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The One Skill: How Mastering the Art of Letting Go Will Change Your Life

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It’s about learning the skill of letting go, and how that will help you with every problem in your life. From stress to procrastination to habit change to loss and much more.

It’s an amazing skill, and the better I get at it, the better I am at life, the happier I am.

76 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2014

20 people are currently reading
434 people want to read

About the author

Leo Babauta

85 books716 followers
Leo Babauta is a simplicity blogger and author. He created Zen Habits, a Top 25 blog (according to TIME magazine) with 260,000 subscribers, mnmlist.com, and the best-selling books focus, The Power of Less, and Zen To Done.

Babauta is a former journalist of 18 years, a husband, father of six children, and in 2010 moved from Guam to San Francisco, where he leads a simple life.

He started Zen Habits to chronicle and share what he's learned while changing a number of habits.

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5 stars
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120 (28%)
2 stars
41 (9%)
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5 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
Profile Image for Nga.
116 reviews46 followers
June 19, 2018
Finished reading it and its time now to re-read and practice. Parts that I like most
- When we face some angry colleagues, its their problems not be able to stay calm and behave in a more constructive ways, not our problem, so it is not worth that we fireback by the same behaviour.
- Everything is changing by each second , we dont have to stick to that past minute bad version of us, but instead be new us in each passing by second.
- And yes, we are seeing people and the outside world via our lens of perfection, learn to accept that our perfect standards are not theirs, and its not their duties to follow them to satisfy our yearning for perfection. So that we are not obliged to be perfect aligning others’ expectations

As always, it is easy said than done. Well, lets try bits by bits.
Profile Image for Jana Jordanova-demircheva.
3 reviews
October 10, 2014
A book that makes you rethink whether the usual things you normally do are really what is good and makes you happy or just a habit or distraction preventing you from being happy. Easy to read and minimalist in so many aspects :)
10 reviews4 followers
August 8, 2016
A short book that helps you to apply the idea of letting go in your life.
Profile Image for Sean Goh.
1,527 reviews90 followers
June 12, 2014
He can let go of the ideal. Life doesn't have to be easy - the hard stuff is how we achieve anything of value. Life doesn't have to be comfortable - in fact, when we get out of our comfort zone, we grow. He doesn't have to know what he's doing - it's when we do things we don't know that we learn new things, new skills, and get better at them.

Fears generally stem from ideals, how we expect and wish things to be, and a lack of trust in oneself, and in the present moment.
Problems are rooted in fears, which are rooted in ideals.

1. Notice Signals.
2. See the Ideal.
3. See the Harm
4. Let go with Love.
5. See reality.

Accept impermanence. It is futile to try and keep anything the same.

Be a realistic optimist.
11 reviews9 followers
May 10, 2020
In this book Leo Babauta, well-known for his blog zenhabits.net, introduces one skill that can solve a myriad of problems: Letting Go Here's how:
* Stress?
Our stress comes from wanting things to be a certain way, and then we get stressed when things inevitably don’t go that way. But if we could let go of how we wanted it to be, and accepted and appreciated reality as it is, we would let go of the stress.

* Procrastination?
We procrastinate because of a fear of failure, hard tasks, confusion, discomfort. But if we could let go of wanting things to be easy, successful, comfortable ... and just accept that there is a wide range of experiences, we could just do the task.


This book is highly insightful, it is free to download and short enough to be read in one session. Definitely a must-read.
Profile Image for Tuyet Chu.
22 reviews100 followers
January 22, 2021
Mình đọc cuốn sách này ngay lúc mình cần nó nhất. Chưa biết áp dụng được bao nhiêu, nhưng nó giúp lòng mình dịu lại rất nhiều sau một ngày buồn đến mức chỉ muốn câm nín. Hiện tại, mình đã chấp nhận thực tại. Ngày mai sẽ là ngày đối diện, và mình biết, cuối cùng thì mình cũng sẽ bước qua mọi chuyện thôi. Nhưng cuốn sách này chắc chắn sẽ giúp mình bình thản hơn, và bớt đau đớn vô nghĩa hơn. Thật may vì tuần này mình cũng đã đọc lại "Tôi nói gì khi nói về chạy bộ", có một câu mà sẽ rất hữu dụng với bản thân mình trong khoảng thời gian này. "Thời gian chạy của tôi, thứ hạng tôi đạt được, vẻ ngoài của tôi – tất cả những thứ đó đều là thứ yếu. Đối với một người chạy như tôi, điều thực sự quan trọng là đạt được mục đích chính mình đặt ra, trong khả năng của mình. Tôi dốc hết sức mình, chịu đựng cái cần chịu đựng, và tôi có thể, theo cách riêng của mình, mãn nguyện. Từ thất bại và niềm vui, tôi luôn cố gắng bước ra sau khi đã hiểu thấu một bài học cụ thể. (Nó phải là cụ thể, dù có nhỏ nhoi như thế nào chăng nữa)."
Làm việc cần làm, chịu đựng cái cần chịu đựng, và bước qua nó sau khi đã thấu hiểu một bài học cụ thể.
30 reviews
June 26, 2014
Such a simple message with such a big impact. It is also amazing how timely the message came to me. Half-way through the book, as I was going through my day, it suddenly struck me that I was battling exactly what he was describing: letting go of a hurtful ideal.

I feel I am in a better position than I was before reading the book.
Profile Image for Erika RS.
875 reviews271 followers
April 10, 2015
A quick read with a good message -- dwelling on the things that makes us unhappy only makes us all unhappy and by letting them go, we can instead focus on the reality that is actually there rather than the one we manufacture. That said, the advice was fairly generic, so the book is unlikely to give you much that is new if, for example, you are a regular reader of Leo's blog.
Profile Image for Dion Yulianto.
Author 24 books196 followers
March 7, 2022
Berbagai kecemasan dan ketidakpuasan dalam hidup diawali dari fakta bahwa kita sering lupa kalau:

Life isn’t something we control, no matter how much we try.

Kita menginginkan segala sesuatunya ideal, semua sesuai dengan kemauan kita. Perlakukan orang lain sebagaimana engkau ingin diperlakukan orang lain. Tapi, setelah kita berbuat baik kepada orang, sering sekali orang itu tidak balik berbuat baik kepada kita. Kita ingin mereka memperlakukan kita sama dengan kita memperlakukan mereka. Sayangnya, kehidupan tidak selalu berjalan demikian. Selain tidak bisa mengendalikan segala hal dalam hidup, kita juga tidak bisa sepenuhnya mengendalikan orang lain. Kenapa? Karena

Their resistance is natural. People doesn’t have the right habits (neither do you) or perhaps has different priorities than you.

Lalu kudu bagaimana? Ya, Instead, focus on yourself, and be the
shining example. Be the compassionate center. Let go of wanting to control people, of wanting to change them.


sadari juga

Often one of the greatest sources of frustration is wanting to show others that we’re right, and they’re wrong. This causes us to be angry and insistent, and causes others to be the same way.

Begitu sering kita marah-marah tidak jelas. Tidak apa-apa merasa marah, yang berbahaya adalah hal-hal buruk apa yang mungkin kita lakukan saat sedang marah. Saat marah, ingat selalu bahwa

your anger comes not from the occurrence but because you don’t want the thing to occur.

Maka balik lagi ke poin pertama, kita tidak bisa mengendalikan hidup dan orang lain agar semuanya sesuai dengan keinginan kita. Dan itu tidak apa-apa. Kita hanya manusia bisa, bukan dewa atau muridnya Voldermort. Yang harus dilakukan hanyalah menyadari bahwa kita memang tidak bisa mengendalikan semua. Kita manusia biasa, dengan segala keterbatasan dan kesementaraan. Memang rasanya sulit, mencoba melepaskan idealisme kita tentang bagaimana realita seharusnya berjalan menurut pandangan kita dan menyadari bahwa realita adalah sesuatu yang tidak mungkin sepenuhnya kita kendalikan. Tapi melepaskan idealisme tentang hal-hal di luar kemampuan kita sering kali jauh lebih baik bagi diri kita maupun orang-orang di sekitar.

But the pain of letting go is often very little compared to the benefits of letting go of something that is harming us or people around us.

Hidup memang tak terduga. Kadang mudah, kadang sulit. Tapi seringkali kita hanya menyukai yang mudah dan sangat benci dengan bagian sulitnya. Padahal kehidupan adalah dua sisi mata uang: mudah - sulit, bahagia - menderita, menyenangkan - menyedihkan. Lalu, bagaimana cara untuk bisa menerima sisi "sulit" dari hidup? Dengan menyadari bahwa

Life doesn’t have to be easy — in fact, the hard stuff is how we achieve anything of value. Life doesn’t have to be comfortable — in fact, when we get out of our comfort zone, we grow. He doesn’t have to know what he’s doing — it’s when we do things we don’t know how to do that we learn new things, new skills, and get better at them.

Maka kunci untuk hidup yang tenang dan bahagia adalah

Accept the impermanence. Let go of the ideal, see reality as it is, and respond appropriately.
Without taking anything personally. Just respond to reality.


Jenis idealisme lain yang perlu dikendorkan sedikit adalah tentang "ambis". Seringkali kita mengambil terlalu banyak pekerjaan, terlampau banyak mata kuliah, terlalu berat tanggung jawab sampai lupa kalau kemampuan kita juga ada batasnya. Kalau nggak kena tipes, yan berujung stres. Untuk itu, pahami dulu:

Accept the situation: you have a ton of work, and limited time. Use the limited time wisely by doing one thing at a time, as best you can given your time limitations, then do the next thing. You can’t do more than one thing at a time, so get focused, get your work done, and accept your limitations.

Dan ini salah satu nasihat yang paling relate buat saya, karena terkait dengan fisik yang nggak "good-looking." Buat teman-teman yang juga merasa nggak goodlooking, mari sama-sama kita pahami bahwa:

You’ll never get to an ideal body (that’s fantasy) but you can 1) learn to be grateful for your body as it is, and 2) focus on health. Do healthy things, like eating vegetables and less junk, exercising and meditating. That’s more productive than comparing your body to a fantasy.

Dengan bahasa lain, menjadi goodlooking itu bawaan tapi menjaga tubuh tetap sehat adalah pilihan. Terakhir, berikut ini langkah-langkah untuk mengurangi kecemasan dan membuat hidup lebih damai dan tenang.

1. See how the ideal is making you suffer.
2. See how the ideal is making the situation worse (you being angry only hurts your relationship, you being unhappy causes you to comfort yourself with food, etc.).
3. Try putting aside your ideal and anger.
4. Turn to your suffering, accept the suffering, and comfort yourself.
5. See the other person or the situation as it really is. See that the other person is suffering too. Accept the other person as they are, accept the situation as it is.
6. Give the other person compassion.
7. Deal calmly with the situation appropriately. Find ways to make the situation better if there’s a problem to be solved.

Be grateful.
Profile Image for Kelly Deriemaeker.
Author 4 books836 followers
January 4, 2015
Ik lees alles graag dat Leo Babauta schrijft, en dit gratis e-bookje is daar geen uitzondering op. Interessant materiaal om over na te denken, over verwachtingen en idealen en hoe die ervoor zorgen dat we vaak gefrustreerd achterblijven.
Profile Image for Long Nguyen.
6 reviews
November 28, 2017
Oversimplify many aspects in life. Some parts are wordy and repetitive. Overall the message is clear: you need to learn to let go.
Profile Image for Meredith.
141 reviews
December 16, 2014
It's fitting that I read The One Skill after finishing The Art of Happiness by Howard Cutler, because this book was everything I wanted that book to be. The One Skill is a quick and refreshing read, with a conversational and enjoyable tone, whereas I found The Art of Happiness to be plodding and dry. While Babauta acknowledges that his idea came from Zen Buddhism, he doesn't hit you over the head with Buddhist philosophy, as The Art of Happiness does. Babauta uses everyday examples to illustrate his concepts, whereas The Art of Happiness relies mainly on the Dalai Lama's experiences; while we can all hope to emulate the Dalai Lama, he is not very relatable as an average human being.

Comparisons aside, I truly appreciated The One Skill. It came along at just the right time in my life, when I am actively working on letting go of stressful situations. Babauta made me realize that I am not stressed by the situation itself, but rather by my ideal, or what I want the situation to be. "Life isn't your fantasy, so dropping the fantasy and appreciating the reality will help you greatly." I am already considering ways in which I can begin applying this book's lessons to my life. I didn't give it five stars only because I felt that the first half, in which Babauta breaks up the act of letting go into five skills, could have easily been combined into one entire practice. After all, the title itself says that letting go is "one skill."
Profile Image for Cornelia.
226 reviews41 followers
April 29, 2015
Potrivit lui Leo Babauta, rădăcina problemelor noastre este incapacitatea de a da drumul anumitor lucruri care ne sunt nocive: stresul, procastinarea, obiceiurile, frustrările, frica, pierderea unei persoane apropiate. Surprinzător, autorul susține că letting go este o abilitate care poate fi practicată în fiecare zi. Puțin sceptică la început, pe măsură ce am continuat să citesc, anumite lucruri mi s-au părut plauzibile. Faptul că fiecare avem un ideal în fiecare domeniu al vieții noastre este real, dar faptul că acest ideal ne-ar putea afecta negativ m-a pus pe gânduri. M-am regăsit în exemplul lui Nathan care are de scris o lucrare de cercetare, dar în loc să lucreze la aceasta, pierde timpul. Idealul său că viața este ușoară și confortabilă și că va ști ce să facă este fals. Dar ce ar trebui să facă Nathan? Șau ce ar fi trebuit să fac eu acum mai bine de un an? El poate să renunțe la ideal. Viața nu e ușoară, atunci când muncim și luptăm obținem lucruri de valoare. Viața nu trebuie să fie comfortabilă, atunci când părăsim zona noastră de confort, ne dezvoltăm. Acceptarea că lucrurile nu vor fi ușoare și hotărârea de a le face oricum este o soluție ale cărei beneficii pe termen lung vor fi vizibile.

Capitol de capitol, Leo Babauta ia diverse domenii ale vieții: procastinare, frică, colaborarea cu oameni dificili, confruntarea cu obiceiuri,cu posesiuni, adaptarea la schimbare și la pierderea unei persoane apropiate și oferă exemple în care ne putem regăsi.
Profile Image for Tere.
130 reviews6 followers
May 6, 2014
The idea of "Letting go" that the author writes about is really interesting and it applies to a lot of life's problems (stress, procrastination, habits and distractions, loss, relationships). Nonetheless at first the book feels really messy and repetitive, and it's a little bit annoying that without expressing the idea fully, it gives you skills to practice.
However it gets better near the end with "Chapter 19: What letting go isn't" and "Chapter 20: Examples of letting go" that are, in my opinion, the key to understand the book. Letting go isn't being a victim, letting someone else get away with something or giving up. In fact, the idea is to live better lives and improve ourselves but suffering less in the process.
In the end, connecting the chapters, skills and examples you get a good look at the letting go skill and how to use it.
Profile Image for Manish Suwal.
5 reviews7 followers
May 11, 2014
This book was provided for free by Leo Babauta as his birthday offering. The book was quick read and all about the art of letting go. How letting go will improve your life and all. I have been dwelling on letting go for sometime now, and I think it's an important skill which every individual should master.

I would hold on to everything like it belongs to me and it'll be with me forever. But that only invites pain and misery in the long run. So, the faster you learn the art of letting go, the better you'll be in the long run.

Letting go is not only about tangible or physical stuff, it's also about intangible things like emotions, feelings and mentality.

It's a quick read which you can read in one sitting and start practicing the art of letting go.
Profile Image for Kim.
227 reviews29 followers
September 1, 2015
I cannot speak highly enough of Leo Babauta, his books, and his blog ZenHabits.

A combination of both mindful and minimal practices, Leo's work is both practical and philosophical, and has helped me tremendously with letting go of expectations, appreciating the now, and calming my anxiety.

This short book is the essence of his approach: be aware and go from there. A great and free ebook available from his website.
Profile Image for Danielius Goriunovas.
Author 1 book262 followers
July 28, 2016
[English review at the end.]

Trumpa, abstraktu ir šiek tiek... Hm. Eh. Heh. Ne. Turbūt jei norėčiau daugiau sužinoti apie Paleidimo (letting go) filosofiją, tai klausyčiau kokio Tado Rakausko ar Liudo Vasiliausko iš Lietuvos. Ši knygelė susiskaitė kaip koks lankstinukas.

- - -

Short, abstract and doesn't have any punching power. But probabbly - what else should I have expected from free ebook? Typical Leo Babauto book.
182 reviews1 follower
January 9, 2015
Grappig in zijn eenvoud. Gelezen in half uurtje.
Vind eerste helft een beetje té vanzelfsprekend, maar "tweede helft" (de eigenlijke methode in 5 punten + oefeningen) leek me een ideale manier om mijn dochter over een aantal dingen te proberen helpen. We zien wel of het werkt. Altijd al een beetje een stiekeme boeddhist geweest in het diepst van mijn gedachten.

(en voor die prijs (gratis) kan je natuurlijk niet klagen).
Profile Image for Cydney ♡.
27 reviews13 followers
July 6, 2017
The ideas compiled in the book are simple yet concise and precise. I read the interpreted version and its wording (the translated one) is, to be honest, not really good. Indeed, it took me so long to finish it because of this reason. But I decided to rate the read 4 stars for its simplicity. I'll definitely recommend you to read the original book, which I'll have to do in the future - reread this.
Profile Image for Caryn.
81 reviews3 followers
May 8, 2014
As a gift to all his blog readers Leo released this book free of charge. I had just read a book about being in the now and was happy for some reinforcement reading. It's a quick read and you don't realize it's going to unveil a new method for dealing our mind, how it makes us unhappy when we hold on to ideals how how to let go of that. worth it.
Profile Image for Jakub.
270 reviews
August 20, 2014
Its not what I did expected. Nothing new, mostly basics and book is trying to make a skill of something that IMO is not. When I hit practicing chapter I had enough, but there are some good examples, and for some people it may be worth reading, just to show them, that this is what they are doing but here "is the name and skill, so achievement unlocked"
480 reviews3 followers
May 21, 2014
I guess I need to let go of this book. That's what I learned from reading. I love Leo Babauta's work, but this did not resonate with me. I found it dry and lacking any connection with my life. Just not for me.
Profile Image for Pooja Babu.
33 reviews49 followers
May 23, 2014
A short and sweet book that gives tips to let go of stress, frustration, anger, deal with procrastination and cope up with the things that won't work the way we suppose them to be.
It deserves a quick read as it can be finished in an hour or so.
Profile Image for Rebekka Steg.
628 reviews102 followers
July 14, 2015
Leo Babauta has this wonderful habit of giving gifts every year on his birthday, The One Skill was his birthday present last year. I highly recommend downloading it! It's a beautiful primer on happiness, minimalism and how to let go of what is non-essential in life.
Profile Image for Manasik.
2 reviews
January 7, 2017
Fears generally stem from ideals, how we expect and wish things to be, and a lack of trust in oneself, and in the present moment. Problems are rooted in fears, which are rooted in ideals.
A short book that helps apply the idea of letting go in our life.
Profile Image for Sam Valladolid.
259 reviews111 followers
October 5, 2016
3.6/5

Un libro muy corto que cumple lo que promete pero es una lastima que el autor abuse al dar los mismos consejos una y otra vez hasta el cansancio.

A su favor, puedo decir que es perfecto para todos aquellos que aspiran en tener un estilo de vida minimalista.
37 reviews
January 7, 2017
Short and practical (!) read on the art of letting go.
Good to start with this –but then the challenge is to actually DO something. No book will ever change your life, only your –subsequent?– actions will.
Profile Image for Nancy Dardarian.
740 reviews13 followers
May 16, 2014
i kept getting distracted from this book, it just barely held my interest.
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