Conflict—The Unexpected Gift: Making the Most of Disputes in Life and Work

by Jack Hamilton, Elisabeth Seaman, Sharlene Gee

ConflictThe Unexpected Gift
Conflict between people can be defined as a difference that causes disagreements. Authors Jack Hamilton and Elisabeth Seaman go to the root of what causes conflict and how to rebuild relationships.
Interpersonal conflicts permeate our lives. Sometimes we believe that another person treated us unfairly, and that assumption causes us to become angry at the person. Such conflicts in relationships often are intensified because of old patterns of thinking and behavior that have gotten out of hand. Becoming aware of someones true intentions, and the many factors that caused them to behave the way they did, as well as awareness of our own reactions, starts us on the path to mutual understanding and reconciliation.
ConflictThe Unexpected Gift: Making the Most of Disputes in Life and Work suggests practical ways to honestly address, talk through and benefit from resolving conflicts. Every chapter has real-life accounts of peoples unresolved issues and the creative ways they resolved them.
The book stresses the importance of knowing yourself, clarifying and letting go of unfounded assumptions, apologizing to heal old hurts and moving forward by not only repairing relationships, but also often improving them.
Hamilton and Seaman wrote this book to give you the tools to talk through and mend unresolved issues that may have surfaced in your personal relationships.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology

276 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 7, 2014

About the author

Professional mediators Hamilton and Seaman wrote Conflict—The Unexpected Gift: Making the Most of Disputes in Life and Work to give people the tools they need to resolve the conflicts in their lives. Hamilton said, “We are at a time in the world when embracing diversity among people and groups is of vital importance. The reality is that adversaries are people who have not yet heard each other's stories.” Seaman is a Holocaust survivor; her experience in the concentration camp as a young child led her to a career in mediation and a personal commitment to helping resolve conflicts before they develop into catastrophes. Hamilton holds a B.A. from Harvard, an M.A. from the University of California, and an M.A. and a Ph.D. from Stanford. Seaman studied at UC Berkeley, received a B.S. from Boston University, and has presented at national and international conferences.

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This was both interesting and dragged a bit. Tons of examples of conflicts and resolutions and that got repetitive for me. Still, it was worth the read if only for the reminder that getting mad at people because of your assumptions about them will never get you anywhere.

[Angie Sanchez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely puts a new perspective on life in general.

[Lolo Onda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won a copy of this book through the Goodreads Giveaway! I learned a ton about my own behavior as i read this book. The Ladder of Assumptions felt like a tool that I could see myself using and maybe even manipulating a bit to match my own circumstances. I thought some of the examples throughout the chapters felt a tad bit out of touch with my own reality, but I found myself trying to recall circumstances in my own life that could have fit into each chapter and that was a personal highlight for me as I made a ton of time for reflection.

[Shani · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was utterly fascinated by this book by the time I finished chapter two. The very fact that we make such quick assumptions in today society is both enlighting but disturbing. Every day I live with my own ladder of assumptions because of the situations I've been through. It's hard to bring yourself away from those. Even more so if you've gone thorugh a series of abusive events. So my natural reaction toa conflict that has just hair of what I had gone through before can make me react in a certain fashion. It's not something that you really want to face, I mean being wrong is never comfortable. But what's even more so is being wrong and having conflict. I devoured the following chapters and found myself relating to the scenario. How many times have I just assumed the way my teenage kids said something to me as being negative. Instead of stopping to listen to the fact of what they're saying. The whole book just had me captured and made me feel better in becoming more self-aware. This is a fabulous book that needs to be read by so many, not just those in a work environment. I loved it and will make an effort to go back and go over it again.