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Destroy This House: A Memoir
For fans of The Glass Castle and The Liars’ Club, a tender, heartbreaking, and hilarious memoir chronicling the challenges of growing up with a desperately scheming father, a mother plagued by an acute hoarding disorder, and of parenting her parents while seeking independence.
The Long family’s love was fierce, their lifestyle bizarre, and their deceptions countless. Once her parents were gone, Amanda Uhle realized she was closer to them than anyone else, yet she found herself utterly confounded by the lives they had led.
Amanda’s striving fashion designer mother and her charismatic wheeler-dealer father wove a complex life together that spanned ten different homes across five states over forty perplexing years. Throughout her childhood, as her mother’s hoarding disorder flourished and her father’s schemes crumbled, contradictions abounded. They bartered for dental surgery and drove their massive Lincoln Town Car to the food bank. When financial ruin struck, they abandoned their repossessed mansion for humble parish housing, and Amanda’s father became a preacher. They swung between being filthy rich and dirt poor, devious and virtuous, lonely and loved, fake and real.
In Destroy This House, Amanda sets out to document her parents’ unbelievable exploits and her own hard-won escape into independence. With humor and tenderness, Uhle has crafted a heartfelt and utterly unique memoir, capturing the raucousness, pain, joy, and ultimately, the boundless love that exists between all parents and children.
The Long family’s love was fierce, their lifestyle bizarre, and their deceptions countless. Once her parents were gone, Amanda Uhle realized she was closer to them than anyone else, yet she found herself utterly confounded by the lives they had led.
Amanda’s striving fashion designer mother and her charismatic wheeler-dealer father wove a complex life together that spanned ten different homes across five states over forty perplexing years. Throughout her childhood, as her mother’s hoarding disorder flourished and her father’s schemes crumbled, contradictions abounded. They bartered for dental surgery and drove their massive Lincoln Town Car to the food bank. When financial ruin struck, they abandoned their repossessed mansion for humble parish housing, and Amanda’s father became a preacher. They swung between being filthy rich and dirt poor, devious and virtuous, lonely and loved, fake and real.
In Destroy This House, Amanda sets out to document her parents’ unbelievable exploits and her own hard-won escape into independence. With humor and tenderness, Uhle has crafted a heartfelt and utterly unique memoir, capturing the raucousness, pain, joy, and ultimately, the boundless love that exists between all parents and children.
352 pages, Hardcover
Published August 26, 2025
194 people are currently reading
6972 people want to read
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February 22, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
I am always so drawn to dysfunctional family memoirs, especially when there is any focus on mothers. I assume this is my trauma manifesting and looking for some common ground and relatability. I can only imagine how healing it must be to finally get it all out in a memoir and to see so many others live that same experience so I will never fault someone for putting themselves out there in the most vulnerable ways.
There were aspects of this that were incredibly fascinating and others that I wish were focused on a bit more. There were times I felt like details were being given that didn’t pertain to much and then moments in which time skipped over a lot once Uhle reached adulthood. Trauma on a developing brain is so intense and will lead to lifelong issues that unfortunately victims have to take control of themselves and wish there were aspects of this talked about in the book. So much time was spent in her childhood to young adult years, in college, but I wanted more from her time married and as an adult.
Things that make books like Educated and I’m Glad My Mom Died so popular is just how much the authours put of themselves in the book. And while Uhle does this to an extent, I wish it focused more on her and less on her parents. There was so much of her parents history, stories, lies, decisions that I wanted a lot of refocus on her instead of them.
This wasn’t bad by any means and you will feel for Uhle in all the ways and I’m so happy for her to be healing and writing this. But it also wasn’t my favourite memoir.
I am always so drawn to dysfunctional family memoirs, especially when there is any focus on mothers. I assume this is my trauma manifesting and looking for some common ground and relatability. I can only imagine how healing it must be to finally get it all out in a memoir and to see so many others live that same experience so I will never fault someone for putting themselves out there in the most vulnerable ways.
There were aspects of this that were incredibly fascinating and others that I wish were focused on a bit more. There were times I felt like details were being given that didn’t pertain to much and then moments in which time skipped over a lot once Uhle reached adulthood. Trauma on a developing brain is so intense and will lead to lifelong issues that unfortunately victims have to take control of themselves and wish there were aspects of this talked about in the book. So much time was spent in her childhood to young adult years, in college, but I wanted more from her time married and as an adult.
Things that make books like Educated and I’m Glad My Mom Died so popular is just how much the authours put of themselves in the book. And while Uhle does this to an extent, I wish it focused more on her and less on her parents. There was so much of her parents history, stories, lies, decisions that I wanted a lot of refocus on her instead of them.
This wasn’t bad by any means and you will feel for Uhle in all the ways and I’m so happy for her to be healing and writing this. But it also wasn’t my favourite memoir.
January 7, 2025
ARC for review. To be published August 26, 2025.
A strong 4 stars for this memoir. This is quite the story, and I’m guessing there are a fair number of families that are dysfunctional in similar ways.
The author grew up in a bit of a madhouse, with a dad who was always on the make in some way (though he did have a fairly long good spell) and a hoarder for a mother. Uhle and her family lived in five different states, always running from something, it seems and the family was generally in financial peril. Her father goes from wealthy entrepreneur to a poor seminary student then pastor, and her mother decides to become a nurse.
I found this fascinating. Within the first twenty five pages it seems clear that both of her parents were mentally ill, and while the author had few options when she was growing up in their home Uhle definitely enabled them as an adult…though she was a saint not to abandon them to their crazy. This reminded me a bit of Jeanette Walls’ THE GLASS CASTLE only not quite so tragic. The sections about food storage are going to stick with me in a bad way for a long time. Ugh. Oh, and nice shoutout to Racine’s famous Kringle which has long been a holiday staple for my family and I was likely enjoying some while I read this.
A strong 4 stars for this memoir. This is quite the story, and I’m guessing there are a fair number of families that are dysfunctional in similar ways.
The author grew up in a bit of a madhouse, with a dad who was always on the make in some way (though he did have a fairly long good spell) and a hoarder for a mother. Uhle and her family lived in five different states, always running from something, it seems and the family was generally in financial peril. Her father goes from wealthy entrepreneur to a poor seminary student then pastor, and her mother decides to become a nurse.
I found this fascinating. Within the first twenty five pages it seems clear that both of her parents were mentally ill, and while the author had few options when she was growing up in their home Uhle definitely enabled them as an adult…though she was a saint not to abandon them to their crazy. This reminded me a bit of Jeanette Walls’ THE GLASS CASTLE only not quite so tragic. The sections about food storage are going to stick with me in a bad way for a long time. Ugh. Oh, and nice shoutout to Racine’s famous Kringle which has long been a holiday staple for my family and I was likely enjoying some while I read this.
February 9, 2025
Reminded me of Tara Westover’s Educated, and The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.
December 28, 2025
Of all the books I’ve read lately, this is the one I’ve been recommending the most. It feels like suburban version of The Glass Castle with a touch of Grey Gardens. The author recounts growing up with loving but dysfunctional parents who supported and enabled one another’s eccentricities. The family goes from a middle-class home in New Jersey to a sprawling mansion that falls into disrepair to housing on a seminary campus when her father suddenly decides to become a pastor.
With each move, her mother’s hoarding and her father’s grandiose tendencies get worse. This book is full of darkly funny moments, like when her mother decides, without evidence, that she is dying of lupus and “you might have to drop out of school to take care of me.” One can sense the author’s aggravation with her parents, especially as they grow needier toward the end of their lives while she is juggling work and parenting. Still, it is obvious how much the author absolutely loved her parents, flaws and all. That love keeps this book from feeling snarky or mean. The writer’s trauma is very real, but so is her care for her family. This was probably my favourite memoir of the year!
Thank you to the publisher for giving me access to an eARC of this book.
With each move, her mother’s hoarding and her father’s grandiose tendencies get worse. This book is full of darkly funny moments, like when her mother decides, without evidence, that she is dying of lupus and “you might have to drop out of school to take care of me.” One can sense the author’s aggravation with her parents, especially as they grow needier toward the end of their lives while she is juggling work and parenting. Still, it is obvious how much the author absolutely loved her parents, flaws and all. That love keeps this book from feeling snarky or mean. The writer’s trauma is very real, but so is her care for her family. This was probably my favourite memoir of the year!
Thank you to the publisher for giving me access to an eARC of this book.
April 3, 2025
Reviewing memoirs is always a sticky spot. I want to acknowledge what the author went through and never want to give a poor review, because it was their experience.
I was hoping for more depth on how she was deeply effected by her mothers hoarding habits and her fathers multiple failed business ventures. We are given bits and pieces, at times, but I wasn’t drug through the anguish of her childhood with her.
It takes courage and bravery to put a memoir out there for all to read. For that reason I continued reading and gained some insight into her dysfunctional family and its dynamic.
I was hoping for more depth on how she was deeply effected by her mothers hoarding habits and her fathers multiple failed business ventures. We are given bits and pieces, at times, but I wasn’t drug through the anguish of her childhood with her.
It takes courage and bravery to put a memoir out there for all to read. For that reason I continued reading and gained some insight into her dysfunctional family and its dynamic.
October 28, 2025
This was an exceptionally honest memoir. Well-written and well-told.
December 14, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Amanda grew up with bizarre parents. I found it interesting that growing up, she told herself that her parent's problems were their own to figure out but as an adult, she had such difficulty setting those boundaries. The relationship between parents and children can be complicated enough without all the bizarre behaviors. The hoarding aspect was interesting to me too.
Amanda grew up with bizarre parents. I found it interesting that growing up, she told herself that her parent's problems were their own to figure out but as an adult, she had such difficulty setting those boundaries. The relationship between parents and children can be complicated enough without all the bizarre behaviors. The hoarding aspect was interesting to me too.
November 10, 2025
HIGHLY discussable. This memoir was written by the daughter of two lovable, but very unstable, financially,
foolish, hoarding parents. Somehow they managed to pay very few bills and just stack them, unopened around the house in piles. And that's just the beginning....
I don't know who was a bigger piece of work. Her mom spent all money on fabric and clothes and food. Excessive amounts of all that could never possibly be sewn , worn or consumed. Instead, they would pile up around the house and opened. The food rotting because it wasn't put in the fridge but mom also made the kids eat the rotten food and if they made a fuss about it, she acted like they were being high and mighty by refusing to eat four year old expired yogurt. Or moldy bread or crackers with maggots.
"In the old house, the hot tub had been stacked with unopened lawyers' office envelopes, and mail at our new house was being stuffed into crevices everywhere, but unless it looked like a check, they would examine it but never open it. I think this was part of a strategy in which they could claim, to themselves or to each other, ignorance. Sealed white envelopes were fanned and stacked in the living room, kitchen, and bathroom. They sat atop Mom's sewing projects on the big dining table and under my parents' king-sized bed."
"Also noticeable but normal for us was the food situation in the house. For years, Mom had stacked and stuffed our cabinets beyond their bursting point and jammed our fridge. This was not new. Nor was it unusual to have excess food- shelf stable and perishable alike sitting around in non-kitchen parts of the house. We had been eating spoiled food for years, but I didn't truly notice it until around the time I was fifteen, in our last months in that seminary house." It's still good," Mom told me. She pulled the foil back from a Corning Ware dish on the counter that held brisket from three nights ago, sitting in a puddle of brown water, the flesh gray. "Get a plate."
Finally as the daughter got older, she decided to do her mother favor and organize all the food in the pantry on some shelves she built. Her mother found the whole thing insulting, and refused to use any of the newly organized food. ""I don't know why you think you know everything, Amanda." Mom's tone was sharp, accusatory. She knew that for more than two weeks I'd been unpacking the food and setting up the basement while Adam lounged in the living room watching Matlock in a Detroit Lions jersey. Mom hadn't said anything at all about my project until I finished.
Then she was angry.
"Now we'll never find anything," she said.
Her anger lasted years and years. On principle, because I had organized it, she wouldn't use any of the food on those basement shelves.
My family lived in that house for eleven years, and when I helped them move out of it in 2005, I found a thick, ashy dust on the cans and boxes, undisturbed since 1994."
Strangely, though, they managed to raise two highly financially responsible children, who ended up taking care of them, and bailing them out for the rest of their lives. Completely unthanked, btw.
They lived in tiny houses, they lived in one huge, massive mansion. They were dirt poor, they were filthy Rich. The problems were always exactly the same. Buying, hoarding, avoiding creditors. Proving its not the the amount of money, it's how you handle it that makes or breaks you.
Anyway, that is just the tip of the iceberg! Please read.
foolish, hoarding parents. Somehow they managed to pay very few bills and just stack them, unopened around the house in piles. And that's just the beginning....
I don't know who was a bigger piece of work. Her mom spent all money on fabric and clothes and food. Excessive amounts of all that could never possibly be sewn , worn or consumed. Instead, they would pile up around the house and opened. The food rotting because it wasn't put in the fridge but mom also made the kids eat the rotten food and if they made a fuss about it, she acted like they were being high and mighty by refusing to eat four year old expired yogurt. Or moldy bread or crackers with maggots.
"In the old house, the hot tub had been stacked with unopened lawyers' office envelopes, and mail at our new house was being stuffed into crevices everywhere, but unless it looked like a check, they would examine it but never open it. I think this was part of a strategy in which they could claim, to themselves or to each other, ignorance. Sealed white envelopes were fanned and stacked in the living room, kitchen, and bathroom. They sat atop Mom's sewing projects on the big dining table and under my parents' king-sized bed."
"Also noticeable but normal for us was the food situation in the house. For years, Mom had stacked and stuffed our cabinets beyond their bursting point and jammed our fridge. This was not new. Nor was it unusual to have excess food- shelf stable and perishable alike sitting around in non-kitchen parts of the house. We had been eating spoiled food for years, but I didn't truly notice it until around the time I was fifteen, in our last months in that seminary house." It's still good," Mom told me. She pulled the foil back from a Corning Ware dish on the counter that held brisket from three nights ago, sitting in a puddle of brown water, the flesh gray. "Get a plate."
Finally as the daughter got older, she decided to do her mother favor and organize all the food in the pantry on some shelves she built. Her mother found the whole thing insulting, and refused to use any of the newly organized food. ""I don't know why you think you know everything, Amanda." Mom's tone was sharp, accusatory. She knew that for more than two weeks I'd been unpacking the food and setting up the basement while Adam lounged in the living room watching Matlock in a Detroit Lions jersey. Mom hadn't said anything at all about my project until I finished.
Then she was angry.
"Now we'll never find anything," she said.
Her anger lasted years and years. On principle, because I had organized it, she wouldn't use any of the food on those basement shelves.
My family lived in that house for eleven years, and when I helped them move out of it in 2005, I found a thick, ashy dust on the cans and boxes, undisturbed since 1994."
Strangely, though, they managed to raise two highly financially responsible children, who ended up taking care of them, and bailing them out for the rest of their lives. Completely unthanked, btw.
They lived in tiny houses, they lived in one huge, massive mansion. They were dirt poor, they were filthy Rich. The problems were always exactly the same. Buying, hoarding, avoiding creditors. Proving its not the the amount of money, it's how you handle it that makes or breaks you.
Anyway, that is just the tip of the iceberg! Please read.
November 8, 2025
Fascinating, infuriating, perplexing, a little exhausting to read (I can barely imagine living it). The author’s parents were what I call “chaos people” who seem unable to stop making “self-defeating choices that made everything more challenging” as she put it. In some ways they were grifters, in other ways just deeply flawed and weird people with no ability to see how their behavior hurt people around them and ultimately themselves. They seem to have enabled the worst in each other and their choices were bizarre and impossible to understand in any logical way. Their narcissism and the emotional blackmail of their kids was pretty upsetting, and the descriptions of the chaos they created around them disturbed my dreams when I read it before bed. (The title refers to the author’s own recurring dreams of destroying her family’s hoarded and neglected houses.)
Some of the surprising things the Longs didn’t participate in: drinking water, brushing teeth, state or federal taxes. I knew right away how things were going to go when the (hoarder) mom borrowed a big stack of quilting books from the library on a 2 week loan period. Sigh.
This book would probably appeal to people like me who have a strange fascination with how hoarding disorder works and how people can grow up in utterly dysfunctional families and be OK, and for people with an interest in disordered thinking and personality disorders. It’s funnier and more readable than I’ve made it sound. Reading about the things her dad was involved with inventing is kind of mind blowing. And for all the dysfunction there were good things and love. I do sometimes wonder what made some American Baby Boomers such awful parents though (in very specific ways). Maybe a good non fiction book group title?
Some of the surprising things the Longs didn’t participate in: drinking water, brushing teeth, state or federal taxes. I knew right away how things were going to go when the (hoarder) mom borrowed a big stack of quilting books from the library on a 2 week loan period. Sigh.
This book would probably appeal to people like me who have a strange fascination with how hoarding disorder works and how people can grow up in utterly dysfunctional families and be OK, and for people with an interest in disordered thinking and personality disorders. It’s funnier and more readable than I’ve made it sound. Reading about the things her dad was involved with inventing is kind of mind blowing. And for all the dysfunction there were good things and love. I do sometimes wonder what made some American Baby Boomers such awful parents though (in very specific ways). Maybe a good non fiction book group title?
December 28, 2024
I found this book an easy, if disturbing read. The author lived a very strange life with her parents and is in retrospect attempting to understand their actions. Gathered from hoarded belongings were records of financial disasters, lives that were lived always in pursuit of something, and a with a complete break from reality. The fact that they got away with all they did to others without guilt is maddening. The whole idea that this woman knew from a young age not to believe most of what her parents said (because it was always changing!) and still doesn't know the truth about much of it is what disturbs me. I hope writing this book was cathartic.
July 7, 2025
This is a tough one. While the prologue was incredible, perhaps the best of any memoir I've read, the remainder of the book fell short.
I felt that Uhle got swallowed up in the retracing of her parents lives. I wanted more of her experience, less of an odd resume of her parents' moves and career changes. She spent considerably more time focusing on her younger years to the point I felt detached from her as an adult (despite the devastating circumstances).
I wanted more of the vulnerability Uhle lead with in the prologue through the rest of the book.
I felt that Uhle got swallowed up in the retracing of her parents lives. I wanted more of her experience, less of an odd resume of her parents' moves and career changes. She spent considerably more time focusing on her younger years to the point I felt detached from her as an adult (despite the devastating circumstances).
I wanted more of the vulnerability Uhle lead with in the prologue through the rest of the book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 27, 2025
Publication day for an incredible memoir - highest recommendation.
January 23, 2025
Most importantly, a huge thank you to NetGalley, Amanda Uhle and Simon & Schuster for providing me with a copy of this publication in exchange for an honest review.
"In 'Detroy This House', Amanda sets out to document her parents unbelievable exploits and her own hard-won escape into independence. With humor and tenderness, Uhle has crafted a heartfelt and utterly unique memoir, capturing the raucousness, pain, joy, and ultimately, the boundless love that exists between all parents and children." -Dave Eggers, praise for 'Destroy This house'
Amanda Uhle was born into a loving yet dysfunctional family. Her father was a religious "motor mouth", her mother was a hoarder to the extreme and together they only saw the best in one another. Caught between loving them and hating the obstacles that love presented, Amanda and her younger brother Adam are left to navigate their childhoods and early adulthoods while striving to make sense of it all. Chaos ensues.
Although her writing seemed a bit jumbled and disorganized in places (I suppose the nature of the story is inevitably going to cause that), this was one book I couldn't put down and found myself making excuses to pick it up. Mrs. Uhle emotionally roped me in and kept me intrigued with how she would handle the bizarre situation presented. Her mom kept what on the counter for weeks?! Her dad did what with his taxes?!
Overall, 4 SOLID stars for this somewhat disturbing memoir of family and loving them regardless of everything they are, can be, and won't be.
"In 'Detroy This House', Amanda sets out to document her parents unbelievable exploits and her own hard-won escape into independence. With humor and tenderness, Uhle has crafted a heartfelt and utterly unique memoir, capturing the raucousness, pain, joy, and ultimately, the boundless love that exists between all parents and children." -Dave Eggers, praise for 'Destroy This house'
Amanda Uhle was born into a loving yet dysfunctional family. Her father was a religious "motor mouth", her mother was a hoarder to the extreme and together they only saw the best in one another. Caught between loving them and hating the obstacles that love presented, Amanda and her younger brother Adam are left to navigate their childhoods and early adulthoods while striving to make sense of it all. Chaos ensues.
Although her writing seemed a bit jumbled and disorganized in places (I suppose the nature of the story is inevitably going to cause that), this was one book I couldn't put down and found myself making excuses to pick it up. Mrs. Uhle emotionally roped me in and kept me intrigued with how she would handle the bizarre situation presented. Her mom kept what on the counter for weeks?! Her dad did what with his taxes?!
Overall, 4 SOLID stars for this somewhat disturbing memoir of family and loving them regardless of everything they are, can be, and won't be.
October 1, 2025
So I have to question the integrity of the book because of a statement on page 56. The author claims if she was good then she could stay up and watch the Carol
Burnett Show. The year is 1983 & the show went off the air in 1978, and variety shows weren’t air in reruns. It’s a weird thing to claim when research would have proven her memory to be wrong. Why not just state being able to stay up late to watch whatever was on TV. Also a lot of the book seems a little too fantastical from the inventions that never got off the ground to a church ignoring blatant neglect of their parsonage. The last few chapters about her parent’s deaths came across as sincere, but there’s a lot that can be questioned from unsuccessful research. I really wanted to like this, but for me there are too many holes & at times she came across as unlikable. It’s clear she had a challenging childhood & her parents were definitely troubled people. I don’t think she did a good job telling her story.
Burnett Show. The year is 1983 & the show went off the air in 1978, and variety shows weren’t air in reruns. It’s a weird thing to claim when research would have proven her memory to be wrong. Why not just state being able to stay up late to watch whatever was on TV. Also a lot of the book seems a little too fantastical from the inventions that never got off the ground to a church ignoring blatant neglect of their parsonage. The last few chapters about her parent’s deaths came across as sincere, but there’s a lot that can be questioned from unsuccessful research. I really wanted to like this, but for me there are too many holes & at times she came across as unlikable. It’s clear she had a challenging childhood & her parents were definitely troubled people. I don’t think she did a good job telling her story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 3, 2025
Destroy This House hooked me from the prologue and kept me engaged until around the halfway mark. The storytelling is straightforward with the occasional fact-checking of what she was able to find about her parents while writing the memoir. Unfortunately, I found myself speed-reading because the story became jumbled/repetitive and disorganized.
I sympathize with Amanda and know I cannot fully understand what she went through. Her tolerance of her parent's emotional manipulation and abuse was frustrating to read. Since it was not mentioned in the epilogue, I hope she has sought therapy to help address her complex grief and guilt because she gave so much more to her parents than they deserved.
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the ARC!!
I sympathize with Amanda and know I cannot fully understand what she went through. Her tolerance of her parent's emotional manipulation and abuse was frustrating to read. Since it was not mentioned in the epilogue, I hope she has sought therapy to help address her complex grief and guilt because she gave so much more to her parents than they deserved.
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the ARC!!
May 14, 2025
This was recommended by another author that I enjoy, and I found it entertaining and bittersweet. I understand the author's choice to center the memoir around her own experience of growing up in a dysfunctional family, but without more specific details about her family dynamic, I found that I wasn't able to really "get in there" and empathize with her the way I have been able to with similar memoirs. Perhaps a little bit of scholarly scaffolding could have helped--just more information or even speculation about how her parents became the outsized characters they play in this story. Without that, many of their motivations are murky. I realize that this is how they must have appeared to the author as their child, but the replication doesn't work as well second-hand.
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
June 9, 2025
I received a copy for review. All opinions are my own. This was a great read. It was like a rollercoaster following the chaos and hilarity of the author’s life. I think a lot of us reading can find similarities between her parents and our own here and there but obviously hers were to the extreme. I found myself shocked, entertained, and stressed out throughout this book. What a wild ride her parents took her on but she did an amazing job sharing it with the world!
January 8, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley & Simon and Schuster for providing me with this ARC.
I don’t typically like to rate memoirs because who am I to rate your personal life story, but this one is a very solid 4.
The writing structure is strong, blunt, and very Glass Castle-esque. I appreciated the combination of personal accounts and news headlines to share both the intimate and outsider perspectives on this family. There were some parts that fell into bit of a lull, but I think Amanda did a great job at capturing the important pieces while keeping the timeline on track and succinct.
The main reason this book is not a 5 for me is because it was a frustrating and grueling read. I very much sympathize for Amanda and cannot even begin to fully grasp the reality of what she faced, but it was still difficult to put up with what she endured. I felt as though her toleration of her family’s behavior was enabling them, but I think Amanda obviously knows that at this point in her life as well. The overall reflection is brilliant and disturbing.
I appreciate Amanda’s willingness to be so raw and share this all to the world. Highly recommend!
I don’t typically like to rate memoirs because who am I to rate your personal life story, but this one is a very solid 4.
The writing structure is strong, blunt, and very Glass Castle-esque. I appreciated the combination of personal accounts and news headlines to share both the intimate and outsider perspectives on this family. There were some parts that fell into bit of a lull, but I think Amanda did a great job at capturing the important pieces while keeping the timeline on track and succinct.
The main reason this book is not a 5 for me is because it was a frustrating and grueling read. I very much sympathize for Amanda and cannot even begin to fully grasp the reality of what she faced, but it was still difficult to put up with what she endured. I felt as though her toleration of her family’s behavior was enabling them, but I think Amanda obviously knows that at this point in her life as well. The overall reflection is brilliant and disturbing.
I appreciate Amanda’s willingness to be so raw and share this all to the world. Highly recommend!
November 11, 2025
I wonder how many people my age have stories about families living on credit and evading the IRS? This story felt somewhat familiar, especially in caring for parents at a young age and the mental and physical exhaustion of caring for a co-dependent parent. I appreciate she wrote this so others can see that sometimes being a good child is setting a healthy boundary!
November 19, 2025
This memoir based on the author's life chronicles her upbringing in the home of parents, who while loving, were highly dysfunctional. Her mother was an extreme hoarder, and both parents were completely financially irresponsible. I learned alot about the nature of hoarding, obviously an illness.
December 5, 2025
I’m sorry but 150 pages in……… and I can’t finish this. You should want to keep reading at 150 pages. I was so excited about this book. I thought it would be a pillar for my literary self based on its description alone. I can’t stand 3-page chapters. No memoir should have 75 chapters.
December 27, 2025
Memoirs about dysfunctional families are always hard to read, especially as a mother myself. This one is well written, personal + objective, and balances anger + love together, making it an easy 4 star read ⭐️
August 26, 2025
Review coming soon xx
September 13, 2025
Enthralling. I listened to this entire book today.
February 27, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley, Simon & Schuster and the author Amanda Uhle for the opportunity to read Destroy This House in exchange for honest review. The memoir started out slowly for me but then took off and I could not put it down. Destroy This House would be good for book discussion groups. I look forward to the release of the book when we will have chance to hear the author talk more about her life story.
#Destroy This House #SimonBooks #AmandaUhle
#Destroy This House #SimonBooks #AmandaUhle
January 1, 2026
well-written, but claustrophobic, stressful read
Read
September 10, 2025Not sure what to say about this book or how to rate - need to ruminate!
October 15, 2025
I could NOT put this down - you know a memoir HATES TO SEE ME COMING
Read on a cross country flight and THEN stayed up late to finish (!)
Imagine your parents not being interested in managing their finances (the Barringtons could NEVER) and never... learning how to do that! Also, I find hoarding so interesting after working with a hoarder while volunteering in college (was wildly underqualified to do this). Such an interesting read, and I really enjoyed it.
Read on a cross country flight and THEN stayed up late to finish (!)
Imagine your parents not being interested in managing their finances (the Barringtons could NEVER) and never... learning how to do that! Also, I find hoarding so interesting after working with a hoarder while volunteering in college (was wildly underqualified to do this). Such an interesting read, and I really enjoyed it.
March 4, 2025
I hate reviewing memoirs - its someones life! How can we judge that?
In any event, here I am, reviewing a memoir.
I think making a life story worth reading is taking your readers along in the most vulnerable way. What is hard here, is that Uhle has given us pieces of herself - and at times, it feels like it is lacking heart and soul that makes a memoir so so great. Yes, you rode in the car with your dad and through these mini-sermons we learned a lot, but there are SO MANY MORE DETAILS we could have had. Tell us what happened with that fateful phone call, tell us about how your family dynamic shifted after he heard his business partners planning without him. Tell us more, in some ways, but tell us the things we don't know. I hate even saying it!
Uhle gives us an insight to another type of family dynamic- and it is one, like the others have said, that is filled with trials and successes just like any other family...but not quite. If you like memoirs, pick this one up. This was not it for me, but it will be IT for someone else.
In any event, here I am, reviewing a memoir.
I think making a life story worth reading is taking your readers along in the most vulnerable way. What is hard here, is that Uhle has given us pieces of herself - and at times, it feels like it is lacking heart and soul that makes a memoir so so great. Yes, you rode in the car with your dad and through these mini-sermons we learned a lot, but there are SO MANY MORE DETAILS we could have had. Tell us what happened with that fateful phone call, tell us about how your family dynamic shifted after he heard his business partners planning without him. Tell us more, in some ways, but tell us the things we don't know. I hate even saying it!
Uhle gives us an insight to another type of family dynamic- and it is one, like the others have said, that is filled with trials and successes just like any other family...but not quite. If you like memoirs, pick this one up. This was not it for me, but it will be IT for someone else.
August 30, 2025
The Longs were masters of reinvention. Our lives were aspirational, or desperate, or occasionally genuinely deceitful. from Destroy This House by Amanda Uhle
I read an article on this memoir in the Detroit Free Press and knew I had to read it. Not only because of its Michigan and Detroit setting but because Uhle’s father became a pastor mid-life. I had to know more.
Uhle’s parents were dysfunctional. They were intelligent, likeable, hard working people. But they constantly made decisions that created hardships. Growing up, Uhle recognized that their house was not like other kid’s.
Her mother was a shopaholic hoarder. She was a sewer and purchased tons of fabric. She couldn’t throw out bottles with a last squeeze left or food that had spoiled. When the fridge was too full, frozen food was left on tables and in the car in the winter.
Her dad came up with a invention but his partner betrayed him. Without patent rights didn’t make a penny on it. He ignored bills and didn’t file income tax forms. He allowed their property and houses to fall into decay. He purchased things he didn’t need or use. He would borrow money from his daughter and not pay it back.
Uhle was overwhelmed with the stuff in the house, especially the disaster zone of spoiled food, some of which her mom tried to feed to her. She dreamed about clearing out the stuff, destroying the house, getting free of it all.
The Longs moved frequently. When one large house didn’t sell, they just left town, leaving their furnishings and possessions behind. Then, these were people whose wedding presents flew from the top of the car and they kept going.
After her dad became a Lutheran pastor called to a church in Downriver Detroit, he wouldn’t fix the parsonage because he didn’t have equity in the house. But the church insisted that he got free housing and should fix it up. (I heard that argument once from a Trustee!)
Uhle’s mother was oddly over communicative about her daughter’s sexual maturity, expecting her to get a boyfriend and gaining experience long before she was ready. She didn’t listen to her daughter but told her what she wanted or needed.
Uhle tried to contain the mess, cleaning the house and cooking safe food. When she left home for college she still couldn’t break free of her parent’s craziness. She discovered they never filed a FAFSA and at graduation she had student loans when her parents said they ‘paid’ for her college.
Her mom had become a nurse and became a hypochondriac. Her dad burned out and broke down from an abusive church. He was in and out of Hospice.
For years and years, I’d had a lingering worry: what would happen to my parents when all of their terrible choices came due? from Destroy This House by Amanda Uhle
Uhle had a supportive husband and a child, but could not break free from her parents’ messy life as age and illness came. She joined a support group for children of hoarders. She was left with the job of cleaning up the mess her parents left behind.
Writing this memoir dredged up more questions than answers. Her younger brother responded positively when he read the memoir.
Their surname Long was also a verb, she concludes. He parents strove for a better life, but were tripped up by their own poor decisions.
Uhle’s memoir is an addictive read. Readers from similar backgrounds will fell seen.
Thanks to the publisher for a free book through NetGalley.
I read an article on this memoir in the Detroit Free Press and knew I had to read it. Not only because of its Michigan and Detroit setting but because Uhle’s father became a pastor mid-life. I had to know more.
Uhle’s parents were dysfunctional. They were intelligent, likeable, hard working people. But they constantly made decisions that created hardships. Growing up, Uhle recognized that their house was not like other kid’s.
Her mother was a shopaholic hoarder. She was a sewer and purchased tons of fabric. She couldn’t throw out bottles with a last squeeze left or food that had spoiled. When the fridge was too full, frozen food was left on tables and in the car in the winter.
Her dad came up with a invention but his partner betrayed him. Without patent rights didn’t make a penny on it. He ignored bills and didn’t file income tax forms. He allowed their property and houses to fall into decay. He purchased things he didn’t need or use. He would borrow money from his daughter and not pay it back.
Uhle was overwhelmed with the stuff in the house, especially the disaster zone of spoiled food, some of which her mom tried to feed to her. She dreamed about clearing out the stuff, destroying the house, getting free of it all.
The Longs moved frequently. When one large house didn’t sell, they just left town, leaving their furnishings and possessions behind. Then, these were people whose wedding presents flew from the top of the car and they kept going.
After her dad became a Lutheran pastor called to a church in Downriver Detroit, he wouldn’t fix the parsonage because he didn’t have equity in the house. But the church insisted that he got free housing and should fix it up. (I heard that argument once from a Trustee!)
Uhle’s mother was oddly over communicative about her daughter’s sexual maturity, expecting her to get a boyfriend and gaining experience long before she was ready. She didn’t listen to her daughter but told her what she wanted or needed.
Uhle tried to contain the mess, cleaning the house and cooking safe food. When she left home for college she still couldn’t break free of her parent’s craziness. She discovered they never filed a FAFSA and at graduation she had student loans when her parents said they ‘paid’ for her college.
Her mom had become a nurse and became a hypochondriac. Her dad burned out and broke down from an abusive church. He was in and out of Hospice.
For years and years, I’d had a lingering worry: what would happen to my parents when all of their terrible choices came due? from Destroy This House by Amanda Uhle
Uhle had a supportive husband and a child, but could not break free from her parents’ messy life as age and illness came. She joined a support group for children of hoarders. She was left with the job of cleaning up the mess her parents left behind.
Writing this memoir dredged up more questions than answers. Her younger brother responded positively when he read the memoir.
Their surname Long was also a verb, she concludes. He parents strove for a better life, but were tripped up by their own poor decisions.
Uhle’s memoir is an addictive read. Readers from similar backgrounds will fell seen.
Thanks to the publisher for a free book through NetGalley.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 140 reviews