Ambition Monster: A Memoir

by Jennifer Romolini

A deeply personal memoir about workaholism, the addictive nature of ambition, and the humbling process of picking yourself up when the world lets you down—an anti-girlboss tale for our times for readers of A Love Story and Uncanny Valley

After years of relentlessly racing up the professional ladder, Jennifer Romolini reached the kind of success many a high-profile, C-suite dream job, a book well-received enough that reporters wanted to know the secrets to her success, and a gig traveling around the country giving speeches on “making it.” She had a handsome and clever husband, a precocious child, and a home in a desirable Los Angeles neighborhood. But beneath this shiny surface, Romolini was falling apart.

Written with self-deprecation and wit, Ambition Monster is a gutsy and powerful look at workaholism and the addictive nature of achievement, the lingering effect of childhood trauma, and the failures of our modern rat race. This is a Cinderella story of success and a brutal appraisal of the cost of capitalism—perfect for people pleasers, overachievers, and those whose traumas have driven them to strike for “goodness,” no matter the cost. With its timely and resonant deconstructing of the American Dream, Ambition Monster is a singular excavation of selfhood, an essential interrogation about the way we work, and an inspiring and affirming call to always bet on yourself.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Book Club, Biography, Womens

304 pages, Paperback

First published June 4, 2024

About the author

Jennifer Romolini is an author and podcast host.

Reviews

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am always impressed when people write memoirs that make them out to be horrible people. It’s an interesting kind of honesty. I think she came by it naturally because her family, particularly her mother, sounded like a trainwreck. It is difficult to read and I would love to read a memoir written by her husband, friend, coworker or family member and see how they saw these events.

I felt like this memoir was somehow both overly detailed and missing some real basic information and depth. That sounds impossible to pull off but she does!

For a book that is about her ambition, I really never felt like she was that ambitious. She kept moving up and bouncing from job to job working bonkers hours but it was never clear that she actually was ambitious. She never seemed to like her jobs very much or want to even do them, much less move up.

It felt like she was compulsively working seemingly without any goal beyond being employed. There was an oddly passive feeling about her work. I never felt like she was passionate about (or even very interested in) any of her jobs which is odd for a book about workplace ambition.

I can see why she would want to avoid being around a husband she barely seems to be able to tolerate and holds in contempt which would explain some of why she spent so much time working despite an apparent lack of interest in the subject matter or later, being a manager.

Part of her compulsive working might be that she seems to have a fear of poverty but she freely admits she and the husband never think to save any money at all no matter how successful she is which an interesting choice. They both came across as incredibly immature. At least she managed to stay employed most of the time and that kept a roof over their heads during their many impulsive moves, travels and career switches.

Most of the book listed her jobs and what she hated about them and how many hours she worked but I never felt like we got any depth to why she did any of it. Despite all the details of her messy personal life, I never got a good feeling of why she stayed in her marriage, why she had a child or even what exactly did she do outside of working hours day to day.

It is bold to admit you and your sporadically employed husband both neglected your child’s basic needs for eight years despite countless professionals saying he needed help for years and then move on from that little tidbit in about a page.

I did appreciate some of the class issues she talked about—how her fellow employees who were born wealthy were so demanding of the staff at the cafeteria and dirty in the facilities. That is not something I see in books often.

It was hard to read as she sounded like she was miserable all the time and frankly, stayed that way until the end of the book.

[Laura Donovan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone interested in writing a memoir should read this book. Truly a master class in memoir writing, attention to detail, and reflecting on a past that continues to haunt the future.

Born to teen parents in 1970s Philadelphia, Jennifer Romilini experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly of having young caregivers. Her childhood was one of love mixed with neglect and abuse. There are scenes of little Jennifer witnessing wild parties her parents hold at her childhood home, and I couldn’t help comparing her to Daisy Jones of an alternate universe. Jennifer had a rough go of it, but her mom dispensed some advice that stuck with her forever: always make your own money so you don’t have to rely on a man.

Jennifer worked her ass off indeed, holding down dozens of jobs before breaking into media in her late twenties, entering a field largely built on nepotism, money, and connections. Jennifer made it her own way but dealt with a lot of BS in the process - diva colleagues in the pre-2008 economic collapse media space, directionless managers who did not set her up for success, and a particularly cruel unceremonious firing that made her reevaluate what she spent her life working towards.

There’s so much sadness in these pages. Jennifer dated a lot of horrible men before meeting her husband, but I appreciate that she does not look at that relationship through rose-colored lenses either. She tells all about the toll marriage and babies take on relationships. I cried a lot reading about the abusive relationships she found herself in before marrying her partner. This is a book about the cycle of abuse and how we choose people who hurt us when we have been hurt by family members. There’s pregnancy loss, the end of a doomed marriage before a better one that also loses its shine, and the sad reality that work will never be there for you no matter how much you give.

This is going to be one of the most important books out in 2024. It reminds me of so many other brilliant memoirs - THE GLASS CASTLE, MAID, CLASS - and the upcoming FIRST LOVE by Lilly Dancyger.

Anyone who has worked in online media will feel seen by this book - the shaky nature of Facebook algorithms, pivots to video destroying livelihoods, page views and content coming before quality. I don’t think you need to be in the media world to appreciate the greater message, though: work is not a personality.

[Lydia Tinsley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thanks NetGalley, Jennifer Romolini & Atria Books for an ARC of this book!
I will say this memoir was refreshing in that Jennifer Romolini doesn’t go out of her way to make herself seem nicer/a better person like so many people do when writing about themselves. With that said, I still found myself force reading this to be able to fully review the arc.
So much of it sounds like a complaining teenager that it grated on my nerves. I understand some of that was necessary for the narrative, but it went past what was needed. I also felt like this could have been broken down into three main sections: young life (growing up with the Romolini Parents, which I would have loved to read more about), young adult life and adult life once having “gotten it together” enough to have a successful career and family. Each section referenced each other giving enough information, but felt like it was also just dipping your toe in the water instead of wading into it. There was so much depth and detail that at times it felt like there was neither.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, this book would have been helpful to read about 6 years ago.
In a past position, my boss's boss texted me "I wish I could just put duct tape over Ashley's mouth" while training new hires I was flown (unpaid) from MI to CA to onboard. Needless to say, it wasn't meant to be for me and she tried to cover it up. She'd worked at the company forever and instead of facing any repremand, I was volun-told to attend a course on "Dealing with Difficult People". Can you say passive aggressive? I stayed long enough for my bonus, then quit the next day.
Another workplace (at which I was promoted to manager & keyholder within 3 months of starting a sales position), an employee was threatening me via call/text after I'd caught her stealing money. When it escalated to her driving in circles around my neighborhood, I told my boss (also the company's CEO). He told me "this cat-fighting has got to stop", then cut my hours so the employee and I didn't have overlapping shifts. If you're wondering, the stalking didn't stop. I had no choice but to quit.

For anyone (women especially) grappling with the impossibility that is work/life balance, please read this. There are way too many self-help books about what you need to do to better manage. Start this. Try this. Do this.
Don't.

Just read this instead. And The Strangest Secret.

[Bonnie Goldberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Happy Pub day! The only non-current events, non-book review podcast I listen to regularly is called Everything Is Fine by Jennifer Romolini and Kim France. I stumbled onto it about a year ago, and since then it has become my go to podcast when the world feels too heavy. I did not really know Romolini or France but for vague name recognition that they were two high profile women who previously worked in magazines and tech. I was thrilled to find their substacks and then learned about this upcoming memoir. Ambition Monster is Romolini's searingly honest attempt to excavate long buried childhood tensions and anxieties, correlate them to her tenacious, difficult but wildly successful accession to the upper echelons of the tech business world, and mine it all for hard-won truths about the nature of work, ambition, and relationships. I have a weakness for well written memoirs charting a woman's path to the top and this one ticked all the boxes. Romolini is a superb wordsmith, a compelling story teller and wise guide. Highly recommend. Thank you Atria and NetGalley for this E-Arc. Highly recommend.

[sophia the first · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I’ve been thinking, jeez I’m kind of growing up to be a workaholic. How do I chill out and not take 20 years off my lifespan?

I thought this book was going to be relevant for me but it wasn’t really. It was about this girl who worked all these small jobs and gradually broke into magazine editing and lifestyle brands and stuff. Her point was that “at the end of the day, you need to do stuff that you think is fun.” Which idk, I didn’t feel it was that effective of a message for me, because accomplishment is fun. And then she went along blaming capitalism, which fair point but as an individual I wanted more personalized advice.

I guess my brand of “workaholism” is to be the best whatever it takes, and her brand was to put in as many hours as humanly possible. I don’t know, I just didn’t really connect or relate to her story or mindset, which was why I picked up the book. It was decently written but I’ll write this one off to me not being the target audience.

[Brian Meyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

The newsroom intern was candid, brash — and totally correct. As I was juggling two tasks and intervened to tackle a third during my stint as a radio news director, the intern commented: “No offense, but I’m starting to think you’re a work martyr.”

Is it any wonder why I almost instantly connected with Romolini’s memoir that casts a glaring spotlight on our “Hustle Harder Culture.”

The author makes no effort to sugarcoat her life story in ways that would depict her in a more favorable light. It’s a raw examination of how workaholism can become a crippling addiction and an ineffective ointment for trying to cope with childhood trauma. "Ambition Monster" also provides revealing glimpses into book publishing, the magazine business and the freelance economy.

True, there are sections of this autobiography that seemed unnecessarily bogged down with details. Still, it's book I wish I had been able to read a few decades earlier.

By the way, that brash intern — a hardworking lad himself — ended up getting an “A.”

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This excavation should not work. It’s too in the weeds, too disjointed, too much. But I devoured every word. It is so well-written and linked. I loved her stories and respect her introspection so much. Plus- her podcast series (Stiffed) was excellent!

[CatReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars rounded up. Jennifer Romolini's work history has included stints as editor-in-chief at Yahoo Shine, HelloGiggles, and ShondaLand, though since leaving those positions she's intentionally taken on lower profile assignments to focus less on climbing the corporate ladder and more on other facets of her life, explaining why in her memoir Ambition Monster.

Romolini's memoir is long and comprehensive but largely not as circumspect as one would expect from a person who's lived around half a century. There is a heavy focus on Romolini's '70s childhood traumas as the oldest child of freewheeling teen parents (who stabilized up as they grew up, and surprisingly stayed married all these years, offering a more stable upbringing to Romolini's younger siblings), which she believes impacted her people-pleasing, emotionally-compartmentalizing tendencies in the corporate world. Romolini's job history seems very scattered, more of someone stumbling into various roles and occasionally falling upwards than being intentionally propelled by ambition and calculation. Her husband (identified only by the first name of Alex) and her child (never identified by name) don't come off very well in the book, though neither does the author. I especially didn't appreciate the way pets were treated and described in the book.

The mark of a good memoir for me is introspection and maturity. Romolini seems to have had some personal epiphanies that have caused her to reroute her course, but largely due to external circumstances forcing her hand (dealing with minor health issues and her child's behavioral crisis), still she hasn't gotten over her childhood traumas and seems to blame her parents for a lot. It's a mixed bag in an overall well-written package.

My statistics:
Book 172 for 2024
Book 1775 cumulatively

[Kelly Pramberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm already picturing friends and family that will need to read Romolini's memoir. Burnout, perfectionism, working non-stop, all the things... she does an excellent job writing about how these factors came to be in her life. I found it interesting and an easy-to-read story. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Darcy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devoured this book in 2 days. Hit so close to home will likely need a therapy session to process.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir, and it turned out to be one of those books that I was sad to finish because I felt like the author was my friend. I think the title is a bit misleading -- I would classify this as more of an autobiography than a memoir about work and ambition. Romolini recounts her life since she was born and the trajectory of her professional career is a part of that but I think it's too reductive to say that this reads strictly as a memoir about ambition (just my two cents). The real winning element here is the author's voice. She has such a strong command of language and I really like her writing style, which is sharp and polished. Overall, I enjoyed it a lot -- it wasn't an enlightening read for me (I don't relate to being overly ambitious) but I think anyone who enjoys reading memoirs will appreciate it.


I received an ARC of this novel through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Mandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard about this book because its author is a cohost of one of my favorite podcasts, Everything is Fine. This memoir reflects on her relationship with work and ambition and how it basically takes control over her entire understanding of self. As a Gen X woman, so much of what she writes feels familiar. And we were moving through the same parts of NYC at the same time (but definitely not in the same circles), which also makes it feel like home. A great read!

[Whitney Pergram · Rating 5 out of 5]

A BIG THANK YOU to Atria Books and NetGalley for the ARC of Ambition Monster: A Memoir by Jennifer Romolini, detailing her life—from her chaotic childhood as the daughter of young, inexperienced parents to her precarious job hopping through toxic workplaces as she ascends into upper management in the media industry as a young woman with zero work-life balance and equally precarious personal relationships.

Her story feels like my story, like our story. As she writes, the story of every woman in the 80s chasing the perpetuated image of a woman wearing a business skirt suit with a toddler in tow. Or in my case, the story of the 90s too, right on her heels, wearing heels, while climbing the same corporate ladders. The same story retold about having it all, both domestically and professionally, if you just work yourself to death in the process, literally—"a pantsuit-wearing overcorrection."

If you have ever been a workaholic at any point in your life, you will relate to this memoir. The constant people-pleasing, putting out fires, jumping through hoops, working through lunch, working evenings, nights, weekends, and holidays as if on-call around the clock with no additional pay to chase the promise of the next raise or the next promotion that sometimes never comes. Essentially feeling as though you have finally made yourself indispensable, all while being incredibly dispensable because a corporation is not actually your family. As that saying goes, “If you died tonight, your manager would put out a job posting in 48 hours looking for a replacement. Your loved ones will miss you forever. Never become so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

I was torn between taking breaks from reading and not being able to put it down. "What does it mean to have value? What determines success? How do we know if we've failed?" Only we can answer these questions for ourselves. This is sure to be one of the best-selling memoirs of the entire year.

From an editorial perspective, the ARC I received could benefit from another pass for common errors still present in the copy. There are still missing articles, missing words, missing punctuation and capitalization, formatting issues still coming across on the page. Basically, a rough copy in need of another thorough edit with a keen eye, as these errors are a disservice to the text and the story being told.

I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

5 of 5 Stars
Pub Date 04 June 2024
#AmbitionMonster #NetGalley

[Lindsey Bluher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Women of a certain age and with a certain media obsession will *love* this (me, I am woman).

[Jamele (BookswithJams) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Atria Books and Simon Audio for the copies to review!

What an incredible book that hits a little too close to home for me. I picked this up knowing that I would be able to relate but I didn’t know just how much, and it was like looking in a mirror and I am so incredibly grateful that Jennifer shared her story. It is difficult to talk about putting work second at times and I fully understand the ‘pick up and just keep going’ mentality, but I admire how she tried to understand the root of where it is all coming from and do something about it, as that is yet for me to do. We are such an odd culture of finding value in working the hardest, longest, whatever the mostest, and no one else is doing that but us. I’ve been a part of it for way too long, and it was wonderful to not only hear someone speak this to the written pages but also discuss what they did about it and how they did not lose everything but gained so much when they stopped working all the time.

This is an inspiring read that I know I needed to hear, as in I listened via audio and the author reads herself. I loved listening the first time though but I have ordered a physical copy to read again and annotate. I highly recommend this one if you are working too much at your job or at anything where you feel like you have to do it all.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5, rounding down

[Teora · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked the chapter about birds

[Amanda Dingman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t really love rating memoirs, but this was amazing.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir by Jennifer Romolini left me with mixed emotions. Memoirs are so personal and I honestly feel bad rating them less than 5 stars. However, with this one, my overall feeling is that I wanted more. More depth, more details, more of a connection with the author.

In Ambition Monster, Jennifer takes us through her young formative years and does a good job in showing how her childhood left imprints that haunted her throughout her life. Born to very young parents, a theme of a lack of safety was apparent. The author takes us through her failure to launch years and an early difficult first marriage. I was surprised to learn the author got into magazine publishing, with a role at Lucky magazine. She talks about her admiration of Sassy magazine as being the springboard for her desire to succeed in the industry, and she discusses her boss, Kim France, which took me back to my teenage years reading Kim’s letter to the editor musings.

As the memoir moves to the back third, I was clamouring for more insights to understand and connect more emotionally to the author’s struggles and ambitions. Then I felt Ambition Monster came to an abrupt end with not a lot of closure on some outstanding threads. The author does have a podcast co-hosted with her former boss, Kim France, so maybe that would provide an update on where the author is now in her life.

I appreciated the author shared her story, and frankly, most of it was really sad as to how unstable the stages of her life were all the way through.

Thank you to Atria and Netgalley for the advance reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Emily TarBush · Rating 5 out of 5]

read this all today - made me laugh & cry, truly one of the best memoirs i’ve read in a while

[Lisa Enslow · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a fan of Everything is Fine, a podcast co-hosted by the author, so I feel like I know a good amount about her personality and style of communicating. I loved this tell all career and life memoir, as it illuminated her unique journey to the top levels of consumer magazine/digital content and included her emotional experience on that journey. Having grown up reading fashion magazines and watching the migration to digital content, Jenn's inside story was fascinating to read. She has a completely honest and brave way of telling her story, and I have even greater admiration for her now that I know her history. This book magically found it's way to my mailbox....I don't know how/why, but I'm grateful!

[Tasmerisk Haught · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the beginning of this book, hearing the upbringing her she had with two young parents to working her way up in the industry after starting later than one might assume. But she lost me at the end, or at the very least - I was less interested as we reached the end of her story! Overall, I did enjoy it, especially as an audiobook and as someone who invests a lot into my career in NYC. But in the end, it felt like she tried to fit too maybe metaphors that conflicted with the writing style at the beginning of the book. Also, I would have loved to hear more about how her life has actually been impacted financially and if it improved her relationships after shifting gears with jobs of lower intensity!

[Amy Kaufman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this.

[Ria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this after a recommendation from a friend and found a lot of it relatable, despite working in very different industries, being from different generations, and having different backgrounds. This will feel familiar to anyone who has used pure ambition and a sense of achievement to keep themselves going and establish a sense of safety and control when their life foundation has felt like anything except those things. Easy and quick to read!

I get most of my books from the library, and my ultimate rating system is, "would I spend money on this?" In this case probably not, but that's because I rarely re-read memoirs and not because of the quality of the book. Would recommend!

[Dodi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate that Jennifer Romolini doesn't portray herself in an unrealistically positive light in her memoir, Ambition Monster. Because she is unhappy throughout most of the book, it's bleak reading. Romolini goes into great detail about her life. I think parts of it could have easily been eliminated. When Romolini finally decides to prioritize her family and personal life, after seeking therapy, I was engaged. As she relates valuable advice gleaned from her realizations and experience, I yearned for more.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

"In a capitalist society, onerous work is often as satisfying as it is depleting. We've been conditioned from a young age to find pleasure in accomplishment's rigors and strains. It feels natural to view my overwork as noble, to settle into that foundational groove of the brain. In these first high-achieving months, I revel in the rush of my own competence, but the accompanying stress means it's at the expense of the health of my central nervous system. Threats to my job real and imagined keep my amygdala fired throughout my days. Goals at the company I work for remain in flux; it's hard to predict which way to march. (...) Keeping me motivated to work harder, to do as much as I can with less, is an institutional feature not a bug."

This was the book I didn't know I needed. A beautifully told memoir that I expected to be fully about working in a corporate career but ended up being about so much more; the institutionalisation of hustle culture, feminism, the influence of family dynamics, and how our self worth is tied to our jobs. I can't wait to reread this book.

[V · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I’ve read in a while.

[Tina]

Thank you to the publisher via Libro.fm for my ALC!

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea | I wanted to relate more | But I just couldn’t