and the relationships were messy and flawed which made them even more realistic. It’s difficult to explain without spoiling anything, but i just have to say that i really really loved how everything concluded with the relationships, and i’m so glad that it went in the direction that i was hoping it would.
This entire book was just a pleasure to read. It was warm, comforting and extremely funny. It shows you how dreams can change, and that’s completely okay!
Lose You to Find Me is a book about growing and finding yourself, and If you’re reading this review, I truly hope that you find yourself. At the bookstore- buying this book.
Thank you so much to Hachette Children’s Books and Netgalley for sending me an eARC of this book!!
January 17, 2024
I think this book was a bit too long for what the story was, I felt like it was dragging in so many places. I definitely did really enjoy certain aspects of the book, but I feel like I could’ve loved it if it was more condensed. Queer characters, senior year of high school, figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life, bad choices around romance, and more are definitely things that I loved in stories.
Going into the book I feel like it’s important to know that this is much more of a coming of age story about the main character Tommy and not a romance book. So much of the stuff between Tommy and Gabe is MESSY, on purpose. In the end I did appreciate what Erik J. Brown was going for with the story he was telling. But I can see a lot of readers not being able to get on board with it.
Going into the book I feel like it’s important to know that this is much more of a coming of age story about the main character Tommy and not a romance book. So much of the stuff between Tommy and Gabe is MESSY, on purpose. In the end I did appreciate what Erik J. Brown was going for with the story he was telling. But I can see a lot of readers not being able to get on board with it.
May 8, 2023
really really don’t know how i feel about this one. because it’s not like it wasn’t well written, i was just against the plot that it made it closer to two stars for me but that’s just due to preference. just not my kind of story! however i did very much enjoy who he ended up with. i texted aylee that i was getting queer baited in a queer story bc i wanted him to end up w brad so badly and i had to keep double checking when it actually ended that way?? just wish they would’ve given them more time to shine :( gabe was so frustrating and im just not into cheating storylines at all :// ugh mixed feelings about it but didn’t hate it.
oh also he accidentally cuts off part of his fingers while working in the kitchen and as someone with a knife phobia…. not fun to read about
oh also he accidentally cuts off part of his fingers while working in the kitchen and as someone with a knife phobia…. not fun to read about
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 27, 2023
What would you do if you met your first love for the second time years later and he doesn’t remember you?
Tommy is going into his last year of high school and it’s time to plan out his future. When he asks his boss at the retirement community to write him a recommendation for culinary school, she tasks him with training a new hire… who is he? None other than the boy that he fell in love with at summer camp so many years ago, Gabe. BUT HE DOESN’T REMEMBER HIM?!?!?
As their work relationship begins to bud into actual friendship, Tommy’s old feelings begin to resurface. But he has a job to do and a letter to secure. Plus, he doesn’t even know if Gabe likes boys. So he’ll have to be happy with friendship. That is until his signals get crossed and he goes in for a kiss……..
This was such a sweet coming-of-age book about first love and growing up. I honestly didn’t have high hopes for the boy’s relationship (really there was nothing but pining for 95% of the book) and was ultimately proven right. (Sorry! SPOILER, right back there!) But I’m happy we didn’t get the HEA that the majority of readers will be expecting. We got reality. Guys suck!
Tommy is going into his last year of high school and it’s time to plan out his future. When he asks his boss at the retirement community to write him a recommendation for culinary school, she tasks him with training a new hire… who is he? None other than the boy that he fell in love with at summer camp so many years ago, Gabe. BUT HE DOESN’T REMEMBER HIM?!?!?
As their work relationship begins to bud into actual friendship, Tommy’s old feelings begin to resurface. But he has a job to do and a letter to secure. Plus, he doesn’t even know if Gabe likes boys. So he’ll have to be happy with friendship. That is until his signals get crossed and he goes in for a kiss……..
This was such a sweet coming-of-age book about first love and growing up. I honestly didn’t have high hopes for the boy’s relationship (really there was nothing but pining for 95% of the book) and was ultimately proven right. (Sorry! SPOILER, right back there!) But I’m happy we didn’t get the HEA that the majority of readers will be expecting. We got reality. Guys suck!
May 19, 2023
4.5 stars
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review!
I definitely think that Erik J. Brown is a new auto-buy author. I loved his first book, All That's Left in the World, and now I also love his second book too! This was really sweet and emotional and just so easy to read, I absolutely flew through it. The main takeaway from this book is about figuring out your future, and how it might not be exactly what you had planned but that that's okay, and I really love that. So much of this book is about romance, but so much of it is also about friendship, and the friendships within this book are OUTSTANDING. The characters are all really loveable, and sure they can be messy and dramatic, but that's part of being seventeen right?
I won't give too much away because spoilers, but I LOVED the ending. It didn't go where I was expecting it to, but once it happened I could totally see how the whole book had led up to it and how it actually worked so well for the characters. This book is ultimately about finding yourself, and I think the author writes YA so brilliantly, I can't wait to see what their next book will be.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review!
I definitely think that Erik J. Brown is a new auto-buy author. I loved his first book, All That's Left in the World, and now I also love his second book too! This was really sweet and emotional and just so easy to read, I absolutely flew through it. The main takeaway from this book is about figuring out your future, and how it might not be exactly what you had planned but that that's okay, and I really love that. So much of this book is about romance, but so much of it is also about friendship, and the friendships within this book are OUTSTANDING. The characters are all really loveable, and sure they can be messy and dramatic, but that's part of being seventeen right?
I won't give too much away because spoilers, but I LOVED the ending. It didn't go where I was expecting it to, but once it happened I could totally see how the whole book had led up to it and how it actually worked so well for the characters. This book is ultimately about finding yourself, and I think the author writes YA so brilliantly, I can't wait to see what their next book will be.
April 29, 2023
Witty, sweet, emotional and unbelievably readable, Lose You to Find Me is a gorgeous YA contemporary exploring everything from grief and crushes to figuring out your future and what it means to have a healthy relationship. Starring a lovable cast of characters and a variety of relationship dynamics, this is a book that is just as much a classic teen rom-com as it is a moving coming-of-age story.
I flew through this book in a matter of sittings and enjoyed every moment of my time with it. Having also adored his debut, I highly rate Erik’s talent for story writing and creating characters and narratives instantly capture your attention and refuse to let go.
TW: discussions of homophobia, non consensual outing, harassment
I flew through this book in a matter of sittings and enjoyed every moment of my time with it. Having also adored his debut, I highly rate Erik’s talent for story writing and creating characters and narratives instantly capture your attention and refuse to let go.
TW: discussions of homophobia, non consensual outing, harassment
December 22, 2023
1⭐
Kurde, ale się rozczarowałem...
Kurde, ale się rozczarowałem...
May 1, 2023
⭐️4,5
This book was just adorable! I think I kind of expected something different but that didn’t take anything away from it.
I loved the representation, the settings and just the whole truth about being a young person trying to figure out their life.
I really liked all of the characters, they never felt flat or boring. I think James was one of my favorites, he reminds me of a friend I had in school who was so loud and crazy but the most fun.
I liked that they all struggled with different things in their lives but also the amazing friendships they all had.
It‘s crazy how my feelings towards Gabe changed. I loved him right from the start when we got to know him through Tommy‘s eyes but while he went through stuff and his pov changed, mine did as well and I love that this book could do this!
(Also Tommy and Gabe watching the movies together, was just beyond adorable!!)
The book turned out so much different than I thought it would but I‘m not mad about it.
I loved every second I spent with these characters and I am very much looking forward for another book by Erik!
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-arc!
This book was just adorable! I think I kind of expected something different but that didn’t take anything away from it.
I loved the representation, the settings and just the whole truth about being a young person trying to figure out their life.
I really liked all of the characters, they never felt flat or boring. I think James was one of my favorites, he reminds me of a friend I had in school who was so loud and crazy but the most fun.
I liked that they all struggled with different things in their lives but also the amazing friendships they all had.
It‘s crazy how my feelings towards Gabe changed. I loved him right from the start when we got to know him through Tommy‘s eyes but while he went through stuff and his pov changed, mine did as well and I love that this book could do this!
(Also Tommy and Gabe watching the movies together, was just beyond adorable!!)
The book turned out so much different than I thought it would but I‘m not mad about it.
I loved every second I spent with these characters and I am very much looking forward for another book by Erik!
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-arc!
September 20, 2025
Listened to this one on audiobook and it was pretty good, very engaging. It had more coming of age vibes than anything but there was such good stuff, like mm of course but cooking, tv shows, baking, and learning to accept yourself and let go of things that have past.
It definitely didnt end the way I thought it would, but I really liked the way it ended all the same. I feel like it ended in a way everyone kinda deserved after they started to learn to accept and respect themselves.
It definitely didnt end the way I thought it would, but I really liked the way it ended all the same. I feel like it ended in a way everyone kinda deserved after they started to learn to accept and respect themselves.
February 23, 2023
Lose You to Find Me by Erik J. Brown is quite a different story than his other book, All That’s Left in the World, a personal favorite. OMG! I was so excited to read this book. It gave me all the feelings! When Tommy met Gabe at summer camp, he realized he was gay when he liked Gabe more than a straight guy would. Gabe reappears in his life when he is assigned to train him as kitchen/ hosting staff at his workplace, Sunset Estates Retirement Home. Drama ensues after Tommy and Gabe kiss because Gabe fails to tell him that he already has a boyfriend. This coming of age story includes the culinary arts, best friend fights, work drama, crushes and coming out. Thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins Children's Books/Balzer + Bray for the ARC.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 30, 2023
Yeah I just don't like the cheating/home wrecking trope - even if the boyfriend is a dick. The only good thing about this was that they didn't end up together. I wish we heard more about Brad's story though.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 2, 2023
Another EJB book I dnf-ed.
Boring plot, bland personalities of main characters, no chemistry
Naaah
Boring plot, bland personalities of main characters, no chemistry
Naaah
May 3, 2023
“Maybe planning everything out like it was a recipe wasn’t always the easiest way to live your life.”
1 Sentence Summary: Tommy Dees wants nothing more than to attend the best culinary school in the country, the same school his dad went to before he died, but he needs a recommendation letter and his manager at the retirement home where he works won’t write one for him unless he completes three tasks, including training the new hire who just happens to be Gabe de la Hoya, aka Tommy’s childhood crush that he hasn’t seen in years.
My Thoughts: This book really took me on a rollercoaster. At the beginning I loved it and would’ve rated it 5 stars; the writing style was great and the story was cute. Then, in the middle, I strongly disliked it, and probably would’ve rated it 3 stars; the characters were annoying me and all the relationships seemed so toxic and I didn’t even want the love interests to end up together. However, at the end, I actually really liked it again, and it became a 4 star read; it didn’t end how I thought it was going to, and I really, REALLY liked the direction that it went.
The cover and the summary makes this seem like it’s going to be a romance, and while yes, there is romance, that wasn’t really the main focus. It was more about finding yourself (hey, maybe the title should’ve tipped me off to that lol).
I loved the cooking aspect, and the retirement home that Tommy worked at felt so real and was well developed and fleshed out. All of the residents had character and I especially loved Al and Willa. I loved this advice that Willa gave:
“But hold on—you guys waited all that time and nothing happened.”
Willa seemed annoyed. “First off, neither of us was waiting for anything. She had a family. She was living her life and I lived mine. Second, plenty happened. Just because it didn’t work out and we aren’t still together doesn’t mean nothing happened. That’s my point, hon.”
Overall, this was a sweet coming of age/self-discovery YA novel that does not have a traditional romance story and subverts a lot of tropes!
Recommend to: Fans of YA contemporary novels featuring cooking and lgbtq+ representation.
(Warnings: swearing; implied sexual content; underage drinking; finger amputation; mentions of death; mentions of suicide)
***
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for providing me an eARC in exchange for an honest review
June 25, 2024
Neturiu prie ko prikibti, taip, ne visai meilės romanas, išplaukęs iš žanro ribų, ir visiškai tipiškos YA žanro temos - draugystės, meilės, atsiskleidimas, nerimas dėl ateities planų, stojimo į universitetus, bet taip smagiai susiklausė, tiek gerų emocijų sukėlė! Prie to ypač prisidėjo įgarsintojas Kirt Graves - ir vėl fantastiškas darbas.
August 4, 2023
I absolutely love this!! Erik J. Brown is an incredible author. Can’t wait to read what he does next. Gabe’s behavior was incredibly manipulative. I’m not sure why I kept falling back into a mindset where I enjoyed his scenes. I love (tommy) and oh my god Brad is adorable.
October 5, 2023
One of the best YA contemporaries I’ve read in some time. I really loved how it approached YA romance maturely and realistically. And all of the characters and their relationships were so well written! This author is now an instant buy for me going forward! 5/5 stars and a new favorite.
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