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White Women, Get Ready: How Healing Post-Traumatic Mistress Syndrome Leads to Anti-Racist Change
White Women, Get Ready
is more than just a book—it’s a tool for anti-racism.
White ladies are everywhere. We are running nonprofits and teaching your kids. We are sitting on school boards and diagnosing your illnesses. Even when we are not at the tip-top of the institutional ladder, we are the ones the majority of legislators, CEOs, and officers roll into bed with at night. All too often, our fight for gender equality has been seen as separate from the fight for racial justice. But as we navigate powerful social spaces and the everyday moments that shape our lives, we must confront our complicity in upholding racist systems.
Part historical analysis, part memoir, and part call to action, White Women, Get Ready tells the story of how we white ladies have been groomed to uphold overlapping systems of oppression and how we can use our unique positioning to help upend these violent structures.
With a combination of thorough research, astute analysis, and illuminating personal narrative, Amanda K Gross challenges us to face the uncomfortable truths of white womanhood in order to dismantle its legacies, all while providing embodied tools to engage with the complexities of our identities, traumas, and harms.
White Women, Get Ready is essential reading for those who contend with white womanhood, seek to take action, and understand that the health and well-being for us is not separate from the health and well-being of all.
White ladies are everywhere. We are running nonprofits and teaching your kids. We are sitting on school boards and diagnosing your illnesses. Even when we are not at the tip-top of the institutional ladder, we are the ones the majority of legislators, CEOs, and officers roll into bed with at night. All too often, our fight for gender equality has been seen as separate from the fight for racial justice. But as we navigate powerful social spaces and the everyday moments that shape our lives, we must confront our complicity in upholding racist systems.
Part historical analysis, part memoir, and part call to action, White Women, Get Ready tells the story of how we white ladies have been groomed to uphold overlapping systems of oppression and how we can use our unique positioning to help upend these violent structures.
With a combination of thorough research, astute analysis, and illuminating personal narrative, Amanda K Gross challenges us to face the uncomfortable truths of white womanhood in order to dismantle its legacies, all while providing embodied tools to engage with the complexities of our identities, traumas, and harms.
White Women, Get Ready is essential reading for those who contend with white womanhood, seek to take action, and understand that the health and well-being for us is not separate from the health and well-being of all.
466 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 23, 2024
80 people are currently reading
612 people want to read
About the author
Amanda K. Gross
1 book5 followersAmanda K Gross is an intersectional anti-racist organizer, educator, and director of Mistress Syndrome, from which she organizes with fellow status quo and passing white ladies to heal from, disrupt, and transform the legacies of white womanhood. Certified at the 200-hour RYT level by YogaRoots On Location’s AntiRacist Raja Yoga School, Amanda has an MA in Conflict Transformation and is a PhD candidate in Expressive Arts where she has conducted autoethnographic research with family members about how arts and culture can support white settlers in sustaining anti-racist and decolonizing efforts. Amanda recently relocated to the Appalachian South on the stolen lands of the Tsalaguwetiyi (Cherokee) and is reconnecting with the Southern racial justice organizing traditions within which she was raised. Her other writings include contributions to Resistance: Confronting Violence, Power, and Abuse within Peace Churches and Bodies & Beliefs: Purity Culture and the Rhetoric of Religious Trauma (forthcoming).
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
July 25, 2024
Amanda has created an indispensable resource with White Women, Get Ready. This book combines historical context, personal stories, and practical tools to challenge white women to confront their complicity in racism and take meaningful action. Amanda's writing is both insightful and empathetic, making complex issues accessible and inspiring. White Women, Get Ready is a powerful call to action that is essential for anyone committed to understanding and dismantling the legacies of white womanhood and fighting for racial justice.
July 25, 2024
White Women, Get Ready is an eye-opening and transformative read that deeply resonated with me. Amanda seamlessly weaves historical analysis, personal memoir, and a powerful call to action into a compelling narrative that challenges white women to confront their complicity in systemic racism. Her thorough research and astute insights are both illuminating and empowering, offering practical tools for meaningful change. This book is a must-read for anyone committed to understanding and dismantling the legacies of white womanhood and fighting for true equality.
December 13, 2024
White women have a particular role to step into with Anti-Racism work. As a white woman who has been sitting in the wreckage that is the state of white supremacy in our country, I have felt a wide array of feelings and a lack of clarity about next steps. This book provides a clear pathway for consciousness building and action. Amanda Gross’ research and effective teaching style provides a framework for understanding the history of Racism, the creation of whiteness, and the intersectionality of Patriarchy, Capitalism, and Racism. Gross outlines an exploration of the archetypes that white women historically inhabited and, often unconsciously, reside in today. It allows for a space of reflection to pull these archetypes up from unconscious spaces to be confronted and discussed and consistently examined.
Throughout the writing, Gross brings her authenticity, vulnerability, and first hand experience. Unlike me, and I believe many white people, Gross has been clear about the inequities that exist in our country from a young age and has made it her life’s work to address these inequities. She has made mistakes and felt big emotions and resolutely continued to pursue her Anti-Racism work. She brings this experience to these pages. I have felt heard and in community with my own experiences as Gross illuminates points I have not encountered before this book. The confrontation of our blind spots is hard work and we need to be in community with it. This book is an avenue to opening up to these important conversations and necessary change.
White supremacy disconnects us from our rootedness. It supports individualism and destroys community. It disempowers the wisdom of our bodies and the earth and the people whose lives are committed to supporting these connections. This book invites us to engage where roots have been slaughtered. White Women, Get Ready is a map where navigation is needed.
Throughout the writing, Gross brings her authenticity, vulnerability, and first hand experience. Unlike me, and I believe many white people, Gross has been clear about the inequities that exist in our country from a young age and has made it her life’s work to address these inequities. She has made mistakes and felt big emotions and resolutely continued to pursue her Anti-Racism work. She brings this experience to these pages. I have felt heard and in community with my own experiences as Gross illuminates points I have not encountered before this book. The confrontation of our blind spots is hard work and we need to be in community with it. This book is an avenue to opening up to these important conversations and necessary change.
White supremacy disconnects us from our rootedness. It supports individualism and destroys community. It disempowers the wisdom of our bodies and the earth and the people whose lives are committed to supporting these connections. This book invites us to engage where roots have been slaughtered. White Women, Get Ready is a map where navigation is needed.
January 26, 2025
As a white woman interested in acting on and promoting anti-racism, I am probably the target audience for this book. It’s a brave book (in that it is a very personal exposure), and it offers a lot of good resources for more information. But I think the tag-line is incorrect: it is, after all, just a book.
I disagree with some of the other descriptions of this book being anything more than one more tool in the toolbox for promoting anti-racism. There are definitely some good takeaways for considering how to do more good than harm as a white woman. And there are good lessons about some white women who have done the work.
I can identify with some of the parts where the author is stymied by analyzing the difference between her intent and her impact. I think it is easy as a white woman to think and rethink and analyze and feel guilty.
And I guess that’s where this book falls short for me as a five-star tool. There is so much in-depth analysis about where the author fails to be the person she wants, even in her childhood, that sidelines the messages. I understand there is a lot to be revealed in personal anecdotes, and that’s why I consider this to be a brave book.
But reading about serious shortcomings as a human being is hard to read.
Yes, every anti-racist book is hard to read, especially when there is so much work to be done and undone. And we have to understand the problems to figure out the answers. So I cognitively get the idea for why the book is written with such a personal focus.
I would simply caution anyone who thinks they are going to come away from this book with a roapmap for anti-racist community should instead be prepared to find another lost traveler on the path, stumbling through her own way.
I disagree with some of the other descriptions of this book being anything more than one more tool in the toolbox for promoting anti-racism. There are definitely some good takeaways for considering how to do more good than harm as a white woman. And there are good lessons about some white women who have done the work.
I can identify with some of the parts where the author is stymied by analyzing the difference between her intent and her impact. I think it is easy as a white woman to think and rethink and analyze and feel guilty.
And I guess that’s where this book falls short for me as a five-star tool. There is so much in-depth analysis about where the author fails to be the person she wants, even in her childhood, that sidelines the messages. I understand there is a lot to be revealed in personal anecdotes, and that’s why I consider this to be a brave book.
But reading about serious shortcomings as a human being is hard to read.
Yes, every anti-racist book is hard to read, especially when there is so much work to be done and undone. And we have to understand the problems to figure out the answers. So I cognitively get the idea for why the book is written with such a personal focus.
I would simply caution anyone who thinks they are going to come away from this book with a roapmap for anti-racist community should instead be prepared to find another lost traveler on the path, stumbling through her own way.
May 7, 2025
If you are exploring your truths behind your identity this is a must read.
June 23, 2025
White Women Get Ready (WWGR) is not only a personal memoir but a support tool for antiracism. Amanda introduces the reader to concepts and practices of antiracism through her life experiences. Her stories demonstrate vulnerability and how living antiracist values is not simple, easy, nor painless.
Amanda also demonstrates that there really isn’t a foolproof manual or step-by-step approach to antiracism. It’s a lifelong process that is unique to each person. Participating in Amanda’s virtual WWGR affinity group was an incredible way to digest the book and find inspiration to find my own path to antiracism.
White Women Get Ready has become a reference book for me. Although my life experiences have been very different from Amanda’s, each time I read her stories, I see something different reflected back at me helping me to continue to move forward on my path.
Amanda also demonstrates that there really isn’t a foolproof manual or step-by-step approach to antiracism. It’s a lifelong process that is unique to each person. Participating in Amanda’s virtual WWGR affinity group was an incredible way to digest the book and find inspiration to find my own path to antiracism.
White Women Get Ready has become a reference book for me. Although my life experiences have been very different from Amanda’s, each time I read her stories, I see something different reflected back at me helping me to continue to move forward on my path.
November 14, 2025
I had the very lucky opportunity to meet Dr. Amanda Gross whilst she was in Columbia, SC at All Good Books to promote this book. As a southern white woman doing AFAM Lit work, I have been met with many a nose crunch and eyebrow raise. Why would a privileged young white woman do THIS kind of work?
Amanda’s labor of love transformed the way I see the world and connect with other human beings. Her words validated many of the feelings I have deeply felt and encouraged me to love more and harder. Every single white woman needs to read this.
Amanda’s labor of love transformed the way I see the world and connect with other human beings. Her words validated many of the feelings I have deeply felt and encouraged me to love more and harder. Every single white woman needs to read this.
June 29, 2025
This is a beautiful depiction of lifelong mental illness and self-hatred by the author. Highlights include:
- The vignette about her being fearful of a black family's behavior, and then worrying she is becoming a Karen.
- Fetishizing black males as somehow progressive, and then discovering they are more misogynistic than whites.
- Suggesting that women putting on makeup is unpaid sex work.
- Going on an Eat Pray Love lifestyle tour but agonizing over whether she is denying the humanity of the diversity men she sleeps with.
- Practicing yoga, only to become distressed because it is a "colonized" form.
- Likewise, raising concerns over whites assisting refugee children because they come from a culture where "mindfulness" traditions supposedly originated.
- Suggesting her father is insecure after he leaves her at a loss for words.
Ultimately, Gross comes off as repugnant, even to the BIPOC women she desperately wishes to mooch off and brown nose towards. The irony is, she could have followed her parents' wishes and started a family, which would have given her more love in the "white community" than she will ever receive as a dejected ally of diversity.
- The vignette about her being fearful of a black family's behavior, and then worrying she is becoming a Karen.
- Fetishizing black males as somehow progressive, and then discovering they are more misogynistic than whites.
- Suggesting that women putting on makeup is unpaid sex work.
- Going on an Eat Pray Love lifestyle tour but agonizing over whether she is denying the humanity of the diversity men she sleeps with.
- Practicing yoga, only to become distressed because it is a "colonized" form.
- Likewise, raising concerns over whites assisting refugee children because they come from a culture where "mindfulness" traditions supposedly originated.
- Suggesting her father is insecure after he leaves her at a loss for words.
Ultimately, Gross comes off as repugnant, even to the BIPOC women she desperately wishes to mooch off and brown nose towards. The irony is, she could have followed her parents' wishes and started a family, which would have given her more love in the "white community" than she will ever receive as a dejected ally of diversity.
June 9, 2025
Book Review: White Women, Get Ready: How Healing Post-Traumatic Mistress Syndrome Leads to Anti-Racist Change by Amanda K. Gross
As a public health practitioner deeply engaged in addressing racial health inequities, I found White Women, Get Ready to be a provocative and necessary intervention. Gross’s exploration of “Post-Traumatic Mistress Syndrome” (PTMS)—a framework for understanding how white women perpetuate racial harm despite intentions—challenged me to reflect on the ways public health, too, can be complicit in systemic racism, even when framed as “helping.”
The book’s blend of historical analysis, personal memoir, and anti-racist praxis resonated powerfully. Gross’s unflinching examination of how white women’s socialization (e.g., fragility, victimhood narratives) obstructs solidarity with Black and brown communities mirrored my own frustrations with performative allyship in health equity work. There were moments I felt discomfort—a sign of the book’s effectiveness—particularly when Gross dissected how well-meaning “saviorism” in advocacy replicates the very hierarchies it claims to dismantle. Her call to center accountability over comfort struck me as directly applicable to public health, where paternalistic interventions often ignore community autonomy.
That said, I wished for more explicit connections to structural health disparities (e.g., maternal mortality, environmental racism) and how PTMS manifests in clinical or policy spaces. While Gross’s focus on interpersonal dynamics is vital, public health practitioners need concrete examples of how these patterns play out in systems we navigate daily—medical gaslighting of Black patients, for instance, or tokenism in “diversity” initiatives. Additionally, the book’s transformative potential would be amplified with actionable steps for white women in institutional roles (e.g., healthcare administrators, policymakers) to dismantle inequities beyond personal reflection.
Despite these gaps, White Women, Get Ready is a courageous and catalytic read. It pushed me to interrogate my own positionality and reimagine public health’s role in anti-racism—not as a benevolent force, but as a collaborator in systemic repair.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a free review copy. This book is a must-read for public health professionals committed to practicing anti-racism, not just preaching it.
Rating: 4.3/5 (A groundbreaking framework—would benefit from deeper ties to structural health inequities.)
As a public health practitioner deeply engaged in addressing racial health inequities, I found White Women, Get Ready to be a provocative and necessary intervention. Gross’s exploration of “Post-Traumatic Mistress Syndrome” (PTMS)—a framework for understanding how white women perpetuate racial harm despite intentions—challenged me to reflect on the ways public health, too, can be complicit in systemic racism, even when framed as “helping.”
The book’s blend of historical analysis, personal memoir, and anti-racist praxis resonated powerfully. Gross’s unflinching examination of how white women’s socialization (e.g., fragility, victimhood narratives) obstructs solidarity with Black and brown communities mirrored my own frustrations with performative allyship in health equity work. There were moments I felt discomfort—a sign of the book’s effectiveness—particularly when Gross dissected how well-meaning “saviorism” in advocacy replicates the very hierarchies it claims to dismantle. Her call to center accountability over comfort struck me as directly applicable to public health, where paternalistic interventions often ignore community autonomy.
That said, I wished for more explicit connections to structural health disparities (e.g., maternal mortality, environmental racism) and how PTMS manifests in clinical or policy spaces. While Gross’s focus on interpersonal dynamics is vital, public health practitioners need concrete examples of how these patterns play out in systems we navigate daily—medical gaslighting of Black patients, for instance, or tokenism in “diversity” initiatives. Additionally, the book’s transformative potential would be amplified with actionable steps for white women in institutional roles (e.g., healthcare administrators, policymakers) to dismantle inequities beyond personal reflection.
Despite these gaps, White Women, Get Ready is a courageous and catalytic read. It pushed me to interrogate my own positionality and reimagine public health’s role in anti-racism—not as a benevolent force, but as a collaborator in systemic repair.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a free review copy. This book is a must-read for public health professionals committed to practicing anti-racism, not just preaching it.
Rating: 4.3/5 (A groundbreaking framework—would benefit from deeper ties to structural health inequities.)
August 19, 2024
This book feels like a must-read for white folx who are ready to face some deep truths about the role of our ancestors in society, and the complexities of our identities that we contend with today. Gross weaves historical analysis with personal narratives, and guides the reader in exploring how archetypes of white womanhood show up in our own lives. As a reader, the processing can be difficult at times, which makes it all the more important that the author is giving so much of herself, and her own story, as a courageous hand, reaching out in solidarity. This book provides not only deep analysis into the past, but presents a way forward (that is messy and complicated) to heal from it, and break the cycle of white supremacy in our own lives. Gross also has a Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/MistressSyndr...) to support readers in their journey of collective liberation with resources and opportunities for community.
September 30, 2025
I think my biggest takeaway from this book was the massive eye rolling black women, including the colleagues she describes in this book, must feel towards white women. The author was very meandering and aired a lot of dirty laundry which was probably therapeutic for her. Maybe there are mentally unwell white women out there who can relate to this woman's journey but it was a bit of a struggle for me to follow the jargon. I do wish the best for this author as she is clearly struggling to figure out the right way to be. I just don't think she's arrived (OK so none of us have) just don't go into this book thinking it will give you any answers. It might open you up to some of the realities of the mixed blessings and curses for a white woman in a patriarchal racist society but honestly if you haven't already heard the points she's making then the way she overthinks them might make it a little unclear what she's trying to say.
December 16, 2025
This book has broadened and deepened my understanding of the racist, sexist roots of American society. The author unflinchingly asks tough questions, reflects on what she's learned through her own experience, and acknowledges the complexity of relationships. I'm thankful for the opportunity to have read and processed this book in the company of other women (as part of an author-facilitated book study group) who care about antiracism and want to make change.
February 3, 2025
The book WWGR is an antiracism book unlike any other I have read. It is part memoir, part historical analysis and a call to action. Amanda Gross has written a well researched book that provides an opportunity for white women to learn deeply about what it means to be a white woman, and challenges us to use that knowledge to take anti-racism action.
Read
December 10, 2024This book is rich with the author's experience and learnings. It is a wonderful anchor to anyone who identifies as a white woman who wishes to begin or expand their anti-racism work.
July 25, 2024
White Women, Get Ready is a courageous and insightful exploration of the intersection of race and gender. Amanda provides a unique and necessary perspective on how white women have been complicit in upholding racist systems and offers concrete steps to challenge and change these structures. Her mix of historical analysis, personal reflection, and practical advice makes this book an invaluable resource for those committed to anti-racism. It's a powerful call to action that I believe everyone (and not just white women) should read and take to heart.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews